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UBC Theses and Dissertations

Delayed parenthood : its problems and coping strategies Alexander, Joy 1984

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DELAYED PARENTHOOD: ITS PROBLEMS AND COPING STRATEGIES by Joy Alexander B . A . , The Univers i ty of B r i t i s h Columbia, 1968 A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS in THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES (Department of Counsel l ing Psychology) We accept th is thesis as conforming t_Q__tlie required standard THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA December, 1984 © J o y Alexander, 1984 I n p r e s e n t i n g t h i s t h e s i s i n p a r t i a l f u l f i l m e n t o f t h e r e q u i r e m e n t s f o r an a d v a n c e d d e g r e e a t t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a , I a g r e e t h a t t h e L i b r a r y s h a l l make i t f r e e l y a v a i l a b l e f o r r e f e r e n c e a n d s t u d y . I f u r t h e r a g r e e t h a t p e r m i s s i o n f o r e x t e n s i v e c o p y i n g o f t h i s t h e s i s f o r s c h o l a r l y p u r p o s e s may be g r a n t e d by t h e h e a d o f my d e p a r t m e n t o r b y h i s o r h e r r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s . I t i s u n d e r s t o o d t h a t c o p y i n g o r p u b l i c a t i o n o f t h i s t h e s i s f o r f i n a n c i a l g a i n s h a l l n o t be a l l o w e d w i t h o u t my w r i t t e n p e r m i s s i o n . D e p a r t m e n t o f T h e U n i v e r s i t y o f B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a 1956 Main Mall V a n c o u v e r , C a n a d a V6T 1Y3 D a t e 3E-6 (3/81) ABSTRACT T h i s r e s e a r c h i n v o l v e d t h e s t u d y o f f i t e e n women who had t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d a f t e r t h e age o f 30. By t h e u s e o f an h o u r a n d h a l f l o n g u n s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w i t was d i s c o v e r e d how t h e s e women e x p e r i e n c e d d e l a y e d m o t h e r h o o d , what p r o b l e m s t h e y had and t h e i r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s . F r o m t h e t r a n s c r i p t s o f t h e i n t e r v i e w s , t h e m a t e r i a l was a n a l y z e d i n t o 16 t o p i c s . From t h e s e 16 t o p i c s , 8 s p e c i f i c r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s were d e v e l o p e d t o h e l p women who d e l a y h a v i n g c h i l d r e n i n t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . The r e s e a r c h c o n c l u d e d t h a t a l t h o u g h t h e r e a r e p r o b l e m s f o r women who d e l a y h a v i n g c h i l d r e n , most women a r e c o n t e n t w i t h t h e i r d e c i s i o n . They have d e v e l o p e d s t r a t e g i e s t o c o pe w i t h t h e p r o b l e m s t h e y f a c e . i i TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT i i L I S T OF TABLES v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS v i CHAPTER ONE - Scope and F o c u s o f t h e S t u d y 1 I n t r o d u c t i o n - 1 J u s t i f i c a t i o n o f t h e S t u d y 2 P r e s u p p o s i t i o n s 4 CHAPTER TWO - R e l a t e d L i t e r a t u r e 7 I n t r o d u c t i o n 7 T r a n s i t i o n t o P a r e n t h o o d 7 Home V e r s u s C a r e e r R e s e a r c h 16 D u a l F a m i l y C a r e e r s 20 D e l a y e d P a r e n t i n g 23 Summary 26 CHAPTER THREE - M e t h o d o l o g y 28 P r o c e d u r e 28 S u b j e c t s 28 L i m i t a t i o n s 29 I n s t r u m e n t a t i o n 30 D a t a C o l l e c t i o n 32 D a t a A n a l y s i s 32 i i i CHAPTER FOUR - R e s u l t s 34 I n t r o d u c t i o n 34 T o p i c s 36 R e a s o n s f o r D e l a y i n g M o t h e r h o o d 38 R e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h Husband 44 S e l f - c o n c e p t 55 S u p p o r t G r o u p s 63 C a r e e r a n d / o r Homemaking 67 H a v i n g A n o t h e r C h i l d 73 C h i l d r e n by P r e v i o u s M a r r i a g e 75 F i n a n c e s 76 E n e r g y 78 F a m i l y 80 C h i l d r e n T h e m s e l v e s 83 O u t s i d e H e l p 86 E d u c a t i o n 88 C o n t r o l 90 R o l e s 92 A d v i c e 94 CHAPTER F I V E - C o n c l u s i o n s 99 D i s c u s s i o n o f R e s u l t s 99 I m p l i c a t i o n s f o r T h e o r y and P r a c t i c e 109 Summary 114 I m p l i c a t i o n s f o r F u t u r e R e s e a r c h 115 BIBLIOGRAPHY 117 APPENDICES 122 ' i v L I S T OF TABLES Page T a b l e 1 .- D e m o g r a p h i c I n f o r m a t i o n 35 T a b l e 2 - Themes and R e s p o n d e n t Who Spoke on Them 37 v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I w o u l d l i k e t o e x p r e s s J o h n Banmen a n d J e n n i f e r Hou s u p p o r t t h r o u g h o u t t h e w r i t i n g my s i n c e r e a p p r e c i a t i o n t o D r . s e f o r t h e i r e n c o u r a g e m e n t a n d o f t h i s r e s e a r c h . v i CHAPTER ONE Sco p e and F o c u s o f t h e S t u d y I n t r o d u c t i o n T h e r e a r e f e w e v e n t s t h a t h a v e m o r e i m p a c t on a f a m i l y t h a n t h e b i r t h o f a c h i l d . U n l i k e p r e v i o u s g e n e r a t i o n s o f 2 0 t h c e n t u r y p a r e n t s who h a d t h e i r c h i l d r e n i n t h e i r e a r l y 2 0 ' s , many o f t o d a y ' s m o t h e r s a n d f a t h e r s t e n d t o be o l d e r . A c c o r d i n g t o S t a t i s t i c s C a n a d a , t h e n u m b e r o f f i r s t t i m e m o t h e r s a t t h e a g e o f 30 was 3,504 i n 1 9 7 5 . By 1 9 8 0 , t h e n u m b e r h a d r e a c h e d 5,404, a 5 4 % i n c r e a s e d u r i n g w h i c h t h e g e n e r a l p o p u l a t i o n g r e w o n l y 4%. T h e s e m o t h e r s t e n d t o b e , on t h e a v e r a g e , b e t t e r e d u c a t e d a n d h i g h a c h i e v e r s ( P r o c a c i n i , 1 9 8 3 ) . T h i s w o u l d seem t o be s u p p o r t e d by t h e o b v i o u s f a c t t h a t t h e s e m o t h e r s h a v e h a d e i g h t t o t w e l v e y e a r s l o n g e r t o e d u c a t e t h e m s e l v e s and t o e s t a b l i s h a c a r e e r . U n t i l r e c e n t l y , d o c t o r s have e n c o u r a g e d women t o b e g i n t h e i r f a m i l i e s b e f o r e 30 f o r m e d i c a l s a f e t y . P o p u l a r w i s d o m h e l d t h a t c h i l d b e a r i n g s h o u l d be a c c o m p l i s h e d b e t w e e n 22 and 30. A t e a r l i e r o r l a t e r a g e s i t was b e l i e v e d b i o m e d i c a l r i s k s i n c r e a s e d ( R i n d f u s s & B u m p a s s , 1 9 8 0 ) . T h e s e women t h e n , who s t a r t t h e i r f a m i l i e s i n t h e i r 30's h a v e d e l a y e d h a v i n g c h i l d r e n f o r . a s l o n g a s w a s c o n s i d e r e d s a f e l y p o s s i b l e . I t w o u l d seem t h e n , t h a t t h e s e women have i n t e r e s t s o t h e r t h a n m o t h e r h o o d t o w h i c h t h e y a r e f o c u s i n g t h e i r a t t e n t i o n . T h e s e i n t e r e s t s may be c a r e e r , e d u c a t i o n a l , f i n a n c i a l o r p e r s o n a l . W h a t e v e r t h e r e a s o n s f o r d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d , t h e t r e n d has f a r - r e a c h i n g e f f e c t s on women, t h e i r c h i l d r e n a n d t h e d y n a m i c s o f a f a m i l y a s a w h o l e . I t i s e s s e n t i a l t h a t t h e r a p i s t s d e a l i n g w i t h women and f a m i l i e s have a f i r m g r a s p and u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e s e d y n a m i c s . The p u r p o s e o f t h i s s t u d y p r i m a r i l y i s t o e x p l o r e t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d u n t i l 30 f o r women t o f i n d o u t w h a t t h e p r o b l e m s ( i f a n y ) a r e a n d how t h e women c o p e w i t h them. S e c o n d l y , t h e p u r p o s e i s t o i d e n t i f y r e c u r r i n g t h e m e s and p a t t e r n s t h a t o c c u r i n t h i s e x p e r i e n c e . J u s t i f i c a t i o n o f t h e S t u d y The t r e n d t o d e l a y f i r s t b i r t h s i s a f a i r l y r e c e n t p h e n o m e n o n . I t i s one o f t h e c h a n g e s t h a t h a s l o n g - t e r m e f f e c t s o n t h e l i f e c y c l e o f a f a m i l y ( R o d g e r s , 1 9 8 3 ) . H o w e v e r , as W i l k i e (1983) r e p o r t s , a l m o s t a l l t h e r e s e a r c h on b i r t h t i m i n g c o n c e r n s e a r l y f i r s t b i r t h s . Much l e s s i s known a b o u t t h e e f f e c t s o f d e l a y e d f i r s t b i r t h s and p a r e n t h o o d . The r e s e a r c h t h a t has been done i s o f a q u a n t i t a t i v e , r a t h e r 2 t h a n a q u a l i t a t i v e n a t u r e . P r o c a c i n i ( 1 9 8 3 ) r e p o r t s t h a t women who w a i t u n t i l t h i r t y t o h a v e t h e i r c h i l d r e n e x p e r i e n c e a d d e d s t r e s s a n d a n x i e t y . He h a s c o n d u c t e d many b u r n o u t w o r k s h o p s f o r p r o f e s s i o n a l s a n d h a s n o t i c e d a s i m i l a r i t y i n s y m p t o m s o f a n x i e t y b e t w e e n t h e s e p r o f e s s i o n a l s and p a r e n t s . P a r e n t s , he f e e l s , a r e r e a c t i n g t o t h e i r d e m a n d i n g r o l e a s p a r e n t s . He s t a t e s t h a t many o l d e r m o t h e r s a r e l e s s r e s i l i e n t t o t h e r e a l i t i e s o f c h i l d r e a r i n g . A f t e r t h e i n i t i a l e u p h o r i a o f b i r t h s u b s i d e s , many o l d e r women f e e l an i n c r e a s i n g need t o be on t h e i r own w h i c h , i n t u r n , s t i r s up g u i l t f o r b e i n g n e g l e c t f u l p a r e n t s . I f t h e p r e s s u r e s c o n t i n u e , t h e y may r e a c h a s t a g e o f c h r o n i c d i s e n c h a n t m e n t and a g r o w i n g l a c k o f d e s i r e t o c o n t i n u e c h i l d r e a r i n g . O t h e r p r o f e s s i o n a l s h a v e a l s o w i t n e s s e d e x a m p l e s o f p a r e n t b u r n o u t . Wideman ( M c Q u a i g , 1983) s t a t e s t h a t t h e r e a r e t w i c e a s many women a w e e k c o m i n g i n t o t h e C M . H i n k s T r e a t m e n t C e n t r e t h a n t e n y e a r s ago. He f e e l s t h i s i s due t o a r o m a n t i c i z e d v i e w o f p a r e n t h o o d h e l d by o l d e r m o t h e r s . What i s n e e d e d i s an i n - d e p t h l o o k a t t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f d e l a y e d m o t h e r h o o d f r o m t h e m o t h e r ' s p o i n t o f v i e w . By u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e e x p e r i e n c e f o r t h e women, t h e c o u n s e l l o r w i l l have a b e t t e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e f a m i l y e x p e r i e n c e as a w h o l e . By d i s c o v e r i n g t h e p r o b l e m s t h a t t h e s e women h a v e , and t h e i r means o f c o p i n g , c o u n s e l l o r s w i l l be b e t t e r e q u i p p e d t o 3 h e l p . M o r e o v e r , a s M e n a g h a n ( 1 9 8 2 ) r e p o r t s , by f o c u s i n g a t t e n t i o n l a r g e l y on c o n d i t i o n s t h a t a r e p o s s i b l y h a r m f u l , s o c i a l s c i e n c e h a s l e f t k n o w l e d g e a b o u t c o p i n g t o c l i n i c a l w o r k e r s . T h i s h a s u n d e r s t a n d a b l y r e s u l t e d i n a d i s t i n c t t e n d e n c y t o r e g a r d c o p i n g a s an i n d i v i d u a l d e f e n s e , when i n f a c t , t h e r e a r e c o p i n g modes. By f o c u s i n g on t h e c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s o f t h e s e women, p a t t e r n s w i l l a p p e a r t h a t may a i d c o u n s e l l i n g p rogrammes. P r e s u p p o s i t i o n s The a p p r o a c h t o t h i s r e s e a r c h w i l l be a c a s e s t u d y a p p r o a c h . A c a s e s t u d y i s a " s t u d y o f a b o u n d e d s y s t e m e m p h a s i z i n g t h e u n i t y a n d w h o l e n e s s o f t h a t s y s t e m b u t c o n f i n i n g t h e a t t e n t i o n t o t h o s e a s p e c t s t h a t a r e r e l e v a n t t o t h e r e s e a r c h p r o b l e m s a t t h e t i m e " ( S t a k e , 1980, p. 1). I n k e e p i n g w i t h t h e u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h a t r e s e a r c h e r s i n e v i t a b l y i n f l u e n c e t h e f o r m and c o n t e n t o f t h e i r f i n d i n g s , t h e p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s o f t h e r e s e a r c h e r s h o u l d be o u t l i n e d . T h e r e s e a r c h e r ' s p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s a r e b a s e d on o b s e r v a t i o n s made w h i l e c o n d u c t i n g two m o t h e r s ' g r o u p s - one i n a K e r r i s d a l e r e s i d e n t i a l s e t t i n g a n d t h e o t h e r a t t h e d o w n t o w n c o r e l o c a t i o n o f t h e Y.W.C.A. The p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s a r e : A 1. A l t h o u g h m a ny w o m e n who d e l a y t h e m o t h e r h o o d e x p e r i e n c e a d j u s t m e n t p r o b l e m s , m o s t o f t h e m a r e e s s e n t i a l l y c o n t e n t w i t h t h e i r d e c i s i o n ; 2. Many o f t h e s e women d i s c o v e r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s t h a t a r e w o r t h s h a r i n g w i t h o t h e r s i n t h e same s i t u a t i o n ; 3. Women f e e l a " l o s s o f y o u t h " a r o u n d 30. T h i s a g i n g f e e l i n g i s i n t e n s i f i e d by h a v i n g c h i l d r e n a t t h i s t i m e ; 4. T h e r e i s a r a d i c a l a l t e r a t i o n o f s e l f - c o n c e p t when women h a v e c h i l d r e n l a t e r i n l i f e , f r o m a c a p a b l e w o r k i n g p e r s o n t o a m i d d l e - a g e d h o u s e w i f e ; 5. Once one has c h i l d r e n , t h e d e c i s i o n i s i r r e v e r s i b l e - so women who w a i t a r e c o n t e n t w i t h t h e d e c i s i o n ; 6. T h e r e i s a g r e a t d e a l o f " e g o " i n v o l v e d i n r a i s i n g c h i l d r e n when y o u a r e o l d e r . Women who h a v e b e e n s u c c e s s f u l a t c a r e e r o r e d u c a t i o n a l p u r s u i t s f i n d t h e " i r r a t i o n a l i t y " o f r a i s i n g c h i l d r e n p a r t i c u l a r l y f r u s t r a t i n g . U n l i k e many w o r k s i t u a t i o n s , t h e y c a n n o t c o n t r o l a l l t h e v a r i a b l e s ; 7. T h e c o n f l i c t o f home v e r s u s c a r e e r i s n o t a s p r e v a l e n t as t h e m e d i a p r e s e n t s i t . The c o n f l i c t i s b a s e d more on f a m i l y t i m e v e r s u s own t i m e ; and 8. F i n a n c i a l s e c u r i t y p l a y s a m a j o r r o l e i n t h e s a t i s f a c t i o n o f women d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d . The j u s t i f i c a t i o n o f t h i s s t u d y was, t h e r e f o r e , b a s e d on t h e a s s u m p t i o n t h a t t h i s i n c r e a s i n g t r e n d t o h a v e c h i l d r e n l a t e r i n l i f e w i l l h a v e l o n g - t e r m , f a r - r e a c h i n g e f f e c t s on t h e f a m i l y as a w h o l e , i n t e r m s o f t h e l i f e - c y c l e , p a r e n t i n g a t t i t u d e s and m a r i t a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s . By l o o k i n g a t d e l a y e d m o t h e r h o o d f r o m t h e woman's p o i n t o f v i e w , an u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f how she v i e w s t h e e x p e r i e n c e , what p r o b l e m s she f a c e s , and he r means o f c o p i n g c a n be o b t a i n e d . T h i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g w i l l h e l p f a m i l y c o u n s e l l o r s i n t h e i r programme. 5 The f o l l o w i n g r e v i e w o f t h e l i t e r a t u r e i n d i c a t e s t h a t t h e b i r t h o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d h a s l o n g been s e e n as e x t r e m e l y s i g n i f i c a n t i n a woman's l i f e . 6 CHAPTER TWO R e l a t e d L i t e r a t u r e I n t r o d u c t i o n D e l a y e d m o t h e r h o o d h a s b e e n i n c r e a s i n g f o r m o r e t h a n a d e c a d e . R e s e a r c h d e a l i n g s p e c i f i c a l l y w i t h women o v e r t h i r t y h a v i n g c h i l d r e n , h o w e v e r , i s r e l a t i v e l y s c a r c e . I t i s a p p r o p r i a t e t h e n t o l o o k f i r s t a t t h e r e s e a r c h c o n c e r n i n g t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d i n more g e n e r a l t e r m s . T r a n s i t i o n t o P a r e n t h o o d B e c o m i n g a p a r e n t i s one o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t e v e n t s m a r k i n g t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o a d u l t h o o d ( R o s s i , 1 9 6 8 ) . I t i s a s i g n i f i c a n t , i r r e v o c a b l e , a n d s o m e t i m e d i f f i c u l t r o l e t r a n s i t i o n w i t h f a r - r a n g i n g i m p l i c a t i o n s f o r f a m i l y o r g a n i z a t i o n , t h e m a r i t a l r e l a t i o n s h i p a n d m any o t h e r f u n d a m e n t a l a s p e c t s o f e v e r y d a y l i f e ( M c L a u g h l i n & M i c k l i n , 1 9 83). The t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d r e s e a r c h was f i r s t l o o k e d a t as a c r i s i s s i t u a t i o n . I n 1957, t h e r e s e a r c h o f Le M a s t e r s b a s e d on a n o n - p r o b a b i l i t y s a m p l e o f 46 m i d d l e - c l a s s c o u p l e s , w h o s e f i r s t c h i l d h a d b e e n b o r n w i t h i n t h e p r e v i o u s f i v e y e a r s , i n d i c a t e d t h a t t h i s b i r t h had p r e c i p i t a t e d an e x t e n s i v e o r s e v e r e c r i s i s f o r 83%. The c r i s i s was s u c h t h a t i t f o r c e d 7 a r e o r g a n i z a t i o n o f t h e f a m i l y a s a s o c i a l s y s t e m , s t a t u s p o s i t i o n s s h i f t e d , v a l u e s r e o r i e n t e d , a n d n e e d w e r e met t h r o u g h new c h a n n e l s . The r e s e a r c h a l s o s u g g e s t e d t h a t t h i s c r i s i s o c c u r r e d even when t h e p r e g n a n c i e s w e re w a n t e d , w h e t h e r t h e m a r r i a g e was r a t e d as "good" o r " p o o r " and t o c o u p l e s who h a d a n a v e r a g e o r a b o v e a v e r a g e p e r s o n a l i t y a d j u s t m e n t . I t w a s s u g g e s t e d t h a t t h e c o u p l e s a p p e a r e d t o h a v e a " r o m a n t i c i z e d " v i e w o f p a r e n t h o o d . The r e s e a r c h e r c o n c l u d e d t h a t a l o o k a t t h e e i g h t f a m i l i e s who d i d n o t v i e w t h e t r a n s i t i o n a s a c r i s i s , a n d o t h e r s w i t h s i m i l a r r e a c t i o n s , s h o u l d be a n a l y z e d t o d e t e r m i n e w h a t f a c t o r s m ade t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d e a s i e r f o r them. Dyer's d a t a ( 1 9 6 3 ) , f r o m much t h e same k i n d o f s a m p l e (32 m i d d l e - c l a s s c o u p l e s w h o s e f i r s t b o r n was n o t o v e r t w o y e a r s o l d ) , l e d t o s i m i l a r c o n c l u s i o n s . F i f t y - t h r e e p e r c e n t e x p e r i e n c e d e x t e n s i v e o r s e v e r e c r i s i s ( a s h a r p d e c i s i v e c h a n g e f o r w h i c h o l d p a t t e r n s a r e i n a d e q u a t e ) ; a n o t h e r 3 8 % e x p e r i e n c e d m o d e r a t e c r i s i s . A L i k e r t - t y p e s c a l e was u s e d t o m e a s u r e t h e c r i s i s d i m e n s i o n . S i g n i f i c a n t n e g a t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s were o b s e r v e d b e t w e e n d e g r e e o f c r i s i s and (1) m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t , ( 2 ) n u m b e r o f y e a r s m a r r i e d , a n d ( 3 ) h a v i n g p l a n n e d f o r p a r e n t h o o d . The u n i v e r s i t y e d u c a t e d h u s b a n d s w e r e s i g n i f i c a n t l y m o r e l i k e l y t o h a v e r e p o r t e d d i f f i c u l t i e s t h a n t h o s e w i t h l e s s e d u c a t i o n . The s t u d y 8 c o n c l u d e d t h a t r e s e a r c h o f f a m i l i e s t h a t e x p e r i e n c e d g r e a t e r a n d l e s s e r c r i s i s i s n e e d e d t o a s c e r t a i n w h a t f a c i l i t a t e s e a s i e r t r a n s i t i o n . U s i n g a p r o b a b i l i t y s a m p l e t a k e n f r o m b i r t h r e c o r d s , H o b b s ( 1 9 6 5 ) i n v e s t i g a t e d t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d o f 53 c o u p l e s . B a b i e s w e r e b e t w e e n 3 a n d 18 w e e k s . None o f t h e c o u p l e s r e p o r t e d a s e v e r e c r i s i s r e a c t i o n , 8 6 % r e p o r t e d a s l i g h t c r i s i s a n d 1 3 % r e p o r t e d a m o d e r a t e c r i s i s r e a c t i o n . T h e r e was no c o r r e l a t i o n f o u n d b e t w e e n t h e s c o r e o f t h e h u s b a n d a n d t h a t o f h i s w i f e . None o f t h e v a r i a b l e s w h i c h D y e r f o u n d t o be a s s o c i a t e d w i t h d i f f i c u l t i e s i n b e c o m i n g a p a r e n t w e re c o n f i r m e d by t h e s t u d y . The r e s e a r c h e r c o n c l u d e d t h a t more p r e c i s e i n s t r u m e n t a t i o n f o r i n d e x i n g t h e a d v e n t o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d was n e eded w i t h l a r g e r s a m p l e s t h a n Le M a s t e r s a n d D y e r u s e d . F u r t h e r , t h e r e s e a r c h e r a c k n o w l e d g e d a d i f f i c u l t y i n c o m p a r i n g t h e work w i t h t h a t o f Le M a s t e r s and Dyer b e c a u s e o f t h e d i s c r e p a n c i e s i n t h e age o f t h e c h i l d . H o b b s ( 1 9 6 6 ) l a t e r s t u d i e d 27 s i m i l a r c o u p l e s u s i n g t w o m e t h o d s o f i n s t r u m e n t a t i o n , t h e c h e c k l i s t a n d a r e l a t i v e l y u n s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w . W h i l e t h e i n t e r v i e w p r o v i d e d a c o n s i d e r a b l y b r o a d e r r a n g e o f s c o r e s , s i g n i f i c a n t c o r r e l a t i o n s were f o u n d b e t w e e n t h e s c o r e s u s i n g t h e two i n s t r u m e n t s . The r e s e a r c h f i n d i n g s r e p l i c a t e d much o f H o b b s ' o r i g i n a l w o r k , f i n d i n g t h a t t h e a d d i t i o n o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d i s a p e r i o d o f a d j u s t m e n t w h i c h i s s o m e w h a t s t r e s s f u l , b u t n o t a c r i s i s s i t u a t i o n . The r e s e a r c h e r a l s o c o n c l u d e d t h a t t h e p a r e n t s ' d i f f i c u l t y i n a d j u s t i n g t o t h e f i r s t c h i l d i s n o t s i g n i f i c a n t l y c o r r e l a t e d t o t h e b a b y ' s a g e . The d i f f i c u l t y s c o r e s o f t h e p a r e n t s and m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t s c o r e s ( u s i n g t h e L a c k - W a l l a c e A d j u s t m e n t S c a l e , 1 9 5 9 ) w e r e n o t s i g n i f i c a n t l y r e l a t e d on t h e c h e c k l i s t b u t w e re i n t h e i n t e r v i e w . J a c o b y ( 1 9 6 8 ) r e p o r t s on B e a u c h a m p ' s c o m p a r i s o n o f t h e h i g h l y s t r u c t u r e d m e t h o d s o f m e a s u r i n g c r i s i s . D a t a w e r e r e p o r t e d f o r 27 m a r r i e d s t u d e n t c o u p l e s . I n a l l c a s e s t h e f a t h e r was a s t u d e n t , t h e m a r r i a g e was u n b r o k e n , t h e p a r e n t s o f t h e h u s b a n d a n d w i f e r e s p o n d e n t s h a d m i d d l e - c l a s s o c c u p a t i o n s , and t h e f i r s t b o r n was b e t w e e n f i v e months and s i x y e a r s ( m e a n age was t w o y e a r s , f o u r m o n t h s ) . The e x t e n t t o w h i c h t h e a r r i v a l o f t h e c h i l d c r e a t e d p r o b l e m s f o r B e a u c h a m p ' s r e s p o n d e n t s was d e t e r m i n e d i n t w o w a y s : ( 1 ) a s e m i - s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w w i t h b o t h p a r e n t s ( a p p r o x i m a t i n g Le M a s t e r s ' a p p r o a c h ) ; ( 2 ) a s t r u c t u r e d q u e s t i o n n a i r e o f 36 i t e m s a d m i n i s t e r e d t o t h e h u s b a n d a n d w i f e s e p a r a t e l y ( d u p l i c a t i n g H o b b s ' a n d D y e r ' s a p p r o a c h ) . E i g h t e e n c o u p l e s were i n t e r v i e w e d and t h e q u e s t i o n n a i r e was a d m i n i s t e r e d t o 19 c o u p l e s . I n v i e w o f t h e m a j o r d i s c r e p a n c y b e t w e e n Le M a s t e r s and H o b b s , B e a u c h a m p was s u r p r i s e d t o f i n d t h a t r o u g h l y s i m i l a r r e s u l t s ( i n a p o s i t i o n b e t w e e n t h e two e x t r e m e s ) were y i e l d e d by t h e s e two d i f f e r e n t t e c h n i q u e s . 10 I n r e v i e w i n g t h e l i t e r a t u r e on t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d t o d a t e , J a c o b y ( 1 9 6 9 ) s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e r e a s o n s f o r t h e c o n t r a d i c t i o n s i n t h e l i t e r a t u r e a r e : 1. l a c k o f a s t a n d a r d i z e d method f o r what c o n s t i t u t e s a c r i s i s ; and 2. t h e r e l a t i v e l y s m a l l s a m p l e s s t u d i e d i n t h e r e s e a r c h o f L e M a s t e r s a n d D y e r do n o t i n c l u d e a l l c l a s s e s ( t h e l o w e r c l a s s a p p a r e n t l y i s b e t t e r e q u i p p e d t o make t h e t r a n s i t i o n ) . J a c o b y ( 1 9 6 9 ) f u r t h e r s t a t e s t h a t f u t u r e r e s e a r c h n e e d s t o l o o k a t t h e p o s i t i v e , as w e l l as t h e n e g a t i v e , a s p e c t s o f t h e t r a n s i t i o n . W i t h t h i s v i e w p o i n t i n m i n d , R u s s e l l (1974) u s e d a random s a m p l e o f u r b a n c o u p l e s w i t h H o b b s ' c r i s i s c h e c k l i s t , a g r a t i f i c a t i o n c h e c k l i s t and t h e L o c k - W a l l a c e (1959) S h o r t Form t o m e a s u r e m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t . She f o u n d t h a t t h e f a c t o r s a f f e c t i n g c r i s i s f o r women w e r e : 1. m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t ; 2. w h e t h e r t h e p r e g n a n c y was p l a n n e d ( t h i s f a c t o r was s t r o n g e r f o r women who had been w o r k i n g ) ; 3. l e n g t h o f m a r r i a g e ; a n d , 4. h e a l t h o f m o t h e r . The f a c t o r s a f f e c t i n g t h e g r a t i f i c a t i o n w e r e : 1. s a l i e n c y o f m o t h e r r o l e ; 2. m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t ; and 3. e d u c a t i o n ( i n v e r s e e f f e c t ) . The r e s e a r c h e r s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e i n v e r s e r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n 11 e d u c a t i o n a n d g r a t i f i c a t i o n i s b e c a u s e w i t h m o r e e d u c a t i o n , p e o p l e d i s c o v e r a l t e r n a t i v e r o u t e s t o s e l f - f u l f i l l m e n t and p u t l e s s i m p o r t a n c e on t h e i r r o l e s as p a r e n t s . The d a t a o f R u s s e l l ' s r e s e a r c h f u r t h e r s u g g e s t t h a t t h e age and t i m i n g o f p a r e n t h o o d i n t h e m a r i t a l c a r e e r o f a woman may be r e l a t e d t o t h e l e v e l o f g r a t i f i c a t i o n s h e i n i t i a l l y r e c e i v e s f r o m t h e p a r e n t a l r o l e . I t may be t h a t y o u n g women n e e d t i m e t o a d j u s t t o t h e i r m a r r i a g e o r m a t u r e a s p e r s o n s b e f o r e b e c o m i n g p a r e n t s , w h i l e o l d e r women, f o r r e a s o n s o f s t a m i n a o r p a t i e n c e , e n j o y t h e i r c h i l d r e n more i f t h e y do n o t d e l a y p a r e n t h o o d t o o l o n g a f t e r m a r r i a g e . I t i s a l s o p o s s i b l e t h a t o l d e r m a r r i e d s d e l a y e d h a v i n g c h i l d r e n b e c a u s e o f an a m b i v a l e n c e a b o u t p a r e n t h o o d . S t e f f e n s m e i r (1982) i n t e r v i e w e d 54 m a r r i e d c o u p l e s whose f i r s t c h i l d w a s b e t w e e n t h r e e a n d f i v e m o n t h s o l d a n d c l a s s i f i e d h i s d a t a i n t e r m s o f ( 1 ) p a r e n t a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , ( 2 ) p a r e n t a l g r a t i f i c a t i o n , a n d ( 3 ) m a r i t a l i n t i m a c y . He f o u n d s u p p o r t f o r f o u r o f h i s f i v e h y p o t h e s i s : 1. p e r c e i v e d r o l e c o n f l i c t w i l l h a v e a p o s i t i v e e f f e c t on t h e d e g r e e o f d i f f i c u l t y o f t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d ; 2. r o l e c l a r i t y w i l l h a v e a n e g a t i v e e f f e c t on t h e d i f f i c u l t y o f t r a n s i t i o n . H i g h e r e d u c a t e d p e o p l e have l e s s r o l e c l a r i t y ; 3. a n t i c i p a t o r y s o c i a l i z a t i o n w i l l h a v e a n e g a t i v e e f f e c t on t h e d e g r e e o f d i f f i c u l t y o f t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d ; and 4. e d u c a t i o n w i l l h a v e a p o s i t i v e e f f e c t on t h e d e g r e e 12 o f d i f f i c u l t y - e v i d e n c e s u p p o r t e d t h i s f o r women b u t n o t as s t r o n g l y f o r men. The r e s e a r c h e r ' s f i f t h h y p o t h e s i s , t h a t women w o u l d f i n d a g r e a t e r d e g r e e o f d i f f i c u l t y i n t h e t r a n s i t i o n t h a n men (women b e a r i n g t h e l a r g e r b u r d e n o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ) was u n s u p p o r t e d . The r e s e a r c h e r s u r m i s e d t h a t women h a v e a g r e a t e r d e g r e e o f r o l e c l a r i t y a n d a n t i c i p a t o r y s o c i a l i z a t i o n a n d a g r e a t e r d e g r e e o f s e l e c t i v e p e r c e p t i o n . M c L a u g h l i n a n d M i c k l i n ( 1 9 8 3 ) h a v e r e p o r t e d t h a t t h e d i s c r e p a n c y b e t w e e n t h e two s c h o o l s o f t h o u g h t , t h o s e t h a t s e e t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d a s a c r i s i s ( D y e r , 1 9 6 3 ; Le M a s t e r , 1 9 5 7 ) a n d o t h e r s t h a t s e e t h e f i r s t b i r t h a s no m o r e t h a n a s l i g h t t e m p o r a r y d i s r u p t i o n t o f a m i l y l i f e (Beauchamp, 1 9 6 8 ; F e l d m a n , 1 9 7 1 ; H o b b s , 1 9 6 5 , 1 9 6 8 ; H o b b s & C o l e , 1 9 7 6 ; M e y e r o w i t z & F e l d m a n , 1966; R u s s e l l , 1974) l i e s i n t h e t i m i n g o f t h e f i r s t b i r t h . They f o u n d among e q u a l l y e d u c a t e d women f r o m e q u i v a l e n t s o c i o - e c o n o m i c b a c k g r o u n d s t h a t t h e o c c u r r e n c e o f a f i r s t b i r t h by a g e 18 r e s u l t s i n a d e c r e a s e i n p e r c e i v e d p e r s o n a l e f f i c a c y . A f t e r a g e e i g h t e e n ( t h e mean age o f t h i s s e c o n d g r o u p was 20.6), n e i t h e r t h e t i m i n g o f t h e f i r s t b i r t h n o r t h e o c c u r r e n c e o f t h a t b i r t h a p p e a r s t o e f f e c t p e r s o n a l e f f i c a c y . The r e s e a r c h e r s h y p o t h e s i z e ( b a s e d on R o t l e r , 1966) t h a t t h e h i g h e r l e v e l s o f c o m p l e t e d f e r t i l i t y a n d s h o r t e r s p a c i n g o f s e c o n d c h i l d c a n be l i n k e d t o p o o r c o n t r a c e p t i v e p r a c t i c e w h i c h , i n t u r n , may r e f l e c t a l a c k o f p e r c e i v e d 13 c o n t r o l o v e r t h e f u t u r e a n d e n v i r o n m e n t . M o r e o v e r , l o w e r l e v e l s o f o c c u p a t i o n a l a t t a i n m e n t a n d e a r n i n g may be c o n s e q u e n c e s o f t h e f a i l u r e t o c a p i t a l i z e on o p p o r t u n i t i e s o r r e c o g n i z e t h e i m p o r t a n c e o f a c h i e v e m e n t . The common v a r i a b l e l i n k i n g t h e s e o u t c o m e s may be l o w l e v e l o f p e r c e i v e d p e r s o n a l e f f i c a c y . A l t h o u g h m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n has f i g u r e d i n much o f t h e c r i s i s - b a s e d l i t e r a t u r e on t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d , i t i s a l s o d i s c u s s e d i n t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d r e s e a r c h i n l o n g i t u d i n a l t e r m s . I n a s t u d y o f t h e e f f e c t t h a t h a v i n g a c h i l d has on m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n , R y d e r (1973) c o l l e c t e d p r e -t e s t a n d p o s t - t e s t s c o r e s u s i n g t h e L o c k e - W a l l a c e ( 1 9 5 9 ) M a r i t a l A d j u s t m e n t S c a l e . H i s w o r k s e e m s t o c o n c u r w i t h o t h e r s ( C h r i s t e n s e n , 1 9 6 8 ; F e l d m a n , 1 9 7 1 ; F e l d m a n & R o g o f f , 1968; L u c k e y & B a i n , 1970; M e y e r o w i t z & F e l d m a n , 1966; R o s s i , 1 9 6 8 ; R u s s e l l , 1 9 7 4 ) t h a t many c o u p l e s , p a r t i c u l a r l y w i v e s , e x p e r i e n c e a d e c r e a s e i n m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n upon t h e a r r i v a l o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d . W a l d r o n a n d R o u t h ( 1 9 8 1 ) i n t h e i r w o r k t r i e d t o show t h a t t h i s d e c r e a s e i n m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n was l i n k e d t o s e x r o l e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . T h e y u s e d t h e L o c k e -W a l l a c e M a r i t a l A d j u s t m e n t S c a l e a n d t h e Bern S e x R o l e I n v e n t o r y t o t r y t o f i n d a c o r r e l a t i o n b e t w e e n t h e two. They w e r e u n a b l e t o do t h i s b u t f e l t t h i s d i d n o t m e a n a r e l a t i o n s h i p d i d n o t e x i s t . F o r e x a m p l e , i f i t were t h e c a s e t h a t t h e w i v e s ' m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n a f t e r t h e b i r t h o f t h e 14 baby depended on how much t h e h u s b a n d h e l p e d a r o u n d t h e hous e w i t h t r a d i t i o n a l l y " f e m a l e " d u t i e s , t h i s m i g h t n o t be r e l a t e d t o t h e i r husband's f e m i n i n i t y s c o r e s on t h e Bern q u e s t i o n n a i r e . The i t e m s on t h e f e m i n i n i t y s c a l e i n c l u d e , m o r e g e n e r a l f e m i n i n e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , s u c h a s y i e l d i n g , f 1 a 1 1 e r a b i 1 i t y , s o f t - s p o k e n e s s and g u l l i b i l i t y ; n o t more s p e c i f i c i t e m s s u c h a s , ' does t h e l a u n d r y , ' ' c h a n g e s d i a p e r s ' o r 'makes m e a l s . ' T h e y c o n c l u d e f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h i s n e c e s s a r y t o f i n d o u t t h e r e a s o n s f o r t h e d e c r e a s e i n m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n e x p e r i e n c e d w i t h t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . B e l s k y , S p a n i e r a n d R o v i n e ( 1 9 8 3 ) s t u d i e d 72 v o l u n t e e r f a m i l i e s i n a l o n g i t u d i n a l i n v e s t i g a t i o n . The c o u p l e s w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d and a d m i n i s t e r e d i n d i v i d u a l q u e s t i o n n a i r e s a t t h e l a s t t r i m e s t e r o f p r e g n a n c y a n d t h e t h i r d a n d n i n t h m o n t h s p o s t p a r t u m . The r e s u l t s s how m a r i t a l q u a l i t y d e c l i n e s f o l l o w i n g t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d a n d t h i s d e c l i n e c o n t i n u e s a s a d d i t i o n a l c h i l d r e n a r e a d d e d . The r e s e a r c h e r o f f e r s l i t t l e t h o u g h t f o r t h e r e a s o n s o r c a u s e s b e h i n d t h i s d e c r e a s e i n s a t i s f a c t i o n . I n s u m m a r y , t h e n , t h e r e s e a r c h on t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d a l t h o u g h f a i r l y e x t e n s i v e i s a l s o c o n t r a d i c t o r y and i n c o n c l u s i v e . T h e r e seems t o be c o n s e n s u s t h a t t h e t r a n s i t i o n r e p r e s e n t s a p e r i o d o f a d j u s t m e n t b u t w h e t h e r t h i s a d j u s t m e n t c o n s t i t u t e s a c r i s i s i s d e b a t a b l e . F a c t o r s t h a t a i d o r h i n d e r 15 t h i s t r a n s i t i o n a r e n o t c l e a r l y u n d e r s t o o d - some c o u p l e s a p p e a r t o " w e a t h e r t h e t r a n s i t i o n " m o r e e a s i l y t h a n o t h e r s , b u t a l l a p p e a r t o r e p o r t some d e c r e a s e i n m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n w i t h i t . Home V e r s u s C a r e e r R e s e a r c h The s e c o n d a r e a i n t h e l i t e r a t u r e t h a t h a s an i m p a c t on d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d i s t h a t o f home v e r s u s c a r e e r . Many o f t h e women who d e l a y m o t h e r h o o d u n t i l t h i r t y w i l l c h o o s e t o c o n t i n u e w o r k i n g f u l l - t i m e o r p a r t - t i m e , w h i l e o t h e r s w i l l d i s c o n t i n u e t h e i r c a r e e r and become f u l l - t i m e homemakers. As women c o n s i d e r t h e p r e s s u r e s o f t h e p a s t ( t o s t a y a t home and be a c o n s t a n t v i s i b l e f o r c e ) a n d t h e e m e r g i n g c o n c e p t t o a c h i e v e e m p l o y m e n t o u t s i d e t h e home, t h e y a r e f a c e d w i t h a d e m a n d i n g c h o i c e ( R o b i n s o n , R o t l e r , W i l s o n , 1983). I t i s r e l e v a n t , t h e r e f o r e , t o i n c l u d e t h i s a r e a i n t h e l i t e r a t u r e r e v i e w . H e r e a g a i n , h o w e v e r , v e r y l i t t l e o f t h e r e s e a r c h f o c u s e s s p e c i f i c a l l y on women o v e r t h i r t y , so t h e f o l l o w i n g i s a r e v i e w o f t h e l i t e r a t u r e i n more g e n e r a l t e r m s . Nye ( 1 9 6 3 ) i n v e s t i g a t e d s a t i s f a c t i o n b e t w e e n e m p l o y e d v e r s u s n o n - e m p l o y e d women i n s e v e n m a j o r a r e a s o f l i f e : i n c o m e , h o u s i n g , r e c r e a t i o n , c h i l d r e n , m a r r i a g e , c o m m u n i t y , and one's d a i l y work. The r e s e a r c h ( b a s e d on i n t e r v i e w s w i t h 2 , 3 0 0 m o t h e r s r e s i d i n g i n s m a l l t o w n s i n t h e S t a t e o f 16 W a s h i n g t o n ) s h o w e d t h a t women e m p l o y e d f u l l - t i m e f i n d m o re s a t i s f a c t i o n i n t h e i r w o r k t h a n n o n - e m p l o y e d women f i n d i n t h e i r h o u s e w o r k , t h a t h o u s e w i v e s w e r e l e s s s a t i s f i e d w i t h t h e i r c o m m u n i t y , b u t t h a t h o u s e w i v e s ' m a r r i a g e s w e r e b e t t e r a d j u s t e d . The d a t a s u g g e s t o n l y a s l i g h t t e n d e n c y t o g r e a t e r o v e r a l l s a t i s f a c t i o n f o r women w i t h j o b s o u t s i d e t h e home. F e r r e e (1976) s t u d i e d 135 m a r r i e d , p r e d o m i n a n t l y m i d d l e -c l a s s women i n t h e B o s t o n a r e a and f o u n d f u l l - t i m e h o u s e w i v e s , w i t h c h i l d r e n , b u t n o t p r e s c h o o l a g e , w e r e m o r e l i k e l y t o be d i s s a t i s f i e d w i t h t h e way t h e y w e r e s p e n d i n g t h e i r l i v e s ( 2 6 % v e r s u s 1 4 % o f t h e e m p l o y e d w o m e n ) , f e l t t h a t t h e y d i d n o t h a v e a f a i r o p p o r t u n i t y i n l i f e ( 4 7 % v e r s u s 3 8 % ) , and w a n t e d t h e i r d a u g h t e r s t o be d i f f e r e n t ( 3 5 % v e r s u s 2 2 % ) . W r i g h t ( 1 9 7 8 ) s t a t e s t h a t t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s f o u n d by F e r r e e w e r e b a s e d on a l i m i t e d s a m p l e a n d w e r e n o t v e r y s h a r p . He t r i e d t o r e p l i c a t e t h e f i n d i n g s u s i n g l a r g e n a t i o n a l s u r v e y s . He f a i l e d t o do s o . He was u n a b l e t o s u b s t a n t i a t e t h a t h o u s e w i v e s w e r e c o m p a r a t i v e l y d i s s a t i s f i e d w i t h t h e i r l i v e s . The d a t a showed t h a t b o t h work and h o u s e k e e p i n g r o l e s h ave c o s t s and b e n e f i t s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h them. H o u s e k n e c h t a n d M a c k e ( 1 9 8 1 ) f o u n d i n a s a m p l e o f 663 women o f h i g h l e v e l g r a d u a t e d e g r e e s s u p p o r t f o r a r o l e t h e o r y i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . T h e y p r o p o s e t h a t i t i s n o t s i m p l y a m a t t e r o f w h e t h e r o r n o t a woman w o r k s , b u t t h e e x t e n t t o w h i c h t h a t b e h a v i o u r v i o l a t e s r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s . F e m a l e s w i t h h i g h l e v e l 17 d e g r e e s a r e e x p e c t e d t o make use o f t h e i r t r a i n i n g and p u r s u e t h e i r c a r e e r s . F u r t h e r , i t i s n o t t h e e m p l o y e d s t a t u s p e r se t h a t i s i m p o r t a n t i n d e t e r m i n i n g m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t , b u t s u c h f a c t o r s a s , h a v i n g a s u p p o r t i v e h u s b a n d and f r e e d o m f r o m c h i l d r e a r i n g r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s . Behrman (1980) l o o k e d a t 78 c o u p l e s who w e r e m a k i n g p l a n s t o h a v e a c h i l d t o d i s c o v e r how a n d why t h e women w o u l d c h o o s e one o f t h r e e r o u t e s : ( 1 ) t o r e m a i n f u l l - t i m e i n t h e l a b o u r f o r c e , ( 2 ) t o b e c o m e a f u l l - t i m e h o m e m a k e r , o r ( 3 ) t o w o r k p a r t - t i m e . She f o u n d t h e r e w e r e t h r e e m i t i g a t i n g g r o u p s o f f a c t o r s - s i t u a t i o n a l , a t t i t u d i n a l , a n d p e r s o n a l i t y . The c o u p l e s w e r e , f o r t h e most p a r t , homogeneous i n t e r m s o f age, r e l i g i o n , m a r i t a l s t a t u s , and o c c u p a t i o n . The t w o d i f f e r i n g s i t u a t i o n a l f a c t o r s b e t w e e n t h e t h r e e c h o i c e s w e r e e d u c a t i o n a n d i n c o m e . The women w i t h t h e h i g h e r d e g r e e o f e d u c a t i o n w e r e m o r e l i k e l y t o c o n t i n u e t o w o r k f u l l - t i m e . Many f u l l -t i m e c a r e e r women r e p o r t e d t h e need f o r t h e i n c o m e , h o w e v e r , t h e i r i n c o m e d i d n o t v a r y s i g n i f i c a n t l y f r o m women who became f u l l - t i m e homemakers. Behrman c o n c l u d e s t h a t when c o n s i d e r i n g t h e e f f e c t s o f i n c o m e , s t a n d a r d o f l i v i n g , a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s w i f e ' s e a r n i n g s , i n t e n s i t y o f b e l i e f s a b o u t a c h i l d ' s n e e d s , a n d t h e d e g r e e o f s a c r i f i c e t h e c o u p l e i s w i l l i n g t o make, a l l need t o be t a k e n i n t o a c c o u n t . When l o o k i n g a t t h e a t t i t u d i n a l f a c t o r s a f f e c t i n g t h e 18 choice of women, Behrman concluded that a t t i t u d e s towards sex r o l e s and the c h i l d a r e i m p o r t a n t - the l e s s t r a d i t i o n a l v i e w p o i n t b e i n g h e l d by c a r e e r women. Women who s t a y e d at home f e l t t h a t a c h i l d needed the f u l l - t i m e c a r e of t h e i r mother. Behrman does not show that the p e r s o n a l i t i e s of the women i n the three groups d i f f e r e d s i g n i f i c a n t l y . T h i s d i f f e r s from p r e v i o u s r e s e a r c h e r who had r e p o r t e d p e r s o n a l i t y v a r i a b l e s . Behrman c o n c l u d e s t h a t t h i s may be because her r e s e a r c h i s done b e f o r e the c h o i c e i s made, the c h o i c e i t s e l f may a f f e c t p e r s o n a l i t y . Behrman c o n c l u d e s t h a t t h e r e a p p e a r s to be a need f o r more p a r t - t i m e o p p o r t u n i t i e s f o r women. Further, that many of these women are basing t h e i r d e c i s i o n s on assumptions of the e f f e c t of c h i l d c a r e on t h e i r c h i l d r e n , b u t n o t enough r e s e a r c h has been done i n t h i s a r e a . More r e s e a r c h i s a l s o needed on the husband's r o l e - from h i s point of view as w e l l a s h e r s. In summary, the re s e a r c h on home versus career, to date, a p p e a r s to c o n c l u d e t h a t n e i t h e r avenue i s s i g n i f i c a n t l y b e t t e r than the other. 1 9 D u a l C a r e e r F a m i l i e s The t h i r d a r e a o f t h e l i t e r a t u r e r e s e a r c h w h i c h i s r e l e v a n t t o t h i s p a p e r i s t h e l i t e r a t u r e c o n c e r n i n g d u a l c a r e e r f a m i l i e s w i t h c h i l d r e n . The r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s o f m o t h e r h o o d added t o c a r e e r r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s makes f o r a v e r y b u s y c o m p l e x l i f e s t y l e . S o c i e t y o f t e n p r e s u m e s t h e i n c o m p a t i b i l i t y o f p r o f e s s i o n a l r o l e w i t h t h e r o l e s o f w i f e a n d m o t h e r (Bern & Bern, 1 9 7 2 ) . T h e r e i s o f t e n a c u l t u r a l m a n d a t e t h a t t h e woman i s t h e c h i e f c a r e t a k e r o f t h e f a m i l y and t h e man i s t h e e c o n o m i c p r o v i d e r . The woman who c o m b i n e s a p r o f e s s i o n a l c a r e e r w i t h f a m i l y r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s i s u n d e r s t r e s s b e c a u s e she p a r t i c i p a t e s i n two a c t i v i t y s y s t e m s where t h e a l l o c a t i o n o f t i m e i s a p r o b l e m a n d t h e c o n f l i c t i n v a l u e s i s a l w a y s p r e s e n t - h e r c o m m i t m e n t t o h e r c a r e e r v e r s u s h e r r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s t o h e r f a m i l y ( C o s e r & R o k o f f , 1974). L i e b e r ( 1 9 8 0 ) q u e s t i o n e d t h i r t y p r o f e s s i o n a l women -t e a c h e r s , l a w y e r s , p s y c h o l o g i s t s , s o c i a l w o r k e r s , and o t h e r s -t o d e t e r m i n e how t h e y cope w i t h t h e i r m u l t i p l e r o l e s o f w i f e , m o t h e r , a n d p r o f e s s i o n a l . By means o f a q u e s t i o n n a i r e c o n s i s t i n g o f 16 open-en d e d q u e s t i o n s , she d i s c o v e r e d a woman c o u l d n o t engage i n a r e a l l y s a t i s f y i n g c a r e e r and h a n d l e h e r o t h e r r o l e s a d e q u a t e l y w i t h o u t c o m p e t e n t h o u s e h o l d h e l p and a hu s b a n d w i t h a p o s i t i v e a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s h e r c a r e e r . E v e n s o , 20 t h e d u a l c a r e e r woman o f t e n a p p e a r e d h a r a s s e d a n d t o r n , h e r r o l e s were n o t i n t e g r a t e d . I n h e r w o r k , S w a r t z ( 1 9 8 0 ) i n d i c a t e s t h a t f a c t o r s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h c a r e e r a n d f a m i l y c o n f l i c t i n d u a l c a r e e r s i t u a t i o n s a r e s e t d e e p l y w i t h t h e p e r s o n a l h i s t o r y o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l a n d common e x p e r i e n c e o f t h e c u l t u r e . T h e s e f a c t o r s a r e r e s i l i e n t a n d w i l l n o t y i e l d e a s i l y t o s i m p l e r e m e d i e s . S c h w a r t z o f f e r s s e v e n s p e c i f i c s t r a t e g i e s t o be e m p l o y e d t o h a s t e n t h e s e c h a n g e s a n d e a s e t h e t e n s i o n women e x p e r i e n c e a s t h e y a t t e m p t t o f u l f i l l c a r e e r a n d f a m i l y c o m m i t m e n t s . They a r e : 1. i n c o r p o r a t e i n t o p a r e n t i n g p r ogrammes t h e o p p o r t u n i t y f o r p a r t i c i p a n t s t o e x a m i n e t h e i r own a t t i t u d e s and b e h a v i o u r f o r i t s p o t e n t i a l o r a c t u a l e f f e c t , i m p l i c i t o r e x p l i c i t on d a u g h t e r s ' s e n s e o f c o m p e t e n c e ; 2. s c r u t i n i z e t h e p r a c t i c e s o f i n s t i t u t i o n s f o r s e x r o l e s t e r e o t y p i n g ; 3. d e v e l o p e d u c a t i o n a l p r ogrammes t h a t a r e d e s i g n e d t o p r o m u l g a t e p o s i t i v e a t t i t u d e s t o w a r d s m a r r i e d women's c a r e e r s ; 4. e s t a b l i s h s e l f - h e l p g r o u p s i n w h i c h women who h a v e t h e m s e l v e s s u c c e s s f u l l y c o m b i n e d c a r e e r a n d f a m i l y a c t i v i t i e s a n d e x e m p l i f y b o t h f e m i n i n i t y a n d c o m p e t e n c e c a n p r o v i d e p o s i t i v e r o l e m o d e l s f o r o t h e r women; 5. p r o v i d e c o m p e t e n t t r a i n e d c o u n s e l l o r s who c a n a s s i s t g i r l s a n d women i n a n a l y z i n g a n d e v a l u a t i n g t h e i r s i t u a t i o n s ; 6. p r o v i d e m e n t a l h e a l t h t h e r a p i s t s who a r e t h e m s e l v e s p o s i t i v e r o l e m o d e l s ; and 7. p r o v i d e y o u t h p r o g r a m m e s t o h e l p y o u n g p e o p l e 21 u n d e r s t a n d r e a l i s t i c l i f e p a t t e r n s a n d d e v e l o p a t t i t u d e s and s k i l l s n e c e s s a r y t o c o m b i n e c a r e e r w i t h f a m i l y s u c c e s s f u l l y . S o r e n s o n ( 1 9 8 3 ) c o n c l u d e d ( b a s e d on d a t a f r o m W i s c o n s i n L o n g i t u d i n a l S t u d y o f S o c i a l a n d P s y c h o l o g i c a l F a c t o r s i n A s p i r a t i o n and A c h i e v e m e n t ) t h a t women who m a r r y l a t e a r e l e s s l i k e l y t o l e a v e t h e l a b o u r f o r c e a t any t i m e . H o w e v e r , women who d i d d e c i d e t o l e a v e w e re l e s s l i k e l y t o r e t u r n a t a l a t e r d a t e , a s do women who m a r r y y o u n g e r a n d l e a v e t h e l a b o u r f o r c e . L e e ( 1 9 8 3 ) r e p o r t s t h a t d u a l c a r e e r m a r r i a g e s a r e no l o n g e r new, t h e y may be t h e b i g g e s t movement o f t h i s c e n t u r y , b u t l i t t l e a t t e n t i o n has been g i v e n t o t h e r e a c t i v e d e p r e s s i o n s u f f e r e d by some women who h a v e t e m p o r a r i l y d i s r u p t e d t h e i r c a r e e r s t o have a baby and t h e n p r e p a r e t o r e t u r n t o work. He l a b e l s t h i s a s a m i d - c a r e e r c r i s i s . M i d - c a r e e r m o t h e r s may f e e l a g r e a t d e a l o f c o n f l i c t and c o n f u s i o n i n r e t u r n i n g . Lee r e p o r t s t h a t d e p r e s s e d women w i t h t h i s p r o b l e m a r e a p p e a r i n g i n c l i n i c i a n ' s o f f i c e s m o re o f t e n . L e e r e p o r t s t h a t t h i s s i t u a t i o n i s e x a c e r b a t e d by: 1. p h y s i o l o g i c a l p r o b l e m s o f r e p r o d u c t i o n ; 2. t h e b o n d i n g b e t w e e n m o t h e r and c h i l d ; 3. s o c i e t y ' s e x p e c t a t i o n s o f t o d a y ' s woman t o be a s u c c e s s f u l c a r e e r p e r s o n a n d a w o n d e r f u l m o t h e r -p e r h a p s i t i s t o o h i g h a s t a n d a r d t o a c h i e v e ; 4. t h e women b e c o m i n g a s o c i a l i s o l a t e ; 5. t h e m a g n i t u d e o f t h e d e c i s i o n t o h a v e c h i l d r e n - i t 22 i s i r r e v o c a b l e a n d women f e e l p r e s s u r e d by t h e b i o l o g i c a l t i m e c l o c k ; and 6. h u s b a n d s ' i n v e s t m e n t i n w o r k , h i s i n v o l v e m e n t i n p a r e n t h o o d i s s e e n as " e x t r a . " The r e s e a r c h e r c o n c l u d e s t h a t t o s a f e l y " w e a t h e r t h e s t o r m " women must: 1. l e a r n s e p a r a t i n g - have t h e c a p a c i t y t o bond b u t a l s o l e t go; 2. have good c h i l d c a r e ; 3. have p o s i t i v e b e l i e f s a b o u t t h e e f f e c t o f h e r r e t u r n t o work on t h e c h i l d : 4. have f l e x i b i l i t y i n s t a n d a r d s , i . e . h o u s e w o r k ; 5. h a v e p o s i t i v e f e e d b a c k f r o m s i g n i f i c a n t o t h e r s n o t t h e l e a s t o f w h i c h i s t h e c h i l d ; and 6. have p e e r s u p p o r t . I n s u m m a r y , t h e r e s e a r c h e r s o f d u a l c a r e e r f a m i l i e s , t o d a t e , s e e m s t o i n d i c a t e t h e r e a r e many p r o b l e m s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h t h e s i t u a t i o n , b u t t h e y o f f e r many s u g g e s t i o n s f o r e a s i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n a r e a l s o o f f e r e d . D e l a y e d P a r e n t i n g As h a s b e e n s t a t e d , t h e l i t e r a t u r e d e a l i n g s p e c i f i c a l l y w i t h d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d i s s c a r c e and c a n be d i v i d e d r o u g h l y i n t o why women d e l a y h a v i n g c h i l d r en and t h e c o n s e q u e n c e s o f d e l a y i n g . T h e r e a s o n s f o r d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d a r e f a i r l y u n a n i m o u s l y a g r e e d u p o n . The d e c r e a s e d r i s k o f u n w a n t e d 23 p r e g n a n c i e s and b i r t h h a s made i t e a s i e r f o r c o u p l e s t o d e l a y p a r e n t h o o d . F o r t h e m a j o r i t y , d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d i s a n o u t g r o w t h o f a w i s h t o h a v e a p e r i o d o f p e r s o n a l f r e e d o m f o r p e r s o n a l d e v e l o p m e n t and t o e n s u r e a s t a b l e m a r r i a g e and t o be f i n a n c i a l l y s e c u r e ( W i l k i e , 1981). R i n d f u s s ( 1 9 8 3 ) e x a m i n e s a t a n u m b e r o f v a r i a b l e s ( f a t h e r ' s o c c u p a t i o n , r a c e , n u m b e r o f s i b l i n g s , r e l i g i o n , w h e r e o n e g r e w u p , s m o k i n g , w h e t h e r r e s p o n d e n t h a d a m i s c a r r i a g e b e f o r e f i r s t b i r t h , e d u c a t i o n ) and c o n c l u d e d t h a t e d u c a t i o n was t h e m a j o r d e t e r m i n a n t i n d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d . T h e o t h e r s a f f e c t e d t h e d e c i s i o n a s t h e y i m p a c t e d o n e d u c a t i o n . Women who d e l a y c h i l d b i r t h a r e l i k e l y t o h a v e f e w e r c h i l d r e n ( B u m p a s s , 1 9 7 8 ) . T h e y a r e l i k e l y t o h a v e i n c r e a s e d t h e i r r a n g e and s k i l l s and i n t e r e s t s ( M i l l e r & Newman, 1978). The f a m i l y f i n a n c e s a r e i n b e t t e r s h a p e a nd l a t e b e a r e r s a r e b e t t e r a b l e t o h a n d l e t h e c o m p e t i n g d e m a n d s o f w o r k a n d p a r e n t h o o d . The g r e a t e s t demands o f work l i f e g e n e r a l l y o c c u r d u r i n g t h e e a r l y p h a s e o f c a r e e r d e v e l o p m e n t , t h e same t i m e t h a t e a r l y b e a r e r s f a c e t h e g r e a t e s t demands o f c h i l d b e a r i n g and r e a r i n g ( E l d e r , 1977). D e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d a l s o a f f e c t s r o l e s i n t h e f a m i l y due t o g r e a t e r age d i f f e r e n c e s b e t w e e n p a r e n t s and c h i l d r e n . V e r y l i t t l e r e s e a r c h h a s b e e n d o n e on how p a r e n t a l a g e a f f e c t s 24 c h i l d r e a r i n g . W i l k i e ( 1 9 8 1 ) r e p o r t s t h a t a r e v i e w o f t h e i n v e n t o r y o f M a r r i a g e and F a m i l y L i t e r a t u r e , s i n c e 1975, f o u n d o n l y two n o n - m e d i c a l a r t i c l e s d e a l i n g w i t h p a r e n t a l age as an i n d e p e n d e n t v a r i a b l e . S e a r s ( 1 9 5 7 ) r e p o r t e d o l d e r m o t h e r s ( n o t n e c e s s a r i l y o v e r 3 0 ) a r e l e s s l i k e l y t o u s e p h y s i c a l p u n i s h m e n t o r r i d i c u l e . F u r t h e r , t h e y e n c o u r a g e v e r b a l i z a t i o n and d i s c o u r a g e d e p e n d e n c y ( S e t h & K h a n n a , 1 9 7 8 ) . F a b l e a n d W i k l e r ( 1 9 7 9 ) r e p o r t t h a t women who a r e "up a g a i n s t t h e c l o c k " t o have c h i l d r e n a r e f i n d i n g t h e i r m a r i t a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n t r o u b l e . The r e s e a r c h e r s s how t h e s e women need t o have f l e x i b l e j o b demands, f l e x i b l e a t t i t u d e s t o w a r d s w o r k a n d b e l i e v e i n a n d h a v e a c c e s s t o c h i l d c a r e t o e n j o y m o t h e r h o o d . P e a r l i n a n d S c h o o l e r ( 1 9 8 2 ) , when l o o k i n g a t s t r e s s , f o u n d t h a t t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d was t h i r d o n l y t o d i v o r c e a n d w i d o w h o o d i n t h e a m o u n t o f c h a n g e i t a f f e c t e d . The r e s e a r c h e r s f o u n d c o p i n g modes f o r t h i s t r a n s i t i o n i n t e r m s o f a g e , e d u c a t i o n , a n d i n c o m e . T h e y f o u n d a p o s i t i v e c o r r e l a t i o n b e t w e e n a ge a n d n o n - p u n i t i v e m e t h o d s , p o s i t i v e c o m p a r i s o n s and s e l e c t i v e i g n o r i n g i n p a r e n t i n g s k i l l s . They f o u n d a n e g a t i v e c o r r e l a t i o n b e t w e e n a ge a n d s e l f - r e l i a n c e . The o l d e r p a r e n t s w e r e m o r e l i k e l y t o s e e k a d v i c e . I n t e r m s o f e d u c a t i o n , t h e y f o u n d a p o s i t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h n o n -p u n i t i v e m ethods and p o s i t i v e c o m p a r i s o n s i n p a r e n t i n g . T h e r e was a n e g a t i v e c o r r e l a t i o n b e t w e e n e d u c a t i o n and s e l f - r e l i a n c e 25 a n d s e l e c t i v e i g n o r i n g . I n t e r m s o f i n c o m e , t h e r e was a p o s i t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n p o s i t i v e c o m p a r i s o n s a n d n o n -p u n i t i v e m e t h o d s i n p a r e n t i n g . T h e r e w a s a n e g a t i v e c o r r e l a t i o n b e t w e e n i n c o m e and s e l f - r e l i a n c e . S i n c e women who d e l a y h a v i n g c h i l d r e n a r e o f t e n b e t t e r e d u c a t e d a n d i n a h i g h e r i n c o m e b r a c k e t , t h e s e r e s u l t s a r e p a r t i c u l a r l y i n t e r e s t i n g t o t h i s r e s e a r c h . K e r n ( 1 982) i n t e r v i e w e d f i f t y - f i v e women who had a c h i l d a f t e r t h i r t y - f i v e ( n o t n e c e s s a r i l y t h e i r f i r s t ) . She f o u n d 5 0 % o f t h e s e women w e r e s u c c e s s f u l i n c o m p l e t i n g l a b o u r a n d d e l i v e r y u n m e d i c a t e d . An o v e r w h e l m i n g n u m b e r o f t h e women were p o s i t i v e a b o u t t h e i r d e c i s i o n t o p a r e n t a t a l a t e r s t a g e o f t h e i r l i f e , c i t i n g p e r s o n a l a n d e c o n o m i c s t a b i l i t y , m a t u r i t y , i n c r e a s e-d p a t i e n c e , f a m i l y c o h e s i o n , a n d a p p r e c i a t i o n o f t h e i n f a n t as d e c i s i v e l y a d v a n t a g e o u s . Summar y On t h e b a s i s o f t h i s l i t e r a t u r e r e v i e w , i t was c o n c l u d e d v e r y l i t t l e r e s e a r c h has been done s p e c i f i c a l l y on b e g i n n i n g p a r e n t h o o d a f t e r t h i r t y . M o r e o v e r , t h e r e s e a r c h t h a t h a s been done has d i s c r e p a n c i e s . I s i t a good e x p e r i e n c e , as i n d i c a t e d by K e r n ( 1 9 8 2 ) , o r one t h a t c a u s e s many p r o b l e m s , as F a b l e and W i k l e r ( 1 9 7 9 ) a n d P r o c a c i n i ( 1 9 8 3 ) i n d i c a t e ? I f t h e r e a r e p r o b l e m s , how do t h e women cope w i t h them? I t i s t h e p u r p o s e 26 o f t h i s p a p e r t o f i n d o u t t h e a n s w e r s t o t h e s e q u e s t i o n s . The f o l l o w i n g c h a p t e r o u t l i n e s t h e m e t h o d o l o g y t h a t was u s e d i n t h i s s t u d y . 27 CHAPTER THREE M e t h o d o l o g y P r o c e d u r e s T h e p r e s e n t r e s e a r c h i s d e s i g n e d t o e x p l o r e t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f b e g i n n i n g m o t h e r h o o d a f t e r 30 a n d a d d r e s s t h e f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n s : 1. How does t h e 30 y e a r o r o l d e r e x p e r i e n c e m o t h e r h o o d ? 2. What ( i f a n y ) a r e t h e p r o b l e m s t h e woman e n c o u n t e r s ? 3. How does t h e woman cope w i t h t h e p r o b l e m ? 4. A r e t h e r e p a t t e r n s i n t h e e x p e r i e n c e a n d c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s ? The c a s e s t u d y a p p r o a c h i s u s e d , t h a t i s " t h e s t u d y o f a b o u n d e d s y s t e m e m p h a s i z i n g t h e u n i t y a n d w h o l e n e s s o f t h e s y s t e m b u t c o n t i n u i n g t h e a t t e n t i o n t o t h o s e a s p e c t s t h a t a r e r e l e v a n t t o t h e r e s e a r c h " ( S t a k e , 1 9 8 0 , p. 1 ) . S u b j e c t s I t was p r o p o s e d t o i n t e r v i e w 20 women. v o l u n t e e r s were s o u g h t f r o m p o s t - n a t a l c l a s s e s i n t h e D u n b a r / K e r r i s d a l e a r e a . F i f t e e n v o l u n t e e r s w e r e o b t a i n e d who met t h e f o l l o w i n g c r i t e r i a : 28 1. women b e t w e e n t h e a g e s 30-40 who have had t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d a f t e r t h e y t u r n e d 30; 2. t h e women must be m a r r i e d a t l e a s t t h r e e y e a r s b e f o r e t h e c h i l d i s b o r n ; and 3. t h e women m u s t be b o r n i n C a n a d a o r i n t h e U.S. t o e l i m i n a t e c u l t u r a l d y n a m i c s t h a t w o u l d r e q u i r e a s e p a r a t e s t u d y . L i m i t a t i o n s T h e r e s u l t s o f t h e s t u d y may be l i m i t e d t o a v e r y s p e c i f i c s o c i o - e c o n o m i c g r o u p a n d t o women who t a k e p a r t i n p o s t - n a t a l c l a s s e s . Any r e l a t i o n s h i p t o o t h e r women o f age 30 h a v i n g c h i l d r e n m u s t be c o n s i d e r e d i n t h i s l i g h t . H o w e v e r , s i n c e many women who w o r k u n t i l 30 b e f o r e h a v i n g c h i l d r e n may p u t t h e m s e l v e s i n a h i g h e r e c o n o m i c s p h e r e , t h i s f a c t o r may n o t r e s t r i c t t h e f i n d i n g s t h a t much. The v e r y n a t u r e o f t h e s t u d y i s l i m i t e d t o t h e women's p e r s p e c t i v e . I t i s n o t i n t e n d e d t o l o o k a t t h e same s i t u a t i o n f r o m t h e f a t h e r ' s p o i n t o f v i e w o r t h e c h i l d ' s . T h e s e p e r s p e c t i v e s w o u l d n e c e s s i t a t e f u r t h e r s t u d i e s . F u r t h e r , t h e s t u d y i s l i m i t e d i n t h e way a l l c a s e s t u d i e s a r e l i m i t e d ( S h o n t z , 1 9 6 5 ) . He s t a t e s t h a t a c a s e s t u d y s e r v e s s e v e r a l u n i q u e f u n c t i o n s . T h e s e f u n c t i o n s d e r i v e d i r e c t l y f r o m t h o s e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s t h a t m a k e i t m e t h o d o l o g i c a l l y weak. The l a c k o f c o n t r o l l e d c o n d i t i o n s , c a r e f u l l y o b t a i n e d o b j e c t i v e m e a s u r e s o f b e h a v i o u r a n d 29 s c i e n t i f i c r i g o r h a v e l i m i t e d t h e c a s e s t u d y a s a r e s e a r c h t o o l . Y e t t h e n a t u r a l i s t i c and u n c o n t r o l l e d c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s a l s o h a v e made t h e c a s e s t u d y a u n i q u e s o u r c e o f i n f o r m a t i o n t h a t c o m p l i m e n t s e x p e r i m e n t a l r e s e a r c h . I n s t r u m e n t a t i o n 1. Q u e s t i o n n a i r e ( S e e A p p e n d i x A) T h i s was d e s i g n e d t o o b t a i n d e m o g r a p h i c i n f o r m a t i o n f r o m t h e women. E a c h s u b j e c t f i l l e d o u t one o f t h e s e q u e s t i o n n a i r e s a t t h e b e g i n n i n g o f t h e i n t e r v i e w . 2. The I n t e r v i e w ( S e e A p p e n d i x B) A g u i d e d h o u r and o n e - h a l f l o n g i n t e r v i e w was u s e d t o c o l l e c t t h e d a t a . A l l t h e i n t e r v i e w s w e r e c o n d u c t e d by o n e f e m a l e r e s e a r c h e r . T h e o r i e n t a t i o n , a s o u t l i n e d i n A p p e n d i x B, a l l o w e d t h e s u b j e c t t o t e l l h e r e x p e r i e n c e o f h a v i n g c h i l d r e n f r o m h e r own f r a m e o f r e f e r e n c e . W h i l e t h e s u b j e c t was t a l k i n g , t h e i n t e r v i e w e r u s e d c o u n s e l l i n g s k i l l s t o h e l p t h e s u b j e c t e x p a n d a n d e l a b o r a t e on h e r t h o u g h t s a n d f e e l i n g s . I f t h e s u b j e c t , i n t e l l i n g h e r e x p e r i e n c e , t o l d o n l y o f p r o b l e m s , t h e n t h e i n t e r v i e w e r a t t e m p t e d t o d r a w o u t t h e j o y s ( i f a n y ) a l s o . The j o y s may p r o v i d e k e y s f o r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s . I f , on t h e o t h e r hand, t h e s u b j e c t t o l d m o s t l y o f t h e j o y s o f d e l a y e d 3 0 p a r e n t h o o d , t h e n t h e i n t e r v i e w e r d r e w o u t t h e p o s s i b l e p r o b l e m s . The i n t e r v i e w e r a l s o k e p t a m e n t a l c h e c k l i s t o f t h e a r e a s t h e s u b j e c t c o v e r e d . I f , when t h e s u b j e c t had c o m p l e t e d h e r s t o r y , c e r t a i n a r e a s w e r e n o t c o v e r e d , t h e i n t e r v i e w e r a s k e d m o r e s p e c i f i c q u e s t i o n s ( a s o u t l i n e d i n A p p e n d i x B). I f , d u r i n g t h e i n t e r v i e w s , an a r e a was u n c o v e r e d t h a t was n o t o u t l i n e d , i t w a s i n c l u d e d i n s u b s e q u e n t i n t e r v i e w s as i s a p p r o p r i a t e i n c a s e s t u d i e s ( S t a k e , 1 9 8 0 ) . T h i s p r o c e d u r e a l l o w e d f o r an u n i q u e o p p o r t u n i t y t o c o n d u c t what a p p e a r s t o t h e s u b j e c t t o . b e n o t h i n g more t h a n a f r i e n d l y v i s i t , b u t w h i c h i s , b e c a u s e o f t h e t r a n s i t i o n t h e y a r e e x p e r i e n c i n g , a c o n t e x t u a l l y s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w . As R a p o p o r t ( 1 9 7 7 ) n o t e s " P r e g n a n c y and c h i l d b i r t h a r e t i m e s when p e o p l e t e n d t o be e s p e c i a l l y o p e n w i t h i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t t h e i r f e e l i n g s a n d o f t e n a r e e a g e r t o t a l k a b o u t t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e and c o n c e r n s " (p. 151). A t a p e r e c o r d e r w a s u s e d t o a l l o w t h e i n t e r v i e w e r t o c o n c e n t r a t e on w h a t t h e women w e r e s a y i n g , r a t h e r t h a n t a k i n g n o t e s . F o r p u r p o s e s o f s u m m a r y a n d p o s s i b l e i n s i g h t , t h e i n t e r v i e w s c o n c l u d e d w i t h t w o v e r y s p e c i f i c 31 q u e s t i o n s . By t h e s e m e a n s , t h e n , t h e i n t e r v i e w p r o v i d e d d a t a on t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f m o t h e r h o o d a f t e r 30, i t s p r o b l e m s and c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s . D a t a C o l l e c t i o n I n t e r v i e w s were h e l d a t a number o f l o c a t i o n s , d e p e n d i n g u p o n e a s e o f c h i l d c a r e a r r a n g e m e n t s . T h e s e l o c a t i o n s i n c l u d e d , U.B.C. c o u n s e l l i n g p s y c h o l o g y o f f i . c e s , t h e r e s e a r c h e r ' s home, t h e home o f t h e s u b j e c t , o r t h e o f f i c e s o f t h e s u b j e c t s . The i n t e r v i e w p r o c e e d e d as f o l l o w s : 1. S t a t e m e n t o f A i m ; 2. A n o n y m i t y o f D a t a A s s u r e d ; 3. C o n s e n t Form ( s e e A p p e n d i x C ) ; 4. C o l l e c t i o n o f D e m o g r a p h i c M a t e r i a l ; 5. I n t e r v i e w Q u e s t i o n s ; and 6. D e b r i e f i n g - a l l o w i n g t i m e f o r q u e s t i o n s . D a t a A n a l y s i s E a c h i n t e r v i e w was t a p e d , t r a n s c r i b e d , a n d a n a l y z e d . F r o m t h e o v e r f i v e h u n d r e d p a g e s o f t r a n s c r i b e d i n t e r v i e w s , c o m m o n t h e m e s o r t o p i c s a p p e a r e d a n d a p i c t u r e o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e , i t s p r o b l e m s , and c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s was drawn. B e c a u s e one c a n n o t e a s i l y s o r t t h r o u g h q u a l i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h , a c o l o u r c o d e w a s u s e d f o r t h e t o p i c s . T h e 32 r e s e a r c h e r r e a d t h r o u g h t h e e n t i r e t r a n s c i p t a n d c o d e d t h e t o p i c s u s i n g a c o l o u r code. Then e a c h theme was b r o k e n down, when a p p l i c a b l e , i n t o p r o b l e m s and c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s u s i n g a number code. A s e c o n d r e s e a r c h e r ( t h e a u t h o r o f t w o p u b l i s h e d r e s e a r c h p r o j e c t s i n E.S.L.) went t h r o u g h t h e same p r o c e s s t o g a i n g r e a t e r v a l i d i t y . When t h e r e was a d i s c r e p a n c y b e t w e e n t h e t w o , a d i s c u s s i o n t o o k p l a c e a n d a g r e e m e n t r e a c h e d a s t o w here t h e d a t a s h o u l d be p l a c e d . T h i s c a s e s t u d y a n a l y s i s s u g g e s t s l i n e s o f t h o u g h t , u r g e s r e - e x a m i n a t i o n o f c o n t e m p o r a r y t h e o r y , r e v e a l s a r e a s o f b e h a v i o u r i n w h i c h o u r k n o w l e d g e i s s p a r s e , a n d s t i m u l a t e s h y p o t h e s e s f o r f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h ( H e s s & H a n d e l , 1959). The f o l l o w i n g c h a p t e r p r e s e n t s t h e r e s u l t s o f t h i s i n v e s t i g a t i o n , i n t e r m s o f t h e s i x t e e n themes t h a t a p p e a r e d . 3 3 CHAPTER FOUR R e s u l t s I n t r o d u c t i o n I t h a s b e e n s t a t e d t h a t p r e g n a n c y a n d c h i l d b i r t h a r e t i m e s when p e o p l e t e n d t o be e s p e c i a l l y open w i t h i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t t h e i r f e e l i n g s a n d a r e o f t e n e a g e r t o t a l k a b o u t t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e s , a n d so i t was i n t h e s e i n t e r v i e w s . A l l f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s f o u n d i t e a s y t o b e g i n t o t a l k when t h e s i m p l e p r e l i m i n a r y o p e n e r was made by t h e i n t e r v i e w e r . B e f o r e l o o k i n g a t t h e a n a l y s i s o f t h e t a p e s a n d t o p r o v i d e a f r a m e w o r k f o r t h e t o p i c s a n d p a t t e r n s t h a t a r e d i s c u s s e d , T a b l e 1 p r o v i d e a p r o f i l e o f e a c h r e s p o n d e n t t a k e n f r o m t h e d e m o g r a p h i c q u e s t i o n n a i r e t h a t was c o m p l e t e d b e f o r e t h e i n t e r v i e w . I t i n c l u d e s t h e i r a g e , e d u c a t i o n , y e a r s o f m a r r i a g e , number o f c h i l d r e n , t o t a l f a m i l y i n c o m e , and age o f husban d . A l l t h e c h i l d r e n i n t h i s s a m p l e were p r e - s c h o o l age, e x c e p t f o r R e s p o n d e n t 8 w h o s e c h i l d was 10 a n d R e s p o n d e n t 15 who had one c h i l d o f s c h o o l age. The o c c u p a t i o n o f t h e women i s l i s t e d w i t h p a r e n t h e s i s t o i n d i c a t e f o r m e r o c c u p a t i o n , o r w h e t h e r i t i s f u l l - o r p a r t - t i m e e m p l o y m e n t . 34 Table 1 Darographic Information Respondent 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Age 35 34 36 37 33 33 35 40 32 36 36 31 37 39 37 Education 5y r . univer. 4 yr. univer. 5 yr. univer. 5yr. univer. 4 yr. univer. 2yr. univer. 4 yr. univer. 4 yr. univer. 7 yr. univer. 4 yr. univer. 4 yr. univer. 4 yr. univer, 5 yr. , univer. 7 y r . univer. 7 y r . univer, Occupation Hn. (T.) Hn. (T.) Hn. (N.) Hn. (T.) S.W. (f-t) Hn. (C) C. (p-t) C. (f-t) P.O. (f-t) P.O. (f-t) C. (P-t) C. (f-t) S.B. (T.) Hn. (P-t) P. (T.) Yrs. of Marriage 9 5 5 6 3 4 4 16 6 3 14 5 14 7 14 No. of Children 2 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 3 Income ($,000's) 30-40 30-40 50+ 40-50 40-50 50+ 40-50 50+ 50+ 50+ 50+ 50+ 40-50 50+ 50+ Age of Husband 34 36 45 36 33 33 36 41 35 38 40 32 38 40 41 * Hm. Homemaker (f-t) Full-time S.W. Social Worker (p-t) Part-time C. Counsellor P.O. Probation Officer T. Teacher N. Nurse S.B. Stockbroker P. Professor T o p i c s One method o f p r e s e n t i n g d a t a i n q u a l i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h i s t o p r e s e n t t h e e n t i r e t r a n s c r i p t and t h e n comment on i t as was d o n e by F a b e a n d W i k l e r ( 1 9 8 3 ) . H o w e v e r , i t was f e l t t h a t t h e r e were many i d e n t i f y i n g r e m a r k s i n t h e t r a n s c r i p t s and t o p r e s e n t t h e m i n t h e i r e n t i r e t y w o u l d j e o p a r d i z e c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y . I t was a l s o f e l t t h a t b y ' t h e a n a l y t i c a l p r o c e s s , d e s c r i b e d p r e v i o u s l y , many o f t h e t o p i c s t h a t a p p e a r e d s h o u l d be p r e s e n t e d i n s e p a r a t e s e c t i o n s . A t t h e same t i m e , h o w e v e r , i t i s b e n e f i c i a l t o q u o t e l i b e r a l l y f r o m t h e t r a n s c r i p t s i n o r d e r t o g e t t h e t r u e f l a v o u r o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s ' p o i n t o f v i e w . T h e r e f o r e , s e p a r a t e t o p i c s a r e p r e s e n t e d , w i t h q u o t e s f r o m t h e r e s p o n d e n t s a n d a s u m m a t i o n f r o m t h e r e s e a r c h e r . T h e r e w e r e s i x t e e n t o p i c s t h a t a p p e a r e d i n t h e t r a n s c r i p t s . Not a l l r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e on e a c h t o p i c , e i t h e r b e c a u s e i t d i d n o t a p p l y t o t h e m ( f o r e x a m p l e , " C h i l d r e n by P r e v i o u s M a r r i a g e s " ) o r t h e y d i d n o t w i s h t o t a l k a b o u t t h a t a r e a ( a s f o r e x a m p l e , F a m i l y ) . T a b l e 2 p r e s e n t s t h e s i x t e e n t o p i c s and i n d i c a t e s w h i c h r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e on i t . 36 T a b l e 2 T o p i c s and R e s p o n d e n t s Who Spoke on Them R e a s o n s f o r W a i t i n g H u sbands S e l f - c o n c e p t S u p p o r t C a r e e r H a v i n g a n o t h e r c h i l d C h i l d r e n f r o m p r e v i o u s m a r r i a g e s F a m i l y C h i l d r e n t h e m s e l v e s F a t i q u e F i n a n c e s O u t s i d e h e l p R o l e s C o n t r o l E d u c a t i o n A d v i c e a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s a l l , e x c e p t r e s p o n d e n t 14 a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s r e s p o n d e n t 14 and 3 a l l , e x c e p t r e s p o n d e n t 2 and 14 a l l , e x c e p t r e s p o n d e n t 1, 2, and 5 a l l , e x c e p t r e s p o n d e n t 8 a l l , e x c e p t r e s p o n d e n t 2, 5, and 8 a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s r e s p o n d e n t s 5, 7, 12, 11, and 15 r e s p o n d e n t s 3, 4, 11, 5, 6, 7, and 9 r e s p o n d e n t s 7, 9, 12, 14, 10, and 11 a l l 15 r e s p o n d e n t s 37 R e a s o n s f o r D e l a y i n g M o t h e r h o o d Of t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s , e l e v e n i n d i c a t e d t h a t h a v i n g c h i l d r e n a f t e r 30 was c o m p l e t e l y p l a n n e d t h r o u g h o u t and d e s i r e d . Many o f t h e r e a s o n s g i v e n f o r t h i s w e r e t h o s e d i s c u s s e d by W r i g h t ( 1 9 8 0 ) . The women w a n t e d t o h a v e t h e i r own c a r e e r u n d e r c o n t r o l , be f i n a n c i a l l y s e c u r e , be a b l e t o a c c e p t r e s p o n s i b i l i t y a nd h a v e d o n e " t h e i r own t h i n g . " The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h e a n s w e r s : R e s p o n d e n t 1 " I d e f i n i t e l y h a d o r g a n i z e d t h i s , a s a m a t t e r o f f a c t I p r o b a b l y w o u l d h a v e w a i t e d l o n g e r b e c a u s e we w a n t e d t o be v e r y o r g a n i z e d and s e t t l e d i n o u r own ways, my h u s b a n d and I . We h a d a g r e a t t i m e , we d i d n o t w a n t a n y s t r e s s f u l s i t u a t i o n s when we h a d k i d s , so we t r i e d t o a v o i d a l l t h a t s t r e s s by g e t t i n g a l l t h e t h i n g s done we w a n t e d t o do f i r s t . " R e s p o n d e n t 3 "My p e r s c r i p t i o n was a l w a y s t h a t I was g o i n g t o l i v e my l i f e a b i t b e f o r e I s e t t l e d down.... I was s l o w t o a c c e p t r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , I d i d n ' t w a n t i t u n t i l I r e a l l y w a n t e d i t . . . f o r my h u s b a n d i t was v e r y i m p o r t a n t t h a t we h a d a house.... I w o u l d h a v e w a i t e d l o n g e r , e x c e p t f o r 38 t h e f e a r o f raongoloidism." R e s p o n d e n t 6 " W a i t i n g g a v e me t i m e t o w o r k on who I was a n d e x p e r i e n c e a l o t o f t h i n g s i n l i f e t h a t I p r o b a b l y w o u l d n ' t h a v e i f I h a d c h i l d r e n r i g h t a w a y . . . a c t u a l l y w o r k i n g on who I w a s , y o u k n o w , a s a woman a n d a s an i n d i v i d u a l , as my own p e r s o n . " R e s p o n d e n t 7 " I n e v e r i n t e n d e d t o g e t m a r r i e d . I n e v e r i n t e n d e d t o h a v e c h i l d r e n , i t was n o t i n my p l a n s a n d i t was j u s t l i k e t h e p r o v e r b i a l s a y i n g g o e s , I h a d a t i m e c l o c k go o f f i n my h e a d a n d I r e a l l y d i d h a v e s t r o n g f e e l i n g s t h a t I wanted a f a m i l y . " R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I c o u l d h a v e w a i t e d u n t i l 50 r e a l l y , b u t I knew I c o u l d n ' t w a i t t h a t l o n g , a n d I w o u l d n ' t h a v e t h e e n e r g y t o do i t l a t e r , s o t h e b i o l o g i c a l t i m e c l o c k . . . y o u k n o w , I g u e s s t h a t ' s s o m e t h i n g I w o r r i e d a b o u t . . . i f I d i d n ' t have one t h a t I m i g h t r e g r e t i t one d a y . " 39 R e s p o n d e n t 10 " I m a r r i e d l a t e and h a v i n g r e a l i z e d t h a t we had a v e r y good r e l a t i o n s h i p , w h i c h seems t o be g e t t i n g b e t t e r , I t h o u g h t i t was a v e r y n a t u r a l t h i n g t o g e t p r e g n a n t . " R e s p o n d e n t 11 "My h u s b a n d and I had c o m p l e t e d o u r e d u c a t i o n and we w a n t e d t o t r a v e l , we w e r e h a v i n g a v e r y g o o d l i f e , we h a d d o n e a l o t o f t h i n g s . I f i n d my j o b i n c r e d i b l y f u l f i l l i n g a n d t h e n a l l o f a s u d d e n , I r e a l i z e d t h a t I was g e t t i n g t o a p o i n t i n my l i f e t h a t I h a d t o make a d e c i s i o n a s t o w h e t h e r o r n o t I w a n t e d c h i l d r e n . . . . I d i s c u s s e d i t w i t h my h u s b a n d a n d we d e c i d e d we h a d e v e r y t h i n g we w a n t e d , we had a h o u s e , we had d o n e a l l t h e t r a v e l l i n g we w a n t e d , made a l o t o f p u r c h a s e s and I f e l t I w a n t e d s o m e t h i n g more." R e s p o n d e n t 12 " W e l l t h e r e a s o n I w a i t e d u n t i l t h i r t y o f c o u r s e t h e r e ' s t h i s b i g n u m b e r t h i r t y a n d y o u h e a r a l l t h e s t a t i s t i c s on t h e d a n g e r o f b i r t h d e f o r m i t i e s i n c r e a s i n g a f t e r t h e age o f 3 0 , p a r t i c u l a r l y m on g o 1 o i d i s m. T h i r t y i s t h e b i g g y . B u t , a l s o , i t was f i v e y e a r s f o r me f r o m A O t h e d a t e I was m a r r i e d . When I was m a r r i e d , e v e r y b o d y a s k e d when a r e y o u g o i n g t o h a v e c h i l d r e n . I s a i d f i v e y e a r s f r o m now, g i v e me a c a l l . I w i l l be h a v i n g a c h i l d . I'm t h a t k i n d o f p e r s o n , i f y o u a s k me when my s e c o n d c h i l d i s c o m i n g a l o n g , I w i l l t e l l y o u i n a y e a r a n d a h a l f . The b o o k s s a y t h a t t h r e e y e a r s i s t h e i d e a l t i m e b e t w e e n c h i l d r e n . So f o r me, i t was f i v e y e a r s f r o m t h e t i m e I was m a r r i e d t h a t I d e c i d e d i t was t i m e a n d I h a d w a i t e d u n t i l t h a t a g e b e c a u s e I f e l t my m a r r i a g e c o u l d s u r v i v e , ray c a r e e r w o u l d be i n a s t a t e t h a t I c o u l d t a k e t h e t i m e o f f . I w a i t e d f i r s t f o r f i n a n c i a l s e c u r i t y and t h e n e m o t i o n a l s e c u r i t y . R e s p o n d e n t 13 " I h a d done a l l I h a d w a n t e d w h a t I t h o u g h t b e i n g s i n g l e a c c o m p l i s h e d a s much a s I c o u l d , l i f e , I was r e a d y f o r a n d t h a t r o u t i n e . R e s p o n d e n t 14 " I w a s a l a t e b l o o m e r . . . . I w a s d e f i n i t e l y i n f l u e n c e d by t h e '60s a n d t h e w h o l e i d e a o f d o i n g y o u r t o do w i t h r e g a r d s t o w a s a l l a b o u t a n d The n e x t s t a g e o f my was t h e w h o l e f a m i l y 41 own t h i n g . When I f i n i s h e d y e a r s j u s t t r a v e l l i n g a r o u n d . u n i v e r s i t y , I s p e n t many R e s p o n d e n t 15 "We f e e l t h a t t h i r t y was a s l o n g a s c o u l d s a f e l y p u t o f f h a v i n g k i d s so we t r a v e l l e d and s t a r t e d s a v i n g money, so we c o u l d a f f o r d a home w i t h o u t w o r r y i n g a b o u t my i n c o m e . Of t h e f o u r r e s p o n d e n t s who w a i t e d u n t i l 30 t o h a v e c h i l d r e n , b u t n o t by c h o i c e , t h r e e h a d c o n c e p t i o n p r o b l e m s . Two o f t h e women h a d p r e v i o u s m i s c a r r i a g e s a n d t h e t h i r d t h o u g h t she was u n a b l e t o have a c h i l d and a d o p t e d one b e f o r e h a v i n g h e r own. The f o u r t h r e s p o n d e n t s i m p l y d i d n o t m e e t a man s h e w a n t e d t o m a r r y u n t i l l a t e r i n l i f e . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h e s e f o u r s i t u a t i o n s : R e s p o n d e n t 2 " I d e s p e r a t e l y w a n t e d t o h a v e a c h i l d when I was y o u n g e r , b u t I had t h r e e m i s c a r r i a g e s a n d a s t i l l b o r n . So, I am o f f a t e , n o t o f c h o i c e . " R e s p o n d e n t 4 " A c t u a l l y , we d i d n ' t p u t i n f o r a d o p t i o n f o r a l o n g 4.2 t i m e b e c a u s e t h i n g s j u s t s o r t o f w e n t a l o n g . I was h a p p y w i t h w h a t I was d o i n g . And t h e n a s t i m e c l o s e d i n and I knew t h a t I was g e t t i n g t o t h e p o i n t w here you know, n o r o r n e v e r , t h e n we t h o u g h t we had b e t t e r do s o m e t h i n g , so we p u t i n f o r a d o p t i o n . R e s p o n d e n t 5 " I f I h a d b e e n m a r r i e d a t 22, I w o u l d h a v e h a d c h i l d r e n a t 2 2 , I w o u l d n ' t h a v e w a i t e d u n t i l I was o v e r 30. B u t t h a t was j u s t my c i r c u m s t a n c e , y o u know I d i d n ' t m eet a n y b o d y f o r a l o n g t i m e . " R e s p o n d e n t 8 "We l o s t one p r e g n a n c y a few y e a r s b e f o r e . " W h e t h e r t h e woman c h o s e t o w a i t o r c i r c u m s t a n c e s f o r c e d h e r t o w a i t u n t i l 30 d o e s n o t a p p e a r t o a l t e r t h e p r o b l e m s t h a t s h e e n c o u n t e r s , b u t i t d o e s a p p e a r t o a f f e c t h e r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s t h r o u g h a t t i t u d i n a l d i f f e r e n c e s . F o r e x a m p l e , R e s p o n d e n t 2, who h a d t h r e e m i s c a r r i a g e s a n d a s t i l l b o r n , r e p o r t s " f e e l i n g t i r e d " and h a v i n g " f i v e pounds e x t r a baggage a n d a f e w w r i n k l e s on my tummy" b u t b e c a u s e t h e y r e p r e s e n t a happy s o l u t i o n t o h e r s i t u a t i o n , she r e p o r t s , "I'm q u i t e happy t o s e e t h o s e w r i n k l e s , " and R e s p o n d e n t 4 r e p o r t s t h a t h a v i n g 43 two l i t t l e g i r l s so c l o s e t o g e t h e r can g e t v e r y h e c t i c a t t i m e s , but "we a r e so d e l i g h t e d t o have them, we know we a r e l u c k y t h a t t h e r e are a l l s o r t s of people t r y i n g t o adopt." R e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h Husband Of t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s , s e v e n t a l k e d a b o u t t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h t h e i r h u s b ands i n t e r m s o f t i m e . T h e r e seemed t o be e n d l e s s h o u r s t o t a l k t o g e t h e r b e f o r e c h i l d r e n . With the advent of y o u n g s t e r s , the added r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s c u t i n t o " t o g e t h e r t i m e " d r a s t i c a l l y . Two of the res p o n d e n t s saw t h i s as s i m p l y an u n a v o i d a b l e s i t u a t i o n t h a t d i d n o t p a r t i c u l a r l y t r o u b l e them: Respondent 1 "We don't f e e l d e p r i v e d ( f o r him) b e c a u s e a l l our f r i e n d s are i n the same boat." Respondent 2 " I t has s t o l e n t i m e f r o m our t o g e t h e r n e s s . I t s got to come from somewhere. I don't t h i n k i t has a n e g a t i v e e f f e c t . I can't see t h a t a t a l l . I t has deepened our r e l a t i o n s h i p because of t h i s s p e c i a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g . We spend more time at home w i t h the k i d s . " 44 For the o t h e r s , the s o l u t i o n to l o s t t ime was b a s i c a l l y to recapture i t through h i r i n g a babysit ter or c a l l i n g upon a support system. T h i s i s probably more e a s i l y accompl i shed w i t h i n t h i s h igher economic sample, but does seem to keep the ir re la t ionsh ips going smoothly or at least more smoothly. The fol lowing h ighl ight t h i s : Respondent 2 "We got away to Hawai i and th ings sor t of worked out." Respondent 5 "We haven't had much time alone - we go out and take her with us, but j u s t he and I being alone doesn't happen very o f ten . T h i s past weekend we l e f t her with fr iends for the weekend, that was exce l lent . . .we ' l l have to return the favour." Respondent 6 "We also make spec ia l time - you know, we can afford to get b a b y s i t t e r s when we go and do th ings or i f we need t i m e o u t , we've got our s u p p o r t s y s t e m s , l i k e 45 1 grandparents.... We've been v e r y l u c k y t h a t way, and I mean t h e r e are t i m e s when i t i s not p e r f e c t , you know, you j u s t f e e l you have to get away and then you do something about i t , you need to have that time again, to be together, to r e - e s t a b l i s h common ground. When t h i s t i m e t o g e t h e r was n o t , f o u n d , i t c a u s e d problems. One respondent i n d i c a t e d t hat there was a gradual d r i f t i n g apart, which was hard to stop. Respondent 7 "My husband and I have come c l o s e r to s e p a r a t i n g than we ever d i d b e f o r e k i d s . I got a b a b y s i t t e r the o t h e r n i g h t , on the spur of the moment, and when I t o l d my husband I wanted to go out to d i n n e r , he wondered what we would ever t a l k about...we haven't devoted much t i m e to our r e l a t i o n s h i p . " For others, time was expressed as a shared concern f o r a common i n t e r e s t , the c h i l d . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t s t h i s : Respondent 11 We r e a l i z e d we were going to s u r v i v e t h i s experience t o g e t h e r a n d ! t h i n k C . a n d I a r e a l o t c l o s e r and we 46 k i n d o f go i n t o g e t h e r a t n i g h t a n d l o o k a t t h e b a b y when we've g o t h i m t o s l e e p a n d we b o t h l o o k a t h i m a n d i t ' s . . . w e l l , we a r e a f a m i l y now." O b v i o u s l y w i t h t h e a d v e n t o f a c h i l d , t h e t i m e a woman h a s t o s p e n d w i t h h e r h u s b a n d i s c u r t a i l e d . As i n d i c a t e d by t h e s e t r a n s c r i p t s , t h i s c a n be s e e n a s a n u n a v o i d a b l e s i t u a t i o n , one t h a t a p e r s o n h a s t o l i v e w i t h o r i t c a n be s e e n a s a s i t u a t i o n t h a t m u s t be c o r r e c t e d a s m u c h a s p o s s i b l e . The women who t o o k c o r r e c t i v e m e a s u r e s t o a d j u s t t h e i r t i m e w i t h t h e i r h u s b a n d were t h o s e who, i n o t h e r p a r t s o f t h e t r a n s c r i p t s , i n d i c a t e d t h a t t h e i r h u s b a n d s w e r e " s u p p o r t i v e " a n d " u n d e r s t a n d i n g . " I t a p p e a r s t h a t when t i m e i s p a r t i c u l a r l y s o u g h t , t h a t c a n be c a l l e d " t o g e t h e r t i m e , " i t s b e n e f i t s a r e f e l t i n many a r e a s o f f a m i l y l i f e . When t h e t i m e was n o t f o u n d , when i t was n o t a p r i o r i t y t o f i n d t h e t i m e , t h e women o f t e n s p o k e o f t h e i r h u s b a n d s a s " n o n -s u p p o r t i v e " a n d " n o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g w h a t i t s l i k e t o be home w i t h c h i l d r e n a l l d a y ." N i n e o f t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e o f t h e i r h u s b a n d s i n t e r m s o f r o l e s . C o p i n g was n o t so much a m a t t e r o f w h e t h e r t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f p a r e n t h o o d was s h a r e d e q u a l l y , p a r t l y o r f e l l p r i m a r i l y on t h e woman's s h o u l d e r s , b u t w h e t h e r i n d i v i d u a l r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w e r e met. F o r e x a m p l e : 47 R e s p o n d e n t 1 "We h a d d e c i d e d t h a t I w o u l d q u i t when I h a d c h i l d r e n . I t was u n d e r s t o o d b e t w e e n t h e two o f us b e c a u s e we came f r o m t h o s e s o r t s o f f a m i l i e s w h e r e m o t h e r s s t a y e d home a n d t h a t ' s w h a t we f e l t was i m p o r t a n t . " T h e r e s p o n d e n t ' s u s e o f t h e p r o n o u n "we" i n d i c a t e s a m u t u a l a g r e e m e n t on what h e r r o l e i s t o be. T h i s m u t u a l a g r e e m e n t i s r e f l e c t e d i n t h e w h o l e t e n o r o f h e r i n t e r v i e w . She and h e r husband have m u t u a l l y - a g r e e d upon e x p e c t a t i o n s o f t h e i r r o l e s , t h a t a r e b e i n g m e t , a n d a r e , t h e r e f o r e , s a t i s f i e d . O t h e r r e s p o n d e n t s a l s o saw t h e i r r o l e s as p r i m a r i l y t h e c h i l d c a r e p e r s o n and were happy when t h e i r husbands " h e l p e d " them. The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : R e s p ondent 5 " I t h i n k i t ' s ( r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h h u s b a n d ) c h a n g e d , b u t I d o n ' t t h i n k i t h a s c h a n g e d f o r t h e w o r s e . I t ' s r e a l l y l i k e we h a v e c e r t a i n t h i n g s he d o e s and c e r t a i n t h i n g s I do. I t was n e v e r l i k e t h a t b e f o r e , we a l w a y s used t o s h a r e e v e r y t h i n g , but now I do most o f t h e s t u f f f o r L..., j u s t b e c a u s e I want t o and i t d o e s n ' t b o t h e r 48 h i m i f he i s n o t w i t h h e r a s o f t e n a s I am, t h a t ' s j u s t m o t h e r h o o d . He l i k e t o p l a y w i t h h e r , p i c k h e r up a n d s t u f f , b u t he d o e s n ' t f e e l t h e same way a s I d o , a n d I t h i n k m o s t men a r e t h e s a m e , s o I g e t h e r r e a d y i n t h e m o r n i n g a n d I do t h e f e e d i n g a n d t h a t i s o k a y , b u t he does t h e g r o c e r i e s and t h e g a r d e n , t h a t k i n d o f t h i n g i t j u s t s o r t o f e v o l v e d . . . s o nobody's e x h a u s t e d . " R e s p o n d e n t 6 "My h u s b a n d i s an e x c e l l e n t f a t h e r , he g i v e s a l o t o f t i m e t o S.... We d i s c u s s e d how we w e r e g o i n g t o do t h i n g s . He i s n o t a macho s o r t o f f e l l o w . He i s a f a m i l y man. He r e a l l y w a n t s t o be w i t h u s . I c o u n t my b 1 e s s i n g s . . . h e i s d o m e s t i c a n d c a p a b l e . He h e l p s w i t h a l o t of t h i n g s t h a t many men don't do." R e s p o n d e n t 15 " I have t h e p r i n c i p l e p a r t o f t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r t h e c h i l d r e n , b u t my h u s b a n d i s v e r y k e e n on h i s k i d s and he t r i e s t o be t h e r e a s much a s p o s s i b l e . I t ' s a l s o g r e a t t h a t he d o e s n ' t s e e me a s s i t t i n g home d o i n g n o t h i n g a l l d a y , so when he c o m e s home a t n i g h t a n d I'm e x h a u s t e d , he's w i l l i n g t o h e l p w i t h d i s h e s , t i d y i n g up and e v e r y t h i n g . " 49 O n l y one o f t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s r e p o r t e d h a v i n g what amounts t o a 50/50 s h a r e d r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f t h e i r c h i l d r e n and h o m e . T h i s a p p e a r s t o h a v e b e e n b r o u g h t a b o u t by r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s b u t was g r e a t l y f a c i l i t a t e d by t h e f l e x i b i l i t y o f t h e j o b s t h a t b o t h h u s b a n d and w i f e h a d. R e s p o n d e n t 12 "...and i n t h e a f t e r n o o n , t h e s i x y e a r o l d g o e s t o k i n d e r g a r t e n a n d my h u s b a n d a n d I s p l i t up t h e a f t e r n o o n s w i t h o u r y o u n g e r c h i l d . I do t h r e e a f t e r n o o n s a week a n d he d o e s t w o a f t e r n o o n s a week i n t e r m s o f c h i l d c a r e . . . t h i s i s a t e r r i f i c p r o g r a m m e we have and I keep t h i n k i n g t h a t I h a v e t o w r i t e an a r t i c l e a b o u t t h i s b e c a u s e i t r e a l l y w o r k s . B r e a k f a s t and l u n c h j u s t s o r t a r e y o u r own t h i n g , b u t t h e e v e n i n g m e a l we r e a l l y l i k e t o h a v e a s i t down m e a l . We do one week on and one week o f f . We s t a r t e d o f f w i t h t h e t r a d i t i o n a l way, one c o o k s , one c l e a n s up, b u t t h a t d i d n ' t w o r k b e c a u s e I'm t h a t k i n d o f c o o k t h a t when I s i t down t o e a t t h e k i t c h e n i s c l e a n . When he s i t s down t o e a t a f t e r he h a s b e e n c o o k i n g , t h e k i t c h e n i s a s h a m b l e s . So t h e p e r s o n who i s c o o k i n g f o r a w e e k d o e s t h e g r o c e r y s h o p p i n g , m a k e s t h e m e a l s a n d c l e a n s up. I t h i n k i t i s a l l b a s e d on g o o d w i l l . We d o n ' t f i g h t a b o u t i t . I f 50 s o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s , and I am i n v i t e d o u t and i t s my n i g h t t o c o o k , we j u s t t r a d e - i t ' s b a s e d on a w i l l i n g n e s s t o g e t a l o n g . " When t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w e r e n o t m e t , t h e women co p e d i n a v a r i e t y o f ways. R e s p o n d e n t 2 s o u g h t t h e a d v i c e o f a c o u n s e l l o r who h e l p e d h e r and h e r h u s b a n d t o c o m m u n i c a t e b e t t e r . She f e l t she had t o t a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f h e r c h i l d r e n and h e r h u s b a n d was n o t t h e r e a t a l l . Now, she r e p o r t s a f t e r t h e c o u n s e l l i n g s e s s i o n s : R e s p o n d e n t 2 ""He w i l l come home now a t s i x , he u s e d t o w o r k u n t i l e i g h t o r n i n e , b u t now he w i l l make an e f f o r t t o g e t home a t s i x and s t a y home u n t i l nine.... He w i l l t a k e them t o t h e a i r p o r t t o s e e t h e p l a n e s , o r t o t h e be a c h o r s h o p p i n g . . . i t ' s much b e t t e r . " Two o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s who f e l t t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w e r e n ' t b e i n g met i s s u e d " u l t i m a t u m s " t o t h e i r h u s b a n d s . B o t h f e l t t h a t i f t h e i r h u s b a n d s d i d n ' t c h a n g e , t h e y w o u l d l e a v e and were c a p a b l e o f r a i s i n g t h e c h i l d r e n on t h e i r own. R e s p o n d e n t 3 " I j u s t d e c i d e d t h a t i t w a s n ' t g o i n g t o w o r k , i f he 51 ( h u s b a n d ) was g o i n g t o be n a t t e r i n g a t me a l l t h e t i m e , t h a t I was g o i n g t o m o t h e r D... a s I t h o u g h t I n e e d e d t o m o t h e r him. I f ray h u s b a n d d i d n ' t l i k e i t , he c o u l d move on. A t f i r s t , I t r i e d t o keep e v e r y b o d y happy and t h e n I r e a l i z e d I was d e s t r o y i n g m y s e l f . I f e l t s t r o n g e n o u g h t h a t i f I had t o r a i s e him on my own, I w o u l d . " R e s p o n d e n t 12 " I f i n d a l o t o f men, t h a t once a c h i l d comes a l o n g , t h e y e x p e c t a woman's r o l e t o c h a n g e , i n o t h e r w o r d s , b e c o m e l i k e t h e i r m o t h e r w as. T h e r e i s a g r e a t d e a l o f p r e s s u r e t o s t a y home a n d q u i t t h e j o b a n d s t a y a t home an f u l f i l l t h e r o l e o f w i f e a n d m o t h e r , y o u k n o w , a woman who s t a y s a t home a n d c o o k s a n d d o e s t h a t s o r t o f t h i n g . I f e e l t h a t i t s h o u l d be 5 0 / 5 0 t h e w h o l e way, b u t my h u s b a n d f e e l s i t i s my r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . He h a s t o c h a n g e . " When a s k e d how s h e t h o u g h t t h i s was g o i n g t o w o r k o u t , R e s p o n d e n t 12 i n d i c a t e d s h e was w i l l i n g t o h a v e h e r h u s b a n d l e a v e and g e t i n f u l l - t i m e h e l p ( w h i c h was n o t a c c e p t a b l e w i t h h e r h u s b a n d t h e r e b e c a u s e i t c u t i n t o t h e i r p r i v a c y ) . U n l i k e R e s p o n d e n t 14, who had s u c c e s s f u l l y w o r k e d o u t a 5 0 / 5 0 s i t u a t i o n w i t h h e r h u s b a n d , t h e j o b s i n t h i s l a t t e r c a s e a r e 52 n o t n e a r l y as f l e x i b l e i n t e r r a s o f r e a r r a n g i n g h o u r s . F o r o t h e r s who f o u n d t h a t t h e y had t h e p r i m a r y c a r e r o l e a g a i n s t t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s , t h e i r means o f c o p i n g w i t h i t was one o f r e s i g n a t i o n . R e s p o n d e n t 9 " R e g a r d l e s s how s u p p o r t i v e t h e h u s b a n d i s , t h e c h i l d c a r e s t i l l r e s t s w i t h t h e m o t h e r . " R e s p o n d e n t 4 "D... s t i l l d o e s n ' t f e e l t h e same r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . I mean, i f he b a b y s i t s , y o u k n o w , t h a t ' s a b i g d e a l , when I'm w i t h t h e m , I'm j u s t a m o t h e r . I g e t r e a l l y r e s e n t f u l . . . t h e r e ' s no p o i n t b e l a b o u r i n g i t w i t h him." I n s u m m a r y , o f t h e 15 r e s p o n d e n t s , s e v e n w e r e c o n t e n t w i t h t h e i r r o l e s i n r e l a t i o n s h i p t o t h e i r h u s b a n d . S i x o f t h e s e r e s p o n d e n t s w e r e i n w h a t c a n be c l a s s e d " t r a d i t i o n a l " r o l e s , t h a t i s , t h e y w e r e t h e c h i e f c a r e t a k e r o f t h e c h i l d , w h e t h e r t h e y w o r k e d o u t s i d e t h e home o r n o t . T h e y w e r e s a t i s f i e d w i t h t h i s a r r a n g e m e n t . The s e v e n t h c a s e was R e s p o n d e n t 14 who was c o n t e n t w i t h w h a t s h e p e r c e i v e d a s a 5 0 / 5 0 s i t u a t i o n , a n e q u a l s h a r i n g o f c h i l d c a r e r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s . E i g h t o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s i n d i c a t e d 53 d i s c o n t e n t with t h e i r r o l e s as c h i e f c h i l d c a r e t a k e r . They f e l t that even when they were at home, the c h i l d care should be a shared s i tua t ion , at least after "five o'clock." The f i n a l area that respondents talked about in terms of t h e i r husbands was the f i n a n c i a l area . F i v e of the f i f t e e n respondents talked about the ir fee l ings of powerlessness vis a v i s t h e i r husbands, because they did not have a source of income. The fo l lowing h ighl ights th i s : Respondent 2 "I f e e l funny buying my husband a g i f t wi th h i s money.... I f e l t th ings weren't i n my hands anymore. I have no c o n t r o l . I have gone through d i f f e r e n t per iods when I f e l t I don't have any c o n t r o l , because I don't have any f i n a n c i a l c o n t r o l . " Respondent 3 "I k i n d of f e e l t h a t I'm not p u l l i n g my own weight . . .he (husband) wouldn't have minded help dur ing the recess ion." Respondent 9 "I l i k e having my own money. My husband i s not 54 t i g h t o r r e s t r i c t i v e , c h e q u e b o o k . " b u t i t ' s n i c e t o h a v e y o u r own R e s p o n d e n t 12 " I ' d n e v e r l e t a n y man ( r e f e r r i n g t o h u s b a n d ) l o o k a f t e r my money. I ' d n e v e r t r u s t h i m . " To c o p e w i t h t h i s f e e l i n g o f n e e d i n g s o m e s o r t o f f i n a n c i a l i n d e p e n d e n c e , one woman's h u s b a n d " s l i p p e d h e r s o m e t h i n g e x t r a " o v e r a n d a b o v e t h e h o u s e k e e p i n g money, t h e o t h e r women went b a c k t o work, e i t h e r f u l l - t i m e o r p a r t - t i m e . A l l o f them, t h o u g h , n eeded t o f e e l i n some way t h a t t h e y had some c o n t r o l o v e r some p a r t o f t h e money a f t e r h a v i n g h a d t h e i r own s o u r c e o f i n c o m e . S e l f - C o n c e p t Of t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s , s i x s p o k e o f t h e c h a n g e i n t h e i r s e l f - c o n c e p t s i n c e h a v i n g c h i l d r e n i n t e r m s o f d i s c o v e r i n g t h e i r t r u e c a p a b i l i t i e s . T h e s e women f e l t t h a t c h i l d r e n had s t r e t c h e d them t o use t h e i r f u l l p o t e n t i a l and a t t h e same t i m e was a g r e a t l e v e l e r . T he f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : 5 5 R e s p o n d e n t 3 " I t ( h a v i n g c h i l d r e n ) m y s e l f . I g o t t h r o u g h c o n v i c t i o n s . I l e a r n e d t o t h o u g h t I c o u l d b e ." s t r e n g t h e n e d my i m a g e o f i t a n d s t u c k by my own be m o r e p a t i e n t t h a n I e v e r R e s p o n d e n t 5 " I b e c a m e a w a r e o f m y s e l f a s a p e r s o n , how much I h a v e t o g i v e t o p e o p l e , my f a m i l y , my w o r k . I d i d n ' t t h i n k I c o u l d do i t a l l , b u t I g u e s s y o u j u s t do t h i n g s a n d I'm a s t r o n g e r p e r s o n f o r i t . I am much, much more o r g a n i z e d . " R e s p o n d e n t 6 " I was p r e t t y i d e a l i s t i c i n some ways a b o u t r a i s i n g k i d s . You know, I u s e d t o t h i n k I w o u l d n e v e r y e l l and I w o u l d n ' t , f o r e x a m p l e , one t i m e I ' l l n e v e r f o r g e t , I was r i d i n g t h e f e r r y f r o m N a n a i m o c o m i n g o v e r t o V a n c o u v e r and I was i n t h e washroom h e a r i n g t h i s woman t a l k t o h e r k i d s . ' I f y o u do t h a t I'm g o i n g t o w r i n g y o u r n e c k , ' a n d I t h o u g h t t h a t was t e r r i b l e , y o u c o u l d s a y t h a t t o y o u r k i d s , you know. I j u s t t h o u g h t 'where i s t h i s woman a t ? ' A n d r e a l l y , I m e a n , i t i s j u s t s o u n f a i r t o make 56 j u d g m e n t s on p a r e n t s u n t i l you a r e a p a r e n t . I'm more r e a l i s t i c . " R e s p ondent 8 " I had a l w a y s t h o u g h t o f m y s e l f as a p a c i f i s t and n o t a f i g h t e r , o n l y v e r b a l l y . I s u d d e n l y r e a l i z e d t h a t w i t h no p r o b l e m a t a l l , I c o u l d t e a r a n o t h e r human b e i n g a p a r t , i f he h u r t my k i d . " R e s p o n d e n t 13 " I j u s t t h o u g h t k i d s w e r e k i d s . I t s h o w s how i g n o r a n t I was w i t h o u t them. I j u s t t h o u g h t k i d s w e r e k i d s and j u s t d i d t h e i r t h i n g s . I d i d n ' t r e a l i z e a l l t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y and t h a t has been a r e a l e y e - o p e n e r . So I t h i n k i t ( s e l f - c o n c e p t ) has expanded, i f a n y t h i n g , I f e e l more c a p a b l e . " R e spondent 11 " I t h a s b r o u g h t o u t s o m e t h i n g i n me t h a t I n e v e r had b e f o r e , a r e a l c o n c e r n o v e r a l i t t l e l i f e t h a t h a s b e e n g i v e n t o me." N i n e o f t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e o f t h e i r s e l f -c o n c e p t i n t e r m s of p h y s i c a l a t t r a c t i v e n e s s and p h y s i c a l body 5 7 image. Seven of the nine thought that t h e i r bodies and personal appearance were not as good as before ch i ldren . For some, t h i s was a temporary, unavoidable phenomenon. For example: Respondent 3 "There i s nothing so unglamorous as having a baby, as far as I can see. My h a i r doesn't get washed, I don't have t ime for persona l appearances . You get the idea i t i s going on forever, that you are never going to have ten minutes to y o u r s e l f aga in . Whereas, now I know, as the ch i ldren get o lder , that i t i s going to get better." Respondent 4 "I don't spend t ime on mysel f and I know i t w i l l only be a short t i m e . . . . I f e e l I did my th ing and I want, e spec ia l ly when they are young, to r e a l l y devote my time to them." Respondent 7 "I'm o v e r w e i g h t . I j u s t don't have t i m e to e x e r c i s e . I don't spend as much money on myself for c lothes , but that's just the way i t is ." 58 A l t h o u g h t h e s e women a r e n o t c o m p l a i n i n g a b o u t t h e i r l a c k o f p e r s o n a l a t t r a c t i v e n e s s , t h e r e i s an a i r o f r e s i g n a t i o n i n t h e i r i n t e r v i e w s on t h i s t o p i c . On t h e o t h e r h a n d , t h e women who s h a r e d t h e f e e l i n g t h a t t h e i r p e r s o n a l a p p e a r a n c e was n o t a s g o o d , b u t w e r e t a k i n g s t e p s t o r e c t i f y t h e s i t u a t i o n , p r i m a r i l y t h r o u g h e x e r c i s e , were much more o p t i m i s t i c and "up" i n t h i s a r e a o f t h e i n t e r v i e w . F o r e x a m p l e : R e s p o n d e n t 1 " I t h i n k t h e r e a s o n I'm a l i t t l e o v e r w e i g h t i s I'm h a v i n g s u c h a good t i m e . I e x e r c i s e so I have t h e e n e r g y t o g e t t h r o u g h t h e day, no m a t t e r what h a p p e n s . I t h i n k e x e r c i s e h a s a l o t t o do w i t h i t , w i t h my s e l f -c o n c e p t ... t he d a y s I d o n ' t g e t o u t by q u a r t e r t o n i n e f o r e x e r c i s e I'm a b a s k e t c a s e . " R e s p o n d e n t 6 " I w a l k a r o u n d t h e s e a w a l l a t l e a s t o n c e a week w i t h my c h i l d . I t ' s h a r d w o r k , b u t i t ' s h a r d e r s t a y i n g home.... We go f o r a w a l k e v e r y n i g h t a f t e r d i n n e r . . . . I h a v e d i s c o t a p e s s o I e x e r c i s e . I t r y t o g e t i n h a l f an ho u r a d a y . " 59 R e s p o n d e n t 14 " I u s e d t o s e e m y s e l f a s s l i m , a t t r a c t i v e , and now I s e e m y s e l f a s a m a t r o n a n d t h a t b o t h e r s me, s o I e x e r c i s e . " R e s p o n d e n t 10 "My s e l f - c o n c e p t t o o k a n a s t y b l o w . I g a i n e d a l o t o f w e i g h t . I d i d n ' t f e e l g o o d a b o u t t h e way I l o o k e d , u n t i l I c o u l d g e t back e x e r c i s i n g . " R e s p o n d e n t 15 " R u n n i n g e v e r y d a y i s e s s e n t i a l f o r me. I t h e l p e d me g e t b a c k i n s h a p e a f t e r c h i l d b i r t h , e v e n t h o u g h y o u a r e n e v e r q u i t e t h e same. Two o f t h e women f e l t t h a t e x e r c i s e had k e p t t h e i r b o d i e s f r o m c h a n g i n g a t a l l a f t e r c h i l d r e n . R e s p o n d e n t 5 " I was b a c k a t e x e r c i s e c l a s s a b o u t a week a f t e r t h e baby. My body h a s n ' t c h a n g e d a t a l l . " i 60 R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I go t o a l o t o f e x e r c i s e c l a s s e s s o p h y s i c a l l y I d o n ' t f e e l any d i f f e r e n t . " T h r e e o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e o f t h e i r s e l f - c o n c e p t i n t e r m s o f how o t h e r s saw them. When s i g n i f i c a n t o t h e r s i n t h e woman's l i f e , p a r t i c u l a r l y t h e h u s b a n d , s u p p o r t e d t h e woman, h e r s e l f - c o n c e p t was much h i g h e r a n d c o n v e r s e l y i f t h e s e p e o p l e were n o t s u p p o r t i v e , t h e r e s p o n d e n t ' s s e l f - c o n c e p t was l o w e r e d . F o r e x a m p l e : R e s p o n d e n t 1 "My s e l f - c o n c e p t w o u l d n ' t h a v e b e e n a s g o o d i f I d i d n ' t h a v e t h i s g r o u p . I h a t e t o k e e p r e f e r r i n g t o my g r o u p , b u t I t h i n k I w o u l d h a v e h ad a v e r y d i f f e r e n t s e l f - c o n c e p t b e c a u s e I f e l t v e r y i m p o r t a n t as a t e a c h e r . I t h o u g h t I was r e a l l y h e l p i n g h u m a n i t y . So my g r o u p d e c i d e d we s h o u l d t r e a t t h i s ( h a v i n g c h i l d r e n ) as o u r j o b now, a n d we a r e t r y i n g t o do t h e b e s t j o b we can.... We r e a l l y h e l p e a c h o t h e r by s a y i n g we c o u l d do a n y t h i n g we w a n t e d a n d t h i s i s w h a t we h a v e c h o s e n t o do a n d do a r e a l l y good j o b a t i t . " " I d i d n ' t f e e l I was p u s h e d a s i d e , p u t i n t h e h o u s e a t t h e b o t t o m o f t h e t o t e m p o l e a n d w a s n ' t b r i n g i n g i n 61 a n y money, y o u k n o w , was w o r t h l e s s o r a n y t h i n g . I t h o u g h t i t was a v e r y i m p o r t a n t j o b . . . i t was u n d e r s t o o d t h a t I w o u l d be home...my p a r e n t s s a i d t h e y knew r a i s i n g c h i l d r e n h a p p e n e d o n l y o n c e , t h e y a r e l i t t l e b a b i e s a n d t h e y a r e g o n e b e f o r e y o u know i t . T h e y w a n t e d me t o s t a y home v e r y much." R e s p o n d e n t 12 " I t ( p h y s i c a l s e l f - c o n c e p t ) h a s d e t e r i o t a t e d . . . . I d o n ' t f e e l I'm a s a t t r a c t i v e a s I was.... I'm n o t g e t t i n g t h e f e e d b a c k f r o m o t h e r p e o p l e . . . f r o m my h u s b a n d . " R e s p o n d e n t 15 "You k now, I know I d o n ' t l o o k t h e same a s I d i d b e f o r e k i d s , I've t r i e d and i t ' s i m p o s s i b l e . Some t h i n g s a r e i r r e v e r s i b l e . B u t , when my h u s b a n d t e l l s me I l o o k g r e a t , t h a t he h a s y e t t o meet a n y o n e e l s e t h a t a p p e a l s as much a f t e r a l l t h e s e y e a r s , I d o n ' t r e a l l y m i n d . " I n summary, f o u r t e e n o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s r e p o r t e d a b e t t e r s e l f - i m a g e . They f e l t t h e y had been c h a l l e n g e d by t h e r o l e o f p a r e n t i n g a n d h a d e x p a n d e d t h e m s e l v e s , t h e y w e r e "more p a t i e n t , " "more c a p a b l e , " and "more u n d e r s t a n d i n g . " M a n y a c k n o w l e d g e d a t e m p o r a r y s e t b a c k i n p h y s i c a l 62 a t t r a c t i v e n e s s . H o w e v e r , a s i n t h e s e c t i o n on " r e a s o n s f o r d e l a y i n g " t h e r e i s a f e e l i n g o f b e i n g i n c o n t r o l o f t h e s i t u a t i o n . The women have t a k e n an a n a l y t i c a l a p p r o a c h t o t h e s i t u a t i o n . T h e y a r e a b l e t o s t a t e t h e p r o b l e m o f n e g a t i v e s e l f - c o n c e p t i n t e r r a s o f " b e i n g o v e r w e i g h t , " " b e i n g t i r e d , " o r " l o o k i n g s l o p p y " a n d a r e t a k i n g s t e p s t o r e c t i f y i t -p r i m a r i l y t h r o u g h e x e r c i s e . S u p p o r t G r o u p s F o u r t e e n o f t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e i n t e r m s o f s u p p o r t g r o u p s . A l l f o u r t e e n had some s o r t o f o u t s i d e s u p p o r t g r o u p b e s i d e s f a m i l y on w h i c h t h e y r e l i e d . T he k e y t o t h e e f f e c t i v e n e s s o f t h e s u p p o r t i n t h i s s a m p l e a p p e a r s t o be t h e r e g u l a r i t y o f t h e m e e t i n g s . T h o s e women who m e e t r e g u l a r l . y w i t h o t h e r women, who f e l t t h e y had p e o p l e t h e y c o u l d r e a d i l y s h a r e t h e i r f e e l i n g s w i t h , s p o k e w i t h m o r e e n t h u s i a s m a n d c o n t e n t m e n t o f t h e i r r o l e s . When t h e m e e t i n g s w e r e more h a p h a z a r d , o r by c h a n c e , t h e women s t i l l a c k n o w l e d g e d t h e s u p p o r t , b u t i n l e s s p o s i t i v e t e r m s . I t w o u l d a p p e a r a l s o t h a t t h e make-up o f a n e i g h b o u r h o o d i s a f a c t o r . When t h e n e i g h b o u r s a r e r e t i r e d o r work f u l l - t i m e , t h e r e i s n o t an e a s y o p p o r t u n i t y f o r m o t h e r h o o d n e t w o r k i n g . T h e f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : 6 3 R e s p o n d e n t 3 " T h e r e a r e a l o t o f o l d e r p e o p l e , t h e o n l y p e o p l e w i t h k i d s a r e a c r o s s t h e r o a d , t h e y a r e b o t h l a w y e r s , t h e y h a v e n ' t any f r e e t i m e . . . t h e weekends a r e g r e a t . R e s p o n d e n t 5 "We use o u r f r i e n d s l i k e f a m i l y . We r e a l l y c o u n t on t h e m t o be t h e r e . T h e y t o o k o u r c h i l d w h i l e we h a d a weekend away." R e s p o n d e n t 6 " I s i t down a n d t a l k w i t h my g i r l f r i e n d s - l i k e I was t a l k i n g t o d a y w i t h a f r i e n d who d r o p p e d i n w i t h h e r t h r e e y e a r o l d a n d b a b y . She was f i t t o be t i e d . Y o u k n o w , y o u c a n o n l y l i s t e n , b u t t h a t ' s w h a t s h e needed.... When I g e t f r u s t r a t e d , I t a l k t o my g i r 1 f r i en d s... w e a l l t a l k t o g e t h e r . R e s p o n d e n t 7 "My f r i e n d h a d a b a b y a t t h e same t i m e . We r e n t a v i d e o and o r d e r i n a p i z z a . We a r r a n g e o u r s o c i a l e v e n t s t o accommodate t h e c h i l d r e n . " "A s u p p o r t g r o u p f o r me w o u l d be t h e Y.W.C.A. I 64 w e n t t h e r e t o e x e r c i s e c l a s s . . . a n o t h e r i s a f r i e n d . We m e e t o n c e a week - s o m e t i m e s we j u s t g e t t o g e t h e r o r go s a i l i n g o r t o S t a n l e y P a r k . We t a l k a b o u t t h e p r o b l e m s we a r e h a v i n g w i t h o u r c h i l d r e n o r j u s t s o r t o f s h a r e . T h i s i s a b i g s u p p o r t . " R e s p o n d e n t 8 "Our f r i e n d s . . . m o s t o f us don't r e a l l y l i v e c l o s e so t h a t c o n t a c t w o u l d be i n f r e q u e n t . . . t h e i r (women a t home) s c o p e o f c o n v e r s a t i o n i s p r e t t y n a r r o w . . . . I f i n d I depend on my p e d i a t r i c i a n . He's a v e r y good man." R e s p o n d e n t 9 "We d o n ' t h a v e t o o many f r i e n d s t h a t a r e a t home f u l l - t i m e . So when I was a t home, I was a b i t o f a n i s o l a t e . " R e s p o n d e n t 10 "I'm i n a m o t h e r s ' s u p p o r t g r o u p t h a t m e e t s o n c e a week. When I was i n t h e h o s p i t a l , t h e p u b l i c h e a l t h n u r s e m e n t i o n e d t h e r e w a s a d r o p i n g r o u p i n my n e i g h b o u r h o o d . . i t ' s a f a n t a s t i c s u p p o r t g r o u p . . . i t was a p l a c e t o d i s c u s s a m u l t i t u d e o f p r o b l e m s . . . y o u t a l k a n d 65 y o u come away l a u g h i n g . . . y o u n e e d some s o r t o f s u p p o r t g r o u p . . . i t ' s a myth a b o u t s u p e r mommy." R e s p o n d e n t 13 " I an r e a c h i n g o u t m o r e t o women. I r e a l l y d o n ' t h a v e many f r i e n d s h i p s a n y m o r e a n d i n an e f f o r t t o g e t i n t o t h e f e m a l e t h i n g , I even t o o k up b r i d g e . " R e s p o n d e n t 5 "You know i f I d i d n ' t s e e my t h r e e o r f o u r c l o s e f r i e n d s t h a t I m e e t w i t h f o r c o f f e e , I w o u l d n ' t e n j o y w h a t I'm d o i n g n e a r l y a s much. We m e e t a t l e a s t o n c e a week w i t h t h e k i d s a n d j u s t c h a t . I a l w a y s come away l a u g h i n g , f e e l i n g up, i n f a c t , y o u k n o w , I t h i n k we s o m e t i m e s e v e n m eet more t h a n o n c e a week - i t ' s t h a t g o o d . " Two o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s h ad u n i q u e s u p p o r t s y s t e m s . The f i r s t i s a v e r y o r g a n i z e d g r o u p o f m o t h e r s who h a v e s e t o u t t o make t h e i r r o l e s a s m o t h e r s t h e " b e s t p o s s i b l e . " The g r o u p t h e y have o r g a n i z e d i s w e l l t h o u g h t o u t and d y n a m i c . I n o r d e r t o u n d e r s t a n d how t h e g r o u p w o r k s a n d f e e l a s e n s e o f w o r t h i t g i v e s t o t h e r e s p o n d e n t , h e r d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e g r o u p i s r e p r o d u c e d i n i t s e n t i r e t y ( w i t h h e r p e r m i s s i o n ) i n A p p e n d i x 6 6 E. A l t h o u g h t h e g r o u p p r o b a b l y h a s a h i g h i n c o m e a v e r a g e , many o f t h e i d e a s t h a t a r e p r e s e n t e d do no n e c e s s a r i l y r e f l e c t a need f o r l a r g e f i n a n c i a l o u t l a y . The s e c o n d c a s e i s t h a t o f t h e m o t h e r o f t h e Downe S y n d r o m e b a b y . She r e p o r t s , t h a t r i g h t a t t h e h o s p i t a l , a s o c i a l w o r k e r r e f e r r e d h e r t o P i l o t P a r e n t s f o r h a n d i c a p p e d c h i l d r e n a n d f r o m t h e r e t o a g r o u p s p e c i f i c a l l y f o r Downe Syndrome b a b i e s and t h e i r p a r e n t s . The s o c i a l w o r k e r came t o t h e h o u s e e v e r y t w o w e e k s a n d e x p l a i n e d t h e s e r v i c e s i n t h e c o m m u n i t y . R i g h t a w a y , t h e m o t h e r h a d " a l l s o r t s o f p e o p l e w a n t i n g t o s h a r e t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e s . " The r e s p o n d e n t i s c o p i n g w e l l w i t h h e r s p e c i a l s i t u a t i o n and t h e s u p p o r t g r o u p s i n t h e c o m m u n i t y have been a s i g n i f i c a n t f a c t o r . C a r e e r s a n d / o r Homemaking A l l f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s had f u l l - t i m e p r o f e s s i o n a l j o b s b e f o r e t h e y had c h i l d r e n . S e v e n o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s had s u b s e q u e n t l y b e c o m e f u l l - t i m e h o m e m a k e r s , f i v e w e r e s t i l l w o r k i n g f u l l - t i m e and t h r e e were now w o r k i n g p a r t - t i m e . Of t h e s e v e n who h a d c h o s e n t o s t a y home, s i x r e p o r t e d t h a t t h e y h a d h a d e n o u g h o f t h e i r j o b s ( w h i c h i n f i v e c a s e s was t e a c h i n g ) and t h a t t h e y w e re r e a d y f o r a c h a n g e . T h r e e o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s i n t h i s g r o u p had w o r k e d p a r t - t i m e when t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d was b o r n , b u t f e l t t h e y c o u l d n o t when t h e s e c o n d 67 c h i l d came. They a l l f e l t they would e v e n t u a l l y go back to work, but at s o m e t h i n g d i f f e r e n t from t h e i r p r e v i o u s occupation. Their state i s a temporary one to which they want to devote the ir f u l l energies at the moment. The one problem caused by the l o s s of an o u t s i d e job was seen as l ack of i n t e l l e c t u a l s t i m u l a t i o n and t h i s could be obta ined through u n i v e r s i t y courses or groups wi th speakers . The f o l l o w i n g h igh l ight th i s : Respondent 1 "This i s my j o b . . . t h i s baby i s only a baby for a l i t t l e while, so I ' l l stay home...my ch i ldren come f i r s t . I make no bones about th i s . . . . I would never get involved in a career u n t i l they are underway." Respondent 3 " . . . i t ' s f l e x i b l e . I don't see i t as f o r e v e r . I was ready for a change anyway. The b iggest problem i s i n t e l l e c t u a l s t i m u l a t i o n . . . . I th ink I ' l l take some courses. Respondent 4 "I taught for 1 0 y e a r s . . . ready for a change." 68 R e s p o n d e n t 6 " I w o u l d l i k e t o go t o L a n g a r a a n d t a k e I n t e r i o r D e c o r a t i n g . . . b u t r i g h t now, i t ' s n i c e t o be home w i t h t h e k i d s . " Of t h e t h r e e r e s p o n d e n t s who a r e w o r k i n g p a r t - t i m e , a l l f e l t t h e y h a v e t h e b e s t o f b o t h w o r l d s . T h e y h a v e j o b s a n d e m p l o y e r s t h a t a l l o w f o r f l e x i b i l i t y o f h o u r s . T h e y h a v e an o p p o r t u n i t y t o k e e p t h e i r c a r e e r s g o i n g , b u t s t i l l h a v e t i m e w i t h t h e i r c h i l d r e n . The c o u p l e i s a b l e t o k e e p up some o f t h e " l u x u r i e s " t h e y w a n t , a n d t h e woman i s a b l e t o k e e p h e r f i n a n c i a l i n d e p e n d e n c e . F u r t h e r , t h e s e women i n d i c a t e t h e y a r e n o t i n t e r e s t e d i n g e t t i n g a h e a d i n t h e i r j o b s , w h i c h may n e c e s s i t a t e f u l l - t i m e ' w o r k . T h e y l i k e w h e r e t h e y a r e . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s s i t u a t i o n " R e s p o n d e n t 7 " I t i s an o p p o r t u n i t y t o k e e p my c a r e e r o n - g o i n g , p r o b a b l y h e l p s me t o be a good p a r e n t . I'm f r e s h a t work a n d I'm f r e s h a t home. My t o l e r a n c e s t r e t c h e s a l o t f a r t h e r . . . m y j o b i s e a s y . I'm i n a n i c e c o m f o r t a b l e r u t a n d i t i s a n i c e p l a c e t o b e , c o n s i d e r i n g my p r i o r i t i e s h a v e s h i f t e d a n d t h e y a r e f o c u s e d a t home.... I t a i l o r -69 make t h i s j o b . . . . I ' v e s e e n women s e t t l e i n t o m a r r i a g e a n d l e t t h e h u s b a n d t a k e o n t h e b r e a d w i n n i n g c a p a c i t y . . . t h e y have n o t h i n g t o f a l l b ack on i f s o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s t o t h a t r e l a t i o n s h i p . I'm n o t a n t i c i p a t i n g a n y t h i n g h a p p e n i n g , b u t y o u j u s t n e v e r know...you n e e d some p e r s o n a l s e c u r i t y . " R e s p o n d e n t 11 " I t ( p a r t - t i m e w o r k ) i s b e i n g l o o k e d a t v e r y f a v o u r a b l e . . . t h i s way I d o n ' t t a k e my j o b home." R e s p o n d e n t 14 "My h u s b a n d a n d I h a v e w o r k e d o u t a g r e a t a r r a n g e m e n t t o s h a r e k i d s and j o b s . " Of t h e f i v e r e s p o n d e n t s who were w o r k i n g f u l l - t i m e , none o f t h e m r e p o r t e d b e i n g s a t i s f i e d . T h e y f e l t t h e y h a d t h r e e r o l e s : w i f e , m o t h e r , a n d c a r e e r . T h e y c o u l d n ' t k e e p a l l t h r e e g o i n g , s o m e t h i n g " h a d t o g i v e . " I n t w o c a s e s , t h e j o b s u f f e r e d ; i n t w o , t h e c h i l d r e n ; a n d i n t h e f i f t h , t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h t h e h u s b a n d . I n many c a s e s t h e r e was a g r e a t d e a l o f g u i l t a s s o c i a t e d w i t h f u l l - t i m e e m p l o y m e n t , b e c a u s e t h e r o l e o f p a r e n t i n g s t i l l f a l l s p r i m a r i l y on t h e woman's s h o u l d e r s . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : 70 R e s p o n d e n t 5 " E v e r y o n e you t a l k t o i s w o r k i n g p a r t - t i m e , b u t t h e y j u s t d o n ' t go f o r i t h e r e . . . . T h a t l e a v e s me f r u s t r a t e d . I w a n t t o w o r k . I d o n ' t w a n t t o s t a y a t home 7 d a y s a week. I d o n ' t w a n t t o do t h a t b u t I w a n t m o r e t i m e w i t h my c h i 1 d . . . p r i m a r i 1 y , I w a n t t o w o r k f o r f i n a n c i a l r e a s o n s . . . . We c o u l d s u r v i v e , b u t we w o u l d be s u r v i v i n g , we w o u l d n ' t be m a i n t a i n i n g . . . w e t a l k a l o t a b o u t g u i l t , y o u k n o w , y o u h a v e t o go b a c k t o w o r k . I h a v e a n i n c r e d i b l e b a b y s i t t e r , b u t i t ' s n o t t h e same." R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I f s o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s t o my h u s b a n d ( w i t h t h e d i v o r c e r a t e ) , I c a n t a k e c a r e o f m y s e l f . . . . I'm a r o l e m o d e l f o r my d a u g h t e r . I d o n ' t t h i n k s h e i s g o i n g t o be a b l e t o be t a k e n c a r e o f by a man a l l h e r l i f e . . . w e w a n t t o m a i n t a i n a l i f e s t y l e t h a t r e q u i r e s me t o work.... I c a n ' t e n j o y b e i n g a t home f u l l - t i m e . . . 1 t h i n k I w i l l e n j o y h e r when she goes t o s c h o o l . . . . I have d e l i b e r a t e l y m a x i m i z e d my t i m e a t home...before, I p r o b a b l y w o u l d have w o r k e d l a t e . . . m y e m p l o y e r i s f l e x i b l e . I f s h e i s s i c k , he w i l l a l l o w me t o be away...there i s a l w a y s t h a t g u i l t , y o u s h o u l d be home a l l d a y , w h i c h I d o n ' t b e l i e v e . . . i t 71 w o u l d be o k a y , d o n ' t . " i f I h a d a b a b y who c o o e d a l l d a y , b u t I R e s p o n d e n t 12 "A y e a r i n an a d u l t ' s l i f e when i t g o e s maybe a w r i n k l e o r a g r e y h a i r t o show f o r i t , b u t i n a b a b y , t h e r e i s s u c h a c h a n g e . . . . We e x p e c t t o o m u c h o f o u r s e l v e s . You a r e n o t g e t t i n g any j o y f i l l i n g a l l t h o s e b a s e s . . . q u i t e o f t e n a woman c h o o s e s t o e l i m i n a t e t h e h u s b a n d s o m e t h i n g h a s t o g i v e . . . y o u c a n ' t h a v e i t a l l , a w o n d e r f u l c a r e e r , a w o n d e r f u l m a r r i a g e , and a w o n d e r f u l c h i 1 d . . . s o m e b o d y a n d s o m e t h i n g i s g o i n g t o g e t s h o r t c h a n g e d . . . . You f e e l t r e m e n d o u s g u i l t when you l e a v e y o u r c h i l d e a c h day...you h a v e t o c h o o s e b e c a u s e y o u c a n ' t h a v e i t a l l . " R e s p o n d e n t 10 " I h a v e a l o t o f g u i l t c o m i n g b a c k , , , e v e n l a s t week when my c h i l d had t h e m e a s l e s , do I s t a y a t home and l e t my c o - w o r k e r s down b e c a u s e i f y o u h a v e c h o s e n t o w o r k , y o u h a v e a r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o y o u r p l a c e o f e m p l o y m e n t . Y o u c a n ' t j u s t s a y 'I'm a m o t h e r . 1 " 72 Respondent 8 "The day care i s abominable (the researcher asked i f she had cons idered q u i t t i n g work) , . . . I j u s t cou ldn ' t be home." In summary, the women in th i s sample who stay at home on a f u l l - t i m e bas i s are happy which t h e i r d e c i s i o n They were ready for a change i n c a r e e r , they ob ta in i n t e l l e c t u a l s t i m u l a t i o n from sources other than career and see t h e i r s i t u a t i o n as temporary. They plan to get back to work at some l a t e r t ime. For the women i n t h i s sample who have chosen to work f u l l t ime , there i s an i n d i c a t i o n they are unable to f i l l a l l of the ir roles we l l , whereas part-t ime workers fee l they have "the best of a l l possible worlds." Having Another Chi ld Of the ten respondents who spoke about having another c h i l d , nine spoke about i t i n terms of t h e i r age. There was concern that as the woman got o l d e r , she would have l e s s energy, there was a danger of medical problems, and there was a d e s i r e to "normal ize" t h e i r l i v e s , as they weren't g e t t i n g any younger. Six of the respondents acknowledged that they would use amniocentis is . One of the respondents f e l t because of her i n c r e a s e d age she may die whi le her c h i l d was f a i r l y 73 young, and t h e r e f o r e a s i b l i n g would be good as a c o n t i n u i n g f a m i l y u n i t . Only one of the respondents spoke of having another c h i l d in terms of f i n a n c i a l outlay. However, unlike the others, th i s was to be her t h i r d and not her second c h i l d . The other unique case was the mother of the Downe Syndrome baby. She f e l t that the t h i r d c h i l d would take the pressure o f f her normal daughter v i s a v i s her handicapped b r o t h e r . The fol lowing h ighl ight t h i s : Respondent 1 "I'm 35 n o w . . . i f I had another c h i l d , I would be 37 at l e a s t so I r e a l l y have to th ink about i t because I know people who have had them at 35 and are r e a l l y t i r e d . . . i f we got i n t o the f i n a n c i a l s i t u a t i o n where we couldn't get babys i t t ing , I wouldn't have i t . . . i t (having another) takes time and money." Respondent 6 "I'm. very consc ious that 35 i s sor t of a c u t - o f f date and there were complications with my f i r s t . " Respondent 7 "If we are going to have more k i d s , we are going to have to do i t soon because of my age...the l i m i t a t i o n s i t 74 h a s p u t on i t a g a i n . " my l i f e . I h a v e t o c o n s i d e r i f I w a n t t o do R e s p o n d e n t 11 " . . . t o have a c l o s e r e l a t i v e i f a n y t h i n g h a p p e n e d . " I n summary, h a v i n g c h i l d r e n a f t e r 30 p r e s e n t s p r o b l e m s i n t e r m s o f h a v i n g a s many c h i l d r e n a s one w a n t s , w h i l e s t i l l f e e l i n g o n e h a s e n o u g h e n e r g y . T h e f e a r o f m e d i c a l a b n o r m a l i t i e s i s r e d u c e d by t h e u s e o f a m n i o c e n t i s i s . A g a i n , t h e a n a l y t i c a l a p p r o a c h t o t h e s i t u a t i o n i s p r e s e n t e d by t h e women. T h e y c o n s i d e r a l l t h e p o s s i b i l i t i e s , m e d i c a l , p h y s i c a l , and e m o t i o n a l . I t i s n o t a d e c i s i o n t a k e n l i g h t l y . C h i l d r e n by P r e v i o u s M a r r i a g e I t w o u l d seem l o g i c a l t h a t i f women m a r r y l a t e r t o o l d e r men, t h e r e i s a g r e a t e r p o s s i b i l i t y o f t h e r e b e i n g c h i l d r e n by p r e v i o u s m a r r i a g e s . I n t h i s s a m p l e , t w o o f t h e women w e r e m a r r i e d t o men who h a d o t h e r c h i l d r e n . I n b o t h c a s e s , i t a c t e d a s an i r r i t a n t . I n one c a s e , t h e h u s b a n d c o m p a r e d ( u n f a v o u r a b l y ) h i s c h i l d r e n i n h i s s e c o n d m a r r i a g e w i t h t h o s e i n t h e f i r s t . I n t h e s e c o n d s i t u a t i o n , t h e f o r m e r w i f e made t h e s i t u a t i o n u n p l e a s a n t r e g a r d i n g t h e i n t e r a c t i o n o f h e r c h i l d r e n w i t h t h e r e s p o n d e n t ' s c h i l d r e n . N e i t h e r women h a d 75 found a so lut ion for the s i t u a t i o n . Finances F i v e of the respondents spoke i n terras of c h i l d r e n and f i n a n c e s . They acknowledged that r a i s i n g c h i l d r e n today i s expens ive , that t h e i r pay cheques have to cover more. C h i l d c a r e , c h i l d r e n ' s c l o t h e s , and c h i l d r e n ' s programmes "eat up a l o t of the money" that before went to the couple . However, perhaps because of the economic sample, t h i s was not seen as too much of a hardship. The women simply cut down on certa in purchases. The other aspect of f inances that three of the women spoke of (and th is was mentioned under the sect ion "husbands") was the ir fee l ings of loss of personal income. The fo l lowing h igh l ight t h i s : Respondent 5 "You have been a wage earner for so long and a l l of a sudden you are not . . .you th ink t h i s i s my job , I should be able to do i t (so you don't want to h i r e a b a b y s i t t e r and spend money). 76 " I d o n ' t make b a b y s i t t e r b e c a u s e h u s b a n d . . . . I d o n ' t much m o n e y . . . . I make h a l f . . . I t h a t i s t h e a r r a n g e m e n t I have h a v e e x t r a money." pay t h e w i t h my R e s p o n d e n t 14 "Keep y o u r own m o n e y . . . i f y o u a r e d e p e n d e n t on somebody e l s e , you g e t s c r e w e d . " I t i s o b v i o u s l y an a r e a o f c o n t e n t i o n i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s . I n t h e c a s e s w h e r e i t was n o t a n i s s u e , t h e women s t i l l w o r k e d f u l l - t i m e o r t h e h u s b a n d and w i f e saw t h e i r r o l e s as e q u a l and s h a r e d t h e f i n a n c e s . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : R e s p o n d e n t 10 "G... h a s b e e n v e r y g o o d . He r e c o g n i z e s I h a v e g i v e n up h a l f a p a y i n g j o b . . . . I'm s t i l l w o r k i n g f u l l -t i m e a n d m o r e , , , f o r t u n a t e 1 y G... r e a l i z e s t h a t . . . t h e r e was h i s and m i n e , now i t ' s o u r s . " R e s p o n d e n t 15 "My h u s b a n d a n d I h a v e one a c c o u n t - when i t r u n s ou t o f money, we're b o t h o u t o f money." 77 Energy Level Fourteen of the f i f t een respondents spoke about fatigue and acknowledged that t h e i r age was a f a c t o r . Fat igue ref lected on the ir a t t i tude towards the ir ch i ldren and towards t h e i r husband. One coping s t r a t e g y mentioned was e x e r c i s e . Those women who e x e r c i s e d seemed to f e e l the c o n s t r a i n t s of fatigue less . Since the fatigue was seen as psychological as w e l l as p h y s i c a l a second means of coping was "to get away." Women who "got away from i t a l l " for awhile were better able to deal with the motherhood ro le . Again, the socio-economic l eve l of the sample probably makes th is easier . The fo l lowing h ighl ight th i s : Respondent 3 "You have l e s s energy f o r c h i l d r e n . . . . d r a i n e d , you know, I would be up in the middle night and that just zonked me." Respondent 4 "I can t e l l you, I'm r e a l l y t i r e d . . . . I'm not the equivalent of macho man...it accumulates and I have to do something about i t . . . s o I went to Whist ler by myself." I was of the 78 R e s p o n d e n t 5 " I t h i n k i t ' s h a r d e r on y o u r a i s i n g y o u r c h i l d r e n w hen y o u a r e o l d e r . . . y o u d o n ' t h a v e t h e same e n e r g y a t a l l . " R e s p o n d e n t 7 " I t t a k e s s o much t i m e a n d e n e r g y , we a r e b o t h q u i t e t i r e d , t h e r e ' s n o t enough e n e r g y t o g i v e t o my h u s b a n d . " R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I f f o u n d i t e x h a u s t i n g . . . y o u know c a r r y i n g someone and I have t o c a r r y t h i s c h i l d a l l day l o n g . " R e s p o n d e n t 1 " I h a v e a l o t o f e n e r g y , I t h i n k t h a t ' s b e c a u s e I e x e r c i s e . " R e s p o n d e n t 15 " I d e f i n i t e l y don't have t h e e n e r g y I had when I was y o u n g e r , b u t I w o u l d have even l e s s i f I d i d n ' t r u n . You k n o w , I t h i n k I w o u l d a l s o h a v e l e s s i f I d i d n ' t h a v e f r i e n d s t h a t h e l p e d me t o l a u g h . A l o t o f t h e f a t i g u e i s 79 p s y c h o l o g i c a l and n o t p h y s i c a l . 1 1 R e s p o n d e n t 11 " F a t i g u e i s a m a j o r p r o b l e m , I d o n ' t h a v e t h e e n e r g y . W i t h f a t i g u e comes p a t i e n c e . When I'm r e s t e d , I c a n h a n d l e a n y t h i n g . " I n summary, f a t i g u e was s e e n as a s i g n i f i c a n t p r o b l e m f o r t h i s s a m p l e . I t was a f a c t o r i n d e a l i n g w i t h t h e i r c h i l d r e n , t h e i r h u s b a n d s , a n d t h e i r c a r e e r s . E x e r c i s e a n d t i m e away p r o v e d b e n e f i c i a l b u t d i d n o t e n t i r e l y s o l v e t h e p r o b l e m . A woman b e i n g o v e r t h i r t y i s s e e n as u n a v o i d a b l y l e s s e n e r g e t i c and more e a s i l y f a t i g u e d . F a m i l y Of t h e f o u r t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s who sp o k e a b o u t f a m i l y t i e s s i n c e t h e b i r t h o f t h e i r c h i l d ( r e n ) , n i n e r e p o r t e d i m p r o v e d r e l a t i o n s h i p s , and f i v e r e p o r t e d t h a t r e l a t i o n s h i p s w e re n o t as g o o d . I t a p p e a r s t h a t i t i s a c a s e o f c h i l d r e n a c c e n t i n g o r s t r e n g t h e n i n g f e e l i n g s a l r e a d y t h e r e b e c a u s e o f i n c r e a s e d c o n t a c t . One r e s p o n d e n t p u t i t v e r y s u c c i n c t l y : 80 Respondent 5 "My mother. . .she was supposed to stay 10 days when the baby came, she only stayed two...my mother had never stayed with us b e f o r e . . . they ( f a m i l y ) should never come at that stage." In the cases where they spoke of improved r e l a t i o n s h i p s , parents were seen as part of a support system for babys i t t ing for moral support, or whatever. The parents were talked about i n terms of " n o n - i n t e r f e r r i n g , " "non-meddl ing," and "very supportive." As one respondent put i t : Respondent 13 "We spend more time together, they've always been a wonderful couple, but not we do more together." There i s evidence a l so that parents act as r o l e models. In one c a s e , the mother and the m o t h e r - i n - l a w of the respondent both stayed at home with the ir small ch i ldren and encouraged the respondent to do l i k e w i s e . The second case, the mother of the respondent had had her c h i l d r e n l a t e and subsequently divorced. The respondent acknowledged that th i s had i n f l u e n c e d her d e c i s i o n to have c h i l d r e n l a t e . She a l so had contingency plans for a possible marriage breakdown. That 81 b o t h r e s p o n d e n t s w e r e i n f l u e n c e d by t h e i r p a r e n t s i s h i g h l i g h t e d i n t h e f o l l o w i n g : R e s p o n d e n t 1 "My h u s b a n d a n d I came f r o m f a m i l i e s w h e r e o u r m o t h e r s were home...my p a r e n t s a c t u a l l y s a i d we want you t o s t a y home. T h e y g a v e us a l l s o r t s o f s u p p o r t t o do s o . " R e s p o n d e n t 3 "My m o t h e r was 33 when s h e h a d h e r f i r s t c h i l d . . . m y m o t h e r s d i v o r c e d when I was 16.... I d o n ' t h a v e a l o t o f r o m a n t i c i d e a s a b o u t men.... I a l w a y s f e l t I c o u l d s u p p o r t m y s e l f i f I needed...my m o t h e r - t h e r e i s a k i n d o f s t r e n g t h t h e r e . " One o f t h e i n t e r e s t i n g p o i n t s r e g a r d i n g f a m i l y t i e s i s t h e p o s i t i o n o f some of t h e f u l l - t i m e w o r k i n g women. Two o f t h e f o u r women who went back t o work f u l l - t i m e f e l t t h a t t h e b e s t p e r s o n t o t a k e c a r e o f t h e i r y o u n g c h i l d was t h e i r m o t h e r ( t h e c h i l d ' s g r a n d m o t h e r ) . T h e y d i d n o t w a n t t o r e m a i n a t home b u t were r e l u c t a n t t o l e a v e t h e i r v e r y young c h i l d w i t h a h i r e d b a b y s i t t e r . One o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s ( t h e o l d e s t i n t h e s a m p l e ) 82 i n d i c a t e d t h a t h e r p a r e n t s w e r e v e r y o l d a n d n o t m u c h i n f l u e n c e i n t h e i r l i v e s . She s p o k e w i t h r e g r e t t h a t t h i s was t h e c a s e b u t r e a l i z e d i t was an o b v i o u s p o s s i b l e r e s u l t o f h e r w a i t i n g u n t i l l a t e r t o have c h i l d r e n . C h i l d r e n T h e m s e l v e s E i g h t o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e a b o u t t h e c h i l d r e n t h e m s e l v e s . F o u r o f them s p o k e i n t e r m s o f c o m p a r i s o n s , w here one c h i l d was s e e n a s e a s i e r t h a n t h e o t h e r s . T h e r e was no p a t t e r n as t o w h i c h c h i l d was more d i f f i c u l t - i n two c a s e s , i t was t h e f i r s t c h i l d ; i n one c a s e , t h e s e c o n d ( o f t w o ) ; a n d , i n t h e f o u r t h , t h e s e c o n d o f t h r e e . T h e r e i s a n o t e o f h e l p l e s s n e s s when t h e r e s p o n d e n t s s p e a k o f t h e d i f f i c u l t c h i l d . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : R e s p o n d e n t 3 "You d i d n ' t know w h a t was w r o n g w i t h h i m and when he w a s f i r s t h o m e , t h e r e w e r e d a y s w h e n he d i d n ' t s 1 e e p . . . h a r d 1 y a t a l l . . . 2 0 m i n u t e s h e r e a n d t h e r e . My d a u g h t e r i s so much e a s i e r . " R e s p o n d e n t 14 "E... was e a s i e r , s l e p t t h r o u g h t h e n i g h t . . . . B a b y 83 C... wakes up e v e r y n i g h t . I t ' s been v e r y d i f f i c u l t . " R e s p o n d e n t 4 "A... c r i e d a l l t h e t i m e , w i t h E... i t was s o much e a s i e r . I need s l e e p . " T h e r e i s a l s o a n o t e o f h e l p l e s s n e s s f r o m t h e women who have o n l y one c h i l d who i s d i f f i c u l t . R e s p o n d e n t 9 "Has i t b e e n g o o d - y e s a n d no. I h a d a c h i l d w i t h c o l i c . . . c r i e d n o n - s t o p f o r f o u r months. T h a t was enough t o g i v e you a n e r v o u s b r e a k d o w n . " R e s p o n d e n t 7 "She had a b r e a t h i n g p r o b l e m , as w e l l a s c o l i c . . . t h e f i r s t t h r e e months were v e r y s t r e s s f u l . " R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I d o n ' t know w h a t t h e e x p e r i e n c e w o u l d h a v e b e e n l i k e , i f I h a d a p e r f e c t c h i l d , t h a t c o o e d a l l d a y . A... was awake a l l day u n t i l 11 o ' c l o c k . " 84 The women c o p e w i t h t h i s by s e e i n g i t a s a t e m p o r a r y s i t u a t i o n . They a c k n o w l e d g e i t i s g e t t i n g b e t t e r a s t h e c h i l d g e t s o l d e r . One f e l t t h a t i t w o u l d h a v e b e e n e a s i e r i f t h e m e d i c a l p r o f e s s i o n a c k n o w l e d g e d t h a t t h e r e w e r e d i f f i c u l t c h i l d r e n and n o t i n d i c a t e d t h a t i t was a r e s u l t o f " u p - t i g h t " p a r e n t s . A n o t h e r woman f e l t t h a t s h e c o u l d o n l y t o l e r a t e i t i f s h e w e n t b a c k t o w o r k a n d l o o k e d f o r w a r d t o t h e c h i l d g o i n g t o s c h o o l . When t h e c h i l d was a p r o b l e m i t o f t e n r e f l e c t e d i n t h e m a r r i a g e . . T h r e e o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s i n d i c a t e d t h a t t h e c h i l d b e i n g d i f f i c u l t had added s t r e s s on t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p , t h a t i n t w o o f t h e c a s e s , d i v o r c e was c o n t e m p l a t e d b u t s o f a r a v o i d e d . Two r e s p o n d e d t h a t she and h e r h u s b a n d had " p u l l e d -t o g e t h e r " t o g e t t h r o u g h t h e d i f f i c u l t t i m e . R e s p o n d e n t 3 "...my h u s b a n d t h o u g h t i t was t h e way I was h a n d l i n g h i m . " R e s p o n d e n t 15 " I c o u l d n ' t h a v e m a n a g e d w i t h my h u s b a n d . B... c r i e d 20 h o u r s o u t o f 24. My h u s b a n d came home e a r l y a n d l e f t l a t e so he c o u l d h o l d h i m w h i l e I s l e p t . " 85 I n summary, t h i s s a m p l e i n d i c a t e s v e r y c l e a r l y t h a t n o t a l l c h i l d r e n a r e t h e same. C h i l d r e n f r o m t h e same p a r e n t s c a n be " v e r y e a s y " o r " v e r y d i f f i c u l t . " A d i f f i c u l t c h i l d e f f e c t s t h e woman's p e r c e p t i o n o f h e r s e l f i n t e r m s o f h e r a b i l i t y t o c o p e . A d i f f i c u l t c h i l d a f f e c t s t h e m a r i t a l r e l a t i o n s h i p , e i t h e r p o s i t i v e l y o r a d v e r s e l y , d e p e n d i n g on w h e t h e r t h e c h i l d i s a s h a r e d p r o b l e m o r o n e o f t h e m o t h e r ' s m a k i n g . O u t s i d e H e l p A l l f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s h a d some s o r t o f p a i d o u t s i d e h e l p t h a t t h e y f e l t was e s s e n t i a l . T h i s r a n g e d f r o m f u l l - t i m e day c a r e t o r e l i e f h e l p f o r a few h o u r s a week. They s p o k e i n g l o w i n g t e r m s a b o u t t h e " j o y o f a f e w m o m e n t s t o g e t t h i n g s d one." The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : R e s p o n d e n t 1 " I have a woman one day f r o m 9 t o 3. She t a k e s c a r e o f c h i l d r e n 2 t o 3 y e a r s . We ( f r i e n d s ) f o u n d o u t a b o u t h e r t h r o u g h a f r i e n d , t h r e e o f us t a k e o u t k i d s t h e r e f o r t h e d ay. T h a t way, i t ' s n o t t o o e x p e n s i v e . " R e s p o n d e n t 2 "She came t o h e l p me when I was p r e g n a n t w i t h my s e c o n d c h i l d a n d j u s t s t a y e d . . . . I f i g u r e i t t a k e s t h r e e 8 6 t o do l o o k a f t e r e v e r y t h i n g 2 c h i l d r e n , one f o r e l s e . " e a c h c h i l d a n d one t o R e s p o n d e n t 6 " I t a k e h e r t o a p l a y g r o u p t w o m o r n i n g s a week, t h a t way I d o n ' t h a v e t h e p r e s s u r e o f k i d s a r o u n d me a l l day l o n g . " R e s p o n d e n t 13 " I p u t an ad i n t h e p a p e r . I d r o p t h e k i d s o f f e v e r y F r i d a y m o r n i n g and do what I want t o do." R e s p o n d e n t 14 " I u s e a d a y - c a r e c o - o p t h a t I'm v e r y p l e a s e d t o h a v e . I t g i v e s me a h e a l t h i e r p e r s p e c t i v e . " P r o b l e m s a r o s e when t h e h e l p needed t o be f u l l - t i m e o v e r an e x t e n d e d p e r i o d o f t i m e . One r e s p o n d e n t s p o k e o f t h e day c a r e p r o b l e m s . A n o t h e r s p o k e o f t h e p r o b l e m g e t t i n g someone t o come i n t o h e r home r e g u l a r l y . R e s p o n d e n t 8 "The d a y c a r e s a r e t e r r i b l e a n d we've t r i e d 87 q u i t e a f e w . " R e s p o n d e n t 12 " I ' v e h a d i n c r e d i b l e d i f f i c u l t i e s g e t t i n g somebody t o come i n a n d I d o n ' t w a n t t o l e a v e h e r w i t h j u s t a n y b o d y . " The women e x p e r i e n c i n g t h e s e p r o b l e m s c o p e d by r e s i g n i n g t h e m s e l v e s t o p o o r day c a r e . Where r e g u l a r h e l p was w a n t e d i n t h e home on a d a i l y b a s i s , t h e r e s p o n d e n t was c o n t e m p l a t i n g a l i v e - i n n a nny. I n summary, t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e o b v i o u s l y i n an i n c o m e b r a c k e t t o e a s i l y a f f o r d t h e o u t s i d e h e l p t h a t t h e y s e e a s e s s e n t i a l . H e r e a g a i n , t h e i r p l a n n i n g i n d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d t o b e c o m e f i n a n c i a l l y s e c u r e h a s b e n e f i t e d t h e m . The p r o b l e m , when t h e r e i s o n e , i s n o t i n o b t a i n i n g o u t s i d e h e l p b u t i n o b t a i n i n g "good" o u t s i d e h e l p . B o t h R e s p o n d e n t ' s 8 a n d 12 f o u n d i t d i f f i c u l t t o o b t a i n s a t i s f a c t o r y c a r e f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n . E d u c a t i o n F i v e o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e o f how much e f f o r t t h e y p u t i n t o t h e i r c h i l d r e n i n t e r m s o f e d u c a t i o n . They r e a d a l l t h e b o o k s a n d e n d e a v o u r e d t o g i v e t h e i r - c h i l d r e n w h a t t h e b o o k s 88 p e r s c r i b e d . T h e y w e r e c o n s c i o u s o f b e i n g " r o l e t h e i r y o u n g s t e r s a n d w e r e t r y i n g t o e n c o u r a g e m o t i v a t e d c h i l d r e n . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : m o d e l s " f o r s u c c e s s f u l , R e s p o n d e n t 7 " I w a n t my d a u g h t e r t o s e e me s t u d y i n g , I t h i n k t h a t ' s i m p o r t a n t . I want t o be a good r o l e m o d e l . " R e s p o n d e n t 12 " I ' v e r e a d a l l t h e b o o k s . I buy a l l t h e r i g h t t o y s , t h e room i s done j u s t r i g h t . " R e s p o n d e n t 13 " I h a v e r e a d i t a f f e c t s t h e m d o w n t h e l i n e i n d e v e l o p i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s , l a s t i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s , he knows h i s f a t h e r and I a r e t h e p r i m e c a r e t a k e r s i n h i s l i f e . " R e s p o n d e n t 11 " I f s h e g e t s i n t o h i g h s c h o o l a n d s a y i s n ' t p a r t i c u l a r l y b r i g h t , good a t t i m e s , t h a t ' s g o i n g t o have a s t r o n g e f f e c t on me.... I'm t r y i n g s o h a r d . . . t h e o t h e r n i g h t I was up t h e e n t i r e n i g h t b e c a u s e she was g o i n g on a f i e l d t r i p w i t h h e r c l a s s . I d i d n ' t w a n t a n y t h i n g t o 89 h a p p e n t o he r . . . . I won't go s h o p p i n g w i t h h e r on F r i d a y n i g h t s b e c a u s e I know t h a t t h e r e a r e t o o many d r u n k s on t h e r o a d t h a t n i g h t . " T h e r e was no s p e c i f i c p r o b l e m i n t h i s a r e a t h a t t h e women t a l k e d a b o u t . C o n t r o l S e v e n o f t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s s p o k e a b o u t a f e e l i n g o f l o s s o f c o n t r o l . F o r women u s e d t o g e t t i n g t h i n g s d o n e , o f c o n t r o l l i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n , t h e r e was a c k n o w l e d g m e n t t h a t one c o u l d n o t a l w a y s c o n t r o l t h e v a r i a b l e s w i t h c h i l d r e n . C o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s i n v o l v e d e x e r c i s e , l a u g h t e r , and g e t t i n g away f o r a w h i l e . The f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t t h i s : R e s p o n d e n t 3 " I ' v e l e a r n e d t o l a u g h a l o t . . . l i k e I t h o u g h t i f y o u do t h e p e r s c r i b e d t h i n g , l o v i n g a n d u n d e r s t a n d i n g my c h i l d w o u l d be l i k e t h i s . . . w e l l , he i s n ' t . . . h e i s a s d i f f i c u l t as any c h i l d . So many o f us who have c h i l d r e n l a t e i n l i f e , I t h i n k , h a v e b e e n u s e d t o h a v i n g o r t h i n k i n g we had c o n t r o l o v e r o u r l i v e s . " 90 R e s p o n d e n t 4 " I had two g o r g e o u s b a b i e s , b u t I j u s t c o u l d n ' t s t o p t h e w a t e r w o r k s when t h e y w e r e f i r s t born.... When I go t o e x e r c i s e c l a s s , I f e e l m o r e i n c o n t r o l . . . . I l i t e r a l l y g e t n o t h i n g done s o m e d a y s , e x c e p t t h e l a u n d r y and t i d y i n g up t h e h o u s e . " R e s p o n d e n t 11 "My c h i l d was i n c o n t r o l on o u r h o l i d a y s . " R e s p o n d e n t 5 "My l i f e i s r u n by t i m e . . . . I h a v e t o be a t w o r k a t a c e r t a i n t i m e , I h a v e t o p i c k h e r up f r o m b a b y s i t t i n g a t a c e r t a i n t i m e . . . y e t , t h e r e a r e d a y s I f e e l t o t a l l y u n o r g a n i z e d . " R e s p o n d e n t 6 "My b i g g e s t p r o b l e m i s i t i m p e d e s my a b i l i t y t o g e t a r o u n d . . . a 1 w a y s g o i n g a t h e r pace.... I f i n a l l y r e a c h e d my f r u s t r a t i o n p o i n t - p i c k e d h e r up y e s t e r d a y . I c o u l d n ' t s t a n d e x a m i n i n g b a r n a c l e s a n ymore." 91 R e s p o n d e n t 9 " I t i s r e a l l y q u i t e d e v a s t a t i n g . . . i f I w a n t t o go o u t t o e x e r c i s e c l a s s , I was u s e d t o j u s t g o i n g . . . . I h a d a l o t o f t h i n g s I was d o i n g a n d a l l o f a s u d d e n , t h e y j u s t s t o p p e d . I f o u n d i t t o o e x h a u s t i n g t o g e t h e r g o i n g t o o . " I n s u m m a r y , t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e saw one o f t h e i r p r o b l e m s b e i n g l a c k o f c o n t r o l o v e r t h e i r t i m e and a c t i v i t i e s . They f o u n d i t a p r o b l e m t o a l w a y s c o n t e n d w i t h t h e demands o f t h e i r y o u n g s t e r s . R o l e s A l t h o u g h i t h a s b e e n m e n t i o n e d u n d e r t h e s e c t i o n " H u s b a n d " i t i s w o r t h h a v i n g t h i s s e c t i o n on " R o l e s " b e c a u s e many o f t h e women s p o k e o f t h e i r r o l e s i n t e r m s o f s o c i e t y ' s g e n e r a l e x p e c t a t i o n s as w e l l as t h e i r own and t h e i r husband's r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s . S i n c e a l l t h e women w e r e f u l l - t i m e e m p l o y e e s b e f o r e t h e y h a d c h i l d r e n , t h e r e a p p e a r s t o be many c a s e s w h e r e t h e y e x p e c t e d t h i n g s t o r e m a i n " e q u a l " a t home. Many e x p r e s s e d s u r p r i s e a n d c o n c e r n t h a t when t h e c h i l d c a me, t h e i r r o l e s w e r e a u t o m a t i c a l l y c h a n g e d - e v e n i f t h e y c o n t i n u e d t o w o r k f u l l - t i m e . F o r e x a m p l e : 92 R e s p o n d e n t 7 "Our r o l e s h a v e c h a n g e d - n o t q u i t e a s e q u a l a s i t was.... I'm r e s p o n s i b l e f o r most o f t h e baby c a r e . " R e s p o n d e n t 5 "You a r e a w i f e , f u l l - t i m e e m p l o y e e , and a m o t h e r -s o m e t h i n g has t o s u f f e r . " R e s p o n d e n t 12 "When a c h i l d comes a l o n g , t h e y e x p e c t t h e woman t o c h a n g e . . . . I w a s n ' t g o i n g t o h a v e a s e c o n d - h a n d i d e n t i t y . " P r o b l e m s w i t h r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w e r e l e s s e v i d e n t f o r women who r e m a i n e d a t home f u l l - t i m e , and even h e r e , t h e r e was f r u s t r a t i o n e x p r e s s e d : R e s p o n d e n t 15 "Why s h o u l d i t be my r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o be up a t 2 i n t h e m o r n i n g , I ' v e p u t i n a f u l l day t o o , w i t h t h e k i d s . " I t i s e v i d e n t i n t h i s s a m p l e t h a t t h e r e i s f r u s t r a t i o n t h a t t h e r o l e o f m o t h e r i s s e e n a s c h i e f c h i l d c a r e t a k e r a n d 93 t h a t t h i s j o b i s a 24 h o u r o ne. One o f t h e c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s was t o g e t r i d o f t h e r o l e s t h a t n e i t h e r v a l u e d , f o r e x a m p l e , h o u s e w o r k , t o a l l o w f o r more t i m e . R e s p o n d e n t 3 "I'm a g o o d m o t h e r , b u t n o t a g o o d h o m e m a k e r , s o I g e t i n h e l p and work t o pay f o r i t . " R e s p o n d e n t 5 "We j u s t d o n ' t do w h a t we b o t h d o n ' t v a l u e , h o u s e w o r k . We pay someone t o do i t . " The e v i d e n c e o f t h i s s a m p l e does n o t s u p p o r t t h e c o n c e p t t h a t t h e r o l e s o f m o t h e r a n d f a t h e r h a v e c h a n g e d . They- may be " c h a n g i n g " b u t t h e r e i s s t i l l , i n t h i s s a m p l e a t l e a s t , p r e d o m i n a n t l y t r a d i t i o n a l c o n c e p t s o f r o l e s . The woman i s s t i l l s e e n as t h e c h i e f c a r e t a k e r . A d v i c e T h i s l a s t s e c t i o n i s one o f t h e m o s t r e v e a l i n g o f t h i s e n t i r e r e s e a r c h . P r o b a b l y b e c a u s e t h e women f e l t t h e y w e r e n ' t s p e a k i n g d i r e c t l y a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s , t h e y g a v e some v e r y i n s i g h t f u l a d v i c e t o o t h e r women who a r e c o n s i d e r i n g h a v i n g 94 c h i l d r e n a f t e r t h i r t y . Of t h e f i f t e e n r e s p o n d e n t s , t w e l v e s a i d t h e y w o u l d w a i t u n t i l t h i r t y o r o l d e r i f t h e y h a d t o do i t o v e r g a i n . Of t h e t h r e e who w o u l d have s t a r t e d e a r l i e r , two w o u l d have done so i n o r d e r t o h a v e m o r e c h i l d r e n . T h e y f e l t t h e i r e n e r g y was n o t s u f f i c i e n t , n o r was t h e r e enough t i m e b e f o r e f o r t y t o have as many c h i l d r e n as t h e y w a n t e d . One o f t h e s e r e s p o n d e n t s had t w o c h i l d r e n a l r e a d y a n d t h e o t h e r h a d t h r e e . The t h i r d r e s p o n d e n t who w o u l d have s t a r t e d e a r l i e r i s t h e woman who had a g r e a t d e a l o f t r o u b l e c o n c e i v i n g . S i n c e n e a r l y 2 0 % o f t h e p o p u l a t i o n h a s d i f f i c u l t y c o n c e i v i n g , a n d t h i s f i g u r e i n c r e a s e s w i t h a g e , h e r v i e w p o i n t i s r e l e v a n t t o many women. The o v e r w h e l m i n g f e e l i n g f r o m r e a d i n g t h e a d v i c e i s t h a t t h e women f e l t t h a t c h i l d r e n made an e n o r m o u s d i f f e r e n c e i n t h e i r l i v e s a n d t h e c h a n g e was one t h a t a p e r s o n s h o u l d be f u l l y p r e p a r e d f o r . T h e r e w e r e a l s o p r e c a u t i o n s c o n c e r n i n g f i n a n c e s , r o l e s , and c o n f l i c t i n g f e e l i n g s . E a c h r e s p o n d e n t ' s a d v i c e i s w o r t h n o t i n g : R e s p o n d e n t 1 "Make s u r e y o u a r e v e r y o r g a n i z e d i n y o u r own m i n d b e c a u s e a n y p r o b l e m s y o u do h a v e , I t h i n k , a r e g o i n g t o g e t w o r s e . " 9 5 Respondent 2 "I have t h i s h o r r i b l e f e e l i n g th ings are not going to work out the way you p l a n . I t can be an awful shock to f ind you can't have ch i ldren when you are th ir ty . . . you are very resent fu l of a l l the precautions you took." Respondent 3 "I can't g ive adv ice - a l l my t h e o r i e s are down the d r a i n . " Respondent 4 "Take a year o f f and have fun, get i t out of your system before you have k i d s . . . d o n ' t o v e r - e s t i m a t e your p h y s i c a l a b i1 i t i e s . . . d i s c u s s with your husband what he t h i n k s h i s r o l e i s . I t i s n ' t d i scussed and assumptions are made on both s ides , quite d i f f erent assumptions." Respondent 5 "Be i n r e a l l y good shape..make sure you know what your p r i o r i t i e s are . Make time for y o u r s e l f , make time wi th your husband...make sure k ids are what you r e a l l y want, so that you can accept the th ings you have to give 96 up because of them." Respondent 6 "You don't know what you are g e t t i n g i n t o u n t i l you've done i t . I t r e q u i r e s a l o t of s a c r i f i c e . . . b e home w i t h them when they are younger to s h a r e t h e i r experiences. Respondent 7 "Do i t . . . . I wouldn't have missed t h i s exper ience for the wor ld . It changes your l i f e , but i t ' s a good change." Respondent 8 "Be a w f u l l y damn sure you want to have k i d s , you do kids no favour i f you don't r e a l l y want them." Respondent 9 "You should know what you want and not worry about o t h e r s , i f you want to go to work, you should and you shouldn't worry about people who f i g u r e you should stay at home." 97 R e s p o n d e n t 10 "Don't e x p e c t t o be "Super-Mom." Women e x p e c t a l o t o f t h e m s e l v e s . I t ' s t o t a l l y u n r e a l i s t i c t o j u s t h a v e a b a b y a n d t u r n a r o u n d a n d h a v e t h e h o u s e l o o k i n g g l a m o r o u s . . . . T h e r e i s t h e e x p e c t a t i o n t h a t y o u h a v e t h e r i g h t c e r e a l when he comes home f r o m a bad day a t s c h o o l o r t h e h o c k e y game, a n d y o u a r e t h e r e w i t h t h e h o t c h o c o l a t e a n d a s k how d i d y o u do a n d y o u a r e t h i s t o a l l f a m i l y m e m b e r s . And on t o p o f t h i s , y o u l o o k s t u n n i n g . A l o t o f i t i s c o m i n g t h r o u g h t h e m e d i a , b u t we a r e b u y i n g i t . " I n s u m m a r y , t h e women i n t h i s g r o u p , a l t h o u g h t h e y a r e a w a r e o f a l l t h e b e n e f i t s o f w a i t i n g u n t i l 30 t o h a v e c h i l d r e n , c a u t i o n o t h e r s t o r e a l i z e t h a t h a v i n g c h i l d r e n i s a g r e a t d e a l o f w o r k . T h e y i n d i c a t e t h e r e may be p r e s s u r e s t o w o r k o r p r e s s u r e s t o s t a y home. F o r t h o s e t h a t c h o o s e t o work, t h e r e w i l l be g u i l t f e e l i n g s a b o u t l e a v i n g y o u r c h i l d . They s u g g e s t t h a t one s h o u l d be as r e a d y as p o s s i b l e f o r t h e c h a n g e , do a s many t h i n g s a s p o s s i b l e b e f o r e t h e c h i l d c o m e s so t h e c h i l d i s n o t r e s e n t e d . T h e r e i s an i n d i c a t i o n t h a t t h e r e w i l l be p r e s s u r e t o be "Super-Mom" and n o t t o f a l l v i c t i m t o t h i s p o p u l a r i z e d n o t i o n . T h e f o l l o w i n g c h a p t e r d i s c u s s e s t h e r e s u l t s o f t h e s e s e p a r a t e t o p i c s and draws i m p l i c a t i o n s f r o m them. 98 CHAPTER F I V E C o n c l u s i o n s D i s c u s s i o n o f R e s u l t s The f o l l o w i n g p a g e s p r e s e n t t h e r e s u l t s o f t h e s t u d y and a d i s c u s s i o n o f e a c h . 1. T h e d e c i s i o n t o d e l a y p a r e n t h o o d u n t i l 30 w a s p l a n n e d a n d w e l l t h o u g h t o u t by m o s t o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e . F o r 8 0 % o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e t h e d e c i s i o n t o d e l a y p a r e n t h o o d was t h o r o u g h l y p l a n n e d . T h i s s u p p o r t s W i l k i e ' s r e s e a r c h (1983) when he f o u n d o l d e r m o t h e r s d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d a s a r e s u l t o f p l a n n i n g f o r p e r s o n a l f r e e d o m a n d p e r s o n a l d e v e l o p m e n t , t o e n s u r e a s t a b l e m a r r i a g e and t o be f i n a n c i a l l y s e c u r e . The t o n e o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s , when t h e y d i s c u s s e d t h e i r r e a s o n s f o r d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d , i n d i c a t e s a g r e a t d e a l o f c o n t r o l a n d t h o u g h t . T h e r e i s a s e n s e o f s t e p - b y - s t e p p l a n n i n g . T h i s o r d e r l y a p p r o a c h t o t h e s i t u a t i o n may be r e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h e women t a k i n g an a n a l y t i c a l a p p r o a c h t o t h e p r o b l e m s t h e y e n c o u n t e r i n t h e i r m o t h e r h o o d r o l e s . I t may a l s o r e p r e s e n t an i n d i c a t i o n o f i n f l e x i b i l i t y w h i c h may l e a d t o p r o b l e m s l a t e r one. They have been a b l e t o programme t h e i r 99 l i v e s up t o t h i s p o i n t a n d a r e t h e r e f o r e " i n c o n t r o l . " T h e r e may be p r o b l e m s l a t e r on i f t h e y a r e n o t a b l e t o c o n t i n u e p r o g r a m m i n g f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n . They have o b v i o u s l y t r i e d t o p l a n f o r a l l c o n t i g e n c i e s a n d i n t h a t t h e y may be o p e n f o r g r e a t e r d i s a p p o i n t m e n t s . 2. F i n d i n g t i m e a l o n e w i t h one's h u s b a n d was a p r o b l e m f o r t h e s e women. C o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s f o r t h i s p r o b l e m i n c l u d e d s i m p l y a c c e p t i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n a s u n a v o i d a b l e o r t a k i n g s t e p s t o c o r r e c t i t t h r o u g h h i r i n g o u t s i d e h e l p . The women i n t h i s s a m p l e f o u n d t h a t h a v i n g t i m e a l o n e w i t h t h e i r h u s b a n d s was d i f f i c u l t . When m e a s u r e s were t a k e n t o f i n d " t o g e t h e r t i m e " t h e m a r r i a g e s seemed t o be b e t t e r and t h e w i f e saw t h e h u s b a n d as s u p p o r t i v e and u n d e r s t a n d i n g . The r e v e r s e o c c u r r e d when t i m e a l o n e was d e s i r e d b u t n o t f o u n d . I t may be t h a t i n n o t f i n d i n g t h e t i m e w i t h t h e i r h u s b a n d s t h e women were u n a b l e t o c o m m u n i c a t e t h e i r t h o u g h t s and f e e l i n g s . A g r o w i n g s e n s e o f a l i e n a t i o n may o c c u r w h i c h may be d i f f i c u l t t o r e v e r s e . I t w o u l d seem t h a t s i n c e t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e i n a h i g h e r e c o n o m i c b r a c k e t , o b t a i n i n g b a b y s i t t e r s s h o u l d n o t be a p r o b l e m . I t w o u l d s e e m , r a t h e r , t h a t t h e women who d i d n o t g e t o u t s i d e h e l p i n o r d e r t o h a v e t i m e a l o n e w i t h t h e i r h u s b a n d s d i d n o t p e r c e i v e t h e s i g n i f i c a n c e o f t h i s t i m e . 1 0 0 3. F o r many w o m e n i n ' t h i s s a m p l e , t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w e r e q u i t e d i f f e r e n t f r o m t h e i r h u s b a n d s . C o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s f o r t h i s p r o b l e m i n c l u d e d , r e s i g n a t i o n , i s s u i n g u l t i m a t u m s , a n d s e e k i n g p r o f e s s i o n a l c o u n s e l l i n g . E i g h t o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e f e l t t h e i r r o l e , a s s e e n by t h e i r h u s b a n d , was t h a t o f c h i e f c h i l d c a r e t a k e r . T h i s was a g a i n s t t h e i r w i s h e s . The e v i d e n c e o f t h e s e e i g h t w o m e n s u p p o r t s S w a r t z ' s r e s e a r c h ( 1 9 8 0 ) t h a t i n d i c a t e s " t r a d i t i o n a l f a c t o r s " a r e r e s i l i e n t t o c h a n g e . T h e s e women ha d a l l w o r k e d f u l l - t i m e o u t s i d e t h e home f o r a n u m b e r o f y e a r s a n d h a d w h a t t h e y saw a s e q u a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s . H o w e v e r , w h e n t h e f i r s t c h i l d c a m e a l o n g , t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s were q u i t e d i f f e r e n t f r o m t h e i r h u s b a n d s . O l d e r m o t h e r s a p p e a r t o h a v e f a l s e e x p e c t a t i o n s o f r o l e s b a s e d on t h e i r c h i l d l e s s y e a r s w i t h t h e i r h u s b a n d s . 4. T h e r e i s a f e e l i n g o f p o w e r l e s s n e s s f o r t h e s e women i f t h e y do n o t h a v e s o m e c o n t r o l o v e r f a m i l y f i n a n c e s . C o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s f o r t h i s p r o b l e m i n c l u d e , c o n t i n u i n g t o w o r k e i t h e r f u l l - o r p a r t -t i m e , h a v i n g t h e h u s b a n d s l i p t h e w i f e " s o m e t h i n g e x t r a " o r b o t h p a r t n e r s r e c o g n i z i n g t h e woman's c o n t r i b u t i o n a t home and m a k i n g e q u a l a c c e s s t o t h e f i n a n c e s . 101 A l l t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e n e e d e d t o f e e l i n some way t h a t t h e y h a d c o n t r o l o v e r p a r t o f t h e money i n t h e f a m i l y . I t may be t h a t a f t e r h a v i n g t h e i r own s o u r c e o f i n c o m e f o r so l o n g t h a t t h i s i s p a r t i c u l a r l y n e c e s s a r y . O l d e r m o t h e r s a r e a c c u s t o m e d t o h a v i n g t h e i r own s o u r c e o f i n c o m e p r i o r t o t h e b i r t h o f t h e c h i l d and f i n d i t d i f f i c u l t t o become d e p e n d e n t . 5. T h e s e l f - c o n c e p t o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e i m p r o v e d a f t e r h a v i n g c h i l d r e n . They e x p e r i e n c e d a t e m p o r a r y f e e l i n g o f d e c r e a s e d p h y s i c a l a t t r a c t i v e n e s s b u t were c o p i n g w i t h t h i s p r i m a r i l y t h r o u g h e x e r c i s e . T h i s r e s u l t c o n t r a d i c t s t h e r e s e a r c h e r ' s a s s u m p t i o n t h a t o l d e r m o t h e r s u n d e r g o a r a d i c a l n e g a t i v e a l t e r a t i o n o f s e l f -c o n c e p t . The women i n t h i s s a m p l e f e l t c h a l l e n g e d by t h e i r new r o l e a s a m o t h e r . The o n l y woman who d i d n o t f e e l an i m p r o v e m e n t i n h e r s e l f - c o n c e p t d i d n o t ^ p r i m a r i l y b e c a u s e h e r h u s b a n d no l o n g e r f o u n d h e r a t t r a c t i v e . I t w o u l d seem t h a t as l o n g a s s i g n i f i c a n t o t h e r s d o n ' t i n d i c a t e t h a t a woman i s no l o n g e r p h y s i c a l l y a t t r a c t i v e , o l d e r m o t h e r s a r e c o n t e n t w i t h t h e i r s e l f - c o n c e p t . 6. S u p p o r t g r o u p s a r e e x t r e m e l y i m p o r t a n t t o t h e s e m o t h e r s . To be t r u l y a f f e c t i v e , a woman m u s t h a v e a c c e s s t o a s u p p o r t g r o u p on a r e g u l a r b a s i s . Women i n t h i s s a m p l e , who met r e g u l a r l y w i t h a s u p p o r t 102 g r o u p , h a d a m o r e p o s i t i v e o u t l o o k on t h e i r m o t h e r h o o d r o l e t h a n d i d t h o s e who h a d l i t t l e o r no r e g u l a r s u p p o r t s y s t e m . T h i s r e s u l t s u p p o r t s Lee's r e s e a r c h ( 1 9 8 3 ) . He i n d i c a t e d t h a t women who do n o t h a v e a s u p p o r t s y s t e m , who b e c o m e s o c i a l i s o l a t e s , h a v e a d i f f i c u l t t i m e a d j u s t i n g t o t h e i r r o l e s a s m o t h e r s . 7. Women i n t h i s s a m p l e who e i t h e r b e c a m e f u l l - t i m e homemakers o r p a r t - t i m e e m p l o y e e s o u t s i d e t h e home w e r e c o n t e n t . T h o s e women who w e r e w o r k i n g f u l l -t i m e f o u n d i t d i f f i c u l t t o c o p e w i t h a l l t h e i r r o l e s . T h a t t h e homemakers i n t h i s g r o u p w ere c o n t e n t w i t h t h e i r r o l e i s i n a g r e e m e n t w i t h W r i g h t ( 1 9 7 8 ) a n d i n d i s a g r e e m e n t w i t h F e r r e e ( 1 9 7 6 ) . A l l t h e women who c h o s e t o s t a y home f u l l - t i m e f e l t t h e y w o u l d r e t u r n , a t some l a t e r d a t e , t o t h e w o r k f o r c e . T h i s f a c t i s i n t e r e s t i n g i n v i e w o f S o r e n s e n ' s r e s e a r c h ( 1 9 8 3 ) . He i n d i c a t e s t h a t o l d e r women who l e a v e t h e j o b m a r k e t do n o t u s u a l l y r e t u r n . I f t h e s e o l d e r m o t h e r s i n d e e d do n o t r e t u r n t o o u t s i d e e m p l o y m e n t , t h e i r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s i n t h e s i t u a t i o n w o u l d be o f i n t e r e s t . F o r now, t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e m o r e c o n t e n t i n t h e i r d e c i s i o n t o s t a y a t home f e e l i n g t h e y w i l l r e t u r n t o t h e i r c a r e e r s l a t e r . I f t h e s e e x p e c t a t i o n s a r e n o t met, t h e y may f i n d p r o b l e m s i n a c c e p t i n g 103 t h e i r f u l l - t i m e m o t h e r h o o d r o l e . F o r t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e who h a v e c h o s e n t o w o r k f u l l - t i m e , t h e r e i s i n d i c a t i o n t h a t t h e y a r e s i m i l a r t o t h e women L e i b e r ( 1 9 8 0 ) s t u d i e d . T h e y a r e u n a b l e t o f i l l a l l t h e i r r o l e s w e l l a n d a r e o f t e n h a r a s s e d , d i s c o n t e n t , a n d g u i l t - r i d d e n . 8. H a v i n g a f i r s t c h i l d a f t e r 30 h a s r e s t r i c t e d t h e n u m b e r o f c h i l d r e n t h a t t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e w i l l h a v e . S e v e r a l o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e w o u l d l i k e t o h a v e h a d m o r e c h i l d r e n b u t f e l t t h e y w e r e t o o o l d o r t h a t t h e y c o u l d a d e q u a t e l y m e e t t h e n e e d s o f o n l y one o r t w o c h i l d r e n . T h i s s u p p o r t s t h e r e s e a r c h o f Bumpass who r e p o r t s t h a t o l d e r m o t h e r s have f e w e r c h i l d r e n . 9. C h i l d r e n o f p r e v i o u s m a r r i a g e s w e r e a s o u r c e o f i r r i t a t i o n i n t h i s s a m p l e . No c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s were o f f e r e d . 10. I n t h i s s a m p l e , t h e women, by d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d , have h e l p e d p u t t h e m s e l v e s i n an e c o n o m i c s i t u a t i o n t h a t a l l e v i a t e d t h e f i n a n c i a l p r o b l e m s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h c h i l d r e a r i n g . One o f t h e r e a s o n s t h a t t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e l i s t e d a s a r e a s o n f o r d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d was t o g a i n g r e a t e r 104 f i n a n c i a l s u c c e e d e d a r e a . s e c u r i t y . I t would a p p e a r t h a t i n r e d u c i n g o r e l i m i n a t i n g one t h e i r p l a n n i n g has p o t e n t i a l p r o b l e m 11. T he women i n t h i s s a m p l e f o u n d a l a c k o f e n e r g y t o be a p r o b l e m f o r them. T h e i r c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s were t o e x e r c i s e and " g e t away f o r w h i l e " f r o m t h e i r r o l e s as m o t h e r s . I t a p p e a r s t h a t a l a c k o f e n e r g y a n d f a t i g u e w e r e u n a v o i d a b l e t o t h e women i n t h i s sample. They spoke o f i t as one o f t h e m a j o r d i f f e r e n c e s t h e y saw i n y o u n g v e r s u s o l d e r m o t h e r s . T h e y w e r e a b l e , h o w e v e r , t o c o u n t e r t h i s w i t h e x e r c i s e and t i m e away. I t may be t h a t t h e i r h i g h e r e c o n o m i c s i t u a t i o n makes t h e s e s t r a t e g i e s e a s i l y a v a i l a b l e t o them. 12. D i f f i c u l t c h i l d r e n i m p a c t e d on t h e m a r r i a g e s i n t h i s s ample, e i t h e r p o s i t i v e l y or n e g a t i v e l y , d e p e n d i n g on whether t h e c h i l d was a s h a r e d p r o b l e m or one o f t h e mothers making. Many women spoke of one c h i l d b e i n g more d i f f i c u l t t h a n a n o t h e r . When t h e i r husband was s u p p o r t i v e and j o i n t l y s o u g h t t o d e a l w i t h t h e c h i l d , t h e m a r r i a g e d i d n o t s u f f e r and i n some c a s e s a c t u a l l y seemed t o i m p r o v e . 13. Women i n t h i s s a m p l e made u s e o f o u t s i d e h e l p e x t e n s i v e l y . P r o b l e m s a r o s e when t h e o u t s i d e h e l p 105 needed t o be f u l l - t i m e . The one c o p i n g s t r a t e g y f o r t h i s was r e s i g n a t i o n . Women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e i n an e c o n o m i c b r a c k e t t o r e a d i l y a f f o r d h i r i n g o u t s i d e h e l p . H o w e v e r , t w o o f t h e r e s p o n d e n t s f o u n d i t d i f f i c u l t t o o b t a i n s a t i s f a c t o r y f u l l -t i m e h e l p . I n t h e s e c a s e s , i t may be B e h r m a n ' s r e s e a r c h ( 1 9 8 0 ) i s a p p l i c a b l e . She i n d i c a t e s t h a t a woman's c h o i c e t o w o r k o u t s i d e t h e home f o r m o n e t a r y r e a s o n s m u s t be s e e n i n t e r m s o f h e r e x p e c t a t i o n s o f s t a n d a r d o f l i v i n g , h e r b e l i e f a b o u t h e r c h i l d ' s n e e d , a n d t h e d e g r e e o f s a c r i f i c e s h e i s w i l l i n g t o make. N e i t h e r o f t h e two women i n t h i s s a m p l e were w i l l i n g t o make a l t e r a t i o n s i n t h e i r own l i f e s t y l e t o p r o v i d e d i f f e r e n t and p e r h a p s b e t t e r day c a r e f o r t h e i r c h i l d . 1A. The women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e d e e p l y c o n c e r n e d a b o u t d o i n g a l l t h e " r i g h t t h i n g s " f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n . Many o f t h e women d u r i n g t h e i n t e r v i e w s i n d i c a t e d t h a t t h e y w e r e r e a d i n g t h e r i g h t b o o k s f o r c h i l d r e a r i n g , b u y i n g t h e r i g h t t o y s , a n d p r o v i d i n g g o o d r o l e m o d e l s . I t may be t h a t t h e s e women a r e h i g h a c h i e v e r s t r y i n g v e r y h a r d w i t h t h e i r c h i l d r e n . What h a p p e n s i f t h e i r c h i l d r e n do n o t t u r n o u t w e l l ? A f t e r p u t t i n g s o much e f f o r t t o w a r d s p a r e n t i n g , what ha p p e n s i f t h e r e s u l t s a r e p o o r ? T h i s may po s e a p r o b l e m f o r t h e s e women l a t e r . 106 15. A l a c k o f c o n t r o l o f t i m e a n d a c t i v i t i e s was a p r o b l e m f o r t h e s e women. C o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s i n v o l v e d e x e r c i s e , l a u g h t e r , and " g e t t i n g away" f o r a w h i l e . I t i s p o s s i b l e t h a t o l d e r m o t h e r s f i n d t h i s a s p e c t o f p a r e n t i n g p a r t i c u l a r l y d i f f i c u l t b e c a u s e t h e y h a v e b e e n a c c u s t o m e d t o c o n t r o l l i n g e v e n t s a n d b e i n g r e s p o n s i b l e f o r o n l y t h e m s e l v e s f o r many y e a r s . T h e y may be i n f l e x i b l e t o a d j u s t i n g f o r a n o t h e r ' s d e m a n d s . A g a i n t h e h i g h e r e c o n o m i c b r a c k e t made o u t s i d e h e l p e a s i l y a v a i l a b l e . 16. E i g h t y p e r c e n t o f t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e w o u l d w a i t u n t i l 30 a g a i n t o have c h i l d r e n . The women i n t h i s s a m p l e f e l t t h a t t h e a d v a n t a g e s o f a p e r i o d o f p e r s o n a l f r e e d o m , f i n a n c i a l s e c u r i t y , c a r e e r d e v e l o p m e n t , a n d m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t b r o u g h t on by d e l a y i n g p a r e n t h o o d w e r e i m p o r t a n t t o t h e i r c o n t e n t m e n t a s m o t h e r s . T h e i r s a t i s f a c t i o n a p p e a r s t o c o n t r a d i c t t h e f i n d i n g s o f P r o c a c i n i ( 1 9 83) a n d W i d e m a n ( 1 9 8 3 ) . R a t h e r t h a n f e e l i n g " b u r n o u t " o r h a v i n g o v e r l y r o m a n t i c i z e d v i e w s o f p a r e n t h o o d , t h e women i n t h i s s a m p l e a r e happy w i t h t h e i r d e c i s i o n . 17. The women i n t h i s s a m p l e f o u n d t h a t h a v i n g c h i l d r e n r e q u i r e d a l a r g e a d j u s t m e n t on t h e i r p a r t . F r o m r e a d i n g t h e s e c t i o n on " A d v i c e " i t i s o b v i o u s t h a t t h e women f e l t t h a t h a v i n g a c h i l d made a s i g n i f i c a n t d i f f e r e n c e i n t h e i r l i v e s . T h e y i n d i c a t e d i t was n o t a 107 d e c i s i o n t o be t a k e n l i g h t l y . They f e l t t h a t t h e r e was s t i l l a p e r i o d o f a d j u s t m e n t e v e n when t h e y h a d d o n e s u c h c a r e f u l p l a n n i n g t o r e d u c e o r e l i m i n a t e p r o b l e m s . B e f o r e l e a v i n g t h e r e s u l t s o f t h i s s t u d y a n d l o o k i n g a t t h e i r i m p l i c a t i o n s , i t i s n e c e s s a r y t o e x a m i n e i n t e r r e l a t i o n -s h i p s o f t h e f i n d i n g s . The d a t a h a v e b e e n p r e s e n t e d i n s e p a r a t e t o p i c s f o r c o n v e n i e n c e i n a n a l y z i n g t h e e x p e r i e n c e . H owever, t h e v a r i o u s a r e a s d i s c u s s e d a r e n o t s e p a r a t e , d i s t i n c t a r e a s w i t h i n t h e woman's l i f e , e a c h a r e a i m p a c t s and i s i m p a c t e d on by a n o t h e r . T h i s i n t e r d e p e n d e n c y i s i n d i c a t e d when R e s p o n d e n t 1 h a d m u t u a l l y a g r e e d w i t h h e r h u s b a n d t h a t s h e s h o u l d r e m a i n a t home, t h a t h e r j o b t o be a t home was i m p o r t a n t . The f a c t t h a t he saw h e r i n a " j o b " a l l e v i a t e d f i n a n c i a l i n e q u a l i t i e s a n d s h e f e l t no q u a l m s a b o u t s p e n d i n g money t o go t o t h e t e n n i s c l u b t o e x e r c i s e . The e x e r c i s e p r o v i d e d an o p p o r t u n i t y t o i m p r o v e h e r p h y s i c a l i m a g e , t o i n c r e a s e h e r s t a m i n a t o f e n d o f f f a t i g u e a n d t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o meet w i t h f r i e n d s w h i c h f o r m e d h e r v e r y s t r o n g s u p p o r t s y s t e m . F r o m t h a t s u p p o r t s y s t e m , s h e g a i n e d e m o t i o n a l a n d i n t e l l e c t u a l s u p p o r t . The f a c t t h a t t h e i r f i n a n c e s w e r e good a l l o w e d h e r t o have o u t s i d e h e l p g i v i n g h e r " s p a c e " as she f e l t she s t i l l had c o n t r o l o v e r some h o u r s o f h e r l i f e . I n a s e c o n d e x a m p l e , R e s p o n d e n t 12, who was w o r k i n g f u l l -108 t i m e , f e l t p r e s s u r e d i n t r y i n g t o k e e p t h r e e r o l e s g o i n g a n d was c o n t e m p l a t i n g d i v o r c e . Her l a c k o f t i m e w i t h h e r h u s b a n d i m p a c t e d on h e r s e l f - c o n c e p t a s s h e w a s n ' t g e t t i n g a n y f e e d b a c k f r o m h i m as t o h e r a t t r a c t i v e n e s s . F u r t h e r , t h e l a c k o f s u p p o r t f r o m h e r h u s b a n d may be c a u s i n g h e r t o s e e k o u t m o r e women f r i e n d s t o h e l p h e r o u t . I n a t h i r d e x a m p l e , R e s p o n d e n t 6 t a l k s a b o u t h e r f a m i l y s u p p o r t s y s t e m t a k i n g an a c t i v e p a r t i n h e l p i n g w i t h h e r c h i l d . When t h e y b a b y s i t , s h e i s a b l e t o g e t a w a y f o r a f e w d a y s t o g a i n a f e e l i n g o f c o n t r o l o r t o have an o p p o r t u n i t y t o be w i t h h e r h u s b a n d . By h a v i n g t o g e t h e r t i m e , t h e y a r e a b l e t o d i s c u s s t h e i r p r o b l e m s a n d h a v e a s h a r e d r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o w a r d s t h e i r s o n. A n d s o i t g o e s . E a c h a r e a i s n o t d i s t i n c t b u t a n i n t r i c a t e p a r t o f e a c h w oman's l i f e . I t i s p o s s i b l e , t h e r e f o r e , t o a d o p t c e r t a i n c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s i n one a r e a t h a t may i m p a c t on o t h e r a r e a s and have a much g r e a t e r e f f e c t t h a n i n i t i a l l y r e a l i z e d . The f o l l o w i n g s e c t i o n d e a l s w i t h t h e s e s t r a t e g i e s d e v e l o p i n g s p e c i f i c r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s . I m p l i c a t i o n s f o r T h e o r y and P r a c t i c e From r e v i e w i n g t h e t o p i c s p r e s e n t e d , a number o f p o s s i b l e r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s a r e r e v e a l e d t h a t , i f a c t e d upon, may i m p r o v e a woman's t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d a f t e r 3 0 . T h e s e 109 recommendations may be a p p l i e d c o u n s e l l i n g programmes, or by recommendations are: by the women t h e m s e l v e s , i n s o c i e t y as a whole. These 1. Women s h o u l d d i s c u s s t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s w i t h t h e i r husbands before the a r r i v a l of c h i l d r e n . I t i s o b v i o u s t h a t the husband p l a y s an i m p o r t a n t r o l e i n the woman's s u c c e s s f u l t r a n s i t i o n to parenthood I t would seem that although the r o l e s of husband and wife are changing, t h i s p a r t i c u l a r sample s t i l l found t h e i r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s and that of t h e i r husbands to be q u i t e d i f f e r e n t . I t i s s u g g e s t e d by t h i s r e s e a r c h that t h i s should be a t o p i c of d i s c u s s i o n before the a r r i v a l of the c h i l d . For women who have been accustomed to b e i n g on an e q u a l f o o t i n g f o r s e v e r a l y e a r s b e f o r e the a r r i v a l of the c h i l d , i t i s "a shock to the sy s t e m " to f i n d that many men s t i l l hold t r a d i t i o n a l ideas r e g a r d i n g the r o l e of motherhood. When women have more modern i d e a s of t h e i r r o l e s than t h e i r husbands, problems may erupt. D i s c u s s i o n of t h i s area could be i n c o r p o r a t e d i n p r e - n a t a l c o u n s e l l i n g . 2. Women s h o u l d make t i m e to be a l o n e w i t h t h e i r husbands. The research of t h i s sample i n d i c a t e s that when a husband and w i f e have t i m e a l o n e t o g e t h e r , they have t i m e to share f e e l i n g s and t h o u g h t s t h a t enhance the r e l a t i o n s h i p . The husband i s seen as su p p o r t i v e and understanding. 110 3 . Women should and meet with take s teps to l o c a t e a support group th i s group r e g u l a r l y . This sample indicates that a support group i s extremely important to t h e i r p s y c h o l o g i c a l w e l l - b e i n g . It may be d i f f i c u l t to locate a convenient neighbourhood support group because of the fact that many women are working f u l l - t i m e , but i t i s important to seek one out. Moreover, i t would seem, for th is sample, contact with a support group should be made on a regular basis. 4. More p a r t - t i m e employment should be a v a i l a b l e to women. From t h i s sample, i t appears that the r o l e of f u l l - t i m e career mother i s a d i f f i c u l t one to handle. The fact that the p a r t - t i m e workers found i t e a s i e r to balance the demands on the ir time, f e l t f i n a n c i a l independence and career s t imulat ion seems to indicate that more part- t ime opportunit ies would be b e n e f i c i a l to women and t h e i r f a m i l i e s . T h i s may be p a r t i c u l a r l y r e l e v a n t to women who have delayed having c h i l d r e n because of t h e i r prev ious work experience and r o l e expectations. 5. D i scuss c h i l d r e n of prev ious marriages and t h e i r p o s i t i o n i n the second f a m i l y before the second 111 family begins. In th i s sample, those women who married men who had been previously married and had ch i ldren by that marriage found his other c h i l d r e n . a n area of d i s c o n t e n t . D i s c u s s i o n of the re la t ionsh ip of the ch i ldren of the previous marriage and the second marriage before the c h i l d i s born may a l l e v i a t e some of the problems. It would be f o o l i s h to ignore that other women have had problems in th i s area. 6. D i s c u s s i o n of f i n a n c i a l c o n t r o l should take place before the c h i l d i s born. I t was s t r o n g l y f e l t i n t h i s sample t h a t l a c k of f i n a n c i a l contro l i s a problem. It may be that part- t ime work w i l l help here. However, for the woman who remains at home, an arrangement with her husband should be made that al lows her to f ee l she has some contro l over the monetary s i t u a t i o n . It i s a d v i s a b l e to d i s cus s the matter before the c h i l d i s born, b e t t e r s t i l l , b e f o r e the woman g i v e s up her f u l l - t i m e employment. This area too, may be incorporated in pre-nata l counsel l ing sessions. 7. Women who delay parenthood should exercise rout ine ly to combat fat igue . That women who delay parenthood exper ience f a t i g u e was widely agreed upon in th is sample. It was f e l t that exercise would help a l l e v i a t e th i s . However, exercise was d i f f i c u l t to 112 keep up i f i t did not i n c l u d e other b e n e f i t s . Those women who saw e x e r c i s e as a part of a r o u t i n e that a l lowed them an o p p o r t u n i t y to be wi th a support group were more l i k e l y to continue with exerc is ing than those women who just exercised. There had to be a greater incent ive to exerc is ing than simply gett ing in shape and reducing fa t igue . 8. Women need to "get away" from the r o u t i n e of motherhood to reduce f a t i g u e and gain a sense of contro l of the ir time. Women who have delayed having ch i ldren are accustomed to being i n c o n t r o l of t h e i r l i v e s and f i n d the demands of ch i ldren d i f f i c u l t . By f inding time just for themselves, th is problem i s reduce. 9. I t must be accepted that c e r t a i n c h i l d r e n are more d i f f i c u l t than other. For women who have d i f f i c u l t ch i ldren , i t may be that one coping s t ra tegy i s to r e c o g n i z e the s i t u a t i o n as temporary. However, i t may a l so help i f s o c i e t y as a whole recogn izes that some ch i ldren are more d i f f i c u l t and i t i s not a sign of f a i l u r e on the part of the mother. A sense of f a i l u r e i s p a r t i c u l a r l y hard on the high a c h i e v i n g women presented i n t h i s sample and could be lessened i f i t was recognized that some ch i ldren are more d i f f i c u l t than others. 113 Summary H a v i n g r e v i e w e d t h e l i v e s o f 15 women who d e l a y e d h a v i n g t h e i r c h i l d r e n , i t w o u l d a p p e a r t h a t t h e y do n o t f i t P r o c a c i n i ' s (1983) p i c t u r e o f p a r e n t b u r n o u t , n o r do t h e y seem t o h a v e r o m a n t i c i d e a s r e g a r d i n g p a r e n t h o o d t h a t W i d e m a n ( M c Q u a i g , 1983) d e s c r i b e s . R a t h e r , t h e y a p p e a r t o be women, who f o r t h e m o s t p a r t , h a v e c h o s e n a r o u t e t h a t t h e y a r e h a p p y w i t h . T h e y a c k n o w l e d g e t h a t t h e r e a r e p r o b l e m s , b u t t h e y have f o u n d many c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s t o d e a l w i t h them. I t may be t h a t t h e s e w o m en a r e u s e d t o s e e k i n g p r o f e s s i o n a l a d v i c e i n many a r e a s and want t o make s u r e t h a t t h e y a r e d o i n g a l l t h e b e s t t h i n g s f o r t h e i r c h i l d . They may s e e k o u t f a m i l y c o u n s e l l i n g f o r s m a l l p r o b l e m s b e f o r e t h e y g e t o u t o f c o n t r o l ( a s i n d i c a t e d by R e s p o n d e n t 2 ) . I t may be a l s o t h a t t h e women who r e p o r t p a r e n t b u r n o u t a r e t h o s e t r y i n g t o c o m b i n e f u l l - t i m e work w i t h m o t h e r h o o d , s i n c e t h i s was t h e one a r e a i n t h i s s a m p l e where t h e women a c k n o w l e d g e d some r e a l p r o b l e m s . H o w e v e r , t h e f a c t t h a t t w e l v e o u t o f f i f t e e n women i n t h i s g r o u p w o u l d do e x a c t l y t h e same t h i n g a g a i n , i n r e g a r d s t o t h e t i m i n g o f t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d , i n d i c a t e s a s e n s e o f s a t i s f a c t i o n w i t h t h e i r t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . 114 I m p l i c a t i o n s f o r F u t u r e R e s e a r c h The f i r s t r e c o m m e n d a t i o n o f f u t u r e r e s e a r c h w o u l d be t h e r e p l i c a t i o n o f t h i s s t u d y t o f u r t h e r v a l i d a t e t h e f i n d i n g s . R e p l i c a t i o n w o u l d b e n e f i t f r o m a number o f m o d i f i c a t i o n s t h a t w o u l d e n h a n c e i t s e f f e c t i v e n e s s as a r e s e a r c h t o o l . The f i r s t m o d i f i c a t i o n w o u l d be t o do t h e same i n t e r v i e w s t y l e w i t h b o t h t h e w i f e a n d t h e h u s b a n d . I n v i e w o f t h e i m p a c t t h a t t h e h u s b a n d h a d on t h e woman's t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d ( i n t h i s s a m p l e ) , i n t e r m s o f r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s , f i n a n c e s , a n d s e l f -c o n c e p t , i t w o u l d be e n l i g h t e n i n g t o l e a r n how t h e h u s b a n d e x p e r i e n c e s d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d . The s e c o n d m o d i f i c a t i o n w o u l d be t h e a d d i t i o n o f t h e L o c k e - W a l l a c e A d j u s t m e n t S c a l e . S i n c e t h e L o c k e - W a l l a c e A d j u s t m e n t S c a l e h a s b e e n u s e d i n many r e s e a r c h a r t i c l e s , i t s i n c l u s i o n i n t h i s r e p l i c a t e d s t u d y , f o r c o m p a r a t i v e p u r p o s e s w o u l d be b e n e f i c i a l . T h e t h i r d m o d i f i c a t i o n o f t h e s t u d y w o u l d be t h e i n c l u s i o n o f a s c a l e t o measure r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s . S i n c e t h e Bern S e x - R o l e S c a l e has l i m i t a t i o n s i n v i e w o f t o d a y ' s c h a n g i n g v a l u e s , f u t u r e r e s e a r c h w o u l d be r e s p o n s i b l e f o r d e v e l o p i n g a new s c a l e . The f o u r t h m o d i f i c a t i o n t h a t w o u l d b e n e f i t t h e s t u d y w o u l d be t h e i n c l u s i o n o f a l o n g i t u d i n a l a s p e c t . I n v i e w o f t h e i m p l i c a t i o n s , r e g a r d i n g s t r a t e g i c p l a n n i n g t h a t women i n t h i s p r e s e n t s t u d y r e v e a l e d , i t i s n e c e s s a r y t o l o o k a t t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e o f d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d 10 t o 15 y e a r s a f t e r t h e 115 b i r t h o f t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d . D i d t h e i r p l a n s w o r k o u t ? U n f o r t u n a t e l y , t h i s was n o t t h o u g h t o f a t t h e o u t s e t o f t h i s p r e s e n t s t u d y . O t h e r w i s e , a g r e e m e n t t o a f o l l o w - u p s t u d y c o u l d have been i n c l u d e d i n t h e c o n s e n t f o r m . O t h e r q u e s t i o n s t h a t s h o u l d be a d d r e s s e d i n t h e l o n g i t u d i n a l a s p e c t o f t h e s t u d y a r e : ( 1 ) I f t h e woman b e c a m e a f u l l - t i m e h o m e m a k e r d i d s h e r e t u r n t o w o r k ? I f n o t , how i s s h e d e a l i n g w i t h t h i s c h a n g e i n p l a n s ? ( 2 ) How a r e o l d e r m o t h e r s d e a l i n g w i t h t e e n a g e r s ? What, i f a n y , a r e t h e i r p r o b l e m s ? ( 3 ) How do m a r r i a g e s w i t h d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d f a r e ? The s e c o n d r e c o m m e n d a t i o n f o r f u t u r e r e s e a r c h w o u l d be t h e i n c l u s i o n o f " r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n c o u n s e l l i n g " i n e i t h e r p r e -n a t a l o r p r e - m a r i t a l s e s s i o n s . R o l e e x p e c t a t i o n c o u n s e l l i n g V c o u l d be d o n e w i t h one g r o u p a n d t h e n c o m p a r e d t o a c o n t r o l g r o u p a y e a r a f t e r t h e b i r t h o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d . T h i s r e s e a r c h w o u l d i n d i c a t e w h e t h e r r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n c o u n s e l l i n g i s e f f e c t i v e i n a i d i n g t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . I n c o n c l u s i o n , i t a p p e a r s t h a t t h i s p r e s e n t s t u d y h a s a n s w e r e d many q u e s t i o n s r e g a r d i n g d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d a n d i n d i c a t e d f r u i t f u l a r e a s f o r f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h . 116 BIBLIOGRAPHY Behrman, D.L. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . F a m i l y a n d / o r c a r e e r p l a n s o f f i r s t t i m e m o t h e r s . I n N a t h a n , P.E. ( e d . ) R e s e a r c h i n C l i n i - c a l P s y c h o l o g y . Ann A r b o r , M i c h i g a n : W.M.I. R e s e a r c h P r e s s . B e l s k y , J a y , S p a n i e r , G r a h a m B. S R o v i n e , M i c h a e l . ( 1 9 8 3 ) . S t a b i l i t y and cha n g e i n m a r r i a g e a c r o s s t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y , 45, 567-577. Bern, S.L. & Bern, D.J. ( 1 9 7 2 ) . T r a i n i n g women t o know h e r p l a c e . I n L.K. House ( e d . ) , The F u t u r e o f t h e F a m i l y :  The A m e r i c a n F a m i l y . New Y o r k : Simon and S c h u s t e r . B u r a p a s s , L.L., R i n d h u s s , R., & J a n o s i k , R.B. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . Age a n d m a r i t a l s t a t u s a t f i r s t b i r t h a n d t h e p a c e o f s u b s e q u e n t f e r t i l i t y . Demography. 15, 75-86. Bumpass, L. & S w e e t , J . ( 1 9 8 0 ) . P a t t e r n s o f Employment B e f o r e  a n d a f t e r C h i l d b i r t h . W a s h i n g t o n , D.C.: N a t i o n a l C e n t r e f o r H e a l t h S t a t i s t i c s . B u r g e s s , R.G. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . T h e u n s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w a s a c o n v e r s a t i o n . F i e l d R e s e a r c h : A S o u r c e b o o k and F i e l d  M a n u a l . L o n d o n : G e o r g e A l l a n and U n w i n . C a r l s o n , E l w o o d , K a n i s t i n s o n , ( 1 9 8 2 ) . M o t h e r h o o d , m a r r i a g e and t i m i n g and m a r i t a l s t a b i l i t y : a r e s e a r c h n o t e . S o c i a l  F o r c e s . 6 1 , 1-2. C h e r l i n , A n d r e w . ( 1 9 8 3 ) . P o s t p o n i n g m a r r i a g e : t h e i n f l u e n c e o f young women's work e x p e c t a t i o n . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and  t h e F a m i l y . 42, 3 5 5 - 3 6 5 . C o o m b s , L.C. & F r e e d m a n , R. ( 1 9 6 6 ) . C h i l d s p a c i n g a n d f a m i l y e c o n o m i c p o s i t i o n . A m e r i c a n S o c i o l o g i c a l R e v i e w . 31, 6 3 1 -648. C h r i s t e n s e n , H.T. ( 1 9 6 8 ) . C h i l d r e n i n t h e f a m i l y : r e l a t i o n s h i p o f number and s p a c i n g t o m a r i t a l s u c c e s s . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 25, 283-289. 117 D u v a l l , E.M. ( 1 9 7 1 ) . F a m i l y D e v e l o p m e n t . P h i l a d e l p h i a : J.B L i p p i n c o t t . D y e r , E.D. ( 1 9 6 3 ) . P a r e n t h o o d as a c r i s i s : a r e - s t u d y . Mar- r i a g e and F a m i l y L i v i n g . 2 5 , 1 9 6 - 2 0 1 . E l d e r , G.H. & R o c k w e l l , R.C. ( 1 9 7 7 ) . M a r i t a l t i m i n g i n women's l i f e p a t t e r n s . F a m i l y H i s t o r y . 1_, 34-54. E n t w i s l e , D.R. & D o e r i n g , S.G. ( 1 9 8 1 ) . The F i r s t B i r t h : A  F a m i l y T u r n i n g P o i n t . B a l t i m o r e : J o h n H o p k i n s U n i v e r s i t y P r e s s . F a b e , M. & W i k l e r , N. Up A g a i n s t t h e C l o c k . New Y o r k : Random House. 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E m p i r i c a l p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l a n a l y s i s o f b e i n g c r i m i n a l l y v i c t i m i z e d . D u s q u e s n e S t u d i e s  i n P h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l P s y c h o l o g y . 5_, 135. G i o r g i , A. ( 1 9 7 2 ) . C o n v e r g e n c e a n d d i v e r g e n c e o f q u a l i t a t i v e and q u a n t i t a t i v e methods i n p s y c h o l o g y . D u s q uesne S t u d i e s  i n P h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l P s y c h o l o g y . _5, pp. 2. P i t t s b u r g : D u s q u e s n e P r e s s . G u t t m a n , H.A. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . Autonomy and m o t h e r h o o d . P s y c h i a t r y . 46, 2 3 0 -234. H o b b s , D a n i e l F. ( 1 9 6 5 ) . P a r e n t h o o d a s a c r i s i s : a t h i r d s t u d y . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . _5. 3 6 7 - 3 7 2 . 118 H o b b s , D.F. J r . & C o l e , S.P. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . T r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d : a d e c a d e r e p l i c a t i o n . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 5, 7 2 3 - 7 3 1 . H o u s e k n e c k t , S.K. & Macke, A.S. ( 1 9 8 1 ) . C o m b i n i n g m a r r i a g e and c a r e e r : t h e m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t o f p r o f e s s i o n a l women. J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . A3, 6 5 1 - 6 6 1 . J a c o b y , A.P. ( 1 9 6 9 ) . T r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d : a r e a s s e s s m e n t . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 3 1 , 720-727. K e r n , I r i s . ( 1 9 8 2 ) . ..an e n d l e s s j o y . , t h e c u l t u r e o f m o t h e r h o o d o v e r 3 5. I n K.H. D o c k e t t (Ed.). P a p e r s i n  S o c i a l S c i e n c e s . 2^ 32- 5 0 . L a R o s s a , R a l p h , & L a R o s s a , M a u r e e n . ( 1 9 8 1 ) . T r a n s i t i o n  t o P a r e n t h o o d : How I n f a n t s C h a n g e F a m i l i e s . S a g e L i b r a r y o f S o c i a l R e s e a r c h , 119. B e v e r l y H i l l s : Sage P u b l i c a t i o n s . L e M a s t e r , E.E. ( 1 9 5 7 ) . P a r e n t h o o d , as a c r i s i s . M a r r i a g e and  F a m i l y L i v i n g . 19., 35 2 - 3 5 5 . L e e , R.E. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . R e t u r n i n g t o w o r k ; p o t e n t i a l p r o b l e m s f o r m i d - c a r e e r m o t h e r s . J o u r n a l o f Sex and M a r i t a l T h e r a p y . 9_ ( 3 ) , 2 1 9 - 2 3 1 . L i e b e r , E.K. ( 1 9 8 0 ) . The p r o f e s s i o n a l woman: c o p i n g i n a t w o -c a r e e r f a m i l y . E d u c a t i o n a l H o r i z o n s . 58 ( 3 ) , 1 5 3 - 1 6 1 . L o c k e , H.J. & W a l l a c e , K.M. ( 1 9 5 9 ) . S h o r t m a r i t a l a d j u s t m e n t and p r e d i c t i o n t e s t s : t h e i r r e l i a b i l i t y and v a l i d i t y . M a r r i a g e and F a m i l y L i v i n g . 2 1 , 2 5 1 - 2 5 5 . L u c k e y , E.B. & B a i n , J.K. ( 1 9 7 0 ) . C h i l d r e n : a f a c t o r i n m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 32, A3-AA. M c L a u g h l i n , S.D. & M i c h l i n , M. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . The t i m i n g o f t h e f i r s t b i r t h and c h a n g e s i n p e r s o n a l e f f i c a c y . J o u r n a l o f Mar- r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . A5, A5-46. M c Q u a i g , W. ( F e b r u a r y 1 5, 1 9 8 3 ) . The new p a r e n t t r a p . M a c -l e a n s . A8b. 119 M e n a g h a n , E. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . A s s e s s i n g t h e i m p a c t o n f a m i l y t r a n s i t i o n s on m a r i t a l e x p e r i e n c e . I n M c C u b b i n , H.E., C a u b l e , A.E. & P a t t e r s o n , J.M. ( E d s . ) . F a m i l y S t r e s s ,  C o p i n g a n d S o c i a l S u p p o r t . S p r i n g f i e l d : C h a r l e s C. Thomas. M e y e r o w i t z , H.H. & F e l d m a n , H. ( 1 9 6 6 ) . T r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . I n Cohen, I.M. ( E d . ) F a m i l y S t r u c t u r e ,  D y n a m i c s a n d T h e r a p y . New Y o r k : A m e r i c a n P s y c h i a t r i c A s s o c i a t i o n . M i l l e r , B. & S o l l i e , D. ( 1 9 8 0 ) . N o r m a l s t r e s s e s d u r i n g t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . F a m i l y R e l a t i o n s . 29, 4 5 9 - 4 6 5 . M i l l e r , W.B. & Newman, ( E d s . ) The F i r s t C h i l d and F a m i l y  F o r m a t i o n . C h a p e l H i l l s : C a r o l i n a P o p u l a t i o n C e n t e r . N y e , F . I . ( 1 9 6 3 ) . P e r s o n a l s a t i s f a c t i o n s . I n N y e , F . I . & H o f f m a n , L. ( E d s . ) The E m p l o y e d M o t h e r i n A m e r i c a . pp. 3 2 0 - 3 3 0 . C h i c a g o : Rand M c N a l l y . P e a r l i n , L . I . & S c h o o l e r , C. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . The s t r u c t u r e o f c o p i n g . I n M c C u b b i n , H.I., C a u b l e , A.E., & P a t t e r s o n J.M. ( E d s . ) . F a m i l y S t r e s s , C o p i n g a n d S o c i a l S u p p o r t . pp. 1 0 9 - 1 2 5 . S p r i n g f i e l d , I l l i n o i s : C h a r l e s C. Thomas. P o h l m a n , E. ( 1 9 6 8 ) . The t i m i n g o f f i r s t b i r t h s : a r e v i e w o f e f f e c t s . E ugenus Q u a r t e r l y . _5, 2 5 2 - 2 6 3 . P r o c a c c i n i , J . & K u f a b e r , W. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . P a r e n t B u r n o u t . T o r o n t o : D o u b l e d a y P r e s s . R a p o p o r t R., R a p o p o r t , R.N., & S t r e l i t z , Z. ( 1 9 7 7 ) . F a t h e r s ,  M o t h e r s and S o c i e t y . New Y o r k : B a s i c B o o k s . R i n d f u s s , R.R. & S t . J o h n , C. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . S o c i a l d e t e r m i n a n t s o f ag e a t f i r s t b i r t h . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e a n d t h e F a m i l y . 4 5 , 5 5 3 - 5 6 5 . R o b i n s o n , S.L., R o r t e r , M.F. & W i l s o n , J . ( 1 9 8 3 ) . M o t h e r ' s c o n t e m p o r a r y c a r e e r d e c i s i o n s i m p a c t on f a m i l y . P e r s o n a l  and G u i d a n c e J o u r n a l . 60, 5 3 5 - 5 3 8 . R o d g e r , R.H. & W i t n e y , G. ( 1 9 8 1 ) . The f a m i l y c y c l e i n t h e t w e n t i e t h c e n t u r y C a n a d a . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e  F a m i l y . 43 ( 3 - 4 ) . 120 R o l l i n s , B o y d C. & F e l d m a n , H. ( 1 9 7 0 ) . M a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n o v e r t h e f a m i l y l i f e c y c l e . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 32, 20-28. R o s s i , A.S. ( 1 9 6 8 ) . T r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . J o u r n a l o f Mar- r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 30, 26-39. R o t t e r , J.B. ( 1 9 6 6 ) . G e n e r a l i z e d e x p e c t a n c i e s f o r i n t e r n a l v e r s u s e x t e r n a l c o n t r o l o f r e i n f o r c e m e n t . P s y c h o l o g i c a l  M o n o g r a p h s . 80 ( 6 0 9 ) . R u s s e l l , C.S. ( 1 9 7 4 ) . T r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d : p r o b l e m s and g r a t i f i c a t i o n s . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e a n d t h e F a m i l y . .36, 294-304. R y d e r , R. ( 1 9 7 3 ) . L o n g i t u d i n a l d a t a r e l a t i n g m a r i t a l s a t i s f a c t i o n and h a v i n g a c h i l d . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and  t h e F a m i l y . 3 5 , 6 0 4 - 6 0 6 . S e a r s , R.R.L., M a c c o b y , E. & L e v i n , H. ( 1 9 5 7 ) . P a t t e r n s o f  C h i l d R e a r i n g . E v a n s o n , I l l i n o i s : Row, P e t e r s o n a n d Company. S e t h , M. & K h a n n a M. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . C h i l d r e a r i n g a t t i t u d e s o f t h e m o t h e r s as a f u n c t i o n o f age. C h i l d P s y c h i a t r y . 2_, 6-9. S h o n t z , F.C. ( 1 9 6 5 ) . R e s e a r c h M e t h o d s i n P e r s o n a l i t y . New Y o r k : A p p l e t o n - C e n t u r y - C r o f t s . S o r e n s e n , A. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . Woman's e m p l o y m e n t p a t t e r n s a f t e r m a r r i a g e . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 4 5, 3 1 1 - 3 2 1 . S t a k e , R o b e r t ( 1 9 8 0 ) . S e e k i n g s w eet w a t e r . Case S t u d y M e t h o d s  i n E d u c a t i o n a l R e s e a r c h . U n i v e r s i t y o f I l l i n o i s . S t e f f e n s m e i r , R.H. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . A r o l e m o d e l o f t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o p a r e n t h o o d . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e a n d t h e F a m i l y . 4 4, 3 1 9 -333. W a l d r o n , H. & R o u t h , D. The e f f e c t o f t h e f i r s t c h i l d on t h e m a r i t a l r e l a t i o n s h i p . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 4_3, 7 8 5 - 7 8 8 . W i l k i e , J a n e . ( 1 9 8 1 ) . The t r e n d t o w a r d d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d . J o u r n a l o f M a r r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y l . 4 3 , 5 8 3 - 5 9 1 . W r i g h t , J.D. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . A r e w o r k i n g women r e a l l y more s a t i s f i e d ? E v i d e n c e f r o m s e v e r a l n a t i o n a l s u r v e y s . J o u r n a l o f Mar- r i a g e and t h e F a m i l y . 4 0, 3 0 1 - 3 1 3 . 121 APPENDIX A Age: E d u c a t i o n : O c c u p a t i o n : Y e a r o f M a r r i a g e : Number o f C h i l d r e n : B i r t h D a t e s o f C h i l d r e n : Age when f i r s t c h i l d was b o r n : Income o f F a m i l y : $10,000 _ $20,000 $20,000 - $30,000 $30,000 - $40,000 $40,000 - $50,000 a b o v e Age o f h u s b a n d : 122 APPENDIX B I am i n t e r e s t e d i n e x p l o r i n g t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f b e g i n n i n g p a r e n t h o o d a f t e r 30. More and more women a r e w a i t i n g u n t i l 30 t o h a v e t h e i r f i r s t c h i l d . I t ' s b e c o m i n g a common s i t u a t i o n t o d a y - u n l i k e o u r m o t h e r s - and I want t o know more a b o u t t h e e x p e r i e n c e , how women who have d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d f e e l a b o u t i t , w h a t i t means t o t h e m , i t s p r o b l e m s a n d i t s j o y s . I w o n d e r i f y o u c o u l d t e l l me a b o u t y o u r o w n e x p e r i e n c e b e g i n n i n g w h e r e v e r you f e e l a p p r o p r i a t e . A r e a s : The e f f e c t o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f d e l a y e d p a r e n t h o o d on: 1. r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( p a r e n t s , h u s b a n d , f r i e n d s , c h i l d r e n ) ; 2. s e l f - c o n c e p t ; 3. f i n a n c i a l s i t u a t i o n ; , and 4. c a r e e r . Summary Q u e s t i o n s 1. I f y o u h a d i t t o do o v e r , w o u l d y o u h a v e c h i l d r e n when you d i d o r e a r l i e r o r l a t e r i n l i f e ? 2. What w o r d s o f a d v i c e w o u l d you o f f e r o t h e r women who have t h e i r c h i l d r e n a f t e r 30? 123 APPENDIX C A S t u d y o f D e l a y e d M o t h e r h o o d C o n s e n t Form J o y A l e x a n d e r , a g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t o f c o u n s e l l i n g p s y c h o l o g y i n E d u c a t i o n u n d e r t h e s u p e r v i s i o n o f D r . J o h n Banmen, A s s o c i a t e P r o f e s s o r i s c o n d u c t i n g a r e s e a r c h s t u d y . T h i s s t u d y i s l o o k i n g a t t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f d e l a y i n g m o t h e r h o o d u n t i l a f t e r 3 0 , i t s p r o b l e m s ( i f a n y ) a n d t h e c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s t h a t t h e s e m o t h e r s u s e . P a r t i c i p a n t s i n t h i s s t u d y w i l l be i n t e r v i e w e d by J o y A l e x a n d e r f o r 1 1/2 h o u r s , d u r i n g w h i c h t i m e t h e y w i l l f i l l o u t a s h o r t d e m o g r a p h i c q u e s t i o n n a i r e a n d a n s w e r q u e s t i o n s c o n c e r n i n g t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e o f w a i t i n g u n t i l a f t e r 30 t o have t h e i r c h i l d r e n . The i n t e r v i e w w i l l be r e c o r d e d on c a s s e t t e t a p e . T h e t a p e w i l l be k e p t c o n f i d e n t i a l a n d w i l l be d e s t r o y e d a t t h e c o m p l e t i o n o f t h e s t u d y . The n a m e s a n d i d e n t i f y i n g c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s w i l l be k e p t c o n f i d e n t i a l a n d w i l l be c h a n g e d on a l l w r i t t e n m a t e r i a l h a v i n g t o do w i t h t h i s s t u d y . P a r t i c i p a n t s h ave t h e r i g h t t o r e f u s e t o be i n v o l v e d w i t h t h i s s t u d y o r t o w i t h d r a w t h e i r p a r t i c i p a t i o n a t any t i m e . I , , c o n s e n t t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n t h i s s t u d y a n d h a v e r e c e i v e d a c o p y o f t h i s C o n s e n t Form. ( S i g n a t u r e ) ( D a t e ) 124 APPENDIX D I : I n t e r v i e w e r R: R e s p o n d e n t R: T h e r e w e r e a t l e a s t 15 f r i e n d s , o r g o o d a c q u a i n t a n c e s t h a t I h a d , t h a t w e r e i n t h e same s i t u a t i o n , a n d t h a t i s how we s t a r t e d t h i s MIT g r o u p , t h e M o t h e r s i n T r a i n i n g G r o u p , t h a t we h a v e t h a t i s v e r y , v e r y s p e c i a l t o a l l o f us. We met f o r l u n c h r i g h t a f t e r o u r c h i l d r e n w e r e b o r n and t h e n t h a t has k e p t us v e r y , v e r y m o t i v a t e d , and v e r y , v e r y i n t e r e s t e d i n , e v e r y t h i n g . And we w e r e a l l i n o u r t h i r t i e s and we a l l had had o u r c a r e e r s b e h i n d us and we were a l l i n t h i s t o g e t h e r . I : B u t y o u r were f r i e n d s b e f o r e hand? R: J u s t m o r e o r l e s s a c q u a i n t a n c e s , a l l o u r c h i l d r e n w e r e b o r n w i t h i n t h r e e m o n t h s . . . . I : You c a l l y o u r s e l f . . . R: M . I . T . ' s , M o t h e r s i n T r a i n i n g . . . I : I n t r a i n i n g f o r . . . R: J u s t b e i n g m o t h e r s , t h a t ' s r i g h t . B e c a u s e we had had a l l t h i s t r a i n i n g b e f o r e a n d n e v e r h a d a n y t r a i n i n g f o r c h i l d r e n , r e a l l y , l i t t l e i n f a n t s anyway. I : So you meet... 125 R: ...co-op, I d o n ' t know do y o u w a n t t o t a l k a b o u t t h i s o r a n y t h i n g . . . I : Of c o u r s e . R: We h a v e a c o - o p b a b y s i t t i n g s y s t e m t h a t we w o r k e d o u t . E v e r y T u e s d a y m o r n i n g . We have t e a m s , t h e r e a r e 8 o r u s , a n d we h a v e t e a m s o f t w o a n d e v e r y b o d y i s i n a t e a m o f t w o and we have a r o t a t i n g s y s t e m , v e r y h i g h l y o r g a n i z e d r o t a t i n g s y s t e m , a n d my p a r t n e r a n d I h a v e a l l 8 c h i l d r e n on T u e s d a y m o r n i n g b e t w e e n 9 a n d 2 a n d t h e n t h e n e x t T u e s d a y t h e o t h e r t w o m o t h e r s h a v e t h e c h i l d r e n , we g e t t h e T u e s d a y m o r n i n g o f f , you s e e . So we r o t a t e . . . I : J u s t i n t h e same t i m e y o u a r e n o t on y o u r own, y o u do have one o t h e r p e r s o n w i t h y o u . . . R: . . . a b s o l u t e l y . . . I : ...somebody t o have c o f f e e w i t h and t a l k w i t h . . . R: . . . t h a t ' s r i g h t , t h a t ' s r i g h t . I : What a good i d e a . R: We have been d o i n g i t f o r 4 1/2 y e a r s . I : Was t h a t p a t t e r n e d a f t e r s o m e t h i n g o r j u s t s o m e t h i n g . . . R: W e l l , e v e r y b o d y l i k e s t o t a k e c r e d i t f o r s t a r t i n g t h e g r o u p and I l i k e t o t a k e c r e d i t f o r i t t o o . I w e n t a r o u n d t o a l l t h e o t h e r g r o u p s t h a t I knew t h a t w e r e d o i n g t h i n g s l i k e a n d w e n t t o t h e i r p l a y g r o u p s and l i s t e n e d t o t h e m a n d w h a t t h e y h a d t o s a y a n d w h a t w o r k e d and what d i d n ' t work. Some moms have one mom and a l l o f 126 t h e m , a n d I d i d n ' t l i k e t h a t , n o b o d y w a n t s t o be a l o n e w i t h a l l t h o s e k i d s , and o t h e r moms have t h e w h o l e g r o u p come t o t h e i r h o u s e , and t h e w h i l e b i g c o f f e e p a r t y s o r t o f t h i n g , a n d t h a t d i d n ' t w o r k . I w e n t t o one o f t h o s e and a l l t h e m o t h e r s were s i t t i n g i n one room and a l l t h e c h i l d r e n i n t h e o t h e r r o o m a n d n o b o d y w a s r e a l l y s u p e r v i s i n g t h e c h i l d r e n , b e c a u s e a l l t h e m o t h e r s w a n t e d t o t a l k . We h a v e v e r y s t r i c t r u l e s , y o u k n o w , t h e y h a v e t o come w i t h t h e i r p l a y c l o t h e s , and t h e i r r a i n g e a r and e v e r y t h i n g and we t a k e them d e f i n i t e l y o u t d o o r s a s much a s p o s s i b l e . T h e n , we a l l h a d s e c o n d c h i l d r e n , s o we a l t e r n a t e , so one T u e s d a y i s M i c h a e l ' s p l a y g r o u p and t h e n e x t T u e s d a y i s J o h n ' s p l a y g r o u p a n d t h e n e x t one i s M i c h a e l ' s a n d n e x t one i s J o h n ' s , M i c h a e l ' s a n d J o h n ' s a l l t h e way a l o n g . My p a r t n e r i s a l w a y s t h e same t i m e a l l t h e way a l o n g . I amy be b a b y s i t t i n g t w o T u e s d a y m o r n i n g s i n a row, b u t t h e n I g e t q u i t e a b i t o f f . So we h a v e w o r k e d t h i s a l l o u t . And t h e n i n t h e s p r i n g , f r o m May a n d J u n e , we a l w a y s h a v e o u t i n g s t h a t t h e w h o l e g r o u p , a l l t h e m o t h e r s and a l l t h e i r c h i l d r e n go o u t and e v e r y month we have s c h e d u l e d m e e t i n g s w i t h t h e m o t h e r s , w i t h o u t c h i l d r e n a n d we c a l l i n s p e a k e r s . We h a v e h a d a l l k i n d s o f i n t e r e s t i n g s p e a k e r s , n u r s e s come i n f r o m t h e b u r n w a r d , how t o p r e v e n t c h i l d r e n ' s b u r n s a n d w h a t 127 t o do i f t h e y have them. We have had p s y c h o l o g y s p e a k e r s come i n b e c a u s e o f Edna Nash. We t o o k t h e STEP p r o g r a m , we a l l d i d t h a t as a g r o u p t o g e t h e r . We have had...oh we have p e o p l e come and t e l l a b o u t c h i l d r e n s b o o k s , we have h a d l a d i e s come i n t o show us c h i l d r e n s c l o t h e s . We h a v e had s e w i n g n i g h t s w h e r e we h a v e a l l sewn t h e same p a t t e r n f o r o v e r a l l s when t h e y w e r e l i t t l e b a b i e s . We h a v e h a d n i g h t s on how t o make baby f o o d , you know. We have done t h a t t o g e t h e r s o t h a t we h a v e a l l p o o l e d a l l o u r r e s o u r c e s t o g e t h e r a n d s p l i t t h e m a l l up, y o u know. We h a v e h a d f a s c i n a t i n g t h i n g s . We h a v e t o p i c s . . . w e h a v e h a d moms t o p i c s , h a v e c h i l d r e n s t o p i c s , we h a v e h a d g e n e r a l p r o b l e m s o l v i n g s f o r d i s c u s s i o n s , how t o s o l v e p r o b l e m s you know a f t e r we t a k e t h e c o u r s e . How o f t e n i s t h i s a g a i n ? Once a month we meet. B u t , t h e n we see e a c h o t h e r e v e r y T u e s d a y y o u s e e , we come t o p i c k up o u r c h i l d r e n , s o we h a v e c o f f e e a f t e r t h a t . We h a v e o f t e n t a l k e d a b o u t h a v i n g c h i l d r e n i n o u r 3 0 ' s . We a l s o c u t o u t m a g a z i n e a r t i c l e s , y o u k n o w , a n y t h i n g o f a n y i n t e r e s t t o a n y o n e e l s e . We have a b i g f i l e t h a t we t a k e w i t h u s , you know, a b i g f i l i n g s y s t e m a n d we p h o t o s t a t t h i n g s f o r o t h e r p e o p l e t h a t a r e i n t e r e s t i n g t h a t we f i n d i n m a g a z i n e s o r i n p a p e r s , o r a n y t h i n g l i k e t h a t . We a r e a l w a y s s h a r i n g , i t i s a r e a l s h a r i n g s e s s i o n . A t t h e end o f i t , y o u 128 know, we do i t by Roberts r u l e s , you know, we have old business, new business, and the l a s t t o p i c i s always sharing, what have you got to share? We swap books, we swap clothes, we swap information about stores, and who i s having sales and second hand toy stores, and a l l kinds of things l i k e that. I: Sounds good... R: Oh, i t i s r e a l l y wonderful, r e a l l y , r e a l l y wonderful, r e a l l y great group of g i r l s . I: It would r e a l l y be a support... R: Absolutely a support, and i f we are t i r e d , we j u s t t e l l the other person or whatever, and we also know the other persons c h i l d r e n w e l l enough i n t h e i r homes are very f a m i l i a r to our children, that was the idea of the whole thing, that i f say J. has to go and do something with the public health nurse, she knows that she can drop her kids here on the drop of a hat and I can do that to her or whoever els e needs any support or anything l i k e that or medical, some of these g i r l s are nurses and we phone them in the middle of the night and bug them, you know. They have gone over diseases, the nurses have helped us out with a l l those things, they have s t r a i g t e n e d us on a l l childhood diseases, given us l i t t l e quick reference sheets, you know. Things l i k e that and we have a l l t r i e d 1 2 9 to pool our resources as much as p o s s i b l e and helped each other and be a great support system. 130 

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