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Life style analysis from the individual’s perspective MacKay, Betty A. 1984-12-31

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LIFE STYLE ANALYSIS FROM THE INDIVIDUAL'S PERSPECTIVE BY BETTY A.MACKAY B.A., Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, 1965. B.P.H.E., Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, 1966. A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFULMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS IN THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES (Department of Counselling Psychology) We accept this thesis as conforming to the_reqn±red standard THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA March 1984 @ Betty Alice Mackay, 1984 In presenting this thesis in partial fulfilment of the requirements for an advanced degree at the University of British Columbia, I agree that the Library shall make it freely available for reference and study. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes may be granted by the head of my department or by his or her representatives. It is understood that copying or publication of this thesis for financial gain shall not be allowed without my written permission. Department of The University of British Columbia 1956 Main Mall Vancouver, Canada V6T 1Y3 DE-6 (3/81) ABSTRACT This study sought to explore the Adlerian concept of life style analysis as experienced by the client. The population con sisted of eight volunteer clients in therapy at a Mental Health Center. A life style analysis was conducted with each subject in two 2-hour sessions. Following the use of a cued memory tech nique, qualitative and quantitative data were collected for descriptive analysis. Qualitative data were collected through questions following each section of the life style analysis. Quantitative data were obtained using a semantic differential consisting of 12 bi-polar adjectives. Results for each subject were discussed in a case study format. Similarities and differ ences among subjects were outlined. The findings of this explor atory study were discussed. An unexpected finding was that the questions intended to elicit the experiences of the subjects tended to heighten those experiences and increase the potency of the life style procedure. The results of this study are useful for counsellors and therapists using and teaching life style analysis. They also give support to Adlerian theory regarding the life style concept. ii \ TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT . . . . . . . . . ii TABLE OF CONTENTS  .iii LIST OF TABLES . . . vACKNOWLEDGEMENTS viiCHAPTER ONE: 1 INTRODUCTIONBackground of the Study. . . . . . .2 Uses of life style analysis . . . . . .4 Basic Assumptions of Adlerian Theory . . . .5 Components of life style: . . . . . .6 The Family Constellation . . . . . .6 Early Recollections (ERs) and dreams . . .8 Collection of the life style data . . . .9 Interpretation: ........ 9 Birth Position . . . . . . . .10 Sibling Ratings. . . . . . . .10 Sibling Interaction . . . . . . .10 Description of Parents . . . . . .11 ERs and Recurring Childhood Dreams Presenting the Interpretation to the Individual . . 13 Life style analysis as Experienced by the Individual . 13 Statement of the Problem Significance of the Study . . . . . .15 CHAPTER TWO: 16 REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE 1Life style analysis as experienced by the individual . 23 Methods of Ascertaining the Individual's Experience . 27 iii Page CHAPTER THREE: 30 METHODOLOGYDesign ......... 30 Subjects ......... 31 Instrumentation ........ 32 Baseline data. . . . . . . . .33 Assumptions ......... 34 Collection of the life style data. . . . .34 Developing an Interpretation. . . . . .36 Presenting the Interpretation to the Subject . . 37 Procedure and Data Collection . . . . .39 Questions to elicit the subject's experiencing . . 41 Data Analysis. ........ 43 Definition of Terms . . . . . . .46 CHAPTER FOUR: 48 RESULTS OF INDIVIDUAL CASE STUDIES . . . .48 Preface .......... 48 Case Study Number 1: Amy . . . . . . 49 Case Study Number 2: Betty. . . . . .57 Case Study Number 3: Carl . . . . . .64 Case Study Number 4: Donna. . . . . .73 Case Study Number 5: Elaine . . . . .82 Case Study Number 6: Fiona. . . . . .90 Case Study Number 7: Ginny. ..... 103 Case Study Number 8: Hal ...... 114 CHAPTER FIVE: 12COMPARISON OF CASE STUDIES 120 Area of Involvement ....... 120 Area of Feelings ........ 121 Physical Sensations ....... 125 Thoughts and Insights ....... 129 Reactions and Anticipations between Sessions . . 133 Quality of Experience ....... 133 Effect of Research Questions. ..... 136 CHAPTER SIX: . 137 CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUMMARY:' . . . 137 Conclusions ......... 137 Implications and Questions for Future Research . . 140 Limitations of the Study ...... 144 Summary ......... 146 iv Page REFERENCES: 148 APPENDIX A: Information for Therapist ..... 156 APPENDIX B: Consent for Participation ..... 157 APPENDIX C: Consent for Release of Data .... 158 APPENDIX D: Life Style Interview Guide. .... 159 APPENDIX E: Semantic Differential Rating Sheet . . . 163 APPENDIX F: Sample Analysis of D Statistic Analysis . . 164 APPENDIX G: Transcript for Case Study Number 1 : Amy . . 165 APPENDIX H: Transcript for Case Study Number 2 : Betty . 173 APPENDIX I: Transcript for Case Study Number 3 : Carl. . 182 APPENDIX J: Transcript for Case Study Number 4 : Donna . 193 APPENDIX K: Transcript for Case Study Number 5 : Elaine . 204 APPENDIX L: Transcript for Case Study Number 6 : Fiona . 215 APPENDIX M: Transcript for Case Study Number 7 : Ginny . 232 APPENDIX N: Transcript for Case Study Number 8 : Hal . . 244 v List of Tables Table 1 3 4 A 4 B 5 A 5 B 6 A 6 B 7 A 7 B 8 A 8 B Dimensions of Meaning: Bi-polar adjectives for Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Dimensions Criteria for Comparison of Life Style Sections and Movie Ratings Criteria for Linear Distance Measures Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number One: Amy . . . Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number One: Amy . Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Two: Betty . Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Two: Betty Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Three: Carl. Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Three: Carl . . Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Four: Donna. Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Four: Donna Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Five: Elaine Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Five: Elaine Page 33 vi Page 9 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Six: Fiona ..... 94 9 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Fiona ..... 94 10 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Seven: Ginny .... 107 10 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Ginny ..... 107 11 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Eight: Hal ..... 116 11 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Eight: Hal. ..... 116 12 The degree to which subjects reported themselves engrossed in the life style sections . 120 13 Feelings reported by subjects A - D during each section of the life style analysis . . . 123 14 Feelings reported by subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis . . . 124 15 Physical sensations reported by subjects A - D during each section of the life style analysis ...... 127 16 7 Physical sensations reported by subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis ...... 128 17 Thoughts and insights reported by subjects A - D during each section of the life style analysis ...... 131 18 Thoughts and insights reported by subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis . . . . . 132 19 Reactions of subjects A - D after Session 1 (Life Style sections 1 through 3) 134 20 Reactions of subjects E - H after Session 1 (Life Style sections 1 through 3) 135 vii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am taking this opportunity to thank my thesis committee for their support and encouragement. I especially appreciate the continued encouragement and patience of my chairperson, Dr. Bob Armstrong. I also appreciate the advice and guidance of Dr. Larry Cochran in regard to the design of the study. I wish to express sincere thanks to Chris Kline, the Director of Delta Mental Health, for her enthusiam and support of my research project. I am grateful to all the therapists and the receptionist at the Mental Health Center for their cooperation. I extend a large thank you to the clients who volunteered for the study; for without them it would not have been possible. To my friends at New Westminster Secondary School and N. McNair, I express gratitude for their assistence. To my husband, Cam, and children, Colin and Angus, I am deeply grateful for their continued support and patience during this major undertaking. viii CHAPTER ONE 1 CHAPTER ONE Introduction Life style analysis as a technique was originally developed by medical doctors in order to understand the psychological fac tors involved in the treatment of patients(Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964; Dreikers, 1954). It was later adopted by some psychia trists, psychologists and therapists for use in the counselling of clients. It is used in individual, marital, and family coun selling. In recent years the technique has been introduced into the educational field for the purpose of understanding school aged-children. Since its inception by Alfred Adler, the focus of life style analysis has been on further refinements and the teaching of the technique. In the past there has been a paucity of research on the formalized technique of life style analysis, although components such as birth order and early recollections have received some attention. The individual's subjective experience of a life style analysis has been ignored in research. The purpose of this study is first, to explore life style analysis as experienced by indi viduals and second, to ascertain the effect of each section of life style analysis on individuals' experiences. Eight single case studies were conducted. CHAPTER ONE 2 Background of the study Alfred Adler, a medical practitioner and contemporary of Freud's, developed a unique method of interviewing patients about their early years. Adler wanted to understand his patients' psychological make-up in order to treat them more effectively. Through a method of spontaneous questioning Adler was able to determine an individual's characteristic method of operating in life. His questions focused on an individual's family constel lation and earliest memories. He theorized that this method of operating arises out of how each individual makes sense out of his or her childhood situation. Basic to Adlerian psychology is the belief that each indi vidual, due to his feeling of helpless as a very young child, develops a goal which he or she believes will bring him or her significance or security. The pattern of behavior he or she exhibits in order to achieve his or her goal develops in the first five years of life and rarely changes thereafter. This pattern of behavior Adler termed the "style of life" (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964, p.l). Adler used the following metaphor to con vey his concept of life style. If we look at a pine tree growing in a valley we will notice that it grows differently from one on top of a mountain.lt is the same kind of a tree, a pine, but there are two distinct styles of life.Its style on top of the mountain is different from its style when growing in the valley.The style of life of a tree is the individuality of a tree expressing itself and molding itself in an environment. (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964, p.173) Rudolf Dreikers, also a physician, and a follower of Adler, CHAPTER ONE 3 developed a systematic series of questions from Adler's more spontaneous style and detailed a methodology for interpretation (Dreikers, 1954). His method divided life style analysis into three components, the family constellation, early recollections (including recurring childhood dreams), and interpretation. The family constellation concerns sibling characteristics and inter relationships, as well as parental characteristics and parental and parent-child relationships. The early recollections focus on specific one time events the individual recalls in his or her childhood prior to the age of 8, and bring to light the conclu sions to which the individual came during his or her formative years. The interpretation involves working closely with the individual to combine information from the family constellation and early recollections in order to determine attitudes he or she has developed concerning self, other people, and life. Other followers of Adler have continued to develop and explain the concept of life style analysis. Shulman (1973) discussed the life style including why and how it develops in individuals, and the many factors that influence life style development. Mosak (1971) also brought structure to the technique by developing fourteen generalized life style types. In his analysis of the life style procedure, Gurhurst (1971) defined life style as the "totality of system principles which account for the consistency and directionality of an individual's life-movements" .( p . 30) . Eckstein, Baruth, & Mahrer (1977) and Baruth and Eckstein (1978) have produced publications entirely concerned with life style in which they present theory, research, methods CHAPTER ONE 4 of arriving at life style statements, and the development of interpretations. Adlerian organizations provide courses to teach the concept of life style and the procedure of life style analysis. Uses of Life Style Analysis A life style analysis has the advantage of collecting a great deal of information in a relatively short amount of time. In terras of time and money the technique is a very economical way of obtaining a quick perception of an individual's personality (Verger & Camp, 1970). Gushurst (1971) indicates several uses. The investigation procedure can be useful in reinforcing the rapport between a therapist and client as understanding develops between them. The techniques give indications of possible future problems which might arise in treatment, and they could indicate whether individual or group treatment would be best. Also they may provide information useful in vocational decisions. Kopp & Dinkmeyer (1975) state that life style analysis provides the school counsellor with ideographic information about the student. As most of the information that is available to school counsellors is nomothetic, this adds to their understanding of the individual student. Mosak (1958) points out that "the tech nique is useful in rapid psychiatric screening, differential diagnosis, and in the analytic psychotherapies" (p.308). Mosak also states that ERs are an unstructured projective technique and are useful for giving a subject's current outlook on life. Eck stein et al. (1981) state that the life style analysis has many practical applications. It can be used with deliquents, both CHAPTER ONE 5 individually and in group situations. It is useful for working with "marital dissatisfaction, neurotic symptomology, under achieving students, vocational adjustment, anxiety, and a plethora of concerns of individuals in developmental programming" (Eckstein et al., p. 34). Basic assumptions of Adlerian theory The individual is viewed holistically. All aspects of a person integrate to form a totality or unity of personality. (Manaster & Corsini, 1982). Thoughts, behaviors, feelings, physical attributes, and environmental factors are all considered in order to comprehend the life style of the individual. The individual is viewed as having innate potential for social interest, that is a feeling for the common good of all people (Adler, 1937). Further, Adler states that "social inter est, like all innate human potentialities, will develop in accor dance with the individual's self-consistent style of life" (p.14). Behavior is significant only when considered in a social context. A person develops his or her own identity by comparing and contrasting himself or herself to others. The behavior of a hermit is of no consequence unless it affects others. The behavior of the individual is considered teleological, having a purpose and a movement toward a goal. Individuals are viewed as creative. They strive, in their unique way, to achieve specific goals which help them gain significance and/or security in their social setting (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Heredity and environment are influencial in life style development because they provide the framework within which the individual makes CHAPTER ONE 6 creative personal choices. These assumptions are important in developing an interpre tation from the life style data. Components of the life style The Family Constellation The family constellation refers to the composition of the immediate family group, and the various ways in which they relate to each other. The factors important in personality development are the personality characteristics and emotional distance of each member, the number and sex of children, age differences, birth order, and the dominance or submission of each member. (Shulman & Nikelly, 1971). \ What is important about the family constellation is the way in which children perceive their place within it, not its make-up per se. In choosing their way of belonging and method of achieving significance and/or security, they are influenced by the factors of the constellation. They choose behavior, imitate mannerisms, and adopt attitudies, which will help them achieve their goals. They also reject that which is not helpful for them in this regard. (Shulman & Nikelly, 1971). The position of the individual within the the constellation--the role he plays— will have to some extent,an influence upon the patterns of the whole family and the personality of each other sibling. (Dreikers & Soltz, 1964, p.20) The characteristic ways in which parents conduct their lives, plus their attitudes and values, form the family atmos phere. The family is the child's introduction to social relation-CHAPTER ONE 7 ships, and patterns learned in the early years affect all later social relationships (Dreikers & Soltz, 1964). There are several types of family atmospheres. Atmospheres can be positive or negative. Positive atmospheres, such as encouraging, respectful, caring, and egalitarian, aid children in becoming responsible, productive adults. The following are several examples, of negative atmospheres discussed in Dewey (1971) : The rejective atmosphere—children may feel rejected even if they are accepted. In this type of atmosphere children do not learn to love and be loved. The authoritarian atmosphere—children conform or rebel to parents who demand obedience. The martyred atmosphere—one spouse nobly suffers the brutality of others and constantly reminds family members how helpless he or she is. The inconsistent atmosphere--children do not know from minute to minute what to expect in the way of discipline and routine and as a result have to cope with instability and lack of control. The suppressive atmosphere—children are not allowed to express their thoughts and feelings. As adults these children' have difficulty expressing themselves emotionally and have problems in intimate relationships. The hopeless atmosphere—children feel discouraged and defeated. They lack encouragement from discouraged parents. CHAPTER ONE 8 The overprotective atmosphere—children are prevented from learning coping skills because parents protect them from negative experiences. Information about the family atmosphere is obtained from the description of the parents and their relationship, as well as, the relationship of the parents to the children. It can also be obtained from the early recollections. As the goal of all individuals is to move from a position of insignificance and vulnerability to a position of significance and security, the methods available to accomplish this within the family are important. In the family the child tries by trial and error to overcome feelings of insignificance and vulnerability, and the success or failure of these early efforts influence the person's life style. Early Recollections Early recollections are interpreted by considering them as metaphors for life. (Kopp & Dinkmeyer,1975). Recurring dreams are similar to recollections. All behavior,and thought is a form of behavior, fits into a unique pattern which is expressed as the life style (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). The fact that these events are remembered is considered significant, not the actual individuals or events involved. They (ERs) are first interpreted thematically and second with respect to specific details. In the latter instance enlargement upon the incidents may be requested of the patient. The characters incorporated in the recollection are not treated in interpretation as specific individuals but as prototypes. They represent people or men or women in general or authority figures rather than the specific individuals mentioned. (Mosak,1958, p.64) CHAPTER ONE 9 Collection of the Life Style Data There are various types of life style protocols used to collect the pertinent information, one of which is used in this study (Baruth & Eckstein, 1978). In general the information is collected in the following manner. (See Chapter three for a detailed description of the data collection.) The individual is asked for information concerning his or her family constellation, the age of family members, the birth order of siblings including any miscarriages or deaths, plus any other signigicant person(s) involved with the family. Information about relationships with siblings and peers is collected via a series of questions. The individual is asked to give a descrip tion of his or her parents and their relationship. Finally,a series of recollections and any childhood dreams are collected including the feeling associated with them. According to Verger and Camp (1970) rapport between the counsellor and the client is not essential in the collection of this data. However, they maintain that development of rapport is necessary if the client shows any reluctance. Interpretation Following the collection of the data the investigator spends time developing an interpretation. In interpreting the infor-ation, the data from the family constellation are used in con junction with the recollections to find the current basic attitudes toward self,others, and life. The conclusions to which the individual has come are ascertained from these attitudes. (Eckstein et al.,1977). Family constellation and family atraos-CHAPTER ONE 10 phere form the context within which the individual forms these basic attitudes. In the family contellation the following factors are considered when developing an interpretation: Birth position The position of only, oldest, second born, middle, and youngest influence an individual's life style. The chronological birth position is not as sigificant as the psychological positions. Hence a second born in the family who is more accomplished than an older sibling may take on the character istics of a first born. Sibling Ratings An individual's siblings (and parents) form his or her first society (Dreikers & Soltz, 1964). The characteristic patterns of traits indicate the roles played by the children and their methods of obtaining significance. The way in which individuals compare themselves to their siblings will, to some extent, determine how they will eventually compare themselves to their peers. Sibling Interaction The interaction children have with their siblings provides them with patterns of interaction as adults. Children compete with each other for the attention of the parents, thus rivalries occur between siblings. The differences between siblings in a family are influenced by their competition with each other. As adults they may compete in a similar manner with their peers and develop competitive relationships. Similarities between siblings CHAPTER ONE 11 is influenced by parental values, parental attitudes, and situa tional similarities. Thus children who have similar situations in a family may form alliances. For example, the first and third children in a family may have more in common and form an alli ance. In adult life they may interact with adults in a similar manner in friendships and work relationships. (Eckstein et al. 1977) . Description of Parents The individual's description of his or her parents indicate the quality of parenting and the modeling of characteristics to which the child was exposed. Nurturing or lack of it is often indicated in these descriptions. The relationship an individual had with his or her parents is a strong influence on his or her life style as the quality of parent-child relationships affect self esteem. How each child chooses to respond to parental personalities is a key factor in life style formation. In their relationship parents also provide a model for intimate relationships. Early Recollections and recurring childhood dreams The important factor in interpretation is the character istic outlook implied by the recollection, not the description of the behavior (Mosak,1958). According to Adler the individual actively retains the recollections and selectively alters them according to his or her basic beliefs (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Within the recollections the interpreter searches for CHAPTER ONE 12 attitudes which the individual holds. For example, individuals may feel that they are small and helpless or strong and indepen dent. Other people may be viewed as helpful or selfish. Life may be a great adventure or a vicious jungle. The opinions held in fluence the conclusions made. Thus if an individual believes that he or she is little and helpless and the world is a vicious jungle, he or she may conclude that protection from others is necessary for survival. Such conclusions influence behavior. The person may chose to act in a manner that will gain protection from others. If other people are believed to be self-centered and and unpredictable then a different conclusion may be reached and the individual will behave accordingly. The purpose of recollections is to guide the individual to retain long range goals. The purpose of dreams is one of current problem solving. (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1964). Recurring child hood dreams are treated as early recollections (Eckstein et al, 1977). Adler (1936) considered recurring dreams as "a repeated answer to a repeatedly confronting problem" (p.8). The information gleaned from the family constellation and recollections are connected in therapy to establish an indivi dual's characteristic outlook and method of operating in life. The skills- and knowledge necessary to interpret life style data are the knowledge of Adlerian theory of personality develop ment, plus the ability to note similarities and differences that create patterns (Gushurst, 1971). CHAPTER ONE 13 Presenting the Interpretation to the Individual No emphasis has been placed in the literature on the method in which interpretations are presented to the individual. Instructions are given generally, to share the summary or dis closure statements with the individual (Eckstein et al., 1977, p.15) McKelvie & Friedland (1978) state that "disclosures are statements about how a person operates, without a value judge ment. This integration between the client and the counselor is most difficult, if not impossible, to describe" (p.49). Shulman (1973) considers revealing the Life Style to the patient as part of the treatment, "One discusses it with him, explains some of the factors that led to it, describes the effect it would have on behavior, shows how it has led him to difficulties and exposes its internal logic and consistency" (p.43). Life Style Analysis as Experienced by the Individual The focus of life style theory has been one of teaching clinicians the concept of life style, the skills of interpre tation, and the method of conducting a life style analysis. This focus on life style analysis has been from the clinician's point of view. There has been no research on life style analysis as experienced by the client. Any interest in the client's response has been to determine the correctness of the clinician's inter pretation . When talking with people who were in the process of a life style analysis the investigator heard comments such as, 'my hands feel like ice', 'I have a headache', ' my knees are shaking'. After completing the procedure the clients made comments such as, CHAPTER ONE 14 'I was so nervous', I felt so relieved', 'I felt nauseous, 'it blew my mind'. Therapists who use the procedure have commented to the investigator that 'many people cry', 'a few people walk out', 'people tend to become emotional during the collection of the information', 'I have changed the method of life style analysis that I use because of the reactions of my clients. From the comments of both clinicians and individuals it is obvious that individuals have reactions to the procedure and the reactions seem ideosyncratic. It appears also that the way in which the procedure is conducted influences how an individual will react. This indicates the need for more information on individual reactions to both specific segments of life style analysis, and to life style analysis as a whole in order to further refine the technique. Statement of the Problem Life style analysis is obviously considered a very important therapeutic tool by Adlerians. The focus of research in the past has been from the clinician's perspective. In the opinion of this writer Life style analysis needs to be understood from the perspective of the individuals with whom it is being used. The following questions of this study are addressed to the life style analysis as experienced by individuals. Question One: What is the range of subjective experiences of individuals undergoing a life style analysis? I CHAPTER ONE 15 i Question Two: ! What is the subjective experience produced in individ-duals by various sections of the life style analysis? I Significance of the Study Understanding phenomena Understanding a phenomenon is valuable in and of itself; it is necessary before further advances can be made (Valle & King, ! 1978). The purpose of this study is to understand the phenomenon of the individual's experience of participating in a life style analysis. Knowledge of how an individual experiences the process will add to the understanding of life style analysis as a whole. It is ! possible that information garnered by this study will assist clinicians using the technique, and it may lead to further devel opment of the procedure. Research on Non-Students ' Watkin,Jr. (1983) states that the majority of research has focused on students and that there is a need for Adlerian-! oriented research on inpatients and outpatients. This study meets this need by using an Adlerian technique with a population of adult clients (outpatients) at a mental health center. Research Concerning the Individual Shapiro (1966) presents an argument for studying the individual and claims that there is far too much emphasis in the literature on group research. This study analyzes the exped iences of eight individuals. CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER TWO 16 The purpose of this chapter is to consider the historical focus of life style analysis, and to suggest and explore a focus which has not been considered previously. When developing a life style of an individual, important constructs such as family con stellation, social interest, goal directedness, birth order, and early recollections are considered. Early recollections are often used to develop life style independent of family constellation data. Because they are employed in this manner, in reviewing the focus of life style analysis in the literature, early recollec tions (as utilized by Adlerians) will be discussed. 1911 - 1950 Adler began to publish his ideas in psychology in 1907, and although he did not use the term life style until 1926 the concept of life style was present from the beginning (Ansbacher, 1967). During this period, the focus of life style analysis was concerned with the development of the technique. Adler developed and used life style analysis with his patients to understand their ideosyncratic personal styles. He instructed others who were interested in his techniques in it's use. Adler's own method was a spontaneous relaxed style of questioning. Dreikers (1954) reported that Adler claimed he could determine a patient's life style in one hour. His students "stood in awe of his genius" (p . 80). In the 1950's adherents of Adler developed structure out of Adler's style. Brodsky (1952) discussed the diagnostic impor-CHAPTER TWO 17 tance of early recollections and, using Adlerian theory, demon strated interpretation technique. Dreikers (1954) organized the questions and method Adler used into three sections, family constellation, early recollections, and conclusions. Ansbacher & Ansbacher (1964) translated Adler's work into English and included the concept of life style and the interpretation of life style from early recollections. Mosak (1958) discussed the use of early recollections as a projective technique and detailed a method of interpreting early recollections utilizing Adlerian psychology. 1960's In the 1960's instruction on using the technique was facilitated by more refinements in the structure of the life style assessment. Research on life style began to appear in the literature, and increased toward the end of the decade. During this time the focus in research was on its use with specific groups, such as homosexuals (Adler, 1967), schizophrenics (Eisenman, 1965), and the reading disabled (Lieben, 1967). The validity of early recollections was explored extensively during this time (Hedvig, 1963; Jackson & Sechrest 1962; Mozak 1965; 1969; Ferguson 1964; Wolfman & Freidman 1964; Friedman & Shift man 1962; Holmes & Watson 1965; McCarter, Schiffman, & Tomkins, 1961; Langs 1965, 1967). 1970's In the 1970's interest in teaching the concept of life style increased. Adherents discussed many aspects of the technique. Gushurst (1971) expressed concern that the interpretation of the CHAPTER TWO 18 life style data was like " an act of magic" (p.31) because the method of interpretation was not explicit. Therefore he outlined the methods used by clinical "experts" and the abilities required to interpret life style data in both the areas of family constel lation and early recollections. The following are the methods and skills he deemed to be involved. The analysis of a family constellation requires four things: first, a solid and comprehensive familiarity with the factors that Adlerian theory considers most influential in personality develop ment, the implications that Adlerians find in certain types of phenomena, and the common life styles identified by Adlerians; second, the ability to recognize, discover and characterize patterns; third, the ability to compare patterns for the presence of similarities and differences; and fourth, the ability to make accurate inferences, either by extrapolation within an already identified coherence, or through an intuitive, empathic grasp of a particular phenomenal world. (Gushurst, 1971, p.32) Early recollections are interpretated in a similar manner to TAT stories. The clinician considers the theme of the ER and then the specific details. The individuals in the recollections are important in that they provide prototypes for people in general. The clinician searches for the characteristic outlook of the individual using the feelings experienced in the recol lection as an important interpretive indicator. Building hy potheses, the clinician connects themes and patterns to determine a unifying style (Gushurst, 1971, p. 33). Mosak (1971) contributed a great deal to interpretation when he outlined fourteen common lifestyle types. These are: Getter, Driver, Controller, Need to be right, Need to be superior, Need to be liked, Need to be good, Opposed to everything, Victim, CHAPTER TWO 19 Martyr, Baby, Inadequate person, Feeling Avoider, and Excitement seeker. Many life styles may take on the characteristics of these fourteen types but are not confined to them. Shulman (1973) in the most indepth discussion to date, elaborated upon Adler's concept of life style. He addressed the development of life style in individuals, the components, the influencing factors, the functions, the basic mistakes, and the clinical uses of the life style analysis. He explains that life style develops out of an individual's need to cope with life in an organized fashion. Life Style is the 'rule of rules' for the individual. It is the cognitive blueprint for behavior which is required when there is no instinctual blueprint. But the Life Style is not merely a collection of rules, it the organization of all rules into a pattern which dominates not only the rules but all coping activity. (Shulman, 1973, p.17) Infants experiment with their world in a trial and error fashion developing 'rules' to guide them in their daily life. These rules become more and more complex. They develop into a intricate pattern which is constantly reinforced because it is the basis for perceiving experience. Eventually the pattern becomes set as a meta-rule or law for the individual, a way to know what is required in life and how it can be attained (p.17). In summary Shulman (1973) states: The life style is a superordinate organizational pattern which directs behavior. By means of selective perception, cognition, memory, etc. it codifies rules for characteristic attitudinal positions. It becomes the intervening variable between efficient cause and effect, between the stimulation of the outside world and the respon sive behavior of the person. It is formed in early childhood and is self-reinforcing through CHAPTER TWO 20 selectivity, It is self-consistent, coherent, and unified. It is constant; it does not change from time to time or situation to situation, though it is not necessarily rigid. It can be recognized by its repeated appearance as a theme in the life history or even everyday behavior of an individual. It develops through trial and error and is influenced by physical, developmental, cultural, and familial factors. It is a necessary rule for coping behavior, to bring order into one's relationshp with the challenging and confronting world. It is therefore of critical significance to the clinician who wishes to understand the "why?" of human behavior. (Shulman, 1973, p.43-44) Other adherents discussed life style analysis during this period as well. Lombardi (1973), discussed eight different ways to know and learn about the life style. Eckstein et al. (1977) define life style analysis, its components and outline the technique. Baruth and Eckstein (1978) further elaborated on the theory and practice of life style analysis. The 1970's brought a new focus on research into the tech nique of life style analysis. As more people interested in Adlerian psychology entered graduate school, research on life style analysis and early recollections increased greatly. Previously there had been difficulty researching Adler's theory because the constructs had not been operationalized. Gushurst (1971) stated that "as long as this technique remains mysterious and inexplicit, the door is left open for both ungoverned sub jectivity and for the criticism of non-replicable unscientific procedures" (p.31). He also pointed out that the validity of life style analysis was still open to question. He suggested methods which could be used to validate life style analysis such as assessing the technique CHAPTER TWO 21 in relation to either a particular use (such as screening police candidates, or differ entiating between successful and non-successful bank managers), or through comparison with another assessment procedure (such as an MMPI, a Rorschach, or ratings by peers) (Gushurst, 1971, p.37). In response, some instruments have been developed which enable research to be conducted with life style analysis and early recollections. Altman (1973) developed the Early Recollection Rating Scale (ERRS). This instument consists of a bi-polar seven-point scale developed to obtain a rating on dimensions of social interest. West & Bubenzer (1978) developed a self-administering life style protocol (SALSI). This instument was developed to standardize the collection of life style data in written form by the subject for research purposes. Kern (1976) developed the Life Style Questionnaire Inventory (LSQI). This protocol also standardizes the collection of life style data for research purposes. Many studies conducted during this time point to the validity of Adlerian concepts of birth order, early recollections and life style. Neild, Ward, and Edgar (1977) validated Adler's concept of psychological birth order. Eckstein (1976) validated that changes do occur in early recollections after counselling. This signifies that attitudes and behaviors can change and that ERs are related to current life philosophies. Taylor (1975) found further support for ERs as a projective technique. Magner-Harris, Riordan, Kern, & Curlette (1979) and Magner-Harris, Riordan, and Kern (1981) found interjudge reliability of the LSQI to be moderately high indicating validity for the life style CHAPTER TWO 22 construct and support for Adlerian theory on personality types. West and Bubenzer (1978), using factor analysis, found added construct validity for Adlerian life style theory. They dis cerned factors from information collected using a life style inventory (SALSI) which relate to Adlerian constructs. Watkins (1983), in examining the research during this decade that supports Adlerian psychology, concluded that research on life style and early recollections has increased but is still somewhat limited. Another focus of research during the 1970's was to develop new methods of gathering life style data and of presenting life style interpretations to clients. Various methods for the presentation of interpretations have been developed which include drawing (Kvols-Reidler & Kvols-Reidler, 1978), drama (Colker & Funk, 1978), rewriting early recollections (Willhite, 1978), story telling (Schnebly, 1981), using the ideal self (Rule,1982), and constructing a visual representation (Farnham & Chase, 1982). 1980's Research in the 1980's is continuing to validate the constructs of Adlerian theory. The need for further validation of the life style construct is pointed out by Gentry, Winer, Sig.elman, & Phillips (1980) The Adlerian concept of life style has survived a history of diverse definitions, methods of assessment, and classification schemes, resulting in the development of a construct which despite its appeal and usefulness has yet to be fully standardized or objectified, (p.85) The research of life style and early recollections during CHAPTER TWO 23 this decade is providing this needed validation (Warren 1982; Hafner, Ebrahim, Fakouri, & Labrentz 1982; Lewis 1983; and Bichekas & Newlon 1982). Life style from the point of view of the client It has been important to understand, learn, and validate life style analysis in order that clinicians can effectively utilize it with their clients and to facilitate further research. Also, standardized methods of collecting the data are necessary for research purposes. There has never been research on the experience of the subject on whom the life style analysis is used. This writer believes it is important to understand the technique from the client's point of view for two reasons. First, clinicians learning and utilizing the technique can be made aware of possible reactions and responses of clients which may be used as an adjunct during the process. Second, knowledge of the clients' experiences will add to the existing knowledge of life style analysis and will guide development of the technique. Information in the literature about the client's experience of the life style analysis is only anecdotal. Experiences of life style components, such as family constellation and early recollections, are discussed along with those of the technique as a whole . Individuals have had strong responses while undergoing a life style analysis and while giving early recollections. Wexburg (1929) discussed the reaction of the patient to having his or childhood situation reconstructed. CHAPTER TWO 24 Not always, certainly, but at least sometimes--the patient leaves the first individual psych ological consultation shaken to the depths and with the feeling that he has arrived at a turning point. And this by no means through an unctuous sermon, but through a few quiet matter-of-fact words, which however go straight to the j center of his being, (p.54) In a case study of a life style analysis reported by Manaster & Corsini (1982) a client cries, covers his face, and calls out for his father while relating a recollection (p.274). Another client cried, and spontaneously reported feeling nauseous and disgusted during the relating of an ER (Barrett 1981). 'Jane', the third personality of 'Eve White and Eve Black', emerged while a recol lection was being related (Osgood 1976). Niederland (1965) reports two cases where the discussion of early experiences | brought about dramatic therapeutic results in patients. These i examples demonstrate that undergoing a life style analysis and relating early recollections can be a powerful experience for an individual. i Having life style data interpreted can also be a powerful experience. In a case study cited previously, Manaster & Corsini (1982) report the following response of the client to an inter pretation of a recollection during a life style analysis: Client stops talking, closes his eyes, and some sort of internal struggle seems to be going on. Therapist waits, thinking perhaps client will cry again, but he does not. (p.277) Twice this client spontaneously remarked "This is heavy stuff" while responding to interpretations of recollections (pp.277-278). Ackerknecht (1976) reports the response of a client to an interpretation. CHAPTER TWO 25 The subject then showed a clear recognition reflex and began to substantiate this hypothesis seeing his early life now in a completely new light.(p.53) The reactions and responses of clients that have been of most interest to clinicians are those which indicate to clini cians that their interpretations are correct. These responses are termed 'recognition reflexes'. Manaster & Corsini (1982) state that The reflex is useful for both the therapist and the client. It is a clear sign that the therapist's statement and interpretation hit the mark. By pointing the reflex reaction out to clients, the therapist can illustrate how deeply understood this fact is for the patient, (p. 206) Because the responses and reactions of the clients are important to the clinicians to determine the correctness of their interpre tations, they are often reported, however, only in an ancedotal manner. Papanek (1972) reports a case in which the 'interpreta tion of one ER brought immediate relief' (p.172), and another interpretation which made a client 'very happy' (p.175). McKelvie (1979) cites a case in which a client responded dramatically to a disclosure but he does not describe the response (p.250). McAbee & McAbee (1979) report a case in which a client 'confirmed the assessments both in her recognition reflexes and verbally' (p. 147). In a demonstation of a life style assessment, Mosak (1972), describes body language which, to him, confirmed his interpretations: If you could see Ann as I see her from this position, you would have seen the glimmer of a recognition reflex when I mention 'always tried to please parents' (p.201) CHAPTER TWO 26 Ann is now nodding her head (p.202). Ann nods and burst out laughing in confirm ation (p. 202) Willhite (1978), working with his method of early recollec tion analysis, reports "the client nearly always responds to this (interpretation) with a recognition—that 'Aha' response which is a prelude to opening up to insight and change" (p.149). These statements focus on the reaction or the response of the client as it relates to the correctness of the clinicians' interpretation. Obviously responses and reactions are very important in Adlerian psychology yet clinicians or researchers have shown no interest in the subjective internal experiences involved in the recognition reflex. While the recognition reflex is an interesting phenomenon and needs to be examined from the individual's perspective, it is also important that reactions and responses of the individual to all aspects of the life style analysis procedure be explored and examined in order to under stand the impact the technique has on the individual since impor tant responses may have been ignored. Thus, this study explores all the reactions and responses of the individual to the life style analysis procedure and does not attempt to distinguish among recognition reflexes and other responses and reactions. As mentioned previously numerous methods of conducting life style analysis and presenting interpretations have been deve loped. Some of the reasons given for such development are consi derations for the clients and the possible reactions they might have to the procedure. Rule (1982) states there is "confronta tion inherent in the usual interpretative approach" and offers CHAPTER TWO 27 his alternative method as a way for the confrontation "to be expressed in a more indirect, and perhaps for some clients, in a more thought provoking manner" (p.338). For similar reasons Schnebly (1981) offers his short story form of presenting inter pretations as 'an effective method of presenting a client's belief sytem in an interesting, insightful, and non-threatening way" (p.7). From this it is apparent that clinitians are sensi tive to the negative reactions and responses of clients and attempt to minimize them. This writer believes that further knowledge of clients' experiences will aid in the development of the technique. Methods of Ascertaining the Individual's Experiences An individual's reactions can be both obserable and unobservable. Because many events are often unobservable self-report is one method that must be relied upon. One obvious method of self-report is to ask the clients about their experi ences during the events. Rogers (1951) used this technique when he examined verbatim statements made by clients about their experiences of therapy. Another method of self-report is the semantic differential (SD) which provides quantitative data. The SD "is a method of observing and measuring the psychological meaning of things, usually concepts." (Kerlinger, 1964, p.564). Due to the ideographic nature of life style the case study format is a method which lends itself well to ascertaining the individual's experiences. Research using the case study format is given strong support in the literature. Shapiro (1966) claims that individual-centered research is necessary for advances to be CHAPTER TWO 28 made in the experimental investigation of processes, and that it can produce meaningful and replicable results (p. 19). Kazdin (1981) states that case studies can be made replicable by em ploying quantitative measures in the design. The greatest draw back of the single case study are threats to internal validity. Kazdin (1981) discusses several methods of design, which control for threats to internal validity, one of which is using several case studies. Exploring individuals' experiences during the course of treatment can affect the treatment. Cochran (1981) utilized a method of monitoring unobservable events in individuals which does not interfere with their experiences. Following treatment the subjects' memories are cued back to specific sections of the treatment and are asked about their experiences during each sec tion. In this way, unobservable events are made explicit without interference. Methods which do not involve self-report, such as observing and measuring the physiological responses of the subject, are considered beyond the scope of this study. Summary In this chapter life style analysis in the literature has been considered. The development of the technique by Alfred Adler and his adherents was outlined. Life style as a construct was explored. It was found that although life style is con sidered a valid and reliable construct further validation is warrented. To date, the focus of the technique has been from the clinician's perspective whereas life style analysis from the CHAPTER TWO 29 individual's perspective has been ignored. This points to a need for knowledge of the individual's experiences while undergoing a life style analysis. As the focus of this study is from this perspective, methods that have been used in research to ascertain information from the individual, were outlined. Chapter Three outlines the methodology for this study. CHAPTER THREE 30 CHAPTER 3 METHODOLOGY Design Subjects participated in a life style analysis with the in vestigator on an individual basis. The procedure was conducted in two sessions which were held a week apart. In the first ses-sion baseline data was collected by asking subjects to rate,using a semantic differential (SD), their experiences while watching a range of movies. Then the data collection sections of the life style analysis sections were carried out uninterrupted. Subjects memories were then cued back to each section using the cued memory technique. After the cuing of each section questions were posed regarding the subject's experiences and a semantic differ ential form was completed. After one week the subjects and the investigator worked together toward an interpretation of the data. At the completion of the interpretation the subjects were again asked questions regarding their experiences and completed an SD form. The design employed in this study uses the case study format. This method was chosen because it enables in-depth know ledge of the individual to be obtained. It can also bring to light information regarding the effects of treatment which can approximate that of experimental studies (Kazdin 1981). Both qualitative and quantitative data were obtained. Qualitative data were obtained by asking questions regarding the subjective experiences of the subjects. The questions are mainly open-ended in format. Quantitative data were obtained by employing a seman-CHAPTER THREE 31 tic differential (SD). Baseline data and data regarding the sub jects' experiences were collected using the SD. In order to study the experiences of the subject with mimimal interference with the life style analysis technique, the cued memory technique was employed (Cochran 1981). The goals of this study were first, to explore the range of subjective experiences of individual's undergoing a life style analysis, and second to ascertain the subjective experiences produced by various parts of the life style analysis. The case study format is considered advantageous to meet these goals. From these findings hypotheses can be generated for future research. Subjects The subjects involved in this study were clients currently in therapy at a mental health clinic. They are adults ranging in age from 25 to 48 with a mean age of 33.0. The sample consists of six women and two men with two of the individuals forming a married couple. The length of therapy prior to participation in the life style analysis ranged from 6 to 33 months, with a mean of 20.1 months. All of the female subjects had also been invol ved in group counselling for issues such as incest, depression, and/or life planning. To recruit subjects,the investigator met with the therapists at the clinic and informed them of the research project. They were given typed information concerning the project (See Appendix A). Therapists informed their clients of the project and if they were interested they were told they could ask the receptionist to arrange an appointment with the investigator. Subjects were CHAPTER THREE 32 assured that if they wish to withdraw from the project, their counselling at the clinic would not be affected in any way. The investigator contacted the subjects by telephone and arranged an appointment for the first session. Instrumentation The Life Style Interview Guide (Appendix D) is styled after the protocol in Baruth & Eckstein (1978, pp. 145 - 148). The guide was used with two minor modifications. First, in the section regarding siblings, the question 'What was your family motto?' was changed to 'If you got a strong message from your family as you were growing up, what would that message say?' From experience the investigator found clients had difficulty answering this question in its original form. Clients easily answered the rephrased version. The second modification was in the section regarding early recollections (ERs). After each ER was elicited the subject was asked, 'What was the most vivid part of the recollection?'. Manaster & Corsini (1982) give instruc tions to ask 'What is the clearest in this memory—what stands out?' (p.187). No reason is given for asking this question. In the investigator's opinion this question elicits the individual's focus of the recollection and thus indicates interpretive clues. Semantic Differential Rating Sheet (See Appendix E ) A semantic differential (SD) using a seven point scale was constructed employing 12 pairs of bi-polar adjectives from a list of 50 empirically substantiated items (Snider & Osgood, 1969, p.52). Snider & Osgood (1969) use three major dimensions to de-CHAPTER THREE 33 fine semantic space: activity, potency, and evaluative. Adjec tives pairs have a high factor loading in one of the dimensions. To cover a subject's semantic space on the three major dimen sions, four adjective pairs were chosen from each one. The adjectives were chosen by the researcher based on their suita bility to represent the individual's experiences on all three dimensions. Table 1 Dimensions of Meaning Dimension Bi-polar Adjective pairs Activity active/passive; hot/cold; dull/sharp; fast/slow. Potency heavy/light; strong/weak; delicate/rugged; small/large. Evaluative good/bad; happy/sad; fair/unfair; calm/agitated. The order of the items was randomly selected. One half of the items were randomly reversed to quard against a subject responding to the SD in a rote manner. Baseline Data Subjects were asked to think of movies which they had seen in each of seven categories; most personally meaningful, best, worst, run-of-the-mill, pleasant, most frightening, and most exciting. If the subjects had any difficulty thinking of a movie for any catagory they were offered a list of 400 movies. The list had been obtained from a local video store and was offered as a prompt of movie titles. The subjects thought of movies which they had seen and chose one which to them fit one category CHAPTER THREE 34 and then rated it using the SD rating sheet. They were allowed to rate the movies in any order they chose. Subjects had diffi culty finding movies which represented 'most' of a catagory. Thus they were allowed to choose movies which represented per-ponally meaningful, frightening, and exciting. None of the sub jects had difficulty finding a movie for each category. The scores from the sections of the life style analysis were compared to the scores of the movies for similarities and differ ences. The scores were also used to compute the linear distance between sections of the life style analysis and the movies. Scores were also compared across subjects. Assumptions Ratings and scores of the life style analysis which are close to a specific movie will be assumed to represent the quality of experience of that movie. For example, ratings and scores which are close to a personally meaningful movie, will re present a personally meaningful experience. Subjects' recollections of their experiences will match those experiences. Subjects will be aware of and able to describe their bodily sensations during the life style analysis. Collection of the life style data The Life Style Interview Guide (Appendix D) with the two previously mentioned modifications was used to collect the data. Section on Siblings and self The subjects were asked to describe their siblings in order CHAPTER THREE 35 from oldest to youngest with the age difference from the subjects noted in years with a (+) or a (-) to indicate the age older or younger than the subjects. For example, subject number one, Amy was 27 and her brothers were +18 months and +4 years. In describing the personalities of the siblings and self, short phrases or adjectives were elicited. The questions following the description of the siblings and self were asked as they were written in the interview guide with the previous noted change. The subjects were then asked to compare themselves to their siblings in regard to various characteristics. The subjects were asked which child in the family was 'most' in a particular char acteristic and which child was 'least' in each characteristic. If the subjects did not name themselves they were asked to which extreme they would put themselves closest and an arrow was added to indicate the direction, closest to most or closest to least. Example: from Hal (Subject 8) Characteristic: Most Least Intelligent John Hal Hardest worker John Hal > Bob Best grades in school Hal John Section on Parents The subjects were asked the questions concerning their parents as they appeared in the interview guide. Again they were asked for short phrases or adjectives to describe the personality of their parents. Section on Early Recollections The subjects were asked for specific one time incidents that CHAPTER THREE 36 they remembered which happened prior to the age of eight. Clarification was given in order to distinguish a recollection from a report. After the subjects had related each recollection they were asked to identify the most vivid part of the recollec tion and the feeling that accompanied this part. Developing the Interpretation Family Constellation Interpretations were developed according to the guidelines by Eckstein et al.(1977) with some modifications. The investi gator developed an interpretation by imagining what it would be like to be born into this family and live in it during the early years (from 0 to 6). The child's birth order was considered along with the characteristics of the siblings, self, parents, and any other parental figures. Early Recollections (ERs) The investigator used the headline technique (Eckstein et al.1977), drawing a theme from each recollection and childhood dream. The themes from the ERs were considered for life-others-self attitudes. Similarities and differences were noted among the themes. The ERs were considered as metaphors for life (Kopp & Dinkmeyer 1975) . The investigator attempted to find a metaphor for each subject's self within each set of metaphors. For example, for Amy the metaphor of a fire hydrant was used, describing her as a person with powerful emotions which are kept capped. For Ginny, the metaphor of a discarded toy panda bear described her as an CHAPTER THREE 37 object abandoned by everyone; parents, grandparents, and siblings. The life-others-self attitudes from the ERs, dreams and metaphors were then related to the family constellation data. A summary paragraph of disclosure statements was not shared with the subject as the investigator had not found this to be effective during previous interpretations. Presenting the Interpretation to the Subject The investigator prefaced the interpretation with a reminder of what is involved in an interpretation process. Before we start I want to just remind you of what's involved in an interpretation—what it is and what it isn't. It's not a question of my giving you an interpretation and saying- this is how you are, but what I do is I look at the data and I come up with some ideas about how I think YOU think you are. So it's not what I think of you. It's what I think you think of yourself, other people, and life. I come up with the ideas and I see if they fit with you and if they fit then you'll know that, because (pause) they fit. And if they don't it means that either I'm wrong or that maybe I haven't said it in a way that fits for you. I may be just off track a bit. OK. So I want you to know very much that I'm not trying to 'lay' an inter pretation on you. (transcribed from Donna.) Then the investigator presented her guesses in a gentle tentative way which left plenty of opportunity for subject comment and correction. She began with a description of the sub ject's family constellation. You had so many siblings, so I see you as a baby born into this crowd (pause) with parents--father who is rigid and distant. But with your father I get the sense that you at least knew about him--at least had some idea about him and who he was and his role as a male, a man, a father. And your mother was very domineering and shifting from lenient to domineering—confusing. And so you came into the world CHAPTER THREE 38 with a mother that you couldn't know about—you were confused about her role as the mother and womenhood, cuz she represented womenhood to you. So you tended to identify with your father. And I also have the idea that here was a very intelligent little girl born into this crowd, but it was such a crowd that nobody knew that you were intelligent and nobody acknowledged that about you—that you were intelligent and (pause) could accomplish things—could do things. Every body else was doing things and they tended to ignore you. And so, nobody acknowledged that about you. And another aspect with your siblings that struck me, was there were a lot of extremes mentioned when you described them. I just want to pick them out to show you what you were dealing with. Imagine a little girl born into a family with siblings that are described as— (Investigator reading from LSIG) --very intense, strong-willed, very helpful, hard worker, quite a tough guy, very family concerned, You've got siblings who are very whatever they are but they are 'very'. What does that do with a little girl who's coming in and sort of like a blank slate to start with and she's got to make her way in this crowd of 'verys'. Do you see what you had to deal with? Following the description of the family constellation the investigator shared themes from the recollections with the subject and discussed them. What I noticed about your early recollections was that there were none about your family; none about your parents or siblings. So what that tells me is that you didn't get what you needed in your family; any acknowledgement. I have the impression that your ~~ feelings weren't acknowledged either so you got to school and I wonder if maybe you thought well here's an area where I'll get some acknowledgement. Like the recollection of you drawing the picture. What I've done with those is come up with a theme. I see the recollection as a metaphor and it's not the facts that are so important but the picture that it presents. So the theme would be—here's a girl proud of her accomplishment but doesn't receive any recognition for it. And I wondered if you got to school and finally thought here's a place where I'm going to get some acknowledgement of my accomplishments and it DIDN'T happen for you,(pause) and that's why it was such a big disappointment. Is that fitting? (Donna, "Probably, yeah.) And as a result of not getting it at school, you got through your early childhood without that and then you got to school and didn't get that acknowledgement of CHAPTER THREE 39 either your feelings or your accomplishments, your ability, you began to really doubt it yourself. (Donna, "Um hum") and tended not to believe in your own accomplishments anymore even though you were intelligent. Donna, "Yes, cuz I remember..." Donna continues talking about how and when she gave up at school. It seemed to you that you weren't getting any recognition. And I would guess that after a while if you did get any recognition that you would discount it (Donna, "Um hum") somehow, someway. (Donna, "Yeah.") Does that fit in now with your life? Donna, "Yeah." (Laughter) The Investigator and Donna continue to discuss. Procedure and Data Collection The life style analysis was conducted in two 2 hour sessions and was divided into four sections for research purposes. Section 1: Questions concerning siblings, friends, self. Section 2: Questions concerning parents, their relationship to each other, and their relationship to their children. Section 3 - Early recollections and childhood dreams. Section 4 - The interpretation process. The first session consisted of sections 1 to 3 while the second session consisted of section 4. The sessions took place at the mental health clinic in regular counselling rooms and were audio-taped. Only the inves tigator and the subject were present during the data collection and interpretation. For the two subjects who experienced strong emotions during the sessions, their therapists were asked to come CHAPTER THREE 40 in during the latter part of the session and they remained for. approximately one half hour. Session 1: The interview began by the investigator reading and explaining the consent form (Appendix A). Then the baseline data was collected. Following this the subjects were asked the questions in the Life Style Interview Guide in its entirety. The investigator made a concerted effort to record the subjects' responses verbatim. After the taking of the life style data the investigator cued the subjects' memories back to each section using their own words. Questions were then asked regarding their experiences. For example, the cueing for Fiona concerning the section on siblings was as follows: I'm going to remind you of different sections and what we talked about, and then I'll ask you some questions. The first part we talked about was when you gave the informaton about you and your sister. You talked about your sister Mary who is two years older than you. You described her as being more competent than yourself, outgoing, a person who feels she has to be liked, very emotional, was a perfec tionist—is a perfectionsist. You described her as the stronger of you two and that was more of a stress on her to have to play that role, and the more dominating one of the two. Then you described your self; that you tried to be a perfectionist, at times you were insecure, emotional, you have a deep desire for life, love to feel that you're worth something, a bit hard on yourself, and try to look for the humor in life. You like to feel you're not a burden to anyone, feel guilty by taking from anyone. At times you have a lot of anger, self-destructive nature at times, afraid of be controlled, and you're religious to a beneficial point but not to the point where it becomes control. You described your sister as different from you--as more outgoing, twenty pounds heavier and more confident than yourself. She's like you in that you're in touch with people, self-destructive, perfectionistic, look for the deeper side of life in people, appearance oriented, and try to prove yourself. Then I asked you about some characteristics. Had you compare the two of you in certain characteristics. (Transcribed from Fiona) CHAPTER THREE 41 This completed the cueing for section 1. The research questions were then asked. The following questions were asked in a gentle, caring manner. 1. As you were talking about your (siblings and yourself) how engrossed or detached were you ? 2. What feelings did you experience? 3. Did you have any physical sensations? If so where in your body did you experience them? 4. Did you have any thoughts or insights? Following these questions the subjects were asked to rate the particular section using the SD rating sheet. This procedure was repeated for Sections 2 and 3. For Section 2 subjects were asked to rate their mother and father separately as well as both parents together, as relationships with each parent can be totally different. This concluded the first session and an appointment was made for the second session. Between Sessions During the week the investigator worked on the data to develop an interpretation. One exception to this procedure was with Fiona who experienced a dramatic response during the taking of the ERs in session one. The investigator began the interpre tation process during this session to help her deal with the material which was causing her distress. Session 2 The session began with the following questions: CHAPTER THREE 42 1. It's been one week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session? 2. Today we are going to work together to come up with an interpretation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that? After asking these questions the investigator worked with the subject toward an interpretation. The investigator shared her process in developing the interpretation with the subject. First, the family constellation was discussed. The investi gator imagined what it must have been like for the subject to grow up in this family and shared her impressions with the subject. Then the theme from each ER and recurring dream was shared and discussed with the subject. Using very tentative language, the investigator shared her guesses about life-others-self attitudes the subject might have developed. The attitudes were discussed first in the past as ways of making sense out of their childhood environment and coping with it, and then as ways of perceiving and coping with their current life situations. Similarities and differences among all the material were shared with the subject. Metaphors that arose out of the ERs, dreams, and/or interpretation process were discussed. When the interpretation was concluded the subjects were asked the questions about their experiences while going through that process and then given the SD rating sheet to complete. Cueing was not necessary at this point because the subject had just completed the interpretation process. After the fourth CHAPTER THREE 43 subject the interpretation process flowed more easily. This concluded the second and final session. The subjects continued in therapy with their regular therapists. Six months later the subjects' therapists were asked to give reports on what the life style analysis meant to their clients from the therapists' perspective. Data Analysis The data obtained from the semantic differential was ana lyzed in two ways. First, the ratings on the three dimensions (activity, potency, and evaluative) of each section of the life style analysis were compared to each movie. Second, using the ratings on the three dimensions, the linear distance between the sections of the life style analysis and the movies was determined and analyzed. The semantic differential is considered to have face validity. The semantic differential rating sheets were scored by assigning a score of 7 to the first named adjective of the adjective pairs, and giving scores down to 1 for the last named adjective. It should be noted that one half of the adjective pairs were reversed. eg. happy 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 sad cold 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 hot Scores range from 1 to 7 for each bi-polar item. A score of 1 is a low score and indicates one extreme, for example very cold. A score of 4 indicates a neutral rating, for example neither hot nor cold. A score of 7 is a high rating, for example very hot. CHAPTER THREE 44 The ratings for the bi-polar items were added together and then averaged to give a score for each of the three major dimensions. These scores form Table A for each subject. The possible range of scores is 1 through 7. (See Appendix E for sample scoring.) Scores ranging from 6 to 7 indicated that the subject felt very; hot, active, sharp, and fast in activity; heavy, strong, rugged, and large in potency; fair, happy, good, and calm in evaluative. Lower scores 1 to 2 indicated a strong reaction on the opposite pole, very; cold, passive, dull, and slow in activity; light, weak, delicate, and small in potency; unfair, unhappy, bad, and agitated in evaluative. Scores ranging from 2.25 to 5.75 indicate mild or neutral reactions: 2.25 - 3.5 mild (adjectives toward the negative pole) 3.75 - 4.25 neutral (example: neither hot nor cold) 4.5 - 5.75 mild (adjectives toward the positive pole) Ratings for each section of the life style analysis were compared to each movie rating. The criteria for comparison were determined arbitrarily. Table 2 Criteria for Comparison of Life Style Sections and Movie Ratings Difference of 0 : identical rating in the factor. concepts considered very close in meaning. Difference of.25 -.5 : ratings of concepts were consi dered close in meaning. CHAPTER THREE 45 Difference of .75 - 1.0 : ratings of concepts were consi dered somewhat close in meaning. Difference of more than 1.0 : ratings of concepts not considered close in meaning. Linear Distance Analysis To determine concepts which are close in meaning the D Statistic (Kerlinger, 1964, p.573) was employed. See Appendix F for sample analysis. I . D = id 2 ij ' ij D = the linear distance between any two concepts, i and j. d = the algebraic difference between any two coordinates of i and j on the same factor (activity, potency, and evaluative) The linear distance between each section of the life style analysis and each movie was computed according to the above formula. The score was rounded off to the nearest tenth. These scores form Table B for each subject. The smaller the distance between any two concepts the closer in meaning they are. Con versely,the greater the distance between two concepts the furthe apart in meaning they are. The possible range of scores is 0 to 20.8. For example, for Carl, the D score of his personally mean ingful movie and the interpretation section is 2.0 units, which indicates that these experiences are very similar in meaning for him. The D score for his worst movie and the interpretation is 16.6 units, which indicates that the interpretation was not at all alike in meaning to watching his worst movie. The following criteria were determined arbitrarily to des cribe the data: CHAPTER THREE 46 Table 3 Linear Distance Measures Average Difference Square root of total 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 20.8 Very unlike 17.3 13.9 10.4 6.9 Moderately similar 3.5 Similar 0 Very Similar Definition of Terms ^ Activity: One major dimension of a semantic differential which accesses the activity an individual feels when rating a concept. Birth order: The chronological order of sibling births in a family. Cued memory technique: Cuing or prompting the subject's memory back to a specific time in order to collect information from the subject about that time. Early recollection (ER): A specific one-time incident remembered from childhood, preferably prior to the age of eight, which is remembered clearly and in detail, with visual recall, and including thoughts and feelings at the time of the incident (Gushurst, One major dimension of a semantic differential which accesses the evaluation an individual makes about a concept. 1971, p.99). Evaluative: CHAPTER THREE 47 Insight : Self-knowledge which is new. Life style : The concept developed by Alfred Adler which accesses the way in which an individual operates in life, based on his attitudes toward life, other people, and himself or herself. Life style analysis: The collection and interpretation of life style data. Life style data: The data collected from an individual concerning his or her family constellation, early recollections and childhood dreams. Potency: One major dimension of a semantic differential which accesses the potency or strength an individual feels when rating a concept. Semantic Differential: A measuring tool which accesses subjective meaning of concepts and enables comparison of meaning to be made. Subjective experiences: The thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations of the individual. CHAPTER FOUR 48 CHAPTER FOUR RESULTS Preface The eight case studies are presented. Fictitious names are given to each subject and his or her siblings and spouse to provide for anonymity. The names are ordered alphabetically; the name of the subject in case study number one begins with A. The following is an outline of the sequence of presentation for each subject: 1. Demographic data. 2. Presentation of self as perceived by the Investigator. 3. Family constellation. 4. The life style summary statements formulated by the therapist from the life style data. 5. Reactions and responses of the subject to each of the four sections of the life style analysis. a) Investigator's description of the subject's responses. b) Summary of the subject's verbal description of his or her reactions and responses to each section. Many verbatim quotations are included. 6. The reactions and thoughts of the subject between sessions. The results of this section are presented between the results of sessions 1 and 2. 7. Summary of the experiences of life style analysis as a whole. 8. The follow-up report from the subject's therapist. CHAPTER FOUR 49 CASE STUDY ONE: Amy See Appendix G for audio-transcript Age: 27 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this clinic: 33 Presenting problem: Depression with suicidal ideation. Referral source: Self Description of Amy Amy is an attractive woman of medium height and build. She wore her hair in a short flattering hairstyle. Her style of make-up gave her a hard appearance. She appeared reserved and controlled, and spoke in a soft voice. Amy maintained normal eye contact thoughout both sessions. She showed concern for the investigator by commenting on the research situation from the investigator's perspective. During the first session Amy answered the questions in a friendly cooperative manner, without any visible show of emotion. In the interpretation session she appeared ca"lm and unemotional during the first part and chewed her lip during the last part. Throughout she cleared her throat numerous times and laughed when reporting, what would normally be, painful or embarrassing events. She appeared very interested and involved at all times. Family Constellation Amy grew up with her natural mother and father. She is the youngest of three children and the only girl. Brother: + 4 Brother: + 18 months Amy: 27 CHAPTER FOUR 50 Table 4 A Activity, for Potency, and Evaluative Ratings Subject Number One: Amy DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 5.75 4.5 5.0 5.0 1.5 4.0 Worst Pleasant 1.25 4.25 6.0 4.25 1.0 1.75 Run-of-the-mill 3.25 3.5 2.0 Frightening Exciting 4.25 5.0 5.25 4.0 1.0 1.0 Life Style Sections Siblings 3.25 2.0 3.0 Both Parents Mother Father 2.5 1.75 6.0 3.25 4.0 2.5 2.5 3.25 1.75 Early Recollections 4.25 2.5 1.0 Interpretation 6.25 Table 4 B 4.5 4.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject : Number One: Amy LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH MOTHER PARENTS FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 9.7 9.6 10.8 8.9 11.0 9.5 8.1 9.6 8. 11. 7 8.6 1 6.6 Worst 11.4 8.8 7.8 13.7 12. 0 13.5 Pleasant 7.4 7.9 7.9 6.8 7. 2 8.8 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 6.0 11.8 6.3 9.5 6.2 10.4 7.3 10.4 6. 11. 8 9.6 9 11.1 Exciting 10.8 9.9 11.3 8.4 10. 3 11.0 CHAPTER FOUR 51 Life Style Summary I am attractive, artistic, and conforming. I am a real baby who is scared of life. I am full of powerful emotions which I keep capped like a fire hydrant caps water. Whenever I "let go" the outcome has serious consequences. I'm constantly being "thrown to the wolves" without anyone to protect me. I am a survivor but I am lonely. Others are mean, cruel, and self-centered. They reject me and are never there when I need them. Men either hassle me or like Santa Clause make me promises but only deliver occasionally. The world is a dangerous place in which I have no choices. Therefore I must never 'let go' and act on my feelings. In order to do this I must suppress them. I must be on guard at all times so that I never lose control or expose myself. I must protect myself because no one else will. Section on Siblings Amy reported feeling a lot of anger when talking about her siblings. She stated that she experienced so.me confusion because she did not know how to respond to the questions. She indicated that she felt comfortable telling me about them, which she said was unusual for her. She reported being engrossed while she talked about herself and her brothers stating, I actually went back in that age... just thinking about it I got really small. CHAPTER FOUR 52 Section on Parents Amy reported a confusion of feelings when talking about her parents. She was more engrossed while talking about her mother than her father. There was a sadness when she talked about her father and an anger of a recent origin toward her mother. She was surprised that she thought of her father as fat because she had never thought of him as fat before. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Amy stated that she was very engrossed in this section, more so than either of the previous sections. Again she felt anger, this time at both parents but she did not indicate why. She also was aware of how frightened she was during that time (0-8 years) in her life. During one frightening ER she was aware of her heart beating quickly, and during an embarrassing ER, of her skin tightening up. She reported an insight which occurred to her during this section. I learned it would have been so easy not to have listened. It was my own self that made me do these things - to take it. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Amy thought about changes she would have made in her answers but she did not specify what they would be. She also said that she was more aware of her own behavior, but did not elaborate further. Amy felt excited about coming to the second session because she was looking forward to getting some information that would help her. She referred to the life style analysis as a test. CHAPTER FOUR 53 Working toward the Interpretation Amy was very engrossed in.the interpretation process. ...cause usually I'm very conscious of what I'm saying and retracting before I'm going to say it, and this time it was almost like I was free to think and say anything so I had to be very engrossed... ...lost in my thoughts to the point that I was saying things that I wouldn't normally say, sort of, if you get drunk or something. Amy felt embarressed because she said things that she would not normally say. To her, this meant she was being exposed. Her skin got tight when she felt this way in the same way it did in one of her ERs. She also reported her heart beating quickly during the second half because she felt exposed. ...and you would hit on something that really was true. I felt like (pause) wanting to hide, feeling like, oh no! It's exposed. And, that scared feeling. Amy related an insight regarding how she tends to recreate the same boundries currently. This arose out of her comparing her husband to her father during the interpretation phase. Amy enjoyed working toward the interpretation, feeling she gained information about herself which no other counsellor had given her before. Summary of Results Amy was very engrossed in all parts of the life style analysis. During the collection of the life style data she was more engrossed during the relating of the ERs than the previous sections. While working toward the interpretation she was engrossed to the extent that she thought and responded freely, CHAPTER FOUR 54 a very unusual experience for her. She experienced a range of feelings going through this process such as anger, confusion, sadness, surprise, being frightened, embarrassment, and feeling exposed. The physical sensations she experienced were related to the feelings. She was aware of her heart beating quickly when she felt frightened, and of her skin tightening up when she felt embarrassed and exposed. She reported insights about her family dynamics while talking about her father, relating the ERs, and working toward the interpretation. On the activity dimension the ratings of the sections on father (6.0) and interpretation (6.25) are high, higher than any of her movies. They are very close to her personally meaningful movie (5.75). Ratings on this dimension of the remainder of the sections ranged from neutral to low (1.75-4.25). On the potency dimension ratings of the life style sections ranged from neutral to low (4.0-2.0) with the exception of the interpretation (4.5). The potency of this section approached the potency of Amy's most potent movies. This supports Amy's state ments that she became so engrossed in the process that she freely expressed her self, very unusual behavior for her. In the evaluative dimension life style ratings tend to be moderately low to low (1.0-3.25) with the exception of the interpretation which is slightly above neutral (4.75). This indicates that Amy felt moderately to very negative (1.0-3.25) toward the data collection sections and moderately positive toward the interpretation. The evaluative rating of all of her CHAPTER FOUR 55 movies are negative with the exception of her best which is neutral (4.0). This indicates that she has difficulty formu lating a positive view, supporting her very negative view of people and of life stated by her life style. Her moderately high score for interpretation (4.75) is a high rating for Amy, indicating this was an unusual experience for her. This supports Amy's life style which describes her as keeping her powerful emotions capped. Usually- if she ever 'lets go' of her feelings the consequences are disastrous. During the interpretation she did 'let go', speaking freely of her thoughts and feelings, and the consequences were positive—a very different experience for her . The data collection sections, with the exception of father, measure closest to the experience of watching a run-of-the-mill movie (6.2-6.8). This is contradicted by her report of her physical reactions, heart beating quickly and skin tightening up, which occurred during the relating of the ERs. However, this supports her life style, as she keeps herself in a neutral state by keeping her feelings under control. The interpretation section measures closest to her personally meaningful movie (6.6) which also supports her positive statements about the experience of the interpretation. Overall, life style sections, with the exception of interpretation, tend to be like the experience of watching a run-of-the-mill movie. The interpretation is a different experience for Amy than any of the movies. It is similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful movie, only positive instead of negative. CHAPTER FOUR 56 Therapist's Report (As written by Amy's therapist) Amy avoided discussion of life style analysis, suggesting that it had an impact on her. Focus in therapy changed from her depression to her anxiety in regard to making decisions. Amy moved out of her parent's home two months after the analysis. CHAPTER FOUR 57 Case Study Two: Betty See Appendix H for audio-transcript Age: 35 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this clinic: 6 Presenting problem: Unhappy with everything. Irritable, crying, nervous, tired all the time, yelling at children, eating to calm herself down. Referral source: Self Description of Betty Betty is a short, slightly plump, attractive woman with shoulder length blond hair. She was open and cooperative but seemed apprehensive about the life style analysis. During both sessions she spoke quietly, maintaining normal eye contact throughout. During the first session her eyes were moist when discussing her parents during the life style analysis. While answering the research questions on this section, she cried. Family Constellation Betty grew up with her natural parents. She is the eldest of four children. Betty: 35 Sister: - 5 (deceased, died when Betty was 9) Sister -10 Brother - 12 Life Style Summary I am independent, forceful, caring, and sensitive. I am a hard worker with very high standards of accomplishment. I like to be boss and have my own way. I am conforming and try very hard to CHAPTER FOUR 58 please others. I am like a doll with a broken china head. I want to belong but I end up alone. Others do not care about what goes on inside my head. They do not care about how I feel or what I think. They seldom give me the support I need. They stifle me. Life is serious business and life's circumstances are confining. Therefore I am in a bind. I try and try to do my best but I end up going around in circles. I can never be good enough. When I don't try I lose control. I can only accomplish things when I have the support of others. When I try to get their support I lose control and end up alone. I've learned to bite my tongue. Section on Siblings Betty reported being very engrossed while talking about her brother, sisters, and herself. She felt sad because she feels 'on the outside' from her siblings and this made her feel like crying. She thought they would never get to know each other. Section on Parents Table 2 a Betty reported being very engrossed in this section. She experienced feelings of anger, sadness, frustation, and being rejected or set aside. Physically she felt warm all over. She had thoughts that her parents were doing the best that they could. Section on Early Recollections Betty was totally engrossed while relating the early recol lections, and reported experiencing the same feelings that she CHAPTER FOUR 59 Table 5 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Two: Betty DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 5.75 5.75 5.25 3.5 2.75 7.0 Worst Pleasant 1.0 5.75 4.0 3.25 3.5 6.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.5 6.0 Frightening Exciting 6.75 6.75 2.5 4.5 1.0 4.5 Life Style Sections Siblings 4.5 2.75 3.5 Both Parents Mother Father 4.0 3.75 4.75 2.75 2.75 3.75 3.0 2.75 4.0 Early Recollections 4.75 3.0 3.25 Interpretation 4.25 Table 5 B 3.25 4.0 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Two: Betty LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 7.8 12.0 9.3 13.7 9.5 12.1 6.7 9.4 8.3 12.5 7.7 10.6 Worst 9.8 10.4 9.4 9.7 10.4 8.8 Pleasant 10.8 12.8 10.6 8.8 11.5 9.4 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 10.9 8.9 12.0 10.7 10.0 8.4 9.2 11.0 11.5 9.5 9.6 9.2 Exciting 8.7 11.0 10.3 7.3 9.4 8.9 CHAPTER FOUR 60 had felt during the original incident. I felt like I was there. Sort of felt, you know, fidgety and you know (long pause) sort of made me feel like how I felt then, you know, either sad or upset or afraid. She felt calm at the beginning of this section but then she began to get warmer and warmer all over. At first just when you--talking about running away, my roller skates and everything I felt fine, calm, but then as I got. onto the dreams and everything I could feel myself getting more agitated and I could feel myself getting warmer and more sort of uptight. It occurred to her that she cannot forget the past; that it still seems really important to her and still upsets her. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Betty enjoyed the session, stating that she did not find the session as bad as she had expected, but she felt emotionally drained afterwards. I think I felt sort of emotional from it a bit. I went home and my head was kind of heavy for the rest of the day. I felt like I'd really been (pause) uh you know sort of how you feel after a big exam (laugh) you sort of feel sort of drained, cuz I know I felt quite tired for the rest of the day so I guess it was probably a bit of a (pause) maybe a strain. I didn't—I didn't feel that way when I was answering the questions, I felt they—they sort of came easily to me. Betty reported that she felt curious as to how the investi gator was going to interpret the information. She hoped that the interpretation was going to help her sort some things out. CHAPTER FOUR 61 Working toward the Interpretation Betty described herself as being "right in there" during this experience. She reported feeling understood. She talked of having knowledge on one level but not wanting to acknowledge it. ....I think maybe you sometimes—you know it's there but you can't—you don't want to admit it or you don't (pause) really want (pause) to see it. It was difficult for Betty to access her feelings as she went through this section but she recognized them when they were presented to her during the interpretation process. Sort of felt maybe understood a bit more, maybe (pause) I can't—I can't—I'm not very good—. I felt like saying hey! yeah that's exactly how I feel, like you know, especially when you first said that one word, you said 'bind' I sort of felt with a few things that you said that, you know, that—that—that's how I FEEL. Betty began to cry again as she discussed how hurt her parents would be if they knew how she really felt about their treatment of her. Betty reported feeling relieved physically after going through this process. When asked about insights that she had mentioned previously she responded,"I don't think I can remember what I said". Summary Betty was engrossed in all sections of the life style analysis, but was more engrossed during the relating of the ERs and working toward the interpretation. CHAPTER FOUR 62 She experienced feelings such as sadness, 'on the outside', anger, frustration, rejection, uptight, and understood. She re-experienced the feelings she had originally in the ERs. As she began relating the ERs she felt calm, but as she continued she felt more and more agitated and uptight. Physically she got warmer and warmer all over. After the interpretation she felt physically relieved. The thoughts Betty had related to current dynamics between her family and herself. Although she reported insights while working through the interpretation she was unable to remember them at the completion. All life style sections tend to be rated moderately low to neutral (2.75 - 3.75) on the potency dimension, and are similar to the potency of her best (3.5), and pleasant (3.25) movies. On the evaluative dimension the life style sections also tend to be rated from moderately low to neutral (2.75 - A.O), indicating that the experiences of all the sections were moderately negative to neutral ones for her. This is supported by the sadness she felt as she talked about 'feeling on the outside' from her sib lings and the lack of caring she experienced from her parents. Overall, for this subject, the life style analysis is some what similar to the experience of watching a personally meaning ful movie. Betty enjoyed the data collection session although i she found it painful and she was emotionally drained afterwards. This is supported by the evaluation and potency ratings of her personally meaningful movie. After the interpretaton section she described herself as physically relieved and feeling understood. CHAPTER FOUR . 63 The linear distance scores also support this experience as a personally meaningful one, measuring overall moderately close (6.7- 9.5). to her personally meaningful movie. Therapist's Report (As written by the Therapist) Betty expressed curiosity and excitement about the review her life and of her role in her primary family. She said that she felt happier since the life style anaylsis. Betty became more in control of her own needs and wants after this analysis, as she gained clarity of personality trait that she had not integrated before. CHAPTER FOUR 64 Case Study Number Three: Carl See Appendix I for audio-transcript Age: 49 Sex: Male Marital Status: Married Number of months in therapy at this clinic: 6 Presenting problem: Marital distress Referral source: Wife Description of Carl Carl is man of medium height and build, and slightly balding. He was very friendly and personable, maintaining normal eye contact. He participated in both sessions with interest and appeared very involved throughout. He interacted in a normal manner, calm and very open to sharing information about himself. He appeared to thoroughly enjoy the sessions. During the answering of the research questions he became emotional, tears came to his eyes, when he spoke of his mother and the difficult life he felt that she had had. During the data collection concerning his siblings and parents he spontaneously recalled and shared recollections. Carl had an abundance of recollections. While answering the research questions he continually expanded on the thoughts and feelings he had about himself, his family, and his life. Family constellation Carl's father died when he was two and his mother began to live with a man fairly soon thereafter. He is the youngest of six siblings. CHAPTER FOUR 65 Table 6 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Three: Carl DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 6.25 5.5 5.0 6.0 4.5 5.0 Worst Pleasant 1.0 5.5 1.75 4.25 2.5 6.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.5 2.75 Frightening Exciting 4.0 6.0 6.0 6.5 1.25 3.5 Life Style Sections Siblings 6.25 5.0 6.0 Both Parents Mother Father 6.0 6.25 6.0 4.5 4.0 4.5 5.5 6.75 6.0 Early Recollections 6.25 5.25 5.25 Interpretation 6.5 Table 6 B 4.75 4.5 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Three: Carl LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 4.9 5.7 5.7 7.1 6.6 8.3 5.6 6.8 5.5 7.8 2.0 5.6 Worst 16.1 15.2 17.1 15.7 16.6 16.6 Pleasant 3.7 4.8 5.4 4.4 5.8 5.8 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 10.5 12.6 9.6 11.8 12.3 14.5 10.5 12.5 10.8 11.5 10.0 11.4 Exciting 8.2 8.9 9.9 8.8 9.1 6.2 CHAPTER FOUR 66 Sister: + 14 Brother: + 10 Twin (died at 9 months) Brother: + 10 Twin Brother: + 8 Sister: + 5 Carl: 48 Life Style Summary I am intelligent, reasonable, and calm. I am rebellious and I like to have my own way. I am very ambitious. I try to be a hard worker but basically I'm easy-going and enjoy the pleasures of life. I hate to kick up a fuss because someone (maybe me) may get hurt or something will get damaged. I could be successful if only those in power would let me play. I am helpless to do any thing about it. Others exclude me. They are in power and have all the fun. Life has good times and bad times. It's a conflict between fun and duty. Life is like being excluded by others from the game 'Button, button, who's got the button?' when I know who has the button everytime. Therefore I try to accept the bad times in life and enjoy the good ones. I do my duty so I wont get punished and others wont kick up a fuss. I avoid kicking up a fuss by bending a lot and distracting others. I am bored watching others have fun and be successful. Section on Siblings Carl reported feeling very close to his family while talking about his brothers, sisters, and himself. He "felt good thinking about" his family and experienced feelings of missing them. He remembers good times with them. He felt envy toward CHAPTER FOUR 67 his wife because she had family within easy access whereas he did not. He sometimes experienced a feeling of melancholy during this section. He reported that he did not have time to be introspec tive or insightful because his mind was so busy searching for the information about each individual "like a computer sort of tape". Section on Parents Carl reported trying to keep himself from becoming emotionally involved during this section. He reported having a feeling of missing out because he did not have a father. He did not consider his step-father as a father to him. He experienced feelings of being sorry for his mother; this discussion brought tears to his eyes. The thoughts that he had related further to his mother, and how he tried to make up to her for the unhappy life that she had had. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Carl was very engrossed while relating the ERs. Well I sort of--reliving them (laughing) as I was going to each detail.Yes - yeah I can still picture all those things. He experienced mixed emotions of helplessness, joy, and warmth. He also experienced the feeling of having to learn to take life's good and bad times and adjust to them. He vividly remembered the sensations he had during the relating of the recollections and dreams but states that he did not experience them in his body as he related them. going into the TV screen of my mind to recall these things (pause) and uh to relive them again—the same sensations I CHAPTER FOUR 68 gave you before, trying to run up the hill and your feet feel like they are a ton a piece and you can hardly move. ...I could not actually feel it here but I could feel it in my dream or recall it. I could picture the sun and the warmth that it had on my back. The thoughts that he had related to his perception of life. He saw similarities between his behavior in one of the recollec tions and in his son's behavior. He reported not learning anything new, although he had noticed a similarity between events within a recollection with which he had not connected previously. When the investigator asked about the connection he had made in this recollection, he talked about how he felt his spirit had been broken and because of that he has not been able to realize his ambitions. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Carl continued to think about his life after the session. He discussed it briefly with his wife and continued to recall more recollections. He considered the recollections "facts". I thought back of other things that came to my mind, you know, like snowball reaction you-you-you start with one and you get another memory, another memory, another memory you know, I could have given you a thousand of them I guess. The previous session made him feel discouraged. Since the last session, sort of reflected on my life and—a wasted life in some ways. He was apprehensive about how the interpretation would turn out. He expressed having "misgivings" because he might get a CHAPTER FOUR 69 "far-fetched" interpretaton. He then went on to say that he had confidence in me because we had worked together before and he thought I knew his thoughts and feelings well. ....I sometimes think that some of these inter pretations—depending who does it—get another point of view that you never look at and they're sometimes a little far-fetched too. But if it's your interpretation I think you—I have a lot of confidence in you personally.... because whenever we used to have talks with (my wife) and I—you included, you seemed to know my thoughts and feelings (pause) just as well as I could, but you could express them better than I could too. (pause) so the correlation was very good there. Working toward the Interpretation Carl reported being very engrossed in the interpretation process, " I was involved in it, top of the list there". He experienced feelings of anger at himself and at life. The feeling of anger arose out of deeper feelings of hurt and sad ness. He spoke of wanting to improve on his situation but did not know where to start. He described having physical sensations of nausea. My stomach's a little upset, butterflies, very seldom I have it. He felt really sad that he had not achieved what he had wanted to achieve in life. He felt discouraged about his life because he saw it as wasted in some repects. Summary Carl was engrossed during all sections of the life style analysis, but was most engrossed while relating the ERs and working toward the interpretation. He experienced feelings of family closeness, envy,melancholy, CHAPTER FOUR 70 of missing out,pity for his mother, helplessness, joy,and warmth. •a He experienced anger in various ways, at himself and at life and anger which arose out of deeper feelings of hurt and sadness. He relived the early recollections, vividly recalling the feelings of the ERs but not re-experiencing them during the session. Carl had tears in his eyes as he talked about his mother, and sensations of nausea ('butterflies') while working toward the interpretation. The thoughts he had related to current family dynamics both with his family of origin and one of his sons. He also had thoughts which related to his current feeling that he had not realized his ambitions. He did not remember experiencing any insights although he had one while discussing an ER during the interpretation process. On the activity dimension, the life style ratings tend to be very high (6.0-6.5), identical to very similar to Carl's personally meaningful and exciting movies. This indicates that he felt very active while participating in all of the life style sections. The enthusiasm and talkativeness he exhibited while undergoing the life style analysis and his report that his mind was so busy searching for information are supported by the high activity ratings. On the potency dimension, the ratings of the life style sections range from neutral to moderately strong (4.0-5.25) and compare to the potency ratings of his personally meaningful (5.0) and pleasant (4.25) movies. CHAPTER FOUR 71 On the evaluative dimension the life style ratings tend to be high, ranging from moderately high for the interpretation (4.5) to very high for the section on mother (6.75). The ratings indicate that Carl felt very positive toward the data collections sections and moderately positive toward the interpretation sec tion. These ratings support Carl's warm feelings toward his family and his childhood, which he reported during the- data collections sections, as well as the observation of his enjoyment of the session. The very positive attitude toward his mother (6.75) supports the caring he expressed for her. The less positive ratings toward the interpretation also support the physical sensation of an upset stomach and Carl's discouragement about his life. The linear distance scores further support Carl's positive attitude toward the data collection sections and his moderately positive attitude toward the interpretation sec tion. The life style sections tend to be similar to his pleasant (3.7-5.8) amd his personally meaningful (4.9-5.7) movies with the exception of the interpretation section, which is very similar to his personally meaningful movie (2.0). Overall, for Carl, the life style sections tend to be similar to the experience of watching a pleasant or personally meaningful movie. In particular, the interpretation section is very similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful movie. Therapist's Report (As written by Carl's therapist) Carl expressed a great deal of interest in this analysis. He became aware of how his childhood experiences had influenced his CHAPTER FOUR 72 approach to people and his self concept. He gained a more com plete perspective of his life as well as better understanding of his present problems. CHAPTER FOUR 73 Case Study Number Four: Donna See Appendix J for audio-transcript Age: 27 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this clinic: 31 Presenting problem: Initially a parenting concern then personal issues such as incest and life planning. Referral source: Self Description of Donna Donna is a tall attractive woman with dark full shoulder length hair. She was conservative in manner and dress. She appeared anxious while participating in the collection of the life style data. She was agitated while talking and she continued to twist and bend a coffee stir stick throughout the session. She was reserved, quiet, and appeared very involved while she responded to the questions. It was very difficult for Donna to be aware of her feelings. She either did not have access to her them or she mentioned them when she described her thoughts. During the second session as we worked through the interpretation she became very lively. She smiled, laughed, and nodded her head as she agreed with sugges tions for interpretation. To me, she seemed to be reeling from the amount of information she was receiving. I did not share the theme from one recollection with her because I felt that she had had enough information for one time, and also because the CHAPTER FOUR 74 Table 7 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Four: Donna DIMENSIONS Activity Potency Evaluative Movies Personally Meaningful 5.0 4.0 6.0 Best 4.25 4.5 6.Worst 2.25 5.25 2.25 Pleasant 3.5 3.75 6.7Run-of-the-mill 4.25 5.5 2.5 Frightening 5.75 3.0 2.5 Exciting 6.0 5.25 5.Life Style Sections Siblings 3.75 4.5 3.0 Both Parents 4.5 3.75 4.25 Mother 4.25 4.25 3.Father 4.5 4.0 4.75 Early Recollections 3.75 4.0 4.75 Interpretation 5.25 4.5 6.0 Table 7 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Four: Donna LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 7.7 9.2 4.2 5.7 6.8 7.7 3.9 4.5 4.2 4.6 4.1 3.2 Worst 4.9 8.2 6.1 8.7 7.7 11.6 Pleasant 10.7 6.5 9.4 5.7 5.3 6.1 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 3.7 6.8 6.1 7.0 4.6 6.7 7.2 8.0 6.7 8.3 9.1 10.6 Exciting 8.8 5.7 7.3 5.1 5.7 4.0 CHAPTER FOUR . 75 recollection was related to the issue of incest. This information was given to her therapist. Family Constellation Donna grew up with her natural mother and father on a farm. She is the eleventh of fifteen children. Brother: + 19 Sister: + 16 Sister: + 15 Sister: + 13 Sister: + 12 Sister : + 11 Sister: + 8 Brother: + 7 Brother: + 6 Sister: + 3 Sister: + 1 Donna: 32 Sister: - 2 Brother: - 4 Brother: 5 Life Style Summary I am intelligent, independent, athletic, and idealistic. I like to have my own way and I will rebell if I don't get it. I am very stubborn, like a steamroller. I will go after what I want and bend the rules in order to get it. I'd like to make a masterpiece of my life but I'm afraid of failure. I have very high standards for myself. I'm a loner although I'd like to have a few close friends. I am unable to trust my feelings. Others are very intense and mostly cold. They punish and humiliate me if I flaunt what I get. They don't tell you what they think and feel. Men play painful games with me. Life is confusing. CHAPTER FOUR 76 Therefore to cope I pretend it's a game. In order to do this I must lose touch with my feelings (anger? fear? pain?). Because I can't trust my feelings I must use my head to figure everything out. I don't trust my own abilities. I can get what I want and I am willing to. bend the rules in order to get it; but I must NEVER flaunt what I get. Section on Siblings Donna reported that she was quite detached while talking about her sibings and herself. When asked about the feelings that she experienced she said that she had none, only thoughts about how little she really knew her siblings. When discussing the physical sensations she had, she talked about feelings of being sorry for one sister, and mixed up about one sister. Toward one brother she experienced a physical sensation of warmth in the left half of her chest. The mixed up feeling she felt toward her sister "seems to hit my shoulder". The thoughts she had were related to the self-sacrificing attitude that her parents instilled in all the children. When I said, you know, like—um Mom and Dad's philo—you know, family's philosophy— like--Do unto others as you would have them do unto you and MORE. Uh—I think (pause) it sort of uh--left a lot of us high and dry cuz (pause) I don't know,that sort of gives me a funny feeling (pause) even putting it into words. Like (pause) not that I mind doing (pause) things for other people but I-I really think that (pause) came across (pause) really strongly and I think it was sort of (pause) indicating a self-sacrificing attitude or behavior which I hadn't (pause) really thought about before (pause) and then going through that (pause) I realized that that's exactly what came across (pause) and a lot of us are (pause) self-sacrificing CHAPTER FOUR 77 (pause)like even—even (pause) I wouldn't say we'd—we'd damage ourselves (pause) physically but—mentally or intellectually um— probably did. Section on Parents Donna reported being engrossed when talking about her parents. When asked about her feelings during this section she intially said regret, and then said she had no feelings other than numb. She reported having no other physical sensations or reactions. The only thoughts or insights that she reported having were thoughts that her parents would have done better if they had communicated more. She also stated that she wished they had communicated more. Section on Early Recollections - ERs When asked about how involved or detached she was in this section Donna responded: Um (pause) I think I was probably (pause) um (pause) detached from them. She stated that this was because she had discussed them previously with her therapist. She also stated that she used to think they were devastating but now she sees them as more innocent, although one of the events recounted in a recollection had the powerful effect of preventing her from drawing currently. the one about the drawing I'm (pause) to this day I still don't draw, and I don't even attempt to draw because of it I just (pause) can't (pause) bring myself to put something on paper (pause) and I'm sure it's because of that. She reported not having any physical sensations or reactions CHAPTER FOUR 78 when relating the recollections. In response to this question she connected her reaction in a particular recollection to her son's recent behavior. Not really (pause) I related (pause) you know, the stealing of the banana with (pause) my son's attempt at (pause) stealing something too and I thought, you know, really I should (pause) how—how uh (pause) diffi cult that was for me (pause) and remember for when--*if—if he does it. She did not report any other thoughts or insights. Reactions and thoughts between Sessions Donna found it benefical to describe her family individually as she had never done that before. She continued to "mull those thoughts over". She was interested in finding out what was involved in the interpretation because she hoped that she might find out some thing that would help her make decisions about her future. Working toward the Interpretation Donna reported being quite involved during this experience. Quite—quite engrossed. Not--not necessarily feelings, but intellectually. Again I guess that's because my--my--um habit of--of how I deal with (pause) things, (pause) Like I don't (pause) yeah I think that's like intellectually quite engrossed. She experienced a feeling of embarrassment and a physical reaction which she described as tenseness in her mind. Donna, "Um actually I'm feeling a bit tense." (laughter) Investigator ,"Right now? ir Donna, "Yes (laugh) mind-wise, you know. ti CHAPTER FOUR 79 She reported having quite a few thoughts and insights that she felt anxious to "mull over" by herself. She was not able to put them into words. Quite a few actually. um About how I'm goin--how I'm going say—mull this all over. um Actually, quite a few because I think a lot of the things you've mentioned are a lot of the things that I hadn't really (pause) couldn't really um (pause) get my finger on, or, you know. She felt excited because she thought that she had found the key that she was looking for to help her make her decisions regarding her future, but she was unable to state what it was. She stated that she felt relief in regard to her feelings. ...it's sort of (pause) bit of a relief to my feelings. Like it's an intellectual relief to my feelings Summary Donna felt detached while talking about her siblings and relating the ERs. She was engrossed while talking about her parents and very engrossed while working toward the interpreta tion. The feelings she experienced were pity for one sister, 'mixed-up' about another, numbness, embarrassment and excitement. The physical sensations she experienced were a sensation of warmth in one half of her chest toward a brother, and a sensation in one shoulder toward a sister, and a 'tenseness in her mind' while working toward the interpretation. After the interpreta tion she reported an 'intellectual relief to her feelings'. During the collections of the life style data Donna had very CHAPTER FOUR 80 few thoughts or insights. She had some thoughts about current self-sacrificing behaviors of herself and her siblings and she wished her parents had communicated more. While working toward the interpretation she had many thoughts and insights but was not able to put them into words. Life style ratings tend to be neutral to moderately high on activity (3.75-5.25) and potency (3.75-4.5) dimensions. This supports Donna's neutral to positive statements in regard to her degree of involvement during most sections. The moderately high rating for interpretation (5.25) contradicts her active, excited behavior observed during this section. The potency of all sections was identical to or very close to the potency of her positive movies. Again, the potency rating of the interpretation contradicted the strong effect this section was observed to have on her. Because Donna had strong reactions during this section the investigator did not divulge all the information. This indi cates that the interpretation section was very potent for her. Life style ratings on the evaluative dimension ranged fro.m moderately low to moderately high (3.0-4.75). This indicates that Donna ranged from feeling moderately negative to moderately positive toward these sections. The interpretation rating is high (6.0), identical to her personally meaningful and best movies, indicating a very postive attitude toward this section. This supports Donna's smiling and laughing behavior during this section as well as her report that she thought she had found the key for which she had been looking. Overall the life style sections tend to be very similar to CHAPTER FOUR 81 the experience of watching a personally meaningful or a best movie. The linear distance measures show the life style ratings, with the exception of the sibling section, similar to her person ally meaningful movie (3.9-6.8). The linear distance measures show the life style sections ranging from moderately similar (Sibling section) to very similar (interpretation section) to the experience of watching her best movie. This supports Donna's involved and excited behavior during the procedure. Her positive report such as she felt "an intellectual relief to her feelings" and that the information "fit so well" indicate that she found the process a positive one. Therapist's Report ( As written by Donna's therapist) Donna has reduced anxiety, more insight, and does not get as upset over things as she did before. She enrolled in a course in a field in which she had secretly always been interested but had avoided because of her fear of failure. CHAPTER FOUR 82 Case Study Number Five: Elaine See Appendix K for audio-transcript Age: 31 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this clinic: 31 Presenting problem: Anorexia nervosa Referral source: Self Description of Elaine Elaine is a short petit woman. She was very neatly dressed. She eagerly participated in the life style analysis. She was calm and interacted with me in a normal manner throughout both sessions. She appeared to be interested in the life style data collection process during the first session and very involved in the interpretation session during the second session. Family Constellation Elaine grew up with her natural mother and father. Sister: + 4 Elaine: 31 Life Style Summary I am considerate, sensitive, and a hard worker. I am willing to break the rules to get what I want. I have high standards of accomplishment. I get hung up on detail but I enjoy that. I am neglected by everyone. I am only important to ray father and then only when I am perfect. If I am perfect I can create moments when my father will relax and enjoy me; then I belong. CHAPTER FOUR 83 Others are not important. Only my father is important. Life is nothing except for a few perfect moments. It is constant struggle to create them. Therefore I must work very hard to be perfect. I can never relax and be myself. If I focus on those perfect moments I can ignore how neglected I am by everyone. Section on Siblings Elaine reported feeling neutral during this experience, neither engrossed or detached. The feelings she reported were described as "good feelings" with no regrets in regard to their relationship. She did not experience any physical sensations or reactions. The thoughts she had about her sister were in regard to their relationship and the open communication between them. She did not learn anything new about herself or her childhood situation. Section on Parents Elaine reported being "pretty engrossed" while talking about her parents. ...I could sort of--relive everything I was saying. I was experiencing as I talked about it I--I um felt like I was talking about some thing very close to myself rather than just talking about something (pause) or someone. Not so much feeling that I was just stating facts as--as feelings. The feelings that she experienced were mixed feelings of love, hurt, fairness, anxiety, and warmth. She experienced overall twinges. The twinges related to wanting to relive situations of which she had spoken. She was surprised at the CHAPTER FOUR 84 Table Number 8 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Five: Elaine DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful 4.75 4.5 5.0 Best 5.5 5.0 2.5 Worst 4.0 3.75 2.5 Pleasant 5.5 4.25 5.0 Run-of-the-mill 3.0 3.75 4.5 Frightening 4.25 4.5 2.25 Exciting 5.5 3.25 5.0 Life Style Sections Siblings 5.5 4.75 6.0 Both Parents Mother Father 4.5 5.75 3.5 3.0 5.25 3.25 4.25 4.25 6.0 Early Recollections 5.5 3.75 5.75 Interpretation 6.5 Table 8 b 5.25 3.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Five: '. Elaine LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 3.2 8.1 5.5 6.1 4.7 4.6 5.3 9.5 3.6 7.5 5.4 5.8 Worst 11.0 8.4 9.7 9.4 9.2 9.5 Pleasant 4.5 5.1 4.0 6.0 6.0 3.6 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 7.6 9.1 4.9 7.1 7.4 7.7 5.1 9.0 6.7 8.1 9.0 7.4 Exciting 6.0 5.3 5.1 6.5 4.1 7.7 CHAPTER FOUR 85 small incidences that she recalled, amazed that she didn't remember more significant events in her life. It made her think of unimportant times that she shares with her children. Section on Early Recollections ERs Elaine reported being very engrossed while relating her re collections. She stated that during the cueing procedure she was expanding on the thoughts she had about them, and on one recollection in particular. When asked what feelings she experienced, she talked about thoughts that she had concerning missing the good times and wishing she could relive them. Feelings were mentioned in response to the question regarding physical sensations. She again mentioned twinges which were related to a feeling of loss of good times which she can never relive. Yeah twinges again just sort of (pause) um like the same kind of feelings you get when you've (pause) lost some—that's sort of—not an empty feeling, far from that, but um (pause) sort of almost a desperate feeling that you know something was gone and you can't get it back The thoughts that she had related to the importance of doing things in life no matter whether big or small. Reactions between Sessions Elaine reported being surprised that she talked about little things in her life rather than bigger events. Other than these thoughts she had no reactions. CHAPTER FOUR 86 Elaine really looked forward to the second session be cause she had felt 'left up in the air' from the first one and hoped to get some answers as to why she responded in the way that she did. Working toward the Interpretation She reported being very engrossed in the interpretation process, more engrossed in the second session than the first. She claimed to have been apprehensive about the first session because she was not sure what to expect, and quite confused about the answers that she gave. However, during the second session she thought that she had come to understand a great deal of what happened for her the previous week. She used the word "fascinating" several times during the process. It's really been enlightening. It just fascinates me that someone can pick up on an hour's conversation and--and (pause) you know, the things that you were saying were exactly what I was thinking, you know. Again, she experienced mixed feelings, good feelings, feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and struggling. She expressed her fear of hearing the answers to questions she felt she might not be able to deal with yet. ....I think being afraid of--of some of the answers coming out—not of you hearing them, but of me hearing them. um Things that I was realizing and wondering maybe I'm--maybe I'm not (pause) quite ready to (pause) to actually admit this, you know, I know it's there but I've had it bottled up for so long so I think--think there was a sort of a struggle going on (pause) as to just HOW MUCH I wanted to get from it. CHAPTER FOUR 87 She was not aware of any physical sensations, but de-cribed herself as involved emotionally during the process. I don't really pick up on the—the physical end of it somehow. I think I got really tied up in it emotionally and um (pause) wasn't really aware of the physical end of it. Ignoring her physical self is a pattern for her. ..I'm working so hard mentally and—and (pause) emotionally that--that (pause) physical is neglected... The thoughts that she had involved her surprise at the little events that she related. She did not feel able to put the details of her life into a bigger picture for herself. She said that she was now going to be more aware of the little moments in her life. Summary Elaine reported being neutral (neither engrossed or detached) while talking about her siblings and herself. She was engrossed talking about her parents and very engrossed while relating the ERs. She was most engrossed while working toward the interpretation. During this section she experienced a range of feelings. There were 'good feelings' toward her sister, and mixed feelings while talking about her parents (love, hurt, fairness, anxiety, and warmth). Relating the ERs she experienced 'a lost feeling'— 'a desperate feeling' from having lost something that can never be regained. She experienced mixed feelings while working toward the interpretation, 'good feelings', 'anxiety, uncertainty, and struggling'. She also experienced fear of hearing the answers. CHAPTER FOUR 88 Elaine stated that she "could sort of relive everything" she was saying. The only physical sensations she experienced were "twinges" connected to the feeling of having lost something that could not be relived. The thoughts that she had related to her current relation ship with her sister and with her children. She also had thoughts about "doing things in life no matter whether big or small". She reported no insights. The interpretation section on the activity (6.5) and potency (5.25) dimensions are rated higher than any of Elaine's movies. The rating of the section on mother (5.25) is also higher in potency than any of her movies. On the evaluative dimension the life style sections tend to be neutral to high. The section on siblings and father are evaluated high. This indicates that Elaine feels very positive towards these sections more positive than towards any of her movies. This supports her report of 'good feelings' toward her sister and 'no regrets' about their relationship but is tempered by her report that she felt neutral during this section. It also supports her focused striving for attention from her father. Overall the life style sections tend to be moderately similar to the experience of watching a personally meaningful or pleasant movie. This is supported by the observed enjoyment of Elaine while participating in the procedure as well as her use of the term 'fascinating' to describe the interpretation section. The linear distance measures also support the moderate similarity of the life style sections to the experience CHAPTER FOUR 89 of the two types of movies. The life style sections measure (3.2-5.5) from her personally meaningful movie and (3.6-6.0) from her pleasant movie. This analysis has had the impact of reinforcing certain concepts we have been working on in therapy and has had the effect of enhancing and speeding up the process of therapy specifically in being able to see father as less than perfect and his expectations cum her own expection on herself as being unrealistic, frivolous and destructive. Elaine herself was placed in a mild state of psychological shock at the intensity of the insights provided and they had to be mediated over several sessions to be accepted and dealt with. Follow-up therapy was essential to prevent Elaine from either dismissing the new found knowledge or being traumatized by such. Therapist's Report (As written by Elaine's therapist) CHAPTER FOUR 90 Case Study Number Six: Fiona See Appendix L for audio-transcript Age: 35 Female Marital Status: Married, recently separated. Months in therapy at this clinic: 15 Presenting problem: Anorexia nervosa Referral source: Self Description of Fiona Fiona is a short, very thin woman. She has short hair and large eyes. She came to each session carrying a drink. She smoked, although often she would just get a cigarette ready and hold it (and her lighter) without lighting it. Fiona appeared interested and eager to participate in the life style analysis. She spoke in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. She was very open, readily expanding on her answers. She frequently used qualifying expressions such as sort of, almost, and a little bit; she often would not finish one sentence before starting another. In the first session she usually referred to herself in the second person whereas in the second session she mostly referred to herself in the first person. She cried during both sessions. During the collection of the data involving her sister and herself, the interaction between us was normal. During the taking of the data concerning her parents she spoke even more quietly. She climbed up into the chair and sat on the arm of it. She stared out of the window as she talked, almost oblivious of my presence. To me, she appeared to be in a world of her own, CHAPTER FOUR 91 visualizing as she talked. She spoke very quietly with long pauses in the relating. During the relating of her third recollection she experienced a strong response. She connected the feeling from that recollection to the feeling she has about her current life situation. To her, the feelings were identical. At this point I began the interpretation process, connecting themes from the recollections to her current life's circumstanses and her family constellation data. She related one more recollection and the theme from it was connected to the rest of the material. Following working together toward the interpre tation and after the cueing procedure she answered the questions regarding talking about her siblings and herself. The cueing procedure was repeated for the section concerning her parents. While she responded to the questions she developed an intense emotional state which she referred to as feeling "unreal". At this point I discontinued asking the research questions and asked her therapist to come into the session. Fiona talked with her therapist and myself, for approximately one half hour during which time she continued to sit on the arm of the chair. Then the session was concluded and an appointment was arranged for the following week. When she left her face was relaxed and softer looking. This session was four hours in length. That evening I telephoned her and talked with her for approximately one half hour. During this conversation she stated, "I feel different". She appeared for the next session eager to participate. She was asked to describe what last week's session was like for her. Then we worked through the interpreta-CHAPTER FOUR 92 tion process the second time. Following this I conducted the cueing procedure and asked the research questions for the sec tions concerning her parents and the early recollections. During the second session she interacted with me in a normal manner. She seemed very aware of my presence and did not stare out the window or at the wall. She did not have long pauses in her responses and spoke in her regular quiet voice. Family Constellation: Fiona's parents were in their mid-forties when their only children, twin girls, were born. Fiona described herself as three minutes younger than her sister. Sister: + 3 minutes Fiona: 35 Life Style Summary I am sensitive, hardworking, and conforming. I am considerate and try extremely hard to please others. I tend to be a perfec tionist and I'm a bit hard on myself. I'm like a doll; some body's toy or possession. I am persistent, constantly trying to get out of life's traps. Others are domineering and very difficult to please. They confine me and do what they want with me. Life is a vicious trap. Therefore, I must always work to get out of the trap. I have no rights of my own because I am more like somebody's dog. I con centrate so hard on getting out of the traps that I don't know how to be free. Once out of a trap I will throw myself back in CHAPTER FOUR 93 because I'm terrified of being free and alone. I need somebody to cling to. Section on Siblings Fiona described herself as involved in this section but not as involved as she was during the early recollections and inter pretation process. She reported having feelings of anger toward her sister and talked about strong competitive feelings in regard to thinness. She experienced the anger in her chest. She also reported having a headache but was not clear whether she had it during this section or it developed later. She reported becoming aware of how she and her sister are fighting each other. She stated that she had been somewhat aware of their battle before, but going through this experience made this aspect of their relationship clearer. She said she felt like phoning her sister at this point, having both love and hate feelings toward her. Section on Parents Fiona reported being very engrossed while talking about her parents. She described feelings of fear, anger, being trapped, helplessness, and guilt. She continued, talking about the guilt she felt now that her mother was dead and she was free. When asked about physical sensations she mentioned helpless ness and feeling unreal. When asked further about the unreal feeling she responded that she felt "like crawling into a corner". This feeling became very potent for her at this point. CHAPTER FOUR 94 Table 9 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Six: Fiona DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful 4.25 2.75 3.25 Best 5.0 4.0 2.2Worst 2.5 2.75 1.5 Pleasant 6.0 4.5 6.2Run-of-the-mill 4.25 3.75 3.5 Frightening 3.5 2.75 2.5 Exciting 3.25 4.25 5.2Life Style Sections Siblings 4.75 2.75 3.0 Both Parents 3.5 3.25 3.0 Mother 3.75 4.5 4.75 Father 3.0 4.5 4.7Early Recollections 3.25 3.75 3.0 Interpretation 3.75 3.25 3.25 Table 9 B Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Six: Fiona LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personsally Meaningful Best 5.4 7.2 6.2 8.2 7.9 9.7 9.3 8.8 7.7 6.8 8.1 8.7 Worst 6.6 4.9 10.0 9.8 7.9 6.5 Pleasant 10.3 10.9 8.8 9.1 9.8 11.5 Run-of-the-mill Frightening 5.8 5.9 5.6 7.1 8.5 10.1 6.2 7.8 8.7 7.1 6.2 7.8 Exciting 7.9 8.0 9.5 4.5 9.2 7.4 CHAPTER FOUR 95 Because it was not clear to me what was causing the unreal feelings, I asked her if she was feeling trapped in the session with me. She stated the opposite, that she felt safe in the counselling sessions and was afraid to leave. She was concerned that she might be crazy. Fiona, "Yeah, I don't (pause) feel real. Can you understand?" Investigator, "Yes. Can I help you feel real? Is there anything I can do to help you feel real?" Subject, "Am I crazy?" Investigator, "No." Subject, "What happened?" Fiona experienced a few momemts of not feeling that she was a real person. I reassured her that she was not crazy and framed the ability to live in different worlds as the mechanism she used to cope with her abusive childhood. She responded to this by telling about the fantasy world she had created for herself as a child. She then continued, describing herself as close to a breaking point. Fiona, "I feel safe here. I don't feel safe any place else. I'm being very honest. I'm near a--I don't know if I'm near a breaking point." Investigator, "You're feeling desperate." Fiona, "DESPERATE! That's it! I want to go on but I want to have to be strong, but how long do you keep on being (pause) before you (long pause) . " As I was a stranger to her I decided to ask her therapist to talk CHAPTER FOUR 96 with her at this point. I decided she needed to have contact with someone who sees her on an ongoing basis. In the second session after the interpretation process, I used the cued memory technique and asked the research questions for the two sections that had not been completed in the previous session. She again mentioned anger, this time she included pity which related to how her parents had lived their life through her. It was not clear whether the pity she felt was for her parents or for herself. She reported feeling upset which was related to the guilt she felt in regard to her parents. She further described her upsetness as shakiness all over and as a knot in her stomach. When asked about thoughts and insights, she reported having several insights in regard to her family dynamics. One was that her parents were more like wardens than parents. Another was the degree to which the three of them (Fiona, sister, and father) had lived trying to prevent her mother from exploding. The third was that her father sacrificed her welfare to prevent her mother from exploding. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) This section includes an interpretation segment and thus does not pertain only to the ERs. Fiona reported being quite engrossed while relating her early recollections. When asked to elaborate on what 'quite engrossed' meant to her she stated, "It became very aware to me, you know, how I felt—almost like I was almost reliving it". She described the feelings that occurred for her, "sort of helpless ness,um—captive, a dark sort of feeling, sort of a dark haze..." CHAPTER FOUR 97 While she was relating the last early recollection she spoke of the concern that she had had before coming to the session—that she might become scared during the life style analysis. She cried at this point. When asked about physical reactions she talked of a sad hurtful feeling. At first, she described it as all over her body. She was rubbing her throat as she talked and then put her hand on her chest at the bottom of her rib cage and stated that she felt it there. The thoughts that she had were of how unreal her childhood had been, and of the three different worlds in which she had been living. She stated that at one point she got very confused as to which world was real for her. It almost seems unreal—it was an unreal childhood, and like you say, living in three different worlds and--you know, that—sort of a plastic sort of--a mold and uh came to a point there I didn't know which world I was in. She stated that this was the first time that she had ever per ceived her life in this way. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Fiona reported that she felt dazed and wandered around after the session. She met with a friend immediately after the session but she felt so drained that she arranged for her friend's husband to drive her home. Once home she found it difficult to continue her normal routine. I got home and I couldn't really (pause) found it hard to get everything back together, you know what I mean, like the—to get your self in the ritual—into ritual and every-CHAPTER FOUR 98 thing all seem to be out of—life seemed to be a little bit all mixed up. ...by the time I got it all together it was a little bit late but it was sort of like you were trying to get everything (pause) straight in your head again. When asked to elaborate on how she felt different after the session she stated that she saw the world differently and felt relief at understanding how she came to be the person she was. A little dazed but a little bit relieved —a little bit more—so much more in touch with myself (pause) that it was like —I knew how I got from point A to point B. That's a bit scary. Then you start doubting yourself a bit. You know, maybe it all didn't happen. Sort of like a dream and I (pause) but I could actually see how I got from there to here. She stated that she had come to a full realization of how she had lived in traps all her life. She was so used to being in traps she tended to put herself in them because it was too scary for her to be free. She also talked about herself as a person who would take a risk and this was discussed as a resource that she has. She described herself as being "a little bit scared but excited" about coming for the second session because she wondered what more she might find out about herself. Working toward the Interpretation The interpretation process was carried out as outlined in the methodology. Fiona described herself as 'quite' engrossed as we worked through the interpretation process. When asked what feelings she experienced she mentioned having "a realization of what happened" CHAPTER FOUR 99 to her and feelings of pity for "her". It was not clear to whom she was referring. She also stated that the feeling of unreal-ness occurred to her again in this session. Like I hadn't been real, like something fragile—like a—like a doll, you know what that is—that's (pause) not human. In a way I haven't really felt too human all my life, you know, more of a possession or somebody's toy. She stated that she found the second session "even a bit more scary" because it involved talking about being free from traps. She experienced a feeling of panic at the thought of being free. Panic, yeah, like I've been in other people's--I haven't been me—I've been part of my Mom part of—you know—Now it's scarry to think of getting out. The scared feeling she had she experienced as shakiness all over. She also felt "anger is sort of inside" because she felt discarded and also because people had expectations of her to recover and she was not confident that she could. I feel sort of used and like thrown away. Like something that's been kept, no good anymore, throw it out and now what does it do, it's been so overly used, (laugh) How does it get itself back together to start all—you know what I mean. And yet it's expected of you. Somebody says I know you can do—and at times I feel like saying heck maybe I can't—to hell with it all, you know. The thoughts she had during this process concerned her fears for the future. Am I so terrified of the unknown that I'm--feel safer to be in (pause) this (pause) terrified of failure—terrified that what CHAPTER FOUR 100 if I go out there and I don't make it, you know that (pause) um many years ahead, I don't want to concentrate too far—OK I— I look ahead, OK I've got—I'm gonna live to 80, really what's (pause) got no family, so even if you get a job that's—but at least I've got to have that, you know. She reported having an insight of the need for her to believe that she is free now. That I um—I don't believe I'm really— you know, I guess I've got to start believing it myself more—that I'm free. Summary Fiona was very engrossed in all sections of the life style analysis but was most engrossed during the relating of the ERs and working toward the interpretation. The feelings she experienced ranged from anger and competitive feeling with her sister to a desperate feeling of 'almost at a breaking point'. Other feelings were pity, scared, fear, trapped, helplessness, and a 'dark sort of feeling'. Fiona experienced various physical sensations the strongest a feeling of 'unreal'. She also felt anger in her chest, and a 'sad hurtful' feeling at the bottom of her rib cage. She had a knot in her stomach, a headache, and was shaky all over. The thoughts she had related to past family dynamics and current relationship dynamics with her sister. She had a major insight in that she perceived her life in an entirely new way. In activity, potency, and evaluative dimensions ratings range from moderately negative to moderately positive. The moderate and neutral ratings contradict the observed behaviors of Fiona and her reports of her experiences. The linear distance CHAPTER FOUR 101 scores show the life style sections measuring, overall, closest to a run-of-the-mill movie; ratings tend to be similar and moder ately similar to the experience of this movie (5.6-8.7). These measures also contradict Fiona's behavior and self-reports. The observed behaviour of Fiona during the life style analysis (i.e. climbing up into the chair and staring out the window as she talked) contradicts the moderate and neutral potency ratings (2.75-4.5). Her behavior, the strong physical sensations she reported, as well as her statements of feeling "unreal" and "reliving" childhood events indicate that the sections on parents, early recollections, and interpretation were very potent experiences for her. Overall, the experiences of the life style analysis were not like the experiences of watching any of her movies. This indi cates that the experience of the life style analysis was a diff erent kind of experience, perhaps one in which she felt like herself which, to her, felt 'unreal*. Therapist's Report (As written by Fiona's therapist) Going through the life style analysis has had a major impact on Fiona. Initially the impact was both immense and immediate in that Fiona actively regressed during the session and I had to be called in to help bring her back into the reality of here and now. Further, the impact was also very long lasting in that the information obtained led to indepth and intense sessions over the following six months, dealing with both the process itself of the analysis and the information obtained. This has led to Fiona making significant progress in therapy and in her daily living CHAPTER FOUR 102 conditions. It is important to consider that the insights obtained by the analysis were poignant and extremely intense in their impact and that the therapeutic sessions following the analysis were, in my opinion, absolutely vital to Fiona's surviving the powerful onslaught of the insights provided. CHAPTER FOUR 103 Case Study Number Seven: Ginny See Appendix M for audio-transcript Age: 31 Female Marital Status: Married Months in therapy at this clinic: 25 Presenting problem: Husband had sexually approached a child Ginny was babysitting. Ginny was referred to the incest group as she had been sexually abused as a child. Referral source: Ministry of Human Resources Description of Ginny Ginny is a mildly plump woman of average height. She wears her hair in a short curly fashion, and dresses in a tidy casual style. She is a pleasant mannered, soft-spoken woman. She main tained normal eye-contact throughout the first session and during the latter part of the second session. She appeared shy and/or apprehensive at the beginning of the first session and distraught at the end of it. For the second session she appeared worried. She participated in an open manner in the giving of the life style data. Throughout the first session her voice was soft and her manner subdued. As the session progressed her voice became softer and long pauses occurred during the relating of the data, particuarly during the description of her parents and grandparents, and the early recollections. During the answering of the research questions she began to cry and became more and more depressed. At the end of the session another appointment was arranged after which she immediately saw her therapist. CHAPTER FOUR 104 Her therapist reported that Ginny was depressed as a result of relating the life style data. Ginny did not keep the appointment for the next session and said that she did not remember making one. A second appoint ment was made which Ginny kept, two weeks after the first session. At the beginning of the second session Ginny spoke of being depressed. After discussing how she felt I told her she could discontinue the session now if she wanted. She chose to continue. I began the interpretation by verbally drawing a picture of her family and her early years, and I discussed what it must have been like for her to grow up in this family. Then a theme from a recollection was shared and discussed with her. This was connected to another recollection with a similar theme. In one recollection she accidently killed a creature as she was en joying herself and other children tormented her because of it. In the other, she accidently injured a family pet as she picked it up and her siblings blamed her when their mother gave the pet away. At this point she began to cry and connected what was being said to an incident which happened to her earlier that day, regarding her sister harming a mouse. She cried more as she related this incident and talked of the cruelty of people. Then her crying became deep choking sobs, and she continued to cry uncontrollably for approximately one and a half hours. I held her during this time, sometimes talking to her validating her pain, and sometimes just rocking her. When her crying subsided we then discussed how she perceived and coped with her unhappy CHAPTER FOUR 105 and abusive childhood. I asked her therapist to come in toward the end of the session and she stayed for approximately one half hour. During this time the therapist, Ginny, and myself dis cussed issues which were related to the life style analysis. After the therapist left Ginny was asked the research questions regarding what she had just experienced. The session was approx imately four hours in length. When Ginny left her face looked soft, smooth, and relaxed. At nine o'clock that evening I telephoned Ginny, as arranged during the session, and talked with her for almost one hour. She was calm, introspective, and described herself as "drained". Family Constellation Ginny grew up with her natural parents. She is the second of seven siblings. Her grandparents lived next door and were very influential in her psychological development. Sister: + 2 Ginny: 31 Brother: - 3 Sister: - 6 Sister: - 8 Sister: - 10 Brother: - 12 Life Style summary I am hard working, sensitive, and rebellious. Whenever I relax and be myself or try to get my needs met the consequences are disastrous. I am caring but I am confused about people. I cannot understand why they are like they are. I am helpless and vulnerable. I am the good one of the family. Others are mean, cruel, and uncaring. They are always lashing CHAPTER FOUR out. They torment me and abandon me. advantage of me. 106 Men are violent and take Life is violent and dangerous. Therefore if I concentrate I can rise above the cruelty of others and avoid their hits and blows. I am able to cope and do what I want by pretending to be asleep. Therefore I must always con centrate in order to survive. I am a loner, but incredibly lonely. Section on Siblings Ginny reported feelings of sadness and loss because her sibling and herself are not close. She expressed deep caring for all her brothers and sisters and blamed her mother for causing the loss. She expressed confusion as to why it had to be that way. As she talked about her caring for her siblings and about her loss, her eyes were moist and she felt "tight". She had her hand at the base of her neck. She thought that if her mother and siblings only knew what loss is they would be able to love others. ...if they knew what it was to lose something or somebody, then they could—they could have it in here. (Hand on chest) You know, they could--they could feel. Because of the great loss that she feels she has experienced, (loss of her siblings, her parents, her family) she has had suicidal tendencies. I guess I've (pause) wanted to die for so many years. I guess that (pause) I've come so close to hurting myself (pause). CHAPTER FOUR 107 Table 10 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Seven: Ginny DIMENSIONS Movies Personally Meaningful Best ACTIVITY 3.25 4.0 POTENCY 3.75 3.25 EVALUATIVE 4.0 3.0 Worst Pleasant 2.5 2.5 4.25 2.25 4.75 7.0 Run-of-the-mill 4.0 4.0 3.5 Frightening Exciting 6.5 5.75 3.75 4.5 1.0 2.75 Life Style Sections Siblings 5.0 4.75 3.0 Both Parents Mother Father 4.0 4.25 4.25 4.25 4.0 3.75 2.5 3.0 2.5 Early Recollections 5.0 3.5 2.75 Interpretation 6.0 Table 10 B 3.25 1.25 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Seven: Ginny LIFE STYLE : Movies SIBLINGS ; BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally Meaningful Best 6.6 3.5 7.1 3.5 5.6 3.2 6.5 3.0 6.4 2.8 9.7 6.4 Worst 7.8 7.9 7.8 7.9 8.2 12.3 Pleasant 12.7 13.4 12.2 12.7 12.3 16.1 Run-of the-mill Frightening 4.1 6.3 5.2 7.1 4.4 7.5 4.5 6.9 3.6 6.9 8.4 3.9 Exciting 6.1 4.6 5.6 5.7 6.2 7.5 CHAPTER FOUR 108 Section on Parents As she talked about her parents, Ginny described herself as "very engrossed, yeah, I was really into them, yeah". Feelings of anger and resentment came up as she thought of how they would handle the children. She could visualize her father's violence and she experienced wanting to curl up. I felt like curling up. (long pause) That's what I would do. I would curl up. She expressed her lack of understanding in regard to how her parents could have raised their children the way they did, with so much abuse and unhappiness. Section on Early Recollections (ERs) Ginny described herself as "very engrossed" while relating her ERs. She expressed feelings of sadness and confusion. Many questions occurred to her. I don't know where the happiness is... I wondered why? Why—why all these (pause) It seemed so negative, and I don't under stand why. Why did the toad die? What did I do? What was I (pause) you know, I was really being careful. Why--why--why would I remember these things all so vividly? It occurred to her while she related her ERs that she has not been able to "set aside" her terrible childhood; she is still greatly upset by it. She experienced the same physical sensation that she had in her recurring dream. I could almost—I could feel their grabbing at me when I'm up there. Yeah, I could (pause) CHAPTER FOUR 109 I feel the (pause) touch like just (pause) but I did in my dreams too. I just felt them. She stated that she did not have any insights. Reactions and Thoughts between Sessions Ginny stated that after the session she thought about her own family and her husband's family. Questions occurred to her regarding her marriage, and she experienced "a lot of hate feelings". She talked of having become depressed but lacked understanding as to the cause of the depression. I guess I really LOOKED at my family, you know I looked at them individually when I left and I tried to compare me to them, to really see where I was different or where I was the same and whatnot. But I feel like I've really gone down into a real depression and I don't know why. Ginny stated that she "felt better" about coming to work toward the interpretation because it was on an individual basis. She stated that she had always wanted to talk to someone about her difficult childhood but found it difficult in a group situation because of the strong message from her parents to 'Keep your mouth shut'. She talked of her feelings when she comes for therapy sessions. ...when I come in here (pause) I just feel like a little girl, and I felt scared... Working toward the Interpretation Ginny felt totally engrossed while going through this process. At the point when she was answering the questions she felt totally lost and not belonging anywhere. She expressed her wish to be close to her husband. CHAPTER FOUR 110 I feel like I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I feel (pause) lost. She experienced being back in her childhood with the same feelings as she had then. As she related these feelings more memories occurred to her in regard to her parents, as well as feelings of resentment toward them. She recalled the fear of unjust punishment. I just felt like I was back home. Felt so unloved (long pause) lost, totally lost. Fear—fear that overtook anything because (pause) if you did something wrong (pause) no matter how small it was, the end result was so severe. Some thing would happen if you let yourself go... She also had feelings of pity for herself, "felt sorry for me". She connected her pity to her concern for her children, and spoke of her protectiveness of them. While she was crying, her chest was hurting and her head felt like it was going to explode. Later, after the sobbing had terminated, she described her head as "buzzing". By the end of the session the buzzing had stopped. She stated that she was unable to function at home because she felt so pushed back by the first session. I can't function at home, I don't know why, I thought I'd come a long way. I feel really pushed BACK again. She reported that she frequently has periods of feeling this way after periods of feeling alright. She related to the metaphor of 'walking a tightrope' which I used to describe these periods. CHAPTER FOUR 111 Summary Ginny was very engrossed throughout the life style analysis. She was most engrossed during the interpretation. She had many negative feelings ranging from confusion to feeling totally lost. Other feelings included sadness, loss, anger, resentment, unloved, pity for herself, and fear, She also experienced many physical sensations ranging from moist eyes to deep violent prolonged sobbing. Other sensations she experienced were tightness, her chest hurting, her head feeling like it was going to explode, buzzing in her head, and her parents grabbing at her legs. The thoughts she had related to suicide, and her lack of understanding at how her parents could raise so many children in such an abusive atmosphere. She reported no insights. The life style sections tend to be neutral in potency (3.25-4.75), very similar to the potency of all of her movies with the exception of her pleasant one (2.25). These ratings do not support Ginny's behavior. The depressed behavior Ginny exhibited as a result of the data collection sessions and her strong reaction during the interpretation indicate that all the life style sections were very potent experiences. On the activity dimension the sections on siblings (5.0), early recollections (5.0) and interpretation (6.0) were high, similar to her frightening (6.5) and exciting (5.75) movies. The sections involving the collection of the life style data tend to be evaluated low (2.5-3.0), indicating that they were negative experiences for Ginny. This supports the distress the first CHAPTER FOUR 112 session was observed to cause her and her own statements of depression as a result of the data collection session. The interpretation session was evaluated very low (1.25). This supports that it was a very negative experience for her, very similar to her experience of watching a frightening movie (1.0). The linear distance score for the interpretation section (3.9) also measures very close to her frightening movie. This supports Ginny's observed behavior and reported experiences of the interpretation. Her life style indicates that she must always concentrate in order to survive and whenever she does not, the consequences are disastrous. For Ginny, crying uncontrollably for a long time would be the disastrous consequences of not concentrating and of meeting her own needs. Understandably this would be a very frightening experience for her. All the data collecting sections measured very close to the experience of watching her best movie (2.8-3.5). This indicates that Ginny was very involved during these sections and matches her statements of her experience, particularly of the early recollections during which she said she could visualize her father's violence and could feel her parents grabbing at her legs. These scores, indicating intense involvement, also match the observed involvement of Ginny as she participated in the data collection sessions; the non-verbal behavior Ginny displayed indicated that she became more and more depressed during these life style sections. Overall, participating in the life style sections, particu larly the interpretation was very similar to Ginny's watching a CHAPTER FOUR 113 frightening movie. Therapist's Report (As written by Ginny's therapist) Ginny is more relaxed and less depressed. She has more insight in regard to her negative view of life and her power to change things. She has shown more positive, persistant, and assertive behaviors. She shows a willingness to face people of whom she was afraid before. Repressed anger is surfacing, and she is relating new memories of other people in her life. CHAPTER FOUR 114 CASE STUDY NUMBER EIGHT: HAL See Appendix N for audio-transcript Age : 24 Male Marital Status: Single Months in therapy at this clinic: 14 Presenting Problem: Over-anxiety Referral Source: Self Family Constellation Hal lived with his natural mother and father. He is the youngest of three sons. Brother: + 12 Brother: + 10 Hal: 24 Life Style Summary I am intelligent, attractive, and curious. I am spoiled and like to have my own way. I am also conforming and try to please others. I am little, helpless, somewhat high strung, and sensitive. I am extremely ambitious; if I do something out standing I impress others. Others are strong and way ahead of me. They spoil me, but stifle my curiousity. Men have it all together, they are intelligent, rugged, and easy-going. Women are emotional, somewhat highstrung and very independent; they look down on me and inhibit me. Life is scarry. It is like a corridor, narrow and restricting. I am forced to walk down it to get immunization 'shots', and then I am rewarded. CHAPTER FOUR 115 Therefore I am always trying to catch up to everyone else. I get others to spoil and protect me by seeming weak. This puts me in a bind because I can't impress others by seeming weak. I belong by impressing others, but in order to do so I have to produce something outstanding. I can occasionally do this but I often give up and don't try any more; thus I usually feel left out. The only way I can handle women is to really impress them. Mainly, I go down the corridor of life, and suffer through life's painful events so I can get the goodies. Description of Hal Hal is a quiet reserved man, slim and attractive in appearance. He spoke in a quiet tone, sat in a relaxed manner, and maintained normal eye contact throughout both sessions. Hal responded to the collection of the life style data and interpre tation process in a calm cooperative manner. The information that he gave was brief and to the point. He elaborated when asked, but even then he kept his answers brief. He appeared somewhat detached, and unemotional throughout both sessions. He missed the first appointment for the interpretation apparently for employment reasons, and thus there was a two week interval between sessions. Section on Siblings Hal reported being quite engrossed while talking about his brothers and himself. He reported feeling envious of his brothers and experienced sensations of "more tightened" and "more constricted" all over his body. He had thoughts about not CHAPTER FOUR 116 Table 11 A Activity, Potency, and Evaluative Ratings for Subject Number Eight: Hal DIMENSIONS ACTIVITY POTENCY EVALUATIVE Movies Personally Meaningful Best 4.75 4.75 5.5 5.25 3.0 4.0 Worst Pleasant . 4.5 4.25 2.75 3.75 3.25 5.0 Run-of-the-mill 5.75 5.75 5.0 Frightening Exciting 4.5 5.5 5.0 5.75 2.25 5.25 Life Style Sections Siblings 3.75 3.75 2.75 Both Parents Mother Father 5.0 3.25 5.5 5.25 3.5 5.25 5.25 3.5 3.25 Early Recollections 3.75 3.25 3.0 Interpretation 4.75 Table 11 B 4.0 4.75 Linear Distance Measures for Subject Number Eight • Hal LIFE STYLE : SIBLINGS Movies BOTH PARENTS MOTHER FATHER ERS INTERPRE TATION Personally 5.5 Meaningful Best 6.9 5.7 5.1 6.2 6.9 3.3 4.7 6. 6. 1 6 5.9 5.5 Worst 5.9 7.9 5.9 7.6 4. 9 6.5 Pleasant 7.4 5.7 5.9 6.8 7. 1 5.7 Run-of-the-mill 8.5 4.0 7.9 4.9 9. 1 5.5 Frightening 4.2 6.4 5.3 3.6 5. 2 6.6 Exciting 9.2 4.2 8.4 5.7 9. 5 6.6 CHAPTER FOUR 117 feeling a "part of the family", that he didn't "quite fit in". These thoughts were not new to him. Section on Both Parents Hal reported that he was totally engrossed while talking about his parents. He experienced a range of feelings, sadness, loss, anger, and happiness, as well as the same overall tightness in his body. He had thoughts about his brothers' involvement in bringing him up and thoughts about the relationship between his mother and his father. Section on Early Recollections Hal reported being very involved while relating his ERs. He had feelings of trying to please, anger, and hostility. He experienced the same sensation of constriction. The thoughts he had were about the degree of hostility he had as a child; it was new information for him to realize that he had this hostility as a young child. He had been aware of it in his adolescence and adulthood, but not in early childhood. Reactions between Sessions Hal reported that he did not experience any reactions or have any thoughts after the initial session. He considered going through the interpretation process would be "just a normal session". Working toward the Interpretation Hal reported being very involved while going through this process. He had feelings of curiousity, anger, sadness, and CHAPTER FOUR 118 frustration. He felt that he had missed out on being a child, and would like to get more in touch with that part of his life. He experienced a tingling sensation which he said he had experienced before when he was "grossly self-involved". Summary While participating in the life style analysis, Hal ranged from feeling quite engrossed while discussing his brothers and himself to "grossly self-involved" while working toward the in terpretation. He reported being totally engrossed while talking about his parents and very engrossed while relating the ERs. Hal experienced a range of feelings, envy, sadness, loss, anger, happiness, trying to please, hostility, curiosity, and frustration. Physically he had sensations of tightness and constriction all over his body during the collection of the life style data, and a tingling sensation all over his body while working toward the interpretation. His thoughts related to his past family relationship dynamics and to a desire to get more in touch with the exper iences of his early years. He reported one insight—realizing the degree of hostility he had as a young child. Ratings of the Life style sections range from mildly negative to mildly positive on all dimensions of meaning, indicating moderate to neutral experiences for Hal. This is supported by the observation of Hal as he seemed to have no visible reactions during the procedure. Linear distance measures also indicate a narrow range of distances which fail to CHAPTER FOUR 119 differentiate between experiences. For example, the range of distances of the interpretation section from movies is 5.5 to 6.6. Comparison of the interpretation section to any movie experience is inappropriate within such narrow limits. Overall the life style analysis is not comparable to the experience of watching any of his movies. The interpretation section compares to the experience of watching a pleasant movie as the ratings of this section on all dimensions (activity: 4.75, potency: 4.0, and evaluative: 4.75) are very close to the ratings of his pleasant movie (activity: 4.25, potency: 3.75, and evaluative: 5.0). This supports his report of the tingling sensation he experienced during this section. Therapist's Report (As written by Hal's therapist) This is difficult to assess in a client such as Hal, as he is by nature taciturn and indulges infrequently in self-dis closure. It is significant that the insights gained have altered the focus of therapy from an examination of his relationship with his father, to an examination of the roots of his shy, helpless life style in the context of the entire family. I feel this is a much more fruitful area of concern for therapy and Hal has made some major adjustments in his shy self-deflating behaviors. I feel Hal has felt quite self-conscious about the analysis and initially had trouble digesting the information. He possibly might have been tempted to disregard the self knowledge gained were it not for our continued emphasis on the material obtained. CHAPTER FIVE 120 CHAPTER FIVE DESCRIPTIVE ANALYSIS OF RESULTS Preface In this chapter comparisons are drawn from the data provided by the eight single case studies. The results are compared in six areas. These areas are involvement, feelings, physical sensations, thoughts and insights, reactions between sessions, and quality of experience. Tables are used wherever possible to facilitate comparison. In addition an unanticipated result is presented and described. Area of Involvement Table 12 The degree to which subjects reported themselves engrossed in the life style sections Life Style SUBJECTS Sections A B C D E F G H Siblings V E E E D N V E V E Q E Parents V E E E E E V E V E T E ERs M E M E M E D V E M E V E V E Inter pretation M E M E M E V E M E M E M E T E E: engrossed D: detached N: neutral V: very T: totally M: more engrossed Q: quite CHAPTER FIVE 121 All subjects were engrossed through most of the life style analysis. Donna felt detached during the sections on siblings and early recollections. Elaine felt neutral during the section on siblings. Subjects, with two exceptions, tended to be engrossed during the section on siblings and become more engrossed as they discussed their parents. As mentioned previously Donna felt detached and Elaine neutral during the section on siblings. All subjects tend to be very engrossed while discussing their parents. Hal described himself as totally engrossed during this section. Of the three data collection sections subjects, with two exceptions, report themselves most engrossed during the relating of their early recollections. Donna described herself as detached during this section but mentions that this may because she had previously discussed her ERs with her therapist. At that time she had found them to be 'devastating' which suggests that she was most engrossed the first time she discussed her recollections. Hal reported he was totally engrossed while discussing his parents. All subjects tend to be more engrossed while working toward the interpretation than during any of the data taking sections. Area of feelings See Tables 13 & 14 All subjects, with one exception, reported experiencing feelings. Donna reported having no feelings during the segment on early recollections. As mentioned previously when Donna first discussed her ERs she experienced them as 'devastating' indicating that at least the first time ERs are CHAPTER FIVE 122 related strong feelings are experienced. All subjects experienced a variety of feelings. All subjects experienced positive and negative feelings but the majority of the feelings were negative. Three subjects, Hal, Carl, and Elaine, experienced a range of feelings from very negative feelings such as hostility, helplessness, and desperation, to very positive feelings, such as happiness, joy, and love. Five subjects reported mainly very negative feelings with one positive feeling. For example, Betty experienced many negative feelings such as anger, rejection, sadness, fear, and 'in a bind' during the data taking segments with only one positive feeling, that of feeling understood, during the interpretation. The most common feelings, anger and sadness, were reported by six subjects. Donna and Elaine did not report these feelings but this could be due to their being unaware of them. Donna is detached from her feelings and relies on her thinking abilities. Elaine focuses on small perfect events in her life, ignoring her feelings of neglect. Five subjects felt fear. For four subjects the fear was related to fearful events in their childhood. For two subjects it related to their fear of hearing answers to their situation because they were not sure they could handle them. Four subjects reported, in different ways, feeling left out--Betty felt 'on the outside' of siblings and 'uncared' for by parents, Carl felt excluded, Ginny felt she didn't belong, and Hal felt he didn't fit in. Loss was mentioned by four subjects. There were feelings mentioned by two or three subjects; 3 felt sorry for a member of the family or themselves, 3 felt hurt, CHAPTER FIVE 123 TABLE 13 Feelings reported by Subjects A - D during each section of the life style analysis. SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna Life Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre tation anger, confusion anger, sadness, confusion, surprise anger, frigh tened embarr assed , exposed sadness, feels 'on the outside' anger, sadness, frustration, rejected or set aside same fee lings as in ERs—sad, close to family sorry for one missed family, sister,mixed-envy towards up about wife.melancholy another tried to keep emotionally un-involved, missed out, sorry for Mom mixed emotions helplessness, joy, warmth, upset,afraid excluded bind,unable to put into words, understood anger at self and life, hurt, sadness, discouraged regret? numb none embarressed, exposed, excited, CHAPTER FIVE 124 TABLE 14 Feelings reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal 'good anger,strong sadness & envious of feelings', competative loss, deep brothers, 'no re feelings, caring for not fitting grets' love & hate siblings, in for sister confusion mixed fear,anger anger, sadness, feelings- trapped, resentment, loss , love , hurt helplessness, felt like, anger, fairness? guilt,pity, curling up happiness anxiety, desperate— warmth, near breaking surprise point desperate helplessness, sadness, trying to feeling captive, confusion please, of loss dark feeling, anger, sadness, hostility hurt Life Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre- mixed,'good pity, panic, tation feelings, scared,anger, anxiety discarded, uncertainty lot expected struggling, of her fear of the answers totally lost, curiosity, doesn't belong, anger, sad-unloved, fear, ness, frus— pity for self tration, missed out on childhood CHAPTER FIVE 125 2 felt frustrated, 2 felt embarrassed and exposed, 2 felt helplessness, and 2 felt surprised. Other feelings were mentioned by only 1 of the subjects, such as understood, joy, curiosity, anxiety, love, competitive, unloved, and numb. One subject, Betty, spontaneously reported that she experienced the same feelings during the relating of the early recollections as she had in the recollections. Reports from other subjects indicate that they also experienced the same feelings as in the ERs. The feelings reported by Amy, Carl, Fiona, and Hal during this section relate to the feelings of their early recollections. Physical sensations See Tables 15 & 16 Five subjects were aware of physical sensations during all sections of the life style analysis. Three subjects were not aware of any physical sensations during some sections. Amy reported sensations except when she was talking about her parents. Donna reported no sensations during the ERs. Elaine reported none during talking about her sister and the interpretation. Two subjects, Fiona and Ginny, experienced intense physical responses, Fiona had a feeling of unrealness while relating the early recollections and Ginny cried uncontrollably for an hour and a half while working toward the interpretation. Responses, such as crying, distraction, and depression, were visible to the investigator. Many responses, however, were not visible; they occurred internally. Sensations such as butter flies in the stomach, tightness, twinges, warmth, and feeling like curling up or crawling into a corner became known through CHAPTER FIVE 126 questioning the subjects. An internal reaction, that of reliving childhood experiences, was spontaneously reported by six subjects. Donna did not report reliving experiences during this study but her description of them as 'devastating' when she first discussed them suggests that she relived them then. Hal did not indicate that he was reliving childhood experiences but the degree of involvement he reported suggests that he also was reliving experiences as he underwent the life style analysis. Physical sensations experienced during the section on siblings tend to be mild. Betty felt like crying, Donna felt warmth in her chest and a mixed up feeling in her shoulder, and Ginny felt 'tight'. During the section on parents sensations were either present for the first time or stronger than in the section on siblings. For example, Elaine reported no physical sensations in the section on siblings but reported 'reliving everything' and 'twinges' during the section on parents. Betty felt warm all over during this section after feeling like crying in the first section. Ginny felt 'tight' in the first sections and 'like curling up' when discussing her parents. The section on early recollections tends to produce an experience in which physical sensations remain similar to the section on parents or increase in intensity. For Elaine, Ginny, Fiona, and Hal physi cal sensations tend to remain the same. For Amy, Betty, and Carl physical sensations tend to increase in intensity. Four subjects spontaneously reported 'reliving' events or times in their lives CHAPTER FIVE 127 TABLE 15 Physical sensations reported by Subjects A - D during each section of the life style analysis. SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna Life Style Sections Siblings Parents ERs Interpre tation 'went back in that age,'just thinking about it I got really small' none heart beating quickly, skin tigh— tening up skin tigh tening up, heart beating quickly felt like crying felt warm all over 'I felt like I was there' 'mind so busy warmth searching for in chest, information' mixed-up physically relieved tears to eyes ' reliving them', 'I can still picture all those things', remembers sen sations of ERs stomach up set; butter flies mixed-ufeeling in shoulder numb none tenseness in her mind,re lief to feelings CHAPTER FIVE 128 TABLE 16 Physical sensations reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis. SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal Life style Sections Siblings Parents none ERs Interpre tation 'relive everything ' , overall twinges twinges none anger in chest, headache? felt like crawling into a cor ner, 'unreal' sad hurtful feeling in bottom of rib cage 'reliving' shakiness felt 'tight' felt like curling up more tightened' 'more con stricted overall tightness visualize father's violence, feel parents tion grabbing legs same sen sation of constric-crying.deep prolonged sobbing, chest hurt, head going to explode, head buzzing tingling sensation all over body CHAPTER FIVE 129 during this section. Betty 'felt like I was there', Carl and Fiona reported reliving events, and Ginny could visualize her father's violence as well as feel her parents grabbing at her legs. The section on interpretation tends to produce physical sensations which differ from the data collection section. Five subjects experienced physical sensations during this section which contrasted with the sensations experienced during the data collection session. For example, Hal felt 'tightened' or 'constricted' during the data collection sections whereas he felt a tingling sensation during the interpretation. For Betty, Donna, and Hal the different physical sensations were positive whereas for Carl and Ginny they were negative. Thoughts and Insights See Tables 17 & 18 Thoughts range from, thinking about behavior during the life style analysis (i.e. Elaine thinking about the small incidents she related.) to thinking about the past and present inter personal relationships. All subjects thought about family dynamics when they were children and their current relationships with their family of origin. During the relating of the ERs, two subjects compared their behavior in the ERs to behavior of their children. All subjects with children (Hal was the only subject without children) talked about their relationship with their children at some point during the life style analysis although only two mentioned it when asked about thoughts and insights. Insights also ranged from minor, such as Amy's new view of her father as fat, to major, such as Fiona's coming to a 'complete CHAPTER FIVE 130 realization of what happened to her'. Five subjects reported having insights; of these, three were very clear about the insights that they had. Two subjects, Betty and Donna, had insights during the interpretation but were unable to remember them. Carl had an insight during the relating of his ERs but did not remember having it. Elaine, and Ginny did not report any insights. The section on siblings produced thoughts about past and current relationships with siblings. No insights were reported during this section. Fiona saw the competition between herself and her sister more clearly. The section on parents produced thoughts about family dynamics in the past and wishes that things could have been different. A minor insight (i.e. Amy thinking of her father as fat) occurred during this section. During the section on early recollections subjects reported thoughts about past family dynamics, current dynamics with children, and awareness of the importance of the past on current living. Major insights were reported during this section by three subjects (Amy, Fiona, and Hal). Carl had an insight during this section but did not remember having it when querried later. The section involving interpretation produced thoughts about life in childhood as well as about the subject's current circumstances and relationships. Two subjects, Betty and Elaine, reported their awareness of not wanting to hear answers with which they were not ready to deal, whereas Amy felt ready for this 'test'. This section produced insights for four subjects CHAPTER FIVE 131 TABLE 17 Thoughts and insights reported by Subjects A - D during each sections of the life style analysis SUBJECTS Amy Betty Carl Donna Siblings inter thought sib no time to how little she ested to lings would be intro knew siblings, compare never get to spective , how parents her atti know each mind busy had instilled tudes then other searching self-sacrifi-and now for infor attitude mation in children parents insight— parents how he parents would saw father were doing tried to have done bet in a new best they make up to ter of they'd way could mother for communicated her unhappy more, wished life they'd com-ERs insight--'it was my own self that made me do these things' cannot for get the past still im portant to her, still upsets her son's be havior same as his in ER, spirit broken so can' t realize ambitions municated more son's behavior related to a behavior of hers in ER Interpre- ready for aware of not saw his tation this'test',ready to life as insight acknowledge wasted cuz recreates answers,could hadn't rea-same boun- not remember lized his dries insights ambitions many thoughts and insights but unable to put into words CHAPTER FIVE 132 TABLE 18 Thoughts and insights reported by Subjects E - H during each section of the life style analysis SUBJECTS Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal Sibling 'no regrets' more aware of if family not fitting open com munication between her and her sister currently how she and sister fight each other, wanted to telephone sister knew what what loss was they could love others, thoughts of hurting herself in with his family Parents surprised at small incidences she re called ERs missed 'good times' wished she could re live inci dences she recalled, important to do things in life no mat ter whether big or small Interpre- aware of not tation ready to acknowlege answers,can not put de tails of life into bigger pic ture, small momemts im portant in future current dy namics now that mother was dead,in sights about family of or igin dynamics how unreal her child hood had been, and insight— three worlds she had been living in fears for her future, in sights—com plete reali zation of what hap pened to her, need to believe she's free could not understand how parents could raise brothers in volvement in bringing him up,parents kids with so relationship much abuse & unhappiness not been able to'set aside' her terrible childhood, still greatly upset by it wish to be close to husband, unable to function at home because so pushed back by session 1 insight-the degree of hostility he had as a young child missed out as as a child, would like to get more in touch with that part of his life CHAPTER FIVE 133 although not all subjects could put the insights into words. Carl, Elaine, Ginny, and Hal did not report any insights during this section. Reactions between Sessions See Tables 19 & 20 The reactions after the data collecting session ranged from none to very strong. One subject, Hal, reported no reactions whereas two subjects experienced dramatic reactions. Fiona was dazed, drained, and disoriented whereas Ginny reported going into a deep depression. The anticipations ranged from viewing the interpretation as 'just a normal session' to excitement and fear of finding out answers. Four subjects hoped to get answers from the interpretation. One subject, Carl, had 'misgivings' because he feared he would get a 'far-fetched interpretation'. Quality of Experience The experience of participating in a life style analysis ranges from an experience very similar to watching a frightening movie to an experience very similar to watching a best movie. For Donna, the experience was like watching a personally meaningful or best movie. Three other subjects (Betty, Carl, and Elaine) rated the experience moderately close to their personally meaningful movie. For one subject, Amy, the data collection sections were like watching run-of-the-mill movie with the interpretation section like watching a best movie. For one subject, Ginny, the experience was like watching a frightening movie. For two subjects, Fiona and Hal, the experience of the CHAPTER FIVE 134 J TABLE 19 Reactions of Subjects A - D after Session 1 (Life style sections 1 through 3) Subjects Amy Betty Carl Donna After Session 1 Antici pations before Session 2 Thoughts about changes she would have made in her answers,more strain aware of her own behavior Emotionally drained,head heavy for rest of day, tired, a excited, looked forward to getting information curious how inter pretation would be done,hoped it would help her sort some things out Continued to think about his life, recalled many more recol'tions felt dis couraged a-bout his life appr ehensive 'misgivings' cuz might get a 'far fetched in terpretation Found it beneficial to describe family in dividually, continued to 'mull' thoughts over interested to find out what was involved, hoped to find out something to help- her make decisions CHAPTER FIVE 135 TABLE 20 Reactions of Subjects E - H after Session 1 (Life style sections 1 through 3) Subjects Elaine Fiona Ginny Hal After Session 1 Antici-surprised felt dazed she talked and wandered about little around,felt things in her life so drained had to be driven home thought about her family and her husband's fam ily, 'lot of hate feelings', none from friend's compared her-home, diffi- self to her cult to cont- family, went inue normal 'down into a routine real depression 'felt different' looked for ward to se cond session cuz left up in the air after first one,hoped to get some an swers as to why she re-sponed the way she did during first session 'a little bit scared but ex cited ' , she wondered what more she might learn about herself 'felt better' coming to talk on a one-to-one basis rather than in group situation, felt scared— like a little girl, no reference is made to inter pretation none 'just a normal session' CHAPTER FIVE 136 life style analysis is not related to the experiences of any of the movies. Effect of the research questions The questions which were asked in regard to each section of the life style analysis tend to have the effect of heightening the experiences of the subjects. For example, when Betty talked about her parents during the life style analysis her eyes were moist but she did not cry. During the answering of the research questions regarding her feelings, physical sensations, and thoughts while discussing her parents she cried. Carl, while answering the research questions continued respond with new recollections as well as thoughts about his current relation ships. Fiona's reactions to the research questions are an even stronger demonstration of this effect. While talking about her parents, Fiona experienced an 'unreal' feeling. Later while answering the research questions the 'unreal' feeling became so intense that the investigator stopped asking the questions and brought Fiona's therapist into the session. Summary In this chapter the results of eight single case studies have been compared. From the comparisons the range of subjective experiences has been noted as well similarites and differences between subjects. From these results conclusions are drawn in Chapter six. CHAPTER SIX 137 CHAPTER SIX CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUMMARY Conclusions The eight single case studies as well as the comparison of those studies provide data from which the following apparent conclusions can be drawn. 1. Undergoing a life style analysis Can be an intense and power ful experience. All subjects experienced strong feelings during the procedure. All subjects experienced a variety of feelings, both positive and negative, however, the majority of the feelings experienced were negative with anger and sadness reported by six subjects. It is suggested that subjects with abusive childhood backgrounds may experience intense negative subjective exper iences while undergoing a life style analysis. Subjects Six (Fiona) and Seven (Ginny), had intensely negative subjective experiences while undergoing the life style analysis. 2. Asking subjects about the feelings they experienced during the life style analysis tends to have the effect of heightening those feelings, thus increasing the potency of the procedure. Subject Two (Betty) had tears in her eyes when discussing her parents and later cried when answering the research, questions in this section. Subject Number 3 (Carl) felt sad while talking about his mother during the data taking and cried when he responded to the research questions on this section. Subject Number 6 (Fiona) experienced an 'unreal' feeling while talking CHAPTER SIX 138 about her parents, which became very intense while answering the research questions. Subject Number 7 (Ginny) began to cry and be came more depressed when she responded to the research questions. 3. Subjects undergoing a life style analysis may have insights. Five subjects reported experiencing insights. One subject, (Amy) reported insights during all sections except the one on siblings. A feeling from an early recollection which is identical to the feeling an individual has about his or her current life circum stances may produce an intense insight. Subject Number 6 (Fiona) while discussing one of her early recollections connected the feeling in it to the feeling she has about her current life circumstances and this caused her to react strongly. 4. The subjective experiences of the data collection sections tend to differ from the subjective experiences of the interpre tation section. Subject Three (Carl) felt good discussing his childhood during the data collection sections, and discouraged with an upset stomach during the interpretation. Subject One (Amy) was very controlled during the data collection sections and uncontrolled in a positive way during the interpretation. Subject Seven (Ginny) became depressed during the data collection session and was very frightened during the interpretation. 5. All subjects described themselves as engrossed while under going the life style analysis, tending to become more engrossed as they proceded through the sections. Six subjects were en grossed thoughout all sections whereas two were engrossed during two and three sections respectively. Four subjects were observed CHAPTER SIX 139 to become more engrossed during the section on parents than the section on siblings. Subjects, with two exceptions, were more engrossed while relating their early recollections than during the sections on siblings or parents, and, with one exception, were more engrossed during working toward the interpretation than during any of the data collecting sections. 6. All eight subjects experienced unobservable physical sensa tions while undergoing the life style analysis. Subject One (Amy) felt her skin tighten; Subject Seven (Ginny) felt her parents grabbing at her legs; Subject Eight (Hal) felt con stricted during the data collection session and a tingling sensation during the interpretation. 7. All eight subjects reported thoughts about their past and present interpersonal relationships stimulated by the life style analysis. All subjects related family dynamics when they were children and their current relationships with their families of origin and current families. 9. Subjects tend to 'relive' childhood experiences while under going a life style analysis, particularly during the early recol lections. Six subjects spontaneously reported reliving experi ences, four of these experiences were during the section on early recollections. While relating the early recollections subjects tend to experience the same feelings and sensations as they experienced in the recollections. Subject Two (Betty) reported that she experienced feelings in the present which were identical to the feelings she had in the recollections. For six subjects CHAPTER SIX 140 the feelings they reported were feelings mentioned in the early recollections. Two subjects (Amy & Ginny) experienced the same physical sensations they experienced in an early recollection. Subject Three (Carl) vividly remembered the physical sensations but did not experience them. Implications and Questions for Future Research There are a number of implications for therapists teaching and using life style analysis which result from this study. Knowledge of these conclusions can prepare therapists and counsellors for the range of reactions of clients undergoing life style analysis. The intense reactions of several of the clients imply that those conducting life style analysis should be trained counsellors or therapists. Clinicians teaching life style analy sis to others need to inform trainees of the possible emotional impact on the client in order to prepare them to notice and deal with possible intense reactions. The results of this study also indicate that technique of life style analysis could benefit by the therapist asking clients to describe their experiences during the procedure. Collecting the life style data is more than a data gathering procedure; it creates feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, and may produce insights within the client. Working toward the interpretation tends to create subjective experiences which may differ in quality from those of the data collection session. During the life style analysis clients experience far more internally than they share with the therapist. For example, clients may appear detached or neutral toward the procedure when they are very CHAPTER SIX 141 involved in it. As a result the therapist may not be aware of the degree to which a client is affected, and perhaps distressed, by the process. Without this knowledge the therapist may unin tentionally leave a client traumatized after the data collection and interpretation sessions. In addition, by asking the clients about their subjective experiences therapists may deepen and increase the potency of the life style technique. Asking clients to relate the thoughts, feelings, and physi cal sensations they experience during the life style analysis, may help them to focus on the issues in their families which are most potent for them. This is an exploratory study and further research is needed to corroborate the results. There is some indication that undergoing a life style analysis may be a valid treatment for some forms of depression. Three subjects' therapists reported their subjects were less depressed as a result of participating in the life style analysis. Subject Number Two, with symptoms of crying all the time, reported she felt "happier". Subject Number One changed the focus in her therapy from discussion about her depression to problems she has with decision-making. Subject Number Seven experienced increased depression as a result of the data collection session but the depression was alleviated dramatically by the interpretation session. Life style analysis in the two session format may be a therapeutic technique to assist clients who are not progressing in therapy. After participation in this study, movement in therapy was reported by the therapists of five of the six CHAPTER SIX 142 subjects who had been in therapy for more than a year. There is indication that questions which focus on an indi vidual's phenomenological experiencing, for example Gestalt Therapy techniques, may be a beneficial adjunct to life style analysis. In this way an experiential approach could be incorporated with the cognitive approach; a powerful combination. If questions which focus on the internal experiences of clients tend to heighten the experiences produced by the life style anal ysis, research is needed to ascertain the affect and most appro priate use of Gestalt techniques in the life style procedure. The subjects of the study were two men and six women. Re search is needed to ascertain if men experience life style analysis differently than women. In this study four of the women mentioned their hopes that the life style analysis would help them, whereas one of the men (Carl) had misgivings about; the interpretation, and the other (Hal) had no expectations or hopes. This study examined the individual's experiences during the two sessions involved in the life style analysis procedure as well as reactions and responses between sessions. It did not examine the impact of the procedure from the individual's per spective immediately afterwards or on a short term or long term follow-up basis. Questions were asked of the subjects' therapists following the procedure but not of the subjects themselves. Further research is needed to ascertain short and long terra impact of the procedure, again from the individual's perspective. This study concerns a face-to-face interview technique of conducting life style analysis. Researchers are collecting life CHAPTER SIX 143 style information via written format without any knowledge of the effect of this procedure on the subjects. Research is needed to determine the impact of filling out a written form (SALSA OR SALSI). This study has certain implications for Adlerian theory. Exploring life style analysis from the individual's perspective gives support to the theory. "Individual Psychology asserts that humans not only need other humans, but they also need to be needed, to have a feeling of belonging." (Manaster & Corsini, 1982, p.47). This study supports this tenet. Subject Number Seven (Ginny) spontaneously declared: I feel like I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I feel lost. Knowledge of how she did belong, by being the 'good' one in the family, helped to alleviate her distress. Three other subjects (Betty, Carl, & Hal) spontaneously reported not belonging in terms of not fitting into the family. Subject Number Four (Donna) was able to understand her stubborn behavior when she realized the way in which it helped her belong in her family. Adlerian theory claims that "early memories are capsule summaries of one's present life philisophy" (Manaster & Corsini, 1982, p.186). Further support for the theory is demonstrated by Subject Six's (Fiona) strong reaction while she related one of her early recollections. The feeling from one ER was identical to the feeling she has about her current life circumstances. Feelings from Subject Seven's (Ginny) early recollections also related strongly to her current feelings. This is additional evidence that early recollections are related to current life CHAPTER SIX 144 circumstances. Janoe & Janoe (1979) outlined a method of discussing physical feelings and sensations which they found to be therapeutic. In this study asking subjects about their feelings, physical sensations, and thoughts, appears to support Janoe & Janoe in that positive change occurred for six subjects. Limitations of the Investigation The subjects in this study participated on a volunteer basis. This might affect the generalizability of the findings to clients who do not volunteer, if the response set of clients who volunteer differs from the response set of the general client population. This study involved subjects currently in therapy. This limits the generalizability of findings to clients in therapy and not to the general population. This study involved one therapist conducting the life style analysis. This might affect the generalizability of the findings to life style analysis conducted by other therapists and counsellors. This study was based on self-report and observational techniques. This may limit the results to the information the individuals are willing to reveal about themselves as well as to information about themselves of which they are aware. Subjects may have experienced feelings, sensations, and/or thoughts which they did not divulge or of which they were not aware and which were not observable to the investigator. The cued memory technique was used in order to conduct the life style analysis with minimal interference. However, the CHAPTER SIX 145 technique had the effect of expanding on the experiences of the subject, particularly immediately after the data collecting sessions. For example, Subject Number 5 (Elaine) spontaneously reported that she was expanding on her thoughts as the investi gator was cuing her back to them. Subject Number Seven (Ginny) spontaneously commented following the cuing procedure that when she talked about her childhood it was one thing, but when the investigator (using the subject's' own words) talked about it, it sounded 'so heavy'. This indicates that the research methods used in this study did alter the life style analysis and thus may affect the generalizability of the findings to life style analysis conducted without the cueing procedure. The answers the subjects gave to the questions regarding the degree to which they were engrossed or detached were ambiguous. For example, some subjects answered the question using 'quite' and 'more engrossed'. This limits the conclusions which can be drawn from this data. Summary Life style analysis is a major component of Adlerian psy chology. For Adlerians, life style analysis is necessary for understanding the individual in therapy and for reorientation in treatment. Thus it is important for clinicians and theorists to fully understand the technique. Development and research of the technique in the past has been and is currently from the clinician's point of view. In an attempt to further understand life style analysis, this study sought to explore the technique from another point of view—the CHAPTER SIX 146 individual's perspective. The objectives of this study were to answer the following questions : 1. What is the range of subjective experiences of individuals undergoing a life style analysis? 2. What is the subjective experience produced by various sections of the life style analysis? To accomplish these objectives a sample of eight subjects, who were currently in therapy in a Mental Health Clinic, participated in a life style analysis with the investigator. Information about their experiences was collected via a series of questions and a semantic differential following each segment of the life style analysis. Questions were also asked concerning the subjects' experiences between sessions. The eight single case studies were compared. In terms of the objectives of the study the results indicate that the experience of a life style analysis may range from very positive such as pleasant or best, to very negative such as very frightening. For the majority of individuals, the experience is a personally meaningful one which may be positive or negative in valence. The data collection sections tend to produce a different quality of experience from the interpretation section. Indivi duals tend to become increasingly more engrossed as they procede through the sections, experiencing physical sensations and feelings which may become very potent. 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Springfield, 111.: Charles C. Thomas, 1979. Kazdin, A.E. Drawing valid inferences from case studies. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 1981, vol.49, #2, 183-192. Kerlinger, F.N. Foundations of behavioral research. New York: Holt, Rinehar, & Winston, 1964. Kern, R. The life style inventory questionnaire, mimeograph, Georgia state University, 1976. Kopp, R.R. & Dinkmeyer, D. Early recollections in life-style assessment and counselling. The School Counselor, 1975, 23, Kvols-Reidler, K. & Kvols-Reidler, W. Pictorial mini life style: A method of democratic group psychotherapy. In L. Baruth & D. Eckstein (Eds.) Life style: Theory, practice, and research (2nd ed.). Dubuque, Iowa: Kendal/Hunt, 1978. Langs, R. Earliest memories and personality: A predictive study. Archives of General Psychiatry, 1965, 12, 379-390. REFERENCES 152 Langs, R. Stability of earliest memories under LSD and placebo. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 1967, 144, 171-184. Lewis, T. Gordon Liddy: A Life style analysis. Individual Psychology, 1983, 39, 3, 259-273. Lieben, B. Reading disability and life style: A case. Journal of individual psychology, 1967, 23, Lombardi, D. Eight avenues of life style consistency. The Individual Pychologist, 1973, 10, 5-9. Magner-Harris, J., Riordan, R., Kern, R. An investigation of the inter-judge agreement on a subject's vocational choice and life style type. In L.Baruth & D. Eckstein (Eds), Life style: Theory, Practise, and Research, (2nd ed.), Debuque, Iowa: Kendall/hunt, 1978. Magner-Harris, J., Riordan, R., Kern, R., & Curlette W. Reliability of life style interpretations. Journal of In dividual Psychology, 1979, 35, 2, 196-201. Manaster, G. & Corsini, R. Individual Psychology. U.S.A. Peacock Publishers, Inc., 1982. McCarter, R., Schiffman, H., & Tomkins, S. Early recollections as predictors of Thompkins-Horn Picture Arrangment Test performance, Journal of Individual Psychology, 1961, 17, 177-180. McAbee, H.V., & NcAbee, N.L. 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"The Willhite": A creative extension of the early recollection process. In L.Baruth & D. Eckstein (Eds.) Life Style: Theory, Practice, and Research (2nd ed.). Dubuque, Iowa: Kendall/Hunt, 1978. Wolfman, C, & Freidan, J. A symptom and its symbolic representation in earliest memories. Journal of clinical psychology, 1964, 20, 442-444. APPENDIX A 156 APPENDIX A Information given to therapists at the clinic to be used to inform their clients of the project. Bea Mackay is conducting a research project here at Delta Mental Health. The project is being supervised by Dr. Robert Armstrong of the Department of Counselling Psychology at U.B.C. She is seeking volunteers for her study. They are attempting to determine how individuals experience participating in a life style analysis. A life style analysis involves answering questions about your family and early childhood, and working troward an interpretation with the counsellor, Bea Mackay. The interpretation is an analysis of your approach to life situations and other people. Confidentiality will be maintained by assigning you a number and destroying your data at the end of the project, unless you agree to have the data entered into your file at Mental Health Clinic. The project would require 3-4 hours of your time, in two interviews approximately 1 week apart. There would be no payment or cost to yourself. Participation in the project is voluntary and you could withdraw at any time without prejudicing your counselling at Mental Health Clinic in any way. If you would be interested in volunteering for this project I will give Bea Mackay your phone number and she will call you. Feel free to ask her any questions you might have concerning the project. APPENDIX 157 APPENDIX B LETTER OF CONSENT PROJECT: What is the range of subjective experiences of people undergoing a life style analysis? Dear We are seeking your involvement in a study being carried out by myself and Dr. Robert Armstrong of the Department of Counselling Psychology at U.B.C. We are attempting to determine how individuals experience participating in a life style analysis. This involves answering questions about your family and early childhood., and working toward an interpretation with the investigator, Bea Mackay. The interpretation is an analysis of your approach to life situations and other people. Confidentiality will be maintained by assigning each individual a number and destruction of data at the end of the project. The project requires 3-4 hours of your time, in two inter views approximately 1 week apart. There is no payment or cost to yourself. We wish to emphasize that participation is voluntary and you may withdraw from the project at any time. Your withdrawal will not prejudice your counselling at MentaHealth Center in anyway. I invite you to ask any questions that you may have regarding the procedure. We would greatly appreciate your agreement to assist in this research. If this is aggreable to you, please sign below. Date: Subject's signature Thank you for your assistance. Sincerely, B.A. Mackay, M.A. Candidate Robert Armstrong, Ph.D. Project Supervisor, Dept. of Counselling Psychology,U.B.C. APPENDIX B 158 APPENDIX C RELEASE OF DATA I give my consent for the data and information collected during this research project to be entered into my file at Mental Health Center. Subject's name Date APPENDIX 159 APPENDIX D Life Style Interview Guide (Reproduced from Life Style: What It Is and How to Do It by Eckstein, D.; Baruth, L; and Mahrer, F.D., Dubuque, IA.: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 1978.) Write the name and age of each sibling (including yourself) in descending order beginning with the oldest. Include deceased siblings. When you have listed all the siblings, describe each sibling again including yourself. Sibling 1 Sibling 2 Sibling 3 Name: Name: Name: Age: Age: AgeDescription: Description: Description: Sibling 4 Name: Age: Description: Sibling 5 Name: Age: Description: Sibling 6 Name: Age: Description: Further Sibling Descriptions In relation to your family answer the questions below as accur ately as possible. Who was most different from you? How? If you are an only child, in your peer group who was the most different from you? How? Who was most like you? How? APPENDIX 160 Did you have many or few friends? Describe your relationship with them. Who fought and argued? Who played together? Who took care of whom? Who had a handicap or prolonged illness? What were the most important family values? What was your family motto? Siblings Ratings Following each adjective or description indicate which siblings demonstrated that characteristic most and least. If you are at neither expreme, show in which direction you were inclined by pointing an arrow. An example might be: Characteristic: Most Least Idealistic Sam > Rachel This would indicate that regarding idealism, Sam was most ideal istic, Rachel was least idealistic, and you tended to be on the least idealistic end of the continuum. If you are an only child, rate yourself in comparison to your peer group you associated with as a child. These ratings should focus on your personal opinion of your family situation during the first eight years of your life. Now respond to each of the following characteristics: Characteristic Most Least 1. Intelligence 2. Hardest Worker 3. Best Grades in School APPENDIX 161 Characteristics cont.: Most Least 4. Helping around the House 5. Conforming 6. Rebellious 7. Trying to Please 8. Critical of Others 9. Considerateness 10. Selfishness 11. Having Own Way 12. Sensitive-Easily Hurt 13. Temper Tantrums 14. Sense of Humor 15. Idealistic 16. Materialistic 17. Standards of Accomplishment 18. Most Athletic 19. Strongest 20. Attractive 21.Spoiled 22. Punished 23. Spontaneous Description of Parents Father Current Age Occupation: Father's Favorite? Why? Ambitions for children? Description of Father: Relationship to children? Sibling most like father? How? Mother Description of Mother: Current Age: Occupation: Mother's Favorite? Why? Ambitions for children? Relationship to chilren? Sibling most like mother? How? APPENDIX 162 Describe the nature of your parent's relationship. If there were other parental figures in your family, describe the effect they have had on your outlook on life. Early Recollections Think back as far as you can and describe the first specifie in cident that you remember. Describe what feeling you had at that time. Make sure it is a specific situation and not a generaliza tion. When you have completed the information for the first in cident, do the same with the second situation. Try to do this for at least five or six incidents. If you had a recurring dream when you were a child, describe the dream and discuss how you felt. First Incident: Description: Your feeling: Second Incident: Description: Your Feeling: nth Incident: Description: Your feeling: Recurring Dream: Description: Your feeling: APPENDIX 163 APPENDIX E SEMANTIC DIFFERENTIAL RATING SHEET Subject No. 1 Concept Personally Meaningful Movie very quite some neutral some quite very what what cold x hot 6 passive  active 7 fair x unfair 1 happy  unhappy 1 heavy x light 7 strong x weak 7 bad x good 3 delicate x rugged 2 small x large 4 dull  sharp 5 calm x agitated 1 fast x slow 5 Activity: 6, 7, 5, 5, = 23 Average : : 5 .75 Potency: 7, 7, 2, 4, = 20 Average : : 5 .0 Evaluative: 1, 1, 3, 1, = 6 Average : : 1 .5 APPENDIX APPENDIX F 164 Sample of D Statistic Analysis - Linear Distance Subject Number 1 Title of Movie: Personally Meaningful . Movie Sibling (X (I)-X (J)~2 Linear Rating Rating Distance Activity Scales 1 6 5 1 2 7 5 4 3 5 1 16 4 5 2 9 30 5.48 Potency Scales 5 7 5 4 6 7 1 36 7 2 1 9 8 4 1 9 50 7.07 9 1 3 4 10 1 4 9 11 3 4 1 12 1 1 0 14 3.74 Combined Score 94 9.7 APPENDIX 165 Appendix G Subject Number 1 - Amy Transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicate pauses in the dialogue) Section on Siblings: / Investigator (Inv.)> "As you were talking about your siblings and Amy, "I was engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "A lot of anger (clears throat) I also felt very anxious and confused at times—like confused what to answer—like could be something else, especially with the comparison. Inv, "That was hard to do. That was confusing for you as to what, to answer." Amy, "Um hum. I felt comfortable telling you about it, which usually I don't. Inv., "Usually it's hard for you to talk about it but it was OK with me." Amy, "Um hum. But I would say it was a lot of anger." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "It was interesting to—cuz I actually went back in that age and I usually^don't think about it. (clears throat) So it was interesting going back and .. seeing great big brothers over you." Inv., "They were pretty big and you were pretty little." Amy, "It was my attitude. Like now my attitude--we're on the same level. But just thinking about it I got really small. yourself how engrossed or detached were you? APPENDIX 166 Section on Parents: Inv., "As you talked about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Amy, "I was more engrossed when we were talking about my mother." Inv.,"What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "There was sadness when. I talked about my father and when I was talking about my mother uh sort of a recent anger that I have so I'd say it was a confusion of feelings." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "I was interested that I said my father was fat, (laugh) cuz I never would say that before." Inv., "What's changed for you now? What makes it different that you could say it now but wouldn't before?" Amy, "Cuz I never thought that he was fat before." Inv., "Did you learn anything from that?" Amy, "No." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., When you were talking about the early recollections, how engrossed or detached were you?" Amy, "I was very engrossed like probably mostly in this section than the others." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Amy, All of them? Anger again. Basically with both parents— like how could they be so naive to not know what's going on. (Pause) And all these demands put on me and I had no reason to do it. I had no motive to want to do it." (Pause) I APPENDIX 167 guess the feeling there is a group of statements—why should I? (laughter) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Amy, "At one time my heart was beating really quickly. Inv., "Do you remember the time that that was?—What you were talking about when that was happening?" Amy, "I think it was (clears throat) the one where I had to go outside in the It was the snowball fight." Inv., "When you knew your brothers were waiting there for you and you were forced to go?" Amy, "Um hum." Inv., "Any other physical sensations you experienced?" Amy, "Embarrassed." Inv.,"Where did that feel inside your body?" Amy, "Sort of—my skin kind of tightened up." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, "How frightened I was then." Inv., "Any other thoughts or insights?" Amy, "Yeah. I learned it would have been so easy not to have listened. It was my own self that made me do these things— to take it." Inv., "You learned to see your own part in what was happening to you." Amy, "That I really didn't have to be in a neutral state all the time. I could have just decided I'm not going out there, (laugh) But at the time I didn't know there was an option." Inv., So that's what you learned, that there were options you APPENDIX 168 just didn't realize there were. if Amy, "Yeah it Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Amy, "As a matter of fact I did. There were a lot of differences I would have made." Inv., "Answering, differently?" Anticipation before Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together toward an interpreta tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that? Amy, "I was very excited about it." (laughter) Inv., "Excited?" Amy, "Yeah." Inv., "Can you help me understand how that was for you to be excited?" Amy, "Um For a long time I've wondered, you know,--first of all I don't even know the outcome of .. how you're even going to interprete this but um .. I was—I was excited that there would be a—some information that would help, you know,--that I'd been waiting for—for years cuz most counsellors never give you a .... a result, it's sort of an ongoing thing." Inv.,"You looked forward to getting some answers for a change." Amy, "Oh yeah, yeah." Amy , "Right. II APPENDIX 169 Inv., "So it was like feeling hopeful that you'll maybe get some information that you've been wanting for a long long time." Amy, "Right." Interpretation process: Amy, "Well I think that you did a really good job. (clears throat) cuz I've seen counsellors for a long time and they haven't put it together, I mean, you know, not even close, so everything that you said I would uh was really good." Inv., "What about the powerful emotions?" Amy, Um .... They must be there. .. Again, you know, I can see how it makes sense, even though I don't feel it— I don't have the evidence of it but uh and I can see that too." Inv., "My guess is that you're just so out of touch with those emotions that that's why you don't feel them—where you don't connect with that idea although I see it running all through the material. I see it as a theme, the powerful emotions running through the material." "How engrossed or detached were you when we were going through this process?" Amy, "I would say very engrossed. Cuz usually I'm very conscious of what I'm saying and retracting before I'm going to say it and this time it was almost like I was free to think and say anything. So I had to be very engrossed." Inv.,"That was new for you?" Amy, "Yeah." APPENDIX 170 Inv., "This time you felt like it was safe to say what you felt and thought—that it was going to be believed." Amy, "Not believed. I don't think that's it. I think it's more of un (pause) What's the word?—lost—like lost in my thoughts to the point that I was saying things that I wouldn't normally say, sort of like if you get drunk or something." Inv., "You were that engrossed that you would get totally lost in your thoughts. What feelings did you experience?" Amy, "Lot of embarrassment more than anything." Inv., "Embarrassment?" Amy, "Because of saying things that I wouldn't normally say (small quiet laugh) and you would hit on something that really was true I—I felt like um .. wanting to hide-feeling like um oh no it's been exposed and—and .. that scared feeling and uh so I'd say that was over all, you know. Inv.,"Did you have any physical sensations?" Amy, "Yeah, my heart was beating (pause) pretty quickly. Inv., "Was it throughout or at any particular time?" Amy, "Well more this half than the other half .. cuz this was really being .... whatever (laugh)." Inv., "Exposed?" Amy, "Exposed, yeah." Inv., Any other physical sensations?" Amy, That's the only thing I noticed." Inv.',"You mentioned last week when you felt embarrassed your skin APPENDIX 171 got tight, Did that happen to you? (Amy, "Un hum") Did that happen this time?" Amy, "Oh yeah." Inv., "When you felt embarrassed your skin got tight." Amy, "Um hum." Inv., "While you were going through the interpretation process, did you have any thoughts or insights?" Amy, Um ... yeah I would say a big one was .. that I—that I manage to recreate the same boundries all the time." Inv.,"Can you help me understand what you mean by that?" Amy, "The boundries of being around people who stifle me and staying away from people who I feel free with. I noticed that by comparing my father and my husband together." Inv., "Had you ever done that before? Had you ever sort of realized how they compare to each other? Amy, "Well T (therapist) went through that with me but I didn't really see it, you know. She said that very definitely, and when she's definite I'm usually (laugh)--no way—(laughter) just for the fun of it. Inv., "You connected it yourself for the first time. (Amy, "Uh huh.") Was there anything that enabled you to connect that?" Amy, "I think it was the honesty--the honesty of sharing, you know openly, which I usually don't cuz I--I keep a lot (pause) in." Inv., "Sharing honestly with whom?" Amy, "With you. It made me see honestly what was happening and um also this is a very good time .. in my life to do APPENDIX 172 this test that I wouldn't have done maybe a month ago cuz I get exhausted with the whole thing, you know, the repetition and I was ready to face things." Inv.," You were ready to be honest." Amy, "Well not so much honest. But I was not as—not as worried as—as worried that I was taking up peoples' time and feeling pressure like that That's usually why I don't elaborate on things. APPENDIX 173 Appendix H Subject Number 2 - Betty Transcribed from audio-tape. ( in text indicate pauses ) Section on siblings: Investigator (Inv.), "As you talked about your siblings and yourself how engrossed or detached were you?" Betty, "I thought I was very engrossed. Inv., "You were very engrossed? Betty "Yeah" Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "I sort of felt kind of sad because I—I feel like I'm .. sort of I don't know maybe not included or something like--I feel that Norm and Esther are sort of brother and sister ... and I'm sort of on the outside." Inv., "You felt sort of separate from them." Betty, "Separate, yeah, right." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations or reactions?" Betty, "Just like I wanted to cry. I felt that way." Inv.,"What thoughts or insights did you have as you talked about yourself and your siblings?" Betty, "I sort of feel I guess that I was sort of the ... I can't think of the right words—sort of the groundbreaker for all—for everything because, you know, you're the first one so you do all the things then your Mom and Dad sort of learn and so it's easier for them I think." APPENDIX 174 Inv., "You were sort of like a pioneer. (Betty,"Yeah") broke the trail for the others." Betty,"Yeah, I think so. I felt that way. I feel mixed feelings like I'd like to know them better—like to be closer to them especially my brother. I feel like, you know, if anything happened to him and somebody came and asked me, I wouldn't know about him, you know." Inv., "What other thoughts or insights did you have if any?" Betty, "I don't feel like we'll ever get to know each other any better. I feel that way." Inv., "How does that make you feel?" Betty, "Well it doesn't make me feel very good cuz it's kind of nice to have .. family I think but I guess you have to learn to live with it, you know, the way things are some times and you have to accept it and once you accept it I think you'd probably be better for it really to accept that that's the way it's going to be .. and under—rather than getting upset about it because they don't come to dinner or they don't do what you'd like them to do or whatever. I think if you could accept it you--I'd probably be a happier .. person .. to live without." Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you.?" Betty, "I think very engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "A bit of anger I think, a bit of sadness ... frustra-APPENDIX 175 ted I guess • • • • feeling um I don't know if I felt rejected or set aside or—I don' t know something— something like that." Inv., "What physical sensations or reactions did you have?" Betty, I felt sort of warm, ray body sort of " Inv., "Did that feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Betty, "No, just all over." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you talked about your parents?" Betty, (crying) "Oh I just feel that yeah they probably thought they were doing the best that they could do but, you know, I guess I was brought up with children are seen and not heard type of thing and that's the way they are, you know. Felt that's how they'd bring up kids too I guess." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you talked about the early recollections how engrossed or detached were you?" Betty, "I felt like I was there." Inv., "Can you help me understand what it was like for you to be right there?" Betty, "Sort of felt, you know, sort of fidgety and, you know know, either sad or upset or afraid." Inv., "What physical sensations did you experience?" Betty, "At first just when you talking about .. running away, my roller skates and everything I felt fine, calm, but then as sort of made me feel like how I felt then, you APPENDIX 176 I got on to the dreams and everything I could feel myself getting more and more agitated and I could feel myself getting warmer, and more sort of uptight and " Inv., "And that warmness was it all over like you described before?" Betty, "Yeah." Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have?" Betty, " That I seem to always seem to get upset about everything. Like it seemed like .. it seemed like everything bothered me—like I couldn't just pass anything off as--that happened, that's too bad, forget about it. It seems like everything's important." Inv., "You know that it still bothers you now (Betty, "Yeah"). You can't sort of—it happened and accept it (Betty,"That's right"). You still get upset about it now." Reactions Between sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Betty, "I think I felt sort of emotional from it a bit, I went home and my head was kind of heavy for the rest of the day, I felt like I'd really been ... uh ... you know, sort of how you feel after a big exam (little laugh) you sort of feel sort of drained, cuz I know I felt quite tired for the rest of the day so I guess it was probably a bit of a ... maybe a strain. I didn't--I didn't feel that way when I was answering the questions. I felt they--they sort APPENDIX 177 of came easily to me but I 11 Inv., "It was afterwards you felt (Betty, "Yeah, I felt sort of drained") emotionally drained." Betty, "Yep". Inv., "Was there any other reaction?" Betty, "Actually (laughing) I didn't think it was quite as bad as it was going to be. I sort of enjoyed answering the questions. It brought back some memories I hadn't thought of in quite a while." Anticipation of Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together toward an interpre tation. How did you feel about coming here today to do that?" Betty, "Well I'm .. sort of .. kind of curious in a way how it--how it—how you're going to interpret it and how it's sort a—how you're goin'a see .. how— how it all fits together maybe-- maybe it might—I'm really looking forward to— hoping it's going to help me .. be able to work on, you know, sorting some things out." Inv., "There's a feeling of hope there that this is going to give you some answers that will help you." Betty, "Sort of give me some ideas to start working on you know." Interpretation Process: Inv., "How engrossed or detached were you when we were going through that process?" APPENDIX 178 Betty, "Oh well, I would say I was right in there." Inv., "What feelings did you experience? There were tears and sadness." Betty, "I think a bit of understanding, insight .. I think I .. feel a little more of maybe um .. I think maybe you sometimes, you know, it's there but you can't— you don't want to admit it or you don't .. really want .. to see it." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Betty, "Sort of felt maybe understood a little bit more, maybe I can't—I can't--I'm not very good--". Inv., "That's OK. Whatever comes." Betty, "I felt like saying 'hey yeah that's exactly how I feel, like you know, especially when you first said that one word, you said bind, and I think that—that, you know, that was the first, you know, I thought ... cuz I was trying to have an open mind when you said that not everything might not fit. But when you said that word I felt that—that .. I sort of felt with a few things that you said that, you know, that—that—that's how I FEEL." Inv., "That's right on. (Betty,"Right on, yeah) Bind that was one word that really fit for you. (Betty, "um hum") You feel that you're in a bind. Can you tell me about the tears? Why they were coming and what they were saying?" Betty, (Subject begins to cry again) "I feel bad .....cuz I think that ray Mora and Dad really love me (Subject crying more now) I think they'd be hurt if APPENDIX 179 they know how I felt." Inv., "You'd feel you were letting them down." (Subject nods) Betty, "Sometimes I feel mad at them and .. upset because I think that (pause) I blame them sometimes but ... when I look at myself as a parent like, you know, you have to look at how they were brought up and how their parents were and everything too, and that's why they--they act like they do too I guess. I feel really sorry for ray Dad because I think he's a really frustrated person and I think that .... I think I've known that for a long time, you know, for many years. I can't deal with if because I can't say anything to him, you know." Inv., "You can't reach him." Betty, "I think in some ways too, I'd like to uh I think it would be better for me to live further away really, I think it would." Inv., "I get the impression you're trying very hard to be a very good daughter, but somehow you also feel that you can never be the best, can never be more than adequate." Betty, "I find that—yeah—I find that I'm always under scrutiny, I guess, like it doesn't matter what I do with the kids or, you know, we have our son in racing. Of course my Dad, he doesn't approve of that at all, my Mom doesn't say too much, you know. She asks him because he's happy about it but he wins trophys but they wont go .. see any of the races, APPENDIX 180 he doesn't approve of that at all, my Mom doesn't say too much, you know. She asks him because he's happy about it but he wins trophys but they wont go .. see any of the races, you know, I mean that's their—I don't mind, it's just that I feel they're letting Harvey (son) down." Inv.,"And that lets you down cuz he's part of you. (Subject, "Yea") So you try very hard to be a good daughter but you can't help feeling let down by them." Betty,(crying) "Even to go over for a dinner (crying more) I just sit on the edge of the chair the whole time I'm there because ... the kids do something wrong or they make too much noise or " Inv., "You're waiting for the criticism to come, expecting it. You care for you're parents, you care for the kids, and you're caught in the middle." Betty, "Like I don't even want to go anymore." Inv., "Well it sounds like an ordeal not an enjoyable time." Betty, "Not for me anyway. I know the kids like it but—." Inv., "What physical sensations did you experience? Betty, "I feel a little bit relieved ... cuz I know it's all in there Feel it's sort of, you know, bring it too a head. I think you can maybe sort of deal with it or, you know, what's there so " Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have? You mentioned some insights, could you tell me what they were?" Betty, (lets out a big breath) I don't think I can remember what I said I think I've understood for a long time APPENDIX 181 a lot of things cuz I know I catch myself doing things that I don't want to do that because I know .. that I didn't like that as a child yeah... and I try to, you know, .. a lot of things that I don't know how I can control myself, I find myself like yesterday I as—I almost felt like phoning here because I felt like—I really felt like I was going to abuse Robin (daughter). ... I really did. I just was., so upset and so angry .. over nothing .... and it's not her fault .. I mean, you know, what should she have to .. so I know—I want to deal with that, I want to deal with—my .... why—why I'm like that." Inv., "Why you get so angry and so frustrated and so upset and you want to change that (pause) because you don't want Robin to suffer." Betty, "No. And I don't want her to be like that when—I don't want her to have problems .. when she gets older." Inv., "Is there anything else?" Betty, "No" APPENDIX 182 Appendix I Subject Number 3 - Carl Transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicates pauses) Section on Siblings: Investigator,"As you were talking about your siblings and yourself how engrossed or detached were you? Carl, "As you were speaking, I was thinking back, picturing each individual in my mind as youngster. I'm just going back to the picture of after my Dad's funeral. What you described, it seems very fitting, there are no changes there. I feel I'm still very involved with my family. I know we had very close ties when we were younger. We try to keep the same way now except for Peter, which is unfortunate." Inv.,"I guess I'm looking for when you were talking about them, how engrossed were you in talking about them, or how detached did you feel talking about them?" Carl, "I felt very close." Inv., "Close? To them?" Carl, "Yes, I think so." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Carl, "The good old days, (laugh) The way they were. Also I was making a mental....what they are like now." Inv.,"Comparing them." Carl, "Comparatively speaking they are the same except for Peter, course cuz he's changed a lot..cuz of his religion. Inv., "What feelings did you experience inside,of you as you talked about your siblings?" APPENDIX 183 Carl, "I felt good thinking about them. I do miss my family. I don't have any family here in so all I can do right now is think about them. I sort of envy Betty (wife) when she can pick up the phone and phone her mother. I couldn't do that any more." Inv., "What feeling comes inside of you when you think that you're not able to contact them?" Carl, "I sort of miss them, you know. Used to sit around the table, tell stories, have a hell of a good time." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations as you talked about your brothers and sisters?" Carl, (Sigh) "Feeling of melancholy sometimes." Inv., "What thoughts or insights did you have?" Carl, "I didn't—(chuckle) I didn't have time to think about it. I just—going back, the days were all fun and my mind was working like a computer sort of tape to find each characteristic that came along to each individual member of the family." Section on Parents: Inv., "As you talked about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" Carl, "Well I was trying to stick with the facts as I have them um.... without trying to get emotionally involved." Inv., "You tried to keep yourself uninvolved." Carl, "That's right." Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" APPENDIX 184 Carl, "I wish I would have known more of my family background that I have, (pause) and I feel that uh something was left out of my life, and it's difficult to be a father if you never had one. (laugh) In that way, you know, I tell you the best I can." Inv., "You had the feeling of missing out on something." Carl, "Well I do. I feel sorry for my mother cuz she had more ambitions than just being a farmer's wife. She had no choice. I remember she told me one time that when the wedding was arranged she wasn't very, you know, anxious about it and Grandfather said to her 'you can go anytime you want but leave the clothes on you, on your back right here. Go the way you came in this world.' He was very un compromising to her." Inv., "How did that feel inside your body?" Carl, "Well it was a case of the good guys verses the bad guys.. and this case the bad guys won out--my grandfather. It was rather unjust I think." Inv., "What physical sensation did that give you?" Carl, "Well I get a little angry, a little hostile." Inv., "And where did that anger and hostility feel inside your body?" Carl, (chuckle) "I don't know, (quiet voice) It makes me have little tears for my Mom." Inv. , "Right now?" Carl, "Yeah. Thinking what she must have gone through." APPENDIX 185 Inv., "It brings tears to your eyes to think of what your Mom had to go through." Carl, "Yes." Inv.," Any other physical sensations or reactions you might have had?" Carl, "It would be rather unjust of course and it made me lose all respect for my grandfather." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Carl, "I kinda wish she had a better life rather than what she did but those were the way the times were and you had to do with what you got but maybe because of that..I..I tried to do a lot of things for her when I got older. Went on a trip to Jamaica. I took her— first time she had ever been any— where. And Betty (wife) and I took her to Hawaii, you know, different places other than to Banff or Calgary or wherever, you know....had great times together." Inv., "Trying to make up--" Carl, "Yes, at what she didn't have. What I could do for her the best way I can with what limited funds I had." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "How engrossed or detached were you as you related the early recollections?" Carl, "Well I sort of reliving them (laughing) as I was going to each detail. Yes, yeah, I can still picture all those things." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Carl, "Well it was a mixed emotion I had I would think it's be--APPENDIX 186 spirit of helplessness, joy, warmth—felt the good and the bad. I guess that's the way life is, you get some good and some bad. Have to learn to take it as it comes and adjust with it." Inv.,"Did you have any physical sensations?" Carl, "Nothing really other than going into the TV screen of my mind to recall these things and to re live them again the same sensations I gave you before, you know, trying to run up the hill and your feet like they are a ton a piece and you can hardly move." Inv., "As you were talking about that did you feel that in your feet, your feet feeling like a ton?" Carl, "Yeah, I could not actually feel it here but I could feel it it in my dream or recall it." Inv., "Any other physical sensations or reactions you remember having?" Carl, "Yeah. I picture the sun and the warmth that it had on my back." Inv., "How did that feel inside your body?" Carl, "It felt nice." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Carl, "After I described all those things to you, you know, as I said before it's life, you get your good and you get your bad, and you have to learn to take it." Inv., "Did you learn anything talking about your early recollections?" Carl, "Nothing really more that I hadn't before. I didn't see APPENDIX 187 any hidden meanings, It's just the way things were and I tried to tell you as it was." Inv., "What about the time when we talked about the tantrum that you had and the horses kicking and the beating your Mom gave you compared to the beating your stepfather gave the horses? Carl, "Well I hate to see anything being abused whether it's human or animal. Grant you I go and hunt ducks once in a while, but I don't abuse them. (chuckle) in that sense of the word." Inv., "Did you learn anything talking about that recollection?" Carl, "Yeah, I think so. One thing about the beating I was a very stubborn kid. Um I was very head strong and I think that broke my spirit in some respect—I don't know why— but I think it did cuz I used to have a lot of ambitions that I think back about I think maybe that's what did it. sometimes I have an idea..I think about it.. I got it in my mind., and I don't do anything about it. There's a few things I thought about., over the past ten years and just recently someone else invented it. (chuckle) Sort of ahead of my time and yet I sort of kick myself because if I ... had more ambition, or my spirit wasn't broken or what ever the case may be--maybe it's just me—I could have done something about it." Inv., "You feel you've lost out in some way." Carl, "Yeah that's right." "I know sometimes our kids are like that too, my little one is like me, the way I look at him he does that too, APPENDIX 188 sometimes he gets mad and he wants to hit out at you, you know, and I try to be a little more tolerant with him than maybe Mom was with me but them I probably deserved it, so I try to go about it in another way if I can. (laugh) Some times not easy I know. I can see it in him." Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session? Carl, "Well I did, uh after I got home and uh, Betty (wife) and I sort of talked about it just generally, not to any great detail. I thought back of other things that came to my mind, you know, like--like a snowball reaction, you—you— you start with one and you get another memory, amother memory, another memory, you know. I could have given you a thousand of them I guess." Inv.,"The memories that you did give me triggered more memories." Carl, "Oh gosh yeah, most definitely, both good and bad." Inv., "Um hum, any other reactions you had?" Carl, "Well I don't, other than, you know, facts is facts and uh it was with some emotion, the good stuff and the bad stuff a well. That's all I can really tell you at this time." Inv., "Today we are going to work together towards an interpre tation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Carl, "Well (laughter) a little misgivings. I don't know, Um I thought back about it—what I've told you. And uh this is the way my life was and there's nothing I could change, APPENDIX 189 you know, for the better or for the worse. That's the way it was and that's it. And I sometimes think that some of these interpretations—depending who does it--get another point of view that you never look at and they're sometimes a little far-fetched too." Inv., "You have misgivings about what—how the interpretation might turn out." Carl, "That's right, yeah but if it's your interpretation I think you--you prob—I have a lot of confidence in you, personally. Because whenever we used to have talks with Betty and I, you included, you seemed to know my... thoughts and feelings....just as well as I could but you could express them better than I could too.....So the correlation was very good there." Interpretation Process: Inv.,"How engrossed or detached were you as we worked through that process?" Carl, "Well I tried to keep to the facts, you know, as much as I could." Inv.,"Here we're not talking about facts. Here we're talking about—I was asking you some questions and we were working together toward an interpretation. When we were doing that, were you engrossed in it or detached from it?" Carl, "I think I was engrossed in it, yes." Inv., "So, would you say very, somewhat-." Carl, "I would say ver—top of the list there." APPENDIX 190 Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Carl,"Well, I felt a little angry... not at you-." Inv.,"No, I realize that." Carl,"But uh myself and at life." Inv.,(clarifying) "At yourself, and at life?" Carl,"yeah I'd like to improve on it, but where do you start, sort of thing." Inv.,"Did that anger feel anywhere in particular in your body?" Carl,"Yeah, I feel very hurt about it I feel sort of sad about it too. It's not an anger anger, it's a slow burning one, you know." Inv., "Hurt anger." Carl, "Yes." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Carl,"My stomach's a little upset, butterflies, and that's not-very seldom I have it. A little sad (pause) in a lot of way I think back, since the last session, sort of reflect on my life and—a wasted life in some ways. Weighing things I'd like to do—like to have done—to what I have done and uh it's like this." Inv., "It makes you really sad that your ambitions in life-" Carl, "Don't match my...." Inv., "What you've achieved doesn't measure up to what you wanted to achieve." Carl, "Exactly, yeah." Inv., "Did you have any other thoughts or insights?" Carl, "Yeah (sigh) While I was thinking about being excluded APPENDIX 191 and it wasn't by choice .. um I've learned to adapt it to my way of life ....... I don't know whether that's good or bad or not And yet I feel I can—I could have con tributed a lot in both cases, you know, various ways, if given the chance And when I think about it the same thing with my job too. Think back over all the different areas that I applied for and I studied hard, took night school, uh did a lot of things in my own spare time, devised various ways and still not get anywhere and I could have really given 150% ..to my work but because of--of being excluded is the word that goes I guess or left out um I approach my work differently now than I used to. I do it. But I don't have the same enthusiam, like loyality or anything else. This is why I try to find a lot of things .. outside .. of work .. to do. Things that I could do where—I think a lot of people in our business are the same way too. They go there, get their pay so they do something when they get home." Inv., "Something they enjoy." Carl, "That's right, exactly." Inv.,"Your whole attitude toward your job has shifted because you felt excluded." Carl,"Yeah, over the years, yes very much so." Inv.,"Not being able to get the position and jobs (Car1,"That's right.") that you wanted even though you'd studied and worked for them." Carl,"And, you know, I felt adequately qualified, you know." APPENDIX 192 Inv.,"But the people in the posi—(Carl,"Position of power.") picking people (Carl,"That's right.") didn't pick you. (Carl,"Yeah") They left you sitting on the sidelines. Carl,"That's right." (Carl gives an example of applying for a particular job and being turned down.) Inv.,"It's something that's happened over your years, that the potential that you have is just not being realized in various areas in your life, in your job, and perhaps in your marriage as well. Carl, "Yeah, so I'm just giving up a bit after a while, you know, ....like bumping your head against a wall, you bang, and bang and bang and after a while you give up and walk away." APPENDIX 193 APPENDIX J Subject Number 4 - Donna transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicates pauses) Section on Siblings: Investigator: "When you were talking about your siblings and yourself, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna: "I found that I was quite detached, urn....in fact, almost-quite, quite detached." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "A lack of really knowing them a lot, you know..I felt that maybe I didn't know them as well as I should.... although I have a clear vivid picture of each one of them I don't really know their sort of emotional sort of beings that well." Inv., "What feelings went with the thoughts that you really didn't know them that well?" Donna, "Um...none really." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, "Um only a couple I think..one was a bit of warmth to John and with Sally I'm—I'm not sure—I don't know..sort of a mixed up feeling with Sally cuz I'm—probably cuz I'm going—used to think she was the greatest and now it's changing..um... Inv., "That mixed up feeling, did it feel anywhere in particular in your body?" Donna, "Um....(laugh) seems to hit my shoulder, my--my shoulder., it's quite funny." APPENDIX 194 Inv., " I notice you have your hand on your chest." Donna, "Yeah, yeah shoulder low—you know, not really the heart..funny feeling..really (laugh) heavy on the right shoulder isn't that funny." Inv., "Did that feel anywhere inside your body?" Donna, "Um...no most—mainly intellectual feeling." Inv., "The warmth you felt toward John, did that feel in any particular place in your body?" Donna, "Um...sort of from the heart...(laugh) isn't that funny (laugh) I..never..really thought of it before but, you know, the whole left half really--it—like--you, know just a warmth." Inv., "Interesting." Donna, "It really is funny! (laugh) Haven't felt that before." Inv., "Did you have any thought or insights." Donna, "About myself, or?" Inv., "About yourself or your siblings or.." Donna, "Um..yeah..I think I did like..when I said, you know, like, um, Mom and Dad's philosophy, you know, family's philosophy like 'do unto others as you would have do unto you...and more.' Uh, I think...it sort of, uh—left a lot of us all high and dry cuz....I don't know, that sort of gives me a funny feeling..even putting it into words. Like..not that I mind doing..things for other people but I — I really think that...came across..really strongly and I think it was sort of.... indicating a self-sacrificing.... attitude or, or behavior which I hadn't..really thought APPENDIX 195 about before..and then going through that..I realized that that's exactly what came across..a lot of us are..self-sacrificing. . like even, even..I wouldn't say we'd, we'd damage ourselves..physically but—mentally or intellectually, um, probably did." Inv., "You might put yourself aside for someone else." Donna, "Right. Well I know that's not..really a very healthy way to—to go about it, you have to be like owe yourself first., and then, so you can deal with somebody else in a..good frame., of mind and I—I think we're all sort of, um almost revengeful of that, like--it's funny, that's—that's sort of how I feel--that we're all really—kind of don't know where we are, just know that we have to, you know, do all this for everybody else..don't know, that's funny, funny feeling. Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna, "Um I think I was probably..engrossed with that." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "Um regret I think...no um.....1 don't really think I had any... feeling..other than numb..understood a lot more now than I did...when I was younger." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, "No." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Donna, " ...no only that—only that fact that I think, you know, APPENDIX 196 it would have..done a lot better if they could have communicated. Uh only I wished they had—had of been able to communicate... verbally a bit better but nothing else. Sections on Early Recollections: Inv., "When you were relating your early recollections, how engrossed or detached where you?" Donna, " Um.....I think I was probably..um... detached from them." Inv., "Detached?" Donna, "Um hum. That's only because I've—I've discussed them a bit before." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "Um actually um..I thought there was quite...um ironical really that I shoul... think that they were...sort of... devastating before. I used to think they were really., terrible terrible . .acts , you know, especially stealing the banana., and now I can actually laugh about it...and the other ones " Inv., "You think that's because you've talked about them before?" Donna, "Um I think so, yes." Inv., "So now they seem different to you." Donna, " Um hum. They seem sort of like little... sort of—almost an innocent... act, you know, rather than..the end of the world. And the other ones I think..well the other..the one about the drawing I'm....to this day I still don't draw. And I don't even think I attempt to draw because of it, um but I'm—I'm starting to..experiment a little bit but not.. APPENDIX 197 not very..not very much, you know, in the—the drawing, I just.. can *t... bring myself to put something on paper..and I'm sure it's because of—of that..that it sort a......" Inv., "And did you have any physical sensations or reactions when we were talking about the early recollections?" Donna, "um...no really....I related... you know, the stealing of the banana with...my son's attempt at... stealing something too and I thought, you know, really I should... remember how—how uh... difficult that was for me...and remember for when—if—if he does it." Inv., "As a parent." Donna, "Which I thought was quite good because um...as a parent you sometimes forget that you did some of those things like a kid too." Inv., "So you weren't aware of any physical sensations?" Donna, "Um hum." Inv., "Did you have any other thoughts or insights?" Donna, "No, I don't think so." Between Sessions: Inv., " It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Donna, "Only um..actually I was quite..interested in how I responded like, you know, in describing my family, you know, individually..cuz I never really thought of it..you know, um as singling each—sort of singling each one and being able to describe them..um actually it was quite good...I—I--I APPENDIX 198 mulled those those thoughts over...a bit after and it was— it was quite beneficial I think..in fact I think it was quite a good idea (laughter). Inv., "To actually go through the process of thinking about your family and about your early childhood. (Donna, " um hum um hum") So you enjoyed it. (Donna, "um hum.") and it went on over the week for you." Donna, "Um hum" Inv., "Today we're going to work together towards an interpre tation of that data, what thought's or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Donna, "Um...I was kind of interested, you know, to find out what...sort of is involved and any—(laughter) anything that might tell me..um..cuz I'm sort of in in um..I'm undecided as to what to do with my future..and I think that it'll, you know, yeah I'm hoping it might sort of help me..identify what, you know,...well I know it won't tell me exactly what to go into but it might help me decide..on what I want to do." Inv., "You hope to learn something from it that will help you in making your choice about your future." Donna, "Um hum." Insights which occurred during interpretation: 1) Donna, " I knew I read body language but I never really... realized how how how much I depended on body language, and and I knew I didn't really depend on..verbal language... but APPENDIX 199 I did depend a lot on body language...I didn't realize that until, you knowright now." Inv., "Till right now. So that's new for you." Donna, "Um hum" 2) Concerning her role of the stubborn one in the family. Donna, " (laughter) Funny it fits so well. (laughter) It does." Inv. "And what does it feel like to have it fit so well." Donna, "Embarressing (laughter) yea." Interpretation Process: Inv., "While we were working toward the interpretation, how engrossed or detached were you?" Donna, "Quite..quite engrossed. Not not necessarily feelings, but intellectually. Again I guess that's because my..my um....habit of—of how I deal with..things..Like I don't...yeah I think that's like intellectually quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Donna, "um (sigh) like what feelings regarding the information or the—?" Inv., "Any feelings that came up during the process." Donna, (laughter) "Embarrassment."(laugh) Inv., "Embarrassment, right, I remember you mentioning that." Donna, "Um actually I'm feeling a bit tense." (laughter) Inv., "Right now?" Donna, "Yes (laugh) mind wise, you know." Inv., "Pressure (Donna, "Yeah.") in your brain? (Donna, "Yeah, yeah") Pressure in your head?" APPENDIX 200 Donna, "Yeah well no, it's information that, yeah just a bit, not..not too much just sort of--I know what's ahead." (laughter) Inv., "What's ahead?" Donna, (laughter) "I've got a lot of thinking to do." (laughter from both of us) I mean that's good too, but I mean, you know." Inv. " So in one way you're glad and in another it's a lot of hard work." Donna, "Yeah (sigh) but it's uh I—I'm glad because I think it's probably..will help me a lot I think it's sort of informa tion that I couldn't get at before." Inv., "This is the missing key, the missing—(Donna, "I think so.") information that you've been struggling—determined to find. (Donna, "yeah.") (clears throat) Remember I noticed you're hand there and that was just like when you told me about Sally, can you tell me anything about what was going on there with you when that happened?" Donna, "I can't remember when I did that." Inv., "Right now I can't either but when you said your therapist called you a stream roller was that it?" Donna, "Yeah that's it. And I was sort of trying to hold myself back I guess." Inv., "Is that what that hand there meant?" Donna, "Yeah probably. I think so." Inv., "Hold yourself back from what?" Donna, " From being a stream roller. Cuz I--I ....isn't that APPENDIX 201 Donna, "I can't remember when I did that." Inv., "Right now I can't either but when you said your therapist called you a stream roller was that it?" Donna, "Yeah that's it. And I was sort of trying to hold myself back I guess." Inv., "Is that what that hand there meant?" Donna, "Yeah probably. I think so." Inv., "Hold yourself back from what?" Donna, " From being a streamroller. Cuz I—I ....isn't that funny...I don't know....I know cuz sometimes I feel like that...and I—I...maybe that's why I never get anywhere because I really feel that way and I don't want to be that way. I don't know." Inv., "Maybe that's what's holding you back. (Donna,"Could be." that you don't want to be like a streamroller." Donna, "Yeah. I think that could be part of it too." Inv., "So you're holding yourself back." Donna, "Yeah...yeah hum."(sounds surprised) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Donna, " No I don't think so. It's all up here." (points to head and laughs) Inv., "The feelings that you have, the pressure in your head is where you're feeling it. (Donna, "Yeah) The rest of your body is feeling fine—normal." "Did you have any thoughts or insights..?" Donna, "Um quite a few actually. Um about what I'm goin—how I' APPENDIX 202 going say mull this all over. Um actually quite a few because I think a lot of the things you've mentioned are a lot of the things that I hadn't really...couldn't really um...get my finger on, or you know. So it's actually —I'm—I'm, I'm kind of into...kind of anxious to..start, you knowdoing a lot of the thinking about it." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Donna, " um...no I can't really. No I can't really. It's just that I know that on quite a few--I'd never really thought, you know, and—and—and I'm almost positive that that's the key that I was looking for." Inv., "How does it feel to find the key that you were looking for?" Donna, "Exciting! (laugh) yeah it does." Inv., "There's a feeling I'm going to make a guess about, remember it's just a guess, do you feel a kind of relief?" Donna, "Yeah....and it's funny cuz I - it's almost like a well I'm not sure but it's almost like it's sort of...bit of a relief to my... feelings. Like it's an intellectual relief to my feelings. Like I never realized that they were so., you know like I blocked them so much urn..I don't know it's sort of funny. I haven't figured it completely out." Inv., "You haven't put it all together yet." (Donna, "Um") I wonder if it's like you had a whole—you're putting together a million piece puzzle and you were missing—you had lost a few pieces (Donna, "Um hum") of the puzzle and you couldn't find them. (Donna, "Yeah") and now you've found them, APPENDIX 203 (Donna, "Yeah") but you still haven't got them put into the picture yet, (Donna, "Yeah") and now you'd like to complete the picture. (Dona, "Yeah") and I guess..I gather that you'd like to do it alone." Donna, "Yeah."(big laugh) Inv., "Because you're a loner really. (Donna, "Yeah") and I'm pretty sure you will do it because you're determined. I'm pretty sure you will do it the way that you want to do it, and the way you like to operate. (Donna, "Um hum") and that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. APPENDIX 204 APPENDIX K Subject Number 5 - Elaine Transcribed from audio-tape ( in text indicates pauses) Section on Siblings: Inv., "When you were talking about yourself and your sister, how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Not terribly engrossed. I would just say right about in the middle." Inv., "Somewhat engrossed? Would that fit or not?" Elaine, "About neutral ummm somewhat engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, "Good feelings...Feelings of..good relationship of., sat isfaction I think in that relationship..um No disappoint ments, uh No regrets I don ' t. . . don't feel any regrets. The kind of relationship that we've had has been real good." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Elaine, "No." Inv., Did you have any thought or insights as you were talking about yourself and your sister? Elaine, "Just that the relationship that we had when we were younger I think it's really helped us now, now that we have our own homes and families and that it—it um there were good communication level..because I think it's always been that way, you know there's—there's never been a lot of conflict and there's never been that feeling that we were really distant..um although we're really different—our APPENDIX 205 personalities are different. Our likes and dislikes are really really different but..basically the level that we look at things on is the same. ti Inv., "Had you realized that before we'd done that life style analysis or did that just occur to you as we were talking?" Elaine, "No I think I realized that before." Inv., "Was there anything new there for you?" Elaine, "Not really. With my sister I've always..um..it's been sort of like an open book. Everythings been sort of right there. There's never been any question or any mystery about it and she's very easy to..figure out but um...to understand. I think uh..she doesn't leave any questions, you know, what she thinks she said." Inv., "So she's quite an open person." Elaine, "Yeah I think so." Sections of Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Pretty engrossed I think that I was sort of, you know, I could sort of--relive everything I was saying. I was experiencing as I talked about it I—um felt like I was talking about something very close to myself rather than just talking about something..or just someone. Not so much feeling that I was just stating facts as—as feelings." Inv., "And what feelings did you experience as you talked about them?" Elaine, "Love, hurt $ • * • • fairness, warmth, mixed feelings. it APPENDIX 206 Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Elaine, " I think warmth and.... anxiety maybe., um they are more of—of just the odd twinge of...not hurt or uh...I think maybe missing um...I don't know if loss is the right word--sort of uh..maybe sort of wanting to go back., even they—the more sensitive situations I think that the ones that really hit close to home, there was feeling of wanting to relive them." Inv., "Did those twinges or wants, did that feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Elaine, "No..Just a general overall feeling I think, you know." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " I think surprise a little, some things that came to mind, I haven't thought about in quite sometime and--arid..I think..I was a little surprised that those were the particu lar instances that came to place—to mind..um you know, when you're asked to recall something in a certain time period—I mean with all the things you experience within the year of your life, you know, it's interesting some of the...some of the minor things that'll come up And a lot of big things that take place..you know, things like....I was a flower girl at two different weddings and...one of those weddings was like 350 people, I don't even remember that, you know, or the day I graduated or, the day I got my driver's license (laugh) or something, those things didn't come to mind and those are the kind of things that..you know, I think those— maybe the big things happen and—and APPENDIX 207 we're so aware of them at the time..that once they're over we just sort of accept them and put them back in their... place, you know, put them in their slots, and let them sit there, but the little things that sometimes don't have that much bearing at the time are the things that are really important, you know, in that way." Inv., "You're surprised that these little incidences that didn't seem to be big in any way or have anything much spectacular about them, those are the things that stayed with you. Elaine, "Um hum". Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " Just thinking that those things that I share with my children now um—" (Elaine talked about times she spent with children just talking and sharing.) Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you related your early recollections, how engrossed or detached were you? Elaine," Quite engrossed... when you read those thoughts back to me I was expanding on them remembering more things that would come to mind. Talking about, you know, the...big events in our life that we don't remember...um the picture of me, smelling the tulip, I believe that was the day, I was just remembering the dress I had on, and I believe that was one of the times I was a flower girl and he had taken that picture of me before we left to go to the wedding and yet., the days events and the wedding and that completely left me, APPENDIX 208 so I'm not even sure if it was that day but I think it was but it's that one—I couldn't—I couldn't tell you what happened in the day—you know, I don't remember one other thing but I remember that time." Inv., "So when you were talking about those recollections, that one specifically you were right involved with that." Elaine, "Very." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, " well missing some of those things, wishing I could go back, dp them again, um...maybe enjoy them more knowing... how much they would mean to me in years to come..um... but not sorry that I've not gotten more out of them, I think just (sigh) just enjoying realizing uh you know, just what good times those were..and how important now the little times I'm spending with my own family... are... just realizing that those are really valuable times and sometimes I think I do things, and feel I'm doing the right thing and think that I know that this is important but it doesn't seem to pan out that way. But I think, you now, no matter what kind of a relationship you have, you know, those little times no matter what's talked about or what happens if anything, sometimes I think I feel these little things that we accom—well we didn't get anything out of that and I thought we would've but I think you do, you know, you get something out of every experience, you know, it's all valuable, I think." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" APPENDIX 209 Elaine, "Yeah just twinges again just sort of....um...like the same kind of feelings you get when you've....lost someone that's sort of--not an empty feeling, far from that but um...sort of almost a desperate feeling that you know some thing was gone and you can't get it back, you know, there are things, momentoes you can keep from the experience but they're...you know, in your mind or—or untouchable things I think that I— think that sometimes when you relive these things it's not quite enough. You think if I could just go back and..have the experience again, you know, having what you've—you've got from the experience is great and that's one thing but you can never have that experience again, and I think there's sort of a feeling of loss there. Inv., "Did those twinges feel anywhere in particular in your body? Elaine, " No..no I didn't get any sensation like that. Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, "Just that I think.... basically that—that everything we experience in life is, you know, big or small or no matter what...um area of our lives it's in I think it's all really really important, I think it's important to go through all these things." (Elaine talked more about importance to do things. Between sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Elaine, "No not really. I did find it really really interesting." APPENDIX 210 Inv., "In what way was it interesting for you?" Elaine, "There were a lot of things that I discuss at other times that uh different feelings came out, different thoughts, things I..if I had known that I was going to talk about it, probably wouldn't have said those things, the thoughts that just came to me, I was kind of surprised." Inv., "You were really surprised at the particular things that came out while (Elaine, "um hum.") we were going through it. Like ordinarily those things wouldn't have come up." Elaine, " I don't think so. Not if I'd had more time to think about it. You know, I think I probably would have... searched for bigger things, you know, instead of the little things that came out." Inv, " Do you have a feeling of regret that you came out with what you (Elaine, "No" ) did or you feel you would have handled it differently had you known the things you were going to be asked. (Elaine, "Yeah" ) But it's OK by you." Elaine, "Oh yeah. I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out yeah." Inv., "Just surprised." Elaine, "Yeah." Inv., "Today we're going to work together toward an interpre tation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Elaine, "I was looking forward to it." Inv., "What were you looking forward to seeing or getting?" Elaine, " Just a continuation of last week because I'm quite APPENDIX 211 pleased with the way last week worked out and I was really interested in follow up and to see how um how...it was just a just get an evaluation of last week, you know, last week was really interesting but it was sort of left up in the air. I hoping that this week would sort of tie it up I guess." Inv., "Get some closure (Elaine, "Yeah") on it. So you were looking forward to getting out of that left-up-in-the-air feeling. Getting some closure on this and I'm guessing here but perhaps some curiosity? About what was going to be said here today?" Elaine, "I think curiosity was more with last week session, you know, I— I found it really interesting... that what I said and--and the things that came out last week and now I'm wondering why I said them, you know, (laugh) I guess I'm looking for some answers to last week." Inv., "To why you said them." Elaine, "Yeah." Interpretation Process: Elaine, " It's really been enlightening. It just fascinates me that someone can pick up on an hour's conversation and—and ... you know, the things that you were saying were exactly what I was thinking, you know." Inv., "What I was saying really clicked with how it is with you." Elaine, "Um hum. A lot of things—thoughts that I have had, you were able to put into a sentence for me, you know, which which...well it's not easy to put your thoughts into words APPENDIX 212 so often and uh I guess quite often somesone else comes in and can look at something from a different angle or-or look at the same things in the same angle maybe, I don't know, without the emotion." Inv., "While we were going through this process, working together toward the interpretation, how engrossed or detached were you?" Elaine, "Oh quite engrossed... very engrossed I would say...more today than last week. A lot of things were cleared up. Last week I left quite confused actually (laugh) you know, I had enjoyed the session but um oh at first I was a little apprehensive, you know, I didn't know what to expect, and as I got into it I really enjoyed it and I was really looking forward to coming back today. I kept saying to my husband I'm really looking forward to today because, you know, I've got a lot of questions that I want answered, and that...and uh...but I found today was—understanding a lot of what happened last week that I was really engrossed." Inv., "It made sense out of things for you." Elaine, "Yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Elaine, "Some good feelings of good time good memories um... feelings of um anxiety uhuncertain... struggling ...I think being afraid of--of some of the answers coming out— not of you hearing thera--but of me hearing them. Um, things that I was realizing and wondering maybe I'm not—maybe I'm not...quite ready to....to actually admit this, you know, I APPENDIX 213 know it's there but I've had it bottled up for so long so I think—think there was sort of a struggle going on...as to just how much I wanted to get from it." Inv., "Did you have any physical reactions? Elaine, " That's a hard one...I don't really....I had the same problem answering that last week. I don't really pick up on the--the physical end of it somehow. I think I got really tied up in it emotionally and um...wasn't really aware of the physical end of it." Inv., "Is that maybe a pattern of yours that you're tuned out to the physical part? I'm just making a guess here." Elaine, "Could be.... Either that or I just...I'm working so hard mentally and—and ... emotionally that — that um... physical is neglected... there's no time, you know, I think that's the key word —time." Inv., "Would you say that might be a pattern or that is?" Elaine, "It is a pattern because I have it now." Inv., "That you tune out your own physical sensations." Elaine, "Um hum." Inv., While we were working toward the interpretation did you have any thoughts or insights?" Elaine, " um I think maybe that,...the thoughts I was getting were mostly—was from ....that the things that would being dealt with here are really very very basic. I mean they were little things... that really fascinated me that — they were just—they were details, you know, there was no big—I mean it wasn't my wedding day or graduation or day APPENDIX 214 I had my baby, you know, I mean being really big events and I--they were just little things and I was quite surprised by that." Inv., "Do you think that's what you've been doing? So focused on the little details in your life that you've not paid atten tion to the bigger picture of your life?" Elaine, " Yeah that could be..um the second part definitely is true but whether I have really paid attention to the details. I think at the time they have been very important to me....but I don't seem to um....you know each one indiv idually, OK it's—it's really important to me but I don't seem to put them together to make anything out of them. Inv., "Make a bigger picture out of them?" Elaine, " Yeah yeah I guess that's it. Each little incident is very important at the time, you know, but it's locked in it's place, you know, and um I don't make a bigger picture of it, I don't put them all together... to make it a way of life, you know." Inv., "They have been put together for you. What has that meant for you to have all those little details put together into a picture?" Elaine, "I'm not quite sure yet. uh uh My problem really is um uh...I think it's made me aware that...I think that when these little things do happen, I'm going to be much more aware of them." APPENDIX 215 APPENDIX L Subject Number 6 - Fiona (transcribed from audio-tape) ( in text indicates pauses) Section on Siblings: Investigator: "As you were talking about your sister and your self, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona: "Not as involved as the last part." Inv., "You were sort of involved, would that fit?" Fiona, "Yeah, sort of, it was like., you were talking about...you know, two situations." Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your sister?" Fiona, "Envy and uh...a bit of anger that I think she....I was always one step behind always felt that she was a bit better than me..one fear I have, and I know this sounds silly, but I don't ever want to be..heavy. I have a fear, you know of being terribly—I want to be a hundred pounds again, if I could go to sleep tomorrow—wake up 100 pounds it wouldn't bother me. But I have to be thinner than her." Inv., "That's one way you can be a little bit something more that her." Fiona, "Yes. Isn't that—I know..silly but...I always ask her how much do you weigh." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Fiona, "Sort of loss, I know I was very angry..when she left for ... when she left, moved away." APPENDIX 216 Inv., "When we were talking about it did that anger come up while we were talking about it?" Fiona, "A little bit." Inv., "Did it feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Fiona, "Sort of like in here (Hand on chest)." Inv., "Any other physical reactions or sensations?" Fiona, "A bit of a headache." Inv,. "Was this when you were talking about your sister, did the headache come then or did the headache come later?" Fiona, "Later I think." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights? Fiona, "About my sister?" Inv., "When you were talking about your sister? Fiona, "That, uh..we're both fighting....we're still sort of— both of us still..fighting..like there's been sort of a.. like you say a battle to..and she's still fighting." Inv., "Did you see that as we were talking about your sister or had you seen that before?" Fiona, "I could partially see it before but now I can see even more." Inv., "Talking about your sister helped (Fiona, "Yeah.") you to see that even more. Any other thoughts or insights that you might have had ... as we were talking about your sister? I'm going to ask you about the other sections later." Fiona, " Um right now I feel like phoning her (laugh) but um....I love her but yet I hate part of her...hate." Inv.,"Mixed feelings about her." APPENDIX Fiona, "Yeah." Section on Parents 217 Inv., "As you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Not detached but engrossed, very engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "Fear, anger, trapped, helplessness, um, guilt... feeling even having to say that about Mom—like now that she's gone I almost feel guilty now that I'm free." (Fiona talked more about guilt she felt as a result of being caught between husband and mother. She also mentioned anger at Mother due to the demands she placed on her because of the mother's illness before her death.) Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations when we talked about your parents?" Fiona, "Helplessness." Inv., "And unreal, you had an unreal feeling come up for you." (Fiona: um hum) Did that feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Fiona, "Sort of like you wanted to crawl into a corner. (Fiona was sitting on the arm of the chair.) Inv., "You felt like you wanted to crawl into a corner." Fiona, "Um hum, that's the way I feel right now." Inv., "Like right now this minute?" Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Does that mean you'd like to get out of this situation we're in right now?" APPENDIX 218 Fiona, "No, I don't know where I'm going to go after—I don't where—I'm where—I'm.... Inv., "So you're feeling trapped right now—like you can get out of here but—there's no direction for you to go once you're out of here." Fiona, "I know I have to meet a girlfriend tonight but I don't know if I'm going to be, uh..able to handle—Do you understand?" Inv., "Yes, I understand." Fiona, "I want to go for a drink but I don't know how I'm going ' to (Inv., "Cope) get home to get ready to back to..to that it's—something you've—I've been avoiding childhood and some-things that... really..I don't feel real right now." Inv., "Right now you're sort of living in two worlds (Fiona, "Yeah.") You're trying to think 'how am I going to do that and yet you're trying to be here too'." Fiona, "Yeah it's like being somethin " Inv., "Feeling of depersonalization right now?" Fiona, "Yeah I don't.... feel real. Can you understand?" Inv., "Can I help you feel real. Is there anything I can do to help you feel real?" Fiona, "Am I crazy?" Inv., "No." Fiona, "What happened?" Inv., " You're just so used to living that way that it's very normal..for you and it might not be so—other people aren't used to feeling that way, but you are, you're very used to APPENDIX 219 feeling that way. That's how you coped, all this time... that's how you coped., in two worlds." Inv., "Um hum. Did I tell you I used to day dream in a world? I used to.... another world I used to escape to." Inv., "That was one way you could escape and no could stop you." (Fiona described the fantasy world she created for herself.) Inv., "That world was probably--it was probably more pleasant to be in than the one that you were in. (Fiona, "Yeah.") And so that's how you coped with the horrible world that you were actually living in." Fiona, " Every time I see the Lennon Sisters now...they're part of..." Inv., "How about right now here with me Fiona....do you feel that you want to escape from here? that I'm putting pressure on you?" Fiona, "No, I don't want to leave." Inv., "You don't want to leave. You're scared to leave." Fiona, "Yes." Inv., "And that's what making you split into two worlds?---that you're here with me now but part of you's feeling anxious about what's going to happen when you leave here?" Fiona, "Um hum. I feel safe here. I don't feel safe any place else. I'm being very honest. I'm near a—I don't know if I'm near a breaking point..." Inv., "You're feeling desperate." Fiona, " DESPERATE that's it! I want to go on but I want to have to be strong, but how long do you keep on being strong?.... APPENDIX 220 before you.." INV., "How about I go and see if (Fiona's therapist) is available and he can come and help while we finish up. Would you like that?" Fiona nods. The investigator leaves and returns with Fiona's therapist. The research questions were discontinued at this time and asked prior to the second session. Inv.,"Last week as we talked about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" Fiona, "Some anger Feeling of pity... awareness , of course, of...what they'd done...and. (cough) coming in touch with them and life, you know, What they had, you know, what their idea of life had been like living their life through us." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations as you talked about your parents?" Fiona, "It's hard to— I got upset and guilt. They felt they had done the best they could. Maybe they did." Inv., You felt guilty talking about them. (Fiona, "Yes.") That upsetness, did it feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Fiona, "In your stomach, you felt sort of shaky...felt sort of shaky all over." APPENDIX 221 Inv., "And your stomach felt?" Fiona, "In a knot." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you were talking about your parents?" Fiona, "That they were (sigh) I had them like—almost as—they weren't really parents, but wardens (voice goes up.) if you know what I mean, and also that Mom had been like a queen. We were all in constant battle to—like I told you, you know. She was more than a mother, but almost like David was more than a husband. Like David was almost like a god Where Mom was more like a ... queen... and they would explode or something, you know, always in constant battle to keep her from exploding. Inv., "Those were the thoughts that came up, where they new for you?" Fiona, "I realized how all life had been—the three of us were all in a battle to keep Mom—where she had been like a..." Inv., "Was that new for you?" Fiona,"Um hum. I realized Dad's main ambition was to keep Mom—we wouldn't break what she wanted..and if she did, it would be like a bomb going—you know." Inv., "Like your whole world would crash around you." Fiona, "Yeah, and there'd be no escape, you know. like when she would explode it wouldn't be for an hour it would be for a whole day, and there'd be no where to run, no where to hide, no where to escape to—you trapped in—like a hell." APPENDIX 222 Sections on Early recollections Inv., "When you were relating your early recollections, how engrossed or detached were you?" Fiona, "Quite engrossed yeah." Inv., "Quite engrossed." Fiona, "Yeah." (cough) Inv., "Can you help me understand what that means to you?—quite engrossed?" Fiona, " (Cough) It became very aware to me you know how I felt almost like I was almost reliving it." Inv.,"What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "Sort of helplessness um captive, a dark sort of feeling, sort of a dark haze and uh That's it yeah I think that's it." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Fiona, "Sort of a panicy, you know, not panicy as far as — sort of a sad hurtful " Inv., "Not panicy so much as sad hurtful." Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Did that sadness feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Fiona, "Just all—you know, part of all over." Inv., "I see your rubbing your throat." Fiona, "Right in here." (hand on chest) Inv., "In your chest—sort of at the bottom of your rib cage." Fiona, "Um hum." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" APPENDIX 223 Fiona, "Like you said it was—it almost seems unusual—it was an unreal childhood and like you say living in 3 different worlds and—you know that—sort of a plastic—sort of—a mold and ah. Come to a point—there I didn't know which world I was in." Inv., "While you were going through the recollections?" Fiona, "Like there are 2 different worlds and you're—which world am I in now sort of (laugh) you doubted." Inv., "You couldn't figure out—you were confused as to which world you were in at that time." Fiona, "Which world is real." Inv., "And that's-what you experienced at the time." Between Sessions: Inv.,"It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Fiona, "I completely came to the realization that I have been living—like I told you—in about three worlds..and you know even David's (husband) world, you know and I..have had no worlds of my own..and I think this is why it's so hard now. I don't really feel I have a right to a world of my own..and now that I'm out on my own it's—I'm still trying to,well I don't know how to deal with—you know what I mean. Inv., "What was it like to go through that experience? I would like you to describe that experience in words, what you went through last week." Fiona, "It was like, my life went like this (moves hand across space in front of her) it's been like a break, a change." APPENDIX 224 Inv., "You're moving your hand that means it went along for a period of time and then there was a break." Fiona, "Yes, OK, I know like this divorce it's s put me—it's like in a dream world, you know you still feel—I think that's cuz I don't know which world I'm in now, that's what I've come in contact—I'm out of everyone else's would which I'd been (Inv., "All your life.") literally..yeah..pouring myself into..now I'm almost—to be out on my own is almost like in a dream (voice goes up) it—it isn't., real." Inv., "Yes, because you're not used to it. (Fiona, "No.") So what happened last session?" Fiona, "Well, I came in contact with that.." Inv., " (clarifying) with that?" Fiona, "With that realization that I--why I feel like I'm in a dream world is because I'm in—actually out of Mom's world, still part of me in David's but mostly out of it and how do I deal without., everyone else's world and do I have a right (laugh) to a world of my " Inv., "All those questions come up for you, but the session last week made you realize-" Fiona, "Realize. Like the breaking out of the..the yard now where do I go from here? You're free..will they still capture me..back., or once I get out there where will I go? You know." Inv., "That feeling of lost, like OK I'm out but where do I go now?" Fiona, "Yeah. Where do I go? Do I keep running so they don't APPENDIX 225 get me back? And part of you wants to be caught again—you know a little bit, you know. But then even walking up here today I looked down there..and it does seem black, you know, where I lived compared to..where I am..I would wish the marriage had work—it would—it would take..I wouldn't go back say for..I'm not, you know, until I got myself... into a world of my own that I could exist in." Inv., "That you could trust. (Fiona, "Yeah.") Familiar with and used to living in." Fiona, "Um hum, to go back to there would be almost like..death (voice goes up) you know. Not that I think he meant it but it's—his different way." But there are many things that I realize, that I've blocked out in the past. You know you hide them. When I got out it almost .like I was changed." Inv., "When you left here?" Fiona, "Yeah, but sort of--I didn't know where to—sort of felt myself sort of going around in " Inv., "Wandering around. (Fiona, "Yeah.") You felt dazed." Fiona, "Yeah, and then I phoned my girlfriend and she—I couldn't get home to get together to get back, you know, like I say I have to wash my hair and everything before I eat, by seven so she said she'd come down to meet me for a drink—then. So I waited for her and you know , and I didn't really feel like going into a—but that was her evening too, you know that feeling you don't really want to—but it was sort of bright outside. The idea of going into a place—like that was sort of a bit—not really the right attitude to go—like APPENDIX 226 I'd been in here, just got out sort of dazed wandering around and then within half an hour she came and then we went into the bar and it was OK for about half an hour and then I only had one drink, but I found—the it got loud and crowded and I started feeling really... trapped—not really being able to breathe and then she ordered another drink and I didn't want to be rude but I almost felt like I , oooh, I gotta get out of here. I'm going to die. You know what I mean (laughs). I felt drained and I couldn't make it home so her husband drove me home. You know we went over to her place. I got home and I couldn't—really--I phoned Laurie--found it hard to get—everything back..together, you know what I mean, like the—to get yourself into the ritual—into the rituals and everything all seemed to be out of— life seemed to be a little bit all..mixed." Inv., "Confused?" Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "Everything you had organized, patterns before, everything seemed disorganized for you all of a sudden." Fiona, "Yeah, little bit but I was able to get it, but it was—by the time I got it all together it was a little bit late but it was sort of like you were trying to get everything straight in your head again." Inv., "You're usual pattern of washing your hair before you eat—that was upset. That you actually went for a drink with..without doing that." Fiona, "Well that was OK as long as I didn't have to eat but I APPENDIX 227 would have preferred, you know, to get yourself together first." Inv., "Later that night when I phoned you, you said you felt different. Can you help me understand how you felt different that night?" Fiona, "The world looked a bit different." Inv., " How? In what way did it look different?" Fiona, "A little dazed but a little bit relieved. A little bit more—so much more in touch with myself..that it was..like I knew how I got from point A to point B. That's a bit scary then you start doubting yourself a bit. You know, maybe it all didn't happen. Sort of like a dream and I...but I could actually see how I got from there." Inv., "And now it's clear to you where its never been really clear to you before. (Fiona, "No.") So going there, that proves last week was what helped to make that clear to you. (Fiona, "Um hum.") And it made you relieved to know how you got to were you are right now." Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "You felt relieved somehow." Fiona, "Oh yeah. Sort of a relief feeling that you actually knew... how you, you know, how you got here and some of the things you had blamed yourself—and you know, contact with—uh, you know, the things that had happened in your life and...like that feeling of, uh, the different worlds, and being trapped, and that it's actually that you've been sort of living in a trap and to be free is scary." APPENDIX 228 Inv, "When you don't know how to be free. (Fiona, "Right.") It's very scary." Fiona, "You feel yourself—almost putting yourself in traps because you're so used to being in one, its almost safe to—you know." (laugh) Inv., "At least you know how to handle that. Being free--not knowing how to handle that is really terrifying." Fiona, "It is but yet you...I like to take, type of person, would take a risk, you know what I mean, adventure. (laugh) Fiona talked more about being adventerous. Inv., "That's a resource . that you have." "Today we are going to work together towards an interpreta tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Fiona, "Little bit scared um, but excited, you know what I mean. What—what—what'll I find out? (laugh) Um, I realize the subconscious is a very powerful... tool. I know I was using an awful lot of--it doesn't matter, it's OK. (Fiona talked More here about so many things happened for her)--don't feel anymore—couldn't cry anymore." Inv., "Were you aware that you cried last week." Fiona, "No, did I, oh yeah." Fiona talked about her relationship with her husband and with his mother. APPENDIX 229 Interpretation Process: Inv. "How do you feel about coming here today?" Fiona, "I find today even a bit more scary." Inv., " You find what we're talking about right now scary. (Fiona, "Uh huh.") Because we're talking about an area that's hard for you—being out. (Fiona, "Yeah.") Being free, getting absorbed in something you might lose control." How engrossed or detached were you when you were talking about your parents?" Fiona: "Quite engrossed." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Fiona, "A realization of what happened, you know, if you want to (press?) the 2 dolls." Inv., "That clicked for you did it?" Fiona, "Yeah." Inv., "Did any particular feelings come up for you?" Fiona, "Through that? Uh.." Inv., "When we are going through the process." Fiona, "I felt sort of sorry for her in a way cuz I don't think she really (pause) like you say, I don't think she must have a lot of fears too, and too—very proud person. Inv. "Any other feelings come up for you?" Fiona, "Like I hadn't been real, like something fragile—like a--like a doll, you know, what that is—that's not human. Inv.,"That feeling came up for you again as we were talking about that." Fiona, " Uh hum, and in a way I haven't really felt too human all APPENDIX 230 ray life, you know, more of a possession or somebody's toy. Fiona Spoke of watching a movie in which a man had a possession over his sister. Fiona, "And a horrid—most horrid feeling went through me that I--I couldn't identify with it but it just sort of (pause) where—where—almost into a shake. You know where you could—I don't know if it was I saw myself through that or, but it was, you know, you just go down—almost a feeling of complete panic or even worse. Inv., "Did that happen to you today when we were going through that—a feeling of panic?" Fiona, "Panic, yeah like I've been in other people's--I haven't been me—I've been part of my Mom, part of—you know, it's scary to think of getting out. Inv., "Did you have any physical reactions?" Fiona, "Part of me feels like right now it's scared." Inv., "Scared?" Fiona (Nods) "Wanting out of the traps." Inv., "Does that feel anywhere in particular in your body?" Fiona, "Sort of shaky and—and—and anger is sort of inside." Inv., "Anger inside and you feel shaky." Fiona, "I feel sort of used and like thrown away. Like something that's been kept, no good anymore, throw it out and now what does it do, it's been so overly used. (laugh) How does it get itself back together to start all--you know what I mean. And yet it's expected of you. Somebody says APPENDIX 231 I know you can do and at times I feel like saying heck maybe I can't—to hell with it all, you know." Inv., "When you talked about the shakiness that you felt inside your body can you tell me where abouts inside your body that shakiness was?" Fiona."You know, just a bit shaky all over." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Fiona. "Am I so terrified of the unknown that I—feel safer to be in..this..terrified of failure—terrified that what if I go out there and I don't make it, you know that..um, many years ahead, I don't want to concentrate to far—OK I got no family, so even if you get a job that's—but at least I've got to have that, you know." Inv., "The thoughts that come up for you were—what am I going to do—what if I do live to 80, what am I going to do without any family and I could get a job but at least I'd have that. Did you have any insights today?" Fiona, "That I am a--I don't believe I'm really, you know, I guess I've got to start believing in myself more. That I'm free." APPENDIX 232 APPENDIX M Case Study Number Seven - Ginny Transcribed from audio-tape ( indicates pauses) Section on Siblings: Inv., "How engrossed or detached were when you talked about your sisters and brothers and yourself?" Ginny, "Very. Yeah very. I was able to—to really picture them the way it is." Inv., "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your sisters, brothers, and yourself?" Ginny, "I--I--I feel..feel like MAYbe .. some of., my different sisters and brothers ways they've maybe been changed by my parents ..because Mom—it was always a battle to keep us apart., it was—like Mom she doesn't like when we get really close—the kids amongst each other. It's like she feels um.... (sigh) she feels-- cuz she doesn't want us to be that way because it might damage her in some way or —or it—I— just—I don't understand. I don't really understand. I think that's what it is. She just didn't really want us to.. (Inv., "Be close with each other.") Yeah. It really worried her if we were..talking amongst each other or if we even spoke to Dad. If, you know, it was Mom's birthday or something and we would talk to Dad, you know, could we..get her something? If she'd know we were talking to Dad in secrecy she'd get REALLY mad....just terrible." Inv., "As you were talking about your siblings and those thoughts came up. What feelings did you experience with those APPENDIX 233 thoughts?" Ginny., "Oh I really felt tight." Inv., "I notice you've got your hand at the base of your neck. (Ginny, "Yeah.") Felt tight? Is that a physical reaction that you had?" Ginny, "I don't know. I — I guess I just (very quietly) I just felt like I was going to cry." Inv., "You didn't cry, but I noticed your eyes were very moist. It looked like (Ginny, "Yeah.") you were going to." Ginny, "I just—I don't know " Inv., "It's hard to describe those feelings that came up." Ginny, "Um hum I guess I REALLY.. I just really., care for all my sisters and brothers., it's funny because last night I was telling my sister, gee, you know, telling her...it seems such a shame .. things were the way they were because (Ginny cries) um... if we could, you know, I think any one of us could die at any time ( Speech blurred here) You never KNOW from one day to the next if we're all going to., to be here. And it just doesn't seem right that... you treat people this or treat each other this— I don't understand it." Inv., "It makes you incredible sad that your siblings are like they are with each other." Ginny, "Yeah. But I blame Mom. I blame Mom for doing it because she did her damned est to keep up apart.... yeah she — she it really bothers me." Inv., "I can see that. You obviously care really a lot about APPENDIX 234 them and it's really sad for you that you can't be close to your siblings because of how your Mom handled it." Ginny, "I guess I've wanted to die for so many years I guess that ....I've come so close to hurting, myself., and I just WONDER—see I feel like my Mom KNOWS what loss is— and I lost—I lost my parents— I lost—I lost so much when I was little and I don't think Mom really knows what loss is because... I think maybe if., maybe even if—if a of my sisters and brothers did—if they know what it was..to lose something or somebody then they could-- they could have it in here (Ginny has her hand on her chest.) You know, they could—they could feel. They would be able to be more caring and more feeling of people's thoughts and that. Love people for what they are not for what they look like or what their handicaps are...I mean I feel like we're all different and that's OK." Section on Parents: Inv.,'" When you were talking about your parents, how engrossed or detached were you?" Ginny, "Uh quite angry." Inv., "Angry? And so as far as being engrossed or detached which would you say you were?" Ginny, "Very engrossed. Yeah I was really into them, yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience? You said anger." Ginny, " Hurt um I resent—-a lot of resentment, cuz I remember, I remember them always asking us which..one that we would go APPENDIX 235 with..if Mom and Dad—like they'd say if we split up which one, you know, are you going to live with Dad or are you going to live with me? And it's just not a choice... that we wanted to make as kids. You were safe if you wanted to go with Mom but if you didn't then she would really..(quietly) get upset." Inv., Did you have.any physical sensations as you talked about your Mom and Dad?" Ginny, "Um..(very quietly) I could um visualize my Dad's violence. Inv., "That happened for you as you were talking about it? (Ginny nods) and how did that feel or did that feel anywhere inside your body or did you have any physical reactions?" Ginny, " Yeah. I felt like curling up that's what I would do I would curl up." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you talked about your parents?" Ginny, " Not really...(sigh) I guess I—I feel so upset with them and now I just...I just don't understand how—how they could raise all these kids and have— I mean all of us 9 of us under one roof and nobody was happy. I mean it was just— you always watched what you said or you never knew who was going to be screaming next cuz somebody was getting..their hair pulled or the belt or the cord off the kettle it was always always terrible, just terrible." Inv., "It's incomprehensible to you how 9 people can live toge-APPENDIX 236 together in such unhappiness . " Section on Early Recollections Inv., When you were relating your early recollections how en grossed or detached were you?" Ginny, "Very much." Inv., "What was that like for you?" Ginny, "Really sad because I don't know where the happiness is. You know, I--I just don't know if you had asked me about um happy times I could come up with any? No no. I don't know." Inv., " So the feelings that came up were sadness (Ginny nods) Any other feelings that came up for you?" Ginny, (sigh) "I Wondered why. Why--why all these...it seemed so negative, and I don't understand why." . Inv., "There's confusion for you (Ginny, "Yeah very much") Just doesn't make sense to you." Ginny, "No. That's funny because I thought--I thought that a lot of it was set aside— that I was able to—when I really sit and think about it I can't handle it still." Inv., "It still really upsets you." Ginny, "Yeah it does." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Ginny, "Yeah yeah with with...I could almost—I could feel their grabbing at me when I'm up there. (Inv., In the dream) yeah I could...feel the...touch like just..but I did in my dreams too. I just felt them." APPENDIX 237 Inv., But right now when you were telling me that dream you could feel it somehow (Ginny, 11 Um hum um hum") Did it feel anywhere in particular in your body?" Ginny, "When they were grabbing at me where did I--around my legs, cuz it was harder to keep them up. (small laugh) I felt like I was pushing—I must have been (Ginny has hands on thighs) pushing in my sleep... keeping my legs....down or something to...cuz I would just always feel--I would always wake up exhausted." Inv., "So when you were telling me about that dream you had that same feeling in you legs right here." Ginny, "Yeah. Yeah." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights as you were giving me those recollections." Ginny, "I had a lot of thoughts. Um but it was mainly--why did the toad die? What did I do—what was I..you know..I was really being careful." Inv., "So questions come up in your mind." Ginny, " Yeah why—why--why would I remember these things all so vividly? and (very softly)..." Inv., "Did you have any insights?" Ginny, "Not really." Between Sessions: Inv., It't been over a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" APPENDIX 238 Ginny, " I guess I really looked at my family, you know, I looked at them individually when I left and I tried to compare me to them, to really see where I was different or where I was the same and what not. But I feel like I've really gone down into a real depression and I don't know why." Inv., "Do you think it's because—" Ginny, " I don't know--Idon't know what it is um.. " Inv., "Do you have any idea about when it started?" Ginny, " A good week ago. I don't know what it is, I've been debating about getting a hold of my therapist before my appointment." Inv., " You're feeling stressed right now." Ginny, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." Inv., "Sort of at the end of your rope." Ginny, (Sigh)" I don't know." Inv., I have some information for you which I think will be good to hear. It will explain to you why life has been like it has for you and why you have reacted the way you have over the past. It's not unhappy news. Would you like to do it? (Ginny whispers something). Do you feel up to it?" (Ginny, "Yeah")....You could stop now if you wanted to." Ginny, (choked)"I'11 just do anything that'll help."(sniff, sigh) Inv., " So after the session you really looked at your family, individual members (large sigh) and compared them to yourself, tried to look at where and how you were different" Ginny, (sniff) "Looked at my husband's family too..I don't know why I even married him (sniff) a lot of hate feelings." APPENDIX 239 inv. "today we are going to work togethe toward an interpreta tion of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Ginny, (large sigh) "I felt—felt better because..I feel better coming here on a one—to — one basis than I do..to group, I feel I can talk better and I don't know why—I don't know why that is..um I think in--my problem in group is I feel is that..I've always got uh ray family my parents in the back ground, telling me keep your mouth shut and through growing up I always..wanted to talk to somebody but there were all the threats and you just kept your mouth shut, and I guess, you know, when I come in here..I just feel like a little girl and I felt scared and I—I love everyone of the girls that are in here, I feel really close to them, I feel like...like for once I can really—like I can relate to each one of them individually and I feel really comfortable I can't believe it....but I find it really hard in group." Inv., "Find it hard to talk because you've got the message from your parents but here in individual basis it's different, it's not as if you're talking if front of others, you're talking with a therapist so it's not as if you're betraying your parents. (Ginny, "Yeah, yeah.") So that's the feelings you had about coming here today that it would be OK to talk with someone on a one—to—one basis (Ginny, "Yeah") about the bad feelings that you feel. (Ginny, (Whispers) "Yeah." Interpretation Section: I began the interpretation and got to the themes from two APPENDIX 240 recollections concerning her not being able to relax and be her self, that she always had to be on guard to avoid abuse in her family. She began to cry, deep, choking sobs, and continued to cry for about one and one half hours. During this time I was holding her and at times rocking her. Inv., "Tell me how you feel right now. You've been crying for a long long time. Tell me how you feel right now." Ginny, "I feel like I don't belong. I just don't know where I belong. I feel..lost." Inv., "You just feel totally lost right now." Ginny, "I just want..somebody." Inv., "You just want somebody., to care for you." Ginny, (Sniff) "Most of all my husband." Inv., "You're husband (Ginny nods) You wish he could care for you." Ginny, " Yeah I just don't know, don't know how anybody feels, (words not heard here) towards the surface." Inv., "It's hard for you to know what other people are feeling, you don't know how to read them." Ginny, " Yeah just can't (large sigh)" Inv., "As you were going through this how engrossed to detached were you? Involved? (Ginny nods) Totally involved?" Ginny, "Yeah." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Ginny, "I just felt like I was back at home." Inv., "Felt like you were back at home in your childhood. (Ginny, APPENDIX 241 "Yeah." What feelings did you experience as you were back at home in your childhood?" Ginny, "Felt so unlove....lost, totally lost." Inv.,Abandoned maybe (Ginny nods) totally abandoned (Ginny, "Yeah") Left to your own resources." Ginny, "Something about Mom and Dad, when Dad was gone she would always tell us..tha she was going to send us--have us sent away..if we were bad..and I wish she would have. One time she dialed a number. I don't know where the number was but she told us—she told us she would put our clothes under the door (sniff) she put our clothes over the door and she went and said that they'd be here to come and get us (laboured breathing) only I didn't want to go then, I didn't want to be taken away." Inv., "You were scared." Ginny, "I never remember playing or anything happy I just don't remember being happy. I don't understand it. Kids laugh and play and you know get together with friends and they are talking about things they did as kids I've got nothing to share because there was nothing." Inv., What feelings did you experience?" Ginny, (difficult to understand) "Feelings?" Inv., "Yeah." Ginny, "Resentment." Inv., "Resentment." Ginny, "Yeah against my Mom and Dad, I really resent them, (still crying) It was fear—fear that overtook anything because.... APPENDIX 242 if you did something wrong..no matter how small it was the end result was.so severe. Something would happen if you.... let yourself go or just really did goof off in any stupid Inv., "So the punishment didn't fit the crime (Ginny, "No." and it wasn't even being a crime it was just being a child, but you weren't allowed to be a child. (Ginny, "Yeah." because you got severely punished for it. So you had fear and resentment. Did you experience any other feelings?" Ginny, "Felt sorry for me I don't know, I just feel if I had've known this was going to be like it is for me now I never would've had my kids." Ginny talked more about her comcern for her children—that no one hurts them. Inv., You cried as you went through this. Did you have any other physical reactions?" Ginny, "My chest was hurting and my head felt like it was going to explode." Inv., "Does it feel that way now?" Ginny, "No." Inv., "How does your head feel now?" Ginny, "Buzzing." Inv., "But at one time it felt like it was going to explode way. tt (Ginny, "Um hum."). Any other physical reactions?" Ginny, "Tired. tt In tt Exhausted maybe? Ginny, "Um hum I feel so lonely. tt APPENDIX 243 Inv., "You feel lonely. Do you feel abandonded right now?" Ginny, "Yeah." In., "Do you feel any relief at all? (Ginny gives a Small laugh) Hum? That makes you smile." Ginny, "I can't function at home, I don't know why. I thought I'd come a long way, I feel really pushed back again." Inv., "Is that what the first session did for you? Did it feel like it pushed you back?" (Large sigh, Ginny, " Yeah.") Back into the depths of the pain?" Ginny, "Yeah..I—I get that way not only—like I've always gotten that way, and then I'll be alright or just about as right as I can be and then...it just happens." Inv., "It's like trying to walk a tightrope all the time, and sometimes you just have to stop. I mean you can only walk a tightrope for so long..(Ginny, "Yeah.") and then you fall off and you get up and keep walking that tightrope. Does that fit..that feeling that you're always walking a tightrope?" Ginny, "Um hum, yeah.. " Inv., "How does your head feel now, is it still buzzing?" Ginny, "No, it's stopped buzzing now." APPENDIX 244 APPENDIX N Case Study Number 8 - Hal Transcribed from audio-tape Section on Siblings: Inv., "As you were talking about your brothers and yourself, how Hal, "I was quite engrossed actually in the details I gave you." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Hal, "I was envious of my brothers characteristics that I gave you..just being strong and uh.. just being easy goin'." Inv., Did you have any physical sensations? Hal, "Um maybe more tightened—more constricted." Inv., "Did that tightness or constriction feel anywhere in particular inside your body?" Hal, "Uh no, not really, just overall." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Hal, "As I said I was envious of my brothers., and uh.. felt I wasn't uh part of the family—didn't quite fit in." Inv., "Was that new for you or was that something you felt for a long time?" Hal, "It's been a prolonged thought." Inv., "Was it any different right now when you thought about it or was it pretty well the same?" Hal, "Pretty well the same." engrossed or detached were you? 9 it Section on Parents: Inv., "As you were talking about your parents how engrossed or detached were you?" APPENDIX 245 Hal, "Quite involved in this. I was quite engrossed in—in the recollections and uh thinking back on it." Inv.,"I'm having a little trouble with what quite engrossed means to you, was it like very or somewhat or—?" Hal, "On a scale of 1 to 10, about 10." Inv., "So you were totally engrossed." "What feelings did you experience as you talked about your parents?" Hal, "Um sadness and loss. Uh.. anger., and happiness, both ends of the spectrum." Inv., "Did you have any physical sensations?" Hal, "Um maybe tightened up a bit overall, nothing really specific." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" Hal, "Um my brothers involvement of uh of bringing me up,.um.. the relationship between my Dad and my Mom." Section on Early Recollections: Inv., "As you related your early recollections, how engrossed or detached were you?" Hal, "In the few I remember I was quite engrossed—very." Inv., "What feelings did you experience?" Hal, "Uh Feelings of trying to please uh anger ...uh... hostility." Inv., "Did you have amy physical sensations?" Hal, "No not really. Just the same as before..just uh..con striction a bit." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights?" APPENDIX 246 Hal, "Just the degree of hostility I had when I was a child." Inv., "Was that something new for you today or was that some thing you were aware of before?" Hal, "Not quite so much. I knew I had it as I do now as an adult and during later chilhood but not so much when I was younger, in the 6 to 8 year range." Inv., "So that was a little bit of a surprise for you to realize that." Hal, "Um hum." Between Sessions: Inv., "It's been a week since we worked together collecting the data, did you have any reactions after last week's session?" Hal, "No. Not so much really. My job's a rather major influence in my life right now, I work ten hours a day." Anticipation of Interpretation: Inv., "Today we are going to work together towards an interpretation of that data, what thoughts or reactions did you have about coming here today to do that?" Hal, "Just a normal session is what I is any thoughts I had about it. " Interpretation Process: Inv., "As we were working through that process, how engrossed or detached were you?" Hal, "Very engrossed..very!" APPENDIX 247 Inv it What feelings did you experience? ?" • » Hal, "Um curiosity. Uh bit of sadness I guess, maybe anger ..of how my childhood went through... things I missed out on--missed out on being a child that particular area, very frustrated and angry." Inv., "Any other feelings? You mentioned curiosity, hostility, Hal, "Curiousity just to learn more about my chilhood, cuz I was—I missed so much of it, most of it is just buried very deep, out of my concious recollection." Inv., "Feels like a shadow to you. (Hal, "Yeah not even that." Not even that, more like a ghost. (Hal, "Yeah.") So it's a part of you that you would like to reconnect with— (Hal, "Yeah.") Get in touch with." "Did you have any physical sensations?" Hal, "..Um no not really, maybe a bit —a tingling sensation." Inv., "Anywhere in particular?" Hal, "Ummmm just overall." Inv., "Did you have it at any particular time? -Gan you connect it to anything we were talking about at the time?" Hal, " um most of the time really, no time in particular." Inv., "Did you have any thoughts or insights" Hal, "No not really." Inv., "I'm really interested in that tingling sensation. Do you mind if I ask you some more questions about it? (Hal, "OK.") Do you ever remember feeling that way any other time in your life— that tingly sensation?" and sadness. II APPENDIX 248 Hal, "Ummmm just like when I'm grossly self involved I guess." Inv., "Do you remember any times when you were young—as a child feeling that way?" Hal, "No not really." Inv.," You mentioned last week that there was an over all tightening up—was that different from the tingly sensation? Hal, "Um yeah." Inv., "How was it different or was it the same in anyway?" Hal, "Um actually they're both somewhat similar. 

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