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UBC Theses and Dissertations

Life style analysis from the individual’s perspective 1984

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LIFE STYLE ANALYSIS FROM THE INDIVIDUAL'S PERSPECTIVE BY BETTY A.MACKAY B.A., Queen's U n i v e r s i t y , Kingston, Ontario, 1965. B.P.H.E., Queen's U n i v e r s i t y , Kingston, Ontario, 1966. A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFULMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS IN THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES (Department of Cou n s e l l i n g Psychology) We accept t h i s t h e s i s as conforming to the_reqn±red standard THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA March 1984 @ Betty A l i c e Mackay, 1984 In presenting t h i s thesis i n p a r t i a l f u l f i l m e n t of the requirements fo r an advanced degree at the University of B r i t i s h Columbia, I agree that the Library s h a l l make i t f r e e l y a v a i l a b l e f o r reference and study. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of t h i s t h e s i s f o r s c h o l a r l y purposes may be granted by the head of my department or by his or her representatives. I t i s understood that copying or p u b l i c a t i o n of t h i s t h e s i s for f i n a n c i a l gain s h a l l not be allowed without my written permission. Department of The University of B r i t i s h Columbia 1956 Main Mall Vancouver, Canada V6T 1Y3 DE-6 (3/81) ABSTRACT T h i s s t u d y s o u g h t t o e x p l o r e t h e A d l e r i a n c o n c e p t o f l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s as e x p e r i e n c e d by t h e c l i e n t . The p o p u l a t i o n c o n - s i s t e d o f e i g h t v o l u n t e e r c l i e n t s i n t h e r a p y a t a M e n t a l H e a l t h C e n t e r . A l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s was c o n d u c t e d w i t h e a c h s u b j e c t i n two 2 - h o u r s e s s i o n s . F o l l o w i n g t h e use o f a c u e d memory t e c h - n i q u e , q u a l i t a t i v e and q u a n t i t a t i v e d a t a were c o l l e c t e d f o r d e s c r i p t i v e a n a l y s i s . Q u a l i t a t i v e d a t a were c o l l e c t e d t h r o u g h q u e s t i o n s f o l l o w i n g e a c h s e c t i o n o f t h e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s . Q u a n t i t a t i v e d a t a were o b t a i n e d u s i n g a s e m a n t i c d i f f e r e n t i a l c o n s i s t i n g o f 1 2 b i - p o l a r a d j e c t i v e s . R e s u l t s f o r e a c h s u b j e c t were d i s c u s s e d i n a c a s e s t u d y f o r m a t . S i m i l a r i t i e s and d i f f e r - e n c e s among s u b j e c t s were o u t l i n e d . The f i n d i n g s o f t h i s e x p l o r - a t o r y s t u d y were d i s c u s s e d . An u n e x p e c t e d f i n d i n g was t h a t t h e q u e s t i o n s i n t e n d e d t o e l i c i t t h e e x p e r i e n c e s o f t h e s u b j e c t s t e n d e d t o h e i g h t e n t h o s e e x p e r i e n c e s and i n c r e a s e t h e p o t e n c y o f t h e l i f e s t y l e p r o c e d u r e . The r e s u l t s o f t h i s s t u d y a r e u s e f u l f o r c o u n s e l l o r s and t h e r a p i s t s u s i n g and t e a c h i n g l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s . They a l s o g i v e s u p p o r t t o A d l e r i a n t h e o r y r e g a r d i n g t h e l i f e s t y l e c o n c e p t . i i \ TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT . . . . . . . . . i i TABLE OF CONTENTS . . i i i LIST OF TABLES . . . v i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS v i i i CHAPTER ONE: 1 INTRODUCTION 1 Background of the Study. . . . . . . 2 Uses of l i f e s tyle analysis . . . . . . 4 Basic Assumptions of Adlerian Theory . . . . 5 Components of l i f e s t y l e : . . . . . . 6 The Family Constellation . . . . . . 6 Early Recollections (ERs) and dreams . . . 8 Collection of the l i f e style data . . . . 9 Interpretation: . . . . . . . . 9 Birth Position . . . . . . . .10 Sibling Ratings. . . . . . . .10 Sibl i n g Interaction . . . . . . .10 Description of Parents . . . . . .11 ERs and Recurring Childhood Dreams Presenting the Interpretation to the Individual . . 13 Li f e style analysis as Experienced by the Individual . 13 Statement of the Problem Significance of the Study . . . . . .15 CHAPTER TWO: 16 REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE 16 L i f e style analysis as experienced by the in d i v i d u a l . 23 Methods of Ascertaining the Individual's Experience . 27 i i i Page CHAPTER THREE: 30 METHODOLOGY 30 Design . . . . . . . . . 30 Subjects . . . . . . . . . 31 Instrumentation . . . . . . . . 32 Baseline data. . . . . . . . . 3 3 Assumptions . . . . . . . . . 34 Collection of the l i f e s tyle data. . . . . 3 4 Developing an Interpretation. . . . . . 3 6 Presenting the Interpretation to the Subject . . 37 Procedure and Data Col l e c t i o n . . . . . 3 9 Questions to e l i c i t the subject's experiencing . . 41 Data Analysis. . . . . . . . . 43 Defi n i t i o n of Terms . . . . . . . 4 6 CHAPTER FOUR: 48 RESULTS OF INDIVIDUAL CASE STUDIES . . . . 4 8 Preface . . . . . . . . . . 48 Case Study Number 1: Amy . . . . . . 49 Case Study Number 2: Betty. . . . . . 5 7 Case Study Number 3: Carl . . . . . . 6 4 Case Study Number 4: Donna. . . . . . 7 3 Case Study Number 5: Elaine . . . . . 8 2 Case Study Number 6: Fiona. . . . . . 9 0 Case Study Number 7: Ginny. . . . . . 103 Case Study Number 8: Hal . . . . . . 114 CHAPTER FIVE: 120 COMPARISON OF CASE STUDIES 120 Area of Involvement . . . . . . . 120 Area of Feelings . . . . . . . . 121 Physical Sensations . . . . . . . 125 Thoughts and Insights . . . . . . . 129 Reactions and Anticipations between Sessions . . 133 Quality of Experience . . . . . . . 133 Effect of Research Questions. . . . . . 136 CHAPTER SIX: . 137 CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUMMARY:' . . . 137 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . 137 Implications and Questions for Future Research . . 140 Limitations of the Study . . . . . . 144 Summary . . . . . . . . . 146 iv Page REFERENCES: 148 APPENDIX A: Information for Therapist . . . . . 156 APPENDIX B: Consent for Pa r t i c i p a t i o n . . . . . 157 APPENDIX C: Consent for Release of Data . . . . 158 APPENDIX D: L i f e Style Interview Guide. . . . . 159 APPENDIX E: Semantic D i f f e r e n t i a l Rating Sheet . . . 163 APPENDIX F: Sample Analysis of D S t a t i s t i c Analysis . . 164 APPENDIX G: Transcript for Case Study Number 1 : Amy . . 165 APPENDIX H: Transcript for Case Study Number 2 : Betty . 173 APPENDIX I: Transcript for Case Study Number 3 : C a r l . . 182 APPENDIX J: Transcript for Case Study Number 4 : Donna . 193 APPENDIX K: Transcript for Case Study Number 5 : Elaine . 204 APPENDIX L: Transcript for Case Study Number 6 : Fiona . 215 APPENDIX M: Transcript for Case Study Number 7 : Ginny . 232 APPENDIX N: Transcript for Case Study Number 8 : Hal . . 244 v L i s t of Tables Table 1 3 4 A 4 B 5 A 5 B 6 A 6 B 7 A 7 B 8 A 8 B Dimensions of Meaning: Bi-polar adjectives for A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Dimensions C r i t e r i a for Comparison of L i f e Style Sections and Movie Ratings C r i t e r i a for Linear Distance Measures A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number One: Amy . . . Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number One: Amy . A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Two: Betty . Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Two: Betty A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Three: C a r l . Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Three: Carl . . A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Four: Donna. Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Four: Donna A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Five: Elaine Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Five: Elaine Page 33 v i Page 9 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Six: Fiona . . . . . 94 9 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Fiona . . . . . 94 10 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Seven: Ginny . . . . 107 10 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Ginny . . . . . 107 11 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Eight: Hal . . . . . 116 11 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Eight: Hal. . . . . . 116 12 The degree to which subjects reported themselves engrossed in the l i f e style sections . 120 13 Feelings reported by subjects A - D during each section of the l i f e s tyle analysis . . . 123 14 Feelings reported by subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis . . . 124 15 Physical sensations reported by subjects A - D during each section of the l i f e style analysis . . . . . . 127 16 7 Physical sensations reported by subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis . . . . . . 128 17 Thoughts and insights reported by subjects A - D during each section of the l i f e style analysis . . . . . . 131 18 Thoughts and insights reported by subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis . . . . . 132 19 Reactions of subjects A - D after Session 1 ( L i f e Style sections 1 through 3) 134 20 Reactions of subjects E - H after Session 1 (L i f e Style sections 1 through 3) 135 v i i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am taking this opportunity to thank my thesis committee for their support and encouragement. I especially appreciate the continued encouragement and patience of my chairperson, Dr. Bob Armstrong. I also appreciate the advice and guidance of Dr. Larry Cochran in regard to the design of the study. I wish to express sincere thanks to Chris Kline, the Director of Delta Mental Health, for her enthusiam and support of my research project. I am grateful to a l l the therapists and the receptionist at the Mental Health Center for their cooperation. I extend a large thank you to the c l i e n t s who volunteered for the study; for without them i t would not have been possible. To my friends at New Westminster Secondary School and N. McNair, I express gratitude for their assistence. To my husband, Cam, and children, Colin and Angus, I am deeply grateful for their continued support and patience during this major undertaking. v i i i CHAPTER ONE 1 CHAPTER ONE I n t r o d u c t i o n L i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s as a t e c h n i q u e was o r i g i n a l l y d e v e l o p e d by m e d i c a l d o c t o r s i n o r d e r t o u n d e r s t a n d t h e p s y c h o l o g i c a l f a c - t o r s i n v o l v e d i n t h e t r e a t m e n t of p a t i e n t s ( A n s b a c h e r & A n s b a c h e r , 1964; D r e i k e r s , 1954). I t was l a t e r a d o p t e d by some p s y c h i a - t r i s t s , p s y c h o l o g i s t s and t h e r a p i s t s f o r use i n t h e c o u n s e l l i n g of c l i e n t s . I t i s used i n i n d i v i d u a l , m a r i t a l , and f a m i l y c o u n - s e l l i n g . In r e c e n t y e a r s t h e t e c h n i q u e has been i n t r o d u c e d i n t o t h e e d u c a t i o n a l f i e l d f o r t h e p u r p o s e of u n d e r s t a n d i n g s c h o o l a g e d - c h i l d r e n . S i n c e i t s i n c e p t i o n by A l f r e d A d l e r , t h e f o c u s of l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s has been on f u r t h e r r e f i n e m e n t s and t h e t e a c h i n g o f t h e t e c h n i q u e . In t h e p a s t t h e r e has been a p a u c i t y o f r e s e a r c h on t h e f o r m a l i z e d t e c h n i q u e o f l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s , a l t h o u g h components s u c h as b i r t h o r d e r and e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s have r e c e i v e d some a t t e n t i o n . The i n d i v i d u a l ' s s u b j e c t i v e e x p e r i e n c e of a l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s has been i g n o r e d i n r e s e a r c h . The p u r p o s e of t h i s s t u d y i s f i r s t , t o e x p l o r e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s as e x p e r i e n c e d by i n d i - v i d u a l s and s e c o n d , t o a s c e r t a i n t h e e f f e c t o f each s e c t i o n of l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s on i n d i v i d u a l s ' e x p e r i e n c e s . E i g h t s i n g l e c a s e s t u d i e s were c o n d u c t e d . CHAPTER ONE 2 B a c k g r o u n d of t h e s t u d y A l f r e d A d l e r , a m e d i c a l p r a c t i t i o n e r and c o n t e m p o r a r y o f F r e u d ' s , d e v e l o p e d a u n i q u e method o f i n t e r v i e w i n g p a t i e n t s a b o u t t h e i r e a r l y y e a r s . A d l e r wanted t o u n d e r s t a n d h i s p a t i e n t s ' p s y c h o l o g i c a l make-up i n o r d e r t o t r e a t them more e f f e c t i v e l y . T h r o u g h a method o f s p o n t a n e o u s q u e s t i o n i n g A d l e r was a b l e t o d e t e r m i n e an i n d i v i d u a l ' s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c method o f o p e r a t i n g i n l i f e . H i s q u e s t i o n s f o c u s e d on an i n d i v i d u a l ' s f a m i l y c o n s t e l - l a t i o n and e a r l i e s t memories. He t h e o r i z e d t h a t t h i s method of o p e r a t i n g a r i s e s o ut o f how e a c h i n d i v i d u a l makes s e n s e out o f h i s o r h e r c h i l d h o o d s i t u a t i o n . B a s i c t o A d l e r i a n p s y c h o l o g y i s t h e b e l i e f t h a t each i n d i - v i d u a l , due t o h i s f e e l i n g o f h e l p l e s s as a v e r y young c h i l d , d e v e l o p s a g o a l w h i c h he or she b e l i e v e s w i l l b r i n g him or h e r s i g n i f i c a n c e or s e c u r i t y . The p a t t e r n o f b e h a v i o r he or she e x h i b i t s i n o r d e r t o a c h i e v e h i s or her g o a l d e v e l o p s i n t h e f i r s t f i v e y e a r s of l i f e and r a r e l y c h a n g es t h e r e a f t e r . T h i s p a t t e r n o f b e h a v i o r A d l e r termed t h e " s t y l e o f l i f e " ( A n s b a c h e r & A n s b a c h e r , 1964, p . l ) . A d l e r used t h e f o l l o w i n g metaphor t o c o n - vey h i s c o n c e p t of l i f e s t y l e . I f we l o o k a t a p i n e t r e e g r o w i n g i n a v a l l e y we w i l l n o t i c e t h a t i t grows d i f f e r e n t l y f r o m one on t o p o f a m o u n t a i n . l t i s t h e same k i n d o f a t r e e , a p i n e , b u t t h e r e a r e two d i s t i n c t s t y l e s o f l i f e . I t s s t y l e on t o p of t h e mo u n t a i n i s d i f f e r e n t f r o m i t s s t y l e when g r o w i n g i n t h e v a l l e y . T h e s t y l e o f l i f e o f a t r e e i s t h e i n d i v i d u a l i t y o f a t r e e e x p r e s s i n g i t s e l f and m o l d i n g i t s e l f i n an e n v i r o n m e n t . ( A n s b a c h e r & A n s b a c h e r , 1964, p.173) R u d o l f D r e i k e r s , a l s o a p h y s i c i a n , and a f o l l o w e r o f A d l e r , CHAPTER ONE 3 d e v e l o p e d a s y s t e m a t i c s e r i e s o f q u e s t i o n s f r o m A d l e r ' s more s p o n t a n e o u s s t y l e and d e t a i l e d a m e t h o d o l o g y f o r i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ( D r e i k e r s , 1 9 5 4). H i s method d i v i d e d l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s i n t o t h r e e components, t h e f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n , e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s ( i n c l u d i n g r e c u r r i n g c h i l d h o o d d r e a m s ) , and i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . The f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n c o n c e r n s s i b l i n g c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and i n t e r - r e l a t i o n s h i p s , as w e l l as p a r e n t a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and p a r e n t a l and p a r e n t - c h i l d r e l a t i o n s h i p s . The e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s f o c u s on s p e c i f i c one t i m e e v e n t s t h e i n d i v i d u a l r e c a l l s i n h i s or her c h i l d h o o d p r i o r t o t h e age o f 8, and b r i n g t o l i g h t t h e c o n c l u - s i o n s t o w h i c h the i n d i v i d u a l came d u r i n g h i s or h e r f o r m a t i v e y e a r s . The i n t e r p r e t a t i o n i n v o l v e s w o r k i n g c l o s e l y w i t h the i n d i v i d u a l t o combine i n f o r m a t i o n f r o m t h e f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n and e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s i n o r d e r t o d e t e r m i n e a t t i t u d e s he or she has d e v e l o p e d c o n c e r n i n g s e l f , o t h e r p e o p l e , and l i f e . O t h e r f o l l o w e r s o f A d l e r have c o n t i n u e d t o d e v e l o p and e x p l a i n t h e c o n c e p t of l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s . Shulman (1973) d i s c u s s e d th e l i f e s t y l e i n c l u d i n g why and how i t d e v e l o p s i n i n d i v i d u a l s , and t h e many f a c t o r s t h a t i n f l u e n c e l i f e s t y l e d e v e l o p m e n t . Mosak (1971) a l s o b r o u g h t s t r u c t u r e t o t h e t e c h n i q u e by d e v e l o p i n g f o u r t e e n g e n e r a l i z e d l i f e s t y l e t y p e s . In h i s a n a l y s i s of t h e l i f e s t y l e p r o c e d u r e , G u r h u r s t (1971) d e f i n e d l i f e s t y l e as t h e " t o t a l i t y o f s y s t e m p r i n c i p l e s w h i c h a c c o u n t f o r t h e c o n s i s t e n c y and d i r e c t i o n a l i t y o f an i n d i v i d u a l ' s l i f e - movements" .( p . 30) . E c k s t e i n , B a r u t h , & Mahrer (1977) and B a r u t h and E c k s t e i n (1978) have p r o d u c e d p u b l i c a t i o n s e n t i r e l y c o n c e r n e d w i t h l i f e s t y l e i n w h i c h t h e y p r e s e n t t h e o r y , r e s e a r c h , methods CHAPTER ONE 4 o f a r r i v i n g a t l i f e s t y l e s t a t e m e n t s , and t h e d e v e l o p m e n t o f i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s . A d l e r i a n o r g a n i z a t i o n s p r o v i d e c o u r s e s t o t e a c h t h e c o n c e p t of l i f e s t y l e and t h e p r o c e d u r e o f l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s . Uses o f L i f e S t y l e A n a l y s i s A l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s has t h e a d v a n t a g e of c o l l e c t i n g a g r e a t d e a l o f i n f o r m a t i o n i n a r e l a t i v e l y s h o r t amount of t i m e . In terras o f t i m e and money t h e t e c h n i q u e i s a v e r y e c o n o m i c a l way o f o b t a i n i n g a q u i c k p e r c e p t i o n o f an i n d i v i d u a l ' s p e r s o n a l i t y ( V e r g e r & Camp, 1970). G u s h u r s t (1971) i n d i c a t e s s e v e r a l u s e s . The i n v e s t i g a t i o n p r o c e d u r e can be u s e f u l i n r e i n f o r c i n g t h e r a p p o r t between a t h e r a p i s t and c l i e n t as u n d e r s t a n d i n g d e v e l o p s between them. The t e c h n i q u e s g i v e i n d i c a t i o n s of p o s s i b l e f u t u r e p r o b l e m s w h i c h might a r i s e i n t r e a t m e n t , and t h e y c o u l d i n d i c a t e whether i n d i v i d u a l or group t r e a t m e n t would be b e s t . A l s o t h e y may p r o v i d e i n f o r m a t i o n u s e f u l i n v o c a t i o n a l d e c i s i o n s . Kopp & Dinkmeyer (1975) s t a t e t h a t l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s p r o v i d e s t h e s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r w i t h i d e o g r a p h i c i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t t h e s t u d e n t . As most of t h e i n f o r m a t i o n t h a t i s a v a i l a b l e t o s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r s i s n o m o t h e t i c , t h i s adds t o t h e i r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l s t u d e n t . Mosak (1958) p o i n t s out t h a t " t h e t e c h - n i q u e i s u s e f u l i n r a p i d p s y c h i a t r i c s c r e e n i n g , d i f f e r e n t i a l d i a g n o s i s , and i n t h e a n a l y t i c p s y c h o t h e r a p i e s " ( p . 3 0 8 ) . Mosak a l s o s t a t e s t h a t ERs a r e an u n s t r u c t u r e d p r o j e c t i v e t e c h n i q u e and a r e u s e f u l f o r g i v i n g a s u b j e c t ' s c u r r e n t o u t l o o k on l i f e . E c k - s t e i n e t a l . (1981) s t a t e t h a t t h e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s has many p r a c t i c a l a p p l i c a t i o n s . I t can be used w i t h d e l i q u e n t s , b o t h CHAPTER ONE 5 i n d i v i d u a l l y and i n group s i t u a t i o n s . I t i s u s e f u l f o r w o r k i n g w i t h " m a r i t a l d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n , n e u r o t i c symptomology, u n d e r - a c h i e v i n g s t u d e n t s , v o c a t i o n a l a d j u s t m e n t , a n x i e t y , and a p l e t h o r a of c o n c e r n s of i n d i v i d u a l s i n d e v e l o p m e n t a l programming" ( E c k s t e i n e t a l . , p. 3 4 ) . B a s i c a s s u m p t i o n s o f A d l e r i a n t h e o r y The i n d i v i d u a l i s viewed h o l i s t i c a l l y . A l l a s p e c t s o f a p e r s o n i n t e g r a t e t o form a t o t a l i t y or u n i t y o f p e r s o n a l i t y . ( M a n a s t e r & C o r s i n i , 1 9 8 2 ) . T h o u g h t s , b e h a v i o r s , f e e l i n g s , p h y s i c a l a t t r i b u t e s , and e n v i r o n m e n t a l f a c t o r s a r e a l l c o n s i d e r e d i n o r d e r t o comprehend t h e l i f e s t y l e of t h e i n d i v i d u a l . The i n d i v i d u a l i s viewed as h a v i n g i n n a t e p o t e n t i a l f o r s o c i a l i n t e r e s t , t h a t i s a f e e l i n g f o r t h e common good o f a l l p e o p l e ( A d l e r , 1 9 3 7 ) . F u r t h e r , A d l e r s t a t e s t h a t " s o c i a l i n t e r - e s t , l i k e a l l i n n a t e human p o t e n t i a l i t i e s , w i l l d e v e l o p i n a c c o r - dance w i t h t h e i n d i v i d u a l ' s s e l f - c o n s i s t e n t s t y l e o f l i f e " ( p . 1 4 ) . B e h a v i o r i s s i g n i f i c a n t o n l y when c o n s i d e r e d i n a s o c i a l c o n t e x t . A p e r s o n d e v e l o p s h i s or h e r own i d e n t i t y by c o m p a r i n g and c o n t r a s t i n g h i m s e l f or h e r s e l f t o o t h e r s . The b e h a v i o r o f a h e r m i t i s of no c o n s e q u e n c e u n l e s s i t a f f e c t s o t h e r s . The b e h a v i o r o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l i s c o n s i d e r e d t e l e o l o g i c a l , h a v i n g a p u r p o s e and a movement toward a g o a l . I n d i v i d u a l s a r e vie w e d as c r e a t i v e . They s t r i v e , i n t h e i r u n i q u e way, t o a c h i e v e s p e c i f i c g o a l s w h i c h h e l p them g a i n s i g n i f i c a n c e a n d / o r s e c u r i t y i n t h e i r s o c i a l s e t t i n g ( A n s b a c h e r & A n s b a c h e r , 1 9 6 4 ) . H e r e d i t y and e n v i r o n m e n t a r e i n f l u e n c i a l i n l i f e s t y l e d e v e l o p m e n t b e c a u s e t h e y p r o v i d e t h e framework w i t h i n w h i c h t h e i n d i v i d u a l makes CHAPTER ONE 6 c r e a t i v e p e r s o n a l c h o i c e s . T h ese a s s u m p t i o n s a r e i m p o r t a n t i n d e v e l o p i n g an i n t e r p r e - t a t i o n f r o m t h e l i f e s t y l e d a t a . Components of t h e l i f e s t y l e The F a m i l y C o n s t e l l a t i o n The f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n r e f e r s t o t h e c o m p o s i t i o n o f t h e immediate f a m i l y g r o u p , and t h e v a r i o u s ways i n w h i c h t h e y r e l a t e t o e ach o t h e r . The f a c t o r s i m p o r t a n t i n p e r s o n a l i t y d e v e l o p m e n t a r e t h e p e r s o n a l i t y c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and e m o t i o n a l d i s t a n c e o f each member, t h e number and sex o f c h i l d r e n , age d i f f e r e n c e s , b i r t h o r d e r , and t h e dominance or s u b m i s s i o n o f each member. (Shulman & N i k e l l y , 1 9 7 1). \ What i s i m p o r t a n t a b o u t t h e f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n i s t h e way i n w h i c h c h i l d r e n p e r c e i v e t h e i r p l a c e w i t h i n i t , n o t i t s make-up per s e . In c h o o s i n g t h e i r way o f b e l o n g i n g and method o f a c h i e v i n g s i g n i f i c a n c e a n d / o r s e c u r i t y , t h e y a r e i n f l u e n c e d by th e f a c t o r s of t h e c o n s t e l l a t i o n . They c h o o s e b e h a v i o r , i m i t a t e mannerisms, and a d o p t a t t i t u d i e s , w h i c h w i l l h e l p them a c h i e v e t h e i r g o a l s . They a l s o r e j e c t t h a t w h i c h i s n o t h e l p f u l f o r them i n t h i s r e g a r d . (Shulman & N i k e l l y , 1 9 7 1). The p o s i t i o n of t h e i n d i v i d u a l w i t h i n t h e th e c o n s t e l l a t i o n - - t h e r o l e he p l a y s — w i l l have t o some e x t e n t , a n i n f l u e n c e upon t h e p a t t e r n s o f t h e whole f a m i l y and t h e p e r s o n a l i t y o f each o t h e r s i b l i n g . ( D r e i k e r s & S o l t z , 1964, p.20) The c h a r a c t e r i s t i c ways i n w h i c h p a r e n t s c o n d u c t t h e i r l i v e s , p l u s t h e i r a t t i t u d e s and v a l u e s , form t h e f a m i l y atmos- p h e r e . The f a m i l y i s t h e c h i l d ' s i n t r o d u c t i o n t o s o c i a l r e l a t i o n - CHAPTER ONE 7 s h i p s , and p a t t e r n s l e a r n e d i n t h e e a r l y y e a r s a f f e c t a l l l a t e r s o c i a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( D r e i k e r s & S o l t z , 1 9 6 4). T h e r e a r e s e v e r a l t y p e s of f a m i l y a t m o s p h e r e s . A t m o s p h e r e s can be p o s i t i v e or n e g a t i v e . P o s i t i v e a t m o s p h e r e s , s u c h as e n c o u r a g i n g , r e s p e c t f u l , c a r i n g , and e g a l i t a r i a n , a i d c h i l d r e n i n becoming r e s p o n s i b l e , p r o d u c t i v e a d u l t s . The f o l l o w i n g a r e s e v e r a l examples, o f n e g a t i v e a t m o s p h e r e s d i s c u s s e d i n Dewey (1971) : The r e j e c t i v e a t m o s p h e r e — c h i l d r e n may f e e l r e j e c t e d even i f t h e y a r e a c c e p t e d . In t h i s t y p e of a t m o s p h e r e c h i l d r e n do not l e a r n t o l o v e and be l o v e d . The a u t h o r i t a r i a n a t m o s p h e r e — c h i l d r e n c o n f o r m or r e b e l t o p a r e n t s who demand o b e d i e n c e . The m a r t y r e d a t m o s p h e r e — o n e s p o u s e n o b l y s u f f e r s t h e b r u t a l i t y of o t h e r s and c o n s t a n t l y r e m i n d s f a m i l y members how h e l p l e s s he or she i s . The i n c o n s i s t e n t a t m o s p h e r e - - c h i l d r e n do not know f r o m m i n u t e t o m i n u t e what t o e x p e c t i n t h e way of d i s c i p l i n e and r o u t i n e and as a r e s u l t have t o cope w i t h i n s t a b i l i t y and l a c k o f c o n t r o l . The s u p p r e s s i v e a t m o s p h e r e — c h i l d r e n a r e n o t a l l o w e d t o e x p r e s s t h e i r t h o u g h t s and f e e l i n g s . As a d u l t s t h e s e c h i l d r e n ' have d i f f i c u l t y e x p r e s s i n g t h e m s e l v e s e m o t i o n a l l y and have p r o b l e m s i n i n t i m a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . The h o p e l e s s a t m o s p h e r e — c h i l d r e n f e e l d i s c o u r a g e d and d e f e a t e d . They l a c k encouragement from d i s c o u r a g e d p a r e n t s . CHAPTER ONE 8 The overprotective atmosphere—children are prevented from learning coping s k i l l s because parents protect them from negative experiences. Information about the family atmosphere i s obtained from the description of the parents and their relationship, as well as, the relationship of the parents to the children. It can also be obtained from the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . As the goal of a l l individuals i s to move from a position of ins i g n i f i c a n c e and v u l n e r a b i l i t y to a position of significance and security, the methods available to accomplish this within the family are important. In the family the c h i l d t r i e s by t r i a l and error to overcome feelings of ins i g n i f i c a n c e and v u l n e r a b i l i t y , and the success or f a i l u r e of these early e f f o r t s influence the person's l i f e s t y l e . Early Recollections Early r e c o l l e c t i o n s are interpreted by considering them as metaphors for l i f e . (Kopp & Dinkmeyer,1975). Recurring dreams are similar to r e c o l l e c t i o n s . A l l behavior,and thought i s a form of behavior, f i t s into a unique pattern which i s expressed as the l i f e s tyle (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). The fact that these events are remembered i s considered s i g n i f i c a n t , not the actual individuals or events involved. They (ERs) are f i r s t interpreted thematically and second with respect to s p e c i f i c d e t a i l s . In the l a t t e r instance enlargement upon the incidents may be requested of the patient. The characters incorporated in the r e c o l l e c t i o n are not treated in interpretation as s p e c i f i c individuals but as prototypes. They represent people or men or women in general or authority figures rather than the s p e c i f i c individuals mentioned. (Mosak,1958, p.64) CHAPTER ONE 9 C o l l e c t i o n of the L i f e Style Data There are various types of l i f e style protocols used to c o l l e c t the pertinent information, one of which i s used in t h i s study (Baruth & Eckstein, 1978). In general the information i s collected in the following manner. (See Chapter three for a detailed description of the data c o l l e c t i o n . ) The i n d i v i d u a l i s asked for information concerning his or her family c o n s t e l l a t i o n , the age of family members, the b i r t h order of s i b l i n g s including any miscarriages or deaths, plus any other signigicant person(s) involved with the family. Information about relationships with s i b l i n g s and peers i s collected via a series of questions. The i n d i v i d u a l i s asked to give a descrip- tion of his or her parents and their r e l a t i o n s h i p . F i n a l l y , a series of r e c o l l e c t i o n s and any childhood dreams are collected including the f e e l i n g associated with them. According to Verger and Camp (1970) rapport between the counsellor and the c l i e n t i s not essential in the c o l l e c t i o n of t h i s data. However, they maintain that development of rapport i s necessary i f the c l i e n t shows any reluctance. Interpretation Following the c o l l e c t i o n of the data the investigator spends time developing an interpretation. In interpreting the i n f o r - ation, the data from the family constellation are used in con- junction with the r e c o l l e c t i o n s to find the current basic attitudes toward self,others, and l i f e . The conclusions to which the i n d i v i d u a l has come are ascertained from these attitudes. (Eckstein et al.,1977). Family constellation and family atraos- CHAPTER ONE 10 phere form the context within which the ind i v i d u a l forms these basic attitudes. In the family c o n t e l l a t i o n the following factors are considered when developing an interpretation: Birth position The position of only, oldest, second born, middle, and youngest influence an individual's l i f e s t y l e . The chronological b i r t h position i s not as s i g i f i c a n t as the psychological positions. Hence a second born in the family who i s more accomplished than an older s i b l i n g may take on the character- i s t i c s of a f i r s t born. Sib l i n g Ratings An individual's s i b l i n g s (and parents) form his or her f i r s t society (Dreikers & Soltz, 1964). The c h a r a c t e r i s t i c patterns of t r a i t s indicate the roles played by the children and their methods of obtaining s i g n i f i c a n c e . The way in which individuals compare themselves to their s i b l i n g s w i l l , to some extent, determine how they w i l l eventually compare themselves to their peers. Si b l i n g Interaction The interaction children have with their s i b l i n g s provides them with patterns of interaction as adults. Children compete with each other for the attention of the parents, thus r i v a l r i e s occur between s i b l i n g s . The differences between s i b l i n g s in a family are influenced by their competition with each other. As adults they may compete in a similar manner with their peers and develop competitive rela t i o n s h i p s . S i m i l a r i t i e s between s i b l i n g s CHAPTER ONE 11 i s influenced by parental values, parental attitudes, and s i t u a - t i o n a l s i m i l a r i t i e s . Thus children who have similar situations in a family may form a l l i a n c e s . For example, the f i r s t and t h i r d children in a family may have more in common and form an a l l i - ance. In adult l i f e they may interact with adults in a similar manner in friendships and work relati o n s h i p s . (Eckstein et a l . 1977) . Description of Parents The individual's description of his or her parents indicate the quality of parenting and the modeling of c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s to which the c h i l d was exposed. Nurturing or lack of i t i s often indicated in these descriptions. The relationship an i n d i v i d u a l had with his or her parents i s a strong influence on his or her l i f e style as the quality of parent-child relationships a f f e c t s e l f esteem. How each c h i l d chooses to respond to parental personalities i s a key factor in l i f e style formation. In their relationship parents also provide a model for intimate r e l a t i o n s h i p s . Early Recollections and recurring childhood dreams The important factor in interpretation i s the character- i s t i c outlook implied by the r e c o l l e c t i o n , not the description of the behavior (Mosak,1958). According to Adler the individual actively retains the r e c o l l e c t i o n s and s e l e c t i v e l y a l t e r s them according to his or her basic b e l i e f s (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Within the r e c o l l e c t i o n s the interpreter searches for CHAPTER ONE 12 attitudes which the i n d i v i d u a l holds. For example, individuals may f e e l that they are small and helpless or strong and indepen- dent. Other people may be viewed as helpful or s e l f i s h . L i f e may be a great adventure or a vicious jungle. The opinions held i n - fluence the conclusions made. Thus i f an i n d i v i d u a l believes that he or she i s l i t t l e and helpless and the world i s a vicious jungle, he or she may conclude that protection from others i s necessary for s u r v i v a l . Such conclusions influence behavior. The person may chose to act in a manner that w i l l gain protection from others. If other people are believed to be self-centered and and unpredictable then a d i f f e r e n t conclusion may be reached and the i n d i v i d u a l w i l l behave accordingly. The purpose of r e c o l l e c t i o n s i s to guide the i n d i v i d u a l to retain long range goals. The purpose of dreams i s one of current problem solving. (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Recurring c h i l d - hood dreams are treated as early r e c o l l e c t i o n s (Eckstein et a l , 1977). Adler (1936) considered recurring dreams as "a repeated answer to a repeatedly confronting problem" (p.8). The information gleaned from the family c o n s t e l l a t i o n and r e c o l l e c t i o n s are connected in therapy to establish an i n d i v i - dual's c h a r a c t e r i s t i c outlook and method of operating in l i f e . The s k i l l s - and knowledge necessary to interpret l i f e style data are the knowledge of Adlerian theory of personality develop- ment, plus the a b i l i t y to note s i m i l a r i t i e s and differences that create patterns (Gushurst, 1971). CHAPTER ONE 13 Presenting the Interpretation to the Individual No emphasis has been placed in the l i t e r a t u r e on the method in which interpretations are presented to the i n d i v i d u a l . Instructions are given generally, to share the summary or d i s - closure statements with the i n d i v i d u a l (Eckstein et a l . , 1977, p.15) McKelvie & Friedland (1978) state that "disclosures are statements about how a person operates, without a value judge- ment. This integration between the c l i e n t and the counselor i s most d i f f i c u l t , i f not impossible, to describe" (p.49). Shulman (1973) considers revealing the L i f e Style to the patient as part of the treatment, "One discusses i t with him, explains some of the factors that led to i t , describes the effect i t would have on behavior, shows how i t has led him to d i f f i c u l t i e s and exposes i t s i n t e r n a l logic and consistency" (p.43). L i f e Style Analysis as Experienced by the Individual The focus of l i f e style theory has been one of teaching c l i n i c i a n s the concept of l i f e s t y l e , the s k i l l s of interpre- t a t i o n , and the method of conducting a l i f e style analysis. This focus on l i f e style analysis has been from the c l i n i c i a n ' s point of view. There has been no research on l i f e style analysis as experienced by the c l i e n t . Any interest in the c l i e n t ' s response has been to determine the correctness of the c l i n i c i a n ' s i n t e r - pretation . When talking with people who were in the process of a l i f e style analysis the investigator heard comments such as, 'my hands f e e l l i k e i c e ' , 'I have a headache', ' my knees are shaking'. After completing the procedure the c l i e n t s made comments such as, CHAPTER ONE 14 'I was so nervous', I f e l t so relieved', 'I f e l t nauseous, ' i t blew my mind'. Therapists who use the procedure have commented to the investigator that 'many people cry', 'a few people walk out', 'people tend to become emotional during the c o l l e c t i o n of the information', 'I have changed the method of l i f e style analysis that I use because of the reactions of my c l i e n t s . From the comments of both c l i n i c i a n s and individuals i t i s obvious that individuals have reactions to the procedure and the reactions seem ideosyncratic. It appears also that the way in which the procedure i s conducted influences how an i n d i v i d u a l w i l l react. This indicates the need for more information on in d i v i d u a l reactions to both s p e c i f i c segments of l i f e s t yle analysis, and to l i f e s t yle analysis as a whole in order to further refine the technique. Statement of the Problem L i f e style analysis i s obviously considered a very important therapeutic tool by Adlerians. The focus of research in the past has been from the c l i n i c i a n ' s perspective. In the opinion of this writer L i f e style analysis needs to be understood from the perspective of the individuals with whom i t i s being used. The following questions of this study are addressed to the l i f e s t yle analysis as experienced by i n d i v i d u a l s . Question One: What i s the range of subjective experiences of individuals undergoing a l i f e style analysis? I CHAPTER ONE 15 i Question Two: ! What i s the subjective experience produced in i n d i v i d - duals by various sections of the l i f e style analysis? I Significance of the Study Understanding phenomena Understanding a phenomenon i s valuable in and of i t s e l f ; i t i s necessary before further advances can be made (Valle & King, ! 1978). The purpose of this study i s to understand the phenomenon of the individual's experience of p a r t i c i p a t i n g in a l i f e style analysis. Knowledge of how an i n d i v i d u a l experiences the process w i l l add to the understanding of l i f e style analysis as a whole. It i s ! possible that information garnered by this study w i l l a s s i s t c l i n i c i a n s using the technique, and i t may lead to further devel- opment of the procedure. Research on Non-Students ' Watkin,Jr. (1983) states that the majority of research has focused on students and that there i s a need for Adlerian- ! oriented research on inpatients and outpatients. This study meets this need by using an Adlerian technique with a population of adult c l i e n t s (outpatients) at a mental health center. Research Concerning the Individual Shapiro (1966) presents an argument for studying the individual and claims that there i s far too much emphasis in the l i t e r a t u r e on group research. This study analyzes the exped- iences of eight i n d i v i d u a l s . CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER TWO 16 The purpose of this chapter i s to consider the h i s t o r i c a l focus of l i f e style analysis, and to suggest and explore a focus which has not been considered previously. When developing a l i f e s t yle of an i n d i v i d u a l , important constructs such as family con- s t e l l a t i o n , s o c i a l i n t e r e s t , goal directedness, b i r t h order, and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s are considered. Early r e c o l l e c t i o n s are often used to develop l i f e style independent of family c o n s t e l l a t i o n data. Because they are employed in thi s manner, in reviewing the focus of l i f e style analysis in the l i t e r a t u r e , early r e c o l l e c - tions (as u t i l i z e d by Adlerians) w i l l be discussed. 1911 - 1950 Adler began to publish his ideas in psychology in 1907, and although he did not use the term l i f e style u n t i l 1926 the concept of l i f e style was present from the beginning (Ansbacher, 1967). During this period, the focus of l i f e style analysis was concerned with the development of the technique. Adler developed and used l i f e style analysis with his patients to understand their ideosyncratic personal s t y l e s . He instructed others who were interested in his techniques in i t ' s use. Adler's own method was a spontaneous relaxed style of questioning. Dreikers (1954) reported that Adler claimed he could determine a patient's l i f e style in one hour. His students "stood in awe of his genius" (p . 80). In the 1950's adherents of Adler developed structure out of Adler's s t y l e . Brodsky (1952) discussed the diagnostic impor- CHAPTER TWO 17 tance of early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and, using Adlerian theory, demon- strated interpretation technique. Dreikers (1954) organized the questions and method Adler used into three sections, family c o n s t e l l a t i o n , early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , and conclusions. Ansbacher & Ansbacher (1964) translated Adler's work into English and included the concept of l i f e style and the interpretation of l i f e s t yle from early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Mosak (1958) discussed the use of early r e c o l l e c t i o n s as a projective technique and detailed a method of interpreting early r e c o l l e c t i o n s u t i l i z i n g Adlerian psychology. 1960's In the 1960's in s t r u c t i o n on using the technique was f a c i l i t a t e d by more refinements in the structure of the l i f e s t yle assessment. Research on l i f e style began to appear in the l i t e r a t u r e , and increased toward the end of the decade. During this time the focus in research was on i t s use with s p e c i f i c groups, such as homosexuals (Adler, 1967), schizophrenics (Eisenman, 1965), and the reading disabled (Lieben, 1967). The v a l i d i t y of early r e c o l l e c t i o n s was explored extensively during this time (Hedvig, 1963; Jackson & Sechrest 1962; Mozak 1965; 1969; Ferguson 1964; Wolfman & Freidman 1964; Friedman & S h i f t - man 1962; Holmes & Watson 1965; McCarter, Schiffman, & Tomkins, 1961; Langs 1965, 1967). 1970's In the 1970's interest in teaching the concept of l i f e style increased. Adherents discussed many aspects of the technique. Gushurst (1971) expressed concern that the interpretation of the CHAPTER TWO 18 l i f e style data was l i k e " an act of magic" (p.31) because the method of interpretation was not e x p l i c i t . Therefore he outlined the methods used by c l i n i c a l "experts" and the a b i l i t i e s required to interpret l i f e style data in both the areas of family constel- l a t i o n and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . The following are the methods and s k i l l s he deemed to be involved. The analysis of a family constellation requires four things: f i r s t , a s o l i d and comprehensive f a m i l i a r i t y with the factors that Adlerian theory considers most i n f l u e n t i a l in personality develop- ment, the implications that Adlerians find in certain types of phenomena, and the common l i f e styles i d e n t i f i e d by Adlerians; second, the a b i l i t y to recognize, discover and characterize patterns; t h i r d , the a b i l i t y to compare patterns for the presence of s i m i l a r i t i e s and differences; and fourth, the a b i l i t y to make accurate inferences, either by extrapolation within an already i d e n t i f i e d coherence, or through an i n t u i t i v e , empathic grasp of a pa r t i c u l a r phenomenal world. (Gushurst, 1971, p.32) Early r e c o l l e c t i o n s are interpretated in a similar manner to TAT s t o r i e s . The c l i n i c i a n considers the theme of the ER and then the s p e c i f i c d e t a i l s . The individuals in the r e c o l l e c t i o n s are important in that they provide prototypes for people in general. The c l i n i c i a n searches for the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c outlook of the i n d i v i d u a l using the feelings experienced in the r e c o l - l e c t i o n as an important interpretive indicator. Building hy- potheses, the c l i n i c i a n connects themes and patterns to determine a unifying style (Gushurst, 1971, p. 33). Mosak (1971) contributed a great deal to interpretation when he outlined fourteen common l i f e s t y l e types. These are: Getter, Driver, Controller, Need to be right, Need to be superior, Need to be l i k e d , Need to be good, Opposed to everything, Victim, CHAPTER TWO 19 Martyr, Baby, Inadequate person, Feeling Avoider, and Excitement seeker. Many l i f e styles may take on the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of these fourteen types but are not confined to them. Shulman (1973) in the most indepth discussion to date, elaborated upon Adler's concept of l i f e s t y l e . He addressed the development of l i f e style i n i n d i v i d u a l s , the components, the influencing factors, the functions, the basic mistakes, and the c l i n i c a l uses of the l i f e style analysis. He explains that l i f e s t yle develops out of an individual's need to cope with l i f e in an organized fashion. L i f e Style i s the 'rule of rules' for the i n d i v i d u a l . It i s the cognitive blueprint for behavior which i s required when there i s no i n s t i n c t u a l blueprint. But the L i f e Style i s not merely a c o l l e c t i o n of rules, i t the organization of a l l rules into a pattern which dominates not only the rules but a l l coping a c t i v i t y . (Shulman, 1973, p.17) Infants experiment with their world in a t r i a l and error fashion developing 'rules' to guide them in their daily l i f e . These rules become more and more complex. They develop into a i n t r i c a t e pattern which i s constantly reinforced because i t i s the basis for perceiving experience. Eventually the pattern becomes set as a meta-rule or law for the i n d i v i d u a l , a way to know what i s required in l i f e and how i t can be attained (p.17). In summary Shulman (1973) states: The l i f e style i s a superordinate organizational pattern which directs behavior. By means of selective perception, cognition, memory, etc. i t c o d i f i e s rules for c h a r a c t e r i s t i c a t t i t u d i n a l positions. It becomes the intervening variable between e f f i c i e n t cause and e f f e c t , between the stimulation of the outside world and the respon- sive behavior of the person. It i s formed in early childhood and i s s e l f - r e i n f o r c i n g through CHAPTER TWO 20 s e l e c t i v i t y , It i s self-consistent, coherent, and u n i f i e d . It i s constant; i t does not change from time to time or situation to s i t u a t i o n , though i t i s not necessarily r i g i d . It can be recognized by i t s repeated appearance as a theme in the l i f e history or even everyday behavior of an i n d i v i d u a l . It develops through t r i a l and error and i s influenced by physical, developmental, c u l t u r a l , and f a m i l i a l factors. It i s a necessary rule for coping behavior, to bring order into one's relationshp with the challenging and confronting world. It i s therefore of c r i t i c a l s ignificance to the c l i n i c i a n who wishes to understand the "why?" of human behavior. (Shulman, 1973, p.43-44) Other adherents discussed l i f e style analysis during this period as well. Lombardi (1973), discussed eight d i f f e r e n t ways to know and learn about the l i f e s t y l e . Eckstein et a l . (1977) define l i f e style analysis, i t s components and outline the technique. Baruth and Eckstein (1978) further elaborated on the theory and practice of l i f e s t yle analysis. The 1970's brought a new focus on research into the tech- nique of l i f e style analysis. As more people interested in Adlerian psychology entered graduate school, research on l i f e s tyle analysis and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s increased greatly. Previously there had been d i f f i c u l t y researching Adler's theory because the constructs had not been operationalized. Gushurst (1971) stated that "as long as this technique remains mysterious and i n e x p l i c i t , the door i s l e f t open for both ungoverned sub- j e c t i v i t y and for the c r i t i c i s m of non-replicable u n s c i e n t i f i c procedures" (p.31). He also pointed out that the v a l i d i t y of l i f e style analysis was s t i l l open to question. He suggested methods which could be used to validate l i f e style analysis such as assessing the technique CHAPTER TWO 21 in r e l a t i o n to either a particular use (such as screening police candidates, or d i f f e r - entiating between successful and non-successful bank managers), or through comparison with another assessment procedure (such as an MMPI, a Rorschach, or ratings by peers) (Gushurst, 1971, p.37). In response, some instruments have been developed which enable research to be conducted with l i f e style analysis and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Altman (1973) developed the Early Recollection Rating Scale (ERRS). This instument consists of a bi-polar seven-point scale developed to obtain a rating on dimensions of so c i a l i n t e r e s t . West & Bubenzer (1978) developed a s e l f - administering l i f e style protocol (SALSI). This instument was developed to standardize the c o l l e c t i o n of l i f e style data in written form by the subject for research purposes. Kern (1976) developed the L i f e Style Questionnaire Inventory (LSQI). This protocol also standardizes the c o l l e c t i o n of l i f e style data for research purposes. Many studies conducted during this time point to the v a l i d i t y of Adlerian concepts of b i r t h order, early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and l i f e s t y l e . Neild, Ward, and Edgar (1977) validated Adler's concept of psychological b i r t h order. Eckstein (1976) validated that changes do occur in early r e c o l l e c t i o n s after counselling. This s i g n i f i e s that attitudes and behaviors can change and that ERs are related to current l i f e philosophies. Taylor (1975) found further support for ERs as a projective technique. Magner- Harris, Riordan, Kern, & Curlette (1979) and Magner-Harris, Riordan, and Kern (1981) found interjudge r e l i a b i l i t y of the LSQI to be moderately high indicating v a l i d i t y for the l i f e style CHAPTER TWO 22 construct and support for Adlerian theory on personality types. West and Bubenzer (1978), using factor analysis, found added construct v a l i d i t y for Adlerian l i f e style theory. They d i s - cerned factors from information collected using a l i f e style inventory (SALSI) which relate to Adlerian constructs. Watkins (1983), in examining the research during this decade that supports Adlerian psychology, concluded that research on l i f e style and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s has increased but i s s t i l l somewhat limited. Another focus of research during the 1970's was to develop new methods of gathering l i f e style data and of presenting l i f e style interpretations to c l i e n t s . Various methods for the presentation of interpretations have been developed which include drawing (Kvols-Reidler & Kvols-Reidler, 1978), drama (Colker & Funk, 1978), rewriting early r e c o l l e c t i o n s ( W i l l h i t e , 1978), story t e l l i n g (Schnebly, 1981), using the ideal s e l f (Rule,1982), and constructing a visual representation (Farnham & Chase, 1982). 1980's Research in the 1980's i s continuing to validate the constructs of Adlerian theory. The need for further validation of the l i f e style construct i s pointed out by Gentry, Winer, Sig.elman, & P h i l l i p s (1980) The Adlerian concept of l i f e style has survived a history of diverse d e f i n i t i o n s , methods of assessment, and c l a s s i f i c a t i o n schemes, resulting in the development of a construct which despite i t s appeal and usefulness has yet to be f u l l y standardized or o b j e c t i f i e d , (p.85) The research of l i f e style and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s during CHAPTER TWO 23 t h i s decade i s p r o v i d i n g t h i s needed v a l i d a t i o n (Warren 1982; H a f n e r , E b r a h i m , F a k o u r i , & L a b r e n t z 1982; L e w i s 1983; and B i c h e k a s & Newlon 1982). L i f e s t y l e f r o m the p o i n t of view o f t h e c l i e n t I t has been i m p o r t a n t t o u n d e r s t a n d , l e a r n , and v a l i d a t e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s i n o r d e r t h a t c l i n i c i a n s c an e f f e c t i v e l y u t i l i z e i t w i t h t h e i r c l i e n t s and t o f a c i l i t a t e f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h . A l s o , s t a n d a r d i z e d methods o f c o l l e c t i n g t h e d a t a a r e n e c e s s a r y f o r r e s e a r c h p u r p o s e s . T h e r e has n e v e r been r e s e a r c h on t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f t h e s u b j e c t on whom t h e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s i s u s e d . T h i s w r i t e r b e l i e v e s i t i s i m p o r t a n t t o u n d e r s t a n d t h e t e c h n i q u e from t h e c l i e n t ' s p o i n t o f view f o r two r e a s o n s . F i r s t , c l i n i c i a n s l e a r n i n g and u t i l i z i n g t h e t e c h n i q u e can be made aware of p o s s i b l e r e a c t i o n s and r e s p o n s e s of c l i e n t s w h i c h may be used as an a d j u n c t d u r i n g t h e p r o c e s s . Second, knowledge o f t h e c l i e n t s ' e x p e r i e n c e s w i l l add t o t h e e x i s t i n g knowledge o f l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s and w i l l g u i d e d e v e l o p m e n t of t h e t e c h n i q u e . I n f o r m a t i o n i n t h e l i t e r a t u r e a bout t h e c l i e n t ' s e x p e r i e n c e of t h e l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s i s o n l y a n e c d o t a l . E x p e r i e n c e s o f l i f e s t y l e components, s u c h as f a m i l y c o n s t e l l a t i o n and e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s , a r e d i s c u s s e d a l o n g w i t h t h o s e o f t h e t e c h n i q u e as a whole . I n d i v i d u a l s have had s t r o n g r e s p o n s e s w h i l e u n d e r g o i n g a l i f e s t y l e a n a l y s i s and w h i l e g i v i n g e a r l y r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Wexburg (1929) d i s c u s s e d t h e r e a c t i o n of t h e p a t i e n t t o h a v i n g h i s or c h i l d h o o d s i t u a t i o n r e c o n s t r u c t e d . CHAPTER TWO 24 Not always, c e r t a i n l y , but at least sometimes-- the patient leaves the f i r s t i n d i vidual psych- ol o g i c a l consultation shaken to the depths and with the feeling that he has arrived at a turning point. And this by no means through an unctuous sermon, but through a few quiet matter- of-fact words, which however go straight to the j center of his being, (p.54) In a case study of a l i f e style analysis reported by Manaster & Corsini (1982) a c l i e n t c r i e s , covers his face, and c a l l s out for his father while r e l a t i n g a r e c o l l e c t i o n (p.274). Another c l i e n t cried, and spontaneously reported f e e l i n g nauseous and disgusted during the re l a t i n g of an ER (Barrett 1981). 'Jane', the third personality of 'Eve White and Eve Black', emerged while a r e c o l - l e c t i o n was being related (Osgood 1976). Niederland (1965) reports two cases where the discussion of early experiences | brought about dramatic therapeutic results in patients. These i examples demonstrate that undergoing a l i f e style analysis and rel a t i n g early r e c o l l e c t i o n s can be a powerful experience for an in d i v i d u a l . i Having l i f e style data interpreted can also be a powerful experience. In a case study cited previously, Manaster & Corsini (1982) report the following response of the c l i e n t to an i n t e r - pretation of a r e c o l l e c t i o n during a l i f e style analysis: Client stops talking, closes his eyes, and some sort of internal struggle seems to be going on. Therapist waits, thinking perhaps c l i e n t w i l l cry again, but he does not. (p.277) Twice this c l i e n t spontaneously remarked "This i s heavy s t u f f " while responding to interpretations of rec o l l e c t i o n s (pp.277- 278). Ackerknecht (1976) reports the response of a c l i e n t to an interpretation. CHAPTER TWO 25 The subject then showed a clear recognition reflex and began to substantiate this hypothesis seeing his early l i f e now in a completely new light.(p.53) The reactions and responses of c l i e n t s that have been of most interest to c l i n i c i a n s are those which indicate to c l i n i - cians that their interpretations are correct. These responses are termed 'recognition reflexes'. Manaster & Corsini (1982) state that The reflex i s useful for both the therapist and the c l i e n t . It i s a clear sign that the therapist's statement and interpretation h i t the mark. By pointing the reflex reaction out to c l i e n t s , the therapist can i l l u s t r a t e how deeply understood this fact i s for the patient, (p. 206) Because the responses and reactions of the c l i e n t s are important to the c l i n i c i a n s to determine the correctness of their interpre- tations, they are often reported, however, only in an ancedotal manner. Papanek (1972) reports a case in which the 'interpreta- tion of one ER brought immediate r e l i e f ' (p.172), and another interpretation which made a c l i e n t 'very happy' (p.175). McKelvie (1979) c i t e s a case in which a c l i e n t responded dramatically to a disclosure but he does not describe the response (p.250). McAbee & McAbee (1979) report a case in which a c l i e n t 'confirmed the assessments both in her recognition reflexes and verbally' (p. 147). In a demonstation of a l i f e style assessment, Mosak (1972), describes body language which, to him, confirmed his interpretations: If you could see Ann as I see her from this position, you would have seen the glimmer of a recognition reflex when I mention 'always t r i e d to please parents' (p.201) CHAPTER TWO 26 Ann i s now nodding her head (p.202). Ann nods and burst out laughing in confirm- ation (p. 202) W i l l h i t e (1978), working with his method of early r e c o l l e c - tion analysis, reports "the c l i e n t nearly always responds to t h i s (interpretation) with a r e c o g n i t i o n — t h a t 'Aha' response which i s a prelude to opening up to insight and change" (p.149). These statements focus on the reaction or the response of the c l i e n t as i t relates to the correctness of the c l i n i c i a n s ' i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . Obviously responses and reactions are very important i n Adlerian psychology yet c l i n i c i a n s or researchers have shown no interest in the subjective i n t e r n a l experiences involved i n the recognition r e f l e x . While the recognition reflex i s an i n t e r e s t i n g phenomenon and needs to be examined from the individual's perspective, i t i s also important that reactions and responses of the i n d i v i d u a l to a l l aspects of the l i f e style analysis procedure be explored and examined in order to under- stand the impact the technique has on the individual since impor- tant responses may have been ignored. Thus, this study explores a l l the reactions and responses of the i n d i v i d u a l to the l i f e s t yle analysis procedure and does not attempt to distinguish among recognition reflexes and other responses and reactions. As mentioned previously numerous methods of conducting l i f e style analysis and presenting interpretations have been deve- loped. Some of the reasons given for such development are consi- derations for the c l i e n t s and the possible reactions they might have to the procedure. Rule (1982) states there i s "confronta- tion inherent in the usual interpretative approach" and offers CHAPTER TWO 27 his alternative method as a way for the confrontation "to be expressed in a more i n d i r e c t , and perhaps for some c l i e n t s , in a more thought provoking manner" (p.338). For similar reasons Schnebly (1981) offers his short story form of presenting i n t e r - pretations as 'an e f f e c t i v e method of presenting a c l i e n t ' s b e l i e f sytem in an in t e r e s t i n g , i n s i g h t f u l , and non-threatening way" (p.7). From this i t i s apparent that c l i n i t i a n s are sensi- tiv e to the negative reactions and responses of c l i e n t s and attempt to minimize them. This writer believes that further knowledge of c l i e n t s ' experiences w i l l aid in the development of the technique. Methods of Ascertaining the Individual's Experiences An individual's reactions can be both obserable and unobservable. Because many events are often unobservable s e l f - report i s one method that must be r e l i e d upon. One obvious method of self-report i s to ask the c l i e n t s about their experi- ences during the events. Rogers (1951) used this technique when he examined verbatim statements made by c l i e n t s about their experiences of therapy. Another method of self-report i s the semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l (SD) which provides quantitative data. The SD " i s a method of observing and measuring the psychological meaning of things, usually concepts." (Kerlinger, 1964, p.564). Due to the ideographic nature of l i f e s tyle the case study format i s a method which lends i t s e l f well to ascertaining the individual's experiences. Research using the case study format i s given strong support in the l i t e r a t u r e . Shapiro (1966) claims that individual-centered research i s necessary for advances to be CHAPTER TWO 28 made in the experimental investigation of processes, and that i t can produce meaningful and rep l i c a b l e results (p. 19). Kazdin (1981) states that case studies can be made replicable by em- ploying quantitative measures in the design. The greatest draw- back of the single case study are threats to inter n a l v a l i d i t y . Kazdin (1981) discusses several methods of design, which control for threats to inter n a l v a l i d i t y , one of which i s using several case studies. Exploring i n d i v i d u a l s ' experiences during the course of treatment can affe c t the treatment. Cochran (1981) u t i l i z e d a method of monitoring unobservable events in individuals which does not int e r f e r e with their experiences. Following treatment the subjects' memories are cued back to s p e c i f i c sections of the treatment and are asked about their experiences during each sec- t i o n . In this way, unobservable events are made e x p l i c i t without interference. Methods which do not involve s e l f - r e p o r t , such as observing and measuring the physiological responses of the subject, are considered beyond the scope of this study. Summary In this chapter l i f e style analysis in the l i t e r a t u r e has been considered. The development of the technique by Alfred Adler and his adherents was outlined. L i f e style as a construct was explored. It was found that although l i f e style i s con- sidered a va l i d and r e l i a b l e construct further validation i s warrented. To date, the focus of the technique has been from the c l i n i c i a n ' s perspective whereas l i f e style analysis from the CHAPTER TWO 29 individual's perspective has been ignored. This points to a need for knowledge of the individual's experiences while undergoing a l i f e style analysis. As the focus of this study i s from th i s perspective, methods that have been used in research to ascertain information from the i n d i v i d u a l , were outlined. Chapter Three outlines the methodology for this study. CHAPTER THREE 30 CHAPTER 3 METHODOLOGY Design Subjects participated in a l i f e style analysis with the i n - vestigator on an indi v i d u a l basis. The procedure was conducted in two sessions which were held a week apart. In the f i r s t ses- sion baseline data was collected by asking subjects to rate,using a semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l (SD), their experiences while watching a range of movies. Then the data c o l l e c t i o n sections of the l i f e s tyle analysis sections were carried out uninterrupted. Subjects memories were then cued back to each section using the cued memory technique. After the cuing of each section questions were posed regarding the subject's experiences and a semantic d i f f e r - e n t i a l form was completed. After one week the subjects and the investigator worked together toward an interpretation of the data. At the completion of the interpretation the subjects were again asked questions regarding their experiences and completed an SD form. The design employed in this study uses the case study format. This method was chosen because i t enables in-depth know- ledge of the indi v i d u a l to be obtained. It can also bring to l i g h t information regarding the effects of treatment which can approximate that of experimental studies (Kazdin 1981). Both qua l i t a t i v e and quantitative data were obtained. Qualitative data were obtained by asking questions regarding the subjective experiences of the subjects. The questions are mainly open-ended in format. Quantitative data were obtained by employing a seman- CHAPTER THREE 31 t i c d i f f e r e n t i a l (SD). Baseline data and data regarding the sub- j e c t s ' experiences were collected using the SD. In order to study the experiences of the subject with mimimal interference with the l i f e style analysis technique, the cued memory technique was employed (Cochran 1981). The goals of thi s study were f i r s t , to explore the range of subjective experiences of individual's undergoing a l i f e style analysis, and second to ascertain the subjective experiences produced by various parts of the l i f e style analysis. The case study format i s considered advantageous to meet these goals. From these findings hypotheses can be generated for future research. Subjects The subjects involved in this study were c l i e n t s currently in therapy at a mental health c l i n i c . They are adults ranging in age from 25 to 48 with a mean age of 33.0. The sample consists of six women and two men with two of the individuals forming a married couple. The length of therapy prior to p a r t i c i p a t i o n in the l i f e style analysis ranged from 6 to 33 months, with a mean of 20.1 months. A l l of the female subjects had also been i n v o l - ved in group counselling for issues such as incest, depression, and/or l i f e planning. To r e c r u i t subjects,the investigator met with the therapists at the c l i n i c and informed them of the research project. They were given typed information concerning the project (See Appendix A). Therapists informed their c l i e n t s of the project and i f they were interested they were told they could ask the receptionist to arrange an appointment with the investigator. Subjects were CHAPTER THREE 32 assured that i f they wish to withdraw from the project, their counselling at the c l i n i c would not be affected in any way. The investigator contacted the subjects by telephone and arranged an appointment for the f i r s t session. Instrumentation The L i f e Style Interview Guide (Appendix D) i s styled after the protocol in Baruth & Eckstein (1978, pp. 145 - 148). The guide was used with two minor modifications. F i r s t , in the section regarding s i b l i n g s , the question 'What was your family motto?' was changed to 'If you got a strong message from your family as you were growing up, what would that message say?' From experience the investigator found c l i e n t s had d i f f i c u l t y answering this question in i t s o r i g i n a l form. Clients easily answered the rephrased version. The second modification was in the section regarding early r e c o l l e c t i o n s (ERs). After each ER was e l i c i t e d the subject was asked, 'What was the most v i v i d part of the r e c o l l e c t i o n ? ' . Manaster & Corsini (1982) give i n s t r u c - tions to ask 'What i s the clearest in this memory—what stands out?' (p.187). No reason i s given for asking t h i s question. In the investigator's opinion this question e l i c i t s the individual's focus of the r e c o l l e c t i o n and thus indicates interpretive clues. Semantic D i f f e r e n t i a l Rating Sheet (See Appendix E ) A semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l (SD) using a seven point scale was constructed employing 12 pairs of bi-polar adjectives from a l i s t of 50 empirically substantiated items (Snider & Osgood, 1969, p.52). Snider & Osgood (1969) use three major dimensions to de- CHAPTER THREE 33 fine semantic space: a c t i v i t y , potency, and evaluative. Adjec- tives pairs have a high factor loading in one of the dimensions. To cover a subject's semantic space on the three major dimen- sions, four adjective pairs were chosen from each one. The adjectives were chosen by the researcher based on their s u i t a - b i l i t y to represent the individual's experiences on a l l three dimensions. Table 1 Dimensions of Meaning Dimension Bi-polar Adjective pairs A c t i v i t y active/passive; hot/cold; dull/sharp; fast/slow. Potency heavy/light; strong/weak; delicate/rugged; small/large. Evaluative good/bad; happy/sad; f a i r / u n f a i r ; calm/agitated. The order of the items was randomly selected. One half of the items were randomly reversed to quard against a subject responding to the SD in a rote manner. Baseline Data Subjects were asked to think of movies which they had seen in each of seven categories; most personally meaningful, best, worst, run-of-the-mill, pleasant, most frightening, and most exciting. If the subjects had any d i f f i c u l t y thinking of a movie for any catagory they were offered a l i s t of 400 movies. The l i s t had been obtained from a l o c a l video store and was offered as a prompt of movie t i t l e s . The subjects thought of movies which they had seen and chose one which to them f i t one category CHAPTER THREE 34 and then rated i t using the SD rating sheet. They were allowed to rate the movies in any order they chose. Subjects had d i f f i - culty finding movies which represented 'most' of a catagory. Thus they were allowed to choose movies which represented per- ponally meaningful, frightening, and exciting. None of the sub- jects had d i f f i c u l t y finding a movie for each category. The scores from the sections of the l i f e style analysis were compared to the scores of the movies for s i m i l a r i t i e s and d i f f e r - ences. The scores were also used to compute the linear distance between sections of the l i f e style analysis and the movies. Scores were also compared across subjects. Assumptions Ratings and scores of the l i f e style analysis which are close to a s p e c i f i c movie w i l l be assumed to represent the quality of experience of that movie. For example, ratings and scores which are close to a personally meaningful movie, w i l l re- present a personally meaningful experience. Subjects' r e c o l l e c t i o n s of their experiences w i l l match those experiences. Subjects w i l l be aware of and able to describe their bodily sensations during the l i f e style analysis. C o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e style data The L i f e Style Interview Guide (Appendix D) with the two previously mentioned modifications was used to c o l l e c t the data. Section on Siblings and s e l f The subjects were asked to describe their s i b l i n g s in order CHAPTER THREE 35 from oldest to youngest with the age difference from the subjects noted in years with a (+) or a (-) to indicate the age older or younger than the subjects. For example, subject number one, Amy was 27 and her brothers were +18 months and +4 years. In describing the personalities of the si b l i n g s and s e l f , short phrases or adjectives were e l i c i t e d . The questions following the description of the si b l i n g s and se l f were asked as they were written in the interview guide with the previous noted change. The subjects were then asked to compare themselves to their s i b l i n g s in regard to various c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . The subjects were asked which c h i l d in the family was 'most' in a particular char- a c t e r i s t i c and which c h i l d was 'least' in each c h a r a c t e r i s t i c . If the subjects did not name themselves they were asked to which extreme they would put themselves closest and an arrow was added to indicate the di r e c t i o n , closest to most or closest to l e a s t . Example: from Hal (Subject 8) Char a c t e r i s t i c : Most Least I n t e l l i g e n t John Hal Hardest worker John Hal > Bob Best grades in school Hal John Section on Parents The subjects were asked the questions concerning their parents as they appeared in the interview guide. Again they were asked for short phrases or adjectives to describe the personality of their parents. Section on Early Recollections The subjects were asked for s p e c i f i c one time incidents that CHAPTER THREE 36 they remembered which happened prior to the age of eight. C l a r i f i c a t i o n was given in order to distinguish a r e c o l l e c t i o n from a report. After the subjects had related each r e c o l l e c t i o n they were asked to i d e n t i f y the most v i v i d part of the r e c o l l e c - tion and the feeling that accompanied this part. Developing the Interpretation Family Constellation Interpretations were developed according to the guidelines by Eckstein et al.(1977) with some modifications. The i n v e s t i - gator developed an interpretation by imagining what i t would be l i k e to be born into this family and l i v e in i t during the early years (from 0 to 6). The child's b i r t h order was considered along with the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of the s i b l i n g s , s e l f , parents, and any other parental figures. Early Recollections (ERs) The investigator used the headline technique (Eckstein et al.1977), drawing a theme from each r e c o l l e c t i o n and childhood dream. The themes from the ERs were considered for l i f e - o t h e r s - s e l f attitudes. S i m i l a r i t i e s and differences were noted among the themes. The ERs were considered as metaphors for l i f e (Kopp & Dinkmeyer 1975) . The investigator attempted to find a metaphor for each subject's s e l f within each set of metaphors. For example, for Amy the metaphor of a f i r e hydrant was used, describing her as a person with powerful emotions which are kept capped. For Ginny, the metaphor of a discarded toy panda bear described her as an CHAPTER THREE 37 object abandoned by everyone; parents, grandparents, and s i b l i n g s . The l i f e - o t h e r s - s e l f attitudes from the ERs, dreams and metaphors were then related to the family constellation data. A summary paragraph of disclosure statements was not shared with the subject as the investigator had not found this to be ef f e c t i v e during previous interpretations. Presenting the Interpretation to the Subject The investigator prefaced the interpretation with a reminder of what i s involved in an interpretation process. Before we start I want to just remind you of what's involved in an interpretation—what i t i s and what i t i s n ' t . It's not a question of my giving you an interpretation and saying- this i s how you are, but what I do i s I look at the data and I come up with some ideas about how I think YOU think you are. So i t ' s not what I think of you. It's what I think you think of yourself, other people, and l i f e . I come up with the ideas and I see i f they f i t with you and i f they f i t then you'll know that, because (pause) they f i t . And i f they don't i t means that either I'm wrong or that maybe I haven't said i t in a way that f i t s for you. I may be just off track a b i t . OK. So I want you to know very much that I'm not trying to 'lay' an i n t e r - pretation on you. (transcribed from Donna.) Then the investigator presented her guesses in a gentle tentative way which l e f t plenty of opportunity for subject comment and correction. She began with a description of the sub- ject's family c o n s t e l l a t i o n . You had so many s i b l i n g s , so I see you as a baby born into this crowd (pause) with parents--father who i s r i g i d and distant. But with your father I get the sense that you at least knew about him-- at least had some idea about him and who he was and his role as a male, a man, a father. And your mother was very domineering and s h i f t i n g from lenient to domineering—confusing. And so you came into the world CHAPTER THREE 38 with a mother that you couldn't know about—you were confused about her role as the mother and womenhood, cuz she represented womenhood to you. So you tended to id e n t i f y with your father. And I also have the idea that here was a very i n t e l l i g e n t l i t t l e g i r l born into this crowd, but i t was such a crowd that nobody knew that you were i n t e l l i g e n t and nobody acknowledged that about you—that you were i n t e l l i g e n t and (pause) could accomplish t h i n g s — c o u l d do things. Every- body else was doing things and they tended to ignore you. And so, nobody acknowledged that about you. And another aspect with your s i b l i n g s that struck me, was there were a l o t of extremes mentioned when you described them. I just want to pick them out to show you what you were dealing with. Imagine a l i t t l e g i r l born into a family with s i b l i n g s that are described a s — (Investigator reading from LSIG) --very intense, strong-willed, very h e l p f u l , hard worker, quite a tough guy, very family concerned, You've got s i b l i n g s who are very whatever they are but they are 'very'. What does that do with a l i t t l e g i r l who's coming in and sort of l i k e a blank slate to start with and she's got to make her way in this crowd of 'verys'. Do you see what you had to deal with? Following the description of the family c o n s t e l l a t i o n the investigator shared themes from the re c o l l e c t i o n s with the subject and discussed them. What I noticed about your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s was that there were none about your family; none about your parents or s i b l i n g s . So what that t e l l s me i s that you didn't get what you needed in your family; any acknowledgement. I have the impression that your ~~ feelings weren't acknowledged either so you got to school and I wonder i f maybe you thought well here's an area where I ' l l get some acknowledgement. Like the r e c o l l e c t i o n of you drawing the picture. What I've done with those i s come up with a theme. I see the re c o l l e c t i o n as a metaphor and i t ' s not the facts that are so important but the picture that i t presents. So the theme would be—here's a g i r l proud of her accomplishment but doesn't receive any recognition for i t . And I wondered i f you got to school and f i n a l l y thought here's a place where I'm going to get some acknowledgement of my accomplishments and i t DIDN'T happen for you,(pause) and that's why i t was such a big disappointment. Is that f i t t i n g ? (Donna, "Probably, yeah.) And as a result of not getting i t at school, you got through your early childhood without that and then you got to school and didn't get that acknowledgement of CHAPTER THREE 39 either your feelings or your accomplishments, your a b i l i t y , you began to r e a l l y doubt i t yourself. (Donna, "Um hum") and tended not to believe in your own accomplishments anymore even though you were i n t e l l i g e n t . Donna, "Yes, cuz I remember..." Donna continues talking about how and when she gave up at school. It seemed to you that you weren't getting any recognition. And I would guess that after a while i f you did get any recognition that you would discount i t (Donna, "Um hum") somehow, someway. (Donna, "Yeah.") Does that f i t in now with your l i f e ? Donna, "Yeah." (Laughter) The Investigator and Donna continue to discuss. Procedure and Data Col l e c t i o n The l i f e style analysis was conducted in two 2 hour sessions and was divided into four sections for research purposes. Section 1: Questions concerning s i b l i n g s , friends, s e l f . Section 2: Questions concerning parents, their relationship to each other, and their relationship to their children. Section 3 - Early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and childhood dreams. Section 4 - The interpretation process. The f i r s t session consisted of sections 1 to 3 while the second session consisted of section 4. The sessions took place at the mental health c l i n i c in regular counselling rooms and were audio-taped. Only the inves- tigator and the subject were present during the data c o l l e c t i o n and i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . For the two subjects who experienced strong emotions during the sessions, their therapists were asked to come CHAPTER THREE 40 in during the l a t t e r part of the session and they remained for. approximately one half hour. Session 1: The interview began by the investigator reading and explaining the consent form (Appendix A). Then the baseline data was co l l e c t e d . Following this the subjects were asked the questions in the L i f e Style Interview Guide in i t s entirety. The investigator made a concerted e f f o r t to record the subjects' responses verbatim. After the taking of the l i f e s tyle data the investigator cued the subjects' memories back to each section using their own words. Questions were then asked regarding their experiences. For example, the cueing for Fiona concerning the section on s i b l i n g s was as follows: I'm going to remind you of d i f f e r e n t sections and what we talked about, and then I ' l l ask you some questions. The f i r s t part we talked about was when you gave the informaton about you and your s i s t e r . You talked about your s i s t e r Mary who i s two years older than you. You described her as being more competent than yourself, outgoing, a person who feels she has to be l i k e d , very emotional, was a perfec- t i o n i s t — i s a p e r f e c t i o n s i s t . You described her as the stronger of you two and that was more of a stress on her to have to play that r o l e , and the more dominating one of the two. Then you described your- s e l f ; that you t r i e d to be a p e r f e c t i o n i s t , at times you were insecure, emotional, you have a deep desire for l i f e , love to f e e l that you're worth something, a b i t hard on yourself, and try to look for the humor in l i f e . You l i k e to f e e l you're not a burden to anyone, f e e l g u i l t y by taking from anyone. At times you have a l o t of anger, self-destructive nature at times, a f r a i d of be controlled, and you're r e l i g i o u s to a b e n e f i c i a l point but not to the point where i t becomes control. You described your s i s t e r as dif f e r e n t from you-- as more outgoing, twenty pounds heavier and more confident than yourself. She's l i k e you in that you're in touch with people, se l f - d e s t r u c t i v e , p e r f e c t i o n i s t i c , look for the deeper side of l i f e in people, appearance oriented, and try to prove yourself. Then I asked you about some c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . Had you compare the two of you in certain c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . (Transcribed from Fiona) CHAPTER THREE 41 This completed the cueing for section 1. The research questions were then asked. The following questions were asked in a gentle, caring manner. 1. As you were talking about your ( s i b l i n g s and yourself) how engrossed or detached were you ? 2. What feelings did you experience? 3. Did you have any physical sensations? If so where in your body did you experience them? 4. Did you have any thoughts or insights? Following these questions the subjects were asked to rate the pa r t i c u l a r section using the SD rating sheet. This procedure was repeated for Sections 2 and 3. For Section 2 subjects were asked to rate their mother and father separately as well as both parents together, as relationships with each parent can be t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t . This concluded the f i r s t session and an appointment was made for the second session. Between Sessions During the week the investigator worked on the data to develop an int e r p r e t a t i o n . One exception to this procedure was with Fiona who experienced a dramatic response during the taking of the ERs in session one. The investigator began the interpre- tation process during this session to help her deal with the material which was causing her d i s t r e s s . Session 2 The session began with the following questions: CHAPTER THREE 42 1. It's been one week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session? 2. Today we are going to work together to come up with an interpretation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that? After asking these questions the investigator worked with the subject toward an int e r p r e t a t i o n . The investigator shared her process in developing the interpretation with the subject. F i r s t , the family c o n s t e l l a t i o n was discussed. The i n v e s t i - gator imagined what i t must have been l i k e for the subject to grow up in this family and shared her impressions with the subject. Then the theme from each ER and recurring dream was shared and discussed with the subject. Using very tentative language, the investigator shared her guesses about l i f e - o t h e r s - s e l f attitudes the subject might have developed. The attitudes were discussed f i r s t in the past as ways of making sense out of their childhood environment and coping with i t , and then as ways of perceiving and coping with their current l i f e s i t u a t i o n s . S i m i l a r i t i e s and differences among a l l the material were shared with the subject. Metaphors that arose out of the ERs, dreams, and/or interpretation process were discussed. When the interpretation was concluded the subjects were asked the questions about their experiences while going through that process and then given the SD rating sheet to complete. Cueing was not necessary at t h i s point because the subject had just completed the interpretation process. After the fourth CHAPTER THREE 43 subject the interpretation process flowed more e a s i l y . This concluded the second and f i n a l session. The subjects continued in therapy with their regular therapists. Six months la t e r the subjects' therapists were asked to give reports on what the l i f e style analysis meant to their c l i e n t s from the therapists' perspective. Data Analysis The data obtained from the semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l was ana- lyzed in two ways. F i r s t , the ratings on the three dimensions ( a c t i v i t y , potency, and evaluative) of each section of the l i f e s t yle analysis were compared to each movie. Second, using the ratings on the three dimensions, the linear distance between the sections of the l i f e style analysis and the movies was determined and analyzed. The semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l i s considered to have face v a l i d i t y . The semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l rating sheets were scored by assigning a score of 7 to the f i r s t named adjective of the adjective pairs, and giving scores down to 1 for the l a s t named adjective. It should be noted that one half of the adjective pairs were reversed. eg. happy 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 sad cold 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 hot Scores range from 1 to 7 for each bi-polar item. A score of 1 i s a low score and indicates one extreme, for example very cold. A score of 4 indicates a neutral rating, for example neither hot nor cold. A score of 7 i s a high rating, for example very hot. CHAPTER THREE 44 The ratings for the bi-polar items were added together and then averaged to give a score for each of the three major dimensions. These scores form Table A for each subject. The possible range of scores i s 1 through 7. (See Appendix E for sample scoring.) Scores ranging from 6 to 7 indicated that the subject f e l t very; hot, active, sharp, and fast in a c t i v i t y ; heavy, strong, rugged, and large i n potency; f a i r , happy, good, and calm in evaluative. Lower scores 1 to 2 indicated a strong reaction on the opposite pole, very; cold, passive, d u l l , and slow in a c t i v i t y ; l i g h t , weak, delicate, and small in potency; unfair, unhappy, bad, and agitated in evaluative. Scores ranging from 2.25 to 5.75 indicate mild or neutral reactions: 2.25 - 3.5 mild (adjectives toward the negative pole) 3.75 - 4.25 neutral (example: neither hot nor cold) 4.5 - 5.75 mild (adjectives toward the positive pole) Ratings for each section of the l i f e style analysis were compared to each movie rating. The c r i t e r i a for comparison were determined a r b i t r a r i l y . Table 2 C r i t e r i a for Comparison of L i f e Style Sections and Movie Ratings Difference of 0 : i d e n t i c a l rating in the factor. concepts considered very close in meaning. Difference of.25 -.5 : ratings of concepts were consi- dered close in meaning. CHAPTER THREE 45 Difference of .75 - 1.0 : ratings of concepts were consi- dered somewhat close in meaning. Difference of more than 1.0 : ratings of concepts not considered close in meaning. Linear Distance Analysis To determine concepts which are close in meaning the D S t a t i s t i c (Kerlinger, 1964, p.573) was employed. See Appendix F for sample analysis. I . D = i d 2 i j ' i j D = the linear distance between any two concepts, i and j . d = the algebraic difference between any two coordinates of i and j on the same factor ( a c t i v i t y , potency, and evaluative) The linear distance between each section of the l i f e style analysis and each movie was computed according to the above formula. The score was rounded off to the nearest tenth. These scores form Table B for each subject. The smaller the distance between any two concepts the closer i n meaning they are. Con- versely,the greater the distance between two concepts the furthe apart in meaning they are. The possible range of scores i s 0 to 20.8. For example, for C a r l , the D score of his personally mean ing f u l movie and the interpretation section i s 2.0 units, which indicates that these experiences are very similar in meaning for him. The D score for his worst movie and the interpretation i s 16.6 units, which indicates that the interpretation was not at a l l a l ike in meaning to watching his worst movie. The following c r i t e r i a were determined a r b i t r a r i l y to des- cribe the data: CHAPTER THREE 46 Table 3 Linear Distance Measures Average Difference Square root of t o t a l 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 20.8 Very unlike 17.3 13.9 10.4 6.9 Moderately similar 3.5 Similar 0 Very Similar D e f i n i t i o n of Terms ^ A c t i v i t y : One major dimension of a semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l which accesses the a c t i v i t y an ind i v i d u a l feels when rating a concept. Bi r t h order: The chronological order of s i b l i n g births in a family. Cued memory technique: Cuing or prompting the subject's memory back to a s p e c i f i c time in order to c o l l e c t information from the subject about that time. Early r e c o l l e c t i o n (ER): A s p e c i f i c one-time incident remembered from childhood, preferably prior to the age of eight, which i s remembered cl e a r l y and i n d e t a i l , with vis u a l r e c a l l , and including thoughts and feelings at the time of the incident (Gushurst, One major dimension of a semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l which accesses the evaluation an ind i v i d u a l makes about a concept. 1971, p.99). Evaluative: CHAPTER THREE 47 Insight : Self-knowledge which i s new. L i f e style : The concept developed by Alfred Adler which accesses the way in which an ind i v i d u a l operates in l i f e , based on his attitudes toward l i f e , other people, and himself or herself. L i f e style analysis: The c o l l e c t i o n and interpretation of l i f e style data. L i f e style data: The data collected from an ind i v i d u a l concerning his or her family c o n s t e l l a t i o n , early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and childhood dreams. Potency: One major dimension of a semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l which accesses the potency or strength an individual feels when rating a concept. Semantic D i f f e r e n t i a l : A measuring tool which accesses subjective meaning of concepts and enables comparison of meaning to be made. Subjective experiences: The thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations of the i n d i v i d u a l . CHAPTER FOUR 48 CHAPTER FOUR RESULTS Preface The eight case studies are presented. F i c t i t i o u s names are given to each subject and his or her si b l i n g s and spouse to provide for anonymity. The names are ordered alphabetically; the name of the subject in case study number one begins with A. The following i s an outline of the sequence of presentation for each subject: 1. Demographic data. 2. Presentation of s e l f as perceived by the Investigator. 3. Family c o n s t e l l a t i o n . 4. The l i f e style summary statements formulated by the therapist from the l i f e style data. 5. Reactions and responses of the subject to each of the four sections of the l i f e style analysis. a) Investigator's description of the subject's responses. b) Summary of the subject's verbal description of his or her reactions and responses to each section. Many verbatim quotations are included. 6. The reactions and thoughts of the subject between sessions. The results of this section are presented between the results of sessions 1 and 2. 7. Summary of the experiences of l i f e style analysis as a whole. 8. The follow-up report from the subject's therapist. CHAPTER FOUR 49 CASE STUDY ONE: Amy See Appendix G for audio-transcript Age: 27 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 33 Presenting problem: Depression with s u i c i d a l ideation. Referral source: Self Description of Amy Amy i s an at t r a c t i v e woman of medium height and bu i l d . She wore her hair in a short f l a t t e r i n g h a i r s t y l e . Her style of make-up gave her a hard appearance. She appeared reserved and controlled, and spoke in a soft voice. Amy maintained normal eye contact thoughout both sessions. She showed concern for the investigator by commenting on the research si t u a t i o n from the investigator's perspective. During the f i r s t session Amy answered the questions in a frie n d l y cooperative manner, without any v i s i b l e show of emotion. In the interpretation session she appeared ca"lm and unemotional during the f i r s t part and chewed her l i p during the l a s t part. Throughout she cleared her throat numerous times and laughed when reporting, what would normally be, painful or embarrassing events. She appeared very interested and involved at a l l times. Family Constellation Amy grew up with her natural mother and father. She i s the youngest of three children and the only g i r l . Brother: + 4 Brother: + 18 months Amy: 27 CHAPTER FOUR 50 Table 4 A A c t i v i t y , for Potency, and Evaluative Ratings Subject Number One: Amy DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 5.75 4.5 5.0 5.0 1.5 4.0 Worst Pleasant 1.25 4.25 6.0 4.25 1.0 1.75 Run-of-the-mill 3.25 3.5 2.0 Frightening Exciting 4.25 5.0 5.25 4.0 1.0 1.0 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 3.25 2.0 3.0 Both Parents Mother Father 2.5 1.75 6.0 3.25 4.0 2.5 2.5 3.25 1.75 Early Recollections 4.25 2.5 1.0 Interpretation 6.25 Table 4 B 4.5 4.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject : Number One: Amy LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH MOTHER PARENTS FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 9.7 9.6 10.8 8.9 11.0 9.5 8.1 9.6 8. 11. 7 8.6 1 6.6 Worst 11.4 8.8 7.8 13.7 12. 0 13.5 Pleasant 7.4 7.9 7.9 6.8 7. 2 8.8 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 6.0 11.8 6.3 9.5 6.2 10.4 7.3 10.4 6. 11. 8 9.6 9 11.1 Exciting 10.8 9.9 11.3 8.4 10. 3 11.0 CHAPTER FOUR 51 L i f e Style Summary I am a t t r a c t i v e , a r t i s t i c , and conforming. I am a real baby who i s scared of l i f e . I am f u l l of powerful emotions which I keep capped l i k e a f i r e hydrant caps water. Whenever I " l e t go" the outcome has serious consequences. I'm constantly being "thrown to the wolves" without anyone to protect me. I am a survivor but I am lonely. Others are mean, cruel, and self-centered. They reject me and are never there when I need them. Men either hassle me or l i k e Santa Clause make me promises but only deliver occasionally. The world i s a dangerous place in which I have no choices. Therefore I must never ' l e t go' and act on my fee l i n g s . In order to do this I must suppress them. I must be on guard at a l l times so that I never lose control or expose myself. I must protect myself because no one else w i l l . Section on Siblings Amy reported feeling a l o t of anger when talking about her s i b l i n g s . She stated that she experienced so.me confusion because she did not know how to respond to the questions. She indicated that she f e l t comfortable t e l l i n g me about them, which she said was unusual for her. She reported being engrossed while she talked about herself and her brothers stating, I actually went back in that age... just thinking about i t I got r e a l l y small. CHAPTER FOUR 52 Section on Parents Amy reported a confusion of feelings when talking about her parents. She was more engrossed while talking about her mother than her father. There was a sadness when she talked about her father and an anger of a recent o r i g i n toward her mother. She was surprised that she thought of her father as fat because she had never thought of him as fat before. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Amy stated that she was very engrossed in this section, more so than either of the previous sections. Again she f e l t anger, this time at both parents but she did not indicate why. She also was aware of how frightened she was during that time ( 0 - 8 years) in her l i f e . During one frightening ER she was aware of her heart beating quickly, and during an embarrassing ER, of her skin tightening up. She reported an insight which occurred to her during this section. I learned i t would have been so easy not to have li s t e n e d . It was my own s e l f that made me do these things - to take i t . Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Amy thought about changes she would have made in her answers but she did not specify what they would be. She also said that she was more aware of her own behavior, but did not elaborate further. Amy f e l t excited about coming to the second session because she was looking forward to getting some information that would help her. She referred to the l i f e style analysis as a t e s t . CHAPTER FOUR 53 Working toward the Interpretation Amy was very engrossed in.the interpretation process. ...cause usually I'm very conscious of what I'm saying and retracting before I'm going to say i t , and t h i s time i t was almost l i k e I was free to think and say anything so I had to be very engrossed... .. . l o s t in my thoughts to the point that I was saying things that I wouldn't normally say, sort of, i f you get drunk or something. Amy f e l t embarressed because she said things that she would not normally say. To her, thi s meant she was being exposed. Her skin got tight when she f e l t this way in the same way i t did in one of her ERs. She also reported her heart beating quickly during the second half because she f e l t exposed. ...and you would h i t on something that r e a l l y was true. I f e l t l i k e (pause) wanting to hide, fe e l i n g l i k e , oh no! It's exposed. And, that scared f e e l i n g . Amy related an insight regarding how she tends to recreate the same boundries currently. This arose out of her comparing her husband to her father during the interpretation phase. Amy enjoyed working toward the interpretation, feeling she gained information about herself which no other counsellor had given her before. Summary of Results Amy was very engrossed in a l l parts of the l i f e style analysis. During the c o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e s tyle data she was more engrossed during the re l a t i n g of the ERs than the previous sections. While working toward the interpretation she was engrossed to the extent that she thought and responded f r e e l y , CHAPTER FOUR 54 a very unusual experience for her. She experienced a range of feelings going through th i s process such as anger, confusion, sadness, surprise, being frightened, embarrassment, and fee l i n g exposed. The physical sensations she experienced were related to the feeli n g s . She was aware of her heart beating quickly when she f e l t frightened, and of her skin tightening up when she f e l t embarrassed and exposed. She reported insights about her family dynamics while talking about her father, r e l a t i n g the ERs, and working toward the i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . On the a c t i v i t y dimension the ratings of the sections on father (6.0) and interpretation (6.25) are high, higher than any of her movies. They are very close to her personally meaningful movie (5.75). Ratings on this dimension of the remainder of the sections ranged from neutral to low (1.75-4.25). On the potency dimension ratings of the l i f e style sections ranged from neutral to low (4.0-2.0) with the exception of the interpretation (4.5). The potency of this section approached the potency of Amy's most potent movies. This supports Amy's state- ments that she became so engrossed in the process that she freel y expressed her s e l f , very unusual behavior for her. In the evaluative dimension l i f e style ratings tend to be moderately low to low (1.0-3.25) with the exception of the interpretation which i s s l i g h t l y above neutral (4.75). This indicates that Amy f e l t moderately to very negative (1.0-3.25) toward the data c o l l e c t i o n sections and moderately positive toward the interpretation. The evaluative rating of a l l of her CHAPTER FOUR 55 movies are negative with the exception of her best which i s neutral (4.0). This indicates that she has d i f f i c u l t y formu- l a t i n g a positive view, supporting her very negative view of people and of l i f e stated by her l i f e s t y l e . Her moderately high score for interpretation (4.75) i s a high rating for Amy, indicating this was an unusual experience for her. This supports Amy's l i f e s tyle which describes her as keeping her powerful emotions capped. Usually- i f she ever 'lets go' of her feelings the consequences are disastrous. During the interpretation she did ' l e t go', speaking freely of her thoughts and feelings, and the consequences were p o s i t i v e — a very di f f e r e n t experience for her . The data c o l l e c t i o n sections, with the exception of father, measure closest to the experience of watching a run-of-the-mill movie (6.2-6.8). This i s contradicted by her report of her physical reactions, heart beating quickly and skin tightening up, which occurred during the re l a t i n g of the ERs. However, this supports her l i f e s t y l e , as she keeps herself in a neutral state by keeping her feelings under control. The interpretation section measures closest to her personally meaningful movie (6.6) which also supports her positive statements about the experience of the int e r p r e t a t i o n . Overall, l i f e style sections, with the exception of interpretation, tend to be l i k e the experience of watching a run-of-the-mill movie. The interpretation i s a diff e r e n t experience for Amy than any of the movies. It i s similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful movie, only positive instead of negative. CHAPTER FOUR 56 Therapist's Report (As written by Amy's therapist) Amy avoided discussion of l i f e style analysis, suggesting that i t had an impact on her. Focus in therapy changed from her depression to her anxiety in regard to making decisions. Amy moved out of her parent's home two months after the analysis. CHAPTER FOUR 57 Case Study Two: Betty See Appendix H for audio-transcript Age: 35 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 6 Presenting problem: Unhappy with everything. I r r i t a b l e , crying, nervous, t i r e d a l l the time, y e l l i n g at children, eating to calm herself down. Referral source: Self Description of Betty Betty i s a short, s l i g h t l y plump, a t t r a c t i v e woman with shoulder length blond hair. She was open and cooperative but seemed apprehensive about the l i f e s tyle analysis. During both sessions she spoke quietly, maintaining normal eye contact throughout. During the f i r s t session her eyes were moist when discussing her parents during the l i f e style analysis. While answering the research questions on this section, she c r i e d . Family Constellation Betty grew up with her natural parents. She i s the eldest of four children. Betty: 35 S i s t e r : - 5 (deceased, died when Betty was 9) Sister -10 Brother - 12 Li f e Style Summary I am independent, f o r c e f u l , caring, and sen s i t i v e . I am a hard worker with very high standards of accomplishment. I l i k e to be boss and have my own way. I am conforming and try very hard to CHAPTER FOUR 58 please others. I am l i k e a d o l l with a broken china head. I want to belong but I end up alone. Others do not care about what goes on inside my head. They do not care about how I f e e l or what I think. They seldom give me the support I need. They s t i f l e me. L i f e i s serious business and l i f e ' s circumstances are confining. Therefore I am in a bind. I try and try to do my best but I end up going around in c i r c l e s . I can never be good enough. When I don't try I lose control. I can only accomplish things when I have the support of others. When I try to get their support I lose control and end up alone. I've learned to bite my tongue. Section on Siblings Betty reported being very engrossed while talking about her brother, s i s t e r s , and herself. She f e l t sad because she feels 'on the outside' from her si b l i n g s and this made her f e e l l i k e crying. She thought they would never get to know each other. Section on Parents Table 2 a Betty reported being very engrossed in this section. She experienced feelings of anger, sadness, f r u s t a t i o n , and being rejected or set aside. Physically she f e l t warm a l l over. She had thoughts that her parents were doing the best that they could. Section on Early Recollections Betty was t o t a l l y engrossed while r e l a t i n g the early r e c o l - l e c t i o n s , and reported experiencing the same feelings that she CHAPTER FOUR 59 Table 5 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Two: Betty DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 5.75 5.75 5.25 3.5 2.75 7.0 Worst Pleasant 1.0 5.75 4.0 3.25 3.5 6.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.5 6.0 Frightening Exciting 6.75 6.75 2.5 4.5 1.0 4.5 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 4.5 2.75 3.5 Both Parents Mother Father 4.0 3.75 4.75 2.75 2.75 3.75 3.0 2.75 4.0 Early Recollections 4.75 3.0 3.25 Interpretation 4.25 Table 5 B 3.25 4.0 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Two: Betty LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 7.8 12.0 9.3 13.7 9.5 12.1 6.7 9.4 8.3 12.5 7.7 10.6 Worst 9.8 10.4 9.4 9.7 10.4 8.8 Pleasant 10.8 12.8 10.6 8.8 11.5 9.4 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 10.9 8.9 12.0 10.7 10.0 8.4 9.2 11.0 11.5 9.5 9.6 9.2 Exciting 8.7 11.0 10.3 7.3 9.4 8.9 CHAPTER FOUR 60 had f e l t during the o r i g i n a l incident. I f e l t l i k e I was there. Sort of f e l t , you know, fidgety and you know (long pause) sort of made me f e e l l i k e how I f e l t then, you know, either sad or upset or a f r a i d . She f e l t calm at the beginning of this section but then she began to get warmer and warmer a l l over. At f i r s t just when you--talking about running away, my r o l l e r skates and everything I f e l t f i n e , calm, but then as I got. onto the dreams and everything I could f e e l myself getting more agitated and I could f e e l myself getting warmer and more sort of uptight. It occurred to her that she cannot forget the past; that i t s t i l l seems r e a l l y important to her and s t i l l upsets her. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Betty enjoyed the session, stating that she did not find the session as bad as she had expected, but she f e l t emotionally drained afterwards. I think I f e l t sort of emotional from i t a b i t . I went home and my head was kind of heavy for the rest of the day. I f e l t l i k e I'd r e a l l y been (pause) uh you know sort of how you f e e l after a big exam (laugh) you sort of f e e l sort of drained, cuz I know I f e l t quite t i r e d for the rest of the day so I guess i t was probably a b i t of a (pause) maybe a s t r a i n . I d i d n ' t — I didn't f e e l that way when I was answering the questions, I f e l t they—they sort of came easily to me. Betty reported that she f e l t curious as to how the i n v e s t i - gator was going to interpret the information. She hoped that the interpretation was going to help her sort some things out. CHAPTER FOUR 61 Working toward the Interpretation Betty described herself as being "right in there" during th i s experience. She reported feeling understood. She talked of having knowledge on one l e v e l but not wanting to acknowledge i t . ....I think maybe you sometimes—you know i t ' s there but you can't—you don't want to admit i t or you don't (pause) r e a l l y want (pause) to see i t . It was d i f f i c u l t for Betty to access her feelings as she went through this section but she recognized them when they were presented to her during the interpretation process. Sort of f e l t maybe understood a b i t more, maybe (pause) I c a n ' t — I can't—I'm not very good—. I f e l t l i k e saying hey! yeah that's exactly how I f e e l , l i k e you know, especially when you f i r s t said that one word, you said 'bind' I sort of f e l t with a few things that you said that, you know, t h a t — t h a t — t h a t ' s how I FEEL. Betty began to cry again as she discussed how hurt her parents would be i f they knew how she r e a l l y f e l t about their treatment of her. Betty reported f e e l i n g relieved physically after going through this process. When asked about insights that she had mentioned previously she responded,"I don't think I can remember what I said". Summary Betty was engrossed in a l l sections of the l i f e s tyle analysis, but was more engrossed during the re l a t i n g of the ERs and working toward the inte r p r e t a t i o n . CHAPTER FOUR 62 She experienced feelings such as sadness, 'on the outside', anger, f r u s t r a t i o n , rejection, uptight, and understood. She re- experienced the feelings she had o r i g i n a l l y in the ERs. As she began re l a t i n g the ERs she f e l t calm, but as she continued she f e l t more and more agitated and uptight. Physically she got warmer and warmer a l l over. After the interpretation she f e l t physically relieved. The thoughts Betty had related to current dynamics between her family and herself. Although she reported insights while working through the interpretation she was unable to remember them at the completion. A l l l i f e style sections tend to be rated moderately low to neutral (2.75 - 3.75) on the potency dimension, and are similar to the potency of her best (3.5), and pleasant (3.25) movies. On the evaluative dimension the l i f e s tyle sections also tend to be rated from moderately low to neutral (2.75 - A.O), indicating that the experiences of a l l the sections were moderately negative to neutral ones for her. This i s supported by the sadness she f e l t as she talked about 'feeling on the outside' from her s i b - lings and the lack of caring she experienced from her parents. Overall, for this subject, the l i f e style analysis i s some- what similar to the experience of watching a personally meaning- f u l movie. Betty enjoyed the data c o l l e c t i o n session although i she found i t painful and she was emotionally drained afterwards. This i s supported by the evaluation and potency ratings of her personally meaningful movie. After the interpretaton section she described herself as physically relieved and fee l i n g understood. CHAPTER FOUR . 63 The linear distance scores also support this experience as a personally meaningful one, measuring overal l moderately close (6.7- 9.5). to her personally meaningful movie. Therapist's Report (As written by the Therapist) Betty expressed c u r i o s i t y and excitement about the review her l i f e and of her role in her primary family. She said that she f e l t happier since the l i f e s t yle anaylsis. Betty became more in control of her own needs and wants after this analysis, as she gained c l a r i t y of personality t r a i t that she had not integrated before. CHAPTER FOUR 64 Case Study Number Three: Carl See Appendix I for audio-transcript Age: 49 Sex: Male Marital Status: Married Number of months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 6 Presenting problem: Marital distress Referral source: Wife Description of Carl Carl i s man of medium height and build, and s l i g h t l y balding. He was very f r i e n d l y and personable, maintaining normal eye contact. He participated in both sessions with interest and appeared very involved throughout. He interacted in a normal manner, calm and very open to sharing information about himself. He appeared to thoroughly enjoy the sessions. During the answering of the research questions he became emotional, tears came to his eyes, when he spoke of his mother and the d i f f i c u l t l i f e he f e l t that she had had. During the data c o l l e c t i o n concerning his s i b l i n g s and parents he spontaneously recalled and shared r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Carl had an abundance of r e c o l l e c t i o n s . While answering the research questions he continually expanded on the thoughts and feelings he had about himself, his family, and his l i f e . Family constellation Carl's father died when he was two and his mother began to l i v e with a man f a i r l y soon thereafter. He i s the youngest of six s i b l i n g s . CHAPTER FOUR 65 Table 6 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Three: Carl DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 6.25 5.5 5.0 6.0 4.5 5.0 Worst Pleasant 1.0 5.5 1.75 4.25 2.5 6.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.5 2.75 Frightening Exciting 4.0 6.0 6.0 6.5 1.25 3.5 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 6.25 5.0 6.0 Both Parents Mother Father 6.0 6.25 6.0 4.5 4.0 4.5 5.5 6.75 6.0 Early Recollections 6.25 5.25 5.25 Interpretation 6.5 Table 6 B 4.75 4.5 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Three: Carl LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 4.9 5.7 5.7 7.1 6.6 8.3 5.6 6.8 5.5 7.8 2.0 5.6 Worst 16.1 15.2 17.1 15.7 16.6 16.6 Pleasant 3.7 4.8 5.4 4.4 5.8 5.8 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 10.5 12.6 9.6 11.8 12.3 14.5 10.5 12.5 10.8 11.5 10.0 11.4 Exciting 8.2 8.9 9.9 8.8 9.1 6.2 CHAPTER FOUR 66 S i s t e r : + 14 Brother: + 10 Twin (died at 9 months) Brother: + 10 Twin Brother: + 8 S i s t e r : + 5 C a r l : 48 L i f e Style Summary I am i n t e l l i g e n t , reasonable, and calm. I am rebellious and I l i k e to have my own way. I am very ambitious. I try to be a hard worker but bas i c a l l y I'm easy-going and enjoy the pleasures of l i f e . I hate to kick up a fuss because someone (maybe me) may get hurt or something w i l l get damaged. I could be successful i f only those in power would l e t me play. I am helpless to do any- thing about i t . Others exclude me. They are in power and have a l l the fun. L i f e has good times and bad times. It's a c o n f l i c t between fun and duty. L i f e i s l i k e being excluded by others from the game 'Button, button, who's got the button?' when I know who has the button everytime. Therefore I try to accept the bad times in l i f e and enjoy the good ones. I do my duty so I wont get punished and others wont kick up a fuss. I avoid kicking up a fuss by bending a l o t and di s t r a c t i n g others. I am bored watching others have fun and be successful. Section on Siblings Carl reported feeling very close to his family while talking about his brothers, s i s t e r s , and himself. He " f e l t good thinking about" his family and experienced feelings of missing them. He remembers good times with them. He f e l t envy toward CHAPTER FOUR 67 his wife because she had family within easy access whereas he did not. He sometimes experienced a feeling of melancholy during this section. He reported that he did not have time to be introspec- tive or i n s i g h t f u l because his mind was so busy searching for the information about each in d i v i d u a l " l i k e a computer sort of tape". Section on Parents Carl reported trying to keep himself from becoming emotionally involved during t h i s section. He reported having a feeling of missing out because he did not have a father. He did not consider his step-father as a father to him. He experienced feelings of being sorry for his mother; this discussion brought tears to his eyes. The thoughts that he had related further to his mother, and how he t r i e d to make up to her for the unhappy l i f e that she had had. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Carl was very engrossed while r e l a t i n g the ERs. Well I sort o f - - r e l i v i n g them (laughing) as I was going to each detail.Yes - yeah I can s t i l l picture a l l those things. He experienced mixed emotions of helplessness, joy, and warmth. He also experienced the feeling of having to learn to take l i f e ' s good and bad times and adjust to them. He v i v i d l y remembered the sensations he had during the rel a t i n g of the recollections and dreams but states that he did not experience them in his body as he related them. going into the TV screen of my mind to r e c a l l these things (pause) and uh to r e l i v e them again—the same sensations I CHAPTER FOUR 68 gave you before, trying to run up the h i l l and your feet f e e l l i k e they are a ton a piece and you can hardly move. ...I could not actually f e e l i t here but I could f e e l i t in my dream or r e c a l l i t . I could picture the sun and the warmth that i t had on my back. The thoughts that he had related to his perception of l i f e . He saw s i m i l a r i t i e s between his behavior in one of the r e c o l l e c - tions and in his son's behavior. He reported not learning anything new, although he had noticed a s i m i l a r i t y between events within a r e c o l l e c t i o n with which he had not connected previously. When the investigator asked about the connection he had made in this r e c o l l e c t i o n , he talked about how he f e l t his s p i r i t had been broken and because of that he has not been able to r e a l i z e his ambitions. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Carl continued to think about his l i f e after the session. He discussed i t b r i e f l y with his wife and continued to r e c a l l more r e c o l l e c t i o n s . He considered the rec o l l e c t i o n s " f a c t s " . I thought back of other things that came to my mind, you know, l i k e snowball reaction you-you-you start with one and you get another memory, another memory, another memory you know, I could have given you a thousand of them I guess. The previous session made him f e e l discouraged. Since the la s t session, sort of reflected on my l i f e and—a wasted l i f e in some ways. He was apprehensive about how the interpretation would turn out. He expressed having "misgivings" because he might get a CHAPTER FOUR 69 "far-fetched" interpretaton. He then went on to say that he had confidence i n me because we had worked together before and he thought I knew his thoughts and feelings well. ....I sometimes think that some of these i n t e r - pretations—depending who does i t — g e t another point of view that you never look at and they're sometimes a l i t t l e far-fetched too. But i f i t ' s your interpretation I think you—I have a l o t of confidence in you personally.... because whenever we used to have talks with (my wife) and I—you included, you seemed to know my thoughts and feelings (pause) just as well as I could, but you could express them better than I could too. (pause) so the correlation was very good there. Working toward the Interpretation Carl reported being very engrossed in the interpretation process, " I was involved in i t , top of the l i s t there". He experienced feelings of anger at himself and at l i f e . The feeling of anger arose out of deeper feelings of hurt and sad- ness. He spoke of wanting to improve on his situ a t i o n but did not know where to s t a r t . He described having physical sensations of nausea. My stomach's a l i t t l e upset, b u t t e r f l i e s , very seldom I have i t . He f e l t r e a l l y sad that he had not achieved what he had wanted to achieve in l i f e . He f e l t discouraged about his l i f e because he saw i t as wasted in some repects. Summary Carl was engrossed during a l l sections of the l i f e style analysis, but was most engrossed while r e l a t i n g the ERs and working toward the interpretation. He experienced feelings of family closeness, envy,melancholy, CHAPTER FOUR 70 of missing out,pity for his mother, helplessness, joy,and warmth. •a He experienced anger in various ways, at himself and at l i f e and anger which arose out of deeper feelings of hurt and sadness. He r e l i v e d the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , v i v i d l y r e c a l l i n g the feelings of the ERs but not re-experiencing them during the session. Carl had tears in his eyes as he talked about his mother, and sensations of nausea ('butterflies') while working toward the int e r p r e t a t i o n . The thoughts he had related to current family dynamics both with his family of o r i g i n and one of his sons. He also had thoughts which related to his current feeling that he had not realized his ambitions. He did not remember experiencing any insights although he had one while discussing an ER during the interpretation process. On the a c t i v i t y dimension, the l i f e style ratings tend to be very high (6.0-6.5), i d e n t i c a l to very similar to Carl's personally meaningful and exciting movies. This indicates that he f e l t very active while p a r t i c i p a t i n g in a l l of the l i f e s tyle sections. The enthusiasm and talkativeness he exhibited while undergoing the l i f e style analysis and his report that his mind was so busy searching for information are supported by the high a c t i v i t y ratings. On the potency dimension, the ratings of the l i f e s tyle sections range from neutral to moderately strong (4.0-5.25) and compare to the potency ratings of his personally meaningful (5.0) and pleasant (4.25) movies. CHAPTER FOUR 71 On the evaluative dimension the l i f e style ratings tend to be high, ranging from moderately high for the interpretation (4.5) to very high for the section on mother (6.75). The ratings indicate that Carl f e l t very positive toward the data c o l l e c t i o n s sections and moderately positive toward the interpretation sec- t i o n . These ratings support Carl's warm feelings toward his family and his childhood, which he reported during the- data c o l l e c t i o n s sections, as well as the observation of his enjoyment of the session. The very positive attitude toward his mother (6.75) supports the caring he expressed for her. The less positive ratings toward the interpretation also support the physical sensation of an upset stomach and Carl's discouragement about his l i f e . The linear distance scores further support Carl's positive attitude toward the data c o l l e c t i o n sections and his moderately positive attitude toward the interpretation sec- t i o n . The l i f e style sections tend to be similar to his pleasant (3.7-5.8) amd his personally meaningful (4.9-5.7) movies with the exception of the interpretation section, which i s very similar to his personally meaningful movie (2.0). Overall, for Carl, the l i f e style sections tend to be similar to the experience of watching a pleasant or personally meaningful movie. In pa r t i c u l a r , the interpretation section i s very similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful movie. Therapist's Report (As written by Carl's therapist) Carl expressed a great deal of interest in this analysis. He became aware of how his childhood experiences had influenced his CHAPTER FOUR 72 approach to people and his s e l f concept. He gained a more com- plete perspective of his l i f e as well as better understanding of his present problems. CHAPTER FOUR 73 Case Study Number Four: Donna See Appendix J for audio-transcript Age: 27 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 31 Presenting problem: I n i t i a l l y a parenting concern then personal issues such as incest and l i f e planning. Referral source: Self Description of Donna Donna i s a t a l l a t t r a c t i v e woman with dark f u l l shoulder length hair. She was conservative in manner and dress. She appeared anxious while p a r t i c i p a t i n g in the c o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e style data. She was agitated while talking and she continued to twist and bend a coffee s t i r stick throughout the session. She was reserved, quiet, and appeared very involved while she responded to the questions. It was very d i f f i c u l t for Donna to be aware of her f e e l i n g s . She either did not have access to her them or she mentioned them when she described her thoughts. During the second session as we worked through the interpretation she became very l i v e l y . She smiled, laughed, and nodded her head as she agreed with sugges- tions for int e r p r e t a t i o n . To me, she seemed to be reeling from the amount of information she was receiving. I did not share the theme from one r e c o l l e c t i o n with her because I f e l t that she had had enough information for one time, and also because the CHAPTER FOUR 74 Table 7 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Four: Donna DIMENSIONS A c t i v i t y Potency Evaluative Movies Personally Meaningful 5.0 4.0 6.0 Best 4.25 4.5 6.0 Worst 2.25 5.25 2.25 Pleasant 3.5 3.75 6.75 Run-of-the-mill 4.25 5.5 2.5 Frightening 5.75 3.0 2.5 Exciting 6.0 5.25 5.5 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 3.75 4.5 3.0 Both Parents 4.5 3.75 4.25 Mother 4.25 4.25 3.5 Father 4.5 4.0 4.75 Early Recollections 3.75 4.0 4.75 Interpretation 5.25 4.5 6.0 Table 7 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Four: Donna LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 7.7 9.2 4.2 5.7 6.8 7.7 3.9 4.5 4.2 4.6 4.1 3.2 Worst 4.9 8.2 6.1 8.7 7.7 11.6 Pleasant 10.7 6.5 9.4 5.7 5.3 6.1 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 3.7 6.8 6.1 7.0 4.6 6.7 7.2 8.0 6.7 8.3 9.1 10.6 Exciting 8.8 5.7 7.3 5.1 5.7 4.0 CHAPTER FOUR . 75 r e c o l l e c t i o n was related to the issue of incest. This information was given to her therapist. Family Constellation Donna grew up with her natural mother and father on a farm. She i s the eleventh of f i f t e e n children. Brother: + 19 S i s t e r : + 16 S i s t e r : + 15 S i s t e r : + 13 S i s t e r : + 12 Sister : + 11 Si s t e r : + 8 Brother: + 7 Brother: + 6 Si s t e r : + 3 Si s t e r : + 1 Donna: 32 Si s t e r : - 2 Brother: - 4 Brother: 5 L i f e Style Summary I am i n t e l l i g e n t , independent, a t h l e t i c , and i d e a l i s t i c . I l i k e to have my own way and I w i l l r e b e l l i f I don't get i t . I am very stubborn, l i k e a steamroller. I w i l l go after what I want and bend the rules in order to get i t . I'd l i k e to make a masterpiece of my l i f e but I'm afr a i d of f a i l u r e . I have very high standards for myself. I'm a loner although I'd l i k e to have a few close friends. I am unable to trust my fe e l i n g s . Others are very intense and mostly cold. They punish and humiliate me i f I flaunt what I get. They don't t e l l you what they think and f e e l . Men play painful games with me. L i f e i s confusing. CHAPTER FOUR 76 Therefore to cope I pretend i t ' s a game. In order to do this I must lose touch with my feelings (anger? fear? pain?). Because I can't trust my feelings I must use my head to figure everything out. I don't trust my own a b i l i t i e s . I can get what I want and I am w i l l i n g to. bend the rules in order to get i t ; but I must NEVER flaunt what I get. Section on Siblings Donna reported that she was quite detached while talking about her sibings and herself. When asked about the feelings that she experienced she said that she had none, only thoughts about how l i t t l e she r e a l l y knew her s i b l i n g s . When discussing the physical sensations she had, she talked about feelings of being sorry for one s i s t e r , and mixed up about one s i s t e r . Toward one brother she experienced a physical sensation of warmth in the l e f t half of her chest. The mixed up feeling she f e l t toward her s i s t e r "seems to h i t my shoulder". The thoughts she had were related to the s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g attitude that her parents i n s t i l l e d in a l l the children. When I said, you know, li k e — u m Mom and Dad's p h i l o — y o u know, family's philosophy— like--Do unto others as you would have them do unto you and MORE. Uh—I think (pause) i t sort of uh--left a l o t of us high and dry cuz (pause) I don't know,that sort of gives me a funny fe e l i n g (pause) even putting i t into words. Like (pause) not that I mind doing (pause) things for other people but I- I r e a l l y think that (pause) came across (pause) r e a l l y strongly and I think i t was sort of (pause) indicating a s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g attitude or behavior which I hadn't (pause) r e a l l y thought about before (pause) and then going through that (pause) I realized that that's exactly what came across (pause) and a l o t of us are (pause) s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g CHAPTER FOUR 77 (pause)like even—even (pause) I wouldn't say we'd—we'd damage ourselves (pause) physically but—mentally or i n t e l l e c t u a l l y um— probably did. Section on Parents Donna reported being engrossed when talking about her parents. When asked about her feelings during this section she i n t i a l l y said regret, and then said she had no feelings other than numb. She reported having no other physical sensations or reactions. The only thoughts or insights that she reported having were thoughts that her parents would have done better i f they had communicated more. She also stated that she wished they had communicated more. Section on Early Recollections - ERs When asked about how involved or detached she was in thi s section Donna responded: Um (pause) I think I was probably (pause) um (pause) detached from them. She stated that this was because she had discussed them previously with her therapist. She also stated that she used to think they were devastating but now she sees them as more innocent, although one of the events recounted in a r e c o l l e c t i o n had the powerful e f f e c t of preventing her from drawing currently. the one about the drawing I'm (pause) to t h i s day I s t i l l don't draw, and I don't even attempt to draw because of i t I just (pause) can't (pause) bring myself to put something on paper (pause) and I'm sure i t ' s because of that. She reported not having any physical sensations or reactions CHAPTER FOUR 78 when re l a t i n g the r e c o l l e c t i o n s . In response to this question she connected her reaction in a particular r e c o l l e c t i o n to her son's recent behavior. Not r e a l l y (pause) I related (pause) you know, the stealing of the banana with (pause) my son's attempt at (pause) stealing something too and I thought, you know, r e a l l y I should (pause) how—how uh (pause) d i f f i - c u l t that was for me (pause) and remember for when--*if—if he does i t . She did not report any other thoughts or in s i g h t s . Reactions and thoughts between Sessions Donna found i t benefical to describe her family i n d i v i d u a l l y as she had never done that before. She continued to "mull those thoughts over". She was interested in finding out what was involved in the interpretation because she hoped that she might find out some- thing that would help her make decisions about her future. Working toward the Interpretation Donna reported being quite involved during this experience. Q u i t e — q u i t e engrossed. Not--not necessarily feelings, but i n t e l l e c t u a l l y . Again I guess that's because my--my--um habit of--of how I deal with (pause) things, (pause) Like I don't (pause) yeah I think that's l i k e i n t e l l e c t u a l l y quite engrossed. She experienced a fee l i n g of embarrassment and a physical reaction which she described as tenseness in her mind. Donna, "Um actually I'm feeling a b i t tense." (laughter) Investigator ,"Right now? ir Donna, "Yes (laugh) mind-wise, you know. ti CHAPTER FOUR 79 She reported having quite a few thoughts and insights that she f e l t anxious to "mull over" by herself. She was not able to put them into words. Quite a few act u a l l y . um About how I'm goin-- how I'm going say—mull t h i s a l l over. um Actually, quite a few because I think a l o t of the things you've mentioned are a l o t of the things that I hadn't r e a l l y (pause) couldn't r e a l l y um (pause) get my finger on, or, you know. She f e l t excited because she thought that she had found the key that she was looking for to help her make her decisions regarding her future, but she was unable to state what i t was. She stated that she f e l t r e l i e f in regard to her feeli n g s . . . . i t ' s sort of (pause) b i t of a r e l i e f to my fee l i n g s . Like i t ' s an i n t e l l e c t u a l r e l i e f to my feelings Summary Donna f e l t detached while talking about her si b l i n g s and rel a t i n g the ERs. She was engrossed while talking about her parents and very engrossed while working toward the interpreta- t i o n . The feelings she experienced were pity for one s i s t e r , 'mixed-up' about another, numbness, embarrassment and excitement. The physical sensations she experienced were a sensation of warmth in one half of her chest toward a brother, and a sensation in one shoulder toward a s i s t e r , and a 'tenseness i n her mind' while working toward the inter p r e t a t i o n . After the interpreta- tion she reported an ' i n t e l l e c t u a l r e l i e f to her fee l i n g s ' . During the co l l e c t i o n s of the l i f e style data Donna had very CHAPTER FOUR 80 few thoughts or insi g h t s . She had some thoughts about current s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g behaviors of herself and her s i b l i n g s and she wished her parents had communicated more. While working toward the interpretation she had many thoughts and insights but was not able to put them into words. L i f e style ratings tend to be neutral to moderately high on a c t i v i t y (3.75-5.25) and potency (3.75-4.5) dimensions. This supports Donna's neutral to positive statements in regard to her degree of involvement during most sections. The moderately high rating for interpretation (5.25) contradicts her active, excited behavior observed during this section. The potency of a l l sections was i d e n t i c a l to or very close to the potency of her positive movies. Again, the potency rating of the interpretation contradicted the strong effect this section was observed to have on her. Because Donna had strong reactions during this section the investigator did not divulge a l l the information. This i n d i - cates that the interpretation section was very potent for her. L i f e style ratings on the evaluative dimension ranged fro.m moderately low to moderately high (3.0-4.75). This indicates that Donna ranged from feeling moderately negative to moderately positive toward these sections. The interpretation rating i s high (6.0), i d e n t i c a l to her personally meaningful and best movies, indicating a very postive attitude toward this section. This supports Donna's smiling and laughing behavior during this section as well as her report that she thought she had found the key for which she had been looking. Overall the l i f e s tyle sections tend to be very similar to CHAPTER FOUR 81 the experience of watching a personally meaningful or a best movie. The linear distance measures show the l i f e style ratings, with the exception of the s i b l i n g section, similar to her person- a l l y meaningful movie (3.9-6.8). The linear distance measures show the l i f e s t yle sections ranging from moderately similar ( S i b l i n g section) to very similar (interpretation section) to the experience of watching her best movie. This supports Donna's involved and excited behavior during the procedure. Her positive report such as she f e l t "an i n t e l l e c t u a l r e l i e f to her f e e l i n g s " and that the information " f i t so well" indicate that she found the process a positive one. Therapist's Report ( As written by Donna's therapist) Donna has reduced anxiety, more insight, and does not get as upset over things as she did before. She enrolled in a course in a f i e l d in which she had secretly always been interested but had avoided because of her fear of f a i l u r e . CHAPTER FOUR 82 Case Study Number Five: Elaine See Appendix K for audio-transcript Age: 31 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 31 Presenting problem: Anorexia nervosa Referral source: Self Description of Elaine Elaine i s a short p e t i t woman. She was very neatly dressed. She eagerly participated in the l i f e style analysis. She was calm and interacted with me in a normal manner throughout both sessions. She appeared to be interested in the l i f e style data c o l l e c t i o n process during the f i r s t session and very involved in the interpretation session during the second session. Family Constellation Elaine grew up with her natural mother and father. S i s t e r : + 4 Elaine: 31 L i f e Style Summary I am considerate, sensitive, and a hard worker. I am w i l l i n g to break the rules to get what I want. I have high standards of accomplishment. I get hung up on d e t a i l but I enjoy that. I am neglected by everyone. I am only important to ray father and then only when I am perfect. If I am perfect I can create moments when my father w i l l relax and enjoy me; then I belong. CHAPTER FOUR 83 Others are not important. Only my father i s important. L i f e i s nothing except for a few perfect moments. It i s constant struggle to create them. Therefore I must work very hard to be perfect. I can never relax and be myself. If I focus on those perfect moments I can ignore how neglected I am by everyone. Section on Siblings Elaine reported feeling neutral during this experience, neither engrossed or detached. The feelings she reported were described as "good fe e l i n g s " with no regrets in regard to their r e l a t i o n s h i p . She did not experience any physical sensations or reactions. The thoughts she had about her s i s t e r were in regard to their relationship and the open communication between them. She did not learn anything new about herself or her childhood s i t u a t i o n . Section on Parents Elaine reported being "pretty engrossed" while talking about her parents. ...I could sort o f - - r e l i v e everything I was saying. I was experiencing as I talked about i t I--I um f e l t l i k e I was talking about some- thing very close to myself rather than just talking about something (pause) or someone. Not so much fee l i n g that I was just stating facts as--as f e e l i n g s . The feelings that she experienced were mixed feelings of love, hurt, fairness, anxiety, and warmth. She experienced overal l twinges. The twinges related to wanting to r e l i v e situations of which she had spoken. She was surprised at the CHAPTER FOUR 84 Table Number 8 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Five: Elaine DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful 4.75 4.5 5.0 Best 5.5 5.0 2.5 Worst 4.0 3.75 2.5 Pleasant 5.5 4.25 5.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.75 4.5 Frightening 4.25 4.5 2.25 Exciting 5.5 3.25 5.0 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 5.5 4.75 6.0 Both Parents Mother Father 4.5 5.75 3.5 3.0 5.25 3.25 4.25 4.25 6.0 Early Recollections 5.5 3.75 5.75 Interpretation 6.5 Table 8 b 5.25 3.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Five: '. Elaine LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 3.2 8.1 5.5 6.1 4.7 4.6 5.3 9.5 3.6 7.5 5.4 5.8 Worst 11.0 8.4 9.7 9.4 9.2 9.5 Pleasant 4.5 5.1 4.0 6.0 6.0 3.6 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 7.6 9.1 4.9 7.1 7.4 7.7 5.1 9.0 6.7 8.1 9.0 7.4 Exciting 6.0 5.3 5.1 6.5 4.1 7.7 CHAPTER FOUR 85 small incidences that she re c a l l e d , amazed that she didn't remember more s i g n i f i c a n t events in her l i f e . It made her think of unimportant times that she shares with her children. Section on Early Recollections ERs Elaine reported being very engrossed while r e l a t i n g her re- c o l l e c t i o n s . She stated that during the cueing procedure she was expanding on the thoughts she had about them, and on one r e c o l l e c t i o n in p a r t i c u l a r . When asked what feelings she experienced, she talked about thoughts that she had concerning missing the good times and wishing she could r e l i v e them. Feelings were mentioned in response to the question regarding physical sensations. She again mentioned twinges which were related to a feeling of loss of good times which she can never r e l i v e . Yeah twinges again just sort of (pause) um l i k e the same kind of feelings you get when you've (pause) l o s t some—that's sort o f — n o t an empty f e e l i n g , far from that, but um (pause) sort of almost a desperate feeling that you know something was gone and you can't get i t back The thoughts that she had related to the importance of doing things i n l i f e no matter whether big or small. Reactions between Sessions Elaine reported being surprised that she talked about l i t t l e things in her l i f e rather than bigger events. Other than these thoughts she had no reactions. CHAPTER FOUR 86 Elaine r e a l l y looked forward to the second session be- cause she had f e l t ' l e f t up in the a i r ' from the f i r s t one and hoped to get some answers as to why she responded in the way that she did. Working toward the Interpretation She reported being very engrossed in the interpretation process, more engrossed in the second session than the f i r s t . She claimed to have been apprehensive about the f i r s t session because she was not sure what to expect, and quite confused about the answers that she gave. However, during the second session she thought that she had come to understand a great deal of what happened for her the previous week. She used the word "fascinating" several times during the process. It's r e a l l y been enlightening. It just fascinates me that someone can pick up on an hour's conversation and--and (pause) you know, the things that you were saying were exactly what I was thinking, you know. Again, she experienced mixed feelings, good feelings, feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and struggling. She expressed her fear of hearing the answers to questions she f e l t she might not be able to deal with yet. ....I think being a f r a i d of--of some of the answers coming out—not of you hearing them, but of me hearing them. um Things that I was r e a l i z i n g and wondering maybe I'm-- maybe I'm not (pause) quite ready to (pause) to actually admit t h i s , you know, I know i t ' s there but I've had i t bottled up for so long so I think--think there was a sort of a struggle going on (pause) as to just HOW MUCH I wanted to get from i t . CHAPTER FOUR 87 She was not aware of any physical sensations, but de- cribed herself as involved emotionally during the process. I don't r e a l l y pick up on th e — t h e physical end of i t somehow. I think I got r e a l l y tied up in i t emotionally and um (pause) wasn't r e a l l y aware of the physical end of i t . Ignoring her physical s e l f i s a pattern for her. ..I'm working so hard mentally and—and (pause) emotionally that--that (pause) physical i s neglected... The thoughts that she had involved her surprise at the l i t t l e events that she related. She did not f e e l able to put the de t a i l s of her l i f e into a bigger picture for herself. She said that she was now going to be more aware of the l i t t l e moments in her l i f e . Summary Elaine reported being neutral (neither engrossed or detached) while talking about her s i b l i n g s and herself. She was engrossed talking about her parents and very engrossed while r e l a t i n g the ERs. She was most engrossed while working toward the int e r p r e t a t i o n . During t h i s section she experienced a range of fe e l i n g s . There were 'good feelings' toward her s i s t e r , and mixed feelings while talking about her parents (love, hurt, fairness, anxiety, and warmth). Relating the ERs she experienced 'a lo s t f e e l i n g ' — 'a desperate f e e l i n g ' from having l o s t something that can never be regained. She experienced mixed feelings while working toward the interpretation, 'good feelings', 'anxiety, uncertainty, and struggling'. She also experienced fear of hearing the answers. CHAPTER FOUR 88 Elaine stated that she "could sort of r e l i v e everything" she was saying. The only physical sensations she experienced were "twinges" connected to the f e e l i n g of having l o s t something that could not be r e l i v e d . The thoughts that she had related to her current r e l a t i o n - ship with her s i s t e r and with her children. She also had thoughts about "doing things in l i f e no matter whether big or small". She reported no i n s i g h t s . The interpretation section on the a c t i v i t y (6.5) and potency (5.25) dimensions are rated higher than any of Elaine's movies. The rating of the section on mother (5.25) i s also higher in potency than any of her movies. On the evaluative dimension the l i f e style sections tend to be neutral to high. The section on s i b l i n g s and father are evaluated high. This indicates that Elaine f e e l s very positive towards these sections more positive than towards any of her movies. This supports her report of 'good feelings' toward her s i s t e r and 'no regrets' about their relationship but i s tempered by her report that she f e l t neutral during this section. It also supports her focused s t r i v i n g for attention from her father. Overall the l i f e s t yle sections tend to be moderately similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful or pleasant movie. This i s supported by the observed enjoyment of Elaine while p a r t i c i p a t i n g in the procedure as well as her use of the term 'fascinating' to describe the interpretation section. The linear distance measures also support the moderate s i m i l a r i t y of the l i f e s t yle sections to the experience CHAPTER FOUR 89 of the two types of movies. The l i f e style sections measure (3.2-5.5) from her personally meaningful movie and (3.6-6.0) from her pleasant movie. This analysis has had the impact of reinforcing certain concepts we have been working on in therapy and has had the e f f e c t of enhancing and speeding up the process of therapy s p e c i f i c a l l y in being able to see father as less than perfect and his expectations cum her own expection on herself as being u n r e a l i s t i c , frivolous and destructive. Elaine herself was placed in a mild state of psychological shock at the intensity of the insights provided and they had to be mediated over several sessions to be accepted and dealt with. Follow-up therapy was essential to prevent Elaine from either dismissing the new found knowledge or being traumatized by such. Therapist's Report (As written by Elaine's therapist) CHAPTER FOUR 90 Case Study Number Six: Fiona See Appendix L for audio-transcript Age: 35 Female Marital Status: Married, recently separated. Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 15 Presenting problem: Anorexia nervosa Referral source: Self Description of Fiona Fiona i s a short, very thin woman. She has short hair and large eyes. She came to each session carrying a drink. She smoked, although often she would just get a cigarette ready and hold i t (and her l i g h t e r ) without l i g h t i n g i t . Fiona appeared interested and eager to participate i n the l i f e style analysis. She spoke in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. She was very open, readily expanding on her answers. She frequently used qualifying expressions such as sort of, almost, and a l i t t l e b i t ; she often would not f i n i s h one sentence before sta r t i n g another. In the f i r s t session she usually referred to herself in the second person whereas in the second session she mostly referred to herself in the f i r s t person. She cried during both sessions. During the c o l l e c t i o n of the data involving her s i s t e r and herself, the interaction between us was normal. During the taking of the data concerning her parents she spoke even more quie t l y . She climbed up into the chair and sat on the arm of i t . She stared out of the window as she talked, almost oblivious of my presence. To me, she appeared to be in a world of her own, CHAPTER FOUR 91 v i s u a l i z i n g as she talked. She spoke very quietly with long pauses in the r e l a t i n g . During the r e l a t i n g of her third r e c o l l e c t i o n she experienced a strong response. She connected the fe e l i n g from that r e c o l l e c t i o n to the feeling she has about her current l i f e s i t u a t i o n . To her, the feelings were i d e n t i c a l . At t h i s point I began the interpretation process, connecting themes from the rec o l l e c t i o n s to her current l i f e ' s circumstanses and her family constellation data. She related one more re c o l l e c t i o n and the theme from i t was connected to the rest of the material. Following working together toward the interpre- tation and after the cueing procedure she answered the questions regarding talking about her s i b l i n g s and herself. The cueing procedure was repeated for the section concerning her parents. While she responded to the questions she developed an intense emotional state which she referred to as feeling "unreal". At this point I discontinued asking the research questions and asked her therapist to come into the session. Fiona talked with her therapist and myself, for approximately one half hour during which time she continued to s i t on the arm of the chair. Then the session was concluded and an appointment was arranged for the following week. When she l e f t her face was relaxed and softer looking. This session was four hours in length. That evening I telephoned her and talked with her for approximately one half hour. During this conversation she stated, "I f e e l d i f f e r e n t " . She appeared for the next session eager to p a r t i c i p a t e . She was asked to describe what l a s t week's session was l i k e for her. Then we worked through the interpreta- CHAPTER FOUR 92 tion process the second time. Following this I conducted the cueing procedure and asked the research questions for the sec- tions concerning her parents and the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . During the second session she interacted with me in a normal manner. She seemed very aware of my presence and did not stare out the window or at the wall. She did not have long pauses in her responses and spoke in her regular quiet voice. Family Constellation: Fiona's parents were in their mid-forties when their only children, twin g i r l s , were born. Fiona described herself as three minutes younger than her s i s t e r . S i s t e r : + 3 minutes Fiona: 35 L i f e Style Summary I am sensitive, hardworking, and conforming. I am considerate and try extremely hard to please others. I tend to be a perfec- t i o n i s t and I'm a b i t hard on myself. I'm l i k e a d o l l ; some- body's toy or possession. I am persistent, constantly trying to get out of l i f e ' s traps. Others are domineering and very d i f f i c u l t to please. They confine me and do what they want with me. L i f e i s a vicious trap. Therefore, I must always work to get out of the trap. I have no rights of my own because I am more l i k e somebody's dog. I con- centrate so hard on getting out of the traps that I don't know how to be free. Once out of a trap I w i l l throw myself back in CHAPTER FOUR 93 because I'm t e r r i f i e d of being free and alone. I need somebody to c l i n g to. Section on Siblings Fiona described herself as involved in this section but not as involved as she was during the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and i n t e r - pretation process. She reported having feelings of anger toward her s i s t e r and talked about strong competitive feelings i n regard to thinness. She experienced the anger in her chest. She also reported having a headache but was not clear whether she had i t during this section or i t developed l a t e r . She reported becoming aware of how she and her s i s t e r are fig h t i n g each other. She stated that she had been somewhat aware of their battle before, but going through th i s experience made this aspect of their relationship clearer. She said she f e l t l i k e phoning her s i s t e r at this point, having both love and hate feelings toward her. Section on Parents Fiona reported being very engrossed while talking about her parents. She described feelings of fear, anger, being trapped, helplessness, and g u i l t . She continued, talking about the g u i l t she f e l t now that her mother was dead and she was free. When asked about physical sensations she mentioned helpless- ness and fe e l i n g unreal. When asked further about the unreal fe e l i n g she responded that she f e l t " l i k e crawling into a corner". This feeling became very potent for her at this point. CHAPTER FOUR 94 Table 9 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Six: Fiona DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful 4.25 2.75 3.25 Best 5.0 4.0 2.25 Worst 2.5 2.75 1.5 Pleasant 6.0 4.5 6.25 Run-of-the-mill 4.25 3.75 3.5 Frightening 3.5 2.75 2.5 Exciting 3.25 4.25 5.25 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 4.75 2.75 3.0 Both Parents 3.5 3.25 3.0 Mother 3.75 4.5 4.75 Father 3.0 4.5 4.75 Early Recollections 3.25 3.75 3.0 Interpretation 3.75 3.25 3.25 Table 9 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Six: Fiona LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personsally Meaningful Best 5.4 7.2 6.2 8.2 7.9 9.7 9.3 8.8 7.7 6.8 8.1 8.7 Worst 6.6 4.9 10.0 9.8 7.9 6.5 Pleasant 10.3 10.9 8.8 9.1 9.8 11.5 Run-of- the-mill Frightening 5.8 5.9 5.6 7.1 8.5 10.1 6.2 7.8 8.7 7.1 6.2 7.8 Exciting 7.9 8.0 9.5 4.5 9.2 7.4 CHAPTER FOUR 95 Because i t was not clear to me what was causing the unreal feelings, I asked her i f she was feeling trapped in the session with me. She stated the opposite, that she f e l t safe in the counselling sessions and was a f r a i d to leave. She was concerned that she might be crazy. Fiona, "Yeah, I don't (pause) f e e l r e a l . Can you understand?" Investigator, "Yes. Can I help you f e e l real? Is there anything I can do to help you f e e l r e a l ? " Subject, "Am I crazy?" Investigator, "No." Subject, "What happened?" Fiona experienced a few momemts of not feeling that she was a real person. I reassured her that she was not crazy and framed the a b i l i t y to l i v e in d i f f e r e n t worlds as the mechanism she used to cope with her abusive childhood. She responded to this by t e l l i n g about the fantasy world she had created for herself as a c h i l d . She then continued, describing herself as close to a breaking point. Fiona, "I f e e l safe here. I don't f e e l safe any place else. I'm being very honest. I'm near a--I don't know i f I'm near a breaking point." Investigator, "You're fe e l i n g desperate." Fiona, "DESPERATE! That's i t ! I want to go on but I want to have to be strong, but how long do you keep on being (pause) before you (long pause) . " As I was a stranger to her I decided to ask her therapist to talk CHAPTER FOUR 96 with her at this point. I decided she needed to have contact with someone who sees her on an ongoing basis. In the second session after the interpretation process, I used the cued memory technique and asked the research questions for the two sections that had not been completed in the previous session. She again mentioned anger, this time she included pity which related to how her parents had l i v e d their l i f e through her. It was not clear whether the pity she f e l t was for her parents or for herself. She reported feeling upset which was related to the g u i l t she f e l t in regard to her parents. She further described her upsetness as shakiness a l l over and as a knot in her stomach. When asked about thoughts and insights, she reported having several insights in regard to her family dynamics. One was that her parents were more l i k e wardens than parents. Another was the degree to which the three of them (Fiona, s i s t e r , and father) had l i v e d trying to prevent her mother from exploding. The t h i r d was that her father s a c r i f i c e d her welfare to prevent her mother from exploding. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) This section includes an interpretation segment and thus does not pertain only to the ERs. Fiona reported being quite engrossed while r e l a t i n g her early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . When asked to elaborate on what 'quite engrossed' meant to her she stated, "It became very aware to me, you know, how I f e l t — a l m o s t l i k e I was almost r e l i v i n g i t " . She described the feelings that occurred for her, "sort of helpless- ness,um—captive, a dark sort of f e e l i n g , sort of a dark haze..." CHAPTER FOUR 97 While she was re l a t i n g the l a s t early r e c o l l e c t i o n she spoke of the concern that she had had before coming to the s e s s i o n — t h a t she might become scared during the l i f e style analysis. She cried at this point. When asked about physical reactions she talked of a sad hurtf u l f e e l i n g . At f i r s t , she described i t as a l l over her body. She was rubbing her throat as she talked and then put her hand on her chest at the bottom of her rib cage and stated that she f e l t i t there. The thoughts that she had were of how unreal her childhood had been, and of the three d i f f e r e n t worlds in which she had been l i v i n g . She stated that at one point she got very confused as to which world was real for her. It almost seems u n r e a l — i t was an unreal childhood, and l i k e you say, l i v i n g in three d i f f e r e n t worlds and--you know, t h a t — s o r t of a p l a s t i c sort of-- a mold and uh came to a point there I didn't know which world I was i n . She stated that t h i s was the f i r s t time that she had ever per- ceived her l i f e in th i s way. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Fiona reported that she f e l t dazed and wandered around after the session. She met with a friend immediately after the session but she f e l t so drained that she arranged for her friend's husband to drive her home. Once home she found i t d i f f i c u l t to continue her normal routine. I got home and I couldn't r e a l l y (pause) found i t hard to get everything back together, you know what I mean, l i k e t h e — t o get your- s e l f in the r i t u a l — i n t o r i t u a l and every- CHAPTER FOUR 98 thing a l l seem to be out o f — l i f e seemed to be a l i t t l e b i t a l l mixed up. ...by the time I got i t a l l together i t was a l i t t l e b i t late but i t was sort of l i k e you were trying to get everything (pause) straight in your head again. When asked to elaborate on how she f e l t d i f f e r e n t after the session she stated that she saw the world d i f f e r e n t l y and f e l t r e l i e f at understanding how she came to be the person she was. A l i t t l e dazed but a l i t t l e b i t relieved — a l i t t l e b i t more—so much more in touch with myself (pause) that i t was l i k e — I knew how I got from point A to point B. That's a b i t scary. Then you start doubting yourself a b i t . You know, maybe i t a l l didn't happen. Sort of l i k e a dream and I (pause) but I could actually see how I got from there to here. She stated that she had come to a f u l l r e a l i z a t i o n of how she had l i v e d i n traps a l l her l i f e . She was so used to being in traps she tended to put herself in them because i t was too scary for her to be free. She also talked about herself as a person who would take a r i s k and t h i s was discussed as a resource that she has. She described herself as being "a l i t t l e b i t scared but excited" about coming for the second session because she wondered what more she might find out about herself. Working toward the Interpretation The interpretation process was carried out as outlined in the methodology. Fiona described herself as 'quite' engrossed as we worked through the interpretation process. When asked what feelings she experienced she mentioned having "a r e a l i z a t i o n of what happened" CHAPTER FOUR 99 to her and feelings of pity for "her". It was not clear to whom she was r e f e r r i n g . She also stated that the feeling of unreal- ness occurred to her again in this session. Like I hadn't been r e a l , l i k e something f r a g i l e — l i k e a — l i k e a d o l l , you know what that i s — t h a t ' s (pause) not human. In a way I haven't r e a l l y f e l t too human a l l my l i f e , you know, more of a possession or somebody's toy. She stated that she found the second session "even a b i t more scary" because i t involved talking about being free from traps. She experienced a f e e l i n g of panic at the thought of being free. Panic, yeah, l i k e I've been in other people's-- I haven't been me—I've been part of my Mom part o f — y o u know—Now i t ' s scarry to think of getting out. The scared feeling she had she experienced as shakiness a l l over. She also f e l t "anger i s sort of inside" because she f e l t discarded and also because people had expectations of her to recover and she was not confident that she could. I f e e l sort of used and l i k e thrown away. Like something that's been kept, no good anymore, throw i t out and now what does i t do, i t ' s been so overly used, (laugh) How does i t get i t s e l f back together to start a l l — y o u know what I mean. And yet i t ' s expected of you. Somebody says I know you can do—and at times I f e e l l i k e saying heck maybe I c a n ' t — t o h e l l with i t a l l , you know. The thoughts she had during this process concerned her fears for the future. Am I so t e r r i f i e d of the unknown that I'm-- fe e l safer to be i n (pause) this (pause) t e r r i f i e d of f a i l u r e — t e r r i f i e d that what CHAPTER FOUR 100 i f I go out there and I don't make i t , you know that (pause) um many years ahead, I don't want to concentrate too far—OK I — I look ahead, OK I've got—I'm gonna l i v e to 80, r e a l l y what's (pause) got no family, so even i f you get a job that's— b u t at least I've got to have that, you know. She reported having an insight of the need for her to believe that she i s free now. That I um—I don't believe I'm r e a l l y — you know, I guess I've got to start believing i t myself more—that I'm free. Summary Fiona was very engrossed in a l l sections of the l i f e s tyle analysis but was most engrossed during the re l a t i n g of the ERs and working toward the in t e r p r e t a t i o n . The feelings she experienced ranged from anger and competitive feeling with her s i s t e r to a desperate f e e l i n g of 'almost at a breaking point'. Other feelings were pity, scared, fear, trapped, helplessness, and a 'dark sort of f e e l i n g ' . Fiona experienced various physical sensations the strongest a f e e l i n g of 'unreal'. She also f e l t anger in her chest, and a 'sad h u r t f u l ' f e e l i n g at the bottom of her r i b cage. She had a knot in her stomach, a headache, and was shaky a l l over. The thoughts she had related to past family dynamics and current relationship dynamics with her s i s t e r . She had a major insight in that she perceived her l i f e in an e n t i r e l y new way. In a c t i v i t y , potency, and evaluative dimensions ratings range from moderately negative to moderately p o s i t i v e . The moderate and neutral ratings contradict the observed behaviors of Fiona and her reports of her experiences. The linear distance CHAPTER FOUR 101 scores show the l i f e style sections measuring, o v e r a l l , closest to a run-of-the-mill movie; ratings tend to be similar and moder- ately similar to the experience of this movie (5.6-8.7). These measures also contradict Fiona's behavior and s e l f - r e p o r t s . The observed behaviour of Fiona during the l i f e s tyle analysis ( i . e . climbing up into the chair and staring out the window as she talked) contradicts the moderate and neutral potency ratings (2.75-4.5). Her behavior, the strong physical sensations she reported, as well as her statements of f e e l i n g "unreal" and " r e l i v i n g " childhood events indicate that the sections on parents, early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , and interpretation were very potent experiences for her. Overall, the experiences of the l i f e s tyle analysis were not l i k e the experiences of watching any of her movies. This i n d i - cates that the experience of the l i f e s tyle analysis was a d i f f - erent kind of experience, perhaps one in which she f e l t l i k e herself which, to her, f e l t 'unreal*. Therapist's Report (As written by Fiona's therapist) Going through the l i f e style analysis has had a major impact on Fiona. I n i t i a l l y the impact was both immense and immediate in that Fiona a c t i v e l y regressed during the session and I had to be called in to help bring her back into the r e a l i t y of here and now. Further, the impact was also very long l a s t i n g in that the information obtained led to indepth and intense sessions over the following six months, dealing with both the process i t s e l f of the analysis and the information obtained. This has led to Fiona making s i g n i f i c a n t progress in therapy and in her daily l i v i n g CHAPTER FOUR 102 conditions. It i s important to consider that the insights obtained by the analysis were poignant and extremely intense i n their impact and that the therapeutic sessions following the analysis were, in my opinion, absolutely v i t a l to Fiona's surviving the powerful onslaught of the insights provided. CHAPTER FOUR 103 Case Study Number Seven: Ginny See Appendix M for audio-transcript Age: 31 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 25 Presenting problem: Husband had sexually approached a c h i l d Ginny was babysitting. Ginny was referred to the incest group as she had been sexually abused as a c h i l d . Referral source: Ministry of Human Resources Description of Ginny Ginny i s a mildly plump woman of average height. She wears her hair in a short curly fashion, and dresses i n a tidy casual s t y l e . She i s a pleasant mannered, soft-spoken woman. She main- tained normal eye-contact throughout the f i r s t session and during the l a t t e r part of the second session. She appeared shy and/or apprehensive at the beginning of the f i r s t session and distraught at the end of i t . For the second session she appeared worried. She participated in an open manner in the giving of the l i f e style data. Throughout the f i r s t session her voice was soft and her manner subdued. As the session progressed her voice became softer and long pauses occurred during the re l a t i n g of the data, particuarly during the description of her parents and grandparents, and the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . During the answering of the research questions she began to cry and became more and more depressed. At the end of the session another appointment was arranged after which she immediately saw her therapist. CHAPTER FOUR 104 Her therapist reported that Ginny was depressed as a result of rel a t i n g the l i f e s t yle data. Ginny did not keep the appointment for the next session and said that she did not remember making one. A second appoint- ment was made which Ginny kept, two weeks after the f i r s t session. At the beginning of the second session Ginny spoke of being depressed. After discussing how she f e l t I told her she could discontinue the session now i f she wanted. She chose to continue. I began the interpretation by verbally drawing a picture of her family and her early years, and I discussed what i t must have been l i k e for her to grow up in this family. Then a theme from a r e c o l l e c t i o n was shared and discussed with her. This was connected to another r e c o l l e c t i o n with a similar theme. In one r e c o l l e c t i o n she accidently k i l l e d a creature as she was en- joying herself and other children tormented her because of i t . In the other, she accidently injured a family pet as she picked i t up and her si b l i n g s blamed her when their mother gave the pet away. At this point she began to cry and connected what was being said to an incident which happened to her e a r l i e r that day, regarding her s i s t e r harming a mouse. She cried more as she related this incident and talked of the cruelty of people. Then her crying became deep choking sobs, and she continued to cry uncontrollably for approximately one and a half hours. I held her during t h i s time, sometimes talking to her validating her pain, and sometimes just rocking her. When her crying subsided we then discussed how she perceived and coped with her unhappy CHAPTER FOUR 105 and abusive childhood. I asked her therapist to come in toward the end of the session and she stayed for approximately one half hour. During th i s time the therapist, Ginny, and myself d i s - cussed issues which were related to the l i f e style analysis. After the therapist l e f t Ginny was asked the research questions regarding what she had just experienced. The session was approx- imately four hours in length. When Ginny l e f t her face looked sof t , smooth, and relaxed. At nine o'clock that evening I telephoned Ginny, as arranged during the session, and talked with her for almost one hour. She was calm, introspective, and described herself as "drained". Family Constellation Ginny grew up with her natural parents. She i s the second of seven s i b l i n g s . Her grandparents l i v e d next door and were very i n f l u e n t i a l in her psychological development. S i s t e r : + 2 Ginny: 31 Brother: - 3 Si s t e r : - 6 S i s t e r : - 8 S i s t e r : - 10 Brother: - 12 L i f e Style summary I am hard working, sensitive, and r e b e l l i o u s . Whenever I relax and be myself or try to get my needs met the consequences are disastrous. I am caring but I am confused about people. I cannot understand why they are l i k e they are. I am helpless and vulnerable. I am the good one of the family. Others are mean, cruel , and uncaring. They are always lashing CHAPTER FOUR out. They torment me and abandon me. advantage of me. 106 Men are violent and take L i f e i s violent and dangerous. Therefore i f I concentrate I can r i s e above the cruelty of others and avoid their h i t s and blows. I am able to cope and do what I want by pretending to be asleep. Therefore I must always con- centrate in order to survive. I am a loner, but incredibly lonely. Section on Siblings Ginny reported feelings of sadness and loss because her s i b l i n g and herself are not close. She expressed deep caring for a l l her brothers and s i s t e r s and blamed her mother for causing the l o s s . She expressed confusion as to why i t had to be that way. As she talked about her caring for her si b l i n g s and about her loss, her eyes were moist and she f e l t " t i g h t " . She had her hand at the base of her neck. She thought that i f her mother and s i b l i n g s only knew what loss i s they would be able to love others. . . . i f they knew what i t was to lose something or somebody, then they could—they could have i t in here. (Hand on chest) You know, they could--they could f e e l . Because of the great loss that she feels she has experienced, (loss of her s i b l i n g s , her parents, her family) she has had s u i c i d a l tendencies. I guess I've (pause) wanted to die for so many years. I guess that (pause) I've come so close to hurting myself (pause). CHAPTER FOUR 107 Table 10 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Seven: Ginny DIMENSIONS Movies Personally Meaningful Best ACTIVITY 3.25 4.0 POTENCY 3.75 3.25 EVALUATIVE 4.0 3.0 Worst Pleasant 2.5 2.5 4.25 2.25 4.75 7.0 Run-of-the-mill 4.0 4.0 3.5 Frightening Exciting 6.5 5.75 3.75 4.5 1.0 2.75 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 5.0 4.75 3.0 Both Parents Mother Father 4.0 4.25 4.25 4.25 4.0 3.75 2.5 3.0 2.5 Early Recollections 5.0 3.5 2.75 Interpretation 6.0 Table 10 B 3.25 1.25 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Ginny LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS ; BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 6.6 3.5 7.1 3.5 5.6 3.2 6.5 3.0 6.4 2.8 9.7 6.4 Worst 7.8 7.9 7.8 7.9 8.2 12.3 Pleasant 12.7 13.4 12.2 12.7 12.3 16.1 Run-of the-mill Frightening 4.1 6.3 5.2 7.1 4.4 7.5 4.5 6.9 3.6 6.9 8.4 3.9 Exciting 6.1 4.6 5.6 5.7 6.2 7.5 CHAPTER FOUR 108 Section on Parents As she talked about her parents, Ginny described herself as "very engrossed, yeah, I was r e a l l y into them, yeah". Feelings of anger and resentment came up as she thought of how they would handle the children. She could v i s u a l i z e her father's violence and she experienced wanting to cu r l up. I f e l t l i k e curling up. (long pause) That's what I would do. I would curl up. She expressed her lack of understanding in regard to how her parents could have raised their children the way they did, with so much abuse and unhappiness. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Ginny described herself as "very engrossed" while r e l a t i n g her ERs. She expressed feelings of sadness and confusion. Many questions occurred to her. I don't know where the happiness i s . . . I wondered why? Why—why a l l these (pause) It seemed so negative, and I don't under- stand why. Why did the toad die? What did I do? What was I (pause) you know, I was r e a l l y being c a r e f u l . Why--why--why would I remember these things a l l so v i v i d l y ? It occurred to her while she related her ERs that she has not been able to "set aside" her t e r r i b l e childhood; she i s s t i l l greatly upset by i t . She experienced the same physical sensation that she had in her recurring dream. I could almost—I could f e e l their grabbing at me when I'm up there. Yeah, I could (pause) CHAPTER FOUR 109 I f e e l the (pause) touch l i k e just (pause) but I did in my dreams too. I just f e l t them. She stated that she did not have any insigh t s . Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Ginny stated that after the session she thought about her own family and her husband's family. Questions occurred to her regarding her marriage, and she experienced "a l o t of hate fe e l i n g s " . She talked of having become depressed but lacked understanding as to the cause of the depression. I guess I r e a l l y LOOKED at my family, you know I looked at them i n d i v i d u a l l y when I l e f t and I t r i e d to compare me to them, to r e a l l y see where I was di f f e r e n t or where I was the same and whatnot. But I f e e l l i k e I've r e a l l y gone down into a real depression and I don't know why. Ginny stated that she " f e l t better" about coming to work toward the interpretation because i t was on an ind i v i d u a l basis. She stated that she had always wanted to talk to someone about her d i f f i c u l t childhood but found i t d i f f i c u l t in a group situ a t i o n because of the strong message from her parents to 'Keep your mouth shut'. She talked of her feelings when she comes for therapy sessions. ...when I come in here (pause) I just f e e l l i k e a l i t t l e g i r l , and I f e l t scared... Working toward the Interpretation Ginny f e l t t o t a l l y engrossed while going through th i s process. At the point when she was answering the questions she f e l t t o t a l l y l o s t and not belonging anywhere. She expressed her wish to be close to her husband. CHAPTER FOUR 110 I f e e l l i k e I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I f e e l (pause) l o s t . She experienced being back in her childhood with the same feelings as she had then. As she related these feelings more memories occurred to her in regard to her parents, as well as feelings of resentment toward them. She recalled the fear of unjust punishment. I just f e l t l i k e I was back home. Fel t so unloved (long pause) l o s t , t o t a l l y l o s t . F e a r — f e a r that overtook anything because (pause) i f you did something wrong (pause) no matter how small i t was, the end resu l t was so severe. Some- thing would happen i f you l e t yourself go... She also had feelings of pity for herself, " f e l t sorry for me". She connected her pity to her concern for her children, and spoke of her protectiveness of them. While she was crying, her chest was hurting and her head f e l t l i k e i t was going to explode. Later, after the sobbing had terminated, she described her head as "buzzing". By the end of the session the buzzing had stopped. She stated that she was unable to function at home because she f e l t so pushed back by the f i r s t session. I can't function at home, I don't know why, I thought I'd come a long way. I f e e l r e a l l y pushed BACK again. She reported that she frequently has periods of fee l i n g t h i s way after periods of feeling a l r i g h t . She related to the metaphor of 'walking a tightrope' which I used to describe these periods. CHAPTER FOUR 111 Summary Ginny was very engrossed throughout the l i f e s tyle analysis. She was most engrossed during the inter p r e t a t i o n . She had many negative feelings ranging from confusion to fee l i n g t o t a l l y l o s t . Other feelings included sadness, loss, anger, resentment, unloved, pity for herself, and fear, She also experienced many physical sensations ranging from moist eyes to deep violent prolonged sobbing. Other sensations she experienced were tightness, her chest hurting, her head feel i n g l i k e i t was going to explode, buzzing in her head, and her parents grabbing at her legs. The thoughts she had related to suicide, and her lack of understanding at how her parents could raise so many children i n such an abusive atmosphere. She reported no ins i g h t s . The l i f e style sections tend to be neutral in potency (3.25- 4.75), very similar to the potency of a l l of her movies with the exception of her pleasant one (2.25). These ratings do not support Ginny's behavior. The depressed behavior Ginny exhibited as a result of the data c o l l e c t i o n sessions and her strong reaction during the interpretation indicate that a l l the l i f e s t yle sections were very potent experiences. On the a c t i v i t y dimension the sections on si b l i n g s (5.0), early r e c o l l e c t i o n s (5.0) and interpretation (6.0) were high, similar to her frightening (6.5) and exciting (5.75) movies. The sections involving the c o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e style data tend to be evaluated low (2.5-3.0), indicating that they were negative experiences for Ginny. This supports the distress the f i r s t CHAPTER FOUR 112 session was observed to cause her and her own statements of depression as a res u l t of the data c o l l e c t i o n session. The interpretation session was evaluated very low (1.25). This supports that i t was a very negative experience for her, very similar to her experience of watching a frightening movie (1.0). The li n e a r distance score for the interpretation section (3.9) also measures very close to her frightening movie. This supports Ginny's observed behavior and reported experiences of the inte r p r e t a t i o n . Her l i f e style indicates that she must always concentrate in order to survive and whenever she does not, the consequences are disastrous. For Ginny, crying uncontrollably for a long time would be the disastrous consequences of not concentrating and of meeting her own needs. Understandably t h i s would be a very frightening experience for her. A l l the data c o l l e c t i n g sections measured very close to the experience of watching her best movie (2.8-3.5). This indicates that Ginny was very involved during these sections and matches her statements of her experience, p a r t i c u l a r l y of the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s during which she said she could v i s u a l i z e her father's violence and could f e e l her parents grabbing at her legs. These scores, indicating intense involvement, also match the observed involvement of Ginny as she participated in the data c o l l e c t i o n sessions; the non-verbal behavior Ginny displayed indicated that she became more and more depressed during these l i f e style sections. Overall, p a r t i c i p a t i n g in the l i f e style sections, particu- l a r l y the interpretation was very similar to Ginny's watching a CHAPTER FOUR 113 frightening movie. Therapist's Report (As written by Ginny's therapist) Ginny i s more relaxed and less depressed. She has more insight in regard to her negative view of l i f e and her power to change things. She has shown more positive, persistant, and assertive behaviors. She shows a willingness to face people of whom she was af r a i d before. Repressed anger i s surfacing, and she i s r e l a t i n g new memories of other people in her l i f e . CHAPTER FOUR 114 CASE STUDY NUMBER EIGHT: HAL See Appendix N for audio-transcript Age : 24 Male Marital Status: Single Months in therapy at this c l i n i c : 14 Presenting Problem: Over-anxiety Referral Source: Self Family Constellation Hal l i v e d with his natural mother and father. He i s the youngest of three sons. Brother: + 12 Brother: + 10 Hal: 24 Li f e Style Summary I am i n t e l l i g e n t , a t t r a c t i v e , and curious. I am spoiled and l i k e to have my own way. I am also conforming and try to please others. I am l i t t l e , helpless, somewhat high strung, and sens i t i v e . I am extremely ambitious; i f I do something out- standing I impress others. Others are strong and way ahead of me. They s p o i l me, but s t i f l e my cur i o u s i t y . Men have i t a l l together, they are i n t e l l i g e n t , rugged, and easy-going. Women are emotional, somewhat highstrung and very independent; they look down on me and i n h i b i t me. L i f e i s scarry. It i s l i k e a corridor, narrow and r e s t r i c t i n g . I am forced to walk down i t to get immunization 'shots', and then I am rewarded. CHAPTER FOUR 115 Therefore I am always trying to catch up to everyone else. I get others to s p o i l and protect me by seeming weak. This puts me in a bind because I can't impress others by seeming weak. I belong by impressing others, but in order to do so I have to produce something outstanding. I can occasionally do this but I often give up and don't try any more; thus I usually f e e l l e f t out. The only way I can handle women i s to r e a l l y impress them. Mainly, I go down the corridor of l i f e , and suffer through l i f e ' s painful events so I can get the goodies. Description of Hal Hal i s a quiet reserved man, slim and at t r a c t i v e in appearance. He spoke in a quiet tone, sat in a relaxed manner, and maintained normal eye contact throughout both sessions. Hal responded to the c o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e style data and interpre- tation process i n a calm cooperative manner. The information that he gave was brief and to the point. He elaborated when asked, but even then he kept his answers b r i e f . He appeared somewhat detached, and unemotional throughout both sessions. He missed the f i r s t appointment for the interpretation apparently for employment reasons, and thus there was a two week i n t e r v a l between sessions. Section on Siblings Hal reported being quite engrossed while talking about his brothers and himself. He reported feeling envious of his brothers and experienced sensations of "more tightened" and "more constricted" a l l over his body. He had thoughts about not CHAPTER FOUR 116 Table 11 A A c t i v i t y , Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Eight: Hal DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 4.75 4.75 5.5 5.25 3.0 4.0 Worst Pleasant . 4.5 4.25 2.75 3.75 3.25 5.0 Run-of-the-mill 5.75 5.75 5.0 Frightening Exciting 4.5 5.5 5.0 5.75 2.25 5.25 L i f e Style Sections Siblings 3.75 3.75 2.75 Both Parents Mother Father 5.0 3.25 5.5 5.25 3.5 5.25 5.25 3.5 3.25 Early Recollections 3.75 3.25 3.0 Interpretation 4.75 Table 11 B 4.0 4.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Eight • Hal LIFE STYLE : SIBLINGS Movies BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally 5.5 Meaningful Best 6.9 5.7 5.1 6.2 6.9 3.3 4.7 6. 6. 1 6 5.9 5.5 Worst 5.9 7.9 5.9 7.6 4. 9 6.5 Pleasant 7.4 5.7 5.9 6.8 7. 1 5.7 Run-of-the-mill 8.5 4.0 7.9 4.9 9. 1 5.5 Frightening 4.2 6.4 5.3 3.6 5. 2 6.6 Exciting 9.2 4.2 8.4 5.7 9. 5 6.6 CHAPTER FOUR 117 feel i n g a "part of the family", that he didn't "quite f i t i n " . These thoughts were not new to him. Section on Both Parents Hal reported that he was t o t a l l y engrossed while talking about his parents. He experienced a range of feelings, sadness, loss, anger, and happiness, as well as the same ove r a l l tightness in his body. He had thoughts about his brothers' involvement in bringing him up and thoughts about the relationship between his mother and his father. Section on Early Recollections Hal reported being very involved while r e l a t i n g his ERs. He had feelings of trying to please, anger, and h o s t i l i t y . He experienced the same sensation of c o n s t r i c t i o n . The thoughts he had were about the degree of h o s t i l i t y he had as a c h i l d ; i t was new information for him to r e a l i z e that he had this h o s t i l i t y as a young c h i l d . He had been aware of i t in his adolescence and adulthood, but not in early childhood. Reactions between Sessions Hal reported that he did not experience any reactions or have any thoughts after the i n i t i a l session. He considered going through the interpretation process would be "just a normal session". Working toward the Interpretation Hal reported being very involved while going through this process. He had feelings of curiousity, anger, sadness, and CHAPTER FOUR 118 f r u s t r a t i o n . He f e l t that he had missed out on being a c h i l d , and would l i k e to get more in touch with that part of his l i f e . He experienced a t i n g l i n g sensation which he said he had experienced before when he was "grossly s e l f - i n v o l v e d " . Summary While p a r t i c i p a t i n g in the l i f e style analysis, Hal ranged from feeling quite engrossed while discussing his brothers and himself to "grossly s e l f - i n v o l v e d " while working toward the i n - terpretation. He reported being t o t a l l y engrossed while talking about his parents and very engrossed while r e l a t i n g the ERs. Hal experienced a range of feelings, envy, sadness, loss, anger, happiness, trying to please, h o s t i l i t y , c u r i o s i t y , and f r u s t r a t i o n . Physically he had sensations of tightness and con s t r i c t i o n a l l over his body during the c o l l e c t i o n of the l i f e style data, and a t i n g l i n g sensation a l l over his body while working toward the interpretation. His thoughts related to his past family relationship dynamics and to a desire to get more i n touch with the exper- iences of his early years. He reported one i n s i g h t — r e a l i z i n g the degree of h o s t i l i t y he had as a young c h i l d . Ratings of the L i f e style sections range from mildly negative to mildly positive on a l l dimensions of meaning, indicating moderate to neutral experiences for Hal. This i s supported by the observation of Hal as he seemed to have no v i s i b l e reactions during the procedure. Linear distance measures also indicate a narrow range of distances which f a i l to CHAPTER FOUR 119 di f f e r e n t i a t e between experiences. For example, the range of distances of the interpretation section from movies i s 5.5 to 6.6. Comparison of the interpretation section to any movie experience i s inappropriate within such narrow l i m i t s . Overall the l i f e style analysis i s not comparable to the experience of watching any of his movies. The interpretation section compares to the experience of watching a pleasant movie as the ratings of this section on a l l dimensions ( a c t i v i t y : 4.75, potency: 4.0, and evaluative: 4.75) are very close to the ratings of his pleasant movie ( a c t i v i t y : 4.25, potency: 3.75, and evaluative: 5.0). This supports his report of the t i n g l i n g sensation he experienced during this section. Therapist's Report (As written by Hal's therapist) This i s d i f f i c u l t to assess in a c l i e n t such as Hal, as he i s by nature taciturn and indulges infrequently i n s e l f - d i s - closure. It i s s i g n i f i c a n t that the insights gained have altered the focus of therapy from an examination of his relationship with his father, to an examination of the roots of his shy, helpless l i f e style in the context of the entire family. I f e e l t h i s i s a much more f r u i t f u l area of concern for therapy and Hal has made some major adjustments in his shy s e l f - d e f l a t i n g behaviors. I fe e l Hal has f e l t quite self-conscious about the analysis and i n i t i a l l y had trouble digesting the information. He possibly might have been tempted to disregard the self knowledge gained were i t not for our continued emphasis on the material obtained. CHAPTER FIVE 120 CHAPTER FIVE DESCRIPTIVE ANALYSIS OF RESULTS Preface In this chapter comparisons are drawn from the data provided by the eight single case studies. The results are compared in six areas. These areas are involvement, feelings, physical sensations, thoughts and insights, reactions between sessions, and quality of experience. Tables are used wherever possible to f a c i l i t a t e comparison. In addition an unanticipated result i s presented and described. Area of Involvement Table 12 The degree to which subjects reported themselves engrossed in the l i f e style sections L i f e Style SUBJECTS Sections A B C D E F G H Siblings V E E E D N V E V E Q E Parents V E E E E E V E V E T E ERs M E M E M E D V E M E V E V E Inter- pretation M E M E M E V E M E M E M E T E E: engrossed D: detached N: neutral V: very T: t o t a l l y M: more engrossed Q: quite CHAPTER FIVE 121 A l l subjects were engrossed through most of the l i f e style a nalysis. Donna f e l t detached during the sections on s i b l i n g s and early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Elaine f e l t neutral during the section on s i b l i n g s . Subjects, with two exceptions, tended to be engrossed during the section on s i b l i n g s and become more engrossed as they discussed their parents. As mentioned previously Donna f e l t detached and Elaine neutral during the section on s i b l i n g s . A l l subjects tend to be very engrossed while discussing their parents. Hal described himself as t o t a l l y engrossed during t h i s section. Of the three data c o l l e c t i o n sections subjects, with two exceptions, report themselves most engrossed during the re l a t i n g of their early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Donna described herself as detached during this section but mentions that t h i s may because she had previously discussed her ERs with her therapist. At that time she had found them to be 'devastating' which suggests that she was most engrossed the f i r s t time she discussed her r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Hal reported he was t o t a l l y engrossed while discussing his parents. A l l subjects tend to be more engrossed while working toward the interpretation than during any of the data taking sections. Area of feelings See Tables 13 & 14 A l l subjects, with one exception, reported experiencing feel i n g s . Donna reported having no feelings during the segment on early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . As mentioned previously when Donna f i r s t discussed her ERs she experienced them as 'devastating' indicating that at least the f i r s t time ERs are CHAPTER FIVE 1 2 2 related strong feelings are experienced. A l l subjects experienced a variety of fee l i n g s . A l l subjects experienced positive and negative feelings but the majority of the feelings were negative. Three subjects, Hal, Carl, and Elaine, experienced a range of feelings from very negative feelings such as h o s t i l i t y , helplessness, and desperation, to very positive feelings, such as happiness, joy, and love. Five subjects reported mainly very negative feelings with one positive f e e l i n g . For example, Betty experienced many negative feelings such as anger, re j e c t i o n , sadness, fear, and 'in a bind' during the data taking segments with only one positive f e e l i n g , that of feeling understood, during the inte r p r e t a t i o n . The most common feelings, anger and sadness, were reported by six subjects. Donna and Elaine did not report these feelings but this could be due to their being unaware of them. Donna i s detached from her feelings and r e l i e s on her thinking a b i l i t i e s . Elaine focuses on small perfect events in her l i f e , ignoring her feelings of neglect. Five subjects f e l t fear. For four subjects the fear was related to f e a r f u l events i n their childhood. For two subjects i t related to their fear of hearing answers to their s i t u a t i o n because they were not sure they could handle them. Four subjects reported, in di f f e r e n t ways, fee l i n g l e f t out--Betty f e l t 'on the outside' of si b l i n g s and 'uncared' for by parents, Carl f e l t excluded, Ginny f e l t she didn't belong, and Hal f e l t he didn't f i t i n . Loss was mentioned by four subjects. There were feelings mentioned by two or three subjects; 3 f e l t sorry for a member of the family or themselves, 3 f e l t hurt, CHAPTER FIVE 123 TABLE 13 Feelings reported by Subjects A - D during each section of the l i f e style analysis. SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna L i f e Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre- tation anger, confusion anger, sadness, confusion, surprise anger, f r i g h - tened embarr- assed , exposed sadness, feels 'on the outside' anger, sadness, frust r a t i o n , rejected or set aside same fee- lings as in ERs—sad, close to family sorry for one missed family, sister,mixed- envy towards up about wife.melancholy another t r i e d to keep emotionally un- involved, missed out, sorry for Mom mixed emotions helplessness, joy, warmth, upset,afraid excluded bind,unable to put into words, understood anger at se l f and l i f e , hurt, sadness, discouraged regret? numb none embarressed, exposed, excited, CHAPTER FIVE 124 TABLE 14 Feelings reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal 'good anger,strong sadness & envious of feelings', competative loss, deep brothers, 'no re- feelings, caring for not f i t t i n g grets' love & hate s i b l i n g s , in for s i s t e r confusion mixed fear,anger anger, sadness, fe e l i n g s - trapped, resentment, loss , love , hurt helplessness, f e l t l i k e , anger, fairness? g u i l t , p i t y , curling up happiness anxiety, desperate— warmth, near breaking surprise point desperate helplessness, sadness, trying to feeling captive, confusion please, of loss dark f e e l i n g , anger, sadness, h o s t i l i t y hurt L i f e Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre- mixed,'good pity, panic, tation feelings, scared,anger, anxiety discarded, uncertainty l o t expected struggling, of her fear of the answers t o t a l l y l o s t , c u r i o s i t y , doesn't belong, anger, sad- unloved, fear, ness, f r u s — pity for s e l f t r a t i o n , missed out on childhood CHAPTER FIVE 125 2 f e l t frustrated, 2 f e l t embarrassed and exposed, 2 f e l t helplessness, and 2 f e l t surprised. Other feelings were mentioned by only 1 of the subjects, such as understood, joy, c u r i o s i t y , anxiety, love, competitive, unloved, and numb. One subject, Betty, spontaneously reported that she experienced the same feelings during the r e l a t i n g of the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s as she had in the r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Reports from other subjects indicate that they also experienced the same feelings as in the ERs. The feelings reported by Amy, Carl, Fiona, and Hal during this section relate to the feelings of their early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Physical sensations See Tables 15 & 16 Five subjects were aware of physical sensations during a l l sections of the l i f e s tyle analysis. Three subjects were not aware of any physical sensations during some sections. Amy reported sensations except when she was talking about her parents. Donna reported no sensations during the ERs. Elaine reported none during talking about her s i s t e r and the inte r p r e t a t i o n . Two subjects, Fiona and Ginny, experienced intense physical responses, Fiona had a feeling of unrealness while r e l a t i n g the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s and Ginny cried uncontrollably for an hour and a half while working toward the int e r p r e t a t i o n . Responses, such as crying, d i s t r a c t i o n , and depression, were v i s i b l e to the investigator. Many responses, however, were not v i s i b l e ; they occurred i n t e r n a l l y . Sensations such as butter- f l i e s in the stomach, tightness, twinges, warmth, and fee l i n g l i k e curling up or crawling into a corner became known through CHAPTER FIVE 126 questioning the subjects. An in t e r n a l reaction, that of r e l i v i n g childhood experiences, was spontaneously reported by six subjects. Donna did not report r e l i v i n g experiences during t h i s study but her description of them as 'devastating' when she f i r s t discussed them suggests that she reli v e d them then. Hal did not indicate that he was r e l i v i n g childhood experiences but the degree of involvement he reported suggests that he also was r e l i v i n g experiences as he underwent the l i f e style analysis. Physical sensations experienced during the section on si b l i n g s tend to be mild. Betty f e l t l i k e crying, Donna f e l t warmth in her chest and a mixed up fee l i n g in her shoulder, and Ginny f e l t ' t i g h t ' . During the section on parents sensations were either present for the f i r s t time or stronger than in the section on s i b l i n g s . For example, Elaine reported no physical sensations in the section on s i b l i n g s but reported ' r e l i v i n g everything' and 'twinges' during the section on parents. Betty f e l t warm a l l over during this section after feeling l i k e crying in the f i r s t section. Ginny f e l t 'tight' in the f i r s t sections and 'l i k e curling up' when discussing her parents. The section on early r e c o l l e c t i o n s tends to produce an experience in which physical sensations remain similar to the section on parents or increase in i n t e n s i t y . For Elaine, Ginny, Fiona, and Hal physi- cal sensations tend to remain the same. For Amy, Betty, and Carl physical sensations tend to increase in i n t e n s i t y . Four subjects spontaneously reported ' r e l i v i n g ' events or times in their l i v e s CHAPTER FIVE 127 TABLE 15 Physical sensations reported by Subjects A - D during each section of the l i f e style analysis. SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna L i f e Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre- tation 'went back in that age,'just thinking about i t I got r e a l l y small' none heart beating quickly, skin t i g h — tening up skin t i g h - tening up, heart beating quickly f e l t l i k e crying f e l t warm a l l over 'I f e l t l i k e I was there' 'mind so busy warmth searching for in chest, information' mixed-up physically relieved tears to eyes ' r e l i v i n g them', 'I can s t i l l picture a l l those things', remembers sen- sations of ERs stomach up- set; butter- f l i e s feeling in shoulder numb none tenseness in her mind,re- l i e f to feelings CHAPTER FIVE 128 TABLE 16 Physical sensations reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis. SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal L i f e style Sections Siblings Parents none ERs Interpre- tation ' r e l i v e everything ' , over a l l twinges twinges none anger in chest, headache? f e l t l i k e crawling into a cor- ner, 'unreal' sad hurtful f e e l i n g in bottom of ri b cage ' r e l i v i n g ' shakiness f e l t 'tight' f e l t l i k e curling up more tightened' 'more con- s t r i c t e d o v e r a l l tightness v i s u a l i z e father's violence, f e e l parents tion grabbing legs same sen- sation of con s t r i c - crying.deep prolonged sobbing, chest hurt, head going to explode, head buzzing t i n g l i n g sensation a l l over body CHAPTER FIVE 129 during this section. Betty ' f e l t l i k e I was there', Carl and Fiona reported r e l i v i n g events, and Ginny could v i s u a l i z e her father's violence as well as f e e l her parents grabbing at her legs. The section on interpretation tends to produce physical sensations which d i f f e r from the data c o l l e c t i o n section. Five subjects experienced physical sensations during this section which contrasted with the sensations experienced during the data c o l l e c t i o n session. For example, Hal f e l t 'tightened' or 'constricted' during the data c o l l e c t i o n sections whereas he f e l t a t i n g l i n g sensation during the inter p r e t a t i o n . For Betty, Donna, and Hal the di f f e r e n t physical sensations were positive whereas for Carl and Ginny they were negative. Thoughts and Insights See Tables 17 & 18 Thoughts range from, thinking about behavior during the l i f e s t yle analysis ( i . e . Elaine thinking about the small incidents she related.) to thinking about the past and present i n t e r - personal r e l a t i o n s h i p s . A l l subjects thought about family dynamics when they were children and their current relationships with their family of o r i g i n . During the r e l a t i n g of the ERs, two subjects compared their behavior i n the ERs to behavior of their children. A l l subjects with children (Hal was the only subject without children) talked about their relationship with their children at some point during the l i f e style analysis although only two mentioned i t when asked about thoughts and ins i g h t s . Insights also ranged from minor, such as Amy's new view of her father as f a t , to major, such as Fiona's coming to a 'complete CHAPTER FIVE 130 r e a l i z a t i o n of what happened to her'. Five subjects reported having insights; of these, three were very clear about the insights that they had. Two subjects, Betty and Donna, had insights during the interpretation but were unable to remember them. Carl had an insight during the r e l a t i n g of his ERs but did not remember having i t . Elaine, and Ginny did not report any i n s i g h t s . The section on s i b l i n g s produced thoughts about past and current relationships with s i b l i n g s . No insights were reported during t h i s section. Fiona saw the competition between herself and her s i s t e r more c l e a r l y . The section on parents produced thoughts about family dynamics in the past and wishes that things could have been d i f f e r e n t . A minor insight ( i . e . Amy thinking of her father as fat) occurred during this section. During the section on early r e c o l l e c t i o n s subjects reported thoughts about past family dynamics, current dynamics with children, and awareness of the importance of the past on current l i v i n g . Major insights were reported during t h i s section by three subjects (Amy, Fiona, and Hal). Carl had an insight during this section but did not remember having i t when querried l a t e r . The section involving interpretation produced thoughts about l i f e in childhood as well as about the subject's current circumstances and r e l a t i o n s h i p s . Two subjects, Betty and Elaine, reported their awareness of not wanting to hear answers with which they were not ready to deal, whereas Amy f e l t ready for th i s 'test'. This section produced insights for four subjects CHAPTER FIVE 131 TABLE 17 Thoughts and insights reported by Subjects A - D during each sections of the l i f e style analysis SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna Siblings i n t e r - thought s i b - no time to how l i t t l e she ested to lings would be i n t r o - knew s i b l i n g s , compare never get to spective , how parents her a t t i - know each mind busy had i n s t i l l e d tudes then other searching s e l f - s a c r i f i - and now for i n f o r - attitude mation in children parents i n s i g h t — parents how he parents would saw father were doing t r i e d to have done bet- in a new best they make up to ter of they'd way could mother for communicated her unhappy more, wished l i f e they'd com- ERs i n s i g h t - - ' i t was my own se l f that made me do these things' cannot f o r - get the past s t i l l im- portant to her, s t i l l upsets her son's be- havior same as his i n ER, s p i r i t broken so can' t r e a l i z e ambitions municated more son's behavior related to a behavior of hers i n ER Interpre- ready for aware of not saw his tation this'test',ready to l i f e as insight acknowledge wasted cuz recreates answers,could hadn't rea- same boun- not remember l i z e d his dries insights ambitions many thoughts and insights but unable to put into words CHAPTER FIVE 132 TABLE 18 Thoughts and insights reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the l i f e style analysis SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal S i b l i n g 'no regrets' more aware of i f family not f i t t i n g open com- munication between her and her s i s t e r currently how she and s i s t e r f i g h t each other, wanted to telephone s i s t e r knew what what loss was they could love others, thoughts of hurting herself in with his family Parents surprised at small incidences she re- called ERs missed 'good times' wished she could re- l i v e i n c i - dences she recal l e d , important to do things in l i f e no mat- ter whether big or small Interpre- aware of not tation ready to acknowlege answers,can- not put de- t a i l s of l i f e into bigger p i c - ture, small momemts im- portant in future current dy- namics now that mother was dead,in- sights about family of or- i g i n dynamics how unreal her c h i l d - hood had been, and i n s i g h t — three worlds she had been l i v i n g in fears for her future, i n - sights—com- plete r e a l i - zation of what hap- pened to her, need to believe she's free could not understand how parents could raise brothers i n - volvement i n bringing him up,parents kids with so relationship much abuse & unhappiness not been able to'set aside' her t e r r i b l e childhood, s t i l l greatly upset by i t wish to be close to husband, unable to function at home because so pushed back by session 1 insi g h t - the degree of h o s t i l i t y he had as a young c h i l d missed out as as a c h i l d , would l i k e to get more i n touch with that part of his l i f e CHAPTER FIVE 133 although not a l l subjects could put the insights into words. Car l , Elaine, Ginny, and Hal did not report any insights during th i s section. Reactions between Sessions See Tables 19 & 20 The reactions after the data c o l l e c t i n g session ranged from none to very strong. One subject, Hal, reported no reactions whereas two subjects experienced dramatic reactions. Fiona was dazed, drained, and disoriented whereas Ginny reported going into a deep depression. The anticipations ranged from viewing the interpretation as 'just a normal session' to excitement and fear of finding out answers. Four subjects hoped to get answers from the in t e r p r e t a t i o n . One subject, C a r l , had 'misgivings' because he feared he would get a 'far-fetched interpretation'. Quality of Experience The experience of p a r t i c i p a t i n g in a l i f e style analysis ranges from an experience very similar to watching a frightening movie to an experience very similar to watching a best movie. For Donna, the experience was l i k e watching a personally meaningful or best movie. Three other subjects (Betty, Carl, and Elaine) rated the experience moderately close to their personally meaningful movie. For one subject, Amy, the data c o l l e c t i o n sections were l i k e watching run-of-the-mill movie with the interpretation section l i k e watching a best movie. For one subject, Ginny, the experience was l i k e watching a frightening movie. For two subjects, Fiona and Hal, the experience of the CHAPTER FIVE 134 J TABLE 19 Reactions of Subjects A - D after Session 1 (Li f e style sections 1 through 3) Subjects Amy Betty Carl Donna After Session 1 A n t i c i - pations before Session 2 Thoughts about changes she would have made in her answers,more s t r a i n aware of her own behavior Emotionally drained,head heavy for rest of day, t i r e d , a excited, looked forward to getting information curious how i n t e r - pretation would be done,hoped i t would help her sort some- things out Continued to think about his l i f e , r ecalled many more recol'tions f e l t d i s - couraged a- bout his l i f e appr ehensive 'misgivings' cuz might get a 'far- fetched i n - terpretation Found i t be n e f i c i a l to describe family i n - di v i d u a l l y , continued to 'mull' thoughts over interested to find out what was involved, hoped to find out something to help- her make decisions CHAPTER FIVE 135 TABLE 20 Reactions of Subjects E - H after Session 1 (Lif e style sections 1 through 3) Subjects Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal After Session 1 A n t i c i - surprised f e l t dazed she talked and wandered about l i t t l e around,felt things in her l i f e so drained had to be driven home thought about her family and her husband's fam- i l y , 'lot of hate feelings', none from friend's compared her- home, d i f f i - s e l f to her cult to cont- family, went inue normal 'down into a routine real depression ' f e l t d i f f e r e n t ' looked f o r - ward to se- cond session cuz l e f t up in the a i r after f i r s t one,hoped to get some an- swers as to why she re- sponed the way she did during f i r s t session 'a l i t t l e b i t scared but ex- cited ' , she wondered what more she might learn about herself ' f e l t better' coming to talk on a one- to-one basis rather than in group si t u a t i o n , f e l t s c a r e d — l i k e a l i t t l e g i r l , no reference i s made to inter- pretation none 'just a normal session' CHAPTER FIVE 136 l i f e style analysis i s not related to the experiences of any of the movies. Ef f e c t of the research questions The questions which were asked in regard to each section of the l i f e style analysis tend to have the effect of heightening the experiences of the subjects. For example, when Betty talked about her parents during the l i f e style analysis her eyes were moist but she did not cry. During the answering of the research questions regarding her feelings, physical sensations, and thoughts while discussing her parents she c r i e d . C a r l , while answering the research questions continued respond with new re c o l l e c t i o n s as well as thoughts about his current r e l a t i o n - ships. Fiona's reactions to the research questions are an even stronger demonstration of this e f f e c t . While talking about her parents, Fiona experienced an 'unreal' f e e l i n g . Later while answering the research questions the 'unreal' fe e l i n g became so intense that the investigator stopped asking the questions and brought Fiona's therapist into the session. Summary In this chapter the results of eight single case studies have been compared. From the comparisons the range of subjective experiences has been noted as well s i m i l a r i t e s and differences between subjects. From these results conclusions are drawn in Chapter s i x . CHAPTER SIX 137 CHAPTER SIX CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUMMARY Conclusions The eight single case studies as well as the comparison of those studies provide data from which the following apparent conclusions can be drawn. 1. Undergoing a l i f e style analysis Can be an intense and power- f u l experience. A l l subjects experienced strong feelings during the procedure. A l l subjects experienced a variety of feelings, both positive and negative, however, the majority of the feelings experienced were negative with anger and sadness reported by six subjects. It i s suggested that subjects with abusive childhood backgrounds may experience intense negative subjective exper- iences while undergoing a l i f e style analysis. Subjects Six (Fiona) and Seven (Ginny), had intensely negative subjective experiences while undergoing the l i f e s tyle analysis. 2. Asking subjects about the feelings they experienced during the l i f e style analysis tends to have the effect of heightening those feelings, thus increasing the potency of the procedure. Subject Two (Betty) had tears in her eyes when discussing her parents and l a t e r cried when answering the research, questions in this section. Subject Number 3 (Carl) f e l t sad while talking about his mother during the data taking and cried when he responded to the research questions on this section. Subject Number 6 (Fiona) experienced an 'unreal' fe e l i n g while talking CHAPTER SIX 138 about her parents, which became very intense while answering the research questions. Subject Number 7 (Ginny) began to cry and be- came more depressed when she responded to the research questions. 3. Subjects undergoing a l i f e style analysis may have insig h t s . Five subjects reported experiencing i n s i g h t s . One subject, (Amy) reported insights during a l l sections except the one on s i b l i n g s . A feeling from an early r e c o l l e c t i o n which i s i d e n t i c a l to the feel i n g an ind i v i d u a l has about his or her current l i f e circum- stances may produce an intense i n s i g h t . Subject Number 6 (Fiona) while discussing one of her early r e c o l l e c t i o n s connected the feeling in i t to the feeling she has about her current l i f e circumstances and thi s caused her to react strongly. 4. The subjective experiences of the data c o l l e c t i o n sections tend to d i f f e r from the subjective experiences of the interpre- tation section. Subject Three (Carl) f e l t good discussing his childhood during the data c o l l e c t i o n sections, and discouraged with an upset stomach during the int e r p r e t a t i o n . Subject One (Amy) was very controlled during the data c o l l e c t i o n sections and uncontrolled in a positive way during the inter p r e t a t i o n . Subject Seven (Ginny) became depressed during the data c o l l e c t i o n session and was very frightened during the inter p r e t a t i o n . 5. A l l subjects described themselves as engrossed while under- going the l i f e style analysis, tending to become more engrossed as they proceded through the sections. Six subjects were en- grossed thoughout a l l sections whereas two were engrossed during two and three sections respectively. Four subjects were observed CHAPTER SIX 139 to become more engrossed during the section on parents than the section on s i b l i n g s . Subjects, with two exceptions, were more engrossed while r e l a t i n g their early r e c o l l e c t i o n s than during the sections on s i b l i n g s or parents, and, with one exception, were more engrossed during working toward the interpretation than during any of the data c o l l e c t i n g sections. 6. A l l eight subjects experienced unobservable physical sensa- tions while undergoing the l i f e s tyle analysis. Subject One (Amy) f e l t her skin tighten; Subject Seven (Ginny) f e l t her parents grabbing at her legs; Subject Eight (Hal) f e l t con- s t r i c t e d during the data c o l l e c t i o n session and a t i n g l i n g sensation during the int e r p r e t a t i o n . 7. A l l eight subjects reported thoughts about their past and present interpersonal relationships stimulated by the l i f e s tyle analysis. A l l subjects related family dynamics when they were children and their current relationships with their families of o r i g i n and current f a m i l i e s . 9. Subjects tend to ' r e l i v e ' childhood experiences while under- going a l i f e style analysis, p a r t i c u l a r l y during the early r e c o l - l e c t i o n s . Six subjects spontaneously reported r e l i v i n g experi- ences, four of these experiences were during the section on early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . While r e l a t i n g the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s subjects tend to experience the same feelings and sensations as they experienced in the r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Subject Two (Betty) reported that she experienced feelings in the present which were i d e n t i c a l to the feelings she had in the r e c o l l e c t i o n s . For six subjects CHAPTER SIX 140 the feelings they reported were feelings mentioned in the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . Two subjects (Amy & Ginny) experienced the same physical sensations they experienced in an early r e c o l l e c t i o n . Subject Three (Carl) v i v i d l y remembered the physical sensations but did not experience them. Implications and Questions for Future Research There are a number of implications for therapists teaching and using l i f e style analysis which result from t h i s study. Knowledge of these conclusions can prepare therapists and counsellors for the range of reactions of c l i e n t s undergoing l i f e s t yle analysis. The intense reactions of several of the c l i e n t s imply that those conducting l i f e s tyle analysis should be trained counsellors or therapists. C l i n i c i a n s teaching l i f e style analy- si s to others need to inform trainees of the possible emotional impact on the c l i e n t i n order to prepare them to notice and deal with possible intense reactions. The results of this study also indicate that technique of l i f e style analysis could benefit by the therapist asking c l i e n t s to describe their experiences during the procedure. Collecting the l i f e style data i s more than a data gathering procedure; i t creates feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, and may produce insights within the c l i e n t . Working toward the interpretation tends to create subjective experiences which may d i f f e r in quality from those of the data c o l l e c t i o n session. During the l i f e style analysis c l i e n t s experience far more i n t e r n a l l y than they share with the therapist. For example, c l i e n t s may appear detached or neutral toward the procedure when they are very CHAPTER SIX 141 involved in i t . As a result the therapist may not be aware of the degree to which a c l i e n t i s affected, and perhaps distressed, by the process. Without this knowledge the therapist may unin- ten t i o n a l l y leave a c l i e n t traumatized after the data c o l l e c t i o n and interpretation sessions. In addition, by asking the c l i e n t s about their subjective experiences therapists may deepen and increase the potency of the l i f e s tyle technique. Asking c l i e n t s to relate the thoughts, feelings, and physi- cal sensations they experience during the l i f e style analysis, may help them to focus on the issues in their families which are most potent for them. This i s an exploratory study and further research i s needed to corroborate the r e s u l t s . There i s some indicati o n that undergoing a l i f e s tyle analysis may be a v a l i d treatment for some forms of depression. Three subjects' therapists reported their subjects were less depressed as a result of pa r t i c i p a t i n g in the l i f e style analysis. Subject Number Two, with symptoms of crying a l l the time, reported she f e l t "happier". Subject Number One changed the focus i n her therapy from discussion about her depression to problems she has with decision-making. Subject Number Seven experienced increased depression as a result of the data c o l l e c t i o n session but the depression was a l l e v i a t e d dramatically by the interpretation session. L i f e style analysis in the two session format may be a therapeutic technique to a s s i s t c l i e n t s who are not progressing in therapy. After p a r t i c i p a t i o n in this study, movement in therapy was reported by the therapists of fi v e of the six CHAPTER SIX 142 subjects who had been i n therapy for more than a year. There i s indication that questions which focus on an i n d i - vidual's phenomenological experiencing, for example Gestalt Therapy techniques, may be a b e n e f i c i a l adjunct to l i f e s tyle analysis. In thi s way an experiential approach could be incorporated with the cognitive approach; a powerful combination. If questions which focus on the int e r n a l experiences of c l i e n t s tend to heighten the experiences produced by the l i f e s tyle anal- y s i s , research i s needed to ascertain the affe c t and most appro- priate use of Gestalt techniques in the l i f e style procedure. The subjects of the study were two men and six women. Re- search i s needed to ascertain i f men experience l i f e style analysis d i f f e r e n t l y than women. In this study four of the women mentioned their hopes that the l i f e style analysis would help them, whereas one of the men (Carl) had misgivings about; the interpretation, and the other (Hal) had no expectations or hopes. This study examined the individual's experiences during the two sessions involved in the l i f e s tyle analysis procedure as well as reactions and responses between sessions. It did not examine the impact of the procedure from the individual's per- spective immediately afterwards or on a short term or long term follow-up basis. Questions were asked of the subjects' therapists following the procedure but not of the subjects themselves. Further research i s needed to ascertain short and long terra impact of the procedure, again from the individual's perspective. This study concerns a face-to-face interview technique of conducting l i f e style analysis. Researchers are c o l l e c t i n g l i f e CHAPTER SIX 143 style information via written format without any knowledge of the eff e c t of this procedure on the subjects. Research i s needed to determine the impact of f i l l i n g out a written form (SALSA OR SALSI). This study has certain implications for Adlerian theory. Exploring l i f e style analysis from the individual's perspective gives support to the theory. "Individual Psychology asserts that humans not only need other humans, but they also need to be needed, to have a fee l i n g of belonging." (Manaster & C o r s i n i , 1982, p.47). This study supports this tenet. Subject Number Seven (Ginny) spontaneously declared: I f e e l l i k e I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I f e e l l o s t . Knowledge of how she did belong, by being the 'good' one i n the family, helped to a l l e v i a t e her d i s t r e s s . Three other subjects (Betty, Carl, & Hal) spontaneously reported not belonging in terms of not f i t t i n g into the family. Subject Number Four (Donna) was able to understand her stubborn behavior when she realized the way in which i t helped her belong in her family. Adlerian theory claims that "early memories are capsule summaries of one's present l i f e philisophy" (Manaster & Co r s i n i , 1982, p.186). Further support for the theory i s demonstrated by Subject Six's (Fiona) strong reaction while she related one of her early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . The feeling from one ER was i d e n t i c a l to the feeling she has about her current l i f e circumstances. Feelings from Subject Seven's (Ginny) early r e c o l l e c t i o n s also related strongly to her current fee l i n g s . This i s additional evidence that early r e c o l l e c t i o n s are related to current l i f e CHAPTER SIX 144 circumstances. Janoe & Janoe (1979) outlined a method of discussing physical feelings and sensations which they found to be therapeutic. In this study asking subjects about their f e e l i n g s , physical sensations, and thoughts, appears to support Janoe & Janoe i n that positive change occurred for six subjects. Limitations of the Investigation The subjects in this study participated on a volunteer basis. This might aff e c t the g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y of the findings to c l i e n t s who do not volunteer, i f the response set of c l i e n t s who volunteer d i f f e r s from the response set of the general c l i e n t population. This study involved subjects currently in therapy. This l i m i t s the g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y of findings to c l i e n t s i n therapy and not to the general population. This study involved one therapist conducting the l i f e style analysis. This might aff e c t the g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y of the findings to l i f e style analysis conducted by other therapists and counsellors. This study was based on self-report and observational techniques. This may l i m i t the results to the information the individuals are w i l l i n g to reveal about themselves as well as to information about themselves of which they are aware. Subjects may have experienced feelings, sensations, and/or thoughts which they did not divulge or of which they were not aware and which were not observable to the investigator. The cued memory technique was used in order to conduct the l i f e s tyle analysis with minimal interference. However, the CHAPTER SIX 145 technique had the effect of expanding on the experiences of the subject, p a r t i c u l a r l y immediately after the data c o l l e c t i n g sessions. For example, Subject Number 5 (Elaine) spontaneously reported that she was expanding on her thoughts as the i n v e s t i - gator was cuing her back to them. Subject Number Seven (Ginny) spontaneously commented following the cuing procedure that when she talked about her childhood i t was one thing, but when the investigator (using the subject's' own words) talked about i t , i t sounded 'so heavy'. This indicates that the research methods used in this study did a l t e r the l i f e style analysis and thus may affec t the g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y of the findings to l i f e style analysis conducted without the cueing procedure. The answers the subjects gave to the questions regarding the degree to which they were engrossed or detached were ambiguous. For example, some subjects answered the question using 'quite' and 'more engrossed'. This l i m i t s the conclusions which can be drawn from this data. Summary L i f e style analysis i s a major component of Adlerian psy- chology. For Adlerians, l i f e style analysis i s necessary for understanding the individual in therapy and for reorientation in treatment. Thus i t i s important for c l i n i c i a n s and theorists to f u l l y understand the technique. Development and research of the technique i n the past has been and i s currently from the c l i n i c i a n ' s point of view. In an attempt to further understand l i f e style analysis, this study sought to explore the technique from another point of view—the CHAPTER SIX 146 individual's perspective. The objectives of this study were to answer the following questions : 1. What i s the range of subjective experiences of individuals undergoing a l i f e style analysis? 2. What i s the subjective experience produced by various sections of the l i f e s tyle analysis? To accomplish these objectives a sample of eight subjects, who were currently i n therapy i n a Mental Health C l i n i c , participated i n a l i f e s tyle analysis with the investigator. Information about their experiences was collected via a series of questions and a semantic d i f f e r e n t i a l following each segment of the l i f e style analysis. Questions were also asked concerning the subjects' experiences between sessions. The eight single case studies were compared. In terms of the objectives of the study the results indicate that the experience of a l i f e s tyle analysis may range from very positive such as pleasant or best, to very negative such as very frightening. For the majority of in d i v i d u a l s , the experience i s a personally meaningful one which may be positive or negative in valence. The data c o l l e c t i o n sections tend to produce a di f f e r e n t quality of experience from the interpretation section. I n d i v i - duals tend to become increasingly more engrossed as they procede through the sections, experiencing physical sensations and feelings which may become very potent. They also experience thoughts, and may have insights, about their relationships in CHAPTER SIX 147 their families of o r i g i n and about their current rela t i o n s h i p s . Individuals tend to r e l i v e childhood experiences throughout the l i f e style analysis, but especially during the section on early r e c o l l e c t i o n s . 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A symptom and i t s symbolic representation in e a r l i e s t memories. Journal of c l i n i c a l psychology, 1964, 20, 442-444. APPENDIX A 156 APPENDIX A Information given to therapists at the c l i n i c to be used to inform their c l i e n t s of the project. Bea Mackay i s conducting a research project here at Delta Mental Health. The project i s being supervised by Dr. Robert Armstrong of the Department of Counselling Psychology at U.B.C. She i s seeking volunteers for her study. They are attempting to determine how individuals experience p a r t i c i p a t i n g in a l i f e s t yle analysis. A l i f e s t yle analysis involves answering questions about your family and early childhood, and working troward an interpretation with the counsellor, Bea Mackay. The interpretation i s an analysis of your approach to l i f e situations and other people. C o n f i d e n t i a l i t y w i l l be maintained by assigning you a number and destroying your data at the end of the project, unless you agree to have the data entered into your f i l e at Mental Health C l i n i c . The project would require 3 - 4 hours of your time, in two interviews approximately 1 week apart. There would be no payment or cost to yourself. P a r t i c i p a t i o n in the project i s voluntary and you could withdraw at any time without prejudicing your counselling at Mental Health C l i n i c in any way. If you would be interested in volunteering for this project I w i l l give Bea Mackay your phone number and she w i l l c a l l you. Feel free to ask her any questions you might have concerning the project. APPENDIX 157 APPENDIX B LETTER OF CONSENT PROJECT: What i s the range of subjective experiences of people undergoing a l i f e s tyle analysis? Dear We are seeking your involvement in a study being carried out by myself and Dr. Robert Armstrong of the Department of Counselling Psychology at U.B.C. We are attempting to determine how individuals experience p a r t i c i p a t i n g in a l i f e style analysis. This involves answering questions about your family and early childhood., and working toward an interpretation with the investigator, Bea Mackay. The interpretation i s an analysis of your approach to l i f e situations and other people. Co n f i d e n t i a l i t y w i l l be maintained by assigning each ind i v i d u a l a number and destruction of data at the end of the project. The project requires 3 - 4 hours of your time, in two i n t e r - views approximately 1 week apart. There i s no payment or cost to yourself. We wish to emphasize that p a r t i c i p a t i o n i s voluntary and you may withdraw from the project at any time. Your withdrawal w i l l not prejudice your counselling at Mental Health Center in anyway. I i n v i t e you to ask any questions that you may have regarding the procedure. We would greatly appreciate your agreement to a s s i s t in this research. If this i s aggreable to you, please sign below. Date: Subject's signature Thank you for your assistance. Sincerely, B.A. Mackay, M.A. Candidate Robert Armstrong, Ph.D. Project Supervisor, Dept. of Counselling Psychology,U.B.C. APPENDIX B 158 APPENDIX C RELEASE OF DATA I give my consent for the data and information collected during t h i s research project to be entered into my f i l e at Mental Health Center. Subject's name Date APPENDIX 159 APPENDIX D L i f e Style Interview Guide (Reproduced from L i f e Style: What It Is and How to Do It by Eckstein, D.; Baruth, L; and Mahrer, F.D., Dubuque, IA.: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 1978.) Write the name and age of each s i b l i n g (including yourself) i n descending order beginning with the oldest. Include deceased s i b l i n g s . When you have l i s t e d a l l the s i b l i n g s , describe each s i b l i n g again including yourself. S i b l i n g 1 Sib l i n g 2 Sib l i n g 3 Name: Name: Name: Age: Age: Age: Description: Description: Description: S i b l i n g 4 Name: Age: Description: S i b l i n g 5 Name: Age: Description: S i b l i n g 6 Name: Age: Description: Further S i b l i n g Descriptions In r e l a t i o n to your family answer the questions below as accur- ately as possible. Who was most di f f e r e n t from you? How? If you are an only c h i l d , in your peer group who was the most different from you? How? Who was most l i k e you? How? APPENDIX 160 Did you have many or few friends? Describe your relationship with them. Who fought and argued? Who played together? Who took care of whom? Who had a handicap or prolonged i l l n e s s ? What were the most important family values? What was your family motto? Siblings Ratings Following each adjective or description indicate which s i b l i n g s demonstrated that c h a r a c t e r i s t i c most and l e a s t . If you are at neither expreme, show in which dir e c t i o n you were in c l i n e d by pointing an arrow. An example might be: Ch a r a c t e r i s t i c : Most Least I d e a l i s t i c Sam > Rachel This would indicate that regarding idealism, Sam was most i d e a l - i s t i c , Rachel was least i d e a l i s t i c , and you tended to be on the least i d e a l i s t i c end of the continuum. If you are an only c h i l d , rate yourself in comparison to your peer group you associated with as a c h i l d . These ratings should focus on your personal opinion of your family s i t u a t i o n during the f i r s t eight years of your l i f e . Now respond to each of the following c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s : Characteristic Most Least 1. Intelligence 2. Hardest Worker 3. Best Grades in School APPENDIX 161 Characteristics cont.: Most Least 4. Helping around the House 5. Conforming 6. Rebellious 7. Trying to Please 8. C r i t i c a l of Others 9. Considerateness 10. Selfishness 11. Having Own Way 12. Sensitive-Easily Hurt 13. Temper Tantrums 14. Sense of Humor 15. I d e a l i s t i c 16. M a t e r i a l i s t i c 17. Standards of Accomplishment 18. Most A t h l e t i c 19. Strongest 20. Attractive 21.Spoiled 22. Punished 23. Spontaneous Description of Parents Father Current Age Occupation: Father's Favorite? Why? Ambitions for children? Description of Father: Relationship to children? Sibling most l i k e father? How? Mother Description of Mother: Current Age: Occupation: Mother's Favorite? Why? Ambitions for children? Relationship to chilren? Sibling most l i k e mother? How? APPENDIX 162 Describe the nature of your parent's re l a t i o n s h i p . If there were other parental figures in your family, describe the effe c t they have had on your outlook on l i f e . Early Recollections Think back as far as you can and describe the f i r s t s p e c i f i e i n - cident that you remember. Describe what feeling you had at that time. Make sure i t i s a s p e c i f i c s i t u a t i o n and not a generaliza- t i o n . When you have completed the information for the f i r s t i n - cident, do the same with the second s i t u a t i o n . Try to do this for at least f i v e or six incidents. If you had a recurring dream when you were a c h i l d , describe the dream and discuss how you f e l t . F i r s t Incident: Description: Your f e e l i n g : Second Incident: Description: Your Feeling: nth Incident: Description: Your f e e l i n g : Recurring Dream: Description: Your f e e l i n g : APPENDIX 163 APPENDIX E SEMANTIC DIFFERENTIAL RATING SHEET Subject No. 1 Concept Personally Meaningful Movie very quite some neutral some quite very what what cold x hot 6 passive x active 7 f a i r x unfair 1 happy x unhappy 1 heavy x l i g h t 7 strong x weak 7 bad x good 3 delicate x rugged 2 small x large 4 d u l l x sharp 5 calm x agitated 1 fast x slow 5 A c t i v i t y : 6 , 7, 5, 5, = 23 Average : : 5 .75 Potency: 7, 7, 2, 4, = 20 Average : : 5 .0 Evaluative: 1, 1, 3, 1, = 6 Average : : 1 .5 APPENDIX APPENDIX F 164 Sample of D S t a t i s t i c Analysis - Linear Distance Subject Number 1 T i t l e of Movie: Personally Meaningful . Movie S i b l i n g (X (I)-X (J)~2 Linear Rating Rating Distance A c t i v i t y Scales 1 6 5 1 2 7 5 4 3 5 1 16 4 5 2 9 30 5.48 Potency Scales 5 7 5 4 6 7 1 36 7 2 1 9 8 4 1 9 50 7.07 9 1 3 4 10 1 4 9 11 3 4 1 12 1 1 0 14 3.74 Combined Score 94 9.7 APPENDIX 165 Appendix G Subject Number 1 - Amy Transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicate pauses i n the dialogue) Section on Si b l i n g s : / Investigator (Inv.)> "As you were talking about your s i b l i n g s and Amy, "I was engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "A l o t of anger (clears throat) I also f e l t very anxious and confused at t i m e s — l i k e confused what to answer—like could be something else, especially with the comparison. Inv, "That was hard to do. That was confusing for you as to what, to answer." Amy, "Um hum. I f e l t comfortable t e l l i n g you about i t , which usually I don't. Inv., "Usually i t ' s hard for you to talk about i t but i t was OK with me." Amy, "Um hum. But I would say i t was a l o t of anger." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "It was interesting t o — c u z I actually went back in that age and I usually^don't think about i t . (clears throat) So i t was interesting going back and .. seeing great big brothers over you." Inv., "They were pretty big and you were pretty l i t t l e . " Amy, "It was my attitude. Like now my attitude--we're on the same l e v e l . But just thinking about i t I got r e a l l y small. yourself how engrossed or detached were you? APPENDIX 166 Section on Parents: Inv., "As you talked about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Amy, "I was more engrossed when we were talking about my mother." Inv.,"What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "There was sadness when. I talked about my father and when I was talking about my mother uh sort of a recent anger that I have so I'd say i t was a confusion of f e e l i n g s . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "I was interested that I said my father was f a t , (laugh) cuz I never would say that before." Inv., "What's changed for you now? What makes i t d i f f e r e n t that you could say i t now but wouldn't before?" Amy, "Cuz I never thought that he was fat before." Inv., "Did you learn anything from that?" Amy, "No." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., When you were talking about the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , how engrossed or detached were you?" Amy, "I was very engrossed l i k e probably mostly in this section than the others." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Amy, A l l of them? Anger again. Bas i c a l l y with both p a r e n t s — l i k e how could they be so naive to not know what's going on. (Pause) And a l l these demands put on me and I had no reason to do i t . I had no motive to want to do i t . " (Pause) I APPENDIX 167 guess the f e e l i n g there i s a group of statements—why should I? (laughter) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Amy, "At one time my heart was beating r e a l l y quickly. Inv., "Do you remember the time that that was?—What you were talking about when that was happening?" Amy, "I think i t was (clears throat) the one where I had to go outside in the It was the snowball f i g h t . " Inv., "When you knew your brothers were waiting there for you and you were forced to go?" Amy, "Um hum." Inv., "Any other physical sensations you experienced?" Amy, "Embarrassed." Inv.,"Where did that f e e l inside your body?" Amy, "Sort of—my skin kind of tightened up." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "How frightened I was then." Inv., "Any other thoughts or insights?" Amy, "Yeah. I learned i t would have been so easy not to have li s t e n e d . It was my own s e l f that made me do these t h i n g s — to take i t . " Inv., "You learned to see your own part in what was happening to you." Amy, "That I r e a l l y didn't have to be in a neutral state a l l the time. I could have just decided I'm not going out there, (laugh) But at the time I didn't know there was an option." Inv., So that's what you learned, that there were options you APPENDIX 168 just didn't r e a l i z e there were. if Amy, "Yeah it Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Amy, "As a matter of fact I did. There were a l o t of differences I would have made." Inv., "Answering, d i f f e r e n t l y ? " Anticipation before Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together toward an interpreta- tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that? Amy, "I was very excited about i t . " (laughter) Inv., "Excited?" Amy, "Yeah." Inv., "Can you help me understand how that was for you to be excited?" Amy, "Um For a long time I've wondered, you know,--first of a l l I don't even know the outcome of .. how you're even going to interprete this but um .. I was—I was excited that there would be a—some information that would help, you know,--that I'd been waiting f o r — f o r years cuz most counsellors never give you a .... a r e s u l t , i t ' s sort of an ongoing thing." Inv.,"You looked forward to getting some answers for a change." Amy, "Oh yeah, yeah." Amy , "Right. II APPENDIX 169 Inv., "So i t was l i k e feeling hopeful that you ' l l maybe get some information that you've been wanting for a long long time." Amy, "Right." Interpretation process: Amy, "Well I think that you did a r e a l l y good job. (clears throat) cuz I've seen counsellors for a long time and they haven't put i t together, I mean, you know, not even close, so everything that you said I would uh was r e a l l y good." Inv., "What about the powerful emotions?" Amy, Um .... They must be there. .. Again, you know, I can see how i t makes sense, even though I don't f e e l i t — I don't have the evidence of i t but uh and I can see that too." Inv., "My guess i s that you're just so out of touch with those emotions that that's why you don't f e e l them—where you don't connect with that idea although I see i t running a l l through the material. I see i t as a theme, the powerful emotions running through the material." "How engrossed or detached were you when we were going through t h i s process?" Amy, "I would say very engrossed. Cuz usually I'm very conscious of what I'm saying and retracting before I'm going to say i t and t h i s time i t was almost l i k e I was free to think and say anything. So I had to be very engrossed." Inv.,"That was new for you?" Amy, "Yeah." APPENDIX 170 Inv., "This time you f e l t l i k e i t was safe to say what you f e l t and thought—that i t was going to be believed." Amy, "Not believed. I don't think that's i t . I think i t ' s more of un (pause) What's the w o r d ? — l o s t — l i k e l o s t in my thoughts to the point that I was saying things that I wouldn't normally say, sort of l i k e i f you get drunk or something." Inv., "You were that engrossed that you would get t o t a l l y lost in your thoughts. What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "Lot of embarrassment more than anything." Inv., "Embarrassment?" Amy, "Because of saying things that I wouldn't normally say (small quiet laugh) and you would h i t on something that r e a l l y was true I — I f e l t l i k e um .. wanting to h i d e - fe e l i n g l i k e um oh no i t ' s been exposed and—and .. that scared f e e l i n g and uh so I'd say that was over a l l , you know. Inv.,"Did you have any physical sensations?" Amy, "Yeah, my heart was beating (pause) pretty quickly. Inv., "Was i t throughout or at any par t i c u l a r time?" Amy, "Well more this half than the other half .. cuz this was r e a l l y being .... whatever (laugh)." Inv., "Exposed?" Amy, "Exposed, yeah." Inv., Any other physical sensations?" Amy, That's the only thing I noticed." Inv.',"You mentioned l a s t week when you f e l t embarrassed your skin APPENDIX 171 got t i g h t , Did that happen to you? (Amy, "Un hum") Did that happen this time?" Amy, "Oh yeah." Inv., "When you f e l t embarrassed your skin got t i g h t . " Amy, "Um hum." Inv., "While you were going through the interpretation process, did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, Um ... yeah I would say a big one was .. that I — t h a t I manage to recreate the same boundries a l l the time." Inv.,"Can you help me understand what you mean by that?" Amy, "The boundries of being around people who s t i f l e me and staying away from people who I f e e l free with. I noticed that by comparing my father and my husband together." Inv., "Had you ever done that before? Had you ever sort of realized how they compare to each other? Amy, "Well T (therapist) went through that with me but I didn't r e a l l y see i t , you know. She said that very d e f i n i t e l y , and when she's d e f i n i t e I'm usually (laugh)-- no way—(laughter) just for the fun of i t . Inv., "You connected i t yourself for the f i r s t time. (Amy, "Uh huh.") Was there anything that enabled you to connect that?" Amy, "I think i t was the honesty--the honesty of sharing, you know openly, which I usually don't cuz I--I keep a l o t (pause) i n . " Inv., "Sharing honestly with whom?" Amy, "With you. It made me see honestly what was happening and um also this i s a very good time .. in my l i f e to do APPENDIX 172 this test that I wouldn't have done maybe a month ago cuz I get exhausted with the whole thing, you know, the rep e t i t i o n and I was ready to face things." Inv.," You were ready to be honest." Amy, "Well not so much honest. But I was not a s — n o t as worried a s — a s worried that I was taking up peoples' time and feeling pressure l i k e that That's usually why I don't elaborate on things. APPENDIX 1 7 3 Appendix H Subject Number 2 - Betty Transcribed from audio-tape. ( in text indicate pauses ) Section on s i b l i n g s : Investigator (Inv.), "As you talked about your s i b l i n g s and yourself how engrossed or detached were you?" Betty, "I thought I was very engrossed. Inv., "You were very engrossed? Betty "Yeah" Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "I sort of f e l t kind of sad because I — I f e e l l i k e I'm .. sort of I don't know maybe not included or something l i k e - - I f e e l that Norm and Esther are sort of brother and s i s t e r ... and I'm sort of on the outside." Inv., "You f e l t sort of separate from them." Betty, "Separate, yeah, r i g h t . " Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations or reactions?" Betty, "Just l i k e I wanted to cry. I f e l t that way." Inv.,"What thoughts or insights did you have as you talked about yourself and your s i b l i n g s ? " Betty, "I sort of f e e l I guess that I was sort of the ... I can't think of the right words—sort of the groundbreaker for a l l — f o r everything because, you know, you're the f i r s t one so you do a l l the things then your Mom and Dad sort of learn and so i t ' s easier for them I think." APPENDIX 174 Inv., "You were sort of l i k e a pioneer. (Betty,"Yeah") broke the t r a i l for the others." Betty,"Yeah, I think so. I f e l t that way. I f e e l mixed feelings l i k e I'd l i k e to know them b e t t e r — l i k e to be closer to them especially my brother. I f e e l l i k e , you know, i f anything happened to him and somebody came and asked me, I wouldn't know about him, you know." Inv., "What other thoughts or insights did you have i f any?" Betty, "I don't f e e l l i k e we'll ever get to know each other any better. I f e e l that way." Inv., "How does that make you f e e l ? " Betty, "Well i t doesn't make me f e e l very good cuz i t ' s kind of nice to have .. family I think but I guess you have to learn to l i v e with i t , you know, the way things are some- times and you have to accept i t and once you accept i t I think you'd probably be better for i t r e a l l y to accept that that's the way i t ' s going to be .. and under—rather than getting upset about i t because they don't come to dinner or they don't do what you'd l i k e them to do or whatever. I think i f you could accept i t you--I'd probably be a happier .. person .. to l i v e without." Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you.?" Betty, "I think very engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "A b i t of anger I think, a b i t of sadness ... f r u s t r a - APPENDIX 175 ted I guess • • • • feeling um I don't know i f I f e l t rejected or set aside o r — I don' t know something— something l i k e that." Inv., "What physical sensations or reactions did you have?" Betty, I f e l t sort of warm, ray body sort of " Inv., "Did that f e e l anywhere i n par t i c u l a r inside your body?" Betty, "No, just a l l over." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you talked about your parents?" Betty, (crying) "Oh I just f e e l that yeah they probably thought they were doing the best that they could do but, you know, I guess I was brought up with children are seen and not heard type of thing and that's the way they are, you know. Felt that's how they'd bring up kids too I guess." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you talked about the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s how engrossed or detached were you?" Betty, "I f e l t l i k e I was there." Inv., "Can you help me understand what i t was l i k e for you to be right there?" Betty, "Sort of f e l t , you know, sort of fidgety and, you know know, either sad or upset or a f r a i d . " Inv., "What physical sensations did you experience?" Betty, "At f i r s t just when you talking about .. running away, my r o l l e r skates and everything I f e l t f i n e , calm, but then as sort of made me f e e l l i k e how I f e l t then, you APPENDIX 176 I got on to the dreams and everything I could f e e l myself getting more and more agitated and I could f e e l myself getting warmer, and more sort of uptight and " Inv., "And that warmness was i t a l l over l i k e you described before?" Betty, "Yeah." Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have?" Betty, " That I seem to always seem to get upset about everything. Like i t seemed l i k e .. i t seemed l i k e everything bothered m e — l i k e I couldn't just pass anything off as--that happened, that's too bad, forget about i t . It seems l i k e everything's important." Inv., "You know that i t s t i l l bothers you now (Betty, "Yeah"). You can't sort o f — i t happened and accept i t (Betty,"That's r i g h t " ) . You s t i l l get upset about i t now." Reactions Between sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Betty, "I think I f e l t sort of emotional from i t a b i t , I went home and my head was kind of heavy for the rest of the day, I f e l t l i k e I'd r e a l l y been ... uh ... you know, sort of how you f e e l after a big exam ( l i t t l e laugh) you sort of f e e l sort of drained, cuz I know I f e l t quite t i r e d for the rest of the day so I guess i t was probably a b i t of a ... maybe a s t r a i n . I didn't--I didn't f e e l that way when I was answering the questions. I f e l t they--they sort APPENDIX 177 of came easily to me but I 11 Inv., "It was afterwards you f e l t (Betty, "Yeah, I f e l t sort of drained") emotionally drained." Betty, "Yep". Inv., "Was there any other reaction?" Betty, "Actually (laughing) I didn't think i t was quite as bad as i t was going to be. I sort of enjoyed answering the questions. It brought back some memories I hadn't thought of in quite a while." Anticipation of Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together toward an interpre- ta t i o n . How did you f e e l about coming here today to do that?" Betty, "Well I'm .. sort of .. kind of curious in a way how i t - - how it—how you're going to interpret i t and how i t ' s sort a—how you're goin'a see .. how— how i t a l l f i t s together maybe-- maybe i t might—I'm r e a l l y looking forward t o — hoping i t ' s going to help me .. be able to work on, you know, sorting some things out." Inv., "There's a feeling of hope there that this i s going to give you some answers that w i l l help you." Betty, "Sort of give me some ideas to start working on you know." Interpretation Process: Inv., "How engrossed or detached were you when we were going through that process?" APPENDIX 178 Betty, "Oh well, I would say I was right in there." Inv., "What feelings did you experience? There were tears and sadness." Betty, "I think a b i t of understanding, insight .. I think I .. fe e l a l i t t l e more of maybe um .. I think maybe you sometimes, you know, i t ' s there but you c a n ' t — you don't want to admit i t or you don't .. r e a l l y want .. to see i t . " Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "Sort of f e l t maybe understood a l i t t l e b i t more, maybe I c a n ' t — I can't--I'm not very good--". Inv., "That's OK. Whatever comes." Betty, "I f e l t l i k e saying 'hey yeah that's exactly how I f e e l , l i k e you know, especially when you f i r s t said that one word, you said bind, and I think t h a t — t h a t , you know, that was the f i r s t , you know, I thought ... cuz I was trying to have an open mind when you said that not everything might not f i t . But when you said that word I f e l t t h a t — t h a t .. I sort of f e l t with a few things that you said that, you know, t h a t — t h a t — t h a t ' s how I FEEL." Inv., "That's right on. (Betty,"Right on, yeah) Bind that was one word that r e a l l y f i t for you. (Betty, "um hum") You f e e l that you're in a bind. Can you t e l l me about the tears? Why they were coming and what they were saying?" Betty, (Subject begins to cry again) "I f e e l bad .....cuz I think that ray Mora and Dad r e a l l y love me (Subject crying more now) I think they'd be hurt i f APPENDIX 179 they know how I f e l t . " Inv., "You'd f e e l you were l e t t i n g them down." (Subject nods) Betty, "Sometimes I f e e l mad at them and .. upset because I think that (pause) I blame them sometimes but ... when I look at myself as a parent l i k e , you know, you have to look at how they were brought up and how their parents were and everything too, and that's why they--they act l i k e they do too I guess. I f e e l r e a l l y sorry for ray Dad because I think he's a r e a l l y frustrated person and I think that .... I think I've known that for a long time, you know, for many years. I can't deal with i f because I can't say anything to him, you know." Inv., "You can't reach him." Betty, "I think in some ways too, I'd l i k e to uh I think i t would be better for me to l i v e further away r e a l l y , I think i t would." Inv., "I get the impression you're trying very hard to be a very good daughter, but somehow you also f e e l that you can never be the best, can never be more than adequate." Betty, "I find t h a t — y e a h — I find that I'm always under scrutiny, I guess, l i k e i t doesn't matter what I do with the kids or, you know, we have our son in racing. Of course my Dad, he doesn't approve of that at a l l , my Mom doesn't say too much, you know. She asks him because he's happy about i t but he wins trophys but they wont go .. see any of the races, APPENDIX 180 he doesn't approve of that at a l l , my Mom doesn't say too much, you know. She asks him because he's happy about i t but he wins trophys but they wont go .. see any of the races, you know, I mean that's t h e i r — I don't mind, i t ' s just that I f e e l they're l e t t i n g Harvey (son) down." Inv.,"And that l e t s you down cuz he's part of you. (Subject, "Yea") So you try very hard to be a good daughter but you can't help feeling l e t down by them." Betty,(crying) "Even to go over for a dinner (crying more) I just s i t on the edge of the chair the whole time I'm there because ... the kids do something wrong or they make too much noise or " Inv., "You're waiting for the c r i t i c i s m to come, expecting i t . You care for you're parents, you care for the kids, and you're caught in the middle." Betty, "Like I don't even want to go anymore." Inv., "Well i t sounds l i k e an ordeal not an enjoyable time." Betty, "Not for me anyway. I know the kids l i k e i t b u t — . " Inv., "What physical sensations did you experience? Betty, "I f e e l a l i t t l e b i t relieved ... cuz I know i t ' s a l l in there Feel i t ' s sort of, you know, bring i t too a head. I think you can maybe sort of deal with i t or, you know, what's there so " Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have? You mentioned some insights, could you t e l l me what they were?" Betty, ( l e t s out a big breath) I don't think I can remember what I said I think I've understood for a long time APPENDIX 181 a l o t of things cuz I know I catch myself doing things that I don't want to do that because I know .. that I didn't l i k e that as a c h i l d yeah... and I try to, you know, .. a l o t of things that I don't know how I can control myself, I find myself l i k e yesterday I a s — I almost f e l t l i k e phoning here because I f e l t l i k e — I r e a l l y f e l t l i k e I was going to abuse Robin (daughter). ... I r e a l l y did. I just was., so upset and so angry .. over nothing .... and i t ' s not her fa u l t .. I mean, you know, what should she have to .. so I know—I want to deal with that, I want to deal with—my .... why—why I'm l i k e that." Inv., "Why you get so angry and so frustrated and so upset and you want to change that (pause) because you don't want Robin to su f f e r . " Betty, "No. And I don't want her to be l i k e that when—I don't want her to have problems .. when she gets older." Inv., "Is there anything else?" Betty, "No" APPENDIX 182 Appendix I Subject Number 3 - Carl Transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicates pauses) Section on Si b l i n g s : Investigator,"As you were talking about your s i b l i n g s and yourself how engrossed or detached were you? Car l , "As you were speaking, I was thinking back, picturing each ind i v i d u a l in my mind as youngster. I'm just going back to the picture of after my Dad's funeral. What you described, i t seems very f i t t i n g , there are no changes there. I f e e l I'm s t i l l very involved with my family. I know we had very close t i e s when we were younger. We try to keep the same way now except for Peter, which i s unfortunate." Inv.,"I guess I'm looking for when you were talking about them, how engrossed were you i n talking about them, or how detached did you f e e l talking about them?" Carl, "I f e l t very close." Inv., "Close? To them?" Carl, "Yes, I think so." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Ca r l , "The good old days, (laugh) The way they were. Also I was making a mental....what they are l i k e now." Inv.,"Comparing them." Carl, "Comparatively speaking they are the same except for Peter, course cuz he's changed a lot..cuz of his r e l i g i o n . Inv., "What feelings did you experience inside,of you as you talked about your s i b l i n g s ? " APPENDIX 183 Car l , "I f e l t good thinking about them. I do miss my family. I don't have any family here in so a l l I can do right now i s think about them. I sort of envy Betty (wife) when she can pick up the phone and phone her mother. I couldn't do that any more." Inv., "What feeling comes inside of you when you think that you're not able to contact them?" Carl, "I sort of miss them, you know. Used to s i t around the table, t e l l s t o r i e s , have a h e l l of a good time." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations as you talked about your brothers and s i s t e r s ? " Carl, (Sigh) "Feeling of melancholy sometimes." Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have?" Carl, "I didn't—(chuckle) I didn't have time to think about i t . I j u s t — g o i n g back, the days were a l l fun and my mind was working l i k e a computer sort of tape to find each c h a r a c t e r i s t i c that came along to each i n d i v i d u a l member of the family." Section on Parents: Inv., "As you talked about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" Carl, "Well I was trying to sti c k with the facts as I have them um.... without trying to get emotionally involved." Inv., "You t r i e d to keep yourself uninvolved." Ca r l , "That's r i g h t . " Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" APPENDIX 184 Carl, "I wish I would have known more of my family background that I have, (pause) and I f e e l that uh something was l e f t out of my l i f e , and i t ' s d i f f i c u l t to be a father i f you never had one. (laugh) In that way, you know, I t e l l you the best I can." Inv., "You had the feeling of missing out on something." Car l , "Well I do. I f e e l sorry for my mother cuz she had more ambitions than just being a farmer's wife. She had no choice. I remember she told me one time that when the wedding was arranged she wasn't very, you know, anxious about i t and Grandfather said to her 'you can go anytime you want but leave the clothes on you, on your back right here. Go the way you came in th i s world.' He was very un- compromising to her." Inv., "How did that f e e l inside your body?" Carl, "Well i t was a case of the good guys verses the bad guys.. and th i s case the bad guys won out--my grandfather. It was rather unjust I think." Inv., "What physical sensation did that give you?" Car l , "Well I get a l i t t l e angry, a l i t t l e h o s t i l e . " Inv., "And where did that anger and h o s t i l i t y f e e l inside your body?" Carl, (chuckle) "I don't know, (quiet voice) It makes me have l i t t l e tears for my Mom." Inv. , "Right now?" Carl, "Yeah. Thinking what she must have gone through." APPENDIX 185 Inv., "It brings tears to your eyes to think of what your Mom had to go through." Ca r l , "Yes." Inv.," Any other physical sensations or reactions you might have had?" Car l , "It would be rather unjust of course and i t made me lose a l l respect for my grandfather." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Carl, "I kinda wish she had a better l i f e rather than what she did but those were the way the times were and you had to do with what you got but maybe because of that..I..I t r i e d to do a l o t of things for her when I got older. Went on a t r i p to Jamaica. I took h e r — f i r s t time she had ever been any— where. And Betty (wife) and I took her to Hawaii, you know, diffe r e n t places other than to Banff or Calgary or wherever, you know....had great times together." Inv., "Trying to make up--" Carl, "Yes, at what she didn't have. What I could do for her the best way I can with what limited funds I had." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "How engrossed or detached were you as you related the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s ? " Carl, "Well I sort of r e l i v i n g them (laughing) as I was going to each d e t a i l . Yes, yeah, I can s t i l l picture a l l those things." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Carl, "Well i t was a mixed emotion I had I would think i t ' s be-- APPENDIX 186 s p i r i t of helplessness, joy, warmth—felt the good and the bad. I guess that's the way l i f e i s , you get some good and some bad. Have to learn to take i t as i t comes and adjust with i t . " Inv.,"Did you have any physical sensations?" C a r l , "Nothing r e a l l y other than going into the TV screen of my mind to r e c a l l these things and to re- l i v e them again the same sensations I gave you before, you know, trying to run up the h i l l and your feet l i k e they are a ton a piece and you can hardly move." Inv., "As you were talking about that did you f e e l that in your feet, your feet feeling l i k e a ton?" Carl, "Yeah, I could not actually f e e l i t here but I could f e e l i t i t in my dream or r e c a l l i t . " Inv., "Any other physical sensations or reactions you remember having?" Carl, "Yeah. I picture the sun and the warmth that i t had on my back." Inv., "How did that f e e l inside your body?" Carl, "It f e l t nice." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Carl, "After I described a l l those things to you, you know, as I said before i t ' s l i f e , you get your good and you get your bad, and you have to learn to take i t . " Inv., "Did you learn anything talking about your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s ? " Carl, "Nothing r e a l l y more that I hadn't before. I didn't see APPENDIX 187 any hidden meanings, It's just the way things were and I t r i e d to t e l l you as i t was." Inv., "What about the time when we talked about the tantrum that you had and the horses kicking and the beating your Mom gave you compared to the beating your stepfather gave the horses? Ca r l , "Well I hate to see anything being abused whether i t ' s human or animal. Grant you I go and hunt ducks once in a while, but I don't abuse them. (chuckle) in that sense of the word." Inv., "Did you learn anything talking about that r e c o l l e c t i o n ? " Carl, "Yeah, I think so. One thing about the beating I was a very stubborn k i d . Um I was very head strong and I think that broke my s p i r i t in some r e s p e c t — I don't know why— but I think i t did cuz I used to have a l o t of ambitions that I think back about I think maybe that's what did i t . sometimes I have an idea..I think about i t . . I got i t in my mind., and I don't do anything about i t . There's a few things I thought about., over the past ten years and just recently someone else invented i t . (chuckle) Sort of ahead of my time and yet I sort of kick myself because i f I ... had more ambition, or my s p i r i t wasn't broken or what- ever the case may be--maybe i t ' s just me—I could have done something about i t . " Inv., "You f e e l you've l o s t out i n some way." Car l , "Yeah that's r i g h t . " "I know sometimes our kids are l i k e that too, my l i t t l e one i s l i k e me, the way I look at him he does that too, APPENDIX 188 sometimes he gets mad and he wants to h i t out at you, you know, and I try to be a l i t t l e more tolerant with him than maybe Mom was with me but them I probably deserved i t , so I try to go about i t in another way i f I can. (laugh) Some- times not easy I know. I can see i t in him." Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session? Ca r l , "Well I did, uh after I got home and uh, Betty (wife) and I sort of talked about i t just generally, not to any great d e t a i l . I thought back of other things that came to my mind, you know, l i k e - - l i k e a snowball reaction, y o u — y o u — you start with one and you get another memory, amother memory, another memory, you know. I could have given you a thousand of them I guess." Inv.,"The memories that you did give me triggered more memories." Carl, "Oh gosh yeah, most d e f i n i t e l y , both good and bad." Inv., "Um hum, any other reactions you had?" Carl, "Well I don't, other than, you know, facts i s facts and uh i t was with some emotion, the good stuff and the bad stuff a well. That's a l l I can r e a l l y t e l l you at thi s time." Inv., "Today we are going to work together towards an interpre- tation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Carl, "Well (laughter) a l i t t l e misgivings. I don't know, Um I thought back about i t — w h a t I've told you. And uh thi s i s the way my l i f e was and there's nothing I could change, APPENDIX 189 you know, for the better or for the worse. That's the way i t was and that's i t . And I sometimes think that some of these interpretations—depending who does i t - - g e t another point of view that you never look at and they're sometimes a l i t t l e far-fetched too." Inv., "You have misgivings about what—how the interpretation might turn out." Carl, "That's right, yeah but i f i t ' s your interpretation I think you--you p r o b — I have a l o t of confidence in you, personally. Because whenever we used to have talks with Betty and I, you included, you seemed to know my... thoughts and f e e l i n g s . . . . j u s t as well as I could but you could express them better than I could too.....So the c o r r e l a t i o n was very good there." Interpretation Process: Inv.,"How engrossed or detached were you as we worked through that process?" Carl, "Well I t r i e d to keep to the facts, you know, as much as I could." Inv.,"Here we're not talking about f a c t s . Here we're talking about—I was asking you some questions and we were working together toward an i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . When we were doing that, were you engrossed i n i t or detached from i t ? " Carl, "I think I was engrossed in i t , yes." Inv., "So, would you say very, somewhat-." Carl, "I would say v e r — t o p of the l i s t there." APPENDIX 190 Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Carl,"Well, I f e l t a l i t t l e angry... not at you-." Inv.,"No, I r e a l i z e that." Carl,"But uh myself and at l i f e . " I n v . , ( c l a r i f y i n g ) "At yourself, and at l i f e ? " Carl,"yeah I'd l i k e to improve on i t , but where do you s t a r t , sort of thing." Inv.,"Did that anger f e e l anywhere i n par t i c u l a r in your body?" Carl,"Yeah, I f e e l very hurt about i t I f e e l sort of sad about i t too. It's not an anger anger, i t ' s a slow burning one, you know." Inv., "Hurt anger." Carl, "Yes." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Carl,"My stomach's a l i t t l e upset, b u t t e r f l i e s , and that's n o t - very seldom I have i t . A l i t t l e sad (pause) in a l o t of way I think back, since the l a s t session, sort of r e f l e c t on my l i f e and—a wasted l i f e i n some ways. Weighing things I'd l i k e to d o — l i k e to have done—to what I have done and uh i t ' s l i k e t h i s . " Inv., "It makes you r e a l l y sad that your ambitions i n l i f e - " C a r l , "Don't match my...." Inv., "What you've achieved doesn't measure up to what you wanted to achieve." Carl, "Exactly, yeah." Inv., "Did you have any other thoughts or insights?" Carl, "Yeah (sigh) While I was thinking about being excluded APPENDIX 191 and i t wasn't by choice .. um I've learned to adapt i t to my way of l i f e ....... I don't know whether that's good or bad or not And yet I f e e l I c a n — I could have con- tributed a l o t in both cases, you know, various ways, i f given the chance And when I think about i t the same thing with my job too. Think back over a l l the d i f f e r e n t areas that I applied for and I studied hard, took night school, uh did a l o t of things in my own spare time, devised various ways and s t i l l not get anywhere and I could have r e a l l y given 150% ..to my work but because of--of being excluded i s the word that goes I guess or l e f t out um I approach my work d i f f e r e n t l y now than I used to. I do i t . But I don't have the same enthusiam, l i k e l o y a l i t y or anything else. This i s why I try to find a l o t of things .. outside .. of work .. to do. Things that I could do where—I think a l o t of people i n our business are the same way too. They go there, get their pay so they do something when they get home." Inv., "Something they enjoy." Carl, "That's righ t , exactly." Inv.,"Your whole attitude toward your job has shifted because you f e l t excluded." Carl,"Yeah, over the years, yes very much so." Inv.,"Not being able to get the position and jobs (Car1,"That's right.") that you wanted even though you'd studied and worked for them." Carl,"And, you know, I f e l t adequately q u a l i f i e d , you know." APPENDIX 192 Inv.,"But the people in the p o s i — ( C a r l , " P o s i t i o n of power.") picking people (Carl,"That's right.") didn't pick you. (Carl,"Yeah") They l e f t you s i t t i n g on the s i d e l i n e s . Carl,"That's r i g h t . " (Carl gives an example of applying for a particular job and being turned down.) Inv.,"It's something that's happened over your years, that the potential that you have i s just not being realized in various areas in your l i f e , in your job, and perhaps in your marriage as well. C a r l , "Yeah, so I'm just giving up a b i t after a while, you know, . . . . l i k e bumping your head against a wall, you bang, and bang and bang and after a while you give up and walk away." APPENDIX 193 APPENDIX J Subject Number 4 - Donna transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicates pauses) Section on S i b l i n g s : Investigator: "When you were talking about your s i b l i n g s and yourself, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna: "I found that I was quite detached, urn....in fact, almost- quite, quite detached." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "A lack of r e a l l y knowing them a l o t , you know..I f e l t that maybe I didn't know them as well as I should.... although I have a clear v i v i d picture of each one of them I don't r e a l l y know their sort of emotional sort of beings that well." Inv., "What feelings went with the thoughts that you r e a l l y didn't know them that well?" Donna, "Um...none r e a l l y . " Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, "Um only a couple I think..one was a b i t of warmth to John and with Sally I'm—I'm not s u r e — I don't know..sort of a mixed up feeling with Sally cuz I'm—probably cuz I'm going—used to think she was the greatest and now i t ' s changing..um... Inv., "That mixed up f e e l i n g , did i t f e e l anywhere in p a r t i c u l a r in your body?" Donna, "Um....(laugh) seems to h i t my shoulder, my--my shoulder., i t ' s quite funny." APPENDIX 194 Inv., " I notice you have your hand on your chest." Donna, "Yeah, yeah shoulder low—you know, not r e a l l y the heart..funny f e e l i n g . . r e a l l y (laugh) heavy on the right shoulder i s n ' t that funny." Inv., "Did that f e e l anywhere inside your body?" Donna, "Um...no most—mainly i n t e l l e c t u a l f e e l i n g . " Inv., "The warmth you f e l t toward John, did that f e e l in any pa r t i c u l a r place in your body?" Donna, "Um...sort of from the heart...(laugh) i s n ' t that funny (laugh) I..never..really thought of i t before but, you know, the whole l e f t half r e a l l y - - i t — l i k e - - y o u , know just a warmth." Inv., "Interesting." Donna, "It r e a l l y i s funny! (laugh) Haven't f e l t that before." Inv., "Did you have any thought or i n s i g h t s . " Donna, "About myself, or?" Inv., "About yourself or your s i b l i n g s or.." Donna, "Um..yeah..I think I did like..when I said, you know, l i k e , um, Mom and Dad's philosophy, you know, family's philosophy l i k e 'do unto others as you would have do unto you...and more.' Uh, I t h i n k . . . i t sort of, u h — l e f t a l o t of us a l l high and dry cuz....I don't know, that sort of gives me a funny feeling..even putting i t into words. Like..not that I mind doing..things for other people but I — I r e a l l y think that...came across..really strongly and I think i t was sort of.... indicating a s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g . . . . attitude or, or behavior which I hadn't..really thought APPENDIX 195 about before..and then going through that..I realized that that's exactly what came across..a l o t of us a r e . . s e l f - s a c r i f i c i n g . . l i k e even, even..I wouldn't say we'd, we'd damage ourselves..physically but—mentally or i n t e l l e c t u a l l y , um, probably did." Inv., "You might put yourself aside for someone else." Donna, "Right. Well I know that's not..really a very healthy way t o — t o go about i t , you have to be l i k e owe yourself f i r s t . , and then, so you can deal with somebody else in a..good frame., of mind and I — I think we're a l l sort of, um almost revengeful of that, l i k e - - i t ' s funny, t h a t ' s — t h a t ' s sort of how I feel--that we're a l l r e a l l y — k i n d of don't know where we are, just know that we have to, you know, do a l l t his for everybody else..don't know, that's funny, funny f e e l i n g . Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna, "Um I think I was probably..engrossed with that." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "Um regret I think...no um.....1 don't r e a l l y think I had any... feeling..other than numb..understood a l o t more now than I did...when I was younger." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, "No." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Donna, " ...no only t h a t — o n l y that fact that I think, you know, APPENDIX 196 i t would have..done a l o t better i f they could have communicated. Uh only I wished they had—had of been able to communicate... verbally a b i t better but nothing else. Sections on Early Recollections: Inv., "When you were re l a t i n g your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , how engrossed or detached where you?" Donna, " Um.....I think I was probably..um... detached from them." Inv., "Detached?" Donna, "Um hum. That's only because I've—I've discussed them a bit before." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "Um actually um..I thought there was quite...um i r o n i c a l r e a l l y that I shoul... think that they were...sort of... devastating before. I used to think they were r e a l l y . , t e r r i b l e t e r r i b l e . .acts , you know, especially stealing the banana., and now I can actually laugh about it...and the other ones " Inv., "You think that's because you've talked about them before?" Donna, "Um I think so, yes." Inv., "So now they seem di f f e r e n t to you." Donna, " Um hum. They seem sort of l i k e l i t t l e . . . sort of—almost an innocent... act, you know, rather than..the end of the world. And the other ones I think..well the other..the one about the drawing I'm....to this day I s t i l l don't draw. And I don't even think I attempt to draw because of i t , um but I'm—I'm star t i n g to..experiment a l i t t l e b i t but not.. APPENDIX 197 not very..not very much, you know, in t h e — t h e drawing, I ju s t . . can * t . . . bring myself to put something on paper..and I'm sure i t ' s because o f — o f that..that i t sort a......" Inv., "And did you have any physical sensations or reactions when we were talking about the early r e c o l l e c t i o n s ? " Donna, "um...no r e a l l y . . . . I related... you know, the stealing of the banana with...my son's attempt at... stealing something too and I thought, you know, r e a l l y I should... remember how—how uh... d i f f i c u l t that was for me...and remember for w h e n — i f — i f he does i t . " Inv., "As a parent." Donna, "Which I thought was quite good because um...as a parent you sometimes forget that you did some of those things l i k e a kid too." Inv., "So you weren't aware of any physical sensations?" Donna, "Um hum." Inv., "Did you have any other thoughts or insights?" Donna, "No, I don't think so." Between Sessions: Inv., " It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Donna, "Only um..actually I was quite..interested in how I responded l i k e , you know, in describing my family, you know, individually..cuz I never r e a l l y thought of it..you know, um as singling e a c h — s o r t of singling each one and being able to describe them..um actually i t was quite good...I—I--I APPENDIX 198 mulled those those thoughts over...a b i t after and i t was— i t was quite b e n e f i c i a l I think..in fact I think i t was quite a good idea (laughter). Inv., "To actually go through the process of thinking about your family and about your early childhood. (Donna, " um hum um hum") So you enjoyed i t . (Donna, "um hum.") and i t went on over the week for you." Donna, "Um hum" Inv., "Today we're going to work together towards an interpre- tation of that data, what thought's or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Donna, "Um...I was kind of interested, you know, to find out what...sort of i s involved and any—(laughter) anything that might t e l l me..um..cuz I'm sort of in in um..I'm undecided as to what to do with my future..and I think that i t ' l l , you know, yeah I'm hoping i t might sort of help me..identify what, you know,...well I know i t won't t e l l me exactly what to go into but i t might help me decide..on what I want to do." Inv., "You hope to learn something from i t that w i l l help you in making your choice about your future." Donna, "Um hum." Insights which occurred during int e r p r e t a t i o n : 1) Donna, " I knew I read body language but I never r e a l l y . . . realized how how how much I depended on body language, and and I knew I didn't r e a l l y depend on..verbal language... but APPENDIX 199 I did depend a lot on body language...I didn't r e a l i z e that u n t i l , you k n o w r i g h t now." Inv., " T i l l right now. So that's new for you." Donna, "Um hum" 2) Concerning her role of the stubborn one in the family. Donna, " (laughter) Funny i t f i t s so well. (laughter) It does." Inv. "And what does i t f e e l l i k e to have i t f i t so well." Donna, "Embarressing (laughter) yea." Interpretation Process: Inv., "While we were working toward the interpretation, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna, "Quite..quite engrossed. Not not necessarily feelings, but i n t e l l e c t u a l l y . Again I guess that's because my..my um....habit o f — o f how I deal with..things..Like I don't...yeah I think that's l i k e i n t e l l e c t u a l l y quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "um (sigh) l i k e what feelings regarding the information or t h e — ? " Inv., "Any feelings that came up during the process." Donna, (laughter) "Embarrassment."(laugh) Inv., "Embarrassment, ri g h t , I remember you mentioning that." Donna, "Um actually I'm f e e l i n g a b i t tense." (laughter) Inv., "Right now?" Donna, "Yes (laugh) mind wise, you know." Inv., "Pressure (Donna, "Yeah.") in your brain? (Donna, "Yeah, yeah") Pressure i n your head?" APPENDIX 200 Donna, "Yeah well no, i t ' s information that, yeah just a b i t , not..not too much just sort of--I know what's ahead." (laughter) Inv., "What's ahead?" Donna, (laughter) "I've got a l o t of thinking to do." (laughter from both of us) I mean that's good too, but I mean, you know." Inv. " So in one way you're glad and in another i t ' s a l o t of hard work." Donna, "Yeah (sigh) but i t ' s uh I—I'm glad because I think i t ' s probably..will help me a l o t I think i t ' s sort of informa- tion that I couldn't get at before." Inv., "This i s the missing key, the missing—(Donna, "I think so.") information that you've been struggling—determined to f i n d . (Donna, "yeah.") (clears throat) Remember I noticed you're hand there and that was just l i k e when you told me about Sal l y , can you t e l l me anything about what was going on there with you when that happened?" Donna, "I can't remember when I did that." Inv., "Right now I can't either but when you said your therapist called you a stream r o l l e r was that i t ? " Donna, "Yeah that's i t . And I was sort of trying to hold myself back I guess." Inv., "Is that what that hand there meant?" Donna, "Yeah probably. I think so." Inv., "Hold yourself back from what?" Donna, " From being a stream r o l l e r . Cuz I--I . . . . i s n ' t that APPENDIX 201 Donna, "I can't remember when I did that." Inv., "Right now I can't either but when you said your therapist called you a stream r o l l e r was that i t ? " Donna, "Yeah that's i t . And I was sort of trying to hold myself back I guess." Inv., "Is that what that hand there meant?" Donna, "Yeah probably. I think so." Inv., "Hold yourself back from what?" Donna, " From being a streamroller. Cuz I — I . . . . i s n ' t that funny...I don't know....I know cuz sometimes I f e e l l i k e that...and I—I...maybe that's why I never get anywhere because I r e a l l y f e e l that way and I don't want to be that way. I don't know." Inv., "Maybe that's what's holding you back. (Donna,"Could be." that you don't want to be l i k e a streamroller." Donna, "Yeah. I think that could be part of i t too." Inv., "So you're holding yourself back." Donna, "Yeah...yeah hum."(sounds surprised) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, " No I don't think so. It's a l l up here." (points to head and laughs) Inv., "The feelings that you have, the pressure in your head i s where you're fe e l i n g i t . (Donna, "Yeah) The rest of your body i s fe e l i n g fine—normal." "Did you have any thoughts or insights..?" Donna, "Um quite a few a c t u a l l y . Um about what I'm goin—how I' APPENDIX 202 going say mull this a l l over. Um actually quite a few because I think a l o t of the things you've mentioned are a l o t of the things that I hadn't really...couldn't r e a l l y um...get my finger on, or you know. So i t ' s actually —I'm—I'm, I'm kind of into...kind of anxious t o . . s t a r t , you k n o w d o i n g a l o t of the thinking about i t . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Donna, " um...no I can't r e a l l y . No I can't r e a l l y . It's just that I know that on quite a few--I'd never r e a l l y thought, you know, and—and—and I'm almost positive that that's the key that I was looking f o r . " Inv., "How does i t f e e l to find the key that you were looking for?" Donna, "Exciting! (laugh) yeah i t does." Inv., "There's a fee l i n g I'm going to make a guess about, remember i t ' s just a guess, do you f e e l a kind of r e l i e f ? " Donna, "Yeah....and i t ' s funny cuz I - i t ' s almost l i k e a well I'm not sure but i t ' s almost l i k e i t ' s sort o f . . . b i t of a r e l i e f to my... fee l i n g s . Like i t ' s an i n t e l l e c t u a l r e l i e f to my f e e l i n g s . Like I never realized that they were so., you know l i k e I blocked them so much urn..I don't know i t ' s sort of funny. I haven't figured i t completely out." Inv., "You haven't put i t a l l together yet." (Donna, "Um") I wonder i f i t ' s l i k e you had a whole—you're putting together a m i l l i o n piece puzzle and you were missing—you had lost a few pieces (Donna, "Um hum") of the puzzle and you couldn't find them. (Donna, "Yeah") and now you've found them, APPENDIX 203 (Donna, "Yeah") but you s t i l l haven't got them put into the picture yet, (Donna, "Yeah") and now you'd l i k e to complete the picture. (Dona, "Yeah") and I guess..I gather that you'd l i k e to do i t alone." Donna, "Yeah."(big laugh) Inv., "Because you're a loner r e a l l y . (Donna, "Yeah") and I'm pretty sure you w i l l do i t because you're determined. I'm pretty sure you w i l l do i t the way that you want to do i t , and the way you l i k e to operate. (Donna, "Um hum") and that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. APPENDIX 204 APPENDIX K Subject Number 5 - Elaine Transcribed from audio-tape ( i n text indicates pauses) Section on S i b l i n g s : Inv., "When you were talking about yourself and your s i s t e r , how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Not t e r r i b l y engrossed. I would just say right about in the middle." Inv., "Somewhat engrossed? Would that f i t or not?" Elaine, "About neutral ummm somewhat engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, "Good feelings...Feelings of..good relationship of., sat- i s f a c t i o n I think i n that relationship..um No disappoint- ments, uh No regrets I don ' t. . . don't f e e l any regrets. The kind of relationship that we've had has been real good." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Elaine, "No." Inv., Did you have any thought or insights as you were talking about yourself and your s i s t e r ? Elaine, "Just that the relationship that we had when we were younger I think i t ' s r e a l l y helped us now, now that we have our own homes and families and that i t — i t um there were good communication level..because I think i t ' s always been that way, you know there's—there's never been a l o t of c o n f l i c t and there's never been that feeling that we were r e a l l y distant..um although we're r e a l l y d i f f e r e n t — o u r APPENDIX 205 personalities are d i f f e r e n t . Our l i k e s and d i s l i k e s are r e a l l y r e a l l y d i f f e r e n t but..basically the l e v e l that we look at things on i s the same. ti Inv., "Had you realized that before we'd done that l i f e style analysis or did that just occur to you as we were talking?" Elaine, "No I think I realized that before." Inv., "Was there anything new there for you?" Elaine, "Not r e a l l y . With my s i s t e r I've always..um..it's been sort of l i k e an open book. Everythings been sort of right there. There's never been any question or any mystery about i t and she's very easy to..figure out but um...to understand. I think uh..she doesn't leave any questions, you know, what she thinks she said." Inv., "So she's quite an open person." Elaine, "Yeah I think so." Sections of Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Pretty engrossed I think that I was sort of, you know, I could sort o f - - r e l i v e everything I was saying. I was experiencing as I talked about i t I—um f e l t l i k e I was talking about something very close to myself rather than just talking about something..or just someone. Not so much feeling that I was just stating facts a s — a s f e e l i n g s . " Inv., "And what feelings did you experience as you talked about them?" Elaine, "Love, hurt $ • * • • fairness, warmth, mixed fe e l i n g s . it APPENDIX 206 Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Elaine, " I think warmth and.... anxiety maybe., um they are more o f — o f just the odd twinge of...not hurt or uh...I think maybe missing um...I don't know i f loss i s the right word--sort of uh..maybe sort of wanting to go back., even they—the more sensitive situations I think that the ones that r e a l l y h i t close to home, there was feeling of wanting to r e l i v e them." Inv., "Did those twinges or wants, did that f e e l anywhere in parti c u l a r inside your body?" Elaine, "No..Just a general o v e r a l l feeling I think, you know." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " I think surprise a l i t t l e , some things that came to mind, I haven't thought about in quite sometime and--arid..I think..I was a l i t t l e surprised that those were the particu- la r instances that came to p l a c e — t o mind..um you know, when you're asked to r e c a l l something in a certain time p e r i o d — I mean with a l l the things you experience within the year of your l i f e , you know, i t ' s interesting some of the...some of the minor things t h a t ' l l come up And a l o t of big things that take place..you know, things l i k e . . . . I was a flower g i r l at two di f f e r e n t weddings and...one of those weddings was l i k e 350 people, I don't even remember that, you know, or the day I graduated or, the day I got my driver's license (laugh) or something, those things didn't come to mind and those are the kind of things that..you know, I think t h o s e — maybe the big things happen and—and APPENDIX 207 we're so aware of them at the time..that once they're over we just sort of accept them and put them back in t h e i r . . . place, you know, put them in their s l o t s , and l e t them s i t there, but the l i t t l e things that sometimes don't have that much bearing at the time are the things that are r e a l l y important, you know, in that way." Inv., "You're surprised that these l i t t l e incidences that didn't seem to be big in any way or have anything much spectacular about them, those are the things that stayed with you. Elaine, "Um hum". Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " Just thinking that those things that I share with my children now um—" (Elaine talked about times she spent with children just talking and sharing.) Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you related your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , how engrossed or detached were you? Elaine," Quite engrossed... when you read those thoughts back to me I was expanding on them remembering more things that would come to mind. Talking about, you know, the...big events in our l i f e that we don't remember...um the picture of me, smelling the t u l i p , I believe that was the day, I was just remembering the dress I had on, and I believe that was one of the times I was a flower g i r l and he had taken that picture of me before we l e f t to go to the wedding and yet., the days events and the wedding and that completely l e f t me, APPENDIX 208 so I'm not even sure i f i t was that day but I think i t was but i t ' s that one—I c o u l d n ' t — I couldn't t e l l you what happened in the day—you know, I don't remember one other thing but I remember that time." Inv., "So when you were talking about those r e c o l l e c t i o n s , that one s p e c i f i c a l l y you were right involved with that." Elaine, "Very." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, " well missing some of those things, wishing I could go back, dp them again, um...maybe enjoy them more knowing... how much they would mean to me in years to come..um... but not sorry that I've not gotten more out of them, I think just (sigh) just enjoying r e a l i z i n g uh you know, just what good times those were..and how important now the l i t t l e times I'm spending with my own family... are... just r e a l i z i n g that those are r e a l l y valuable times and sometimes I think I do things, and f e e l I'm doing the right thing and think that I know that this i s important but i t doesn't seem to pan out that way. But I think, you now, no matter what kind of a relationship you have, you know, those l i t t l e times no matter what's talked about or what happens i f anything, sometimes I think I f e e l these l i t t l e things that we accom—well we didn't get anything out of that and I thought we would've but I think you do, you know, you get something out of every experience, you know, i t ' s a l l valuable, I think." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" APPENDIX 209 Elaine, "Yeah just twinges again just sort of....um...like the same kind of feelings you get when you've....lost someone that's sort of--not an empty f e e l i n g , far from that but um...sort of almost a desperate feeling that you know some- thing was gone and you can't get i t back, you know, there are things, momentoes you can keep from the experience but they're...you know, i n your mind o r — o r untouchable things I think that I — think that sometimes when you r e l i v e these things i t ' s not quite enough. You think i f I could just go back and..have the experience again, you know, having what you've—you've got from the experience i s great and that's one thing but you can never have that experience again, and I think there's sort of a fee l i n g of loss there. Inv., "Did those twinges f e e l anywhere i n particular in your body? Elaine, " No..no I didn't get any sensation l i k e that. Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, "Just that I think.... b a s i c a l l y t h a t — t h a t everything we experience in l i f e i s , you know, big or small or no matter what...um area of our l i v e s i t ' s in I think i t ' s a l l r e a l l y r e a l l y important, I think i t ' s important to go through a l l these things." (Elaine talked more about importance to do things. Between sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Elaine, "No not r e a l l y . I did find i t r e a l l y r e a l l y i n t e r e s t i n g . " APPENDIX 210 Inv., "In what way was i t i n t e r e s t i n g for you?" Elaine, "There were a l o t of things that I discuss at other times that uh d i f f e r e n t feelings came out, d i f f e r e n t thoughts, things I . . i f I had known that I was going to talk about i t , probably wouldn't have said those things, the thoughts that just came to me, I was kind of surprised." Inv., "You were r e a l l y surprised at the p a r t i c u l a r things that came out while (Elaine, "um hum.") we were going through i t . Like o r d i n a r i l y those things wouldn't have come up." Elaine, " I don't think so. Not i f I'd had more time to think about i t . You know, I think I probably would have... searched for bigger things, you know, instead of the l i t t l e things that came out." Inv, " Do you have a feeling of regret that you came out with what you (Elaine, "No" ) did or you f e e l you would have handled i t d i f f e r e n t l y had you known the things you were going to be asked. (Elaine, "Yeah" ) But i t ' s OK by you." Elaine, "Oh yeah. I'm quite s a t i s f i e d with how i t turned out yeah." Inv., "Just surprised." Elaine, "Yeah." Inv., "Today we're going to work together toward an interpre- tation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Elaine, "I was looking forward to i t . " Inv., "What were you looking forward to seeing or getting?" Elaine, " Just a continuation of l a s t week because I'm quite APPENDIX 2 1 1 pleased with the way l a s t week worked out and I was r e a l l y interested in follow up and to see how um how...it was just a just get an evaluation of l a s t week, you know, l a s t week was r e a l l y interesting but i t was sort of l e f t up in the a i r . I hoping that this week would sort of t i e i t up I guess." Inv., "Get some closure (Elaine, "Yeah") on i t . So you were looking forward to getting out of that l e f t - u p - i n - t h e - a i r f e e l i n g . Getting some closure on this and I'm guessing here but perhaps some curiosity? About what was going to be said here today?" Elaine, "I think c u r i o s i t y was more with l a s t week session, you know, I — I found i t r e a l l y i n t e r e s t i n g . . . that what I said and--and the things that came out l a s t week and now I'm wondering why I said them, you know, (laugh) I guess I'm looking for some answers to l a s t week." Inv., "To why you said them." Elaine, "Yeah." Interpretation Process: Elaine, " It's r e a l l y been enlightening. It just fascinates me that someone can pick up on an hour's conversation and—and ... you know, the things that you were saying were exactly what I was thinking, you know." Inv., "What I was saying r e a l l y clicked with how i t i s with you." Elaine, "Um hum. A l o t of things—thoughts that I have had, you were able to put into a sentence for me, you know, which which...well i t ' s not easy to put your thoughts into words APPENDIX 212 so often and uh I guess quite often somesone else comes in and can look at something from a di f f e r e n t angle or-or look at the same things i n the same angle maybe, I don't know, without the emotion." Inv., "While we were going through this process, working together toward the interpretation, how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Oh quite engrossed... very engrossed I would say...more today than l a s t week. A l o t of things were cleared up. Last week I l e f t quite confused actually (laugh) you know, I had enjoyed the session but um oh at f i r s t I was a l i t t l e apprehensive, you know, I didn't know what to expect, and as I got into i t I r e a l l y enjoyed i t and I was r e a l l y looking forward to coming back today. I kept saying to my husband I'm r e a l l y looking forward to today because, you know, I've got a l o t of questions that I want answered, and that...and uh...but I found today was—understanding a l o t of what happened l a s t week that I was r e a l l y engrossed." Inv., "It made sense out of things for you." Elaine, "Yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, "Some good feelings of good time good memories um... feelings of um anxiety u h u n c e r t a i n . . . struggling ...I think being af r a i d of--of some of the answers coming o u t — not of you hearing thera--but of me hearing them. Um, things that I was r e a l i z i n g and wondering maybe I'm not—maybe I'm not...quite ready to....to actually admit t h i s , you know, I APPENDIX 213 know i t ' s there but I've had i t bottled up for so long so I t h i n k — t h i n k there was sort of a struggle going on...as to just how much I wanted to get from i t . " Inv., "Did you have any physical reactions? Elaine, " That's a hard one...I don't r e a l l y . . . . I had the same problem answering that l a s t week. I don't r e a l l y pick up on the--the physical end of i t somehow. I think I got r e a l l y t i e d up in i t emotionally and um...wasn't r e a l l y aware of the physical end of i t . " Inv., "Is that maybe a pattern of yours that you're tuned out to the physical part? I'm just making a guess here." Elaine, "Could be.... Either that or I just...I'm working so hard mentally and—and ... emotionally that — that um... physical i s neglected... there's no time, you know, I think that's the key word — t i m e . " Inv., "Would you say that might be a pattern or that i s ? " Elaine, "It i s a pattern because I have i t now." Inv., "That you tune out your own physical sensations." Elaine, "Um hum." Inv., While we were working toward the interpretation did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " um I think maybe that,...the thoughts I was getting were mostly—was from ....that the things that would being dealt with here are r e a l l y very very basic. I mean they were l i t t l e things... that r e a l l y fascinated me that — they were j u s t — t h e y were d e t a i l s , you know, there was no b i g — I mean i t wasn't my wedding day or graduation or day APPENDIX 214 I had my baby, you know, I mean being r e a l l y big events and I--they were just l i t t l e things and I was quite surprised by that." Inv., "Do you think that's what you've been doing? So focused on the l i t t l e d e t a i l s in your l i f e that you've not paid atten- tion to the bigger picture of your l i f e ? " Elaine, " Yeah that could be..um the second part d e f i n i t e l y i s true but whether I have r e a l l y paid attention to the d e t a i l s . I think at the time they have been very important to me....but I don't seem to um....you know each one indiv- i d u a l l y , OK i t ' s — i t ' s r e a l l y important to me but I don't seem to put them together to make anything out of them. Inv., "Make a bigger picture out of them?" Elaine, " Yeah yeah I guess that's i t . Each l i t t l e incident i s very important at the time, you know, but i t ' s locked in i t ' s place, you know, and um I don't make a bigger picture of i t , I don't put them a l l together... to make i t a way of l i f e , you know." Inv., "They have been put together for you. What has that meant for you to have a l l those l i t t l e d e t a i l s put together into a picture?" Elaine, "I'm not quite sure yet. uh uh My problem r e a l l y i s um uh...I think i t ' s made me aware that...I think that when these l i t t l e things do happen, I'm going to be much more aware of them." APPENDIX 215 APPENDIX L Subject Number 6 - Fiona (transcribed from audio-tape) ( in text indicates pauses) Section on S i b l i n g s : Investigator: "As you were talking about your s i s t e r and your- s e l f , how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona: "Not as involved as the l a s t part." Inv., "You were sort of involved, would that f i t ? " Fiona, "Yeah, sort of, i t was l i k e . , you were talking about...you know, two s i t u a t i o n s . " Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your s i s t e r ? " Fiona, "Envy and uh...a b i t of anger that I think she....I was always one step behind always f e l t that she was a b i t better than me..one fear I have, and I know t h i s sounds s i l l y , but I don't ever want to be..heavy. I have a fear, you know of being t e r r i b l y — I want to be a hundred pounds again, i f I could go to sleep tomorrow—wake up 100 pounds i t wouldn't bother me. But I have to be thinner than her." Inv., "That's one way you can be a l i t t l e b i t something more that her." Fiona, "Yes. Isn't t h a t — I know..silly but...I always ask her how much do you weigh." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Fiona, "Sort of loss, I know I was very angry..when she l e f t for ... when she l e f t , moved away." APPENDIX 216 Inv., "When we were talking about i t did that anger come up while we were talking about i t ? " Fiona, "A l i t t l e b i t . " Inv., "Did i t f e e l anywhere in par t i c u l a r inside your body?" Fiona, "Sort of l i k e in here (Hand on chest)." Inv., "Any other physical reactions or sensations?" Fiona, "A b i t of a headache." Inv,. "Was this when you were talking about your s i s t e r , did the headache come then or did the headache come l a t e r ? " Fiona, "Later I think." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights? Fiona, "About my s i s t e r ? " Inv., "When you were talking about your sist e r ? Fiona, "That, uh..we're both fighting....we're s t i l l sort o f — both of us s t i l l . . f i g h t i n g . . l i k e there's been sort of a.. l i k e you say a battle to..and she's s t i l l f i g h t i n g . " Inv., "Did you see that as we were talking about your s i s t e r or had you seen that before?" Fiona, "I could p a r t i a l l y see i t before but now I can see even more." Inv., "Talking about your s i s t e r helped (Fiona, "Yeah.") you to see that even more. Any other thoughts or insights that you might have had ... as we were talking about your s i s t e r ? I'm going to ask you about the other sections l a t e r . " Fiona, " Um right now I f e e l l i k e phoning her (laugh) but um....I love her but yet I hate part of her...hate." Inv.,"Mixed feelings about her." APPENDIX Fiona, "Yeah." Section on Parents 217 Inv., "As you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Not detached but engrossed, very engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "Fear, anger, trapped, helplessness, um, g u i l t . . . feeling even having to say that about Mom—like now that she's gone I almost f e e l g u i l t y now that I'm free." (Fiona talked more about g u i l t she f e l t as a result of being caught between husband and mother. She also mentioned anger at Mother due to the demands she placed on her because of the mother's i l l n e s s before her death.) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations when we talked about your parents?" Fiona, "Helplessness." Inv., "And unreal, you had an unreal f e e l i n g come up for you." (Fiona: um hum) Did that f e e l anywhere in pa r t i c u l a r inside your body?" Fiona, "Sort of l i k e you wanted to crawl into a corner. (Fiona was s i t t i n g on the arm of the chair.) Inv., "You f e l t l i k e you wanted to crawl into a corner." Fiona, "Um hum, that's the way I f e e l right now." Inv., "Like right now this minute?" Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Does that mean you'd l i k e to get out of this s i t u a t i o n we're in right now?" APPENDIX 218 Fiona, "No, I don't know where I'm going to go a f t e r — I don't where—I'm where—I'm.... Inv., "So you're feeling trapped right now—like you can get out of here but—there's no di r e c t i o n for you to go once you're out of here." Fiona, "I know I have to meet a g i r l f r i e n d tonight but I don't know i f I'm going to be, uh..able to handle—Do you understand?" Inv., "Yes, I understand." Fiona, "I want to go for a drink but I don't know how I'm going ' to (Inv., "Cope) get home to get ready to back to..to that it's—something you've—I've been avoiding childhood and some-things that... r e a l l y . . I don't f e e l r e a l right now." Inv., "Right now you're sort of l i v i n g in two worlds (Fiona, "Yeah.") You're trying to think 'how am I going to do that and yet you're trying to be here too'." Fiona, "Yeah i t ' s l i k e being somethin " Inv., "Feeling of depersonalization right now?" Fiona, "Yeah I don't.... f e e l r e a l . Can you understand?" Inv., "Can I help you f e e l r e a l . Is there anything I can do to help you f e e l r e a l ? " Fiona, "Am I crazy?" Inv., "No." Fiona, "What happened?" Inv., " You're just so used to l i v i n g that way that i t ' s very normal..for you and i t might not be so—other people aren't used to feeling that way, but you are, you're very used to APPENDIX 219 fee l i n g that way. That's how you coped, a l l this time... that's how you coped., i n two worlds." Inv., "Um hum. Did I t e l l you I used to day dream in a world? I used to.... another world I used to escape to." Inv., "That was one way you could escape and no could stop you." (Fiona described the fantasy world she created for herself.) Inv., "That world was probably--it was probably more pleasant to be in than the one that you were i n . (Fiona, "Yeah.") And so that's how you coped with the horrible world that you were actually l i v i n g i n . " Fiona, " Every time I see the Lennon Sisters now...they're part of..." Inv., "How about right now here with me Fiona....do you f e e l that you want to escape from here? that I'm putting pressure on you?" Fiona, "No, I don't want to leave." Inv., "You don't want to leave. You're scared to leave." Fiona, "Yes." Inv., "And that's what making you s p l i t into two worlds?---that you're here with me now but part of you's feeling anxious about what's going to happen when you leave here?" Fiona, "Um hum. I f e e l safe here. I don't f e e l safe any place else. I'm being very honest. I'm near a — I don't know i f I'm near a breaking point..." Inv., "You're fe e l i n g desperate." Fiona, " DESPERATE that's i t ! I want to go on but I want to have to be strong, but how long do you keep on being strong?.... APPENDIX 220 before you.." INV., "How about I go and see i f (Fiona's therapist) i s available and he can come and help while we f i n i s h up. Would you l i k e that?" Fiona nods. The investigator leaves and returns with Fiona's therapist. The research questions were discontinued at this time and asked prior to the second session. Inv.,"Last week as we talked about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" Fiona, "Some anger Feeling of p i t y . . . awareness , of course, of...what they'd done...and. (cough) coming in touch with them and l i f e , you know, What they had, you know, what their idea of l i f e had been l i k e l i v i n g their l i f e through us." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations as you talked about your parents?" Fiona, "It's hard t o — I got upset and g u i l t . They f e l t they had done the best they could. Maybe they did." Inv., You f e l t g u i l t y talking about them. (Fiona, "Yes.") That upsetness, did i t f e e l anywhere in particular inside your body?" Fiona, "In your stomach, you f e l t sort of shaky...felt sort of shaky a l l over." APPENDIX 221 Inv., "And your stomach f e l t ? " Fiona, "In a knot." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you were talking about your parents?" Fiona, "That they were (sigh) I had them l i k e — a l m o s t as—they weren't r e a l l y parents, but wardens (voice goes up.) i f you know what I mean, and also that Mom had been l i k e a queen. We were a l l i n constant battle t o — l i k e I told you, you know. She was more than a mother, but almost l i k e David was more than a husband. Like David was almost l i k e a god Where Mom was more l i k e a ... queen... and they would explode or something, you know, always i n constant battle to keep her from exploding. Inv., "Those were the thoughts that came up, where they new for you?" Fiona, "I realized how a l l l i f e had been—the three of us were a l l in a battle to keep Mom—where she had been l i k e a..." Inv., "Was that new for you?" Fiona,"Um hum. I realized Dad's main ambition was to keep Mom—we wouldn't break what she wanted..and i f she did, i t would be l i k e a bomb going—you know." Inv., "Like your whole world would crash around you." Fiona, "Yeah, and there'd be no escape, you know. l i k e when she would explode i t wouldn't be for an hour i t would be for a whole day, and there'd be no where to run, no where to hide, no where to escape t o — y o u trapped i n — l i k e a h e l l . " APPENDIX 222 Sections on Early r e c o l l e c t i o n s Inv., "When you were re l a t i n g your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Quite engrossed yeah." Inv., "Quite engrossed." Fiona, "Yeah." (cough) Inv., "Can you help me understand what that means to you?—quite engrossed?" Fiona, " (Cough) It became very aware to me you know how I f e l t almost l i k e I was almost r e l i v i n g i t . " Inv.,"What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "Sort of helplessness um captive, a dark sort of f e e l i n g , sort of a dark haze and uh That's i t yeah I think that's i t . " Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Fiona, "Sort of a panicy, you know, not panicy as far as — sort of a sad hu r t f u l " Inv., "Not panicy so much as sad h u r t f u l . " Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Did that sadness f e e l anywhere in pa r t i c u l a r inside your body?" Fiona, "Just a l l — y o u know, part of a l l over." Inv., "I see your rubbing your throat." Fiona, "Right in here." (hand on chest) Inv., "In your c h e s t — s o r t of at the bottom of your r i b cage." Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" APPENDIX 223 Fiona, "Like you said i t w a s — i t almost seems u n u s u a l — i t was an unreal childhood and l i k e you say l i v i n g in 3 diff e r e n t worlds and—you know t h a t — s o r t of a p l a s t i c — s o r t o f — a mold and ah. Come to a p o i n t — t h e r e I didn't know which world I was i n . " Inv., "While you were going through the r e c o l l e c t i o n s ? " Fiona, "Like there are 2 di f f e r e n t worlds and you're—which world am I in now sort of (laugh) you doubted." Inv., "You couldn't figure out—you were confused as to which world you were in at that time." Fiona, "Which world i s r e a l . " Inv., "And that's-what you experienced at the time." Between Sessions: Inv.,"It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Fiona, "I completely came to the r e a l i z a t i o n that I have been l i v i n g — l i k e I told y o u — i n about three worlds..and you know even David's (husband) world, you know and I..have had no worlds of my own..and I think this i s why i t ' s so hard now. I don't r e a l l y f e e l I have a right to a world of my own..and now that I'm out on my own i t ' s — I ' m s t i l l trying to,well I don't know how to deal with—you know what I mean. Inv., "What was i t l i k e to go through that experience? I would l i k e you to describe that experience in words, what you went through l a s t week." Fiona, "It was l i k e , my l i f e went l i k e this (moves hand across space in front of her) i t ' s been l i k e a break, a change." APPENDIX 224 Inv., "You're moving your hand that means i t went along for a period of time and then there was a break." Fiona, "Yes, OK, I know l i k e t h i s divorce i t ' s s put me — i t ' s l i k e in a dream world, you know you s t i l l f e e l — I think that's cuz I don't know which world I'm in now, that's what I've come in contact—I'm out of everyone else's would which I'd been (Inv., " A l l your l i f e . " ) literally..yeah..pouring myself into..now I'm almost—to be out on my own i s almost l i k e in a dream (voice goes up) i t — i t i s n ' t . , r e a l . " Inv., "Yes, because you're not used to i t . (Fiona, "No.") So what happened l a s t session?" Fiona, "Well, I came in contact with that.." Inv., " ( c l a r i f y i n g ) with that?" Fiona, "With that r e a l i z a t i o n that I--why I f e e l l i k e I'm in a dream world i s because I'm i n — a c t u a l l y out of Mom's world, s t i l l part of me in David's but mostly out of i t and how do I deal without., everyone else's world and do I have a right (laugh) to a world of my " Inv., " A l l those questions come up for you, but the session l a s t week made you r e a l i z e - " Fiona, "Realize. Like the breaking out of the..the yard now where do I go from here? You're f r e e . . w i l l they s t i l l capture me..back., or once I get out there where w i l l I go? You know." Inv., "That fe e l i n g of l o s t , l i k e OK I'm out but where do I go now?" Fiona, "Yeah. Where do I go? Do I keep running so they don't APPENDIX 225 get me back? And part of you wants to be caught again—you know a l i t t l e b i t , you know. But then even walking up here today I looked down there..and i t does seem black, you know, where I li v e d compared to..where I am..I would wish the marriage had w o r k — i t w o u l d — i t would take..I wouldn't go back say for..I'm not, you know, u n t i l I got myself... into a world of my own that I could exist i n . " Inv., "That you could t r u s t . (Fiona, "Yeah.") Familiar with and used to l i v i n g i n . " Fiona, "Um hum, to go back to there would be almost like..death (voice goes up) you know. Not that I think he meant i t but i t ' s — h i s d i f f e r e n t way." But there are many things that I r e a l i z e , that I've blocked out in the past. You know you hide them. When I got out i t almost .like I was changed." Inv., "When you l e f t here?" Fiona, "Yeah, but sort of--I didn't know where t o — s o r t of f e l t myself sort of going around in " Inv., "Wandering around. (Fiona, "Yeah.") You f e l t dazed." Fiona, "Yeah, and then I phoned my g i r l f r i e n d and s h e — I couldn't get home to get together to get back, you know, l i k e I say I have to wash my hair and everything before I eat, by seven so she said she'd come down to meet me for a d r i n k — t h e n . So I waited for her and you know , and I didn't r e a l l y f e e l l i k e going into a—but that was her evening too, you know that f e e l i n g you don't r e a l l y want t o — b u t i t was sort of bright outside. The idea of going into a p l a c e — l i k e that was sort of a b i t — n o t r e a l l y the right attitude to g o — l i k e APPENDIX 226 I'd been in here, just got out sort of dazed wandering around and then within half an hour she came and then we went into the bar and i t was OK for about half an hour and then I only had one drink, but I found—the i t got loud and crowded and I started feeling r e a l l y . . . trapped—not r e a l l y being able to breathe and then she ordered another drink and I didn't want to be rude but I almost f e l t l i k e I , oooh, I gotta get out of here. I'm going to die. You know what I mean (laughs). I f e l t drained and I couldn't make i t home so her husband drove me home. You know we went over to her place. I got home and I c o u l d n ' t — r e a l l y - - I phoned Laurie-- found i t hard to get—everything back..together, you know what I mean, l i k e t h e — t o get yourself into the r i t u a l — i n t o the r i t u a l s and everything a l l seemed to be out o f — l i f e seemed to be a l i t t l e b i t all..mixed." Inv., "Confused?" Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "Everything you had organized, patterns before, everything seemed disorganized for you a l l of a sudden." Fiona, "Yeah, l i t t l e b i t but I was able to get i t , but i t was—by the time I got i t a l l together i t was a l i t t l e b i t late but i t was sort of l i k e you were trying to get everything straight in your head again." Inv., "You're usual pattern of washing your hair before you e a t — t h a t was upset. That you actually went for a drink with..without doing that." Fiona, "Well that was OK as long as I didn't have to eat but I APPENDIX 227 would have preferred, you know, to get yourself together f i r s t . " Inv., "Later that night when I phoned you, you said you f e l t d i f f e r e n t . Can you help me understand how you f e l t d i f f e r e n t that night?" Fiona, "The world looked a b i t d i f f e r e n t . " Inv., " How? In what way did i t look d i f f e r e n t ? " Fiona, "A l i t t l e dazed but a l i t t l e b i t relieved. A l i t t l e b i t more—so much more in touch with myself..that i t was..like I knew how I got from point A to point B. That's a b i t scary then you start doubting yourself a b i t . You know, maybe i t a l l didn't happen. Sort of l i k e a dream and I...but I could actually see how I got from there." Inv., "And now i t ' s clear to you where i t s never been r e a l l y clear to you before. (Fiona, "No.") So going there, that proves l a s t week was what helped to make that clear to you. (Fiona, "Um hum.") And i t made you relieved to know how you got to were you are right now." Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "You f e l t relieved somehow." Fiona, "Oh yeah. Sort of a r e l i e f f eeling that you actually knew... how you, you know, how you got here and some of the things you had blamed yo u r s e l f — a n d you know, contact with—uh, you know, the things that had happened in your l i f e and...like that f e e l i n g of, uh, the di f f e r e n t worlds, and being trapped, and that i t ' s actually that you've been sort of l i v i n g in a trap and to be free i s scary." APPENDIX 228 Inv, "When you don't know how to be free. (Fiona, "Right.") It's very scary." Fiona, "You f e e l yourself—almost putting yourself in traps because you're so used to being in one, i t s almost safe t o — y o u know." (laugh) Inv., "At least you know how to handle that. Being free--not knowing how to handle that i s r e a l l y t e r r i f y i n g . " Fiona, "It i s but yet you...I l i k e to take, type of person, would take a r i s k , you know what I mean, adventure. (laugh) Fiona talked more about being adventerous. Inv., "That's a resource . that you have." "Today we are going to work together towards an interpreta- tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Fiona, " L i t t l e b i t scared um, but excited, you know what I mean. What—what—what'll I find out? (laugh) Um, I re a l i z e the subconscious i s a very powerful... t o o l . I know I was using an awful l o t o f - - i t doesn't matter, i t ' s OK. (Fiona talked More here about so many things happened for her)--don't f e e l anymore—couldn't cry anymore." Inv., "Were you aware that you cried l a s t week." Fiona, "No, did I, oh yeah." Fiona talked about her relationship with her husband and with his mother. APPENDIX 229 Interpretation Process: Inv. "How do you f e e l about coming here today?" Fiona, "I find today even a b i t more scary." Inv., " You find what we're talking about right now scary. (Fiona, "Uh huh.") Because we're talking about an area that's hard for you—being out. (Fiona, "Yeah.") Being free, getting absorbed i n something you might lose control." How engrossed or detached were you when you were talking about your parents?" Fiona: "Quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "A r e a l i z a t i o n of what happened, you know, i f you want to (press?) the 2 d o l l s . " Inv., "That clicked for you did i t ? " Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "Did any particular feelings come up for you?" Fiona, "Through that? Uh.." Inv., "When we are going through the process." Fiona, "I f e l t sort of sorry for her in a way cuz I don't think she r e a l l y (pause) l i k e you say, I don't think she must have a l o t of fears too, and too—very proud person. Inv. "Any other feelings come up for you?" Fiona, "Like I hadn't been r e a l , l i k e something f r a g i l e — l i k e a - - l i k e a d o l l , you know, what that i s — t h a t ' s not human. Inv.,"That feeling came up for you again as we were talking about that." Fiona, " Uh hum, and in a way I haven't r e a l l y f e l t too human a l l APPENDIX 230 ray l i f e , you know, more of a possession or somebody's toy. Fiona Spoke of watching a movie in which a man had a possession over his s i s t e r . Fiona, "And a horrid—most horrid feeling went through me that I--I couldn't i d e n t i f y with i t but i t just sort of (pause) where—where—almost into a shake. You know where you c o u l d — I don't know i f i t was I saw myself through that or, but i t was, you know, you just go down—almost a feel i n g of complete panic or even worse. Inv., "Did that happen to you today when we were going through t h a t — a feeling of panic?" Fiona, "Panic, yeah l i k e I've been i n other people's--I haven't been me—I've been part of my Mom, part o f — y o u know, i t ' s scary to think of getting out. Inv., "Did you have any physical reactions?" Fiona, "Part of me feels l i k e right now i t ' s scared." Inv., "Scared?" Fiona (Nods) "Wanting out of the traps." Inv., "Does that f e e l anywhere i n pa r t i c u l a r in your body?" Fiona, "Sort of shaky and—and—and anger i s sort of inside." Inv., "Anger inside and you f e e l shaky." Fiona, "I f e e l sort of used and l i k e thrown away. Like something that's been kept, no good anymore, throw i t out and now what does i t do, i t ' s been so overly used. (laugh) How does i t get i t s e l f back together to start all--you know what I mean. And yet i t ' s expected of you. Somebody says APPENDIX 231 I know you can do and at times I f e e l l i k e saying heck maybe I c a n ' t — t o h e l l with i t a l l , you know." Inv., "When you talked about the shakiness that you f e l t inside your body can you t e l l me where abouts inside your body that shakiness was?" Fiona."You know, just a b i t shaky a l l over." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Fiona. "Am I so t e r r i f i e d of the unknown that I — f e e l safer to be i n . . t h i s . . t e r r i f i e d of f a i l u r e — t e r r i f i e d that what i f I go out there and I don't make i t , you know that..um, many years ahead, I don't want to concentrate to far—OK I got no family, so even i f you get a job th a t ' s — b u t at least I've got to have that, you know." Inv., "The thoughts that come up for you were—what am I going to do—what i f I do l i v e to 80, what am I going to do without any family and I could get a job but at least I'd have that. Did you have any insights today?" Fiona, "That I am a--I don't believe I'm r e a l l y , you know, I guess I've got to start believing in myself more. That I'm free." APPENDIX 232 APPENDIX M Case Study Number Seven - Ginny Transcribed from audio-tape ( indicates pauses) Section on Sib l i n g s : Inv., "How engrossed or detached were when you talked about your s i s t e r s and brothers and yourself?" Ginny, "Very. Yeah very. I was able t o — t o r e a l l y picture them the way i t i s . " Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your s i s t e r s , brothers, and yourself?" Ginny, "I--I--I f e e l . . f e e l l i k e MAYbe .. some of., my di f f e r e n t s i s t e r s and brothers ways they've maybe been changed by my parents ..because Mom—it was always a battle to keep us apart., i t w a s — l i k e Mom she doesn't l i k e when we get r e a l l y c l o s e — t h e kids amongst each other. It's l i k e she feels um.... (sigh) she f e e l s - - cuz she doesn't want us to be that way because i t might damage her in some way or — o r i t — I — j u s t — I don't understand. I don't r e a l l y understand. I think that's what i t i s . She just didn't r e a l l y want us to.. (Inv., "Be close with each other.") Yeah. It r e a l l y worried her i f we were..talking amongst each other or i f we even spoke to Dad. I f , you know, i t was Mom's birthday or something and we would talk to Dad, you know, could we..get her something? If she'd know we were talking to Dad in secrecy she'd get REALLY mad....just t e r r i b l e . " Inv., "As you were talking about your s i b l i n g s and those thoughts came up. What feelings did you experience with those APPENDIX 233 thoughts?" Ginny., "Oh I r e a l l y f e l t t i g h t . " Inv., "I notice you've got your hand at the base of your neck. (Ginny, "Yeah.") Felt tight? Is that a physical reaction that you had?" Ginny, "I don't know. I — I guess I just (very quietly) I just f e l t l i k e I was going to cry." Inv., "You didn't cry, but I noticed your eyes were very moist. It looked l i k e (Ginny, "Yeah.") you were going to." Ginny, "I j u s t — I don't know " Inv., "It's hard to describe those feelings that came up." Ginny, "Um hum I guess I REALLY.. I just r e a l l y . , care for a l l my s i s t e r s and brothers., i t ' s funny because l a s t night I was t e l l i n g my s i s t e r , gee, you know, t e l l i n g h e r . . . i t seems such a shame .. things were the way they were because (Ginny cries) um... i f we could, you know, I think any one of us could die at any time ( Speech blurred here) You never KNOW from one day to the next i f we're a l l going to., to be here. And i t just doesn't seem right that... you treat people this or treat each other t h i s — I don't understand i t . " Inv., " I t makes you incredible sad that your s i b l i n g s are l i k e they are with each other." Ginny, "Yeah. But I blame Mom. I blame Mom for doing i t because she did her damned est to keep up apart.... yeah she — she i t r e a l l y bothers me." Inv., "I can see that. You obviously care r e a l l y a l o t about APPENDIX 234 them and i t ' s r e a l l y sad for you that you can't be close to your s i b l i n g s because of how your Mom handled i t . " Ginny, "I guess I've wanted to die for so many years I guess that ....I've come so close to hurting, myself., and I just WONDER—see I f e e l l i k e my Mom KNOWS what loss i s — and I l o s t — I l o s t my p a r e n t s — I l o s t — I lost so much when I was l i t t l e and I don't think Mom r e a l l y knows what loss i s because... I think maybe i f . , maybe even i f — i f a of my s i s t e r s and brothers d i d — i f they know what i t was..to lose something or somebody then they could-- they could have i t in here (Ginny has her hand on her chest.) You know, they could—they could f e e l . They would be able to be more caring and more fee l i n g of people's thoughts and that. Love people for what they are not for what they look l i k e or what their handicaps are...I mean I f e e l l i k e we're a l l d i f f e r e n t and that's OK." Section on Parents: Inv.,'" When you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Ginny, "Uh quite angry." Inv., "Angry? And so as far as being engrossed or detached which would you say you were?" Ginny, "Very engrossed. Yeah I was r e a l l y into them, yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience? You said anger." Ginny, " Hurt um I resent—-a l o t of resentment, cuz I remember, I remember them always asking us which..one that we would go APPENDIX 235 with..if Mom and D a d — l i k e they'd say i f we s p l i t up which one, you know, are you going to l i v e with Dad or are you going to l i v e with me? And i t ' s just not a choice... that we wanted to make as kids. You were safe i f you wanted to go with Mom but i f you didn't then she would r e a l l y . . ( q u i e t l y ) get upset." Inv., Did you have.any physical sensations as you talked about your Mom and Dad?" Ginny, "Um..(very quietly) I could um v i s u a l i z e my Dad's violence. Inv., "That happened for you as you were talking about i t ? (Ginny nods) and how did that f e e l or did that f e e l anywhere inside your body or did you have any physical reactions?" Ginny, " Yeah. I f e l t l i k e c u rling up that's what I would do I would c u r l up." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you talked about your parents?" Ginny, " Not r e a l l y . . . ( s i g h ) I guess I — I f e e l so upset with them and now I ju s t . . . I just don't understand how—how they could raise a l l these kids and have— I mean a l l of us 9 of us under one roof and nobody was happy. I mean i t was j u s t — you always watched what you said or you never knew who was going to be screaming next cuz somebody was getting..their hair pulled or the belt or the cord off the ket t l e i t was always always t e r r i b l e , just t e r r i b l e . " Inv., "It's incomprehensible to you how 9 people can l i v e toge- APPENDIX 236 together in such unhappiness . " Section on Early Recollections Inv., When you were re l a t i n g your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s how en- grossed or detached were you?" Ginny, "Very much." Inv., "What was that l i k e for you?" Ginny, "Really sad because I don't know where the happiness i s . You know, I--I just don't know i f you had asked me about um happy times I could come up with any? No no. I don't know." Inv., " So the feelings that came up were sadness (Ginny nods) Any other feelings that came up for you?" Ginny, (sigh) "I Wondered why. Why--why a l l these...it seemed so negative, and I don't understand why." . Inv., "There's confusion for you (Ginny, "Yeah very much") Just doesn't make sense to you." Ginny, "No. That's funny because I thought--I thought that a l o t of i t was set a s i d e — that I was able to—when I r e a l l y s i t and think about i t I can't handle i t s t i l l . " Inv., "It s t i l l r e a l l y upsets you." Ginny, "Yeah i t does." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Ginny, "Yeah yeah with with...I could almost—I could f e e l their grabbing at me when I'm up there. (Inv., In the dream) yeah I could...feel the...touch l i k e just..but I did in my dreams too. I just f e l t them." APPENDIX 237 Inv., But right now when you were t e l l i n g me that dream you could f e e l i t somehow (Ginny, 11 Um hum um hum") Did i t f e e l anywhere in par t i c u l a r in your body?" Ginny, "When they were grabbing at me where did I--around my legs, cuz i t was harder to keep them up. (small laugh) I f e l t l i k e I was pushing—I must have been (Ginny has hands on thighs) pushing in my sleep... keeping my legs....down or something to...cuz I would just always f e e l - - I would always wake up exhausted." Inv., "So when you were t e l l i n g me about that dream you had that same fee l i n g in you legs right here." Ginny, "Yeah. Yeah." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you were giving me those r e c o l l e c t i o n s . " Ginny, "I had a l o t of thoughts. Um but i t was mainly--why did the toad die? What did I do—what was I..you know..I was r e a l l y being c a r e f u l . " Inv., "So questions come up in your mind." Ginny, " Yeah why—why--why would I remember these things a l l so vi v i d l y ? and (very s o f t l y ) . . . " Inv., "Did you have any insights?" Ginny, "Not r e a l l y . " Between Sessions: Inv., I t ' t been over a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" APPENDIX 238 Ginny, " I guess I r e a l l y looked at my family, you know, I looked at them i n d i v i d u a l l y when I l e f t and I t r i e d to compare me to them, to r e a l l y see where I was diff e r e n t or where I was the same and what not. But I f e e l l i k e I've r e a l l y gone down into a real depression and I don't know why." Inv., "Do you think i t ' s because—" Ginny, " I don't know--Idon't know what i t i s um.. " Inv., "Do you have any idea about when i t started?" Ginny, " A good week ago. I don't know what i t i s , I've been debating about getting a hold of my therapist before my appointment." Inv., " You're feeling stressed right now." Ginny, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." Inv., "Sort of at the end of your rope." Ginny, (Sigh)" I don't know." Inv., I have some information for you which I think w i l l be good to hear. It w i l l explain to you why l i f e has been l i k e i t has for you and why you have reacted the way you have over the past. It's not unhappy news. Would you l i k e to do i t ? (Ginny whispers something). Do you f e e l up to i t ? " (Ginny, "Yeah")....You could stop now i f you wanted to." Ginny, (choked)"I'11 just do anything t h a t ' l l h e l p . " ( s n i f f , sigh) Inv., " So after the session you r e a l l y looked at your family, in d i v i d u a l members (large sigh) and compared them to yourself, t r i e d to look at where and how you were d i f f e r e n t " Ginny, ( s n i f f ) "Looked at my husband's family too..I don't know why I even married him ( s n i f f ) a l o t of hate f e e l i n g s . " APPENDIX 239 inv. "today we are going to work togethe toward an interpreta- tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Ginny, (large sigh) "I f e l t — f e l t better because..I f e e l better coming here on a one—to — one basis than I do..to group, I f e e l I can talk better and I don't know why—I don't know why that is..um I think in--my problem in group i s I f e e l i s that..I've always got uh ray family my parents in the back- ground, t e l l i n g me keep your mouth shut and through growing up I always..wanted to talk to somebody but there were a l l the threats and you just kept your mouth shut, and I guess, you know, when I come in here..I just f e e l l i k e a l i t t l e g i r l and I f e l t scared and I — I love everyone of the g i r l s that are in here, I f e e l r e a l l y close to them, I f e e l l i k e . . . l i k e for once I can r e a l l y — l i k e I can relate to each one of them i n d i v i d u a l l y and I f e e l r e a l l y comfortable I can't believe i t . . . . b u t I find i t r e a l l y hard in group." Inv., "Find i t hard to talk because you've got the message from your parents but here in i n d i v i d u a l basis i t ' s d i f f e r e n t , i t ' s not as i f you're talking i f front of others, you're talking with a therapist so i t ' s not as i f you're betraying your parents. (Ginny, "Yeah, yeah.") So that's the feelings you had about coming here today that i t would be OK to talk with someone on a o n e — t o — o n e basis (Ginny, "Yeah") about the bad feelings that you f e e l . (Ginny, (Whispers) "Yeah." Interpretation Section: I began the interpretation and got to the themes from two APPENDIX 240 re c o l l e c t i o n s concerning her not being able to relax and be h e r - s e l f , that she always had to be on guard to avoid abuse in her family. She began to cry, deep, choking sobs, and continued to cry for about one and one half hours. During this time I was holding her and at times rocking her. Inv., " T e l l me how you f e e l right now. You've been crying for a long long time. T e l l me how you f e e l right now." Ginny, "I f e e l l i k e I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I f e e l . . l o s t . " Inv., "You just f e e l t o t a l l y l o s t right now." Ginny, "I just want..somebody." Inv., "You just want somebody., to care for you." Ginny, (S n i f f ) "Most of a l l my husband." Inv., "You're husband (Ginny nods) You wish he could care for you." Ginny, " Yeah I just don't know, don't know how anybody f e e l s , (words not heard here) towards the surface." Inv., "It's hard for you to know what other people are f e e l i n g , you don't know how to read them." Ginny, " Yeah just can't (large sigh)" Inv., "As you were going through t h i s how engrossed to detached were you? Involved? (Ginny nods) Totally involved?" Ginny, "Yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Ginny, "I just f e l t l i k e I was back at home." Inv., "Felt l i k e you were back at home in your childhood. (Ginny, APPENDIX 241 "Yeah." What feelings did you experience as you were back at home in your childhood?" Ginny, "Felt so unlove....lost, t o t a l l y l o s t . " Inv.,Abandoned maybe (Ginny nods) t o t a l l y abandoned (Ginny, "Yeah") Left to your own resources." Ginny, "Something about Mom and Dad, when Dad was gone she would always t e l l us..tha she was going to send us--have us sent away..if we were bad..and I wish she would have. One time she dialed a number. I don't know where the number was but she told us—she told us she would put our clothes under the door ( s n i f f ) she put our clothes over the door and she went and said that they'd be here to come and get us (laboured breathing) only I didn't want to go then, I didn't want to be taken away." Inv., "You were scared." Ginny, "I never remember playing or anything happy I just don't remember being happy. I don't understand i t . Kids laugh and play and you know get together with friends and they are talking about things they did as kids I've got nothing to share because there was nothing." Inv., What feelings did you experience?" Ginny, ( d i f f i c u l t to understand) "Feelings?" Inv., "Yeah." Ginny, "Resentment." Inv., "Resentment." Ginny, "Yeah against my Mom and Dad, I r e a l l y resent them, ( s t i l l crying) It was f e a r — f e a r that overtook anything because.... APPENDIX 242 i f you did something wrong..no matter how small i t was the end result was.so severe. Something would happen i f you.... l e t yourself go or just r e a l l y did goof off in any stupid Inv., "So the punishment didn't f i t the crime (Ginny, "No." and i t wasn't even being a crime i t was just being a c h i l d , but you weren't allowed to be a c h i l d . (Ginny, "Yeah." because you got severely punished for i t . So you had fear and resentment. Did you experience any other feelings?" Ginny, "Felt sorry for me I don't know, I just f e e l i f I had've known th i s was going to be l i k e i t i s for me now I never would've had my kids." Ginny talked more about her comcern for her c h i l d r e n — t h a t no one hurts them. Inv., You cried as you went through t h i s . Did you have any other physical reactions?" Ginny, "My chest was hurting and my head f e l t l i k e i t was going to explode." Inv., "Does i t f e e l that way now?" Ginny, "No." Inv., "How does your head f e e l now?" Ginny, "Buzzing." Inv., "But at one time i t f e l t l i k e i t was going to explode way. tt (Ginny, "Um hum."). Any other physical reactions?" Ginny, "Tired. tt In tt Exhausted maybe? Ginny, "Um hum I f e e l so lonely. tt APPENDIX 243 Inv., "You f e e l lonely. Do you f e e l abandonded right now?" Ginny, "Yeah." In., "Do you f e e l any r e l i e f at a l l ? (Ginny gives a Small laugh) Hum? That makes you smile." Ginny, "I can't function at home, I don't know why. I thought I'd come a long way, I f e e l r e a l l y pushed back again." Inv., "Is that what the f i r s t session did for you? Did i t fe e l l i k e i t pushed you back?" (Large sigh, Ginny, " Yeah.") Back into the depths of the pain?" Ginny, "Yeah..I—I get that way not o n l y — l i k e I've always gotten that way, and then I ' l l be a l r i g h t or just about as right as I can be and then...it just happens." Inv., "It's l i k e trying to walk a tightrope a l l the time, and sometimes you just have to stop. I mean you can only walk a tightrope for so long..(Ginny, "Yeah.") and then you f a l l off and you get up and keep walking that tightrope. Does that f i t . . t h a t f eeling that you're always walking a tightrope?" Ginny, "Um hum, yeah.. " Inv., "How does your head f e e l now, i s i t s t i l l buzzing?" Ginny, "No, i t ' s stopped buzzing now." APPENDIX 244 APPENDIX N Case Study Number 8 - Hal Transcribed from audio-tape Section on S i b l i n g s : Inv., "As you were talking about your brothers and yourself, how Hal, "I was quite engrossed actually in the d e t a i l s I gave you." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Hal, "I was envious of my brothers c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s that I gave you..just being strong and uh.. just being easy goin'." Inv., Did you have any physical sensations? Hal, "Um maybe more tightened—more constricted." Inv., "Did that tightness or c o n s t r i c t i o n f e e l anywhere in particular inside your body?" Hal, "Uh no, not r e a l l y , just o v e r a l l . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Hal, "As I said I was envious of my brothers., and uh.. f e l t I wasn't uh part of the f a m i l y — d i d n ' t quite f i t i n . " Inv., "Was that new for you or was that something you f e l t for a long time?" Hal, "It's been a prolonged thought." Inv., "Was i t any d i f f e r e n t right now when you thought about i t or was i t pretty well the same?" Hal, "Pretty well the same." engrossed or detached were you? 9 it Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" APPENDIX 245 Hal, "Quite involved in t h i s . I was quite engrossed i n — i n the re c o l l e c t i o n s and uh thinking back on i t . " Inv.,"I'm having a l i t t l e trouble with what quite engrossed means to you, was i t l i k e very or somewhat o r — ? " Hal, "On a scale of 1 to 10, about 10." Inv., "So you were t o t a l l y engrossed." "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" Hal, "Um sadness and los s . Uh.. anger., and happiness, both ends of the spectrum." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Hal, "Um maybe tightened up a b i t o v e r a l l , nothing r e a l l y s p e c i f i c . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Hal, "Um my brothers involvement of uh of bringing me up,.um.. the relationship between my Dad and my Mom." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you related your early r e c o l l e c t i o n s , how engrossed or detached were you?" Hal, "In the few I remember I was quite engrossed—very." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Hal, "Uh Feelings of trying to please uh anger ...uh... h o s t i l i t y . " Inv., "Did you have amy physical sensations?" Hal, "No not r e a l l y . Just the same as before..just uh..con- s t r i c t i o n a b i t . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" APPENDIX 246 Hal, "Just the degree of h o s t i l i t y I had when I was a c h i l d . " Inv., "Was that something new for you today or was that some- thing you were aware of before?" Hal, "Not quite so much. I knew I had i t as I do now as an adult and during later chilhood but not so much when I was younger, in the 6 to 8 year range." Inv., "So that was a l i t t l e b i t of a surprise for you to rea l i z e that." Hal, "Um hum." Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together c o l l e c t i n g the data, did you have any reactions after l a s t week's session?" Hal, "No. Not so much r e a l l y . My job's a rather major influence in my l i f e right now, I work ten hours a day." Anticipation of Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together towards an interpretation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Hal, "Just a normal session i s what I i s any thoughts I had about i t . " Interpretation Process: Inv., "As we were working through that process, how engrossed or detached were you?" Hal, "Very engrossed..very!" APPENDIX 247 Inv it What feelings did you experience? " • » Hal, "Um c u r i o s i t y . Uh b i t of sadness I guess, maybe anger ..of how my childhood went through... things I missed out on--missed out on being a c h i l d that p a r t i c u l a r area, very frustrated and angry." Inv., "Any other feelings? You mentioned c u r i o s i t y , h o s t i l i t y , Hal, "Curiousity just to learn more about my chilhood, cuz I was—I missed so much of i t , most of i t i s just buried very deep, out of my concious r e c o l l e c t i o n . " Inv., "Feels l i k e a shadow to you. (Hal, "Yeah not even that." Not even that, more l i k e a ghost. (Hal, "Yeah.") So i t ' s a part of you that you would l i k e to reconnect w i t h — (Hal, "Yeah.") Get in touch with." "Did you have any physical sensations?" Hal, "..Um no not r e a l l y , maybe a b i t — a t i n g l i n g sensation." Inv., "Anywhere in p a r t i c u l a r ? " Hal, "Ummmm just o v e r a l l . " Inv., "Did you have i t at any pa r t i c u l a r time? -Gan you connect i t to anything we were talking about at the time?" Hal, " um most of the time r e a l l y , no time in p a r t i c u l a r . " Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or in s i g h t s " Hal, "No not r e a l l y . " Inv., "I'm r e a l l y interested in that t i n g l i n g sensation. Do you mind i f I ask you some more questions about i t ? (Hal, "OK.") Do you ever remember feeling that way any other time in your l i f e — that tingly sensation?" and sadness. II APPENDIX 248 Hal, "Ummmm just l i k e when I'm grossly s e l f involved I guess." Inv., "Do you remember any times when you were young—as a c h i l d f e e l i n g that way?" Hal, "No not r e a l l y . " Inv.," You mentioned l a s t week that there was an over a l l tightening up—was that d i f f e r e n t from the ti n g l y sensation? Hal, "Um yeah." Inv., "How was i t di f f e r e n t or was i t the same i n anyway?" Hal, "Um actually they're both somewhat si m i l a r .

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