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The construction of masculinity: interviews into the experiences of men Murphy, Lawrence James 1995

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THE CONSTRUCTION OF MASCULINITY: INTERVIEWS  INTO THE EXPERIENCES OF MEN by  LAWRENCE JAMES MURPHY B.Sc,  A THESIS  The U n i v e r s i t y  of  Toronto,  1986  SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF  THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS in THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES Counselling  Psychology  WE ACCEPT THIS THESIS TO THE REQUIRED  THE UNIVERSITY  STANDARD  OF BRITISH  July ©Lawrence  AS CONFORMING  COLUMBIA  1995  James M u r p h y ,  1995  In presenting this thesis in partial fulfilment  of the requirements for an advanced  degree at the University of British Columbia, I agree that the Library shall make it freely available for reference and study. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes may be granted by the head of my department  or  by his or  her  representatives.  It  is understood that  copying or  publication of this thesis for financial gain shall not be allowed without my written permission.  Co  Department of ^O^LuDQ The University of British Columbia Vancouver, Canada Date  DE-6 (2/88)  hYCUoLMX  i i  ABSTRACT  The p u r p o s e o f experience of group of  of  the  lived  this  being male  white middle  literature  As  that the  meaning of  was t o  from the  class  reveals  experience of  address  study  investigate  perspective  heterosexual  a dearth  being male.  of  This  the  the  study  experience of  was t o  delve  being male,  method  analyzed for of  themes.  F i v e men  This  set  included:  responsibility, of  uncertainty  about  of  expectations  conflicting the  p e r c e i v e d as one o f  safety  resulting  Colaizi's  12 m a j o r  themes was t h e n  and c o n f i d e n c e  experiences  the  of  were  semistructured  common t h e m e s .  a n a l y s i s produced  the  and  three  returned  to  validation.  Themes  part  to  a  w a s c o n d u c t e d w i t h e a c h man a n d t h e  transcriptions  Columbia. A  into  interview  that  the  lack. aim of  men f o r  review  begins  from B r i t i s h  the  a  research into  recruited  minor  of  men. A  study  p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l method was e m p l o y e d .  (1978)  the  a man's  and w e l l  role  rules  the  of  and  of  competence;  expectations, behaviour,  victimizers;  role  is  being of  economic  to  take  others.  and  and t h e  being feeling  responsibility  for  iii  T A B L E O F CONTENTS  Abstract  i i  Acknowledgements  v  Dedication CHAPTER  I.  Purpose of  vi INTRODUCTION the  1  Study  10  Definitions CHAPTER  II.  11 REVIEW  OF RELATED L I T E R A T U R E  13  Two P a r a d i g m s  13  On Men and M a s c u l i n i t y  19  Summary  33  CHAPTER  III.  METHODOLOGY  34  Bracketing  37  Procedure  45  Limitations CHAPTER  and A s s u m p t i o n s  I V . RESULTS  50 52  M a j o r Themes  52  M i n o r Themes  71  CHAPTER V . DISCUSSION  75  Restatement of  75  Purpose  Summary and D i s c u s s i o n o f  Results  76  Implications  for Counselling  117  Implications  f o r Future Research  120  iv  Conclusion  122  REFERENCES  125  APPENDICES  A. Advertisement t h a t appeared a t SFU & UBC Campuses and i n Newspaper  133  B. P a r t i c i p a n t Consent Form  134  C. Questions t o P a r t i c i p a n t s  136  D. L e t t e r t h a t accompanied Summary  t h e Thematic 138  E. Thematic Summary sent t o Co-Researchers.... 140  V  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I wish to five me,  acknowledge  men who s h a r e d o f and w i t h o u t  exist.  whom t h i s  feedback,  p r o j e c t when t h e I wish to members, Dur. Dr.  t h e m s e l v e s and t h e i r  T h e i r enthusiasm,  through t h e i r  going  extend  my d e e p e s t g r a t i t u d e  research  my t h a n k s  t o my  and this  committee  Alison Rice, to  whose e n c o u r a g e m e n t , subject  and D r .  Du-Fay  t h a n k my s u p e r v i s o r ,  keen i n t e r e s t  i n the  complete  p r o j e c t with a sense of  this  to  with  tough.  I would l i k e  M a r v Westwood,  stick  the  not  interviews  h e l p e d me t o  D r . Marv Westwood,  Especially,  lives  s i m p l y would  both i n the  got  to  matter  guidance  a l l o w e d me dignity  and  to and  pride. I would a l s o Hallett. calm. needed  to  t h a n k my w i f e ,  H e r p r a c t i c a l a s s i s t a n c e was  Her l o v e to  like  carry  and s u p p o r t g a v e me t h e through.  Rebecca  a great  source  confidence  I  of  DEDICATION  F o r my  father,  whose c o u r a g e and  determination  h a v e h e l p e d me t o what to  it  know  c a n mean  be a man.  1  C h a p t e r One Introduction What i s  it  l i k e t o be a man t o d a y ? A w h i t e man. A  s t r a i g h t man. A man w i t h an e d u c a t i o n . T h e k i n d o f man who,  i n the  not so d i s t a n t p a s t ,  was t h e man who was  q u i z z e d o r i n t e r v i e w e d o r q u e s t i o n e d by t h e scientists normal  of  (cf.  the  day,  Gilligan,  thoughts,  beliefs  thoughts,  beliefs,  social  i n o r d e r t o d e t e r m i n e what was 1987).  The k i n d o f man whose  and d e s i r e s  were c l a i m e d t o be  and d e s i r e s  of  "Mankind".  who was t h e n c o m p a r e d t o women, t o b l a c k s , homosexuals,  i n order to t r y to  T h e man  to  l e a r n what i t  was wrong w i t h t h e m . T h o s e o t h e r s .  What i s  the  was  it  like  that to  be t h a t man t o d a y ? This  r e s e a r c h grew o u t my i n t e r e s t  questions. desire  A n d b e i n g a man, i t  to explore,  masculinity. Arts  thesis  for myself,  So o f t e n  it  is  the  also the  in  these  grew o u t o f experience  case that  and a p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t  T h i s work i s  no  the Master  f o r the  student.  exception.  The i s s u e o f what i t  means t o be a man  is  s o m e t h i n g t h a t many men t o d a y a r e c o n f r o n t i n g Doyle,  of  i n c o u s e l l i n g p s y c h o l o g y has b o t h a  professional  1987;  a  1983;  Keen,  1991;  Kimmel,  1987;  (Brod, Levant,  of  2  1992a, 1992b). The  d e f i n i t i o n of m a s c u l i n i t y ,  along  w i t h the behaviours t h a t i n h e r e i n such a d e f i n i t i o n , has come under i n c r e a s i n g s c r u t i n y i n the l a s t  30  y e a r s . T h i s d e f i n i t i o n has undergone some q u i t e dramatic changes w i t h i n the l a s t decade e s p e c i a l l y t h i s has  l e f t many contemporary men  i t means t o be a man  and  confused about what  (Kimmel, 1986). Levant (1992a), i n  h i s b r i e f i n t r o d u c t i o n t o the S o c i e t y f o r the P s y c h o l o g i c a l Study Of Men that  "to many men,  a man  today i s one  and M a s c u l i n i t y , suggests  the q u e s t i o n of what i t means t o of the most p e r s i s t e n t  i s s u e s o f t h e i r l i v e s " (p.  be  unresolved  75).  Kimmel (1987) attempts t o put these changes i n an h i s t o r i c a l frame. He crises  introduces  us t o two  previous  i n m a s c u l i n i t y , the f i r s t i n England d u r i n g  the  p e r i o d 1688-1714 f o l l o w i n g the G l o r i o u s R e v o l u t i o n ,  and  the second i n the U n i t e d S t a t e s o f America f o l l o w i n g the c l o s i n g of the American f r o n t i e r i n the l a t e century.  19th  In each case he shows t h a t the i s s u e of  m a s c u l i n i t y became a focus of the d i s c o u r s e o f time, and t h a t as a r e s u l t men  the  began t o change t h e i r  a t t i t u d e s towards, and b e l i e f s about, the predominant definitions  o f m a s c u l i n i t y . In a very thorough review  of the a v a i l a b l e l i t e r a t u r e on gender r o l e s i n each o f  3  these  times,  developed  Kimmel demonstrates  in  men's  happening i n and b e l i e f s that  response to about  men o n l y  masculinity  attitudes  towards  changes i n  femininity.  began to  and t h e  how t h e  That  confront  impact  on them as men, when women's  masculinity activity  for  the  b y women  most  (Seidler,  is,  cite  of  themselves  only  Rodin,  Women's e n t r a n c e  world  into  this  1960's challenged not  but  masculinity  his  put  it  masculinity  of  itself.  had  their  re-examination  1989).  wave o f  of  such  Contemporary have a f f e c t e d  of  different  men's  ways.  of  into  what  (Gerson,  & Striegel-Moore,  particular just  men's  world jobs  As M i s h k i n d e t  al.  of  and  1986; 1986).  work  of  his  (1986)  occupation,  in  power, more  " w h e r e a s o n c e a man c o u l d b e a s s u r e d by v i r t u e  To  been  men's work  Silberstein,  the  broadly  towards  i m p a c t e d by women's e n t r a n c e  been c a l l e d the  of  definitions  a s men a n d a s m a s c u l i n e h a s  significantly  Mishkind,  definitions  recent  a variety  demonstrates  one e x a m p l e , men's u n d e r s t a n d i n g  themselves  has  in  he  attitudes  change.  f e m i n i s m has had consequences t h a t views  were  attitudes  present  has been t h e  masculinity  those  o w n e x p e r i e n c e s a s women b e g a n t o The i m p e t u s  that  women's  the  that  changes  of  interests,  4  or c e r t a i n personality opt  f o r the  same r o l e s "  What t h i s relational  the  suggests  construct  r e l a t i o n to of  characteristics, (p. is  that  femininity.  many women now  555). that  is  masculinity  actively  This  is  1986,  1987;  Levant,  contrasts  with previous  portrayed  it  as  development,  a central point  Pleck,  1981).  we a r e  looking at  masculinity, defined  1992a;  1983;  specific  in this  a man's (cf.  form o f m a s c u l i n i t y  study,  may a l s o be v i e w e d  i n context of  and  that  i n t o w h i c h a l l men grew  And t h e  i n much  1989)  views o f m a s c u l i n i t y of  in  (Doyle,  Seidler,  a n a t u r a l component  a vessel  a  negotiated  c o n t e m p o r a r y work on m a s c u l i n i t y  Kimmel,  is  white as  heterosexual  developing  homosexuality  that  and b e i n g  and b l a c k  masculinity. Rutherford  (1988)  masculinity defines problematic.  argues  itself  that  by d e f i n i n g  He s u g g e s t s t h a t  savage, & Davis, the  of  others.  Thus,  limited in intellect 1992),  the  then,  means  to  deny,  to  others  we t h e n u s e  the  as  in  feel  our  b l a c k man becomes  and a b s e n t o f  homosexual  woman weak and c o m p l i a n t .  heterosexual  what we men do n o t  comfortable with i n ourselves, definitions  white  is  s e e n as  soul  (Hunter  a pervert,  To be an a c c e p t a b l e  oppose,  a  these others.  man,  Men e n d  5  up h a v i n g a g r e a t  deal at  differentiate  themselves  men"  1986),  (Kimmel,  differentiate (1988)  both from e f f o r t s  as w e l l  as  efforts  A significant masculinity it  is  not  is  to  f r o m b l a c k men. men's  made t o  t h a n by what i t  is  (Herek,  That i s ,  behave  by m a i n t a i n i n g o u r d i s t a n c e specifically  behaviours,  as much as  as m a n l y .  by l e a r n i n g n o t t o  that  be women" this  (Herek,  we a c c e p t  this  i m p a c t o f women's  by what  Seidler, to  certain  are  1986,  p.  it  helps  571).  For i f  us t o  take  make  into  masculinity  (or indeed i n  w h i c h women do n o t d o ,  c l e a r l y when women b e g i n t o  female  be men p r i m a r i l y  entrance  i n l a r g e measure  by b e i n g t h a t  that  (p.13).  argument,  t r a d i t i o n a l l y male a r e n a s .  measure)  is  In  has p r o d u c e d a m a s c u l i n i t y  If  f o r us  1986;  b e h a v i n g i n ways t h a t  "terrifyingly fragile"  defined  be a man.  from t h i s  from  "Boys may l e a r n t o  (1987) v i e w ,  the  to  others,  those o r i e n t e d towards  is  sense of  these  as men we grow up l e a r n i n g how  activities,  Kaufman's  power  as much, p e r h a p s m o r e ,  1989).  defined  social  means  arises  to Rutherford  define  h i d e what i t  issue that  defined  to  men h a v i n g  suggest that  results  "having  f r o m b o t h women and h o m o s e x u a l  and w h i t e  themselves  goes on t o  stake,  on p r e v i o u s l y  is any then male  6  roles,  jobs,  and b e h a v i o u r s  challenge  to masculinity  anything,  there  masculinity.  is  This  men's r e s i s t a n c e Lee,  1987;  issue  arises  describe men.  doing research it  will  lives  (1988)  has  and s e x u a l i t i e s  masculine p r o d u c e us need o f  characteristics Eisler  (1976),  themes o f being  Connell, &  be p o s s i b l e  the  aware how  of  as  sexual  there  (p.  to  being  say:  heterosexual  which can define  others,  but  fails  material that  when and  doesn't  are  (a)  describes  (David & Brannon,  O'Neil,  f o r example,  and c o m p e t i t i o n  the  us  subjects or a category  of masculinity  masculinity  to  in  22).  is  1991;  the  f o r men  their  following  1982;  states not  oriented,  Pleck,  that  being  i n d i v i d u a l i s t i c and u n e m o t i o n a l ,  success  some o f  into masculinity,  i d e n t i t i e s . . . O u r language  & Blalock,  Brannon  least  d e a l w i t h o u r own h e t e r o s e x u a l i t y  a label  Of c o u r s e ,  at  do  define  (Carrigan,  i n h e r i t e d a language  we h a v e t o  a deep  women c a n i n d e e d  i n r e l a t i o n to  I n w r i t i n g I have become men have  like  1986).  experiences  Rutherford  If  feminism l i e s  o f whether  their  itself.  feel  no s p a c e w i t h i n w h i c h t o  to  of  will  a l s o s u g g e s t s where  Kimmel,  In terms  this  the  and (d)  1976;  1981). four  feminine, (c)  the  being being  (b)  7  aggressive.  Interestingly,  all  four of  be s e e n a s ways o f b e i n g t h a t a r e unfeminine.  That i s ,  as u n f e m i n i n e ways o f  us,  as men, d i s t a n t  identities  the  advantage  definition  is  and i n t h e ways t h a t  from o u r s e l v e s  advantage? R u t h e r f o r d of  t h e y c a n a l l be c o n s t r u e d  form o f d e f i n i t i o n a r e i n  1987)  fragmented  in  being.  The d a n g e r s o f t h i s (Kaufman,  can  stereotypically  a l t h o u g h t h e s e themes  m a s c u l i n i t y c a n be e x p r e s s e d ,  fragility  t h e s e themes  (Seidler, (1988)  (Ochberg,  1989).  maintains p a t r i a r c h a l  it  keeps  1987),  our  What t h e n i s  the  suggests that  i n t h e way t h a t  its  the  a large  lack  part  of  power s t r u c t u r e s .  It  makes men a n d m a s c u l i n i t y d i f f i c u l t t o p i n down a n d thus  complicates  efforts  to describe the  what m i g h t be wrong w i t h t h e  s y s t e m as  sources  it  stands.  of When  t h o s e who i n h e r i t t h e power a r e h i d d e n f r o m v i e w , difficult Indeed,  to  it  e n t i t l e d to  h o l d them a c c o u n t a b l e f o r what t h e y  will  it  is  do.  e v e n be d i f f i c u l t f o r t h o s e who a r e  t h e power t o  acknowledge t h a t  anything  is  wrong. A further Rutherford  issue  above.  is  that of  Seidler  (1989)  the c o n s o l i d a t i o n of p a t r i a r c h a l men's  language,  as  n o t e d by  suggests that power h a s  part  of  involved  " a c q u i r i n g a s e n s e t h a t we c a n s p e a k f o r a l l "  (p.  8  2).  He w o u l d a l s o  men.  agree t h a t  For although i t  patriarchal  allows  power i t  this  is  for the  "has made i t  problematic for consolidation of  h a r d f o r us  d i s t i n g u i s h p a r t i c u l a r masculine voices  or  to  experiences"  (p.2). This science  s i t u a t i o n has b e e n e x a c e r b a t e d by a  that  neglected psychology  the  has  s t u d i e d men as M a n k i n d a n d  experiences  specifically,  o f women ( M o r g a n , it  social  so 1981).  In  has b e e n e x a c e r b a t e d by a  p a r a d i g m t h a t viewed m a s c u l i n i t y and f e m i n i n i t y  as  natural  u n p r o b l e m a t i c s t r u c t u r e s and s o d i d n o t  leave  room t o  question the  1981).  s t a t u s quo ( K i m m e l ,  The q u e s t i o n may a r i s e  is  sciences,  f o r so  a good q u e s t i o n , The p r e s e n t  c a l l e d men's  study i s  Brod  Men's s t u d i e s corrects  the  traditional  (1987)  deserves  is  the It  an a n s w e r .  a r e l a t i v e l y new a r e a  chapter has t h i s  'The Case F o r to  say:  a r g u e s t h a t w h i l e women's e x c l u s i o n o f women f r o m  studies  the  c a n o n c a u s e d by a n d r o c e n t r i c  scholarship's generic  part of  In h i s  given that  h a v e f o c u s e d on men.  a n d one t h a t  studies.  Men's S t u d i e s ' ,  long,  Pleck,  as t o what good t h e r e  i n c o n d u c t i n g a s t u d y s u c h as t h i s , social  1986;  human,  elevation the  o f jnan as m a l e t o man as  implications of  this  fallacy  9  for  our  understanding  unrecognized. traditional as  the  from  of  seemingly  While  consideration  fact  what  The o v e r g e n e r a l i z a t i o n  what, but  if  not  only  anything,  also precludes  specific  male  paradigm  for  Brod's  point  about  is  truly  of  In  vision  obscured from our  background,  the  latter  being...too  much i n  the  are  to  than  treating  are  of  humanity  a  as  a  universal  40). men a s  and  by b e i n g  too  "if  Mankind, the  far  obscured from our  foreground"  human  masculinity  (p.  women a n d m e n ,  men.  understanding  rather  we h a v e e x c l u d e d b o t h  man  excludes  generic  generic  experience  seems c l e a r .  generic  men qua  to to  our  study  experience, human  unique  from male  the  of  systematically  distorts is  largely  men,  scholarship's treatment  human n o r m i n  experience  men h a v e g o n e  (Morgan,  in  former the  vision  by  1981,  p.  men  back  94). What in"  (Morgan,  research than  is  that  necessary is  to  1981, p.108). treats  We n e e d t o  masculinity  Connell,  & Lee,  "bring engage  in  men a s g e n d e r e d i n d i v i d u a l s  a s M a n k i n d . We n e e d t o  brings  literally  itself  1987).  engage  into  in  focus  research (Carrigan,  rather that  10  One way t o q u a men w o u l d  deal with this  be t o  return to  desire the  men a s M a n k i n d a n d d e c o n s t r u c t into  gender  over  the  and m a s c u l i n i t y  last  30 y e a r s  communication, break to  July,  new g r o u n d  in  (A.  the  in  o n men  that  of  took  insights  developing  personal  Another  present  light  have been  Rice,  1993).  focus  literature  it  that  to  is  to  as t h i s  attempt  study  to  attempts  do.  Purpose of  The  Study  The p u r p o s e  of  this  study  a phenomenological  approach  Rossman,  experience  1989)  perspective the  of  the five  white,  Vancouver area i n The a r e  value.  the  s e v e r a l ways  is  to  understand,  (Colaizzi, of  using  1978; M a r s h a l l &  being male  from  h e t e r o s e x u a l men l i v i n g early in  which  such research i s  there  is  a dearth  of  research into  experience of  being  a man. T h i s  is  a void  back  some o f  doing men,  so,  in  the  cloth  Third,  in  exploring  that  hides  (Brod,  power 1987;  exploring  of  the  Kaufman,  masculinity  that  masculinity its  revealing masculinity  we r e d u c e t h e  patriarchy  in  in  1990's.  First,  be a d d r e s s e d . S e c o n d ,  the  nature.  we And  to  pull in as  of  1987; Morgan, and men's  the  needs  and o u r s e l v e s  institution  of  1981).  experience  we  11  allow  f o r the  possibility  o f men h e a l i n g  I n u n d e r s t a n d i n g how we have come t o a r e and t h e choices  impact t h a t  have  had on o u r s e l v e s  may b e g i n t o  r e p a i r some o f  have e x p e r i e n c e d from  those,  often  and g r o w i n g .  be t h e  men t h a t  unconscious,  and t h o s e a r o u n d u s ,  the  we  fragmentation  and i n s o d o i n g n a r r o w t h e  we  that  we  distance  ourselves.  Definitions For the definitions  purposes were  Masculinity. necessarily their  of  The d e f i n i t i o n vague  their  and t h e i r  fears.  what t h e y  take  present  study,  the  following  used:  so  as  own m a s c u l i n i t y t o  may i n v o l v e  the  roles  to  of masculinity allow the  arise  to  their masculinity  in is  be t h e i r m a s c u l i n i t y , i n turn defines  interviews.  or t h e i r  What I am i n t e r e s t e d  asserts  that  reality,  we a c t i v e l y  how men  organize  our perceptions  Maracek,  1988).  not  as  something  In t h i s that  is  the  who t h e y  meanings  and e x p e r i e n c e " sense,  of  This  define  and i n what ways are.  "rather than p a s s i v e l y  construct  is  relationships  The C o n s t r u c t i o n o f M a s c u l i n i t y . C o n s t r u c t i v i s m i s approach that  study  men's u n d e r s t a n d i n g s  during the  and g o a l s ,  in this  that  an observing  f r a m e and  (Hare-Mustin &  masculinity  w i t h i n men w a i t i n g  is to  conceived express  of  12  itself  b u t r a t h e r as  a factor that  both the  individual  contrast  t o what J o s e p h P l e c k  role  identity  develops  as  it  personality.  is  context—construct. (1981) has  paradigm i n which the  identity such,  and h i s  out of  conceived  an i n n a t e of  we—and h e r e we r e f e r s  as  This  termed the  individual's psychological  an e m e r g e n t  is  to  in  male  sex  masculine need,  part of  a  and  male's  13  C h a p t e r Two Literature This focusing  chapter presents on w h i t e , It  paradigms of  masculinity,  followed  gender  by a b r i e f  the role  look at  the  literature  heterosexual  begins with a look at  and t h e  and m a s c u l i n i t y  a review of  middle-class,  masculinity.  paradigm,  Review  gender  two  opposing  role  identity  s t r a i n paradigm. This  is  some e a r l y m a t e r i a l on men  and a r e v i e w o f  the  current  literature  on men. As O ' N e i l  (1982)  masculine mystique,  did in his  s e m i n a l work on  we c a n i d e n t i f y  three  i n f o r m a t i o n on men and m a s c u l i n i t y : (b)  non e m p i r i c a l a r t i c l e s  (c)  empirical research.  This  the  present  continues  study  fits,  (a)  and c h a p t e r s third  sources  popular  of  books,  and b o o k s ,  category, to  the  be o f  a  into  and which  limited  quantity.  Two P a r a d i g m s The g e n d e r  role  identity  p a r a d i g m "assumes  people  have  an i n n e r p s y c h o l o g i c a l  gender  role  identity,  'inherent' they  need  is  embrace t h e i r  met  and...the is  need t o  have  extent to which  d e t e r m i n e d by how  t r a d i t i o n a l gender  role"  that a this  completely (Levant,  14  1992b, p.381). P l e c k (1987) suggests t h a t t h e o r i g i n s o f t h i s t h e o r y a r e c o n t a i n e d i n t h e work o f Terman and Miles  (1936), wherein they suggested t h a t t h e r e i s a  s e t o f normal male and female t r a i t s and t h a t , t o t h e degree t h a t a person possesses these t r a i t s , t h a t man o r woman i s normal. Deviants c o u l d t h e r e f o r e be determined i n p a r t by t h e i r r e l a t i v e l a c k o f normal male ( f o r men) o r female  ( f o r women) t r a i t s .  Kimmel  (1986) s t a t e s t h a t "the s e x - r o l e paradigm p o s i t s a h i s t o r i c a l l y i n v a r i a n t model, a k i n d o f s t a t i c container  sex-role  i n t o which a l l b i o l o g i c a l males and females  are f o r c e d t o f i t " .  The degree t o which one f i t s  t h i s mold, t h e r e f o r e , becomes a s i g n i f i c a n t  into  determinant  o f one's mental h e a l t h . F o r men who do not f i t i n t o t h e container,  t h e r e s u l t may be homosexuality,  brutality  towards women, o r h y p e r m a s c u l i n i t y , t h i s l a t t e r term referring  t o men who evidence "exaggerated, extreme  masculine behaviour as a defense a g a i n s t unconscious feminine i d e n t i f i c a t i o n " 31). As Levant  (their)  (Pleck,  (1992b) notes, " t h i s paradigm  1987, p. springs  from t h e same p h i l o s o p h i c a l r o o t s as t h e ' e s s e n t i a l i s t ' or  ' n a t i v i s t ' view o f sex r o l e s - - t h e n o t i o n t h a t t h e r e  i s a masculine invariant"  'essence' t h a t i s h i s t o r i c a l l y  (p.381).  15  Pleck  (1987)  traces  w i t h Terman and M i l e s , development decline the  f r o m 1945  i n the  theory's  last  to  1970,  and f i n a l l y  twenty-five  its  attitudes  years.  to  conceptual role  developments  s t r a i n paradigm  proposes  He s u g g e s t s  p r o b l e m s as  roles"  (p.  was P l e c k ' s  (Levant,  37).  (1981)  1992b).  that of  a  because  a n d new One o f  these  own g e n d e r  This  paradigm  that:  gender r o l e s that  the  a r e c o n t r a d i c t o r y and  are high;  leads  to  that leads  inconsistent;  p r o p o r t i o n o f p e r s o n s who v i o l a t e  roles  that v i o l a t i o n of  gender  c o n d e m n a t i o n and n e g a t i v e  people to  gender r o l e s  consequences certain  over conform to  f o r males  has more  aggression)  roles  gender  them;  roles  that  severe  than f o r females;  gender r o l e t r a i t s  gender  consequences;  a c t u a l or imagined v i o l a t i o n of  violating  p.  its  "not s o much b e c a u s e  internal  about sex  origins  theoretical  new c o n c e p t u a l a n d r e s e a r c h d e v e l o p m e n t s  social  ( s u c h as  and t h a t  male  c a n de d y s f u n c t i o n a l ( L e v a n t ,  1992b,  380).  Garnets as  paradigm from i t s  through i t s  demise o c c u r r e d  d e t a i l e d c r i t i q u e of of  this  and P l e c k  (1979)  "a d i s c r e p a n c y between  the  define real  gender r o l e  self  and t h a t  strain part  16  of the i d e a l s e l f concept t h a t i s c u l t u r a l l y  associated  w i t h gender" (p. 278). Levant (1992b) argues t h a t , i n c o n t r a s t t o the gender r o l e i d e n t i t y paradigm, the gender r o l e s t r a i n paradigm " s p r i n g s from t h e same r o o t s as s o c i a l c o n s t r u c t i o n i s m "  (p. 380). I t  acknowledges t h a t gender r o l e s are not s t a t i c and a h i s t o r i c a l , but r a t h e r are "the product o f gender r e l a t i o n s t h a t are h i s t o r i c a l l y and constructed"  socially  (Kimmel, 1986, p. 520). I t a l s o suggests  t h a t gender r o l e s are imposed upon i n d i v i d u a l s as they develop a c c o r d i n g t o the p a r t i c u l a r norms and s t e r e o t y p e s o f the c u l t u r e , r a t h e r than b e i n g a p r e e x i s t i n g i n h e r e n t q u a l i t y i n t o which i n d i v i d u a l s grow (Levant,  1992b).  Kimmel (1986) c r i t i c i z e s the gender r o l e  identity  paradigm f o r i t s i n a b i l i t y t o acknowledge t h e e x t e n t t o which the content o f men's and women's gender r o l e s i s r e l a t i o n a l , and the degree t o which "the d e f i n i t i o n o f e i t h e r depends upon the d e f i n i t i o n o f the o t h e r " (p. 520-521). He argues t h a t the r o l e , the "laundry l i s t o f behavioural c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s "  (p. 521) t h a t are  a s s o c i a t e d w i t h the r o l e , n e i t h e r resembles the enactment o f these r o l e s , nor g i v e s us any c l u e s as t o what the e x p e r i e n c e o f the r o l e might be l i k e . In  17  addition,  the  ahistorical  construction of  truth,  "minimizes  the  role  the  extent to  gender  relations  of  more p o w e r f u l g r o u p , men, become  the  ones,  whereas t h o s e o f  become  associated  "reproduces (p.  a r e b a s e d on power  as  the  less  very problem i t  " (p.  which  521).  the  Traits  desirable  powerful group,  w i t h weakness.  The p a r a d i g m seeks to  women,  itself  understand"  521). In c o n t r a s t ,  historical which i t s It  the  static  constructivist  view of m a s c u l i n i t y , definition,  rejects  static  the  the  and t h e  necessity  and t h e  allows  changes  experiences  justification  has  f o r the  an  through  o f men,  f o r the maintenance  form o f m a s c u l i n i t y t h a t  ideological  view  of  move.  a  provided  status  quo b e t w e e n  men and women and f o r men's c o n t i n u e d d o m i n a n c e  of  women  (Pleck,  opening  up o f  new a r e a s  1987).  Carrigan, theory  as  of  conception  assertion  that  of  people  similar  to  allows  and L e e  of  role  sex-role  distinguish  and what t h e y  i n any way. literature  in fact  do"  above.  1986).  criticize  several  between t h e  K i m m e l ' s (1986)  f o r the  (Kimmel,  (1987)  They i d e n t i f y  using the  "the  it  empirical research  Connell,  a whole.  consistently  Finally,  problems  in  First  their  does  is  not  expectations (p.  role  77),  made  a  point  They f u r t h e r  argue  18  that  "the  abstract their  result view  of  of  using the  the  situations,  role  a concrete  them"  (p.  it.  'male  sex r o l e '  does not  isolate  a  'role'  that  and Thompson  (1986)  ,  impossible  to  masculinity" Pleck a recent role  (p.  study,  theory.  'male  role'  to  It  is  general study  It  refer what  reviewed  below  role  us t o  impinge  the  idea of  Carrigan et.  that  the  is  constructs  in  the  introduction  they  are  concept  that  using  "the  that  (p.  of term  prescribe feel  summarizes  men f a c e "  to  criticisms  s o c i a l norms  that  much o f  the  p a r a d i g m moves us being  a correct  conceive of  the  and  the  531).  Their  is  (1986)  enough t o  (1987)  present  research as r o l e .  The  away f r o m  the  form  social  develop  and Thompson's  al  It  about  below.  there  role  "blunt  deal with the  o n men a s t h e y  Pleck  exist.  and  relations  men s h o u l d a n d s h o u l d n o t  strain  and a l l o w s  sexes  the  are  f o c u s e s on m a s c u l i n i t y  of  Perhaps  to  be n o t e d  conception  that  to  a sensitizing  will  reviewed gender  attempt  social expectations  is  they  an  80).  They suggest  and p r o s c r i b e do.  Finally,  one o f  between The  79).  is  between the  differences  not  framework  solve  in  of  constraints this  caveat the  masculinity  culture. concerning  problems  a b o v e . What  is  that  19  interesting of the  that  m a s c u l i n i t y as role  authors of  is  the  and t h e  a good d e a l o f  reviewed below c o n t i n u e s social  and g e n e r a l l y men  t h e work i n t h e  constraints  n e g l e c t s the  as  to  area  focus  on  t h e o r i z e d by  actual  the  experiences  themselves.  On Men and M a s c u l i n i t y One o f deleterious Fasteau's  the  earliest  consequences  (1975)  of  the  focused  gender r o l e  The M a l e M a c h i n e .  t h e male e x p e r i e n c e , at  books t h a t  on  the  strain  was  His assessment  male m a c h i n e ,  is  of  worth quoting  length. The m a l e m a c h i n e i s different  f r o m women,  m e a s u r e u p . He i s work.  He i s  obstacles, the  programmed t o  never  is  being,  his  jobs,  and a l w a y s  most  victory.  designed  tackle  attack problems,  reinforcement  kind of  c h i l d r e n , and men who  functional,  offensive...and  which i s  a special  important  He has  armor  mainly  to  something  seize  positive plating  v i r t u a l l y impregnable. His c i r c u i t s  In f a c t , of  his  internal circuitry  a mystery to  p r i m a r i l y by humans o f  the  h i m and i s opposite  for  override  s c r a m b l e d o r o v e r r u n by i r r e l e v a n t  signals.  don't  are  personal is  maintained sex  (p.  1).  20  F a s t e a u goes on t o b e i n g a male machine: family,  friends,  c h r o n i c l e the  (a)  emotional  (c)  working to  and i l l  (d)  sexual  intimate of  friendships.  the  (b)  point  insecurity;  He a r g u e s  b e i n g a male machine i s  need t o  distance  and i n d e e d o n e s e l f ;  one's c h i l d r e n ; health;  consequences  that  from  never of  knowing  exhaustion  a n d (e)  much o f  the  result  of  the  consequences  of  lack  the  the  pain  socialized  compete.  Fasteau also outlines society  i n terms  of Watergate  and t h e  for  Western  Vietnam war,  w h i c h were t h e n c o n t e m p o r a r y e v e n t s  ,  institutionalized  and p a t r i a r c h y .  Fasteau argues  and f o r t h e  forms o f m i s o g y n y  that  American c u l t u r e  is  that  t h e male gender unhealthy  c u l t u r e as  e a r l y w r i t e r i n the argues  the  institutions  to  operate  that  the  288)  and o u t l i n e  the  role  male  of  sex  being  role the  the  according to  of  individual  (1982)  another  Indeed,  a l l of  its  he  values  They  is  our Western and n o r m s .  c a r r y on t h i s  view  disabled,  men e x p e r i e n c e and  in  of  "propose  a handicapping condition"  problems t h a t  sick,  p r o m o t e d by  male machine  t h e male r o l e . is  as  as  Tolson (1977),  p o i n t where  S k o r d and Schumacher negative effects  role  would a g r e e .  system of the  as w e l l  both f o r the  a whole.  field,  value  institutionalized  the  of  in  (p.  21  rehabilitation. illness,  They e x p l o r e  recovery  successful client's  the  and m a s c u l i n i t y ,  rehabilitation  acceptance of  is  help,  dependence,  and w i l l i n g n e s s  demands a r e  incongruent  role In  chapter the  and c o n c l u d e  study,  "traditional  five  p r e d i c a t e d by  relationship  to  cooperate.  looked at  return to  (p.  the  the  188).  masculine  values  correlational "strong  These masculine  issues and  and b e l i e f s . nature  adherence to  w i t h dependency needs, effective  but  of  for  college relationship  they  study,  traditional  leading to  in  traditional  Although  men t o  more  between  f o u n d was a  their  self-destructive  a  and s o c i a l s u p p o r t  n o n - a l c o h o l i c male  What t h e y  more d i f f i c u l t  in  relationship  between a l c o h o l i s m and adherence t o  191).  of  between m a s c u l i n i t y  masculine attitudes  students"  make i t  present  Tushup and Hackman ( 1 9 9 2 ) ,  males and i n  that  the  acknowledgment  with the  we s h a l l  alcoholic  the  that  help.  Burda, recent  between  (p.288).  surrounding seeking  relationship  cope  acknowledge  they  suggest  gender r o l e s successfully  a l c o h o l use as  coping strategy"  an (p.  may  22  Isenhart relationship alcoholism. outgoing,  between t h e  competent,  because of  the  lack of  he may l e a r n t o  affect  experience  manage t h e  feelings This  suggestion that task  use  of  and to  relationships, expectation and/or  alcohol to  social  improve  situations"  (p.  his  130-131).  and t h a t  affect  that  as men,  t h e y may u s e  they  never  b e i n g human, alcohol  learned to  resonates with Fasteau's  members o f  the  opposite  sex  (1975)  are  given  and S i l v e r s m i t h  (1994)  base t h e i r  beliefs  O'Neil  (1982)  (1982)  roles,  and D a v i d and B r a n n o n ( 1 9 7 6 ) . what he c a l l s which  (a)  environment; situations  the  O'Neil  M a s c u l i n e M y s t i q u e and V a l u e  "shapes m a l e a s s u m p t i o n s ,  and b e h a v i o u r s "  men s h o u l d  to  manage  a b o u t t r a d i t i o n a l m a l e norms on t h e work o f  System,  be  d o i n g t h e m a n a g i n g f o r men.  Isenhart  outlines  the  men a r e t r a d i t i o n a l l y p r o h i b i t e d  do i n f a c t  themselves.  looked at  supposed  confidence,  in interpersonal  from demonstrating  the  "a man i s  and i n c o n t r o l i n  They a l s o argue t h a t  for  also  man who c a n n o t meet t h i s  shyness,  functioning  (1994)  t r a d i t i o n a l male r o l e  They argue t h a t  (and)...for  anxiety,  and S i l v e r s m i t h  (p.  67).  be i n c o n t r o l o f  (b)  This  arise;  system s t a t e s  themselves  avoid expressions  i n which they  expectancies,  (c)  of  and  feeling  focus  that  their and  the  on w i n n i n g ,  23  achieving  and s u c c e e d i n g  i n career matters  maintain high personal worth; of  (d)  m a i n t a i n an  s u p e r i o r i t y i n r e l a t i o n t o women;  w i t h women and o t h e r men; others;  (g)  and b e l i e v e  masculine  ethos that  feminine  counterpart.  (f)  avoid  belief  (1976)  B r a n n o n (1976)  f o u r m a i n themes t o masculinity.  this  the  social  They a r e t h e  intimacy  help  from  s y s t e m and  the  their  The F o r t y - n i n e  argues  that  construction  well  to  attitude  shapes a r e s u p e r i o r t o  I n D a v i d and B r a n n o n ' s Percent Majority,  (e)  avoid seeking  that  it  i n order  there  are  of  known "No S i s s y  Stuff",  "Be a S t u r d y O a k " , "Be A B i g W h e e l " , and " G i v e 'Em Hell".  The No S i s s y  engaging  i n any s o r t  considered women.  feminine  and t o  failure. all  or related  to  the  men f r o m  may be behaviour  (1975)  competitiveness The G i v e  A man must t a k e as  must come o u t  Fasteau's  own.  is  'Em H e l l  the  up e v e r y  a form o f  source  that  men t o  and  be  This  never  challenge  competition  the winner.  assertion  of  The Be a B i g W h e e l  men be s u c c e s s o r i e n t e d  interactions  which they to  behaviour that  s t a n d on t h e i r  theme demands t h a t  treat  of  theme d i s c o u r a g e s  The Be a S t u r d y Oak theme e n c o u r a g e s  distant  accept  Stuff  and  in  t a k e s us  back  socialized  o f much o f m e n ' s p a i n .  theme e n c o u r a g e s  men t o  be  aggressive  24  in t h e i r dealings  with others,  especially  i n w h i c h t h e man wants s o m e t h i n g Eisler  and B l a l o c k  in  f r o m someone  (1991) w o u l d c o n c u r .  d i s c u s s i o n o f m a s c u l i n e gender r o l e s t r e s s note t h a t the  behaviours that  commission o f  c a r r i e d out business.  styles" of  acts,  arenas of  They c o n c l u d e t h a t  combativeness (p.  are  48).  "socially  factors  This  that  experience  sports,  threat  aggressiveness  and  s a n c t i o n e d male  coping  the  1991  article  of  the  interpretable  suggest experiences  that  c a u s e men  (b)  in  and  five  They a r e :  (a)  fear of  of  emotions,  to  f a i l i n g to  being faced with s i t u a t i o n s  (c)  perceiving a  f r o m a woman;  (d)  fear of  intense  competitive  f a i l i n g to  and (e)  be  that  or experiencing  i n another;  enough i n a g i v e n s i t u a t i o n ; live  they  yields  require expression emotions  (MGRS),  the m i l i t a r y  a factor analysis  analysis  stress.  competitive;  their  Having p r e v i o u s l y d e v e l o p e d a measure  investigate  instrument.  In  a r e a p p l a u d e d when  MGRS ( E i s l e r & S k i d m o r e , 1 9 8 7 ) ,  goes on t o  else.  are considered despicable  criminal  i n the  situations  be  fear of  smart  failing  up t o m a s c u l i n e s t a n d a r d s r e l a t i n g t o work and  sexual  adequacy.  problems t h a t stressors.  The a u t h o r s t h e n t r a c e t h e  arise  f o r men f r o m t h e s e  They i n c l u d e  (a)  men's  fears  negative  legacy  of  and attitudes  to  25  towards (c)  women,  (b)  overemphasis  vulnerability heart  attack  problems  (d)  counselling, increased  so c a l l e d T y p e A i l l n e s s e s  and p e p t i c may be They  ulcer,  located  and (e)  such  a host  i n men's  as  of  relationships  state:  Because  men t e n d t o  support  from t h e i r  difficult  i n seeking  on work and c a r e e r ,  to  that  with others.  difficulty  to  prohibitions  deny t h e i r partners,  needs f o r  they w i l l  emotional  find  it  have t h o s e needs m e t .  Thus,  and d i f f i c u l t i e s  emotional  e x p r e s s i v e n e s s make i t  with  difficult  maintain mutually supportive  masculine  f o r men  to  relationships  (p.  56). T h e i r views (1981) there  gender is  role  determine  the  male r o l e  value  with  Pleck's  s t r a i n p a r a d i g m . They c o n c l u d e  other  studies  system.  study they  that  between MGRS and i n men.  have  u n d e r l y i n g assumptions  set  out  to  of  the  traditional  P l e c k and Thompson (1986)  s t u d y men's a t t i t u d e s  In t h e i r  in line  behaviour patterns  A number o f  to  squarely  a strong relationship  dysfunctional  out  fall  towards  the  male  asked a group o f  400  c o l l e g e men  respond to  57 b e l i e f  s t a t e m e n t s a b o u t men's  behaviour.  They found t h a t  the  sex  set role.  expected  i t e m s c o u l d be  broken  to  26  down i n t o  three  underscores respect"  factors:  a status  "men's need t o  (p.  534);  expectations  that  achieve status  and s e l f - r e l i a n t " "that  refers  men s h o u l d a v o i d s t e r e o t y p i c a l l y  attitudes was o n l y neither  to  (p.  in  534).  these three  slightly  supported nor  although  terms  of  with which they might  generally  and,  more i m p o r t a n t l y ,  mean f o r  relation  the  activities men's norm  norm was antifemininity seem t o  suggest  perceived the they  were not  a g r e e d . We a r e  what might  left  be t h e  items norms  wondering  be termed a  norms t o  an  that  toughness  and the  norms,  and  belief  the  This would  the  534);  the  status  something to  to  emotionally  (p.  of  the  norm,  experience  which they  do  of or  adhere.  Moore and N u t t a l l Inventory beliefs  the  rejected,  definable  it  do not  terms  college students  what  t h e s e men i n  to  others'  "reflects  feminine  factors,  rejected.  the  three  In  supported,  norm was s l i g h t l y that,  and  men s h o u l d b e m e n t a l l y ,  factor  and o c c u p a t i o n s "  which  a t o u g h n e s s norm t h a t  and p h y s i c a l l y tough antifemininity  norm  (BSRI;  Bern,  (1981) 1974)  used the  to  assess  about male s t e r e o t y p e s .  individuals instrumental  a l o n g two scale,  scales,  Bern S e x  men's and women's  The BSRI  a masculine  and f e m i n i n e  or  Role  rates or  expressive  scale.  27  One g r o u p o f men and women was a s k e d t o c o m p l e t e BSRI as  t h o u g h t h e y were r a t i n g t h e  t y p i c a l male. A  s e c o n d g r o u p o f men and women was a s k e d t o ideal  m a l e . As w e l l ,  r a t e one o f woman's  either  the  (b)  male,  their  instrumental  ratings  of  t h a n women's  than the  Men r a t e d t h e  "males  (c)  a woman's  Men r a t e d t h e m s e l v e s  instrumental  f o r the  more e x p r e s s i v e  more e x p r e s s i v e  asked  self, (a)  to  or a  Men and  i n s t r u m e n t a l and  t h a n women's;  perceptions  significantly  than  i d e a l male  that  the  were  Men's r a t i n g s  of  i d e a l man were and s l i g h t l y  ratings  of  their  less i d e a l man;  as b o t h more i n s t r u m e n t a l and i d e a l m a l e as  r a t e d by women;  i d e a l man as more e x p r e s s i v e  than themselves.  and  less  The a u t h o r s c o n c l u d e  that  a r e i n d e e d c o n f r o n t e d by c o n t r a d i c t o r y demands  and e x p e c t a t i o n s "  (p.  One s i g n i f i c a n t fact  ideal  the  A l t h o u g h b o t h men and women f e l t  men's  more e x p r e s s i v e  (e)  their  i d e a l m a l e n e e d e d t o be more e x p r e s s i v e  typical  (d)  themselves,  t y p i c a l m a l e as  inexpressive;  rate  g r o u p s o f men were  i d e a l man. The d a t a s u g g e s t t h a t :  women s e e  the  three  the  324). problem with t h i s  study i s  the  t h a t we do n o t know w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e men and  women w o u l d i n t e r p r e t t h e m e a n i n g o f expressiveness,  f o r example,  i n the  items  referring  same way.  It  the to  seems  28  entirely  probable that  expressive in  behaviour,  a woman's  eyes.  dual perception  what, might  f o r a man, w o u l d seem somewhat  One s t r i k i n g e x a m p l e  is  i n the  area of  be  inexpressive  of  this  sort  house work. A l t h o u g h  h u s b a n d s who do h o u s e work may f e e l  that  they  do a  significant  feel  that  their  amount,  wives g e n e r a l l y  husbands  do l e s s t h a n what t h e  However,  the  results  do s u g g e s t t h a t perception  is  that  Particular experiences  of  although there either (1975),  the  change  men's l i v e s  these aspects much l e s s  this  theoretical  work o f  work  their change.  and  their  have a l s o b e e n of  1984).  (1981)  and t h a t  studied,  material  p o p u l a r p o l e m i c a l work l i k e  or the  (Stein,  women a l s o want them t o  aspects of  is  men c l a i m  o f Moore and N u t t a l l ' s  men want t o  of  than  Fasteau's  O'Neil  (1982)  noted  above. Messner  (1987)  explored the  young men's sense o f organized sports.  self  relationship  and t h e i r  He s u g g e s t s t h a t  participation organized  grew i n i m p o r t a n c e i n y o u n g men's l i v e s result  of  the  beginning of  closing this  of  the  century,  the  continued  insistence  in  sports  i n A m e r i c a as  American f r o n t i e r  at  a  the  increasing  b u r e a u c r a t i z a t i o n o f work i n t h e and t h e  between  p o s t - W o r l d War I I  i n America that  to  be  era, a  29  man meant t o  "amount t o  something"  (p.  196).  He  interviews  a number o f men who had s u c c e s s a t  of  levels,  b o t h a m a t e u r and p r o f e s s i o n a l .  of  these interviews  relevant the  to  rule is  the  i n the  few e v e r find  that  sports  success  of  most men a r e by t h e  top"  variety  results  conclusions  up'  that  when  for  narrow...definition reality  (p.  201).  judged i n terms  of  game"  M e s s n e r ' s work s u g g e s t s t h a t p a r t o f men t o d a y  definitions  The  we f i n d  "'set  w o r l d and t h e  reach the is  First,  good as y o u r l a s t  i n a d e q u a c y on t h e result  study.  or worse,  actually  " Y o u ' r e o n l y as Finally,  present  success,  disappointment, success  s u g g e s t a number o f  a  that  very  Second,  we  performance. (p.  199).  any s e n s e  is  of  more t h a n  of masculinity that  of the  are  unachievable. Contemporary males isolated,  and as  l e a r n e d means and i d e n t i t y sports  failures  (achievement do n o t  c r a v e d and n e e d e d :  This of  the  empty,  is  alienated  because the  (p.  validation  p u b l i c worlds  d e l i v e r what  and  socially  seek  i n the  intimate  human b e i n g s  conclusion  men t h a t  feel  through which they  and work)  with other  often  is  connection  of  actually and  unity  208).  b a s e d on t h e  Messner i n t e r v i e w e d .  real In the  experiences interviews  30  they for  talked of a kind of  attraction  the  desire  closeness.  of  sport  is  Messner argues  that  w i t h o t h e r men w i t h o u t which l i m i t emotional  f o r some k i n d o f  connection,  that  the  one c a n work a t  v i o l a t i n g the expression  closeness  masculine  and  norms  encourage  homophobia. Ochelberg career,  and i t s  both f o r the gender  (1987)  l o o k e d a t men's e x p e r i e n c e  relationship  individual  studies.  to  the  ideology  men and f o r t h e  Ochelberg focuses  that  opportunity to them t o  act  in a role,  (p.  t a k i n g the  defensive  careers  if  as  Through h i s we come t o  that  in their  position  of  that  with the  as  then  an allows  fears,  and  themselves  (p.  187).  i n terms  And f u r t h e r , of  allows  and  a  two men o f  that to  a  and  dealing with  t h e i r value  their  men e x p e r i e n c e  "in experiencing  he  He  their  that their  solution. his  study,  selves  b o t h men e s c a p e a more p r i v a t e e x p e r i e n c e  selfhood"  of  that  careers.  careers,  t h e y were i n a r o l e  interviews see  their  "both c o l l e g i a l  175)  role,  discipline  careers  which act  Ochelberg argues  between b e i n g  dispassionate"  roles,  their  escape from t h e m s e l v e s ,  inadequacies. tension  t h e s e men u s e  of  on i n t e r v i e w s  c o n d u c t e d w i t h two men c o n c e r n i n g t h e i r concludes  of  they  as of  "experience  others"  (p.  187).  31  Their actions "ultimately subjugates  a r e an a b d i c a t i o n o f  degrades "the  their  their  subjectivity"  p r i v a t e man t o  the  selfhood  which  (p.  and  187)  p u b l i c one"  (p.  190). In t h e o r e t i c a l behaviour to study  that  terms,  of  of masculinity  Ochelberg r e l a t e s  theorists is  to value  social  injunctions  experiences  cultures. t a k e n as of  If  cultural  delve  assumed the  is  part of  1987,  into to  the  p.  friendships  to  share  case that  the  and  d i m i n i s h male  190),  then  it  is  social  the  cultural  men i n  these  "men's s t u d i e s  actual experiences  friendships  has  critique  subjectivity" i n c u m b e n t on of  the  us  men who  constraints  the  b e t w e e n men has  looked at  through his  He draws a number o f  disclosure,  p u b l i c over  d i s c i p l i n a r y mandate t h e  S h e r r o d (1987)  germane t o  of  the  are  and  injunctions.  The i s s u e o f  male  its  the  constraints  be i m p a c t e d by t h e  cultural  studied.  the  forms t h a t  (Ochelberg, to  it  men's  whose a p p r o a c h t o  p r i v a t e man, and t h e over the  the  work.  of  been  male-  research.  of which  are  self-  men a r e much more  and v u l n e r a b l e  woman t h a n a man. F u r t h e r ,  several  In terms  Sherrod found t h a t  intimate  nature of  own and o t h e r s '  conclusions,  present  the  also  information with  i n studying male-male  likely a and  32  female-female (1985,  cited  be l e s s  friendships, i n Sherrod,  satisfied  less  Sherrod  the  men's  intimacy,  This  suggests  at  offers  is  from  (p.  the basis  male  of males' is  positive  because  f r i e n d s h i p allowed the  that  At the  same t i m e ,  s o much i t s  in  (1987) sports.  based on s h a r e d p u r s u i t s , are consonant  future of  previous eras expression he has t h i s  with  above.  an h i s t o r i c a l  The p r o b l e m w i t h t h e m a l e p a t h t o not  He a r g u e s  interest  about the  he t a k e s  i s s u e which r e v e a l s  intimacy.  221).  t h e m a l e r o l e norms d i s c u s s e d  Sherrod feels  on t h e  He  a r e b a s e d on s h a r e d  on s h a r e d r i s k s , w h i c h e x p e r i e n c e s  friendships  to  another  r e m i n i s c e n t o f what M e s s n e r  a closeness that  certain of  although  intimacy but companionship,  friendships  activities.  It  that,  than  f r i e n d s h i p s a r e based on s h a r e d  men's  is  positive  q u e s t i o n may be t h e wrong o n e .  n o t d i s c l o s u r e b u t commitment" women's  to  f r i e n d s h i p s may be s e e n  s u g g e s t s t h a t men "seek n o t  whereas  less  (1987) t h e n c o n c l u d e s  i n t i m a t e t h a n women's,  perspective,  f o u n d t h a t men t e n d  f r i e n d s h i p s as  f r o m one p e r s p e c t i v e , be  1987)  Cohen and C l a r k  w i t h t h e i r f r i e n d s h i p s t h a n women a n d  t h a t men r a t e t h e i r do women.  Sherrod,  male  perspective  i n which male-  of to  love  and  say:  friendship  p e c u l i a r l y male d e s t i n a t i o n  is but  33  its  rocky, winding,  direct  access of  catharsis,  lonely  intimate  or physical  route.  disclosure,  affirmation,  friendships  progress  slowly  the  intimacy  (Sherrod,  goal  of  Without  the  emotional  male  and h a l t i n g l y 1987,  pp.  toward 236-237).  Summary This  chapter  has  reviewed  i n contemporary r e s e a r c h explored Much o f  literature what  has  into  focusing  the  two m a j o r  masculinity. on men and  been reviewed  points  to  problematic  nature of  certain definitions  masculinity  and t h e i r  deleterious  This  a l s o demonstrates  review  research  into  the  the  experiences of  It  paradigms has  also  masculinity. the of  i m p a c t on many men. dearth of men.  qualitative  34  Chapter Three Methodology This chapter introduces, justification research.  for,  This  is  that  outline This  the  and,  useful  a  S u c h an a p p r o a c h f i t s reasons.  when l i t t l e  is  As t h i s  understand better  analysis  that  men,  explore  experience  o f men l i v i n g t h e  the  a  depths  undertaken  experience,  a p p r o a c h was  of  (Marshall & to from  and as my  u n d e r s t a n d i n g and  i s s u e s o f meaning f o r  I chose a q u a l i t a t i v e  more t h a n a q u a n t i t a t i v e  with the  this  of being male,  i n reaching a depth of addressed  with  in-  these  appropriate  1978).  Further, it,  the  a phenomenological  (Colaizzi,  sections  known a b o u t  r e s e a r c h was  was  of  to  A phenomenological  Rossman,  interest  serves  qualitative,  interviewed  perspective  that  a series  meaning f o r t h o s e b e i n g  the  the  itself.  and when one wants t o  1989).  for  approach i n v o l v i n g s e m i - s t r u c t u r e d  for several  approach i s subject,  finally,  research u t i l i z e s  depth interviews. research  selected  by a s e c t i o n  methodology  phenomenological  provides  the methodology followed  b r a c k e t my b i a s e s  and  constructivist  methodology  approach, i s  perspective  which  because  consonant underlies  35  this  research. Constructivism is  asserts  that  we a c t i v e l y  "rather construct  organize  our  Maracek,  1988).  individuals  in  relationship  femininity,  I  methodology  that  a  that  and  felt  to it  by  is  of  data  the  1986,  that in  data.  the  beyond i s s u e s  issues  as deep as  Denicolo,  1986,  truth.  the  In  originates  of  employ  a  and t h a t  construction  H a v i n g done  so,  forces of  there  philosophical be c o n d u c t e d  of  choice of  "the  nature  empirical  the  of  the  research strategy,  p.154),  in  one's  The i m p o r t a n c e  quantitative  as e x i s t i n g  individuals,  like  o n me t o belief  by  the exists  assumptions  and the  tools  (Pope &  p.157).  far-reaching.  goes  (Hare-Mustin &  through  and a n a l y s i s chosen"  The i m p l i c a t i o n s are  frame  theoretical  constructs  incumbent  research to  collection  Denicolo,  that  constructed  society  other  reflects  the  is  " c o n s i s t e n c y between t h e . . .  underpinning  of  meanings  and e x p e r i e n c e "  a c k n o w l e d g e my p a r t  reality  reality,  masculinity  society,  that  passively observing  Having adopted the  that  me t o  the  perceptions  perspective  and i n  than  an approach  of  of  the  methodology method and  scientific  (Pope & and  paradigm,  methodology,  world,  includes  person"  human e x i s t e n c e ,  and our  truth job  as  chosen  of  whence  is  conceived  researchers  36  is  t o m a i n t a i n an o b j e c t i v e  to  discover  researcher as  this  and t h e  undesirable,  stance i s  truth.  There a r e ,  desirable (1989)  perhaps, the  There i s  for  naive  continue  excuses  It  is  time  objective  reality  is  by t h e  to  acknowledge  a product of  the  selection  of  from r e s e a r c h  influenced  itself.  Thus,  is  i n a research of  through which i t s  as  new  as  of  the  reality  'scientific  17th-century  derived  respondent  But,  belief  any e x c u s e ,  a belief  i n the  1986).  f o r the  such a statement i m p l i e s  created  seen  though, empiricism  psychological that  so-called  human  (p.17).  In c o n t e x t o f  thought  is  disengaged  unabated i n contemporary  intervention  the  understanding  no l o n g e r  realism of  research.  may...be  and  order  argue:  t r u e way o f  method'.  to  between  (Mischler,  had f i n a l l y b e e n a c h i e v e d  this  stance i n  phenomena b e i n g r e s e a r c h e d  P a c k e r and A d d i s o n  that  Interaction  and a v a l u e - n e u t r a l  s e e n as  time  and d i s t a n t  as  they  that  the  "a  a circular  m e a n i n g and t h a t  of  its  method,  meaning  by t h e  interview  part of  discourse  a research  research  question process answer  between i n t e r v i e w e r  are  and  t r y t o make c o n t i n u i n g s e n s e o f  what  37  they  are saying to  each other"  ( M i s c h l e r , 1986,  pp.53-  54). A phenomenological researcher to negotiating far  as  engage w i t h t h e  meanings.  possible  frame o f  approach encourages  to  of  co-researcher  t h e i r way i n t o t h e  their  1986,  encounter  b e t w e e n two i n d i v i d u a l s t h a t  layers  possible  if  questions  is  it  is  if  hopes o f  the  "attempt  as  internal (Pope &  necessary  (Colaizzi,  attempting to  i n the  possible  distance  What i s  o f meaning  one  of  p.155).  interviewees"  Denicolo,  deeper  in  The r e s e a r c h e r s h o u l d  feel  reference  the  is  a  true  can r e v e a l  1978).  This  the  is  not  ask a s t a n d a r d i z e d  c o d i f y i n g the  researcher values  or a "standing-apart-from" his  answers.  above  all  or her  set Nor  a  co-  researchers .  Bracketing It  seems s e l f - e v i d e n t  own p e r c e p t i o n s engagement approach, insofar  eliminate selected  say t h a t ,  o f m a s c u l i n i t y come i n t o  w i t h my c o - r e s e a r c h e r s . I w o u l d be r u e t o  as  to  any e x i s t e d , them.  it  In a  a man, my  p l a y i n my quantitative  a d m i t any b i a s e s  and,  w o u l d be i n c u m b e n t on me  However, t h e methodology  suggests that  as  that  I  my b i a s e s n o t o n l y e x i s t ,  have but  to  38  play a p a r t i n the context of Denicolo, must t h e  the  c o n s t r u c t i o n o f meaning w i t h i n  d a t a and t h e i r  1986).  Tappan  context,  acknowledge (p.248).  his  This  as  born son,  the  (p.17).  but the  of  (1993)  suggests that  He was  is  and p o i n t what  in  i n the  said  the  story  of  his  tears  fact  at  his  the masculine.  This  gender.  If  p u t on h e r p r e t t y certain,  the  case.  interpreted  have b e e n  his  his  but I suspect t h a t  tiny  infant,  a  w i t h my f a t h e r  and a born  of  daughter, focus  been  h a i r ? We c a n n o t  know  this  been  home a n d my m o t h e r w o r k e d w i t h i n . my m o t h e r ,  and  was  i n context  w o u l d have  When I was y o u n g my f a t h e r w o r k e d o u t s i d e  of  new-  a role  i g n o r e d and t h e  t h i n layer of  being  fella"  children,  K a u f m a n ' s c h i l d had b e e n  would her s t r u g g l e  for  actions  at  son  little  that  a manner l i k e most m a l e and f e m a l e  already having his  view"  I now i n t e n d .  "what a s t r o n g  s u r p r i s e d by t h e  world of  also  b e i n g m a l e no d o u b t b e g a n tells  only  and  of  v u l n e r a b l e c h i l d had a l r e a d y b e e n a s s i g n e d place  "not  own p e r s o n a l  he s t a r e d t h r o u g h h i s nurse  (Pope &  i n t e r p r e t e r must  acknowledging  Kaufman  born and,  in its  own p e r s p e c t i v e  My e x p e r i e n c e s birth.  (1990)  t e x t be e n g a g e d  historical  interpretation  the  being  I grew up as  of  the  a child  someone whom I  saw  39  occasionally  i n the  evenings,  He had n o t known h i s  as w e l l  as  father very well  grandfather having fought  i n the  Second World War, and  spend time w i t h both m y s e l f  As a r e s u l t ,  we s p e n t at the  cottage,  spending s e v e r a l  h o c k e y t e a m when I was different  not  months  14.  and as  In t h i s  a feeling  a p a r t i c u l a r l y emotional  assert  their  identity.  between m a s c u l i n e separateness in  that  of  At  as  the  suggestion  was  that  care-takers  separation i n order deep s e a t e d and t h e  t h a t might  leave  to  connection  need  g r o w i n g up was t h a t  or sadness.  fathers  t h e i r primary  i n d e e d was unaware o f  vulnerability  feel  my f a t h e r  for being  and w i t h a c o n c o m i t a n t  emotions  My e x p e r i e n c e emotions,  identity  I  lives.  l e a v e s men w i t h a f e a r o f  relationships,  expressing  This  spent  being.  men who grow up w i t h women as of  a  c o a c h o f my  respect,  I c o n c u r w i t h C h o d o r o w ' s (1978)  must e n g a g e i n a p r o c e s s  as  interests,  the  and u n i n v o l v e d i n t h e i r  I am aware o f  sister.  o r c a m p i n g . He a l s o  f r o m t h o s e men who r e p o r t t h e i r  being distant same t i m e ,  a n d my  l o n g weekends t o g e t h e r  t i m e e n g a g e d w i t h me i n my h o b b i e s including  weekends.  due t o my  so wanted t o  family either  on  engulfed  fear  of  them v u l n e r a b l e . I d i d not  any f e e l i n g s  express  of  L i k e many a d o l e s c e n t s ,  I  was  40  full  of  almost  confidence  (arrogance  some w o u l d s a y )  n o t h i n g c o u l d d i s t u r b me.  As a b o y I remember b e i n g a f r a i d that  and  I m i g h t be a g i r l ,  A l t h o u g h I do n o t s e n s e o f what  it  c l e a r memories  of  any  suggestion  or involved i n g i r l i s h  have memories meant  of  to  of  h a v i n g much o f  be m a s c u l i n e ,  k n o w i n g what  it  things.  I have  meant t o  a  very  not  be  masculine. I r e c a l l getting  into  a fight  when I was  8 . We were i n t h e  both of  needing  us  t u m b l e d I was  to  suddenly  with a  school  be home t o lifted  yard at  eat.  off  of  f a t h e r who was  bellowing:  kitchen table.  the  h i m . As i f the  in  school  s l a p p i n g me o v e r and o v e r  I crept  My m o t h e r was  was my f r i e n d ' s k i t c h e n she  father.  a wall  and  and began t o  a s k e d me i f  tell  conflicts.  remember t h e  me t h a t  home and s a t cooking.  the  The phone  I had b e e n b e a t i n g I had,  fighting  she was  O r some s u c h t h i n g .  details.  at  rang.  When my m o t h e r came b a c k  " J o h n " . When I t o l d h e r t h a t  resolve  time,  "what a r e y o u d o i n g t o my s o n ? "  When he f i n i s h e d  It  lunch  As we r o l l e d a n d  dream I r e c a l l b e i n g t h r o w n up a g a i n s t by h i s  classmate  became not I do  the not  to  up on angry way  to  41  To t h i s didn't she  say  day my m o t h e r c a n n o t u n d e r s t a n d why  something,  either  b e g a n s c o l d i n g me,  when I g o t  one o f my m a l e  any t r o u b l e u n d e r s t a n d i n g . D e s p i t e a l r e a d y u n d e r s t o o d what i t to  to  She i s  ourselves,  intelligent  length  another  At the sexist.  same t i m e ,  connected  to  the  some s o r t  of  truth that  as  to  be  I am a b l e .  respect  I  feel  try  We t a l k  some  I grew up b e i n g  in upsetting  kitchen,  distance or  tremendously  women by t a l k i n g I spoke o f  i n t h e s e comments,  was,  a  f o r reasons  hall  aware  of  some f o r m o f  u n c l e a r , my  I had s e v e r a l  girlfriends,  I was  about  woman's  w i t h no e s c a p e s a v e a  b e d r o o m . As a t e e n a g e r ,  a male.  and a v a r i e t y o f  for  and m o t i v a t e d a n d I  Straight-faced,  being i n the  birthright  lose a fight,  species.  I delighted  superiority  I  t h a t women a r e i n c o m p r e h e n s i b l e  male s u p e r i o r i t y . place  has  about o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p and  and i n t h i s  f r o m men who f e e l part of  8,  a woman whom I have b e e n w i t h  s u p p o r t h e r work i n s o f a r as  o p e n l y and a t  father  friends  being but  meant t o  after  tattletale.  I am m a r r i e d t o nine years.  or  a b o u t what my f r i e n d ' s  h a d done t o me. N o t a s i n g l e  dominated,  home,  I  c l o s e male  and t h o u g h t  friends  neither  of  42  the  reasons  for this  m i g h t have t o It  pay i n o r d e r t o  was n o t u n t i l  w i t h any s e r i o u s training of  nor the  university that  questions  doll. ear.  I it.  I was c o n f r o n t e d  about t h e s e i s s u e s .  During  and i n t h e  H e r r e s p o n s e was t o I felt  hurt,  tell  I s a i d good-bye process  me t o  h e l p he d i d n o t  a belief  blow i t  s i d e w i t h me. He f e l t ,  references  like doll  t h e women a n d men who b e l i e v e d t h a t  seated  beliefs  in that  I believe  predominantly p a t r i a r c h a l  t o men,  feminism,  such  deep  be,  I consider myself  that our s o c i a l  oppressed i n a l l walks o f here,  has b e e n e d u c a t i o n a l ; A n d one o f t h e  things  b r o u g h t me more i n t o u c h w i t h i s  costs  the  a  structure  a n d t h a t women h a v e  has n o t b e e n an e a s y r o a d f r o m t h e r e t o  birthright.  she d i d ,  n e e d t o be c h a l l e n g e d .  p o i n t i n my l i f e ,  and c o n t i n u e t o  friend  or k i d or babe.  and t o  feminist,  her  seated  T h i s was t h e b e g i n n i n g o f my i n t r o d u c t i o n t o  At t h i s  to  o u t my  as  a deep  t h a t women were i n f e r i o r  deserving only of  called  b u t when I t u r n e d t o my m a l e  t h a t my words were an e x p r e s s i o n o f  is  that  f o r a peer c o u n s e l l i n g job at the U n i v e r s i t y  t h e women t h e r e ,  belief,  costs  a c q u i r e and m a i n t a i n  Toronto Sexual Education Centre,  one o f  for  birthright,  been,  life. but  that  It it  it  has  o f my m a l e  43  I will questions  now t u r n t o  that  my e x p e r i e n c e , and c o s t s , the  addressing  I b r o u g h t w i t h me t o  existence of  the  men's movement  lightly  expectations with the  feminist  movement  I saw a t  the  and r e w a r d s .  doing,  doing  (I  that  as  I  I have  felt  the  early as was of  to  unable to being but  on s e v e r a l five  mantle  take  care  r e t u r n t o work,  occasions,  or six,  take  the  a  that  I  left  telling  d e s p i t e the  me  That  o f manhood a t  I  I w o u l d n e v e r be this  rate.  able  My shame  deep. I  feel  confused  a man. I f e e l  about  both the  how I am s u p p o s e d  pleasure  to  act  and s a t i s f a c t i o n  t h o s e a r o u n d me when I am s t r o n g ,  but  I  reality  had an i m p a c t on me t h a t  I was weak.  be  o f my  c a r e o f my m o t h e r and s i s t e r .  underestimate.  t o wear t h e went  take  expectation  When I was y o u n g my f a t h e r  from our v a c a t i o n t o  cannot  the  b a c k down i n a f i g h t ,  and m o t h e r .  he l e f t  do I  a woman whom  ' C r y Me A R i v e r W h i t e B o y ' ) .  sister  hear  I h e a r some i n  am r e m i n d e d o f  of  deny  are  said  not  benefits  P a c i f i c National E x h i b i t i o n wearing  force  In  I do n o t  button that  strong,  the  both  but n e i t h e r  and c o s t s  r e w a r d s as  of  interview.  r e w a r d s and b e n e f i t s  some i n t h e  commensurate  each  b e i n g a man b r i n g s w i t h i t  both expectations  the  several  I a l s o have  of a  as  44  sense of  h a v i n g done s o m e t h i n g w r o n g . L i f e  t o me as  a double-edged  do and damned i f o r my s i s t e r their  I don't.  I do n o t  do n o t e x p e r i e n c e  In r e g a r d s t o work, more t h a n a n y t h i n g e l s e  suggest that  something  same t i m e ,  o f my e x p e r i e n c e  that  that  t o my b e i n g  I r e c a l l as  a child  i n the world to  male.  wanting  be a b l e  to  see  a  I had w i t h a f a m i l y f r i e n d who was  o l d e r a n d b i g g e r t h a n me, convince  in  I do b e l i e v e  are t i e d  I  my w i f e  similar  where my f a t h e r w o r k e d . My m o t h e r r e c o u n t s conversation that  seems  s w o r d , w h e r e i n I am damned i f  b e i n g women. A t t h e  components  often  b u t whom I had b e e n a b l e  I was b i g g e r .  The c o n v e r s a t i o n went  to as  follows: Tracy:  L a w r e n c e , Why a r e y o u s o  Lawrence: T:  I'm a great  Because  I can't  television  clear that  go t o  little  in  station  was  CBL T o r o n t o . CBC i n T o r o n t o where known as  CBLT.  I had a l r e a d y i n t e r n a l i z e d t h e  b e t w e e n b e i n g m a l e and h a v i n g w o r k . grown b e y o n d t h i s employed.  boy.  shoes?  My f a t h e r w o r k e d f o r t h e local  big  B u t L a w r e n c e , why a r e y o u s o  your L:  Because  little?  seems  connection  I feel  by now b u t t h e n a g a i n ,  It  the  that  I  have  I am p r e s e n t l y  45  Procedure Pilot  Studies. Before engaging i n  a number o f the  most  improve  questions  my i n t e r v i e w i n g literature  concern that  skills.  but  hoped t h a t  alleviate  this  The f i n a l  interview  the  a measure of  a  and s e x u a l i t i e s  of  deal with our  structure  (p.  would  own  22).  help  It to  problem. set  of  q u e s t i o n s was a r r i v e d  their  (Pope & D e n i c o l o ,  1986).  interviews  of  for  words  As w e l l ,  were  usefulness of  was g i v e n w e i g h t  allowed  asked for  the  when d e t e r m i n i n g  the  to  their  evident"  respondents  their  questions.  by  so t h a t  becomes  the  at  respondents  answers w i t h exemplars  own p e r s o n a l i n t e r p r e t a t i o n  the  (1988)  "inherited  and m a s c u l i n e i d e n t i t i e s "  "illustrate  about  lives  a  Rutherford's  u s w h e n we h a v e t o  which questions  pilot  was c h o s e n o v e r  because of  determining  the  to  being  a s h e t e r o s e x u a l men we h a v e  heterosexuality was  a l l o w me  a n d f r o m my e x p e r i e n c e s o f  interview  fails  clarify  drawn  language which can define others,  and t o  to  proper,  Questions were  A semi-structured  non-structured  research  s t u d i e s were undertaken  provocative  from the male.  pilot  the  in  feedback  This final  information questions.  46  Co-researchers. who r e s p o n d e d t o  either  Fraser University posters  A l l co-researchers  SFU and t h e  an a d v e r t i s e m e n t  (SFU) newspaper  p l a c e d by t h e  researcher  U n i v e r s i t y of  A p p e n d i x A ) . The p o s t e r the  following  to  heterosexual  around the Columbia  or  Simon to  campuses  of  (see  advertisement  criteria: males  volunteers  i n the  The P e a k ,  British  and t h e  highlighted be w h i t e  were  all  participants  were  between t w e n t y - f i v e  and  thirty-five. The i n t e n t i o n men o r men o f suggest that have  other  races;  i n the  straight  norm,  white  assumption of  men t h a t  it has  My i n t e n t i o n  middle-class  exclude  N o r was  n o r m a l c y on i t s  white  to  the  has  homosexual  intention  experience  experience  Introduction,  as M a n k i n d .  straight  not  o t h e r men do n o t  issues with t h e i r  noted of  h e r e was  to  masculinity  of masculinity. been  been  just  studied  h e r e was  to  h e a d and t o  masculinity  As  this as turn  or  group  the that  approach  as  itself  problematic. E a c h man phoned t h e the  time  right  to  research.  commitment, refuse  to  researcher  and was  issues of  confidentiality,  and  participate  i n any a s p e c t o f  the  Demographic i n f o r m a t i o n about t h e  researcher's  sex,  informed of  age,  sexual  orientation,  his  coeducation,  47  marital this the  status  time.  and p a r e n t s '  I n a l l c a s e s t h e men a g r e e d t o  appropriate co-researchers  were a p p l i e d :  must have e x p e r i e n c e  individual  must be a b l e t o  The I n t e r v i e w . interview of  copies  of  the  form  After  interviews  common t h e m e s ,  which r e f e r r e d to the  each  topic;  a r t i c u l a t e the  (see  each  experience. involved  A p p e n d i x B) a t  i n t e r v i e w and was  about the  of  criteria  in  r o u g h l y two h o u r s . E a c h man s i g n e d  questions the  with the  E a c h c o - r e s e a r c h e r was  a consent  beginning of  the  be p a r t o f  t h e s e men, C o l a i z z i ' s (1978)  individual  one  at  research. In s e l e c t i n g  for  s t a t u s was c o l l e c t e d  form b e f o r e  invited to  the  interview  had b e e n a n a l y z e d ,  a l o n g w i t h comments the  theme  co-researchers.  at  hand,  T h e y were  the ask  any  began.  a summary o f f r o m e a c h man  was  sent to  asked t o  each  read each  the  themes and c h e c k a box i n d i c a t i n g w h e t h e r t h e  fit  f o r them o r n o t .  Comments were a l s o  two  requested,  of  theme and  e a c h c o - r e s e a r c h e r o b l i g e d by i n c l u d i n g many comments. A letter the  accompanied the  co-researchers  as  thematic  summary, i n s t r u c t i n g  t o what was e x p e c t e d  of  them  (see  Appendix D ) . The i n t e r v i e w s interviews  were  i n which the  s e m i - s t r u c t u r e d open co-researchers  were a s k e d  to  48  respond to  a series  of  pre-determined questions  A p p e n d i x C ) . The i n t e r v i e w b e g a n w i t h t h e introductory  s t a t e m e n t : The hope o f t h i s  (see  following research i s t o  understand more f u l l y t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f b e i n g a man i n t h i s c u l t u r e a t t h i s time i n h i s t o r y . Much o f what i s written  today, i n j o u r n a l s , newspapers, and books,  suggests t h a t many men f e e l m i s u n d e r s t o o d .  There a r e  a l s o s u g g e s t i o n s t h a t men a r e confused about what d i r e c t i o n t o take i n t h e i r  lives.  are b o t h e r i n g t o ask t h e o b v i o u s  And y e t few p e o p l e question:  What i s i t  l i k e t o be a man i n t o d a y ' s w o r l d . That i s what I would l i k e us t o l o o k a t today. T h i s was questions, above.  the  by t h e  d e r i v e d from the  Not a l l q u e s t i o n s ,  t h e men, follow  followed  as  of  co-researcher  discourse (Pope  t r a n s c r i b e d and t h e  The  Colaizzi's  (1978)  t r a n s c r i p t s were  gain a general extract  of  were  f o r the  that  is  of  & Denicolo, the  the  studies  however,  Data A n a l y s i s . Each of  on  pilot  t h e method a l l o w s  a line  first  asked of  all  researcher  to  significance  to  1986).  r e s u l t i n g t e x t s were  was  analysed  descriptive  read over several  times,  f a m i l i a r i t y with the m a t e r i a l ,  significant  of  mentioned  interviews  framework o f  series  s t a t e m e n t s t h a t were  based  research. first then  evident  in  to to  49  what was of  the  said.  Such statements  insight,  theme t i t l e s statements, seemed t o  o r theme,  that  o r comments,  fit  themes  of  21 themes,  With t h i s  a final  made t o selected to  between  the  theme.  with  resulted  representative  in  co-  them.  themes  were  then  the meaning o f l e a v i n g 12  agreed,  two  themes in  c l u s t e r o f common themes  each of the  determine both the as  until  a n d one theme w i t h f o u r  final  review of  that  included  were c o l l a p s e d ,  in  t r a n s c r i p t s was  s u i t a b i l i t y of f o r each theme,  search for other possible  each  a l l of  with which a l l c o - r e s e a r c h e r s  agreement.  fit  w i t h agreement between  a n d some themes  i n agreement,  hand,  that  i n o r d e r t o u n d e r s t a n d more f u l l y  with three  for  was r e p e a t e d  the t r a n s c r i p t s . This  Interrelationships  themes  Possible  t h e t r a n s c r i p t s were  themes  r e s e a r c h e r s r a n g i n g f r o m two t o  themes,  terms  themselves.  w i t h i n each of  from a l l o f  a c l u s t e r of  process  headings  n o r comments t h a t  presented  t h e n combined i n t o a s e t  the  they expressed.  were w r i t t e n u n d e r t h e  The themes  sought  in  from each t r a n s c r i p t t h a t  n e i t h e r a d d i t i o n a l themes  comments  looked at  were w r i t t e n o n c u e c a r d s a n d s i g n i f i c a n t  p a r t i c u l a r t r a n s c r i p t . This  existing  were  the  comments  as w e l l  candidate statements  as for  50  From t h i s presented  to  the  comments were summary o f  a summary o f  co-researchers  as  was  noted above.  Their  i n t o the  final  and A s s u m p t i o n s s m a l l number o f  co-researchers,  g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y c a n be made.  study are true  f o r the  these results  further  themes  r e c o r d e d and i n t e g r a t e d  Given the  time,  the  themes.  Limitations  to  work,  The r e s u l t s  co-researchers  may be u s e d t o  only.  no c l a i m  of  this  At the  p o i n t t h e way  r e s e a r c h i n t o men and m a s c u l i n i t y  same  for  (Colaizzi,  1978). Since this results were  are  able  report.  s t u d y was b a s e d on s e l f - r e p o r t ,  l i m i t e d b o t h t o what t h e  to  Although I endeavoured t o  speak  selectively feelings. five  co-researchers  remember and t o what t h e y were w i l l i n g  r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h the them t o  the  freely  develop  co-researchers and o p e n l y ,  it  that is  reported t h e i r experiences,  At the  interviews,  feedback  from the  heart of  this  same t i m e ,  the  co-researchers,  research.  It  is  a would  allow  l i k e l y that beliefs,  this  is  and  what  is  interplay  they  and  i n t e r p l a y between  my own i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ,  to  the  the at  the  that  51  a l l o w s what i s said to  meant t o be what i s  be what i s  Finally,  a n d what  meant.  find  a language w i t h which t o  Rutherford  concern i n that  he has  (1988) e x p r e s s e s  a  and s e x u a l i t i e s  have t o  "become aware how h e t e r o s e x u a l  of  others,  but f a i l s  d e a l w i t h o u r own h e t e r o s e x u a l i t y  identities"  (p.  22).  It  a l l o w t h e men t o t a l k o f hope t h a t  this  language to  will  grow.  discuss  similar  men h a v e i n h e r i t e d a l a n g u a g e w h i c h c a n d e f i n e lives  is  I assumed t h a t t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r s a n d I  w o u l d be a b l e t o masculinity.  said,  was t h e  goal of  us when we and m a s c u l i n e  this  method  their masculinity. It  allow a s u f f i c i e n t l y  the  i s my  descriptive  to  52  Chapter  Four  Results This resulted  chapter w i l l from a n a l y s i s  themes w i l l of  the  be n o t e d ,  introduce the of  the  themes  transcripts.  followed  by a b r i e f  theme  and i l l u s t r a t i v e  remarks from  transcripts.  Each remark w i l l  be f o l l o w e d  numeral t o the  denote  comments  responses to the  which t r a n s c r i p t i s  a r e drawn f r o m t h e the  thematic  comments, italics  I have  prior  to  inserted the  the  's'  who a g r e e d i s theme.  explanation the by a roman  will  follow  a c l a r i f y i n g statement  in  comment. Major  agreed.  F o r the minor themes,  f o l l o w i n g the  themes  among t h e  M i n o r themes t o w h i c h f o u r o r f e w e r  noted  If  co-researchers'  f o r w h i c h t h e r e was unanimous a g r e e m e n t  co-researchers  the  being c i t e d .  The themes a r e b r o k e n i n t o two t y p e s :  researchers;  Each of  co-researcher's  summary, an  roman n u m e r a l . F o r some o f  that  the  statement of  coof  the  number  the  53  M a j o r Themes  1)  The experience This  theme i s  researchers achieve, that  of economic related  identified  achieve,  men a r e  as  achieve  still  responsibility.  t o what one o f 'the  4 A's of  and a c h i e v e .  expected  to  the  co-  masculinity': This  have a good  is  a  sense  j o b and make  money. Examples o f  that  comments  that  even though s o c i e t y  are supposedly support the  not  expected  family,  whose r e s p o n s i b i l i t y  you you  average  if  know,  if  is  c h a n g i n g so t h a t  to  be t h e  would t h a t  you s h o u l d ,  you're  s a l a r y you f e e l  are:  be?  (II,  be  poor,  p.24-25)  y o u s h o u l d have  you s h o u l d .  men  bread winner  my f a m i l y were t o  s h o u l d have a c a r e e r ,  should,  you  were made  (Ill,  money,  p.20)  a guy and y o u ' r e m a k i n g an pretty  inadequate.  (V,  p.3)  to  54  2)  The experience reinforcing This  includes  Examples o f  there  and/or physical  sports,  camping a c t i v i t i e s ,  like.  is  that  a two p e r s o n T a i C h i ; a n d I r e a l l y aspect it  doing the masculinity  of,  it's  aggressive,  a p p e a l e d t o me.  (I,  p.  it  c a n and t h a t  23)  because  your  you a r e d o i n g something fine  about  that  p.41)  P h y s i c a l work -  sports  have i n my s t r e n g t h s  getting forest  etc.  (physical)  o u t and s o r t o f  like  the  reaffirms the as  a male.  pride  I  (Ills)  j u s t messing  about  in  i n t h e o u t d o o r s a n d , y o u know p l a y i n g w i t h  axes and a l l t h o s e male t h i n g s one o f  has  h e a v y p h y s i c a l work r e a f f i r m s as w e l l ,  like  a b i t more I d o n ' t know i f  v e r y p h y s i c a l . And y o u ' r e f e e l i n g  the  physical  comments t h a t were made a r e :  you'd c a l l  (III,  activity  masculinity.  l a b o u r and t h e  that,  of outdoor  I mean,  it's  few a r e a s where I c o u l d t h i n k  probably  it's  55  something t h a t do.  3)  (IV,  I do t h a t women I know p r o b a b l y  p.30-31)  The experience in  of not feeling  representative  a brief  note  major theme.  In the  the  says  box t h a t  on t h i s  feedback,  'this  theme's  i n c l u s i o n as  co-researcher III  does n o t  fit  f o r me'  A p p e n d i x E ) . H o w e v e r , I am i n c l u d i n g t h i s theme b e c a u s e desire  to  I do n o t  feel  i n g e n e r a l . " As w e l l , he a s k s :  responses  ticked  the  comment o f with this it  say:  w h e t h e r o r n o t my e x p e r i e n c e s  summary, my  he t h e n goes o n t o  as  to  (see a major  "I do h a v e  a  that  theme,  fit'  at the  a r e common amongst  end o f  the  of  thematic  o r i n good company, w i t h I suspect  box as  that  he d i d n o t  I quoted from the  rather than that  theme i s  were  I am r e p r e s e n t a t i v e  the questions?"  'does not his  that  "Am I a l o n e ,  a theme p e r This  as  see  interview  he how t h e fit  he d i d n o t a g r e e  with  se. about the  a  ticked  know how r e p r e s e n t a t i v e my e x p e r i e n c e s  o t h e r men. men  of men  general. First  and  didn't  co-researchers  unsure whether o r not t h e i r experiences  feeling  a r e common t o  56  o t h e r men, as w e l l representative Examples o f  a desire to  t h e i r experiences  it's  great to  but I d o n ' t t h i n k  traditional feel  as  know how were.  comments t h a t were made a r e :  I think um,  as  I've  male r o l e s  t h r e a t e n e d as  see  changes  happening,  t a k e n on a l o t  and i d e a s , a lot  of  of  like  the  I don't think  I  o t h e r males m i g h t .  (I,  p.12)  white males right  d o n ' t have a l o t  now, y o u know? . . .  of  And I see  a r e c l o s e t o me d e a l i n g w i t h a l o t of  pain.  from.  You know,  there's feel  O t h e r men, t h a t ' s  a real  that  as  need h e r e .  a c u t e l y as  o t h e r p e o p l e who of  that  same  k i n d o f where i t  to  some p e o p l e  do.  (II,  kind  came that  Um, a n d I d o n ' t t h i n k  I  p.29)  know how r e p r e s e n t a t i v e my  were a n d w h e t h e r o r n o t my  a r e common amongst o t h e r men. I do n o t representative  currency  I t o l d y o u I s a i d t o my w i f e  I do h a v e a d e s i r e experiences  cultural  o f men i n g e n e r a l .  experiences feel  (Ills)  that  I am  57  I  d o n ' t see  things  urn, i t  don't think a male.  —Ties  as  doesn't,  I fit  (IV,  h a v i n g a whole  it's  lot  of  those  p a r t o f why I ' m s a y i n g  r e a l l y w e l l what s o c i e t y  I  expects  of  p.25)  i n w i t h n o t m e a s u r i n g up t o m a s c u l i n e m o d e l s ,  ideals.  4)  myself  (IVs)  The experience  of encountering  conflicting  expectations. This that, in  is  j u s t what i t  sounds  w h i l e on t h e one h a n d ,  c e r t a i n ways,  there  of,  or at  the  feeling  men a r e e x p e c t e d  to  behave  a r e a l s o m e s s a g e s t h a t men  s h o u l d be b e h a v i n g i n ways t h a t opposite  like;  least  seem e i t h e r  in conflict with,  quite the  the  former  expectation. Examples o f  (in  reference  them,  to idea  of woman working,  not) some women I t h i n k  partner O.K.  comments t h a t were made a r e :  but I r e a l l y I'm not  where I am f a i r l y think of  that  confused,  i n that  s a y t h a t w o u l d be  sure i f  I r e a l l y d o n ' t know,  I believe  I guess t h a t ' s I  respect.  her male  d o n ' t know (I,  p.14)  a lot  one  of  issue  what women  58  T h e r e a r e so many m i x e d messages a b o u t b e h a v i o u r and  attitudes  I  tried  weakness,  that  it  is  d i f f i c u l t to  r e a l l y hard to this  keep u p .  (Ills)  overcome what I saw as my  y o u know t y p i c a l l y m a l e t h i n g o f  h o l d i n g e v e r y t h i n g i n a n d y o u know b e i n g a h ,  a  wooden,  this  or,  situation  it  o r whatever and u n f o r t u n a t e l y i n was w i t h somebody who w a s ,  what she w a n t e d .  (IV,  t h e y want y o u t o yet  5)  greater  than you think  be s e n s i t i v e  This safety  (V,  safety others  not  p.41)  always c o n f i d e n t .  Feeling  that's  bit  and v u l n e r a b l e ,  but  p.9)  as a white man in the world  do.  theme c o n c e r n s  feelings  of  greater physical  i n t h e w o r l d and fewer c o n c e r n s about  being  attacked. E x a m p l e s o f comments t h a t were made a r e :  I I  feel  a l o t more s e c u r e when I w a l k t h e  d o n ' t have t o w o r r y a b o u t b e i n g a c c o s t e d  streets, or  sexual  59  harassment.  You know,  suppressed,  I don't  t h i n k b e i n g male ways.  I  (I,  do so  I of  that  is  safe  is  o r not  safe  it  is  f o r me by  do t h i n k a b o u t t h i s .  anywhere i t  (lis)  seems b u t urn, t h a t  i n f r i n g e on my w o r l d t h a t  I think i t ' s  are not  r e i n f o r c e d f o r women  "sacred".  think of  that  constantly.  our bodies  This  theme  as a man, you are a is  as  f a m i l y members,  protector.  a b o u t comments made c o n c e r n i n g  and a t t i t u d e s employees  t o w a r d s women i n and l o v e d o n e s .  kind  often  (Vs)  Feeling  behaviours  raised to  at  safe  p.5)  We  6)  no  l i k e w a l k i n g t o my c a r l a t e  I know o t h e r s  thing doesn't  whereas  so  lucky i n a lot  c o n s i d e r i n g whether  (in a place  no one  (IV,  I'm v e r y r e a l l y  know I do t h i n g s  daylight).  of  t h i n k as women m i g h t ,  being  p.7)  night without to  I d o n ' t w o r r y much a b o u t  general, T h e theme  60  suggests that  men a c c e p t  responsibility Examples o f  males um,  comments  i n the  as  do f e e l  if  The  to  sense w i l l  responsible  are:  society,  sacrifice  their  giver role  them.  tiring  (said  with  (e.g.  know)... Or i f so  that  she  something.  see  p.35-36)  -  if  I  my s t u d e n t s )  power p o s i t i o n  with  (lis)  as  responsibility o l d as  and f r u s t r a t i n g a t  with  I  off  got  first  ahead  think  I'm  21)  to This  can  (Ills)  off a bus  a woman he does not  get  (IV, p.  time.  times.  to getting  along  I'll  won't  my k i d s ,  specific  reference  at night  (I,  for c e r t a i n people  home and h e a r t h i s  be q u i t e  know  ideal  overwhelming sense o f  protect  fast  were made  I am i n some o t h e r  respect  late  others.  b e i n g some k i n d o f m a r t y r .  am i n a c a r e or  that  of  f o r women and c h i l d r e n , um, maybe I c o u l d  myself  I  safety  of  are t r a d i t i o n a l l y w a r r i o r s i n our  males  lives  f o r the  a c e r t a i n measure  of  I'll her  gonna  walk so turn  really  that and  you do  61  For to  7)  me,  it's  defined  by  This the  what i s  not wanting  (IVs)  is often  context.  co-researchers  the  to  that what is "manliness"  several  feel  ideas.  t h a t what i s  d e p e n d i n g on t h e p e o p l e t h a t  how t h e s e p e o p l e  contains  fears.  theme encompasses  male changes and  a sensitivity  c o n t r i b u t e t o women's  The experience  that  more o f  react to  i d e a t h a t what i s  It  suggests  considered they  are with  t h e m . F o r some o f male i s  often  them  it  defined  as  NOT f e m a l e .  E x a m p l e s o f comments t h a t were made a r e :  the  difference  opposed t o  is,  a female  So I t h i n k t h a t  The  the  of  (I,  it  b e i n g a male  comes  as  looks  from out  at  me.  there  p.6)  i d e n t i t y - masculine or  - being contextual  extent that  is  t h e way s o c i e t y  general notion of  otherwise to  is  a lot  rather than i n s i d e .  I see  seems c l e a r t o me e v e n  i d e n t i t y becomes  virtually  62  meaningless  e x c e p t as  understood i n  relationships,  (lis)  Sometimes things  y o u w a t c h women and t h e y  g o i n g on and e v e r y t h i n g i s  B u t women seem t o inability  to  have t h i s  do t h i s ,  uniquely male.  (Ill,  have about  just  ability,  so  or lack thereof,  15  clicking.... I think,  the  w o u l d be  p.18)  Being i n a romantic/sexual r e l a t i o n s h i p . . . c o m p l i m e n t s my m a l e n e s s and m a s c u l i n i t y by j u x t a p o s i n g t h e s e t r a i t s woman's  feminine  m a j o r theme  traits.  (Ills,  to  female.  this  it's  is  p.31)  hard  identify  determine what's d i f f e r e n t  (IV,  friends,  from response  the  to  12)  I g u e s s a common way t o trying  against  one  as  from  a male  is  being  p.3)  hard to  female  differentiate  friends  f o r me t o  that  cause I've  aren't  s o many  representative  s a y what makes me f e e l  male.  so  (IV,  63  8)  The experience confident This  expected  that  others  and competent  because  theme c o n c e r n s t h e to  and p r e s s u r e ,  facets  Examples o f  feeling  of  and t o  t h a t men a r e to  be a b l e  handle the  various  comments t h a t were made a r e :  aggressive  a n d urn c o n f i d e n t .  I'm supposed t o  (I,  bombarded w i t h images  they  that  that  good men d o n ' t  t h e r e m i g h t be h o m o s e x u a l s  d o n ' t say t h i n g s  that  s h o u l d n ' t do t h o s e t h i n g s (II,  assume t h a t , but t h a t ,  i n the  that room,  they  well,  we d o .  p.34)  P e o p l e assume t h a t  because  y o u a r e a man y o u c a n  h a n d l e a n y t h i n g and e v e r y t h i n g u n n e c e s s a r y p r e s s u r e on y o u . feel  be  p.31)  screw u p . They d o n ' t a h , t h e y d o n ' t say t h i n g s forget  to  life.  b e i n g male y o u ' r e t o l d t h a t  we're  you are a man.  be c o n f i d e n t a n d i n c o n t r o l ,  handle s t r e s s different  assume that you are  If  This  puts  you c a n ' t cope you  l i k e a f a i l u r e when y o u s h o u l d be s a y i n g  yourself  "this  is  s o much  t o o much f o r me".  (Ills)  to  64  what a l m o s t  everyone  t h e y want someone t h a t belligerent  not,  inconsiderate confident  looks is  for i n a,  y o u know,  i n a male  not,  um, p e r h a p s a r r o g a n t o r  b u t t h e y want someone t h a t  i n themselves.  (IV,  not , o r um is  very  p.24)  When we c o m p l a i n o r show v u l n e r a b i l i t y o r doubt we're  labeled  9) The experience  "immature",  of being  "babies".  are today, and so feeling  you will  be treated theme  researchers do and t h e sure  feel  how o t h e r s  there's the  comments  of  react that  always  to  c l a r i t y the  co-  being able  them when t h e y  to  to  be  behave.  were made a r e :  on t h e  bus now do y o u g e t  certainly  about how  r i g h t o r wrong t h i n g i s  not  no more s e a t s  mind whether  lack of  o f what t h e  will  unsure  of  when you go out in the world.  about the  experience  Examples o f  on  is  (Vs)  unsure of what the "rules  conduct"  This  self-  bus and a woman g e t s  up um, d o e s i t  o r not you s h o u l d get  c r o s s e s my m i n d ,  I kinda  up a h ,  cross  your  it  l o o k and now  is  65  this  somebody w h o ' s gonna be o f f e n d e d ,  somebody w h o ' s gonna be g r a t e f u l ?  I t h i n k y o u r e a l l y have t o be v e r y ,  very c a r e f u l .  d o n ' t want t o  (II,  p.13)  be c a r e f u l , y o u h a v e  ah,  offend  subjugate  how s h o u l d I p u t i t ,  so  (Ill,  it's  r e a l l y hard to  us a r e gonna g e t  uncertainties  you  or  the  p.4)  know what t o d o ,  w h i c h game do y o u p l a y a n d . . . i t of  ah,  o r d e n i g r a t e y o u r own, in  to but  anybody, but then a g a i n ,  l o s e a n y t h i n g o f y o u r own p o s i t i o n i n t h e world.  this  You urn, y o u d o n ' t o f f e n d ,  t h e n y o u d o n ' t want t o y o u d o n ' t want t o  is  seems t h a t  which, urn a b u n c h  caught i n the middle w i t h  a b o u t what t h e  new r o l e s  are.  this  (IV,  p.27)  if set,  I  just  knew what t h e  then I could just  k e e p c h a n g i n g o n me, being the  follow along.  and and t h e y ' r e  stacked against  game y o u know?  r u l e s were,  (V,  me,  and t h e y  But i f  the  rules  continuously  t h e n u h , what how do I  p.5)  were  play  66  10)  The feeling  our  culture  your  that  there  are many images of men in  but few, if any, fit for you, or  express  viewpoint.  T h i s theme c o n t a i n s  both the experience  our  c u l t u r e , we a r e f l o o d e d w i t h d i f f e r e n t  men  and a t t h e  really  see  images  same t i m e t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r s  themselves  represented i n those  that,  do  in of  not  images.  E x a m p l e s o f comments t h a t were made a r e :  (in take  response  part  to my asking  in the research)  I always t h i n k w e l l  e v e r a s k e d me o r p e o p l e t a k e a s k me, two b i t s  so i t ' s worth.  (I,  and  sometimes  that  and t h e y  never  p.3)  t h e s e images  w i t h urn and r e s p o n d t o t h o s e images  a poll  nobody  a c h a n c e f o r me t o y o u know p u t my  while there's  of  what prompted him to  that we're  all  faced  i n one way o r a n o t h e r urn, many  d o n ' t r e p r e s e n t who we a r e and a h ,  that  are I guess,  l e a v e s us r e s p o n d i n g i n , feel  q u i t e urn f r a g m e n t e d .  i n ways (II,  p.10-11)  it  is  not a matter of  negotiating  confusion,  i d e n t i t y within contexts  but of that  constantly promote  67  various  conceptions  much as  it  is  potentials.  There i s out of  there them.  constraining,  this  s o many d i f f e r e n t it's  difficult  You have one v e r s i o n and t h e n ,  i n the  I  like  p r i n t e d media.  Who do y o u i d e n t i f y  our  prevents culture.  won't that in  to  with  to  with  partner)  things anyone  a Hollywood  have o t h e r v e r s i o n s other versions (Ill,  in  in  the  p.4-5)  i n the  ? Perhaps i t  mass m e d i a . is  our  fear  men f r o m b e i n g p o r t r a y e d a c c u r a t e l y Fear that  lives.  once t h e  secret  is  out,  we  The b i g news f l a s h control of  in  is  anything  (Ills)  they here refers the  identify  say  men a r e s e l d o m i n c o m p l e t e  (the  As  f o r t h many  and  represented  be i n c o n t r o l a n y m o r e .  their  also sets  all).  o f manhood o r  and t h e n y o u p e r h a p s  Men a r e n o t w e l l  that  at  r o l e models  y o u r own f a m i l y o r o r w h a t n o t , printed  (or not  (lis)  that  masculinity version,  more o r l e s s  to women looking  l o o k keeps c h a n g i n g  want A l a n A l d a o r P h i l  like  for a  sometimes  Donahue and t h e n t h e y  Rambo and t h e y want K e v i n C o s t n e r .  (V,  p.7)  they  want  68  11) The experience  that,  men, the intimate  in relationships  sharing  with  of emotions  other  is not  prevalent. For  some o f  not  emotional  having the  is  kinds of  about the  extended some o f  Examples o f  male  comments  friend,  personally, that  I day,  as  experiences  where t h e y  of  s e e i n g t h e i r male the  who I  it  is  about  would  experience  for  of  don't  w i t h o t h e r men. are:  think I is  make a  remark,  a woman.  them  every  I don't  y o u know,  p.14-15)  fine,  find  p.55-56)  see  phone them e v e r y d a y ,  I  very  (II,  have maybe 1 o r 2 and I d o n ' t  And t h a t ' s  For  not  can t a l k t o v e r y i n t i m a t e l y ,  um, and I  them  friends.  r e m a r k a b l e when I  r e m a r k a b l e when i t  (Ill,  shares  sometimes g o i n g  t h a t were made  find  week o r s o m e t h i n g . that.  them t h i s  includes  I  about  o r a n o t h e r man  close physical contact  know t h a t  is  F o r some o f  experience  them t h i s  this  w i t h a n o t h e r man. F o r some o f  periods without  experiencing  I  when t h e y  stuff.  s h a r e deep emotions this  co-researchers,  on i n s t a n c e s  remarking deeply  the  once  I ' m happy w i t h  a  69  t a l k e d w i t h h i m f o r a b o u t an h o u r and a h a l f two h o u r s a b o u t p e r s o n a l s t u f f aware t h a t don't but  get  not  is  they  is  very true.  of  talked to  angry  (IV,  and I  and he p h o n e s  me up  "hey wanna w a t c h a ,  game o r s o m e t h i n g  y o u know  a n d uh  I'm not  gonna s a y uh "why h a v e n ' t  p h o n e d me i n  (laugh)  a l l this  a sexual This sense of  theme  this  m a s c u l i n i t y as  includes  the  with  (V,  strength  it's you  p.19)  from being in  a woman.  suggests that  confidence  co-researchers  time".  that men gain  relationship  p.37)  known themes  no b i g d e a l ,  12) The experience  just  (IVs)  him i n y e a r s  a s u d d e n and s a y s  guys  can get  p r o b a b l y one o f y o u r b e t t e r  wanna w a t c h a f o o t b a l l  of  often,  very  that  I ' m f r i e n d s w i t h a guy o r s o m e t h i n g  haven't all  v e r y uncommon t h a t ,  distraught that  I think i t  if  is  I was  s a d o r y o u know r e a l l y d i s t r e s s e d .  this and  this  and i t ,  or  men c a n f e e l  a  greater  b e i n g w i t h a woman. F o r some o f also  includes  a result  benefits  of  of  their  an i n c r e a s e d  feeling  b e i n g w i t h a woman. sexual  the  experiences.  It It  70  also includes more l o n e l y , Examples o f  the  comments  last  I felt  that  know,  the  (I,  that  I was  I feel  f a r as  in,  i n being  p.  certainly  and a h ,  sex  just  a great  actual  d o e s i m p a c t on m e ) .  sex  (IVs)  I  in and  another whether  t h i n g does  part of  it  you  (laugh), cake, too.  way.  o r enhances  and by t h e  I think being desired, than the  like  a lover  is  i c i n g on t h e  and e n h a n c e s h e r f e m i n i n i t y .  factor  good  30-31)  your m a s c u l i n i t y ,  masculinity  was  felt  that's  s o many a v e n u e s y o u c a n p u r s u e t h a t reaffirms  it  more c o n f i d e n t  important,  little  I mean t h a t ' s its  as  confident,  are:  I g u e s s and m a s c u l i n i t y  a r e a good l o v e r .  that's  less  a woman.  were made  I guess t h a t ' s  course,  feeling  l i k e y o u know my l o v e r  sexual,  i s s u e on m a l e  Of  that  good l o v e r . . .  being  is,  of  without  relationship  a really  myself  experience  l e s s male,  because... was  the  There are  That  that  your  same t o k e n , (Ill,  p.44)  accepted,  loved  (although  you  that  reaffirms  is  more a  certainly  71  We c a n ' t know j u s t reinforced  just  have s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e  just  f o r uh y o u  f r o m o u r own manhood, we n e e d t o  have  it  by b e i n g a r o u n d y o u know p e o p l e ,  e s p e c i a l l y women who g i v e  us t h e  self-confidence.  (V,  p.17)  M i n o r Themes  1)  The experience [Three i n This  there  changes  are  happening.  agreement]  theme  is,  as  a r e some p o s i t i v e  general of  that positive  changes  that  it  says,  about the  changes  fact  coming out o f  are happening t o  that the  society.  Examples  comments t h a t were made a r e :  I'm  an i n d i v i d u a l  t h e r e ' d be b e t t e r individual  who,  as me, o r t h a t to  and I m i g h t f i n d  chances  that,  that there w i l l  will  have t h e  (I,  means  same  expectations more o p e n  p.16)  T h e r e a r e many v e r y p o s i t i v e more t r a d i t i o n a l  it  be an  I m i g h t meet someone who i s  different things.  more s o  that,  conceptions  in current society  aspects of  o f maleness  that  allows  even  the  and even  s o many ways  72  of  b e i n g "male" t o be r e c o g n i z e d a n d a c c e p t e d ,  even  r e w a r d e d i n some ways t h a t w o u l d n o t h a v e b e e n  some  years  ago.  It  lets  themselves they  (lis)  e v e r y b o d y e x p l o r e and t o are i n t e r e s t e d  a r e good a t .  and I t h i n k t h a t  p u r s u e what  i n and what t h e y  There a r e n ' t these is  provider, will  2)  included can't just  this  in this  be s u r e i f because  Examples o f  it's messy,  if  [Three i n  Again,  and s t o i c  an e n d s o o n .  unsure  "human".  expectations  protector,  come t o  Feeling  the  that  restrictions  a g r e a t t h i n g has come o u t o f  f e m i n i s t movement o r i n modern t i m e s .  Hopefully,  feel  they  (Ill,  f o r men t o  p.12)  be  respectable  the  the  individual  (Ills)  a particular  trait  is  "male"  or  agreement]  theme i s  self  theme a r e o f my h e s i t a t i o n  e x p l a n a t o r y . Comments the c h a r a c t e r of is  "but  about b e i n g male,  I ' m a human b e i n g . " comments t h a t were made a r e :  a l l t i e d u p , and I t h i n k y o u know, how much o f  it  it's is  all  really  quite maleness  I or  73  and  how much i s  this  culture, traditional  we've t a k e n on f o r y e a r s reinforced.  (said position  (I,  if  it  in  context  of  power  of in  his  talking  a company)  about it's  good as  p o s i t i o n o f power.  I d o n ' t know w h i c h t h i n g s  human c o n f i d e n c e (IV,  3)  getting  a  back  to  (Ill,  p.41)  self  separate  a human  confident just  and a n d so on f r o m m a l e  but  general  confidence.  p.31)  The  group  experience  of  This  that  victimizers.  you  are  theme a d d r e s s e s  because  they  perceived  [Four i n  as  as  of  a threat,  of  either  the  or of  having feeling  a r e men, t h e y a r e lumped i n w i t h  " t h o s e who v i c t i m i z e . " Examples o f  one  agreement].  experiences  p e r s o n a l l y been p e r c e i v e d o f that,  holding  a man o r as  I mean s o m e t h i n g makes me f e e l I,  been  a m a s c u l i n e t h i n g o r a power t h i n g ,  makes y o u f e e l  being i n the  just  that  p.38)  t h a t whether i t ' s or  and i t ' s  roles  comments t h a t were made a r e :  74  (said  in context  of talking  images of men that man  as  the  they  feel  flip  I feel uh i t  caring,  misunderstood,  guys  of  as  people and I  I feel  cliche,  I know i s  are sympathetic,  compassionate  the  p.12)  uh  might sound a l i t t l e  You know, most  know,  (II,  as v i o l e n t  b u t no one  various  images  victimizer.  and a h ,  o r even c a v a l i e r ,  that. you  aggressors  that,  that  be b r a n d i n g a l l men as  alienated.  offended  today)  quintessential  seem t o  potential  exist  about the  individuals.  like and u h , (Ill,  p.7)  Have b e e n v e r b a l l y a b u s e d on t h e male  [I]  tend to  dominate debate".  you're treated a potential  either  rapist.  (V,  p.23)  is  if  something  that  "as  a  (IVs)  a genderless  You know as  male h e t e r o s e x u a l i t y disgusting.  as  basis  as uh  if  person or  as  o u r y o u know  something  75  Chapter  Five  Discussion This  chapter w i l l  purpose of results.  the  of  and f o r f u t u r e  by a d i s c u s s i o n  the  results  of  of  the  the  for  research directions  will  explored.  Restatement  of  Purpose  The p u r p o s e o f from t h e  this  perspective  heterosexual  men,  probe the  r e s e a r c h was  was  place,  of  of  at  this was  understand, young  white  being male.  a s k e d was:  methodology  experience  to  a s m a l l group o f  experience  that  be a man i n t h i s  phenomenological  of  the  research question to  followed  The i m p l i c a t i o n s  counselling t h e n be  study,  begin with a re-statement  what  time  is  The  it  like  in history? A  employed i n o r d e r  t h e s e men a t  the  level  to  of  meaning. Analysis feedback  of  the  from the  which a l l of themes t h a t  transcripts  co-researchers  yielded  t h e men were i n a g r e e m e n t , received  and one theme t h a t the  interview  co-researchers.  endorsement  received  12  the  themes  as w e l l  from t h r e e  endorsement  and  of  as the  from f o u r  for two men, of  76  Summary a n d D i s c u s s i o n o f Each of  the  discussed  in  discussed  first,  effort of  will  turn.  The  Methodology,  followed  for  the  part  approach i s  that  experiences  of  that  yielded  of it  the  the  by t h e  12 m a j o r  b e made t o  e a c h theme  chapter  themes  Results  themes w i l l  by t h e  explore  analysis will  three  the  be  minor  themes.  underlying  value  allows  us  of  the  into  co-researchers.  richness  of  this  An  meaning  c o - r e s e a r c h e r s . As noted the  be  in  the  phenomenological  the It  meaning of is  in  the  the  present  approach w i l l  become  evident. Where r e l e v a n t , between  the  research In  different  and the order  Bob, it  is  to  the  will  chapter five  five  in  locate  summaries. interview.  to  four  note  A l when i t  H i s comments  are  two.  readable,  be r e f e r r e d  of  the  Also, five  feedback to  came t i m e  present  names  co-researchers. Co-  will  that,  returned  drawn  chapter  more  Cam, Don, and Evan r e s p e c t i v e l y . important  be  and between t h e reviewed  make t h i s  one t h r o u g h  researchers, to  themes  literature  have been a s s i g n e d t o researchers  relationships  to  drawn  mail  to  I  feel  Al, that  co-  me.  I  out  the  solely  as  from  was  unable  thematic his  77  The e x p e r i e n c e expectations. theme this  fit.  o f economic r e s p o n s i b i l i t y and  For a l l  five  However, b o t h t h e  the c o - r e s e a r c h e r s , i m p a c t and t h e  s o c i a l expectation varied.  absurd. social  In response expectations  "...some  of  that  it's  that  economic r e a l i t i e s fact  incomes  of  so  of thinking  family.  the t w i l i g h t of  Cam f e e l s  the  discuss  the  need f o r  to  say  the  expectation  to  have much i m p a c t on h i m .  o n l y one o f t h e  makes r e f e r e n c e i n context that  his  social  of  to  his  this  theme,  family.  r e s p o n s e was  expectation  In h i s  i n t e n d e d as  and not h i s  u n c l e a r t o what d e g r e e  this  i m p a c t s upon h i s  experience  a l s o makes n o t e ,  in his  coverage child  feedback,  allow  Results,  Bob a s s e r t s  an e x p l i c a t i o n o f It  actually  of  However,  himself. of  a  is  expectation  " r e g a r d i n g 'dead beat  but  married,  noted i n the  own b e l i e f .  feedback,  s u p p o r t . But l i t t l e  two  He d o e s n o t  f o u r who i s as  the  expectation,  is  era  Century,  20th  response  the  ' o h come o n ! '  of  and f o r t h i s  f u n n y . " He goes on t o of  said:  his  Bob,  of  as  f a r gone a n d s o o u t  h i g h u n e m p l o y m e n t , and t h e  in a  origins  Cam p e r c e i v e d i t  he e x p e r i e n c e d he  them a r e j u s t  not even  this  t o my q u e s t i o n c o n c e r n i n g t h e  touch with today's...ways  the  of  he  r e c e n t media  d a d s ' ; men who s k i p  a b o u t men who a r e e m o t i o n a l l y  78  absent.  It  is  our f i n a n c i a l presence  that  gets  attention." Al, in  D o n , a n d E v a n a l l make r e f e r e n c e  context  thereof,  of  to  t h e i r romantic r e l a t i o n s h i p s ,  w i t h women. A l s p e a k s  of  mothers,  this or  lack  t h e women h i s  being primarily  single  and t h a t  understandably,  want someone who i s  age  inadequate.  I count myself to myself  financially  stable,  nice  He s t a t e s :  y o u know,  c a r and I d o n ' t  immediately she's  However,  to  he t h e n goes on t o  important to  not most, Just  i n his  expectation him,  the  so to  tell  the  a story of  h e r as  feedback,  H i s economic  he had b e l i e v e d notes  it  [economic  'personal ads'."  situation  leaves  status it  to  stability] He f e e l s  him f e e l i n g  as  was  be.  " a p p e a r s many,  f r o m b o t h women and s o c i e t y  expectation  a  a s s u m p t i o n and was w r o n g . The  women l o o k f o r  look at  a  and a l l  n o t e v e n gonna want  woman e n d e d up a s k i n g h i m o u t .  Don,  offer  have  say  me'.  i n w h i c h he made t h i s  n o t as  I don't  have a h o u s e  these m a t e r i a l comforts  consider  leaves  o u t when I meet a woman. I  'well,  as  they,  someone who c a n p r o v i d e . B e i n g u n e m p l o y e d , t h i s him f e e l i n g  theme  if  also.  this a whole.  a lack of  For  79  confidence  since  expectation penalized him,  the  excel  is  he does n o t m e a s u r e  tied  by t h e  up w i t h a f e e l i n g  combination of  o n l y be r e a c h e d i f  the  expectation  reference  to  appreciated  "men g e t  injunction that  are very s i m i l a r .  specifically financially ads  For  to  equality  can  leaves  him  i n context of stable,  that  rich."  opportunities with a feeling  so t h a t that  a l s o makes  His experience  this  He s t a t e s  things  as  a b o u t me, trade  generation  reference  they to  and I h a v e n ' t  secure, is  that  unless to  he  we  the  ahead.  He i s  stand are theme i n  father.  He s a y s :  left  context  think get  been w o r k i n g s i n c e  up  unfair.  this  because I d i d n ' t  is  that  should give  a b o u t what my p a r e n t s  my f a t h e r  women  explicitly  this  women c a n f o r g e  relationship with his  I worry a l o t  women  a l s o making  financially  D o n , he r e l a t e s  men o f  talks  i n w h i c h he p e r c e i v e s  for himself.  And l i k e  expectation  his  male.  He, t o o ,  no a p p r e c i a t i o n o r r e c o g n i t i o n  achieve."  of  being  continued expectation  "being v e r y p i c k y . They say  Al  he i s  women a r e h i r e d o v e r men,  personal  w h i c h we know means not  this  bitter.  w a n t i n g men who a r e  as  the  and t h e  E v a n ' s comments of  that  job market f o r b e i n g a white  economically  feeling  u p . As w e l l ,  a  high  80  school  and I  to  father.  my  feel  like  We m a y c o n c l u d e t h a t , experiences impacts story  this  the  working.  are the is  for  is  that  them.  it  left  not  has  this  wondering  financially  expectation  differential item  how  his  representative  each woman's  s t i l l  Al's  h i m b e c a u s e he was  motivation  s e c u r e men. What  is  is  contradicted  want  p e r s o n a l a d s , o r what wanting  e a c h man  One n o t e w o r t h y  she would  We a r e  disappointment  although  woman w h o s e a c t i o n s  assumption that not  am a  expectation,  on e a c h o f  of  I  a part  of  seems  clear  this  culture. In today  context  continue  behave  like  supports of  the  to  the  literature,  the  writings  of  (1976),  that  in  expectation Of  to  where  and t h o s e  of  Brannon  are the  (1976)  different  expectation  and the  focus  of  three  researchers  on t h i s  expectation  of  they also  he s p e a k s and  Brannon  co-researchers experienced  be what  interest  It  f o c u s i n g on a c h i e v i n g  career matters, the  (1982),  men  that  (Fasteau, 1975).  O'Neil  Masculine Mystique in  we s e e t h a t  e x p e r i e n c e an e x p e c t a t i o n  a male machine  succeeding  Wheel.  of  an  would term responses to the  as having  a  Big this  cospecifically  81  t o do w i t h t h e i r p o t e n t i a l romantic r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h women. In c o n t e x t o f contemporary c u l t u r e , t h i s theme seems s t r i k i n g l y s i g n i f i c a n t . I t h i n k p a r t i c u l a r l y o f the r e c e n t v o c i f e r o u s c a l l s f o r the e l i m i n a t i o n o f a f f i r m a t i v e a c t i o n programs and the e l e c t i o n i n the U n i t e d S t a t e s o f Newt G i n g e r i c h and o t h e r s t r o n g r i g h t wing p o l i t i c i a n s . Perhaps these events would not be  so  pronounced were i t not f o r the f a c t t h a t many young white middle c l a s s men  still  f e e l the e x p e c t a t i o n t o  a c h i e v e , a c h i e v e , a c h i e v e . In c o n t e x t of t h i s e x p e c t a t i o n as p a r t o f the male e x p e r i e n c e , as p a r t of what i t means t o be a man  i n s o c i e t y ' s eyes,  such  events make more sense. I t seems a c l e a r double message t o both ask these i n d i v i d u a l s t o w i l l i n g l y make space f o r o t h e r s ' success and a t the same time c o n t i n u e t o t e l l them t h a t they are expected t o succeed way  as b e f o r e . I suggest t h a t t h i s i s a r e c i p e f o r  d i s a s t e r and b a c k l a s h . I f we buy  i n the same  are t o expect such men  i n t o processes l i k e a f f i r m a t i v e a c t i o n , we  to  need t o  do away w i t h the s o c i a l e x p e c t a t i o n of t h e i r economic success.  82  five  Physical/Outdoor a c t i v i t y  and m a s c u l i n i t y . A l l  of  theme,  t h e men s u p p o r t e d t h i s  caveats.  In h i s  I don't is  feedback,  believe  take  time  same t i m e ,  of  things  the  men's  stuff  also whole  light  indicates  I  interview that  i n are to  [men's  "most  stuff]",  those things  canoeing,  which  a concern that,  activities  not  negative  that  as m a s c u l i n i t y and  have t h e  c r i t i q u e d , such critique's  shadow" c a s t on t h e m .  he f e e l s  p u t down o r d i s m i s s e d  are  like  k a y a k i n g , and m o u n t a i n e e r i n g . He  t h i n g a b o u t b e i n g a man" i s  or the  of  c o n s i d e r e d w i t h i n t h e male domain,  expresses  positive  ideals  activity.  being a reference  traditionally backpacking,  'good o l d '  he s a y s i n t h e  I push m y s e l f  It  self-  a r e r e i n f o r c e d when  for physical  At the  jock image.  a sense of  assurance—approaching individualism—that  several  Bob s t a t e s :  I look f o r the  more a m a t t e r o f  with  as  "the very  "negative Bob  a n g r y when s u c h a c t i v i t i e s part of  the  critique  are  of  masculinity. In h i s this  a r e a as  feedback,  Don comments  exclusively  masculine  women who engage c o m p e t e n t l y This  gets at  one o f  the  that  he d o e s n o t  i n that  i n outdoor  difficulties  he  see  knows  activities.  inherent  in  this  83  study,  which i s  the  way i n w h i c h m a s c u l i n i t y  by t h e  co-researchers.  detail  below.  We w i l l  There are a l s o deeper  this  i n more  elements of  this  theme  Cam p l a y e d h o c k e y a l m o s t  professional  and t a l k e d a b o u t t h e  part of  a team and t h e  resulted. one o f  This  the  a sense of that  things  adult,  that  that  i n his  discussing  men want t o  life.  p e r s o n p i c k e d on t h e them,  confidence.  doing well  at  We c a n r e l a t e and t h e  being  of  that  sports  is  Cam n o t e s as  an  too  this  when  this  side of  the  a man i s  how he c a n p e r f o r m .  to Messner's  (1987)  Cam p u t s  sports  lowered t h e i r  back t o  that  as  it,  team c r u s h i n g b l o w  good a t  The f l i p  sports  feeling  he c a n d o ,  that  but t h a t  return to  being  friendships.  For both of their  out  a l l - c o n s u m i n g w o u l d be We w i l l  the  assertion  same t i m e ,  B o t h Cam and Don t a l k a b o u t , last  get  that  sense of  (1987)  when he was y o u n g ,  anything that  invasive  Messner's  camaraderie. At the  he n e e d e d  to  b o n d i n g and commitment  supports  defined  look at  bear i n v e s t i g a t i n g . level,  is  findings.  has  this  is  sense of  issue of  scenario."  enhanced that  also  not  confidence.  achievement,  judged i n terms This  "the  lends  of  what  support  84  Bob t o u c h e s interview.  on s e v e r a l  He n o t e s t h a t  wants  to  play,  wants  to  be n u r t u r e d .  interesting  his  o r be r o u g h ,  s o n comes but t o  issues to  Bob's wife  done t h a t . . . w e ' v e  done t h a t  that  o r s o c i a l i z e d him t h a t  o r done t h a t  that  Right.).  stuff have  that  have  nurtured  B u t , urn, s o  a n d a h , as much as  I  stuff  d i f f e r e n t l y than the  did',  ultimately it's  I t r y to  say  communication o f values r o u g h h o u s i n g and i t s Don a l s o  helps  of  was a l o t  us t o  focus  on t h i s .  he s a y s ,  "watching him i n the  o f what my a w a r e n e s s  male I g u e s s . " There i s  At the  p l a y and  i n the  In responding home t h a t  with reference  to  his  on  was o f y o u know b e i n g  a suggestion  same t i m e t h e r e  gave  o u t d o o r s and so  that  i n f o r m a t i o n was t r a n s m i t t e d f r o m f a t h e r t o action.  the  connection to masculinity.  him a sense o f m a l e n e s s , that  on  the value of  t o my q u e s t i o n a b o u t e x p e r i e n c e s  father,  that  same.  t h a t Bob t o u c h e s  here,  'well  guys b e f o r e me  p r e t t y much t h e  i n t e r e s t i n g here i s  way  I am aware  I ' m a new age m a l e and I ' m gonna do a l l  What i s  when he  He s t a t e s : there's  of  his  h i m when he  Now I ' m s u r e t h a t  (Interviewer:  in  is  a sense  this son t h r o u g h of  a m b i v a l e n c e b o t h h e r e and l a t e r i n t h e t r a n s c r i p t ,  85  which r e l a t e s definitions  back t o  of  the  masculinity.  Representativeness. theme  i s s u e above c o n c e r n i n g  An u n d e r l y i n g element  f o r A l , B o b , and Cam i s  more e m o t i o n a l l y a v a i l a b l e , more s e n s i t i v e , experience t h e y were left for  of  sensitive  wondering i f  this  this  t h e men i n t h i s  there  s t u d y was  below.  It  is  they  that I am  interesting,  results  That i s ,  are.  but  I am  We w i l l  however,  that  o f Moore and N u t t a l l ' s  r e s e a r c h w h i c h f o u n d t h a t men s e e  m a l e as  is  a r e n o t many men l i k e t h e m ,  we do n o t know t h i s .  does s u p p o r t the  (1981)  or  is  t h a n o t h e r men. My  w o n d e r i n g how r e p r e s e n t a t i v e  return to  less,  this  each  and t h o u g h t f u l and t o l e r a n t .  c e r t a i n reasons  left  or b r i s t l e s  respectively,  a l l of  t h e i r sense t h a t  of  i n s t r u m e n t a l and i n e x p r e s s i v e  the  typical  and t h e m s e l v e s  as  different. Don,  i n his  feedback,  says t h a t  this  "tie[s]  w i t h n o t m e a s u r i n g up t o m a s c u l i n e m o d e l s , poor,  underweight,  know i f up t h e  this  is  the  interview,  A lot  of  not  the  he  sexually  experienced,  r u l e or the  exception."  p r o b l e m I have i n t r y i n g  to  etc.  is  the  anyone e l s e  to  problem of  (I:  I'm Don't  I n summing  says:  a n a l y z e my e x p e r i e n c e s comparing i t  ideals.  in  uh-huh).  I  86  s u r e d o n ' t wanna compare i t or the,  to the  the  ideal  y o u know, t h e m e s s a g e s t h a t we  from s o c i e t y ,  but i t  get  w o u l d s u r e be n i c e  to  know what a r e t h e common e x p e r i e n c e s . This  connects  w i t h D o n ' s comments a b o v e a b o u t h a v i n g  t r o u b l e d e c i d i n g what i s knowing t h e  norm,  m a s c u l i n e b e h a v i o u r . Not  he has t r o u b l e d e c i d i n g where  he  stands. This  e c h o e s Cam's q u e s t i o n a t t h e  f e e d b a c k a b o u t how h i s o t h e r men. We s e e of  how t h e y  fit  For Evan,  responses  fit  end o f  his  with those of  here a genuine d e s i r e  to  have a  this  is  related to  group i s  i n power).  feelings  of being alone  "what we h e a r  D o n ' s comments t h a t t h i s  i n my p r o b l e m s . " T h i s  to  the  (our  theme o f  and  takes  us  and goes a l o n g w i t h one  n o t k n o w i n g makes i t  f i g u r e o u t where a n d how he  relevant  from  T h a t makes i n s e c u r i t y w o r s e ,  a deeper emotional l e v e l ,  him t o  sense  i n as men.  mass m e d i a . B e i n g a m a l e s h o u l d be r e a l l y e a s y  to  the  'fits'.  expectations  of  It  hard is  of  for  also  confidence  below. Bob p r o v i d e s us w i t h a u s e f u l feedback,  saying that  would not expect  he i s  caveat  "cautious  in  his  here i n t h a t  anyone t o be r e p r e s e n t a t i v e  of  I  a group  87  in  general." I too  suggest that  am c a u t i o u s ,  there  is  something c l e a r l y i s there  assertions  if  any  points  I believe  Fasteau's  result  of  that  (1975)  c o n c e r n i n g m a s c u l i n i t y , we f i n d  t h a t much o f t h e  And y e t  t o make.  we r e f e r b a c k t o  argues  to  'in general'.  g o i n g on h e r e .  a r e two s a l i e n t First,  in fact  a n d do n o t want  that  he  p a i n o f b e i n g a male i s  o u r s o c i a l i z e d need t o  compete.  the  Now  c o m p e t i t i o n means w i n n i n g , a n d i n o r d e r t o w i n one needs t o were.  hold one's cards c l o s e to the  An e t h i c  of  chest  as  c o m p e t i t i o n c o u l d be s e e n t o  it lead  to  a s i t u a t i o n i n w h i c h t h e c o m p e t i t o r s do n o t know, indeed ought not t o doing u n t i l  the  awarded.  is  It  know, what a n d how e a c h o t h e r  competition is only after  the  o v e r and t h e  f o o t b a l l team wins  G r e y Cup t h a t we h e a r o f  the extent of  the  is  star quarterback. It  t h a t we l e a r n t h a t  vying that  f o r the  If  injuries battle  is  suicide  b o t h I a n d my c o l l e a g u e  John  same p r o m o t i o n , I do n o t d i s c l o s e  I need h e l p i n a p a r t i c u l a r  Indeed,  is  area of the  i n a l l of these instances,  is the  had fewer m i s s i l e s  t h e y c l a i m e d . In terms o f w i n n i n g , i t admit weakness.  the  o n l y once t h e  the v i c t o r s  prize  is  one w i l l  to won  than to  are t o him  job. exaggerate  88  the  superiority of  one's p o s i t i o n r e l a t i v e  to  the  others. Of c o u r s e , doing, that  i n order to  we must s h a r e o f  is  the  know how e a c h o t h e r  ourselves  second p o i n t .  We w i l l  w i t h one a n o t h e r , return to  when t a l k i n g a b o u t f r i e n d s h i p . F o r now, interesting themes o f extent,  to  note  that  this  fits  seeking  h e l p from o t h e r s , l e a r n what i s  seeking  is  help.  vulnerable.  here  It  at  In t h i s  is  least  respect,  B r a n n o n ' s (1976) it  it  this is  with 0'Neil's  if  (1982)  t y p i c a l " as  indicates  theme o f No S i s s y  more a m a t t e r o f  some  we c a n c o n c e i v e  of  a form o f  an a c t i o n t h a t it  and  issue  a v o i d i n g i n t i m a c y w i t h o t h e r men a n d , t o  "reaching out to  for  is  leaves  some  Stuff,  leaving oneself  one  support although  vulnerable  o r a d m i t t i n g a need r a t h e r t h a n n o t b e h a v i n g i n a f e m i n i n e manner. Experiencing c o n f l i c t i n g expectations. underlying experience, comments,  relates  to  r e p r e s e n t e d by Don and E v a n ' s  the c o n f l i c t i n g expectations  women t o w a r d s men, and how d i f f i c u l t know how t o problems  behave  the  it  is  them i n t h a t  they  b e s t way t o b e h a v e .  of  therefore  i n r e l a t i o n t o women. T h i s  f o r both of  k n o w i n g what i s  One  causes  are l e f t Further,  not Evan  to  89  e n d s up f e e l i n g  isolated  these c o n f l i c t i n g For A l , the confusing, As w e l l , he w i l l  with,  looks  he s e e s t h e  specifically.  expectations  forward to  conflict  He n o t e s t h a t  one  feels  saying:  should t r u s t  good a b o u t  the  lead to  of  a  challenge.  h o l d i n g out  "not  hope  fit  as  that  him  concerned  society  y o u know,  in  general  I c a n be  "more i m p o r t a n t l y , his  instincts  i n any g i v e n  an  different  of  expectations  First,  we  expectations  experiences.  A l , D o n , and E v a n a l l  conflicting  and do what  here.  conflicting  secondary  I think,  in is  he  situation."  seem s i g n i f i c a n t  experience  note t h a t  are  them as  too worried about,  Two p o i n t s that  of  w i t h t h e m . " Cam e c h o e s t h e s e s e n t i m e n t s  feedback,  that  as  he i s  b e c a u s e when I meet someone,  his  a result  t o meet a woman who w i l l  y o u know,  individual  as  expectations. conflicting  b u t he  be a b l e  and l o n e l y  locate  in their  Second,  the  note can we  experience  relationships  with  women. This Nuttall's  theme i n d i c a t e s (1981)  support  conclusion  that  f o r Moore and "males  c o n f r o n t e d by c o n t r a d i c t o r y demands (p.  324).  and  are  indeed  expectations"  90  Feeling of  the  greater safety  a w h i t e man. O n l y  c o - r e s e a r c h e r s made comments i n t h e  that  supported t h i s  that  it  fit  Evan note  men.  F o r Don, t h i s  deluding himself with violence.  most v i o l e n c e leaves  since  issues  whose  safety.  our bodies  as  whose  support i s  feedback,  talks  of  he i s  get  it  comes  feedback,  down t o  he s a y s :  "I  afford  We a r e n o t r a i s e d  also  derived solely  to  (in a place that I know o t h e r s  from  his  He s a y s :  l i k e w a l k i n g t o my c a r l a t e  me by d a y l i g h t ) .  theme  done a n d c a n ' t  something s i m i l a r .  s a f e t o do so  just  experiences  at  n i g h t w i t h o u t c o n s i d e r i n g whether o r not is  against  'sacred'."  Bob,  I do t h i n g s  suggest  support f o r t h i s  In h i s  t o w o r r y a b o u t my own s a f e t y . think of  that  committed  feedback,  do w h a t e v e r needs t o  agreed  B o t h Don a n d  him wondering i f  from h i s  of  is  three  interviews  five  he l a c k s n e g a t i v e  For Evan,  derived solely  have t o  However, a l l  t h a t t h e y have r e a d a r t i c l e s  statistically,  ignoring  theme.  f o r them i n t h e i r f e e d b a c k .  that  is  as  is  it  safe  do t h i n k  for  about  this. For a l l three of  t h e s e men t h e r e  not  they  that  s o much t h a t they  feel  is  a sense t h a t  it  a r e i n a c t u a l f a c t more s a f e ,  t h a t way,  o r d o n ' t t h i n k about  it.  is but  91  O'Neil Mystique  (1982)  is  Perhaps i t  being is  ourselves willing have  to  here  Sissy are  at  i n c o n t r o l of  the  expect ourselves  case that to  Stuff.  the  related It  to  Male  socialized  Brannon's  being  p e r h a p s what  (1976)  weakness t o  due t o  putting  o r not  Or, again,  to  theme o f  No  admit t h a t  o u r c o n d i t i o n i n g as  we  we  men,  not.  suggests,  that  sacred.  violence  the  that  fight.  men t h a t If  this  raised to  I cannot  the  Feelings theme f i t s protector  think of is  critical as  our  I know who I c o u l d n o t  goad  into  as  who w o u l d f i g h t  cannon f o d d e r ? To encourage to  challenge  being a protector.  did not.  bodies  than  we as men saw o u r b o d i e s  f o r them,  our  of  I see  Evan  more  m i l i t a r y i n d u s t r i a l system of  what  think of  such a sacred d i r e c t i o n i s order of  just  such a b e l i e f  concern f o r our s a f e t y ,  Who w o u l d be t h e  may be  c o n t i n u a t i o n o f what  obsessed c u l t u r e .  two o r t h r e e a fist  of  we a r e n o t  I believe  importance to  felt  the  environment.  considering,  would b e l i e  A n o t h e r component  as  one's  i n being  risk.  i n d a n g e r and s o ,  we do  part of  be i n c o n t r o l , we e n d up  r i s k by n o t  admit, is  suggests that  although the  I think that  the  sacred the  and  wars?  men i n underlying  itself.  F o r Bob and Don  specific  the  word  I selected this  word  in  92  l a r g e measure, Don s a y s t h a t feedback to  with reference f o r him i t  he s a y s :  not wanting to  explicit  about  is  " f o r me,  it's  more o f  a  c o n t r i b u t e t o women's  feeling  a sense o f  i n w h i c h he h o l d s  respect  others,  a  experiences.  only p a r t l y true.  situations to  t o my own  In  his  sensitivity  fears."  Bob  responsibility  a power p o s i t i o n  rather than a general  is  in  with  sense of  being  protector. In the  experience  interview,  Cam t a l k s  around power.  h a d power o v e r o t h e r s ,  He has  and he  about  held jobs  more m a n l y t o  good o f  people  than to  a weapon a g a i n s t Cam f e e l s others. to  the  protect  his  use  against  theme  feedback,  and t a l k s  he  think,  power...to it  other  the  selfishly  or  as  individuals." good  of  Cam t a k e s a b r o a d e r a p p r o a c h  of  the  frustration that  overwhelming sense of  responsibility  comes to  home and h e a r t h . "  F o r b o t h A l and E v a n , violent  that  I  more a man when he u s e s power f o r t h e  In h i s  f r o m "the  use  i n which  states:  You know, y o u r e a l l y s h o u l d j u s t , it's  a similar  tone.  girlfriend  could k i l l  A l says t h a t , he  this if  theme t a k e s on a someone were t o  "would do e v e r y t h i n g t o  a person i f  I thought  t h e y were  attack  stop t h a t . gonna harm  I  93  someone." Evan d i d not  have comments  theme,  it  but agreed t h a t  back t o says:  his  comments  " i f we g e t  did fit  i n the  order to  protect  is  the  women,  benefit  much m i r r o r e d i n t h e  nor i s  it  Indeed, research  (1976)  part of  most  of  others,  Results,  social  on t h e  interview,  is  about the illustrate  in  being that  towards  others,  the  is  not It  something does not  reviewed  and t h e  to that  appear  masculinity,  f o r the  present  the  negative  personal  construction. As i s  two d i s t i n c t reference  evident  in  elements. to  w h i c h women do n o t  element i s  Don's  (1982) M a s c u l i n e M y s t i q u e .  contextual.  theme has  this  men's  being hurt  negative aspects of  and Don a l l make e x p l i c i t masculine  these  construction of  literature  outcomes o f  this  risk  literature.  construction of masculinity  Manliness  T h e r e he  Cam's and B o b ' s d e s i r e s  O'Neil's  the  focuses  and s o c i a l  to  responsibility  towards  i n Brannon's  refers  others.  sense of  power t o  item.  avoid r i s k . " Both of  suggest a w i l l i n g n e s s  use  this  f o r him and  previous  comments  sensitivity  fit  h u r t p h y s i c a l l y we move on and must  n o t make e x c u s e s t o  This  that  that do.  the A l , Cam,  which  is  In Evan's  i m p l i c i t . When I a s k h i m  ways t h a t men i n t e r a c t , how men w o u l d b e h a v e  he a t t e m p t s  to  by t a l k i n g a b o u t  how  94  women b e h a v e a n d t h e n i n d i c a t i n g t h a t men w o u l d n o t  do  that. F o r b o t h A l and Don, t h i s them t o  s a y what makes them f e e l  about h i s connect  makes i t  experiences  him w i t h h i s  Yea,  it's  sometimes feel  is  just  the  be  just  know,  sense of maleness, that  it's  rule like  I'll  l i k e that  still  at  that  says: because  i n t o u c h w i t h my  if  too.  I feel  always  see  an  exception  a woman a n d she  Um, b u t s o it's,  still  y o u know,  that's  Um, G o d , I d o n ' t know!  can  you  being  what i t  is,  Sometimes,  I j u s t wish gender wasn't  an  issue  all.  Also  i n response  activities, cause  he  so s l i p p e r y  i n t o u c h w i t h my m a l e n e s s  sometimes  asking A l  I do s o m e t h i n g l i k e t h a t w h i c h I  putting myself  I guess.  male. A f t e r  in recreational activities  m a s c u l i n i t y but t h e r e ' s to  problematic for  I've  Don s a y s :  "that  so many f r i e n d s ,  representative makes me f e e l Note t h a t and s o t h i s  t o my q u e s t i o n a b o u t r e c r e a t i o n a l  (I:  is  hard to  female  Yea) so i t ' s  differentiate  friends that  h a r d f o r me t o  aren't say  what  male." they  makes i t  are not  s a y i n g t h a t women do  d i f f i c u l t to  s a y what i t  is  things that  95  m i g h t be t h e o r e t i c a l l y d e f i n e d as m a l e . that, for  when women b e h a v e  them t o  i n a c e r t a i n way,  t h e n s a y what makes difference,  et  t a l k about w i t h r e f e r e n c e  work,  (1986) and t h e  fields  of  idea that  and r e l a t e s  the  it  is  saying hard  male. T h i s  them feel  a significant al.  They a r e  t o what to  Mishkind  the world  e n t r a n c e o f women i n t o  e n d e a v o u r was a c h a l l e n g e  to  is  of  male  masculinity  itself. It  s h o u l d be n o t e d t h a t  the  i d e a o f what i s  his  f e e d b a c k he This  being defined  female.  What d o e s f i t  f o r Bob i s  male changes the  result  o t h e r men's  is  female.  often  In  a  to  the  experience  of  is  confidence,  competence.  This  what is  experience.  c o l l a p s i n g two t h e m e s , of  that  with.  confidence/competence.  concerned assumptions assumptions  of  because  issues blended w e l l .  the  It  in relation  d e p e n d i n g on who one  Assumptions of was t h e  not  with  n o t u s u a l l y o r e v e n v e r y much i n  opposition to  true of  agree  states:  female—but  also  m a l e b e i n g what i s  p a r t I do n o t a g r e e w i t h .  matter of  is  Bob d o e s n o t  the  The two were  This  theme  one o f  which  other collapsed  96  The i m p a c t t h a t varies  somewhat,  elements.  b u t comes  For A l , the  uncomfortable that confidence. as  to  labeled  this  given the  relates  w h e r e i n he has  a core of leaves  as  a burden,  this  to  his  In h i s  time,  he d o e s n o t up f e e l i n g  feel  like  i n his  also  a failure."  expected is  male.  to  In h i s  he  w i t h women only  do w i t h  on d a t e s be  in this  to  feedback t h a t  this  assertive. a r e n a and  theme  also  go-getter. so much  you c a n ' t  cope you  i n t e r v i e w he t a l k s  handle s t r e s s  is  same  He p e r c e i v e s  a s s u m p t i o n "puts If  his  women  "a g u t l e s s w o n d e r . " A t t h e  as w a n t i n g a s e l f - c o n f i d e n t this  has t o  that  confident  u n n e c e s s a r y p r e s s u r e on y o u . like  being  feedback  i n i t i a t o r , to  a more g e n e r a l s o c i a l e x p e c t a t i o n .  Cam s a y s t h a t  that  "a b a b y . "  h i m t o be t h e  he s t a t e s  business  and f e e l s  experiences  r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h women. He f e e l s  s o ends  such  shown h i s more v u l n e r a b l e s i d e  Don's experience w i t h t h i s  However,  essential  him f e e l i n g  impossible task of  "immature" o r  are expecting  h a v e o n t h e men  he d o e s n o t d e m o n s t r a t e  a l w a y s be c o n f i d e n t .  specifically  be  down t o  expectation  Evan f e e l s  a man he i s  expected  such assumptions  and p r e s s u r e  just  of  feel  being  because  he  97  In a l i g h t e r , feeling  but r e l a t e d v e i n ,  embarrassed not  The k n o w l e d g e ,  rules  of  comes w i t h c e r t a i n k i n d s  of  he  y o u know i t  knowing t h e  jokingly  that  is  I don't  definitely  that  This  theme  is  also  present  (1982)  of  1982)  fallout  constant  a connection  competition.  complete  admit t o  is  others  competent.  the  of  means t h a t  o t h e r men a c t u a l l y p e r f o r m a t competition  rule,  that  they  Pleck, that  there  f o r men who do  not  confidence.  Recall  The p r e s e n c e  confidence  1991;  h e r e between t h i s  representativeness.  o f The  and S i l v e r s m i t h ' s  contentions  l i n k b e t w e e n n o t k n o w i n g how one of  (1975) theme  Isenhart  negative  assumption of  There i s that  and  i n both 0 ' N e i l ' s  (Eisler & Blalock,  Skord & Schumacher,  the  expectation  equals  supports  and o t h e r s '  c a n be s i g n i f i c a n t fit  But you  interests."  B i g Wheel. I t  1981;  hockey.  male  M a s c u l i n e M y s t i q u e and B r a n n o n ' s  (1994),  know.  equation of masculine equals  boys'  of  suggests:  hormones o r s o m e t h i n g , know t h e r e  Bob t a l k s  that  fits this  theme  there  was  i n and an stereotype  men may i m a g i n e such a l e v e l .  and a  ethic of that  And i f  t h e n t h e s e men a r e u n l i k e l y are not t o t a l l y  confident  to and  98  F e e l i n g unsure of several  of  the  similarities  is  rules  are.  to  the  of  the  was is  c a r r i e d out 'rules'  Third,  more a b o u t  about the is  initially  that  conflicting deal  of  I believe to the  the  that  know what  the  male  satisfaction  of  seeing  rules.  mentioned  Second,  by  several  expectations  of  of  conflicting  expectations.  the  The p r e s e n t  interactions  and  by o t h e r s .  collapsing  from Bob's  and u n c e r t a i n t y "to be c l e a r  expectations]  here that  as w i t h while  a m b i g u i t y i n male r o l e s ,  be  feedback  rules.  this  other treated.  concerns societal  He s t a t e s  [the  there is  were  the  conflicting  about  latter  o f what  how one w i l l  theme  being  This  one c o n c e r n i n g r u l e s ,  uncertainty of  rules  t h i n k i n g and w o n d e r i n g  ambiguity under the  he wants  expectations.  issue of  An i m p o r t a n t p o i n t  expectations  striking  about  be t r e a t e d  two t h e m e s ,  as  a l t h o u g h no q u e s t i o n  interpersonal  a result  issue of  the  an e x p e r i e n c e  concerning this  the  is  part of  specifically  the  how one w i l l  element i s  First,  according to  many s o c i e t a l  more a b o u t  unsure  was  co-researchers  asked.  has  f o r men i n n e e d i n g  with sports  theme,  conflicting  I would argue t h a t  activities word  theme o f  This  noted,  distinctions.  something  fascination  the  rules.  co-researchers  There are s e v e r a l there  the  is  theme a  of  great  preferable  to  99  h a v i n g some m o n o l i t h i c p o r t r a y a l . " r a t h e r the a single  "constant  assessment" t h a t  d e f i n i t i o n o f what t h e  F o r Cam a n d Don a n d E v a n , and h e n c e w h e t h e r  F o r B o b , he w o u l d  one  is  he r e f e r s  rules  to  o f manhood a r e .  not knowing t h e  going to  be  than  rules,  'penalized'  particular  a c t i o n o r not  is  Early  in  his  interview,  Cam r e f e r s  t h e male e x p e r i e n c e  as  being  one  t a l k about h i s  created  he  a  i n w h i c h "you r e a l l y have t o be c a r e f u l . " He goes  on t o  his  to  difficult.  for  perception of  a wedge b e t w e e n t h e  experience  of  sexes.  feminism having When I a s k h i m a b o u t  b e i n g on t h e m a l e s i d e  of  this  wedge  says: You have t o alienated this  be c a u t i o u s  and a h , y o u f e e l  or people,  Don t a l k s  of  way t o b e h a v e .  certain  y o u know,  experience and h i s  He a l s o  talks  that  confusion  the  rules  are present.  but speak  He s a y s t h a t  are  about the  a b o u t o t h e r men t h a t  s e e s who a r e c o p i n g by b e i n g s e x i s t when i t ' s who a r e a r o u n d ,  You  out.  his  changing,  have  arm's l e n g t h .  b r i n g them i n so y o u ' r e ,  you're missing  constantly  at  feel  you have t o  w a l l a r o u n d y o u and keep  individuals, can't  and y o u  i n feminist  right he  o n l y men  t o n e s when women  " u n t i l we have some  agreement  100  o v e r w h a t ' s a p p r o p r i a t e , um, i t ' s somebody." going to  It  seems c l e a r  be one o f  the  gonna be t o u g h  from h i s  interview  o n e s f o r whom i t  is  for  that  he  going to  is be  tough. Evan a l s o t a l k s sides  d e p e n d i n g on t h e  frustrated, losing  out  he i s  to  is  to  not  the  figure  out  something  is  of  being  being  feel  about c e r t a i n t r a i t s  able  to  meanings  more d e e p l y  and f e e l i n g s  the  that,  literature,  question  experience  see  that  He a l s o e x p e r i e n c e s  supported i n the nature of  company t h e y  the  collapsing of  specifically originally  about  called  As w i t h t h e that  the  that  solely  he seems t o  keep to  an e x p e c t a t i o n  that  rules. in this  form,  is the  asked h e r e .  what  that  In a s k i n g  experience  two t h e m e s ,  light.  the  we  are  and  the  the  result  one o f w h i c h was  and one o f  theme,  they  it.  theme i s  'my o p i n i o n s h o u l d  i n a negative  comes  go a l o n g w i t h  images,  both  is  or c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s ,  images,  plethora of  He  a man, r a t h e r t h a n how  into  previous  "play  presumably because of  The many images o f men. T h i s of  keep."  t h e s e t y p e s o f men when i t  supposed This  o t h e r men who c a n  and i n d e e d b i t t e r ,  d a t i n g women.  the  about  which  was  count'.  Bob r e p e a t s  a  ambiguity,  not  F o r him i t  concern be  seen  p r e s e n t s many  101  potentials.  He e x p r e s s e s a c o n c e r n i n h i s  he n o t be p o r t r a y e d  "as  if  the  fragmented. about h i s  o f t h e s e many images It  is  also  that  g r o w i n g up m a l e i n t h i s so y e a h , to  keep him w h o l e ,  leaves  his  once.  Al  there  notes that  t o men. He a l s o  him f e e l i n g expresses  son needs t o  society,  not  he  he  it's  let  know a b o u t  says: [about]  trying  h i m be t o r n images  a r e many images says,  apart a n d be  that  i n response  "well,  and t h e y  suggesting  nobody e v e r a s k e d me,  he i s  that  he d o e s n o t  see  experience  n e v e r a s k e d a b o u t how he f e e l s .  a n d how l i t t l e  of  a  as  himself represented  Cam t a l k a b o u t how much r e s e a r c h i s women,  or people take  n e v e r a s k me." I i n t e r p r e t e d t h i s  such m a t e r i a l s . Evan echoes t h i s that  project,  i n r e a d i n g a b o u t men a n d i s s u e s o f m a s c u l i n i t y he  thinks poll  are  t o my  a s k i n g why he w a n t e d t o be i n v o l v e d w i t h t h e that  that  a n s w e r t o my q u e s t i o n  to balance a l l these  everything at  available  his  I mean, I t h i n k  by t r y i n g  interview is  a concern that  s o n . A t t h e end o f  a b o u t what he f e e l s  the  by w h i c h I c a n m e a s u r e  What seems c l e a r f r o m h i s  presence  that  what I am l o o k i n g f o r i s  one t r u e image o f m a l e n e s s myself."  feedback  in  feeling  B o t h Bob a n d  b e i n g done o n  on men. Bob s a y s t h a t when he  saw  102  the  poster  f o r the present  "now t h e r e ' s that  a study that  f o r him, seeing  s t u d y he s a i d t o  himself:  needs t o be d o n e . " Cam s a y s  a l l the  r e s e a r c h o n women, he  ends  up f e e l i n g m i s u n d e r s t o o d . Cam a l s o portrayals  talks  leaves  feels  him f e e l i n g  his  path that  is  He f i n d s  of  conclude that  many images  He a l s o  some t r u t h  he i s  'bimboes'.  to  this  theme,  in  concerned He i m a g i n e s  A l , B o b , Cam, a n d Don  t h e most i m p o r t a n t r e s p o n s e look within oneself  seems r i g h t f o r o n e s e l f ,  to  and p u r s u e  regardless  these the  of  perceptions.  theme o f f e r s  a keen i n s i g h t  themes,  I believe  it  is  this  plethora of  c o n c o m i t a n t consumer goods, force of  that  i n t o our c u l t u r e .  a n d h e r e I am d r a w i n g p a r t i a l l y  Bob made, t h a t  driving  buffoons.  the p o r t r a y a l s demeaning.  As w i t h s e v e r a l o f t h e  its  feels  e x p e r i e n c e w o u l d be s i m i l a r t o what women  In context  argue,  see  same way t h a t  p o r t r a y a l s o f women as  would e x p e r i e n c e .  others'  He  a n g r y and a l i e n a t e d .  w o r r i e d t h a t young p e o p l e w i l l  about the  all  and r a d i o .  p o r t r a y a l s a r e o f men as  these p o r t r a y a l s i n the  that  l e n g t h about the contemporary  o f men on t e l e v i s i o n  t h a t many o f t h e This  at  that  I would  on comments images,  that  each w i t h  constitutes  our c a p i t a l i s t consumerist  this  the  society.  103  The v a r i e t y o f unsure o f  images  ourselves.  m o t o r c y c l e and t h e the  c o n d o and t h e  on t h e  tends to  keep us o f f  S h o u l d we be t h e  leather speed  jacket,  boat?  camping g e a r .  not q u i t e  fit,  again.  but i t  likely start  the  c e r t a i n l y a boon f o r t h e  male r e l a t i o n s h i p s character. positive,  bygones,  the  i n c l u d i n g the  contact.  In h i s  relationships  d w e l l on s o m e t h i n g  Hm) You know,  know how,  about  'I  some o f  bygones  As w e l l ,  emotional  sharing.  friendships  he  unnecessarily.  we d o n ' t  o v e r and o v e r reflect  interacting.  need  be  he  I  1  here a l s o  ways o f  emotional  I u n d e r s t a n d . You know, we know we  confirm this  women's  on m a l e -  entirely  share your f e e l i n g s ,  understand each o t h e r ,  H i s comments  economy.  nature of  past.  likely  mental  focuses  men l e t  lack of  I n r e s p o n d i n g t o my q u e s t i o n You d o n ' t  is  intermittent  about the  with  process  on t h e i r  experience  and do n o t d w e l l on t h e  positively  (I:  theme  and, i n general,  For Evan,  the  settle  W h a t e v e r we c h o o s e w i l l  and we w i l l  is  yuppie  and  B i r k e n s t o c k s and  Of men and f r i e n d s h i p . T h i s  talks  or the  D i s e n c h a n t m e n t may n o t be good f o r  health,  the  rocker with  Or p e r h a p s w e ' l l  environmentalist with the  expensive  balance  to  again. a frustration with  says:  104  Bob a n d Don make r e f e r e n c e r e m a r k when t h e y  have an e m o t i o n a l l y  i n t e r a c t i o n with another male. in  to the  fact  that  they  intimate  They d o ,  however,  engage  such i n t e r a c t i o n s w i t h male f r i e n d s .  Cam s a y s  that  he w o u l d n o t be c o m f o r t a b l e t a l k i n g i n t i m a t e l y w i t h a n o t h e r man "because way a n d e i t h e r envious  have y o u . " A t t h e  o f women who "seem t o  sistership,  this  L i k e Evan, intermittent  is  It's of  friends.  Cam i s  also  satisfied  contact with friends.  not.  just  to  I have y e t  with  s o many p e o p l e t h a t I think  I  say:  just  fall  'well then,  because  me o r  I'm not  y o u know make a ,  friendship that  s u r v i v e s minor  and t h i n g s  that.  like  that  with  s o r t o f makes me  it's  I ' m m a l e I d o n ' t know, t h a t and r e l a t e  out  r e l a t i o n s h i p ' and  t h e i r f r i e n d s ? So i t  whether i t ' s  he s a y s  that  a l o n e . " Don,  how come o t h e r p e o p l e do k e e p c o n t a c t  connect  to  his  Indeed,  following to  must n o t be a v e r y c l o s e  feel  is  huge  go t h r o u g h l i f e  He has t h e  c o n t a c t w i t h so  more o f  he  this  this."  "almost c o n t e n t  however,  same t i m e ,  have t h i s  huge g r o u p o f  meet a man who has  he i s  he has n e v e r b e e n b r o u g h t up  because able  to  a  inconveniences  105  An i n t e r e s t i n g comment t h a t b o t h A l a n d Don make in t h e i r interviews t h a n men as he has neck,  that  e a c h o f them has more women  friends. A l finds  this  frustrating,  saying  " p l a t o n i c r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h women up t o my t o o many. I ' m g e t t i n g  L a t e r he f o l l o w s if  is  s i c k and t i r e d  up o n t h i s  and s a y s :  of  them."  "I know s o m e t i m e s  I s p e n d t o o much t i m e w i t h t o o much o f my f e m a l e  friends,  I get  t i r e d of  c o m p a n i o n s h i p . " He i s means,  he s a y s he  tentatively  them a n d I r e a l l y s e e k o u t  not d e f i n i t e  a b o u t what  but  says:  together  if  this  " c a n ' t p u t a f i n g e r on i t " ,  I d o n ' t know. Sometimes when we  way,  male  I  just,  I change.  it's  [men]  immediately I,  I think  get in a  sometimes I d o n ' t know  I ' m n e c e s s a r i l y more a r r o g a n t b u t maybe  cockier  a n d , urn, I j u s t  laugh at other people,  find  it  easier  maybe l a u g h a t  w e a k n e s s e s o r j u s t make j o k e s  to their  about t h i n g s  in  general. Perhaps A l i s less  serious  talking  saying that  when he i s  that  things  w i t h men. E v a n e c h o e s t h i s  a b o u t how men r e l a t e .  it's  he f e e l s  He s a y s :  l i k e when a guy b r i n g s up a p r o b l e m y o u  know one o f  the  o t h e r guys m i g h t s u g g e s t  a  are in  106  solution into  and t h e n a n o t h e r guy m i g h t t u r n  a j o k e and t h e n y o u move on t o  the  it next  problem. T h e s e comments their  suggest that  interactions  t h e s e two men  experience  w i t h o t h e r men as more  light-hearted  t h a n t h o s e w i t h women. These r e s u l t s Clark's share  (1985)  intimate  tend to  support Sherrod,  conclusion that  men w i l l  Cohen and  tend not  to  i n f o r m a t i o n w i t h o t h e r men. T h e i s s u e  of  men s h a r i n g more w i t h women i s  t a k e n up b e l o w .  We a l s o  find  men do n o t  out  support f o r the  idea that  seek  i n t i m a c y w i t h o t h e r men, b u t r a t h e r c o m p a n i o n s h i p , someone t o  do t h i n g s  explicitly,  with.  saying that  Evan r e f e r s  "some o f  the,  to  this  y o u know,  best  t a l k i n g y o u have y o u know i n a f r i e n d s h i p m i g h t go d u r i n g an a c t i v i t y . " referring around  penchant  also  reflects  tangentially,  activities  twice  more,  for structuring friendship  is  typically " r i t e of  Messner's  that  boyish,  (1987)  conclusion,  what men s e e k i n  companionship.  played semi-professional  a  this  activities.  This albeit  t o men's  He r e t u r n s t o  on  Interestingly,  hockey,  and t h a t  refers  to  growing out o f  p a s s a g e " f o r men.  sporting Cam, who this this  need need  as is  107  O n l y Bob t a l k s explicitly refer  to  about the  i n context  the  fact  of  issue of  friendships,  homosexuality a l t h o u g h Don d o e s  t h a t men " d o n ' t t o u c h t h a t m u c h . " Bob  grew up i n a c u l t u r e i n w h i c h he b e l i e v e s couldn't  have t h a t  (I:  o k a y . " L a t e r he s a y s : heterosexuality kinds of  Hm) e x p e r i e n c e , "So,  was t h e r e  relationships.  it  is  And t h e y  f e e d b a c k he s p e a k s  of  "the  social  relations/expectations  l i k e the  discussion of  be  assumption  of  certain  gendered c h a r a c t e r o f  of  f o r the  heterosexuality  homosexuality  it  which i n c o r p o r a t e both  may be t h a t  s u c h an a s s u m p t i o n o f  "just  have them w i t h women."  homophobic e l e m e n t s and p r e s u m p t i o n s It  he  and have  and t h a t men h a v e  In h i s  heterosexuality."  that  o t h e r men,  precludes  i n context  of  the  male  friendships. Men,  women and r o m a n c e .  romance h e r e ,  r a t h e r than sex,  feedback  from the  explicit  i n suggesting  theme r e s u l t e d the  of  hand i s  the  the  a sense t h a t  w h i c h was  collapsing of  sense of  when n o t  a result  i n c l u s i o n of  f r o m b e i n g w i t h women,  confidence  as  co-researchers  from the  one h a n d i s  derive  I have i n c l u d e d t h e w o r d  quite  two t h e m e s .  affirmation that and t h e  have o f  the  s a i d word.  the  On t h e power  This On  they  concomitant  in a relationship.  several  of  lack other  that  108  women have i n t h e i r  lives  as  a result  b e i n g a b l e t o p r o v i d e forms o f cannot  find  Fasteau's  elsewhere.  (1975)  needing the  This  comments  opposite  sex  of  the  support that  element  women t h e men  strongly  echoes  about the Male Machine t o manage t h o s e unknown i n n e r  circuits. In t a l k i n g about male women as above  a c t i n g as  he d o e s n o t  friendships,  confidants feel  that  in his  life.  he c a n have an  c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h a man. He t h e n s a y s : c a n w i t h women.  of  needing  self-confidence findings  of  as  a woman t o  (1987)  is  the  looking  at  here.  that  they  that  element  the  they  review that  to  power t h a t  a r e aware o f w i t h women.  research reviewed  Review suggests t h a t antithetical  "any woman  the  feeling social  a type  of  of  the  men t e n d  really  He  sense  support  to  do w i t h men. bears  What b o t h Cam and E v a n seem t o  experience  majority of  of  powerful  reinforce his  a man. T h e s e comments  Sherrod's  It  is  certainly  she w a n t s . "  s h a r e more i n t i m a t e l y w i t h women t h a n t h e y  saying  noted  "But I  if  to  intimate  v e r y p o w e r f u l . " Evan s a y s :  c a n h a v e me w r a p p e d a r o u n d h e r f i n g e r talks  As  That's very important, a very  t h i n g women h a v e ,  also  Cam r e f e r s  be  dependence  T h e y n e e d women. The i n the L i t e r a t u r e  a sense o f  dependence  construction of  is  masculinity.  109  What t h e s e men a r e s a y i n g i s dependence  is  very  suggestion  this  sense  leaves  that  him b i t t e r .  he h e a r s  in this  He i s  that his  is  t h a t women c a n e a s i l y  he n e e d s t h e m . feeling  feeling  l i k e a good l o v e r .  F o r Don, h i s  This  theme,  protector.  patriarchy  on t h e  connects  power t h a t  and i t s  these r e s u l t s  but i t  a  relationships  importance of themes  of  and  I am  i m p o r t a n c e and  t h e s e men a s c r i b e t o women. A n d the  power a r e t h e r e f o r e point to  a need t o  it.  critiques false,  I  of feel  acknowledge  that  power i n r e l a t i o n s h i p t o men. they  seems c l e a r t h a t  t h e s e men r e c o g n i s e  his  been  c o n f l i c t i n g expectations,  may n o t be a power t h a t  want,  about  he has  with the  s u r p r i s e d , by t h e  women do have a f o r m o f It  that  romantic  a l t h o u g h I would not conclude t h a t  that  explicit  Throughout these i n t e r v i e w s ,  although not  sometimes  focus  lives,  economic r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ,  struck,  He i s  in  confidence.  with i t s  women i n t h e s e m e n ' s  man as  power women h a v e i s  lack of  him w i t h a l a c k o f  his  c o n t r o l him and  more c o n f i d e n t when he f e e l s  good l o v e r . leaves  For A l , the  angry about  c u l t u r e t h a t men  a r e i n c o n t r o l . A t an i n t e r p e r s o n a l l e v e l , experience  of  real.  F o r Evan t h i s the  that  it  asked f o r , is  there,  or  even  and t h a t  110  This that  suggestion  o f women's power i s  I h e a r from male c l i e n t s  In t h a t  context  given that  the  it  always  sort of  seems a v e r y d e l i c a t e  power t h a t  At the  same t i m e  a c k n o w l e d g i n g t h e men's  something  i n my t h e r a p y p r a c t i c e .  t h e s e male  h o l d o v e r t h e women i n t h e i r l i v e s t o do v i o l e n c e .  also  is  and t h e n e n c o u r a g i n g them t o  stop  clients  u s u a l l y the  I wonder  experience  competent  both that  at  w h i c h he i s sense t h a t  o f women's  power,  giving that  power  a l l times,  and t h a t t h e r e  he w o u l d be r e s e n t f u l , is  P o s i t i v e changes. Bob and Cam o n l y . important to  It  Al rigid,  enjoys  the  lives  theme was  these  whole might  safer,  go  and  s u p p o r t e d by A l ,  i n c l u d e d because  acknowledge t h a t  discussed  in society  in  jail. This  is  and c o n t e m p o r a r y v o i c e experiences  If  makes  even a n g r y , a t  address these issues  k e e p i n g more men o u t o f  it  not a n y t h i n g l i k e the  some o f t h e way t o m a k i n g women's  was  are areas  n o t c o m p e t e n t where women a r e ,  but to  women.  he must be c o n f i d e n t a n d  women. C e r t a i n l y t h i s story,  power  if  away, m i g h t r e d u c e t h e i r u s e o f power a g a i n s t a man f e e l s  issue  of  there  hope t h a t  I felt is  a  that  specific  sounds t h r o u g h t h e  here.  experience  it  of the  l e a v i n g h i m w i t h more o p t i o n s .  roles  being  less  This  takes  us  Ill  back t o  his  experience  o p e n i n g up t h e whom he w i l l "it  conflicting  possibility  fit.  He i s  of  for personal  Bob t a l k s child.  also excited  all  one o f  the  fun.  a child  things  that  thinks  better  that  he has  that  has  with  aren't  is  You know, really  You know i t ' s  that  opportunities  reference to  He t a l k s as  to  be c u d d l y , of  the  the  expressive  he i s  entirely  behaviour with other  men.  just  a  all  o p e n i n g up o f  "touchy  result  more e m o t i o n a l l y  to  there.  He a l s o a p p r e c i a t e s  as y e t  and w a t c h i n g  removal of  a positive  supposed  Bathing  the  Cam makes  there  I mean t h e r e ' s .  great.  happens  that  they're  Feeding a c h i l d  stuff  been  a man, t h a t  fun time.  not  uh-huh)  n e a t a b o u t b e i n g a Dad i s these things  really  movement.  (I:  opportunities  be i d e n t i f y i n g w i t h b e i n g  employment  b e c a u s e he  He s a y s :  kind of  child.  as  growth."  about the  You know,  is  expectations  h i m f i n d i n g a woman w i t h  c a n p r o v i d e more f l e x i b i l i t y  chances  his  of  of  the  feely" with  restrictions the  a around  feminist  opportunity to  although,  as  noted  comfortable with that  be  above, sort  of  112  M a l e o r human t r a i t ? Bob o r E v a n . points into the  to  line,  the  issues  indeed there  that  underlies  is  one,  and human e x p e r i e n c e ?  theme o f  arose  the  feeling  fit  because I f e e l  and g e n d e r e d e x p e r i e n c e .  if  experience  theme d i d n o t  I have i n c l u d e d i t  one o f  gender  This  for  that  it  research  That i s ,  where  is  between male It  representative  also connects and t h e  to  issues  that  points,  of  there. Al,  Cam a n d Don a l l t a l k ,  b e i n g u n c l e a r how much o f and how much i s concludes  that  just his  their  different  experience  about b e i n g a p e r s o n .  experience  he grew up i n t h a n h i s masculinity  at  is  the  more a b o u t t h e  nature/nurture  His undergraduate t r a i n i n g i s  i n biology  wonders  how m u c h ,  "whether w i t h t r a i t s , or not."  m i g h t be i n n a t e about h i s  not  an  tends to  indeed confused issue issues  is of  male t r a i t s  own m a s c u l i n i t y  g e n d e r was This  His lack of  tied the  leads  maleness  Don  b e i n g a man. A l t a l k s  i n context of  is...learned  is  family  about debate.  and s o  he  what  c l a r i t y a r o u n d what him t o  be  confused  and he ends up w i s h i n g  that  issue. support the  a b o u t what  it  up w i t h b i o l o g y , men as  persons.  notion that means  to  men a r e  be m a l e .  with family,  The  and w i t h  A l t h o u g h he d o e s  not  113  support the Bob makes  theme  itself,  i n summing up o u r  an i n t e r e s t i n g  I mean, we came t o is  to  it  is,  statement.  masculinity,  is  to  a l l that  w o u l d be h a r d f o r me t o answers  says:  t a l k t o d a y a b o u t what  be a man, what i t  complete  He  interview  to  be a m a l e , stuff.  ever  give  what  And i t  you  those questions  without  t e l l i n g y o u e v e r y moment and e v e r y t h i n g remember, into  and my e n t i r e  autobiography  I  plays  that.  P a r t o f what makes t h e to  tease out  is  as  is  that  issues of masculinity  they  difficult  a r e s o e n t w i n e d w i t h who  one  a person. B e i n g p e r c e i v e d as  one o f  the  i n A l ' s interview supported t h i s of  it  t h e minor themes.  unable to  It  is  victimizers.  theme,  unfortunate that  r e a c h h i m f o r f o l l o w up as  this  theme  is  This  otherwise  extremely  thus  the  strong i n the  it I  is  one  was  support  other  Nothing  for  interviews.  m i g h t have b e e n q u a l i f i e d as  a major  theme. This of  theme  is  being unsure of  related to  some e x t e n t t o  the  As w e l l ,  rules.  men who s u p p o r t e d t h i s  theme  images  the  of white  men as  all  t a l k e d about  quintessential  the  theme  four of  the  encountering victimizer.  114  Bob t e l l s  a story of  l i b r a r y where he i s A little talking 'well,  girl  s i t t i n g with his  t o me a b o u t h e r b o o k and I  thought  is  c o o l b e h a v i o u r , so  uncomfortable with t h i s girl  and had a l i t t l e  w i t h h e r w h i c h was  came t o  the  notion that,  situation, potential  out o f  threat  feelings  resentment society  uh-huh) But I  uh-huh)  and that  the  t h a t you pose t o c h i l d r e n  men a r e p o t e n t i a l  Bob's  (I:  the  u h , t o be a man i n  hm) women. And t h e rapists  and a l l men a r e  victimizers  (I:  earshot.  I think...exacerbates  and um ( I :  molesters  retrieve  talking to  just  her  obviously  h e a r d t h e word s t r a n g e r t w i c e just  I'll  and I s t a r t e d t a l k i n g t o  And h e r mother q u i t e  in  son: started  this  w a l k e d up t o me,  girl  she  support t h i s ' back.  encountering a l i t t l e  i n one way o r  about t h i s ,  idea that  and p o t e n t i a l  all child  potential another.  when I a s k h i m , a r e  and "awkwardness a b o u t t h e m e a n i n g s  has p l a c e d on t h a t  (I:  of that  u h - h u h ) , on b e i n g  man. " Cam's r e a c t i o n t o t h i s potential  aggressors  is  to  idea of feel  a l l men b e i n g  alienated,  a  the  115  m i s u n d e r s t o o d and o f f e n d e d . none o f  his  f r i e n d s a r e t h a t way.  h i m away f r o m o t h e r s his  and l e a v e s  interactions with  men's like  and f e e l s  F o r him t h i s  him f e e l i n g  b o t h s a d and a l i t t l e He t h e n s a y s :  bit  He a l s o  feels  that  he i s  Thus,  it  is  behaviour,  modulate h i s  reduce the  l i k e l i h o o d of  aggressor.  He s a y s t h a t  others he's  g e t t i n g wound up i n s i d e . " T h i s  this  given  and s o o n ,  change  p e r c e i v i n g h i m as  urn, t h a t  his  i n order  "so o b s e s s e d w i t h ,  s e n d i n g o u t wrong s i g n a l s ,  about  s e e n as more  i n c u m b e n t on h i m t o voice,  than  it's...not  by b e i n g m a l e I ' m d i r e c t l y c o n t r i b u t i n g t o  situation.  to an  with  I e n d up  e c h o e s Cam's  experience  f e e l i n g guarded. Evan f e e l s  of  guarded i n  guilty  "but  t h r e a t e n i n g t h a n a woman w o u l d be i n any  of  pushes  t h a t men a r e more a g g r e s s i v e  greater violence.  thing."  not  Results,  others.  Don a c k n o w l e d g e s women,  As n o t e d i n t h e  falsely  a c c u s e d a n d b l a m e d by t h e  image  man as v i c t i m i z e r . I n r e s p o n d i n g t o my q u e s t i o n  a b o u t what he w i l l up m a l e he  want t o t e l l  his  son about growing  says:  I ' d want h i m t o b e i n g male i s n ' t you always  know t h a t urn, t h a t y o u know, some k i n d o f  hear. That,  disease  uh, i t ' s  like  something you  116  know t h a t  b e i n g male i s  something  n o r m a l no m a t t e r what t h e uh t h e culture's  telling  Evan l a t e r r e f e r s that  he f e e l s  to  perfectly mass  us.  his  heterosexuality  he must c o v e r u p , b e c a u s e  as it  something is  somehow  disgusting. Clearly result  of  this  instructive of  t h e s e men e x p e r i e n c e  image o f man as v i c t i m i z e r . I t  to place this  men as p r o t e c t o r s .  spoke o f  fears  ones from harm,  talks the  to  literature reflects  the  specifically Blalock,  is  at times,  t h e i r own  obvious. to  give  theme  to loved  safety.  Indeed,  up t r y i n g  note  i d e a o f man as  the  degree  aggressor,  if  man as v i c t i m i z e r ( B r a n n o n , Fasteau,  is  men's Evan to  do  this  'disease'.  reviewed i n the L i t e r a t u r e  1991;  the  co-researchers  g i v e n how s t r o n g he f e e l s  i n t e r e s t i n g to as  of  t h e v i c t i m i z e r image a n d t h e  image t h a t men have a is  r i s k of  be p r o t e c t o r s  about wanting,  It  is  u s e power r e s p o n s i b l y ,  even a t the  right thing,  case the  a  o f women, a n d t o p r o t e c t t h e i r  The c o n f l i c t between own e f f o r t s  theme i n c o n t e x t  In t h a t  t h e i r desire to  lessen the  g r e a t p a i n as  1975;  O'Neil,  to which  the  Review not 1976;  1982).  Eisler &  Thus,  this  117  image a r i s e s the  from m u l t i p l e o r i g i n s ,  p o l e m i c a l work i n men's An e x c e p t i o n  is  i n c l u d i n g much o f  studies.  Ian H a r r i s ' s  (1994)  recent  "Men as  S t a n d a r d B e a r e r s " . H e r e he c r i t i q u e s  general  focus  presents  his  conceptions  on t h e  negative  own r e s u l t s  feel  that  of  options  allow people's  this  strongly  images  critique.  a need f o r  images  and t h a t  i n c o r p o r a t e more  positive  o f men.  Implications  for Counselling  When I b e g a n t h i s  study,  I was t a l k i n g w i t h one  my f e m a l e c o l l e a g u e s  at the  work as  While  I was t e l l i n g h e r a b o u t  s t u d y she  i n t e r r u p t e d me a n d s a i d  a therapist.  idea behind t h i s something l i k e : issues.  I always  woman i s  therapist.  a d d i c t i o n s c e n t r e where  "I have n e v e r t h o u g h t a b o u t assumed t h a t  and t h e y were d o i n g j u s t this  such  negative  t o y o u n g men g r o w i n g u p ,  imagination to  and  gentleness  I agree w i t h H a r r i s ' s  the presence  present  studies  courage,  image o f man as v i c t i m i z e r i n d i c a t e s that  the  indicate support for  o f manhood as b r a v e r y ,  and s u p p o r t f o r o t h e r s . I  that  i n men's  article  the  fine."  It  I the  men's  b o y s were t h e  boys  s h o u l d be n o t e d  a h i g h l y s k i l l e d and v e r y  of  sensitive  that  118  What t h i s t e l l s me i s t h a t we do need t o be aware as t h e r a p i s t s t h a t , when a man i s i n our o f f i c e , he i s a gendered  i n d i v i d u a l , w i t h needs and f e a r s and  concerns t h a t r e s u l t from h i s b e i n g male. We must a v o i d the assumptions  of t r a d i t i o n a l s o c i o l o g i c a l research  wherein men were seen as t h e norm. Otherwise, we w i l l f a i l t o see them as impacted  by t h e i r gender. And j u s t  as I would encourage a l l t h e r a p i s t s , and s p e c i f i c a l l y men,  t o l e a r n about women's i s s u e s and t h e p a r t i c u l a r  c o n s t r a i n t s t h a t women encounter  i n their lives, I  would encourage a l l t h e r a p i s t s , and s p e c i f i c a l l y women, t o f a m i l i a r i z e themselves  w i t h t h e c o n s t r a i n t s t h a t men  f a c e i n t h e i r l i v e s . I t i s important f o r us t o be aware t h a t men e x p e r i e n c e e x p e c t a t i o n s i n t h i s c u l t u r e . I t i s important f o r us t o be aware t h a t t h e r e e x i s t s t e r e o t y p e s o f white h e t e r o s e x u a l men i n t h i s and t h a t these s t e r e o t y p e s a r e tremendously  culture,  insidious  because they seem l i k e such g i v e n s . And they seem t h a t way  because f o r so l o n g such men have been accepted as  g i v e n , as t h e norm. T h i s i s e s p e c i a l l y t r u e when d e a l i n g w i t h t h e i s s u e o f a l c o h o l i s m (Burda, Tushup & Hackman, 1992; I s e n h a r t & S i l v e r s m i t h , 1994; Lemle & Mishkind, 1989; R i t t e r & C o l e , 1992). From my e x p e r i e n c e i n t h e f i e l d  119  and i n t h e is  completion of  important to  acknowledge  have i n a d m i t t i n g t h a t competent  i n the  we n e e d t o  face  them t o  intimacy that sober.  of  life  that  t h e y were  have n o t b e e n  alcohol.  is  at the  they  specific  believe  alcohol alcohol  a level  them when t h e y  us as  therapists  the  such u n d e r l y i n g e x p e r i e n c e .  keep o u r e a r s  the  open f o r e l e m e n t s o f  therapy i t s e l f ,  about not b e i n g  of  this  a b e s t buddy a b o u t i n t i m a t e t o p i c s ,  feeling  therapeutic  that  we as  if  results  there  w h i l e Cam s p o k e  easy to t a l k t o .  Cam and Don a l l s p o k e o f  the  use  able he  As w e l l ,  our b a s i c  seems t o  said  A l and  interview experience  and h e l p f u l . T h i s  therapists  the  o f men.  practice of  he f o u n d me q u i t e  to  It  research.  that  as  t o be s e n s i t i v e  the  speak t o  the  male  implications of  to  are  o r won b i g ,  a r e two s p e c i f i c First,  of  them i n e s c a p i n g  these elements o f  gendered experiences  In terms o f  that  to.  p o s s i b i l i t y of us t o  it  wholly  role that  have n o t a c h i e v e d ,  allows  that  as men. F o r many men,  not a v a i l a b l e t o  B e i n g aware o f  encourages  I also  i n t e r a c t w i t h o t h e r men a t  supposed  experience  I believe  d i f f i c u l t y t h a t men may  F o r many men a l c o h o l a i d s  reality  the  they  study,  the  l o o k more c l o s e l y  has p l a y e d i n t h e i r allows  this  as  indicate  therapeutic  120  skills  well,  that  Perhaps the  men do h a v e t h e  finding that  seek c o u n s e l l i n g " has is  as much t o as  it  capacity  "men a r e g e n e r a l l y  do w i t h men's p e r c e p t i o n o f  does about t h e  reality  of  the  framing the  therapeutic  showing  hesitant  experience  workshops  a willingness  p.240)  what  therapy  found  more i n t e r m s  and c o u r s e s ,  to  therapeutic  R o b e r t s o n and F i t z g e r a l d (1992)  goals,  open u p .  ( R o b e r t s o n & F i t z g e r a l d , 1992,  experience.  tasks,  to  that of  l e d t o more men  to  involve  themselves  in  the  of  themes c o u l d p r o v i d e m e n ' s  experience. Second,  this  set  groups w i t h a s t a r t i n g  point  article  counselling,  on men s e e k i n g  Fitzgerald  (1992)  t h e r a p y need t o more d e e p l y Mystique. this the to  for discussion.  suggest that  be d e v e l o p e d  influenced  I believe  the  t r a d i t i o n a l forms o f  Implications In terms first  for Future of  themes t h a t  o f manhood as  are  resulted  an  from  exploring alternative  therapy.  Research  recommendations  and f o r e m o s t  of  (1982) M a s c u l i n e  r e s e a r c h c o u l d p r o v i d e a framework f o r m e a n i n g and e x p e r i e n c e  forms  a p p e a l t o men who  by O ' N e i l ' s  that  their  R o b e r t s o n and  alternative  to  In  I believe  that  for it  future is  of  research, considerable  121  importance that the  more q u a l i t a t i v e  e x p l o r a t i o n o f men and m a s c u l i n i t y .  Wallace  (1994),  research,  that  that  is  beginning to  just  appeals present  attitudes they  attitudes their  'fit  in'  towards  social  of  rules,  beliefs  men i n t h e  points  is  to  an a r e a  As s u c h ,  fair  game.  as w o r t h y  effect  as men and t h e themselves, the  is  of  that  this  has  on  about has  how on  i n c l u d i n g such i s s u e s  and c h a n g i n g  and t h e i r b e h a v i o u r i n t h e aspects of the  as  between men's  expectations  of masculinity;  Areas  women's  impact t h i s  relationship  positive  any  of  women; men's b e l i e f s  conflicting  about the  constructions  be e x p l o r e d .  and t h e  towards  self-esteem;  experience  men's s t u d i e s  a researcher  project  lives  B o r s t and  masculinity  i n c l u d e : men's e x p e r i e n c e  power i n t h e i r their  i n time,  to  Good,  in  recommendation.  point  investigation  about  review of  At t h i s  the  well  in their  make a s i m i l a r  area that  world;  men's  social  impact of  p o p u l a r m e d i a on i n d i v i d u a l  images  men's  of  beliefs  themselves. Finally,  I believe  that  more and v a r i e d p o p u l a t i o n s in others. the  work be u n d e r t a k e n  A good example  work t h e  of  anthropologist  work needs t o o f men i n t h i s what  be done  c o u n t r y and  I am t h i n k i n g o f  David Gilmore  with  (Gilmore,  is  122  1990).  C o m p a r i s o n s b e t w e e n and w i t h i n c u l t u r e s  serve to and  deepen  our a p p r e c i a t i o n of  both  can  only  similarities  differences.  Conclusion In the  i n t r o d u c t i o n I spoke  of  research held both a personal  and a  interest  to  briefly  f o r me.  I would l i k e  about the  impact t h a t  had on me b o t h as As a man, researchers, was.  have c e a s e d t o w o n d e r . as  a man. I f e e l I also  that  the  society that  feel  this I  is  feel  castrati  were p r e v e n t e d out  perform.  of  But the  peace w i t h  i n my m a n ' s  exist  I feel  in  very  as women.  I  skin.  than I d i d i n the that  I  myself  past  our strongly  dismantling those structures as w e l l  has  how r e p r e s e n t a t i v e  here  structures  will  I am r e m i n d e d  1 8 t h C e n t u r y E u r o p e a n o p e r a . Women  from s i n g i n g  the  research  l i k e my c o -  more a t  I belong  men,  of  by t a l k i n g  a common e x p e r i e n c e ,  h u r t b o t h women and men.  benefit  this  therapist.  I,  more s t r o n g l y  working towards  the  kept  like  patriarchal  genuinely of  that  a  that  professional  conclude  u s e d t o wonder a b o u t  Having found t h a t  fact  doing t h i s  a man and as  I realise  the  limelight cost to  i n these operas,  and d e n i e d the  a chance  c a s t r a t i was  thus to  their  being  123  testicles  and t h e i r c h a n c e t o be f a t h e r s  and  The s y s t e m p u n i s h e d b o t h women and men, as  lovers.  it  does  today. Finally,  I am aware o f  men, where o n c e or  fear,  or both.  competitors It  is  work as  I felt  a good d e a l o f  I perceive  now and more as this  final  a therapist.  having a "soft  either  point that  is  most germane t o my  Now when a man e n t e r s  I  expectations. his  desire  l i k e he i s  faced with  seriously  his  t o be t h e  provider.  I  suffered.  Because  also  my  his I  acts,  take  someone who has  as  human b e i n g s .  committed o t h e r c r i m i n a l  w h e t h e r he f e e l s  for  contempt  o t h e r men l e s s  who has b e e n p h y s i c a l l y a b u s i v e t o w a r d s who has  spot"  office  partner or  wonder  about  conflicting  pain at  am a b l e  not w o r k i n g ,  to  of  see  this  h i m as I  am  a b l e t o b e t r u s t i n g w i t h h i m , a n d s o my work has improved.  That i s  research that I that  also  the  society  I  an u n e x p e c t e d outcome o f  truly  feel  cherish.  more s t r o n g l y t h a n I  patriarchal  this  structures  that  h u r t b o t h women and men.  I  d i d i n the exist  feel  i n our  very  strongly  t h a t working towards d i s m a n t l i n g those s t r u c t u r e s genuinely benefit of  the  c a s t r a t i of  men,  as w e l l  as women.  I  past  will  am r e m i n d e d  1 8 t h C e n t u r y E u r o p e a n o p e r a . Women  124  were p r e v e n t e d f r o m s i n g i n g i n t h e s e o p e r a s , kept out o f perform.  the  l i m e l i g h t and d e n i e d a c h a n c e  But the  testicles  thus  cost to  the  c a s t r a t i was  and t h e i r c h a n c e t o be f a t h e r s  The s y s t e m p u n i s h e d b o t h women and men,  being  to  their and  as  lovers.  it  does  today. Finally,  I am aware o f  men, where o n c e or  fear,  or both.  competitors It work as  I  is  felt  a good d e a l o f  I perceive  now and more as this  final  a therapist.  having a "soft  either  o t h e r men l e s s  point that  is  who has c o m m i t t e d o t h e r c r i m i n a l  expectations. his  desire  able  acts,  faced with  his  office  partner or  I wonder  about  conflicting  seriously  his  t o be t h e  provider.  I am a b l e t o  suffered.  Because  also  as  my  I take  someone who has  contempt  most germane t o my  Now when a man e n t e r s  l i k e he i s  pain at  of  not w o r k i n g , see  this  h i m as I am  t o be t r u s t i n g w i t h h i m , and so my work has  improved.  That i s  research that  a n u n e x p e c t e d outcome o f  I truly  for  human b e i n g s .  who has b e e n p h y s i c a l l y a b u s i v e t o w a r d s  w h e t h e r he f e e l s  spot"  cherish.  this  125  References  Bern,  S.L.  (1974).  androgyny.  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If you are straight, white, between 25 and 35, and would be interested in telling your story, please contact Lawrence at 5551212.  134 Appendix B PARTICIPANT CONSENT FORM I h e r e b y g i v e my c o n s e n t t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n t h e r e s e a r c h s t u d y "The C o n s t r u c t i o n o f M a s c u l i n i t y . " I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h e r e s e a r c h w i l l be c o n d u c t e d by L a w r e n c e Murphy as p a r t o f t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f r e q u i r e m e n t s f o r a M a s t e r i n A r t s degree i n C o u n s e l l i n g Psychology at the U n i v e r s i t y o f B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a and t h a t M r . Murphy w i l l be w o r k i n g u n d e r t h e s u p e r v i s i o n o f D r . M a r v Westwood. I understand t h a t the purpose of the p r o j e c t i s t o d e v e l o p an u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e s o f men, w i t h the aim of q u e s t i o n i n g the s o c i e t a l assumptions t h a t a r e made a b o u t men: as s u c h i t w i l l p o i n t t o w a r d s more e f f e c t i v e ways o f w o r k i n g w i t h men i n t h e a r e a o f mental health p r a c t i c e s . I n c o n s e n t i n g t o be i n v o l v e d i n t h i s p r o j e c t , I a g r e e t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n an i n i t i a l a u d i o t a p e d i n t e r v i e w o f a t o t a l o f a p p r o x i m a t e l y two h o u r s ' d u r a t i o n , w h i c h w i l l be t r a n s c r i b e d and become t h e b a s i s f o r a c a s e s t u d y o f my e x p e r i e n c e s as a man. My s t o r y w i l l t h e n be c o m b i n e d with that of the other co-researchers i n order to c r e a t e a g e n e r a l s t o r y . I agree to p a r t i c i p a t e i n a s e c o n d a u d i o t a p e d i n t e r v i e w , o f a p p r o x i m a t e l y one h o u r ' s d u r a t i o n , i n which I s h a l l respond t o the g e n e r a l s t o r y , c o n f i r m i n g whether i t a c c u r a t e l y r e f l e c t s t h e e s s e n t i a l e l e m e n t s o f my s t o r y . I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t my i n v o l v e m e n t i n t h i s p r o j e c t w i l l be c o n f i d e n t i a l and t h a t a l l i d e n t i f y i n g references w i t h i n my s t o r y w i l l be d e l e t e d f r o m t h e f i n a l d o c u m e n t . S p e c i a l c a r e w i l l be t a k e n t o p r o t e c t and e x c l u s i v e l y l i m i t access to researchers of the a u d i o t a p e s and a l l t r a n s c r i p t i o n s . I agree to p a r t i c i p a t e i n t h i s p r o j e c t w i t h the u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h a t I am a b l e t o r e f u s e t o p a r t i c i p a t e or withdraw from i t a t any t i m e w i t h no p e n a l t y w h a t s o e v e r . T h i s i n c l u d e s t h e r i g h t t o r e f u s e t o answer any q u e s t i o n s w i t h i n t h e i n t e r v i e w and t o v e t o any m a t e r i a l w i t h i n my c a s e s t u d y w h i c h may be p r e j u d i c i a l t o me o r c o n t r a v e n e my r i g h t t o c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y .  135  I understand t h a t I have the r i g h t t o r e c e i v e answers t o a n y q u e s t i o n s w h i c h I may h a v e r e g a r d i n g the p r o c e d u r e s i n v o l v e d i n t h i s p r o j e c t . To t h a t e n d , M r . Murphy and D r . Westwood c a n be r e a c h e d a t 876-0131 and 822-6457, respectively. I have r e a d t h i s form i n f u l l and agree t o participate i n the r e s e a r c h p r o j e c t . As w e l l , I have r e c e i v e d a c o p y o f t h i s c o n s e n t f o r m w h i c h s u m m a r i z e s my involvement i n the project.  Co-researcher Date  signature  136  Appendix C QUESTIONS TO PARTICIPANTS  1)  Initial  statement:  The hope o f t h i s r e s e a r c h i s t o u n d e r s t a n d more f u l l y t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f g r o w i n g up m a l e and o f b e i n g a man i n t h i s c u l t u r e i n t h i s t i m e i n h i s t o r y . Much o f what i s w r i t t e n t o d a y , i n j o u r n a l s , n e w s p a p e r s , and b o o k s , s u g g e s t s t h a t many men f e e l m i s u n d e r s t o o d . T h e r e a r e a l s o s u g g e s t i o n s t h a t men a r e c o n f u s e d a b o u t what d i r e c t i o n t o t a k e i n t h e i r l i v e s . And y e t a l m o s t no-one i s b o t h e r i n g t o a s k t h e o b v i o u s q u e s t i o n : What i s i t l i k e t o be a man i n t o d a y ' s w o r l d ? T h a t i s what I w o u l d l i k e us t o l o o k a t t o d a y . 2)  Interview  questions:  The f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n s a r e i n c l u d e d h e r e as e x a m p l e s o n l y . T h e y w i l l n o t n e c e s s a r i l y a l l be a s k e d o f a l l participants. a)  What p r o m p t e d y o u t o  respond to  the  ad/poster?  b) I f y o u had a s o n , what w o u l d y o u f e e l t h a t i m p o r t a n t t o t e l l h i m a b o u t b e i n g a man? c)  What d o e s i t  it  was  mean t o y o u t o be a man?  d) What e x p e r i e n c e s do y o u h a v e , what t h i n g s do y o u t h i n k , f e e l , and do t h a t t e l l y o u t h a t y o u a r e a man, as d i s t i n c t f r o m a woman? e) What c r i t e r i a do y o u b e l i e v e d i s t i n g u i s h y o u as m a l e ? f ) What s o c i a l men?  expectations  society  uses  do y o u b e l i e v e  to  exist  for  g) How do t h e s e e x p e c t a t i o n s i m p a c t o n y o u ? How do a f f e c t y o u r s e n s e o f y o u r s e l f as a man? h) What do y o u f e e l  are the  pressures  o n men?  they  i ) What do you f e e l a r e t h e rewards f o r men? j ) T e l l me about e x p e r i e n c e s t h a t you have had at work; i n sexual r e l a t i o n s h i p s ; in friendships; in recreational activities; at home; t h a t have r e i n f o r c e d o r c h a l l e n g e d your sense masculinity.  138  Appendix D LETTER THAT ACCOMPANIED THE THEMATIC SUMMARY April  16,  1994  Dear A l , I hope t h a t t h i s l e t t e r a n d p a c k a g e f i n d s y o u w e l l . F r o m t h e stamps y o u c a n s e e t h a t I am now l i v i n g i n I n d o n e s i a . I w i l l be b a c k i n C a n a d a t h i s summer, a n d I w i l l t r y t o c o n t a c t you a g a i n t h e n . T h i s package c o n t a i n s t h i s l e t t e r , t h e r e s u l t s o f the thematic a n a l y s i s of the interviews that I c o n d u c t e d w i t h y o u r s e l f a n d t h e o t h e r f o u r men i n t h i s p r o j e c t , a n d a s t a m p e d a n d a d d r e s s e d e n v e l o p e . I am a s k i n g you t o r e a d t h r o u g h t h e t h e m a t i c a n a l y s i s and respond to the best of your a b i l i t y . I t i s , I b e l i e v e , q u i t e s i m p l e t o c o m p l e t e a n d s h o u l d n ' t t a k e much t i m e . I hope t h a t y o u w i l l be a b l e t o f i n d t h e t i m e t o go t h r o u g h i t . When y o u ' r e d o n e , j u s t s l i p t h e theme l i s t s i n t h e e n v e l o p e a n d d r o p i t i n a m a i l b o x . My f r i e n d B a r r y w i l l s e n d i t o n t o me. E a c h o f t h e themes t h a t came o u t o f t h e a n a l y s i s i s l i s t e d , a l o n g w i t h a b r i e f e x p l a n a t i o n . I f y o u made comments t h a t f i t w i t h a t h e m e , I h a v e l i s t e d some o f y o u r comments t o h e l p t o c l a r i f y f o r y o u what y o u s a i d . I f t h e theme s t i l l f i t s f o r y o u , j u s t c h e c k t h e a p p r o p r i a t e b o x . I f i t does n o t , o r i f y o u f e e l t h a t I h a v e m i s i n t e r p r e t e d y o u r comments, c h e c k t h e o t h e r b o x . I f y o u w a n t , y o u a r e welcome t o make a d d i t i o n a l comments i n t h e s p a c e p r o v i d e d , ( u s i n g t h e b a c k o f t h e s h e e t i f you w i s h ) . I would p a r t i c u l a r l y a p p r e c i a t e you m a k i n g comments i f y o u f e e l t h a t I m i s i n t e r p r e t e d y o u r words i n t h e i n t e r v i e w . I f I d i d do t h i s a t a n y p o i n t , I n e e d t o h a v e some s e n s e o f what went w r o n g . Of c o u r s e , n o t a l l o f y o u made comments r e l e v a n t t o e a c h t h e m e . T h i s c o u l d have b e e n b e c a u s e we d i d n o t get around t o t a l k i n g about the i s s u e , o r because the p a r t i c u l a r theme d i d n o t f i t f o r y o u . I f y o u d i d n o t make comments r e l e v a n t t o a p a r t i c u l a r t h e m e , b u t o n r e a d i n g t h e theme r e a l i z e t h a t " y e a h , t h a t f i t s f o r me", t h e n p l e a s e c h e c k t h e a p p r o p r i a t e b o x . I f t h e theme d o e s n o t f i t f o r y o u , j u s t c h e c k t h e o t h e r b o x . A g a i n , I welcome y o u r comments, and a g a i n , I w o u l d p a r t i c u l a r l y a p p r e c i a t e comments r e l e v a n t t o any theme t h a t you d e c i d e does i n d e e d f i t f o r y o u .  139 I have t r i e d t o put myself i n t h e p o s i t i o n o f going through t h i s p r o c e s s , and I have found w i t h i n myself what I might c a l l a need t o b e l o n g . Be one o f the guys, show a u n i t e d f r o n t . That k i n d o f t h i n g . So, r e c o g n i z i n g t h i s i n myself, I would l i k e t o ask each o f you i n t h e s t r o n g e s t p o s s i b l e way t o be t r u e t o y o u r s e l v e s as you respond t o the themes. I a s s u r e you t h a t you w i l l not be doing me a s e r v i c e by a g r e e i n g t o themes t h a t don't r e a l l y f i t f o r you. Again, I r e a l l y a p p r e c i a t e your t a k i n g t h e time t o complete t h i s . I have found the process o f drawing out these themes r e a l l y f a s c i n a t i n g , and a l t h o u g h I imagine everyone says t h i n g s l i k e t h i s , I b e l i e v e t h a t t h i s i s going t o be an important p i e c e o f academic r e s e a r c h . When I have had a chance t o go through your responses I w i l l p r o v i d e each o f you w i t h a summary o f t h e f i n a l r e s u l t s as w e l l as a copy o f the i n t e r v i e w t h a t we d i d , i f you're i n t e r e s t e d . Cheers 1  140  Appendix E THEMATIC SUMMARY  1) The experience of economic responsibility and expectations. T h i s theme i s r e l a t e d t o what one o f y o u i d e n t i f i e d as ' t h e 4 A ' s o f m a s c u l i n i t y ' : a c h i e v e , a c h i e v e , a c h i e v e and a c h i e v e . T h i s i s a s e n s e t h a t men a r e s t i l l e x p e c t e d t o h a v e a good j o b a n d make money. Y o u r Comments: - a l o t o f women want someone who i s f i n a n c i a l l y s t a b l e , e s p e c i a l l y s i n g l e Moms - f e e l i n g a l o t o f shame i n n o t h a v i n g a t r a d e d i s a p p o i n t i n g t o my f a t h e r . n T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  Q  This  does not  fit  f o r me.  2) The experience of outdoor and/or physical activity reinforcing masculinity. T h i s i n c l u d e s s p o r t s , camping a c t i v i t i e s , p h y s i c a l l a b o u r and t h e l i k e . Y o u r Comments: - t w o - p e r s o n T a i C h i i s a g g r e s s i v e and a p p e a l i n g t o me - I enjoy s t r a i n i n g myself p h y s i c a l l y , being rough D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  Q  3) The experience of not men in general. T h i s theme i s a b o u t not your experiences are w e l l as a d e s i r e t o know experiences were.  This  feeling  does not  fit  representative  f o r me.  of  f e e l i n g unsure whether o r common t o o t h e r men, as how r e p r e s e n t a t i v e y o u r  141  Y o u r Comments: - I d o n ' t t h i n k I f e e l as t h r e a t e n e d as a l o t o f o t h e r males might - women c o m p l a i n men d o n ' t show f e e l i n g s , b u t I t h i n k I ' m b e t t e r t h a n m o s t ; d o n ' t know how common i t i s t h a t men a r e e m o t i o n a l l y a v a i l a b l e C] T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  4 ) The experience expectations.  Q  This  of encountering  T h i s i s j u s t what t h a t , w h i l e o n t h e one behave i n c e r t a i n ways, men s h o u l d be b e h a v i n g q u i t e the opposite of, the other e x p e c t a t i o n .  does not  fit  f o r me.  conflicting  i t sounds l i k e ; t h e f e e l i n g h a n d , men a r e e x p e c t e d t o t h e r e a r e a l s o messages t h a t i n ways t h a t seem e i t h e r or at least i n c o n f l i c t with,  Y o u r Comments: - I ' m c o n f u s e d a b o u t women's e x p e c t a t i o n s - t h i s i s a time of u n c e r t a i n r o l e expectations CD T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  5) Feeling "human".  D  This  unsure if a particular  does n o t  trait  fit  f o r me.  is "male" or  A g a i n , t h i s theme i s s e l f e x p l a n a t o r y . Comments i n c l u d e d i n t h i s theme a r e o f t h e c h a r a c t e r o f "but I c a n ' t be s u r e i f my h e s i t a t i o n i s a b o u t b e i n g m a l e , o r j u s t b e c a u s e I ' m a human b e i n g . " Y o u r Comments: - I d o n ' t know i f t h e r e ' s a n y t h i n g s p e c i f i c a l l y male, i t ' s j u s t s e x u a l i t y - how much i s m a l e n e s s , how much i s t h i s c u l t u r e ? I t ' s v e r y messy D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  D  This  does not  fit  f o r me.  142 6) Feeling greater safety as a white man in the world than you think others do. T h i s theme c o n c e r n s f e e l i n g s o f g r e a t e r p h y s i c a l s a f e t y i n t h e w o r l d and f e w e r c o n c e r n s about b e i n g a t t a c k e d . Y o u r Comments: - I have a sense o f s e c u r i t y , o f f e e l i n g s a f e - I d o n ' t w o r r y as much a b o u t b e i n g s u p p r e s s e d D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  7)  Feeling  that  D  This  does not  as a man, you are a  fit  f o r me.  protector.  T h i s theme i s a b o u t comments made c o n c e r n i n g b e h a v i o u r s and a t t i t u d e s t o w a r d s women i n g e n e r a l , f a m i l y members, e m p l o y e e s and l o v e d o n e s . T h e theme s u g g e s t s t h a t men a c c e p t a c e r t a i n m e a s u r e o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r the safety of o t h e r s . Y o u r Comments: - I w o u l d k i l l someone who t r i e d t o harm my woman o r child - I w o u l d s a c r i f i c e m y s e l f f o r women, be a m a r t y r ; t h i s i s an a s p e c t o f t h e w a r r i o r Q T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  D  T h i s does not  8 ) The experience that men gain strength in a sexual relationship with a woman.  fit  f o r me.  from  being  T h i s theme s u g g e s t s t h a t men c a n f e e l a g r e a t e r s e n s e o f c o n f i d e n c e b e i n g w i t h a woman. F o r some o f you t h i s a l s o i n c l u d e s an i n c r e a s e d f e e l i n g o f m a s c u l i n i t y as a r e s u l t o f b e i n g w i t h a woman. I t i n c l u d e s t h e e x p e r i e n c e t h a t , as one o f y o u s a i d , "the a c t u a l s e x u a l p r a c t i c e s f e e l v e r y a f f i r m i n g [ o f my m a s c u l i n i t y ] " . I t a l s o i n c l u d e s t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f f e e l i n g l e s s c o n f i d e n t , more l o n e l y , l e s s m a l e , w i t h o u t a woman.  143  Y o u r Comments: - I n my l a s t r e l a t i o n s h i p I f e l t l i k e a good l o v e r i m p r o v e d my s e n s e o f m a s c u l i n i t y . A b i g i s s u e o f masculinity. Q T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  9) The experience that defined by context.  Q  This  does n o t  fit  what is "manliness"  -  f o r me.  is often  T h i s theme e n c o m p a s s e s s e v e r a l i d e a s . It s u g g e s t s t h a t y o u f e e l t h a t what i s c o n s i d e r e d m a l e c h a n g e s d e p e n d i n g on t h e p e o p l e t h a t y o u a r e w i t h and how t h e y r e a c t t o y o u . F o r some o f y o u i t c o n t a i n s t h e i d e a t h a t what i s m a l e i s o f t e n d e f i n e d as what i s NOT f e m a l e . Y o u r Comments: - b e i n g a m a l e as o p p o s e d t o f e m a l e i s t h e way s o c i e t y l o o k s a t me - a l o t f r o m t h e o u t s i d e rather than i n s i d e - m a s c u l i n i t y i s s l i p p e r y b e c a u s e w h e n e v e r I do something t o put myself i n touch w i t h i t , I ' l l a woman do i t a n d i t f e e l s l e s s m a l e . D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  D  This  does not  fit  see  f o r me.  1 0 ) The experience that others assume that you are confident and competent because you are a man. T h i s theme c o n c e r n s t h e f e e l i n g t h a t men a r e e x p e c t e d t o be c o n f i d e n t a n d i n c o n t r o l , t o be a b l e t o h a n d l e s t r e s s a n d p r e s s u r e , and t o h a n d l e t h e various d i f f e r e n t facets of l i f e . Y o u r Comments: - as a man y o u ' r e e x p e c t e d confident n T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  Q  t o be a g g r e s s i v e  This  does not  fit  and  f o r me.  144  11) the  The experience that you are perceived as one of group of victimizers. T h i s theme a d d r e s s e s e x p e r i e n c e s o f e i t h e r h a v i n g p e r s o n a l l y b e e n p e r c e i v e d o f as a t h r e a t , o r o f f e e l i n g t h a t , b e c a u s e y o u a r e a man, y o u a r e lumped i n w i t h " t h o s e who v i c t i m i z e . " Y o u r Comments: T h e r e were no comments t h a t y o u made t h a t f i t i n t o t h i s theme. I _ l T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  This  does not  fit  f o r me.  1 2 ) The experience of being unsure of what the "rules of conduct" are today, and so feeling unsure about how you will be treated when you go out in the world. T h i s theme i s a b o u t t h e l a c k o f c l a r i t y y o u f e e l o f what t h e r i g h t o r wrong t h i n g i s t o do a n d t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f n o t a l w a y s b e i n g a b l e t o be s u r e how o t h e r s w i l l r e a c t t o y o u when y o u b e h a v e . Y o u r Comments: - I know some women h a t e p o r n o g r a p h y , o t h e r s i t ' s okay. I f e e l confused Q T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  Q  This  does not  fit  think  f o r me.  13)  The experience of being on guard. T h i s theme a d d r e s s e s t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f , when o u t i n t h e w o r l d , n e e d i n g t o be g u a r d e d i n y o u r interactions with other people. Y o u r Comments: T h i s i s a n o t h e r a r e a f o r w h i c h none o f y o u r comments f i t t h e t h e m e . C] T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  Q  This  does n o t  fit  f o r me.  145 14) The feeling that there are many images of men in our culture but few, if any, f i t for you, or express your viewpoint. T h i s theme c o n t a i n s b o t h t h e e x p e r i e n c e t h a t , i n o u r c u l t u r e , we a r e f l o o d e d w i t h d i f f e r e n t images o f men, a n d a t t h e same t i m e , y o u do n o t r e a l l y s e e y o u r s e l f represented i n those images. Y o u r Comments: - noone e v e r a s k s what I t h i n k , f o r my two b i t s - macho man - l o t s o f men a r e l i k e t h i s . W i l l my s o n be p r o m i s c u o u s , monogamous, c e l i b a t e ? T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  This  does not  fit  f o r me.  15) The experience that, in relationships with men, the intimate sharing of emotions is not prevalent.  other  F o r some o f y o u , t h i s i s a b o u t r e m a r k i n g o n i n s t a n c e s when y o u o r a n o t h e r man s h a r e s d e e p l y e m o t i o n a l s t u f f . F o r some o f y o u t h i s i s a b o u t n o t h a v i n g t h e k i n d s o f e x p e r i e n c e s where y o u w o u l d s h a r e d e e p e m o t i o n s w i t h a n o t h e r man. F o r some o f you t h i s i s a b o u t t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f sometimes g o i n g f o r extended p e r i o d s w i t h o u t s e e i n g your male f r i e n d s . F o r some o f y o u t h i s i n c l u d e s t h e experience of not e x p r i e n c i n g c l o s e p h y s i c a l c o n t a c t w i t h o t h e r men. Y o u r Comments: - e a s i e r t o l a u g h w i t h men, a t o t h e r ' s w e a k n e s s e s ; c a n ' t p u t a f i n g e r o n i t , b u t I j u s t f e e l more c o m f o r t a b l e i n some way t h a t I d o n ' t w i t h women - I t h i n k more l i n e a r l y , l o g i c a l l y , i n c o n t r a s t t o women who a r e more i n t u i t i v e , more e m p h a s i s o n l e a r n i n g t h e i r emotions D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  D  This  does not  fit  f o r me.  146  16) The experience happening.  that positive  changes are  T h i s theme i s , as i t s a y s , a b o u t t h e f a c t t h a t t h e r e a r e some p o s i t i v e c h a n g e s c o m i n g o u t o f t h e g e n e r a l changes t h a t a r e happening t o s o c i e t y . Y o u r Commentss - now c a n be more o p e n t o , l e s s r i g i d a b o u t , r o l e s - u n c e r t a i n r o l e e x p e c t a t i o n s a r e a good t h i n g , I h a v e a b e t t e r c h a n c e o f f i n d i n g a woman who w i l l f i t me D T h i s f i t s f o r me. A d d i t i o n a l comments:  O  This  END  does n o t  fit  f o r me.  

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