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UBC Theses and Dissertations

The experience of rejection : a single case study of a rejected adolescent Jones, Sandra L. 1996

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THE EXPERIENCE OF REJECTION A SINGLE CASE STUDY OF A REJECTED ADOLESCENT by SANDRA L. JONES A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS IN THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES (DEPARTMENT OF COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY) We a c c e p t t h i s t h e s i s as co n f o r m i n g t o the r e q u i r e d s t a n d a r d s . The U n i v e r s i t y o f B r i t i s h Columbia May 1996 © Sandra L. Jones, 1996 In presenting this thesis in partial fulfilment of the requirements for an advanced degree at the University of British Columbia, I agree that the Library shall make it freely available for reference and study. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes may be granted by the head of my department or by his or her representatives. It is understood that copying or publication of this thesis for financial gain shall not be allowed without my writ ten permission. Department of Coatosg-LU PSMCHOLOGS The University of British Columbia Vancouver, Canada Date )2> IXVtf'qfe DE-6 (2/88) 1 1 ABSTRACT The purpose of t h i s s t u d y was t o examine the e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n f o r an a d o l e s c e n t . A s i n g l e case s t u d y , u s i n g Hermenuetic Phenomenological method as d e s c r i b e d by van Manen (1990) was employed. Over t h e c o u r s e of one y e a r , t h e co-r e s e a r c h e r was i n t e r v i e w e d and a u d i o - t a p e d t w e l v e t i m e s r e g a r d i n g h i s e x p e r i e n c i n g o f r e j e c t i o n by h i s p e e r s . The c o - r e s e a r c h e r a l s o p a r t i c i p a t e d i n i n f o r m a l meetings and p r o v i d e d samples o f h i s p o e t r y t o the r e s e a r c h e r . The m a t e r i a l was a n a l y s e d v i a hermenuetic p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l method and themes emerged. F i n a l l y a d e s c r i p t i o n of t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n was c r e a t e d by t h e r e s e a r c h e r . The s i g n i f i c a n t d i m e n s i o n s o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n w h i c h emerged i n c l u d e d ; p h y s i c a l , c o g n i t i v e , and e m o t i o n a l i s o l a t i o n and c o n f u s i o n ; f r u s t r a t i o n , t e n s i o n , anger, and v i o l e n c e ; v i c t i m h o o d ; communication d i f f i c u l t i e s ; f a n t a s y and m a g i c a l t h i n k i n g ; a l i e n a t i o n , e x c l u s i o n , and sense o f u s e l e s s n e s s ; n e g a t i o n and i n v i s i b i l i t y ; and h o p e l e s s n e s s and d e s p a i r . I n t h i s case, t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r made many at t e m p t s t o connect m e a n i n g f u l l y w i t h s o c i e t y , but was o f t e n r e b u f f e d . Based on t h e s e f i n d i n g s , i m p l i c a t i o n s and recommendations f o r b o t h s c h o o l s and c o u n s e l l i n g p r a c t i c e were o u t l i n e d t o a s s i s t t h o s e w o r k i n g w i t h r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s . i i i T A B L E OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT i i TABLE OF CONTENTS i i i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS v CHAPTER I . I N T R O D U C T I O N 1 PURPOSE OF THE STUDY • 3 DEFINITION OF TERMS 6 LIMITATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS 8 I I . L I T E R A T U R E R E V I E W . 10 DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES 10 PEER RELATIONSHIPS 12 THE IMPORTANCE OF PEER RELATIONSHIPS 12 THE SCHOOL SETTING 14 CLASSIFICATIONS OF POOR PEER ACCEPTANCE 15 ANTECEDENTS OF PEER REJECTION. 17 ATTACHMENT 17 PARENTING 19 COGNITIVE FACTORS 21 CHARACTERISTICS OF REJECTED ADOLESCENTS 22 BEHAVIOURAL....... 22 EMOTIONAL 24 THE RESULTS OF REJECTION 2 8 IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELLING 31 THE IMPORTANCE OF 'INTERVENTION 31 COUNSELLING CONCERNS 32 COUNSELLING STRATEGIES 35 SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING 3 5 PSYCHODYNAMIC APPROACHES 3 8 i v BIBLIOTHERAPY 39 OTHER STRATEGIES 40 I I I . METHODOLOGY 41 RESEARCH DESIGN 41 PHENOMENOLOGY 41 HERMENUETIC PHENOMENOLOGY 42 CASE STUDY 43 SELECTION OF THE CO-RESEARCHER 44 THE RESEARCHER 45 COLLECTION OF MATERIAL 46 ANALYSIS 49 ASSUMPTIONS ' 51 I V . THE E X P E R I E N C E OF R E J E C T I O N ; R A Y ' S STORY 53 EXPECTATIONS! 54 BELIEFS 58 REACTIONS 63 SEEKING SOLACE 71 RAY ' S METAPHOR ' 73 V . C O N C L U S I O N 7 8 THE EXPERIENCE OF REJECTION.... 7 8 CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS 85 MAJOR SCHOOL RESTRUCTURING 87 . SCHOOL PROGRAM ADJUSTMENTS 88 ISSUES RELATING TO PERSONNEL 89 FUTURE RESEARCH... 91 REFERENCES 93 A P P E N D I C E S 101 A. CONSENT FORM 101 B. LETTER OF PERMISSION 103 V ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS To Ray, who so w i l l i n g l y s h a r e d h i s e x p e r i e n c e s w i t h me, r e a d and made v a l u a b l e s u g g e s t i o n s r e g a r d i n g d r a f t c o p i e s o f t h i s paper, and never doubted t h a t i t would get done, I owe a s p e c i a l debt o f g r a t i t u d e . 1 CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION The i m p o r t a n c e of r e l a t i o n s h i p s t o t h e s o c i a l , e m o t i o n a l , i n t e l l e c t u a l , and mor a l a s p e c t s of human development has been n o t e d by numerous r e s e a r c h e r s and t h e o r i s t s ( P a r k e r & Asher, 1987). Indeed, Kegan (1982)• m a i n t a i n s the i s s u e i s so i m p o r t a n t t o us t h a t "our s u r v i v a l and development depend on our c a p a c i t y t o r e c r u i t the i n v e s t e d a t t e n t i o n of o t h e r s t o us" (p. 17) and S a d l e r (1978) "assume(s) t h a t a fundamental c o n d i t i o n o f human l i f e i s r e l a t i o n s h i p " (p. 167). Moreover, t h e r e i s mounting e v i d e n c e t h a t t r o u b l e d and troublesome, peer r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e con n e c t e d t o d i f f i c u l t i e s of a d justment, i n terms o f b o t h p r e s e n t and f u t u r e f u n c t i o n i n g (Dunn & McGuire, 1992). Poor peer r e l a t i o n s b r o a d l y p r e d i c t a d u l t d i s o r d e r and t e n d t o group w i t h o t h e r i n d i c a t o r s o f a d a p t a t i o n a l f a i l u r e such as d e p r e s s i o n , a n x i e t y , d e l i n q u e n c y , a g g r e s s i o n , and poor s c h o o l performance ( S r o u f e & R u t t e r , 1984) . S p e c i f i c a l l y a t i s s u e when d e a l i n g w i t h a d o l e s c e n t s i s the r i s k o f s c h o o l dropout. I n t h e i r r e v i e w o f the l i t e r a t u r e , Kupersmidt, C o i e , and Dodge (1990) found t h a t r e j e c t i o n by p e e r s has c o n s i s t e n t l y been i d e n t i f i e d as p r e d i c t i v e o f e a r l y s c h o o l w i t h d r a w a l , a l t h o u g h t h e r e appear 2 t o be s i g n i f i c a n t d i f f e r e n c e s between males and f e m a l e s . I n the case of males, a c t i v e p e e r r e j e c t i o n and a g g r e s s i v e b e h a v i o u r t e n d t o be p r e d i c t i v e . Females, on the o t h e r hand, may l a c k f r i e n d s but t h e i r b e h a v i o u r may not be d e s c r i b e d i n a n t i s o c i a l terms. The h i g h s c h o o l y e a r s may be p a r t i c u l a r l y unhappy f o r the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l . F or a l l a d o l e s c e n t s , emerging s e l f -c o n s c i o u s n e s s b r i n g s about th e awareness of d i f f e r e n c e o f s e l f from o t h e r . When t h i s i s c o u p l e d w i t h r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s , u t t e r l o n e l i n e s s may be e x p e r i e n c e d f o r t h e f i r s t t i me ( M i s j u s k o v i c , 1988). S t u d i e s have shown t h a t r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s e x p e r i e n c e and r e p o r t g r e a t e r l e v e l s of l o n e l i n e s s t h a n t h e i r average s t a t u s p e e r s (Asher, P a r k h u r s t , Hymel, & W i l l i a m s , 1990). Furthermore, t h e c e n t r a l t a s k of a d o l e s c e n c e , a c c o r d i n g t o E r i k s o n (1968) i s t o a c h i e v e i n t i m a c y over i s o l a t i o n . The r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t i s d e s t i n e d t o f a i l u r e i n t h i s m a t t e r . Where peer s u p p o r t i s l a c k i n g , p a r e n t s , s i b l i n g s , o r t e a c h e r s may c o u n t e r a c t the d e f i c i t ( E a s t , Hess, & L e r n e r , 1987; Furman & Buhrmester, 1985). However, f o r many l o n e l y a d o l e s c e n t s , p r o b l e m a t i c f a m i l y r e l a t i o n s h i p s o r c o n f l i c t s seem r e l a t e d t o i n f e r i o r s o c i a l s k i l l s and thus a f f e c t t h e i r a b i l i t y t o engage i n s a t i s f y i n g p eer r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( P u t a l l a z & H e f l i n , 1990; Van B u s k i r k & Duke, 1991). One of t h e g r e a t e s t o b s t a c l e s f o r the r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t t o overcome i s t h a t o f r e p u t a t i o n a l b i a s . A g r e a t d e a l of 3 t i me and e f f o r t has been put i n t o e x amining the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l as d e f i c i e n t i n s o c i a l competencies. However, once an i n d i v i d u a l ' s s t a t u s has been d e t e r m i n e d by t h e p eer group, i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l ' s a c t i o n s i s c o l o u r e d by p e r c e p t i o n s of t h a t s o c i a l s t a t u s (Hymel, Wagner, & B u t l e r , 1990). T h e r e f o r e , even i f t h e i n d i v i d u a l behaves i n a p e r f e c t l y a c c e p t a b l e way, h i s o r h e r a c t i o n s a r e l i k e l y t o be i n t e r p r e t e d as n e g a t i v e . T h i s i s a c h a l l e n g i n g a rena f o r c o u n s e l l o r s w o r k i n g w i t h a d o l e s c e n t s . PURPOSE OF THE STUDY The purpose of t h i s s t u d y i s t o examine the q u e s t i o n : What i s t h e e x p e r i e n c e of an a d o l e s c e n t who has endured and c o n t i n u e s t o endure r e j e c t i o n i n the s c h o o l c o n t e x t ? Of p a r t i c u l a r i n t e r e s t i s the e m o t i o n a l and s o c i a l i s o l a t i o n t h a t may r e s u l t from t h i s . I n v a r i a b l y i n f o r m a t i o n r e g a r d i n g th e s i g n i f i c a n c e and s t r u c t u r e o f r e l a t i o n s h i p s comes t o us by way of paper and p e n c i l t e s t s , s t r u c t u r e d i n t e r v i e w s , and q u a n t i t a t i v e a n a l y s e s of d a t a . L i t t l e , i f any, r e s e a r c h has examined the a c t u a l e x p e r i e n c e of the i n d i v i d u a l whose r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e l e s s t h a n s a t i s f a c t o r y ( P a r k e r & Asher, 1987). C o l a i z z i (1978) s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e s t u d y of e x p e r i e n c e has l o n g been a v o i d e d by r e s e a r c h e r s as n o n - o b j e c t i v e and too i n t e r n a l i z e d . However, he argues t h a t e x p e r i e n c e i s : a. o b j e c t i v e l y r e a l f o r m y s e l f and o t h e r s , 4 b. not an i n t e r n a l s t a t e but a mode of p r e s e n c e t o t h e w o r l d , c. a mode o f w o r l d p r e s e n c e t h a t i s e x i s t e n t i a l l y s i g n i f i c a n t , and d. as e x i s t e n t i a l l y s i g n i f i c a n t , i t i s a l e g i t i m a t e and n e c e s s a r y c o n t e n t f o r u n d e r s t a n d i n g human p s y c h o l o g y . (p.52). Other r e s e a r c h e r s have s u g g e s t e d t h a t f u r t h e r i n v e s t i g a t i o n o f l o n e l i n e s s , w h i c h i s thought t o be c l o s e l y r e l a t e d t o the e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n f o r many a d o l e s c e n t s (Gaev, 1976), s h o u l d aim a t g a i n i n g i n s i g h t i n t o the e x p e r i e n c e and meaning o f l o n e l i n e s s (McWhirter, 1990; Sto k e s , 1987; Weiss, 1987; Wood, 1987). Among t h o s e who st u d y r e l a t i o n s h i p s s p e c i f i c a l l y , t h e r e seems t o be mounting i n t e r e s t i n u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e e m o t i o n a l e x p e r i e n c e as i t i s l i v e d ( f o r example, Dunn & McGuire 1992). Others suggest t h a t the l o n e l y a r e r e l u c t a n t t o r e v e a l t h e i r c o n d i t i o n and as such i t i s n e c e s s a r y t o f i n d d e s c r i p t i v e d a t a t o examine t h e " r e v e l a t i o n of l o n e l i n e s s " (Perlman & J o s h i , 1987, p. 7 2 ) . P a r k e r and Asher have suggested t h a t t h e e m o t i o n a l e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n must be " q u a l i t a t i v e l y d i f f e r e n t f o r the l o w - a c c e p t e d c h i l d who c a r e s about a c c e p t a n c e from what i t i s f o r the l o w - a c c e p t e d c h i l d who i s not e s p e c i a l l y c oncerned w i t h b e i n g a c c e p t e d " (p. 383). I n depth i n t e r v i e w s a r e proposed as p o t e n t i a l l y e f f i c a c i o u s methods o f o b t a i n i n g such i n f o r m a t i o n (Perlman & J o s h i ) . A s i n g l e case s t u d y such as 5 t h i s a f f o r d s the time and d e t a i l t h a t may more p r o p e r l y examine and i l l u m i n a t e t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n f o r t h e s u b j e c t . Furthermore, p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l a n a l y s i s seems b e s t s u i t e d t o a r r i v i n g a t a r i c h and d e s c r i p t i v e p i c t u r e o f t h i s e x p e r i e n c e . P a r k e r and Asher suggest t h a t examining r e j e c t i o n from t h e p o i n t of v i e w of the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l may p r o v i d e a more d e t a i l e d p i c t u r e of how d i f f e r e n t . i n d i v i d u a l s d e a l w i t h r e j e c t i o n and "...may be u s e f u l i n h e l p i n g r e s e a r c h e r s u n d e r s t a n d the l i n k s between peer r e l a t i o n s h i p s and l a t e r a d j u stment..." (p. 3 8 3 ) . F o r the s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r , knowledge o f t h e i n n e r e x p e r i e n c e of t h e r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t seems an e s s e n t i a l a d j u n c t t o what we a l r e a d y know o f the o u t e r e x p e r i e n c e and b e h a v i o u r s , i n o r d e r t h a t we may p r o v i d e a p p r o p r i a t e advocacy and i n t e r v e n t i o n . McWhirter, (1990) proposes an e x a m i n a t i o n o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e s o f l o n e l i n e s s i n r e l a t i o n t o t h e v a r i o u s t h e r a p i e s a p p l i e d t o t h e s e problems. I n a s i m i l a r v e i n , S a d l e r (1978) suggests, t h a t our assumptions about l o n e l i n e s s d e f i n e our responses t o i t . S a d l e r remarks t h a t "much a d v i c e t o t h e l o n e l y d i s t r a c t s our u n d e r s t a n d i n g ; i t f a i l s t o shed l i g h t on t h e e x p e r i e n c e i t s e l f and r e a s s e r t s a p r e j u d i c i a l v i e w towards l o n e l i n e s s " ( p. 1 6 0 ) . A l t h o u g h t h e s e p r o p o s a l s s p e c i f i c a l l y r e l a t e t o l o n e l i n e s s r e s e a r c h , t h e p a r a l l e l s w i t h r e j e c t i o n a r e o b v i o u s . My p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t i n t h i s i s s u e stems from my day t o 6 day d e a l i n g s w i t h r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s . F o r e i g h t y e a r s , I have spent most l u n c h hours p r o v i d i n g a s a f e haven f o r t h e opp r e s s e d members of the. s c h o o l community. I n s i g h t i n t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n may a l l o w me t o respond t o the needs of t h e s e s t u d e n t s w i t h g r e a t e r empathy and u n d e r s t a n d i n g , as w e l l as p r o v i d i n g an environment whereby they may de v e l o p more a d a p t i v e s k i l l s i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s . There a r e q u a l i f i c a t i o n s t o the a p p l i c a b i l i t y and u s e f u l n e s s o f t h i s s t u d y and the y , a l o n g w i t h the d e f i n i t i o n s and a ssumptions, a r e o u t l i n e d i n the f o l l o w i n g pages. DEFINITION OF TERMS 1. Adolescent: Male o r female between th e ages of 13 t o 18 - a t t e n d i n g s c h o o l i n the P r i n c e Rupert S c h o o l D i s t r i c t 2. Rejection: A c t i v e harassment o r a v o i d a n c e o f an i n d i v i d u a l by h i s o r h e r p e e r s . The r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l i s l i k e l y t o be e x t r e m e l y s e n s i t i v e and r e a c t i v e t o t e a s i n g by p e e r s . R e j e c t i o n w i l l be i d e n t i f i e d i n t h r e e ways: a) Through e x a m i n a t i o n o f c u m u l a t i v e f i l e s where mention of r e l a t i o n s h i p problems may be no t e d by t e a c h e r s on r e p o r t c a r d s , p a r t i c u l a r l y i n e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l . Records o f su s p e n s i o n o r misconduct r e l a t e d t o f i g h t i n g o r o t h e r peer r e l a t i o n s h i p problems. 7 b) Through r e c o l l e c t i o n o f s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r s who w i l l be f a m i l i a r w i t h s t u d e n t s who seek a s s i s t a n c e o r a r e r e f e r r e d so t h e c o u n s e l l o r may: a r b i t r a t e d i s p u t e s , s u p p o r t r e j e c t e d s t u d e n t s i n e m o t i o n a l c r i s e s , a c t as a f r i e n d s , d e a l w i t h f r e q u e n t r e q u e s t s by t h e s t u d e n t t o change c l a s s e s (to a v o i d s t u d e n t s o r t e a c h e r s w i t h whom a c o n f l i c t has a r i s e n ) . C o u n s e l l o r s w i l l a l s o be f a m i l i a r w i t h s t u d e n t s who f r e q u e n t t h e c o u n s e l l i n g o f f i c e , s e e i n g i t as a haven where t h e y a r e s a f e from r e j e c t i o n and p e e r harassment. c) Student s e l f - r e p o r t . A r e j e c t e d s t u d e n t may choose t o i d e n t i f y him o r h e r s e l f d i r e c t l y , o r may say h e r o r she i s " p i c k e d on" o r l o n e l y r a t h e r t h a n r e j e c t e d . 3. School context: W i t h i n the t e m p o r a l parameters of t h e s c h o o l day, whether i n t h e b u i l d i n g , on s c h o o l grounds, o r o f f campus on s c h o o l b u s i n e s s . D u r i n g l u n c h , o r en r o u t e t o and from s c h o o l . 4 . Emotional i s o l a t i o n : "...the absence of an attachment f i g u r e i n one's l i f e . . . " (Anderson, M u l l i n s , & Johnson, 1987, p. 186). I n t h i s case, an attachment f i g u r e may be r e g a r d e d as a s i g n i f i c a n t f r i e n d s h i p w i t h i n the s c h o o l c o n t e x t . 5 . Social i s o l a t i o n "...the absence of a p l a c e i n an a c c e p t i n g community" (Anderson et a l . p. 126). For t h e purposes of t h i s s t u d y , t h i s w i l l r e f e r t o t h e s c h o o l community where the i n d i v i d u a l w i l l have a l i m i t e d o r n o n - e x i s t e n t s o c i a l r o l e beyond t h a t of " s t u d e n t . " 8 LIMITATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS T h i s s t u d y i s l i m i t e d by the s e l e c t i o n of a s i n g l e , c r i t i c a l c ase. However, t h e d i f f i c u l t y of g e t t i n g an a d o l e s c e n t t o t a l k f r e e l y and on t h e r e c o r d , even w i t h t h e promise of c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y , w i t h r e g a r d s t o h i s o r h e r n e g a t i v e s o c i a l s t a t u s makes a s i n g l e case s t u d y a l o g i c a l c h o i c e . I t has been s u g g e s t e d t h a t p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l r e s e a r c h methods may p r o v i d e d e s c r i p t i o n s t h a t a r e b o t h " s i t u a t e d " and " g e n e r a l . " S i t u a t e d d e s c r i p t i o n s a r e s p e c i f i c t o the p a r t i c u l a r case and i n d i v i d u a l w h i l e g e n e r a l d e s c r i p t i o n s f o c u s upon m a t e r i a l t h a t may u l t i m a t e l y be r e l a t e d t o o t h e r r e s e a r c h f i n d i n g s ( G i o r g i , 1975). W h i l e t h i s case may s u p p o r t o r add t o c u r r e n t t h e o r y , i t s h o u l d not be g e n e r a l i z e d w i t h o u t r e s e r v a t i o n t o o t h e r cases o r s i t u a t i o n s . The i n d i v i d u a l may be r e p r e s e n t a t i v e o f a t y p i c a l case (see M c M i l l a n & Schumacher, 1989), i n w h i c h t h e s u b j e c t matches a p r o f i l e of c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s w i d e l y h e l d t o be emblematic of a r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t , however, t h e e x p e r i e n c e i s l i k e l y t o be i d i o s y n c r a t i c and h i g h l y p e r s o n a l i z e d . I t i s i m p o r t a n t t o r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h i s s t u d y s u b s c r i b e s t o the n o t i o n t h a t "phenomenology i s a p h i l o s o p h y of a c t i o n always i n a personal and situated sense [ i t a l i c s added]. A p e r s o n who t u r n s toward p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l r e f l e c t i o n does so out o f p e r s o n a l engagement" (van Manen, 1990, p. 154). Hermeneutic phenomenology, a c c o r d i n g t o van Manen, b r i n g s us t o a h e i g h t e n e d awareness of a p r e v i o u s l y o v e r l o o k e d f a c e t o f 9 human l i f e , perhaps c o m p e l l i n g us t o speak up o r t a k e a c t i o n where r e q u i r e d . Moreover, we may be moved t o t a k e p e r s o n a l a c t i o n t o a i d a s p e c i f i c i n d i v i d u a l . T h e r e f o r e , t h e s t u d y i s more l i k e l y t o g e n e r a t e p e r s o n a l r a t h e r t h a n u n i v e r s a l knowledge and a p p l i c a b i l i t y . The next c h a p t e r r e v i e w s l i t e r a t u r e p e r t i n e n t t o the a r e a of a d o l e s c e n t r e l a t i o n s h i p s and peer groups, w i t h p a r t i c u l a r f o c u s upon r e j e c t i o n . I t w i l l p r o v i d e a b a s i s f o r b o t h t h e d e s i g n o f , and need f o r , t h i s s t u d y , as w e l l as p r o v i d i n g m a t e r i a l f o r comparison w i t h t h e i n f o r m a t i o n a c q u i r e d from t h i s i n v e s t i g a t i o n . 10 CHAPTER I I LITERATURE REVIEW T h i s c h a p t e r r e v i e w s l i t e r a t u r e i n a number of a r e a s r e l e v a n t t o an i n v e s t i g a t i o n o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n f o r an a d o l e s c e n t i n t h e s c h o o l c o n t e x t . F i r s t , an o v e r v i e w of t h e d e v e l o p m e n t a l i s s u e s p a r t i c u l a r t o a d o l e s c e n c e w i l l be d i s c u s s e d . Next, p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i l l be a d d r e s s e d , f o l l o w e d by a r e v i e w o f t h e l i t e r a t u r e s u r r o u n d i n g the a n t e c e d e n t s o f peer r e j e c t i o n . Then, the b e h a v i o u r a l and e m o t i o n a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s w i l l be o u t l i n e d . F i n a l l y , some c u r r e n t c o u n s e l l i n g s t r a t e g i e s w i l l be d e s c r i b e d . DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES A d o l e s c e n c e i s a p e r i o d of tremendous p h y s i c a l , c o g n i t i v e , and e m o t i o n a l change. E r i k s o n (1968) s u g g e s t s t h a t by a d o l e s c e n c e t h e p r i m a r y d e v e l o p m e n t a l t a s k i s one o f f o r m i n g and i n t e g r a t i n g an i d e n t i t y and the p r i m a r y d e v e l o p m e n t a l c r i s i s i s one of i n t i m a c y v e r s u s i s o l a t i o n . At t h e vanguard of the d e v e l o p m e n t a l c r i s i s i s t h e s e p a r a t i o n from p a r e n t s as t h e p r i m a r y attachment f i g u r e s and t h e i r replacement w i t h 11 o t h e r s (Brennan, 1982, M i j u s k o v i c , 1986, Weiss, 1987). Other d e v e l o p m e n t a l changes of a d o l e s c e n c e w h i c h a f f e c t r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e w e l l documented and i n c l u d e changes i n c o g n i t i v e u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e w o r l d and an expanding sense o f autonomy (Brennan, 1982, M i j u s k o v i c , 1986, R a w l i n s , 1989). New i s s u e s a r i s e from t h e a d o l e s c e n t ' s b u r g e o n i n g a b i l i t y t o a b s t r a c t and t o c o n s i d e r b o t h themselves and t h e s o c i a l w o r l d anew and w i t h a c r i t i c a l eye. S e x u a l i n t e r e s t i n o t h e r s becomes a p r e o c c u p a t i o n . T h i s i n t e n s i f i e d c o n c e r n r e g a r d i n g s e l f and o t h e r has been found t o d r a m a t i c a l l y i n c r e a s e t h e s t r e s s e x p e r i e n c e d by a d o l e s c e n t s as compared w i t h p r e a d o l e s c e n t s . Furthermore, a d o l e s c e n t s t e n d t o e x p e r i e n c e n e g a t i v e emotions more f r e q u e n t l y than i n p r e a d o l e s c e n c e , accompanied by e v i d e n c e of co n c o m i t a n t s t r e s s , such as d e p r e s s i o n and poor s c h o o l performance ( L a r s o n & Asmussen, 1991). L e v e l s of s e l f - e s t e e m have a l s o been shown t o d e c r e a s e as t h e a d o l e s c e n t moves from e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l t o h i g h s c h o o l and may bev c o n n e c t e d w i t h t h e growth i n c r i t i c a l t h i n k i n g ( L a c k o v i c - G r g i n & D e k o v i c , 1990). I t i s t h e r e f o r e apparent t h a t t h e c o g n i t i v e growth t h a t f u e l s t h e a d o l e s c e n t ' s u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f the s o c i a l w o r l d may be a d a p t i v e over t i m e , but cause c o n s i d e r a b l e h a r d s h i p i n t h e s h o r t term ( L a r s o n & Asmussen). 12 PEER RELATIONSHIPS THE IMPORTANCE OF PEER RELATIONSHIPS The importance o f p o s i t i v e p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s t hroughout t h e l i f e span and i n p a r t i c u l a r d u r i n g a d o l e s c e n c e has been w e l l documented ( H i r s c h , & Dubois, 1989; L a c k o v i c - G r g i n & D e k o v i c , 1990; R a w l i n s , 1989). The e m o t i o n a l impact o f d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h f r i e n d s has been found t o be f a r g r e a t e r t h a n t h e impact of d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h p a r e n t s d u r i n g a d o l e s c e n c e (Larson & Asmussen, 1991). Furthermore, i n r e c e n t y e a r s , young p e o p l e have come t o spend e v e r g r e a t e r amounts of time i n peer groups due t o t h e s o c i a l changes t h a t have r e s u l t e d i n g r e a t e r use of d a y - c a r e , l o n g e r time spent i n s c h o o l , and g r e a t e r emphasis on p a r t i c i p a t i o n i n s p o r t i n g and r e c r e a t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s w i t h p e e r s (Asher, 1990). As a d o l e s c e n t s become l e s s dependent upon t h e i r p a r e n t s f o r s u p p o r t , t h e peer group p r o v i d e s a c c e p t a n c e , s e c u r i t y , e m o t i o n a l v a l i d a t i o n , and g e n e r a l p s y c h o l o g i c a l h e a l t h ( E a s t , Hess, & L e r n e r 1987; H i r s c h & R a p k i n , 1987). However, th e purposes f u l f i l l e d by group membership a r e dependent upon age, c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of s c h o o l and community, and t h e a d o l e s c e n t ' s p o s i t i o n i n the group (Brown, E i c h e r , & P e t r i e , 1986). I n a p a i r o f s t u d i e s , Brown et a l . found t h a t f o r a d o l e s c e n t s who b o t h r a t e d themselves and were r a t e d by o t h e r s as l o n e r s , b e l o n g i n g t o a group was p e r c e i v e d as h a v i n g l i t t l e v a l u e . 13 I n a r e v i e w of t h e l i t e r a t u r e , I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k and F o s t e r , (1990) found t h a t a d o l e s c e n t s seemed t o have f a i r l y c o n s i s t e n t e x p e c t a t i o n s o f f r i e n d s h i p s . T h e i r e x p e c t a t i o n s i n c l u d e s i m i l a r i t y of i n t e r e s t s , l o y a l t y , t r u s t w o r t h i n e s s , mutual s u p p o r t , k e e p i n g c o n f i d e n c e s , and c l o s e n e s s . R a w l i n s (1989) s u g g e s t s t h a t f r i e n d s h i p s p r o v i d e the forum whereby t h e i n d i v i d u a l may a c t i v e l y engage i n t h e d e v e l o p m e n t a l t a s k s of a d o l e s c e n c e . Moreover, R a w l i n s argues t h a t the a d o l e s c e n t ' s c o n c e p t i o n o f s e l f and o t h e r i s a c h i e v e d t h r o u g h a k i n d of i n t e r a c t i v e d i a l e c t i c w i t h i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s . F r i e n d s h i p " i n d i c a t e s c h o o s i n g and/or b e i n g chosen by a n o t h e r p e r s o n , thus s y m b o l i z i n g s o c i a l a c c e p t a n c e " ( R a w l i n s , p . 1 5 1 ) . S a t i s f a c t o r y p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s a l s o r e s u l t i n a p p r o p r i a t e l e a r n i n g about s e l f and o t h e r i n p r e p a r a t i o n f o r h e a l t h y a d u l t r e l a t i o n s h i p s (Tedesco & G a i e r , 1 9 8 8 ) . I n f a c t , the s k i l l s n e c e s s a r y t o d e v e l o p and m a i n t a i n f r i e n d s h i p s i n a d o l e s c e n c e a r e v e r y l i k e t h e s k i l l s r e q u i r e d i n a d u l t l i f e p a r t n e r s h i p s (Buhrmester, 1990) . On t h e o t h e r hand, t o be f r i e n d l e s s and i s o l a t e d tends t o i n d i c a t e s o c i a l f a i l u r e and u n d e s i r a b i l i t y i n N o r t h American s o c i e t y (Perlman & J o s h i , 1 9 8 7 ; S a d l e r , 1 9 7 8 ) . I n t h e i r s t u d y o f the i n f l u e n c e o f peer groups on a d o l e s c e n t s , O ' B r i e n and Bierman (1988) found t h a t a d o l e s c e n t s thought t h a t b e i n g r e j e c t e d would be "an i n d i c a t i o n of t h e i r u n w o r t h i n e s s as an i n d i v i d u a l " (p. 1 3 6 4 ) . Those who l a c k t h e i n t i m a c y o f 14 c l o s e f r i e n d s h i p have been found t o be more i n c l i n e d t o h o s t i l i t y , poor s e l f - e s t e e m , a n x i e t y , d e p r e s s i o n , and u n s o c i a b i l i t y (Buhrmester, 1990). THE SCHOOL SETTING V i r t u a l l y a l l r e s e a r c h on f r i e n d s h i p s and p e e r group p r o c e s s e s i s c o l l e c t e d from t h e s c h o o l s e t t i n g ( C o i e , 1990). S c h o o l - b a s e d f r i e n d s h i p s s e r v e a v a r i e t y of p u r p o s e s ; t h e y p r o v i d e s o c i a l , e m o t i o n a l , and academic s u p p o r t , as w e l l as a l l o w i n g i n d i v i d u a l s t o f e e l c o n n e c t e d w i t h a community ( H i r s c h & Dubois, 1989) . , S c h o o l i s one o f a v e r y few p l a c e s where young p e o p l e make the c o n n e c t i o n s n e c e s s a r y t o d e v e l o p f r i e n d s h i p s ( C l a r k & A y e r s , 1988). A d o l e s c e n t s have r e p o r t e d t h a t t h e i r c l o s e s t r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e t h o s e s c h o o l f r i e n d s h i p s t h a t a r e a l s o m a i n t a i n e d by f u r t h e r c o n t a c t o u t s i d e o f t h e s c h o o l s e t t i n g ( H i r s c h & D u b o i s ) . L a r s o n and Asmussen (1991) found t h a t the s c h o o l c o n t e x t a c c o u n t e d f o r the l a r g e s t s i n g l e category, f o r e n g e n d e r i n g n e g a t i v e emotions amongst the a d o l e s c e n t s they s t u d i e d , w i t h more than a q u a r t e r o f the n e g a t i v e e m o t i o n a l s t a t e s b e i n g a t t r i b u t e d t o d i f f i c u l t i e s a t s c h o o l . Furthermore, peer r e j e c t i o n s t r o n g l y p r e d i c t s poor s c h o o l adjustment, i n c l u d i n g academic and d i s c i p l i n e problems, t r u a n c y , and s c h o o l dropout ( C o i e , 1990). 15 CLASSIFICATIONS OF POOR PEER ACCEPTANCE C h i l d r e n who e x p e r i e n c e l i m i t e d p e e r a c c e p t a n c e , sometimes r e f e r r e d t o as low accepted children ( P a r k e r & Asher, 1987), may be c l a s s i f i e d i n t o two c o n c e p t u a l l y d i s t i n c t c a t e g o r i e s . I n a r e v i e w of t h e l i t e r a t u r e , P a r k e r and Asher found t h a t r e s e a r c h e r s have come t o d i s t i n g u i s h between i n d i v i d u a l s who have few o r no f r i e n d s and a r e a c t i v e l y r e j e c t e d and t h o s e who have few o r no f r i e n d s and a r e n e g l e c t e d , but not d i s l i k e d . I n almost a l l c a s e s , r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n have been found t o s u f f e r g r e a t e r n e g a t i v e consequences due t o t h e i r s t a t u s t h a n do n e g l e c t e d c h i l d r e n (see P a r k e r & Asher 1987). Because the d i f f e r e n c e s between t h e two groups a r e many, t h e d i s t i n c t i o n i s e s s e n t i a l t o b o t h f u t u r e r e s e a r c h and c u r r e n t u n d e r s t a n d i n g ( C o i e , Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1990). More r e c e n t l y , r e s e a r c h e r s have d i s t i n g u i s h e d two sub-groups o f r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s who a r e e i t h e r a g g r e s s i v e o r n o n - a g g r e s s i v e (Kupersmidt & C o i e , 1990; Fr e n c h , 1988; P a r k h u r s t & Asher, 1992; Rubin, LeMare, & L o l l i s , 1990). P a r k h u r s t and Asher c a t e g o r i z e d r e j e c t e d s t u d e n t s as e i t h e r aggressive-rejected o r submissive-rejected and t h e s e subgroups appear t o be e v e n l y d i s t r i b u t e d w i t h i n the l a r g e r group of r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s . A g g r e s s i v e - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s d i s p l a y poor s e l f - c o n t r o l , a n x i e t y , and s o c i a l w i t h d r a w a l as w e l l as a g g r e s s i v e b e h a v i o u r (French, 1988), whereas members o f t h e s u b m i s s i v e group a r e more l i k e l y t o wit h d r a w from p o t e n t i a l l y t h r e a t e n i n g and e m b a r r a s s i n g p e e r i n t e r a c t i o n s as an a d a p t i v e 16 measure. Concern w i t h b e i n g h u m i l i a t e d and r e j e c t e d , as w e l l as h i g h l e v e l s o f l o n e l i n e s s a r e r e p o r t e d by the s u b m i s s i v e group as opposed t o t h e a g g r e s s i v e group who show no s i g n i f i c a n t c oncerns i n t h e s e a r e a s (Pietromonaco & Rook, 1987) . I n t h e i r s t u d y of t h e v i c t i m s of p e e r a g g r e s s i o n , P e r r y , K u s e l , & P e r r y (1988), found two d i s t i n c t groups of v i c t i m s : a g g r e s s i v e and n o n a g g r e s s i v e . On t h e one hand, a g g r e s s i v e v i c t i m s tended t o provoke a t t a c k by t h e i r p e e r s t h r o u g h d i s r u p t i v e and i r r i t a t i n g b e h a v i o r . On t h e o t h e r hand, p a s s i v e v i c t i m s were t i m i d and f e a r f u l , n e i t h e r i n v i t i n g nor r e p e l l i n g a t t a c k s . W h i l e the a g g r e s s i v e / v i c t i m group were found t o be t h e most a c t i v e l y d i s l i k e d among p e e r s , b o t h groups c o u l d be c l a s s e d as r e j e c t e d . C e r t a i n l y t h e r e may be s i m i l a r d e v e l o p m e n t a l i s s u e s a t work f o r v i c t i m s and r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s . Rubin, LeMare, and L o l l i s (1990) t h e o r i z e two d i f f e r e n t d e v e l o p m e n t a l pathways f o r a g g r e s s i v e - r e j e c t e d and s u b m i s s i v e -r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s . I n the f i r s t , v a r i o u s p a r e n t i n g b e l i e f s and c o n d i t i o n s c o u p l e d w i t h a d i f f i c u l t neonate d e v e l o p s a g g r e s s i v e - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s w i t h a p r o g n o s i s of e x t e r n a l i z e d problems, s p e c i f i c a l l y , a p o t e n t i a l f o r s c h o o l dropout i n a d o l e s c e n c e . The second pathway combines d i f f e r e n t c o n d i t i o n s t o c u l m i n a t e i n a s u b m i s s i v e ( w i t h d r a w n ) - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l w i t h a p r o g n o s i s o f i n t e r n a l i z e d problems such as r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s . The p o t e n t i a l f o r the e a r l i e s t 17 i n f a n t - p a r e n t c o n d i t i o n s t o l e a d t o l a t e r p eer s t a t u s c o ncerns i s c o n s i d e r e d i n g r e a t e r d e t a i l i n the subsequent s e c t i o n . ANTECEDENTS OF PEER REJECTION ATTACHMENT Attachment t o p a r e n t s has been found t o have impact on the p s y c h o l o g i c a l w e l l - b e i n g of p e o p l e t h r o u g h a d o l e s c e n c e ( C o t t e r e l l , 1992). R e s e a r c h has s u g g e s t e d t h a t incompetent o r i n s e c u r e attachment w i t h a p a r e n t i s c o n n e c t e d t o l a t e r e m o t i o n a l i s o l a t i o n , h o s t i l i t y , and a n x i e t y and may account f o r t h e d i f f i c u l t y t h a t some i n d i v i d u a l s e x p e r i e n c e i n making-and m a i n t a i n i n g s a t i s f a c t o r y r e l a t i o n s h i p s t h r o u g h o u t l i f e ( H o j a t , 1987; Rubin, LeMare, & L o l l i s , 1990). A f o l l o w - u p s t u d y of i n s t i t u t i o n a l i z e d i n f a n t s found t h a t t h e y a l l had d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h r e l a t i o n s h i p s a t age 16, no m a t t e r where th e y l i v e d i n e a r l y c h i l d h o o d (Hodges & T i z a r d , 1989). These f i n d i n g s suggest t h a t t h e e a r l i e s t p a r e n t - c h i l d r e l a t i o n s h i p a c t s as a model f o r a l l subsequent r e l a t i o n s h i p s and t h a t t h e r e l a t i v e s t r e n g t h of t h e bond p r e d i c t s l a t e r p o s i t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( D i s h i o n , 1988 as c i t e d i n C o i e , 1990). Three major c a t e g o r i e s of i n f a n t - p a r e n t i n t e r a c t i o n have been i d e n t i f i e d : secure attachment, anxious/ambivalent attachment, and avoidant attachment ( A i n s w o r t h , B l e h a r , Waters, & W a l l , 1978). B e h a v i o r s and a t t i t u d e s c o n c o m i t a n t t o each c a t e g o r y a r e thought t o p e r s i s t even i n a d o l e s c e n c e 18 (Greenberg, S i e g e l , & L e i t c h , 1983; Kobak & Sceery, 1988) and t h e r e a r e c l e a r c o n n e c t i o n s between th e a v o i d a n t c a t e g o r y and l a t e r s e l f - r e p o r t s of l o n e l i n e s s (Shaver & Hazan, 1987). I n one r e c e n t s t u d y , a d o l e s c e n t s who demonstrated s e c u r e attachment p e r c e i v e d s i g n i f i c a n t s o c i a l s u p p o r t from f a m i l y and f r i e n d s and a s t r o n g attachment t o f r i e n d s . The r e v e r s e was t r u e o f t h o s e who demonstrated i n s e c u r e attachment ( B l a i n , Thompson, & W h i f f e n , 1993). A l t h o u g h t h o s e who f i t the a n x i o u s / a m b i v a l e n t c a t e g o r y may e x p e r i e n c e d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h o t h e r s t h r o u g h o u t t h e i r l i v e s , t h e y a r e l i k e l y t o have a group of f r i e n d s (Shaver & Hazan, 1987). However, Shaver and Hazan suggest t h a t a v o i d a n t i n d i v i d u a l s may e x p e r i e n c e c o n s i d e r a b l e d i f f i c u l t y i n r e l a t i n g t o p e e r s and may be seen as d i s t a n t and s o c i a l l y i s o l a t e d . T h i s i n f o r m a t i o n was c o n f i r m e d i n a s t u d y by Kobak and S c e e r y (1988), where th e a v o i d a n t group, (termed " D i s m i s s i n g " ) , was a l s o r a t e d by p e e r s as b e i n g more h o s t i l e and a n x i o u s t h a n e i t h e r of t h e o t h e r groups. When Shaver and Hazan (1987) sought t o connect i n f a n t attachment t h e o r y t o r o m a n t i c l o v e , t h e y found t h a t freshmen who demonstrated a v o i d a n t attachment tended t o d i s c l o s e an i d e a l i z e d v e r s i o n of t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h p a r e n t s . S i g n i f i c a n t l y , " D i s m i s s i n g " i n d i v i d u a l s ' i n Kobak and S c e e r y ' s s t u d y d i f f e r e d i n t h e i r s e l f - r e p o r t d a t a from t h a t of p e e r r e p o r t on p e r c e i v e d s o c i a l competence and d i s t r e s s measures. A c c o r d i n g t o t h e a u t h o r s , " t h i s l a c k o f congruence between 19 p eer and s e l f - r e p o r t s can be t e n t a t i v e l y v iewed as e v i d e n c e t h a t t h e " D i s m i s s i n g " group has a b i a s toward not a c k n o w l e d g i n g n e g a t i v e a f f e c t " (p.143). The tendency of t h e s e i n d i v i d u a l s towards a k i n d o f c o g n i t i v e and e m o t i o n a l d i s s o n a n c e i s c o n s i s t e n t w i t h M i j u s k o v i c 1 s (1986) r e c o g n i t i o n of a d o l e s c e n t s b e i n g t o o shamed t o admit l o n e l i n e s s and of B r e n n a n 1 s (1982) a s s e r t i o n t h a t l o n e l y a d o l e s c e n t s a r e c h a r a c t e r i z e d by "...escape, r e p r e s s i o n , d e n i a l , o r o t h e r d e f e n s i v e t a c t i c s . . . " (p.281). PARENTING I t has been s u g g e s t e d t h a t t h r o u g h i n t e r a c t i o n w i t h t h e i r p a r e n t s , c h i l d r e n l e a r n s o c i a l cues and b e h a v i o r s w h i c h they t h e n g e n e r a l i z e t o t h e i r p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s (Macdonald & Park as c i t e d i n P u t a l l a z & H e f l i n , 1990). T h i s p a r t i c u l a r v i e w of p a r e n t - c h i l d r e l a t i o n s h i p s s u g g e s t s an e v o l v i n g a c q u i s i t i o n o f r e l a t i o n s h i p competencies ( D i s h i o n 1988 as c i t e d i n C o i e , 1990). More s p e c i f i c a l l y , P u t a l l a z and H e f l i n propose a model t h a t d e s c r i b e s p a r e n t a l i n f l u e n c e on c h i l d r e n ' s " g e n e r a l s o c i a l o r i e n t a t i o n s o c i a l b e h a v i o r o r s k i l l s , and c o g n i t i v e u n d e r s t a n d i n g of s o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n s , a l l o f w h i c h i n t u r n a f f e c t c h i l d r e n ' s s o c i o m e t r i c s t a t u s " (p.213). I n a r e v i e w of the l i t e r a t u r e c o n c e r n i n g p a r e n t i n g and s o c i a l competence, P u t a l l a z and H e f l i n found f o u r f e a t u r e s o f p a r e n t i n g s t y l e were a s s o c i a t e d w i t h p o s i t i v e p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s f o r c h i l d r e n : 20 1. P a r e n t a l warmth; 2. G e n t l e c o n t r o l ( w i t h warmth); 3. S e n s i t i v i t y , r e s p o n s i v e n e s s , and i n v o l v e m e n t w i t h c h i l d r e n ; 4. D e m ocratic and i n d u c t i v e - r e a s o n i n g approach. I t i s thought t h a t c h i l d r e n whose p a r e n t s m a n i f e s t t h e above q u a l i t i e s d e v e l o p a p o s i t i v e sense o f t h e i r own a b i l i t i e s , as w e l l as a sense o f s e c u r i t y and c o n f i d e n c e . Other r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e m o d e l l e d upon the s u c c e s s f u l r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h p a r e n t s and a p p r o p r i a t e s o c i a l b e h a v i o r i s l e a r n e d from the example of t h e p a r e n t s . Furthermore, Greenberg, S i e g e l , and L e i t c h (1983) found t h a t when a d o l e s c e n t s viewed t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h t h e i r p a r e n t s as p o s i t i v e , the e f f e c t s of h i g h l e v e l s o f s t r e s s were reduced. On t h e o t h e r hand, poor p a r e n t - c h i l d r e l a t i o n s h i p s have been found t o c o r r e l a t e w i t h l o n e l i n e s s (Brennan, 1982). Van B u r s k i l l and Duke (1991) d i s c o v e r e d t h a t f a m i l y c o n f l i c t o r r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s i m p a i r the a b i l i t y o f a t e e n a g e r t o f i n d a p p r o p r i a t e peer r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n o r d e r t o reduce f e e l i n g s o f l o n e l i n e s s . F u r t h e r t o . t h i s , S a d l e r (1978) proposes f i v e d i mensions o f l o n e l i n e s s and n o t e s t h a t e x p e r i e n c i n g l o n e l i n e s s i n one d i m e n s i o n may be b e a r a b l e i f one r e c e i v e s s u p p o r t i n the o t h e r s . F o r the r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t who a l s o r e c e i v e s l i m i t e d s u p p o r t from p a r e n t s , c o p i n g may be a more d i f f i c u l t m a t t e r g i v e n t h a t " m u l t i d i m e n s i o n a l l o n e l i n e s s produces a much h i g h e r volume of 21 s t r e s s ; i t can be and o f t e n i s d e s t r u c t i v e " ( S a d l e r , 1978, p.175) .. COGNITIVE FACTORS C o g n i t i v e d e f i c i t s may account f o r t h e d i f f i c u l t y some p e o p l e have i n e s t a b l i s h i n g and m a i n t a i n i n g p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s . They a p p a r e n t l y f a i l t o p r o c e s s s o c i a l i n f o r m a t i o n i n an a c c u r a t e o r t i m e l y f a s h i o n and t h i s may r e s u l t i n r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s o r poor p e e r s t a t u s (Dodge & Feldman, 1990). I t has been s u g g e s t e d t h a t l e a r n i n g d i s a b i l i t i e s may account f o r t h e i n a b i l i t y o f some p e o p l e t o engage i n s a t i s f a c t o r y p eer r e l a t i o n s h i p s (Bryan, 1991), o s t e n s i b l y because t h o s e w i t h c e r t a i n l e a r n i n g d i s a b i l i t i e s may have d i f f i c u l t y a t t e n d i n g t o and l e a r n i n g a p p r o p r i a t e s o c i a l cues and b e h a v i o r s . O t h e r s have s u g g e s t e d t h a t d e v e l o p m e n t a l d e l a y s i n s o c i a l f u n c t i o n i n g s h o u l d be i n v e s t i g a t e d as a p o s s i b l e a n t e c e d e n t t o peer r e j e c t i o n ( C o i e , Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1990). S o c i a l c o g n i t i o n o f r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n has been found t o r e f l e c t a t t r i b u t i o n a l d i s t o r t i o n s and i n a c c u r a c i e s (Arsanow & C a l l a n , 1985; Dodge & Feldman, 1990). Arsanow and C a l l a n asked p r e a d o l e s c e n t boys t o d e v e l o p s o l u t i o n s t o a s e r i e s o f h y p o t h e t i c a l problems. Boys who were i d e n t i f i e d as h a v i n g peer adjustment problems and low s t a t u s were found t o have l i m i t e d s o c i a l problem s o l v i n g s k i l l s . Low s t a t u s boys 22 g e n e r a t e d fewer mature and a s s e r t i v e s o l u t i o n s but more a g g r e s s i v e s o l u t i o n s . They tended t o r a t e a g g r e s s i v e s o l u t i o n s more p o s i t i v e l y t h a n p r o s o c i a l s o l u t i o n s and t h e y were l e s s a b l e t o engage i n a d a p t i v e p l a n n i n g . These i n d i v i d u a l s were more p o s i t i v e i n t h e i r assessment of a g g r e s s i v e b e h a v i o r t h a n p r o s o c i a l b e h a v i o r . Moreover, n e g a t i v e and i n a c c u r a t e r e s p o n s e s seem t o be s p e c i f i c a l l y and s i t u a t i o n a l l y r e l a t e d t o s o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n s o r p o t e n t i a l l y s t r e s s f u l o r t h r e a t e n i n g e n c o u n t e r s r a t h e r than e v e r y s i t u a t i o n . The i m p o r t a n c e of a g i v e n s i t u a t i o n i s dependent upon the age, gender, and s o c i a l environment of the i n d i v i d u a l as w e l l as h i s o r h e r p a r t i c u l a r i d i o s y n c r a s i e s (Dodge & Feldman, 1 9 9 0 ) . C e r t a i n l y t h e r e may be many d i f f e r e n t d e v e l o p m e n t a l pathways t o becoming a r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l (Dunn & MacGuire, 1 9 9 2 ) . The b e h a v i o r a l and e m o t i o n a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s a r e d i s c u s s e d i n t h e f o l l o w i n g s e c t i o n . CHARACTERISTICS OF REJECTED ADOLESCENTS BEHAVIORAL Re s e a r c h on r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s tends t o i d e n t i f y t y p i c a l b e h a v i o r s a f t e r r e j e c t e d s t a t u s i s a c q u i r e d . T h e r e f o r e i t i s i m p e r a t i v e t h a t we r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h e b e h a v i o r s may be c o n t r i b u t o r y t o r e j e c t i o n o r may j u s t as w e l l be t h e r e s u l t of r e j e c t i o n ( C o i e , Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1 9 9 0 ) . N e v e r t h e l e s s , 23 C o i e and Kupersmidt (1983, as c i t e d i n C o i e et a l . 1990), i n a s t u d y d e s i g n e d t o observe how s t a t u s may be a c q u i r e d o v e r t i m e , found " t h a t s t a t u s i s s t a b l e a c r o s s s e t t i n g s , i n d i c a t i n g t h a t i t i s something about th e c h i l d t h a t a c c o u n t s f o r peer r e j e c t i o n " (p. 4 5 ) . I n a l o n g i t u d i n a l s t u d y , L e r n e r , H e r t z o g , Hooker, H a s s i b i , and Thomas, (1988) found t h a t n e g a t i v e e m o t i o n a l b e h a v i o r s r e p o r t e d i n e a r l y c h i l d h o o d were s t a b l e o v e r time and p r e d i c t e d a d o l e s c e n t adjustment problems. - S e v e r a l e a r l y s t u d i e s o f t h e b e h a v i o r a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of r e l a t e d t o s o c i a l s t a t u s found t h a t p e e r s judged r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s as u n a t t r a c t i v e , u n t i d y , mean, d i s r u p t i v e , and o v e r s e n s i t i v e ( E l k i n s , 1958; F e i n b e r g , Smith, & Schmidt, 1958; G r o n l u n d & Anderson, 1957; as c i t e d i n C o i e , Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1990). More r e c e n t r e s e a r c h has tended t o c o n f i r m e a r l i e r s t u d i e s . V e r b a l and p h y s i c a l a g g r e s s i v e n e s s have been conn e c t e d w i t h b e i n g r e j e c t e d , as have r u l e b r e a k i n g and peremptory and d i s r u p t i v e b e h a v i o r s ( I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k & F o s t e r , 1990). L a t e r r e s e a r c h has a l s o found t h a t r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s seem t o be o v e r s e n s i t i v e w i t h r e g a r d s t o b e i n g t e a s e d ( P a r k h u r s t & Asher, 1992). However, r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s seem t o be the t a r g e t s of g r e a t e r m i s t r e a t m e n t and d e r i s i o n a t t h e hands of t h e i r p e e r s (Olweus, 1977) and t h e i r i n a b i l i t y t o h a n d l e t h i s w e l l seems t o f u r t h e r i n f l u e n c e t h e p e e r group n e g a t i v e l y towards them. R e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s may a l s o be seen as needy and weak ( I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k & F o s t e r 1990). 24 S o c i a l w i t h d r a w a l has been con n e c t e d w i t h r e j e c t i o n . I t appears t h a t a f t e r b e i n g r e b u f f e d i n t h e i r a t t e m p t s t o j o i n i n w i t h t h e pe e r group, i n d i v i d u a l s t e n d t o withdraw ( C o i e , Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1990). However, f a c t o r s o t h e r t h a n n e g a t i v e b e h a v i o r s a l s o i n f l u e n c e s t a t u s . P a r k h u r s t and Asher (1992) found t h a t most h i g h l y a g g r e s s i v e o r h i g h l y s u b m i s s i v e a d o l e s c e n t s were not r e j e c t e d . R a t h e r , the c a p a b i l i t y t o engage i n c e r t a i n p o s i t i v e s o c i a l b e h a v i o r s seemed t o endow c e r t a i n a d o l e s c e n t s w i t h average peer s t a t u s . I t f o l l o w s then, t h a t r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s a r e l a c k i n g i n some p r o s o c i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s e s s e n t i a l t o p o s i t i v e p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s . I n a r e v i e w of t h e r e l a t e d l i t e r a t u r e , C o i e et a l . (1990) found t h a t t h e s e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s g e n e r a l l y i n c l u d e d f r i e n d l i n e s s , h e l p f u l n e s s , and an a b i l i t y t o a b i d e by r u l e s . They a l s o found t h a t r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s were c h a r a c t e r i z e d i n i t i a l l y by a g g r e s s i v e b e h a v i o r s . Over time t h i s seemed t o s h i f t t o i n c l u d e l e s s d i r e c t forms o f a g g r e s s i o n and a tendency t o be b o t h o v e r s e n s i t i v e and s u b j e c t t o d e r i s i o n and e x c l u s i o n by p e e r s . The move towards l e s s d i r e c t forms of a g g r e s s i o n i s thought t o be somehow r e l a t e d t o t h e development of g r e a t e r s e l f - a w a r e n e s s i n a d o l e s c e n c e . EMOTIONAL P a r t i c i p a t i o n i n f r i e n d s h i p s d u r i n g t h e c h i l d h o o d y e a r s appears t o be a f a c t o r i n d e t e r m i n i n g t h e q u a l i t y of l a t e r 25 a f f e c t i v e development ( P a r k e r & Gottman, 1989) and r e j e c t i o n by p e e r s i n c r e a s e s t h e l i k e l i h o o d of l a t e r adjustment d i f f i c u l t i e s (Kupersmidt & C o i e , 1990) . A d o l e s c e n t s a r e much more l i k e l y t han p r e a d o l e s c e n t s t o e x p e r i e n c e n e g a t i v e e m o t i o n a l s t a t e s due t o t h e i r s o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n s ( L a r s o n and Asmussen, 1991). R e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n f e e l s i g n i f i c a n t l y more l o n e l y t h a n c h i l d r e n o f o t h e r s t a t u s (Asher, P a r k h u r s t , Hymel, & W i l l i a m s , 1990; C a s s i d y & Asher, 1989 as c i t e d i n Ladd, 1990). S a d l e r (1987) n o t e s t h a t " o f t e n u n d e r l y i n g a s e a r c h f o r i d e n t i t y t h r o u g h group a c c e p t a n c e and r o l e d e f i n i t i o n t h e r e i s ... l o n e l i n e s s " (p.169). I t has been su g g e s t e d t h a t t h e need f o r c o n n e c t i o n w i t h a n o t h e r human b e i n g i s a fundamental human d r i v e and t h a t f e e l i n g s o f l o n e l i n e s s a r e e x p r e s s e d when such a c o n n e c t i o n i s l a c k i n g ( M i j u s k o v i c , 1986). Others have d e s c r i b e d l o n e l i n e s s d i f f e r e n t l y : as " s e p a r a t i o n d i s t r e s s w i t h o u t an o b j e c t " (Weiss, 1987, p . 4 ) , o r "a d i s c r e p a n c y between one's d e s i r e d and a c h i e v e d l e v e l o f s o c i a l c o n t a c t " ( P e p l a u & Perlman, 1982, c i t e d i n Perlman, 1987, p. 2 1 ) . N e v e r t h e l e s s , t h e consensus seems t o be t h a t l o n e l i n e s s i s an u n p l e a s a n t c o n d i t i o n a r i s i n g from a f e e l i n g of a l i e n a t i o n o r r e j e c t i o n by o t h e r s (Rook, 1984). A l t h o u g h p r e a d o l e s c e n t s may e x p e r i e n c e l o n e l i n e s s , the dev e l o p m e n t a l changes p a r t i c u l a r t o a d o l e s c e n c e h e i g h t e n t h e e x p e r i e n c e s i g n i f i c a n t l y . E m p i r i c a l d a t a has i n d i c a t e d t h a t 26 l o n e l i n e s s seems t o be a t i t s h e i g h t d u r i n g a d o l e s c e n c e ( P a r k h u r s t & Asher, 1992; P e p l a u & G o l d s t o n , 1984; R u b e n s t e i n & Shaver, 1980). I n p a r t i c u l a r , s u b m i s s i v e - r e j e c t e d . a d o l e s c e n t s r e p o r t s i g n i f i c a n t l y h i g h e r l e v e l s of l o n e l i n e s s and concerns about t h e i r s t a t u s than any o t h e r group ( P a r k h u r s t & A s h e r ) . Brennan (1982) s u g g e s t s t h a t " a d o l e s c e n c e seems t o be t h e time of l i f e when l o n e l i n e s s f i r s t emerges as an i n t e n s e , r e c o g n i z a b l e phenomenon" (p.269). Y e t , i t i s a t t h i s t i me when i n d i v i d u a l s seem t o demand g r e a t e r p r i v a c y and time a l o n e . I t - h a s been s u g g e s t e d t h a t s o l i t u d e may be e s s e n t i a l t o t h e s e l f - r e f l e c t i o n n e c e s s a r y t o a c h i e v e t h e d e v e l o p m e n t a l t a s k of i d e n t i t y f o r m a t i o n . However, the r i s k of l o n e l i n e s s may be i n c r e a s e d p r e c i s e l y because th e i d e n t i t y i s not y e t a c o m p l e t e l y autonomous s e l f , c a p a b l e o f s u s t a i n i n g t h e a d o l e s c e n t d u r i n g p e r i o d s of s e l f - i n f l i c t e d s e c l u s i o n ( L a r s e n , 1990). The i n a b i l i t y t o d e v e l o p i n t i m a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h o t h e r s r e s u l t i n g i n f a i l u r e a t the t a s k o f a c h i e v i n g i n t i m a c y o v er i s o l a t i o n may engender w i t h i n t h e a d o l e s c e n t "...a deep sense of i s o l a t i o n " ( E r i k s o n , 1968, p. 136). These normal d e v e l o p m e n t a l p r o c e e d i n g s r e s u l t i n "...a pronounced s t r u g g l e f o r m e a n i n g f u l n e s s i n the a d o l e s c e n t . I f no s a t i s f a c t o r y g o a l i s found, t h e a d o l e s c e n t f a l l s i n t o s t a t e s of boredom and a i m l e s s n e s s , o f t e n d e s c r i b e d i n the l i t e r a t u r e as ' s p i r i t u a l l o n e l i n e s s ' " ( M i j u s k o v i c , 1986, p. 943). 27 S o c i a l f a c t o r s may a l s o p l a y a part i n the a l i e n a t i o n and l o n e l i n e s s of adolescents. Teenagers are s i t u a t e d i n a nether world, n e i t h e r adult nor c h i l d (Mijuskovic, 1986, Young, 1985). Competitiveness, s t r i n g e n t c u l t u r a l expectations regarding s o c i a l a c t i v i t i e s , and i n c r e a s i n g l y f r a g i l e f a m i l y s t r u c t u r e s insure that many adolescents experience a profound sense of l o n e l i n e s s . Features of p e r s o n a l i t y may c o n t r i b u t e to f e e l i n g s of l o n e l i n e s s among adolescents, according to M i j u s k o v i c (1986). Shyness, se l f - c o n s c i o u s n e s s , low self-esteem, and apathy are common features of the adolescent p r o f i l e and are co n s i s t e n t a l s o w i t h the p r o f i l e s of l o n e l y people. In a d d i t i o n to the pain of l o n e l i n e s s , r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s are at r i s k f o r lowered self-esteem (Coie & Koeppl, 1990; E s k i l s o n , Wiley, Muehlbauer, & Dodder, 1986). Adolescents who report lower l e v e l s of s o c i a l a c t i v i t y tend a l s o to report lower self-esteem and sense of s e l f - e f f i c a c y than those who report r e g u l a r s o c i a l a c t i v i t y (Connolly, White, Stevens, & B u r s t e i n , 1987). Low status adolescents are a l s o l e s s accepting of t h e i r mentally challenged peers, perhaps due to fear that they may be as s o c i a t e d w i t h other low status i n d i v i d u a l s (Cowardin, 1986). Peer r e l a t i o n s h i p s are thought to provide the ba s i s f o r adaptive s o c i a l s k i l l s , i n c l u d i n g the development of f e e l i n g s of personal adequacy. In the case of r e j e c t e d adolescents, such important development i s hampered or l a c k i n g (East, Hess, 28 & L e r n e r , 1987). The f o l l o w i n g s e c t i o n more f u l l y d e s c r i b e s the consequences of r e j e c t i o n . THE RESULTS OF REJECTION Poor peer r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n c h i l d h o o d and a d o l e s c e n c e have tended t o p r e d i c t l a t e r problems o f adjustment ( P a r k e r & As h e r 1987; Kupersmidt, C o i e , & Dodge, 1990). C r i m i n a l b e h a v i o u r , mental h e a l t h c o n c e r n s , drug abuse, and s c h o o l problems have been co n n e c t e d t o peer r e j e c t i o n i n c h i l d h o o d and a d o l e s c e n c e (Kupersmidt e t a l . ; S h e d l e r & B l o c k , 1990). I t has been h y p o t h e s i z e d t h a t the t y p e o f problem t h a t an i n d i v i d u a l f a c e s may be r e l a t e d t o the b a s i s o f t h e r e j e c t i o n . A g g r e s s i v e - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s would l i k e l y e n c o u n t e r problems o f e x t e r n a l i z a t i o n such as c r i m i n a l i t y . S u b m i s s i v e -r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s might f a c e i n t e r n a l i z i n g forms o f d i s o r d e r such as d e p r e s s i o n ( C o i e , 1990). R e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n t e n d t o v i e w themselves as l e s s a t t r a c t i v e and a t h l e t i c t han o t h e r c h i l d r e n and a r e r a t e d as a c a d e m i c a l l y and a t h l e t i c a l l y l e s s competent by t h e i r t e a c h e r s (E a s t , Hess, & L e r n e r , 1987). As e a r l y as k i n d e r g a r t e n , p e e r r e j e c t i o n i s connected w i t h lower s c h o o l performance l e v e l s and l e s s f a v o u r a b l e a t t i t u d e s towards s c h o o l (Ladd, 1990). I n the l o n g term, t h o s e who a r e r e j e c t e d a r e more l i k e l y t o drop out o f s c h o o l ( P a r k e r & Asher, 1987, Kupersmidt e t a l . , 1990). Low peer s t a t u s , when accompanied by c h i l d h o o d a g g r e s s i o n , has been shown t o p r e d i c t . f u t u r e c r i m i n a l b e h a v i o u r ( P a r k e r & 29 Asher, 1987; Roff, & Wirt, 1985, Kupersmidt et a l . , 1990). I t has been found that c h i l d r e n who c h a r a c t e r i z e themselves as f r e q u e n t l y being i n t r o u b l e demonstrate greater attachment to t h e i r non-deviant r a t h e r than deviant f r i e n d s (Gillmore, Hawkins, Day, & Catalano, 1992). As to whether t h i s attachment i s r e c i p r o c a l i s not addressed by G i l l m o r e et a l . Other research has i n d i c a t e d that being r e j e c t e d seems to provide i n d i v i d u a l s w i t h fewer peer group options, thus they connect themselves to deviant groups (Coie, Lochman, Terry, & Hyman, 1992), or form t h e i r own groups i n order to compensate f o r t h e i r u n popularity (Hirsch, 1985; Ladd, 1983). In a German study, adolescent g i r l s who f e l t r e j e c t e d by t h e i r peers had a l e s s favourable s e l f image and were a l s o more l i k e l y to a s s o c i a t e w i t h t r o u b l e d peers ( S i l b e r e i s e n , Peterson, A l b r e c h t , & Kracke, 1989). I t i s p o s s i b l e that i n t h e i r d r i v e to belong, adolescents may "seize upon the f i r s t o pportunity f o r belonging that comes along no matter how s u p e r f i c i a l , shallow, hazardous, or damaging to t h e i r own developing sense of s e l f " (Brennan 1982, p. 284). S i g n i f i c a n t l y , adolescents i n v o l v e d i n deviant a c t i v i t i e s such as d r i n k i n g and vandalism report f e e l i n g greater pressure from peers than do those not engaged i n deviant a c t i v i t y ( E s k i l s o n , et a l , 1986). Furthermore, frequent drug users at age 18 have been found to have a h i s t o r y of poor r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h others i n a d d i t i o n to other self-esteem and s t r e s s r e l a t e d behaviours (Shedler & Block, 1990). 30 I n an essay d i s c u s s i n g t h e d i s c i p l i n e o f d e v e l o p m e n t a l p s y c h o p a t h o l o g y , S r o u f e and R u t t e r , (1984) s u g g e s t e d t h a t poor p e e r r e l a t i o n s c o u l d b r o a d l y p r e d i c t l a t e r d i s o r d e r e d b e h a v i o u r . Numerous s t u d i e s have s u p p o r t e d t h i s ( C o i e , Lochman, T e r r y , & Hyman, 1992; Kupersmidt & C o i e , 1990; S i l b e r e i s e n e t a l . 1989). Many t h e o r i e s a r e o f f e r e d t o e x p l a i n t h i s . Inadequate communication w i t h f r i e n d s o r s e l f -doubt about f r i e n d s h i p s may r e s t r i c t an a d o l e s c e n t ' s p s y c h o l o g i c a l adjustment ( C l a e s , 1992). I t i s a l s o p o s s i b l e t h a t l a c k o f p o s i t i v e p e e r i n t e r a c t i o n impedes the a d o l e s c e n t ' s a b i l i t y t o cope w i t h l i f e s t r e s s o r s , thus r e s u l t i n g i n m a l a d a p t i v e c o p i n g s t r a t e g i e s and s t r e s s r e l a t e d d i f f i c u l t i e s . S o c i a l s u p p o r t t h a t might r e l i e v e the p r e s s u r e s o f a d o l e s c e n c e i s absent (Buhrmester, 1990). Moreover, r e j e c t i o n may i n i t s e l f be a s t r e s s o r t h a t c o n t r i b u t e s t o a l a t e r d i s o r d e r (Kupersmidt & C o i e , 1990), o r may. i n d i c a t e low s o c i a l s u p p o r t and c o p i n g s k i l l s , a g a i n i n c r e a s i n g the p o t e n t i a l f o r subsequent b e h a v i o u r a l d i f f i c u l t i e s ( C o i e , 1990). However, r e j e c t i o n i s c o r r e l a t i v e and may i n d i c a t e o t h e r d e v e l o p m e n t a l p r o c e s s e s t h a t p r e c i p i t a t e d i s o r d e r r a t h e r t h a n b e i n g d i r e c t l y c a u s a l ( P a r k e r & Asher, 1987). C o i e (1990) has s u g g e s t e d a f o u r - p a r t d e s c r i p t i o n of t h e development of t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l : 1. A p r e c u r s o r phase 2. An emergent s t a t u s phase 31 3 . A maintenance phase 4 . A consequence phase The p r e c u r s o r s t a g e , where b e l i e f s , a t t i t u d e s , b e h a v i o u r s , and s o c i a l competencies a r e d e v e l o p e d has been d i s c u s s e d i n a p r e v i o u s s e c t i o n of t h i s r e v i e w . The emergent s t a t u s s t a g e , where i n t e r a c t i o n s w i t h a peer group i d e n t i f y t h e i n d i v i d u a l as r e j e c t e d l i k e l y o c c u r s d u r i n g t h e e a r l i e s t e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l y e a r s . A d o l e s c e n t s may be seen as moving t h r o u g h the maintenance phase, where t h e i r r e j e c t e d s t a t u s and t h e b e h a v i o u r s t h a t m a i n t a i n i t a r e w e l l e n t r e n c h e d i n the peer group c u l t u r e . However, t h e y a r e a l s o l i k e l y t o be d e a l i n g w i t h t h e consequences o u t l i n e d p r e v i o u s l y . IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELLING THE IMPORTANCE OF INTERVENTION I t i s c l e a r t h a t r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n a r e a t r i s k f o r l a t e r a djustment problems t h a t may i n c l u d e s u b s t a n c e abuse, p s y c h i a t r i c d i s o r d e r s , • and d r o p p i n g out o f s c h o o l . I n d i v i d u a l s may e x p e r i e n c e s o c i a l and e m o t i o n a l i s o l a t i o n t h a t d i m i n i s h e s t h e i r q u a l i t y of l i f e t o a g r e a t degree. Severe v i c t i m i z a t i o n , w h i c h as many as 10% of c h i l d r e n may s u f f e r has been found t o be h i g h l y c o r r e l a t e d w i t h r e j e c t i o n and i s s t a b l e o v er t i m e , ( P e r r y , K u s e l , & P e r r y , 1 9 8 8 ). Hence, r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n may c o n t i n u e t o be r e j e c t e d w i t h i n t h e i r s c h o o l p eer groups o v e r time i f no i n t e r v e n t i o n o c c u r s ( C o i e , 32 & Koeppl, 1990). S i n c e r e s e a r c h has i n d i c a t e d t h a t i t i s p o s s i b l e t o i d e n t i f y "at r i s k " c h i l d r e n (Kupersmidt, & C o i e , 1990) i t seems e s s e n t i a l t h a t some k i n d of c o u n s e l l i n g i n t e r v e n t i o n i s a p p l i e d where p o s s i b l e i n o r d e r t o r e l i e v e t h e s t r e s s on t h e s e i n d i v i d u a l s . COUNSELLING CONCERNS A l t h o u g h i n d i v i d u a l s may be i d e n t i f i e d , t h e d i f f i c u l t y may l i e i n p r o v i d i n g t h e c o n d i t i o n s whereby t h e c l i e n t w i l l f e e l a b l e t o acknowledge the problem. M i j u s k o v i c (1986) s u g g e s t s t h a t i n o r d e r t o somehow a m e l i o r a t e l o n e l i n e s s , one must admit t o i t s e x i s t e n c e . A d o l e s c e n t s , he sa y s , " ...are ashamed t o 'con f e s s ' t o ( t h e i r ) l o n e l i n e s s . I t would i n d i c a t e - i n d e e d b e t r a y - our f e a r of b e i n g d i f f e r e n t , s e p a r a t e , c u t o f f " (p.945). Some a d o l e s c e n t s m i n i m i z e o r deny t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s t h e y have w i t h r e l a t i o n s h i p s (Brennan, 1982), o r do not seem t o r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h e y have p e e r d i f f i c u l t i e s ( C o i e , 1990). C l a r k & A y e r s (1988) found t h a t a d o l e s c e n t s whose f r i e n d s h i p c h o i c e s were not r e c i p r o c a t e d seemed t o nominate h i g h e r s t a t u s i n d i v i d u a l s as f r i e n d s , i n d i c a t i n g a f r u i t l e s s d e s i r e t o magnify t h e i r own s t a t u s . I n d i v i d u a l s such as the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d may be l e s s m o t i v a t e d t o seek c o u n s e l l i n g i n the f i r s t p l a c e , l e t a l o n e p a r t i c i p a t e i n a s p e c i f i c i n t e r v e n t i o n aimed a t enhancing p r o s o c i a l s k i l l s . The i n d i v i d u a l may be i n s u l t e d by t h e s u g g e s t i o n t h a t he o r she needs h e l p (Coie & Ko e p p l , 1990) . 33 F u r t h e r d i f f i c u l t i e s i n a s s i s t i n g r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s has been d i s c u s s e d by Hymel (1986). She p o s i t s t h a t t h e s o c i a l s k i l l s d e f i c i t model, t h e b a s i s f o r many i n t e r v e n t i o n s , presumes t h a t once the r e j e c t e d c h i l d l e a r n s b e t t e r ways of i n t e r a c t i n g , p e e r s w i l l change i n t h e i r r e s ponse t o him o r her , y e t i n a r e v i e w of r e l a t e d l i t e r a t u r e , Hymel, Wagner, & B u t l e r (1990) found t h a t t h e r e i s no s t r o n g e v i d e n c e f o r t h i s . Indeed i t appears t h a t p e e r s a r e somewhat r e s i s t a n t t o chan g i n g t h e i r n o t i o n s r e g a r d i n g r e j e c t e d p e e r s . Some s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n e r s have s u g g e s t e d t h a t due t o t h e problem o f r e p u t a t i o n a l b i a s e s t h a t t h e most a p p r o p r i a t e t ime f o r such i n t e r v e n t i o n i s d u r i n g t h e p r e s c h o o l y e a r s b e f o r e s t a b l e g r o u p i n g s have d e v e l o p e d (Hymel, Wagner, & B u t l e r , 1990; M i z e & Ladd, 1990). S o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g s h o u l d be aimed a t b e h a v i o u r s t h a t a r e e m p i r i c a l l y c o n n e c t e d t o pe e r a c c e p t a n c e , r a t h e r t h a n b e h a v i o u r s supposed by a d u l t s t o be so ( I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k & F o s t e r , 1990). I t has been h y p o t h e s i z e d t h a t elements o f s o c i a l o r b e h a v i o u r a l competence must a l s o be co n n e c t e d w i t h g o a l s t h a t a r e d e v e l o p m e n t a l l y and s i t u a t i o n a l l y r e l e v a n t t o the group a t t h a t time (Dodge & Feldman, 1990). F o r example, the competencies r e q u i r e d f o r s a t i s f a c t o r y b a s k e t b a l l team membership d i f f e r s u b s t a n t i a l l y from t h o s e r e q u i r e d f o r l i s t e n i n g t o music w i t h a group of p e e r s . Moreover, t h e s o c i a l s k i l l s • d e f i c i t model tends t o f o c u s p r i m a r i l y on b e h a v i o u r a l c o n c e r n s , thus n e g a t i n g the e f f e c t o f o t h e r 34 a t t r i b u t e s such as p h y s i c a l appearance, c l o t h i n g , o r e t h n i c i t y (Hymel e t a l . ) . Hymel's (1986) r e s e a r c h showed t h a t a l l i n d i v i d u a l s engaged i n b o t h p o s i t i v e and n e g a t i v e b e h a v i o u r s . However, a d o l e s c e n t s tended t o a s c r i b e n e g a t i v e b e h a v i o u r s on t h e p a r t o f l i k e d i n d i v i d u a l s t o u n s t a b l e causes and as such were seen as u n l i k e l y t o be r e p e a t e d . I n the case of d i s l i k e d i n d i v i d u a l s , t h e co n v e r s e was thought t o be t r u e : n e g a t i v e a c t i o n s were p e r c e i v e d as b e i n g due t o s t a b l e causes, l i k e l y t o r e c u r . D i s l i k e d i n d i v i d u a l s were a l s o a s s i g n e d more r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r t h e i r n e g a t i v e b e h a v i o u r t h a n were l i k e d p e e r s . S i n c e b i a s p l a y s a r o l e i n p r e s e r v i n g n e g a t i v e a t t i t u d e s towards d i s l i k e d i n d i v i d u a l s , t h e r e a c t i o n o f p e e r s s h o u l d be c o n s i d e r e d when im p l e m e n t i n g a program o f i n t e r v e n t i o n . F i n a l l y , i t may be t h a t f o r a g g r e s s i v e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s , a g g r e s s i o n i s a p u r p o s e f u l a c t t h a t s e r v e s t h e i r p a r t i c u l a r needs w e l l , o r t h e y may f i n d a g g r e s s i o n a p o s i t i v e s o l u t i o n t o t h e i r problems. I n t h i s case, s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g , w h i c h assumes t h a t d i s t u r b a n c e s o f the harmonious s o c i a l o r d e r a r e i n d i c a t i v e o f a d e f i c i e n c y i n s o c i a l s k i l l s may be l e s s u s e f u l t h a n a c o u r s e i n mor a l development (Dunn & McGuire, 1 9 9 2 ) . A more d e t a i l e d e x a m i n a t i o n o f v a r i o u s i n t e r v e n t i o n s f o l l o w s . 35 COUNSELLING STRATEGIES SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING S o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g programs have been d e v e l o p e d o v e r t h e p a s t f i f t e e n y e a r s t o t e a c h r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s t h e competencies t h a t r e s e a r c h has s u g g e s t e d t h e y l a c k (Asher, 1990). I n i t i a l l y , s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g f o c u s s e d upon i n c r e a s i n g s o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n s t o c o u n t e r a c t i s o l a t i o n . More r e c e n t methods have t a k e n i n t o account t h e need f o r s k i l l development, and t h e r e i n f o r c e m e n t of p o s i t i v e s o c i a l b e h a v i o u r s , o r p r o s o c i a l s k i l l s (Bierman, 1986; C o i e & K o e p p l , 1990). P a r k h u r s t and A s h e r (1992), suggest t h a t b o t h a g g r e s s i v e and s u b m i s s i v e - r e j e c t e d s t u d e n t s would b e n e f i t from a program t h a t f o c u s s e d on d e v e l o p i n g t h e " p r o s o c i a l q u a l i t i e s of t h e i r i n t e r a c t i o n s w i t h p e e r s " '(p.239). However, age and gender d i f f e r e n c e s of s p e c i f i c p e e r groups f r e q u e n t l y o c c u r and s h o u l d be t a k e n i n t o account when d e s i g n i n g a s o c i a l s k i l l s i n t e r v e n t i o n ( I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k & F o s t e r , 1990). E a r l y n e g a t i v e b e h a v i o u r s i n a p e e r group have been shown t o c o n t r i b u t e t o b o t h n e g a t i v e r e p u t a t i o n and e v e n t u a l low p eer group s t a t u s (Ladd, P r i c e , & H a r t , 1990) . S o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g s h o u l d t a k e p l a c e e a r l y i n t h e s c h o o l y e a r o r s c h o o l c a r e e r when r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e l e s s c l e a r l y d e f i n e d (Oden & Asher, 1977) and s h o u l d t e a c h i n d i v i d u a l s t o a v o i d g a i n i n g a n e g a t i v e r e p u t a t i o n i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e . I n t h e event t h a t a 36 n e g a t i v e r e p u t a t i o n i s i n p l a c e , then th e i n d i v i d u a l s h o u l d be p r e p a r e d f o r t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of c o n t i n u e d n e g a t i v e r esponses d e s p i t e changed b e h a v i o u r (Hymel, Wagner, & B u t l e r , 1990). The r e s e a r c h of Biermann, M i l l e r , and Stabb (1987) c i t e d i n C o i e and Koeppl (1990) c o n f i r m e d t h a t g a i n s i n p r o s o c i a l b e h a v i o u r s found a f t e r a s o c i a l s k i l l s program was a d m i n i s t e r e d t o r e j e c t e d boys were not matched by g a i n s i n s o c i a l a c c e p t a n c e . Ladd et a l . (1990) a l s o found t h a t r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n had a g r e a t e r range of peer c o n t a c t s l a t e r i n t h e y e a r than t h o s e who were not r e j e c t e d . They suggest t h a t t h i s i m p l i e s t h a t r e j e c t e d c h i l d r e n may make many c o n t a c t s t r y i n g t o f i n d someone who w i l l p l a y w i t h them. T h e r e f o r e , t h e y propose t h a t i n t e r v e n t i o n s w i t h t h e s e c h i l d r e n s h o u l d h e l p them e s t a b l i s h and m a i n t a i n p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s r a t h e r t h a n s i m p l y making more c o n t a c t . I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k and F o s t e r (1990) a l s o a d v i s e t h a t r e l a t i o n s h i p s s e r v e as b o t h the c o n t e x t i n w h i c h the b e h a v i o u r s o c c u r , as w e l l as the d e f i n i n g f e a t u r e o f program s u c c e s s . T h e r e f o r e , any i n t e r v e n t i o n s h o u l d be e v a l u a t e d i n terms of t h e degree t o w h i c h a d o l e s c e n t s g a i n new s k i l l s and new, s u s t a i n e d f r i e n d s h i p s . Programs have been found t o be more s u c c e s s f u l i n c r e a t i n g b o t h b e h a v i o u r a l and s t a t u s change when c a r e f u l s c r e e n i n g has i d e n t i f i e d i n d i v i d u a l s w i t h low s o c i o m e t r i c s t a t u s and a d e f i c i e n c y i n t h e t a r g e t e d s k i l l s (Bierman & Furman, 1984). When c a r e f u l l y s e l e c t e d , low s t a t u s i n d i v i d u a l s l e a r n e d and p r a c t i s e d c o n v e r s a t i o n a l s k i l l s w i t h r e g u l a r s t a t u s p e e r s i n a 37 s u p p o r t i v e and m o t i v a t i n g s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g program, g a i n s i n peer a c c e p t a n c e and c o n v e r s a t i o n a l s k i l l were n o t e d beyond t h e c o n f i n e s o f the program (Bierman, 1986). I t i s p o s s i b l e t h e n , t h a t m o t i v a t i o n may p l a y a p a r t i n t h e s u c c e s s of s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g . F u rthermore, t h e v e r y a c t of t r a i n i n g not o n l y t h e d e f i c i e n t i n d i v i d u a l , but a l s o t h e p e e r s may have d e c r e a s e d t h e e f f e c t s o f r e p u t a t i o n a l b i a s (Bierman). In an o u t l i n e o f two programs s p e c i f i c a l l y t a r g e t i n g a g g r e s s i v e - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s , C o i e and Koeppl (1990) propose d i r e c t i n g the i n t e r v e n t i o n p r i m a r i l y towards t e a c h e r s and p a r e n t s . T h i s f i r s t i n t e r v e n t i o n presupposes t h a t t h e a g g r e s s i v e b e h a v i o u r has been l e a r n e d from and i s r e i n f o r c e d by p a r e n t s and t h e r e f o r e t h e y must l e a r n o t h e r s t r a t e g i e s so as not t o reward o r r e i n f o r c e i n a p p r o p r i a t e b e h a v i o u r s . On t h e o t h e r hand, p a r e n t s a r e a l s o t a u g h t t o encourage p r o s o c i a l a c t i o n s . The second i n t e r v e n t i o n c o n c e n t r a t e s on t r a i n i n g t h e t a r g e t i n d i v i d u a l t o r e c o g n i z e a g g r e s s i v e a r o u s a l and use s e l f - t a l k and problem s o l v i n g s t r a t e g i e s t o f i n d more a d a p t i v e s o l u t i o n s . F u r t h e r t o t h i s , i n d i v i d u a l s engage i n " s t r e s s i n o c u l a t i o n " where s t r e s s f u l s i t u a t i o n s a r e r e h e a r s e d and a p p r o p r i a t e responses g e n e r a t e d and p r a c t i s e d . I n t e r v e n t i o n s i n s c h o o l s have g e n e r a l l y t a k e n t h e form of s h a p i n g p r o c e d u r e s such as t o k e n - r e w a r d o r r e s p o n s e - c o s t methods. . I n t h e f i r s t , a p p r o p r i a t e b e h a v i o u r i s rewarded by some s m a l l t o k e n and i n t h e second, p o s i t i v e r e i n f o r c e m e n t i s 38 p r o v i d e d f o r a s p e c i f i c b e h a v i o u r o r a c t i o n . S t u d i e s have found b o t h methods t o be e x t r e m e l y e f f e c t i v e i n the s h o r t term. However, no d a t a has o b s e r v e d l o n g term maintenance o f p o s i t i v e b e h a v i o u r s due t o th e s e i n t e r v e n t i o n s (Coie & Koeppl, 1990) . PSYCHODYNAMIC APPROACHES Hojak (1987) proposes t h a t s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g i s a somewhat s i m p l i s t i c approach t o a r a t h e r more c o m p l i c a t e d i s s u e . I t i s h i s t h e o r y t h a t poor r e l a t i o n s h i p s k i l l s a r e r e l a t e d t o e a r l y d i s t u r b a n c e o f the bond between i n f a n t and p r i m a r y c a r e - g i v e r and t h a t t h e a p p r o p r i a t e i n t e r v e n t i o n i s a p s y c h o a n a l y t i c e x a m i n a t i o n o f the c l i e n t s ' f e a r s o f i n t i m a c y and r e j e c t i o n w i t h a t t e n t i o n t o t h e a s p e c t of t r a n s f e r e n c e . Shaver and Hazan (1987) suggest t h a t poor p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s and l o n e l i n e s s may be a m e l i o r a t e d by e i t h e r a change i n p a r e n t i n g s t r a t e g i e s ( o s t e n s i b l y e a r l i e r i n l i f e ) o r , perhaps l a t e r "...a r e o r g a n i z a t i o n of s e l f and r e l a t i o n s h i p s , a r e o r g a n i z a t i o n based p a r t l y on r e c o g n i t i o n and a c c e p t a n c e of p a s t n e g a t i v e e x p e r i e n c e s " (p.121). However, the a d o l e s c e n t may be t o o o l d t o g a i n t h e b e n e f i t of a change i n p a r e n t i n g arid t o o young t o move beyond d e n i a l o f h i s o r h e r e x p e r i e n c e i n o r d e r t o " r e o r g a n i z e . " A c c o r d i n g t o M i j u s k o v i c (1986), a f t e r r e c o g n i z i n g one's l o n e l i n e s s , t h e n t h e "source of t h e s p e c i f i c l o n e l i n e s s must be d i s c o v e r e d and c o n f r o n t e d , and e f f e c t i v e means f o r r e -39 e s t a b l i s h i n g a ' b e l o n g i n g r e l a t i o n ' must be i n s t i t u t e d , o r a s u b s t i t u t e ' b e l o n g i n g r e l a t i o n ' must be p r o v i d e d and s e c u r e d . " (p. 947). M i j u s k o v i c a l s o s u g g e s t s t h a t l o n e l i n e s s may be eased, though not overcome, t h r o u g h engagement i n c a r e e r , t r a v e l , amusements and so on. F u rthermore, he proposes t h a t a l l humans a r e l o n e l y and s t r u g g l e throughout t h e i r l i v e s t o overcome t h e i r i s o l a t i o n . He submits t h a t by h o l d i n g such a comprehensive w o r l d - v i e w of human b e h a v i o u r , and h a v i n g "a genuine c o n c e r n f o r t h e i r c l i e n t s , " (p.949) c o u n s e l l o r s may g e n e r a l l y be a b l e t o a s s i s t t h e i r c l i e n t s . BIBLIOTHERAPY B i b l i o t h e r a p y has been s u g g e s t e d as a p o t e n t i a l l y r i c h and n o n - c o n f r o n t a t i o n a l t o o l f o r use w i t h t h e s o c i a l l y i s o l a t e d a d o l e s c e n t (Nickolai-Mays,- 1987). She m a i n t a i n s t h a t w h i l e s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g may be e f f e c t i v e f o r r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s , i t i s p o s s i b l e t h a t t h e approach may be t o o be c o n f r o n t a t i o n a l . T h i s seems c o n s i s t e n t w i t h t h e n o t i o n t h a t the a d o l e s c e n t may be embarrassed about h i s o r h e r s t a t u s and u n w i l l i n g t o admit t o a p r o blem as was found i n c o n n e c t i o n w i t h l o n e l y a d o l e s c e n t s (Brennan, 1982; M i j u s k o v i c 1986; Shaver, & Hazan, 1987). N i c k o l a i - M a y s s u g g e s t s t h a t b i b l i o t h e r a p y ( i n c l u d i n g use of a p p r o p r i a t e a u d i o - v i s u a l m a t e r i a l s ) , s e n s i t i v e l y approached, can s u b t l y p r o v i d e t h e a d o l e s c e n t w i t h i n s i g h t and u n d e r s t a n d i n g , as w e l l as models f o r e f f e c t i v e b e h a v i o u r a l change. 40 OTHER STRATEGIES I t has a l s o been s u g g e s t e d t h a t t e a c h e r s might encourage b o t h s c h o o l and n o n s c h o o l c o n t a c t among s t u d e n t s t h r o u g h t h o u g h t f u l assignments, t h a t c o u l d c u l t i v a t e f r i e n d s h i p s ( H i r s c h & Dubois, 1 9 8 9 ) . T e a c h i n g methods t h a t promote c o o p e r a t i o n and s o c i a l i z a t i o n may augment s o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n ( F e t r o & V i t e l l o , 1 9 8 8 ) . S m a l l group a c t i v i t i e s w i t h a s i g n i f i c a n t a d u l t aimed a t community s e r v i c e have r e s u l t e d i n reduced d i s c i p l i n e problems and l e v e l s of a l i e n a t i o n among a d o l e s c e n t s ( C a l a b r e s e & Schumer, 1 9 8 6 ) . These, may be p a r t i c u l a r l y e f f e c t i v e i f implemented a f t e r s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g where c o o p e r a t i v e a c t i v i t i e s might encourage p o s i t i v e response from the p e e r group t o the new b e h a v i o u r s of the t a r g e t i n d i v i d u a l (Hymel e t a l , 1 9 9 0 ) . T h i s s u p p o r t s t h e n o t i o n t h a t w o r k i n g w i t h i n a group may p r o v i d e g r e a t e r o p p o r t u n i t y f o r r e a l l i f e l e a r n i n g o f s o c i a l s k i l l s ( I n d e r b i t z e n - P i s a r u k & F o s t e r , 1 9 9 0 ) . Others have s u g g e s t e d t h a t , g i v e n t h e r e s i s t a n c e o f peer groups t o chan g i n g t h e i r b e h a v i o u r s i n t h e f a c e o f more a p p r o p r i a t e b e h a v i o u r l e a r n e d by a r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l , t h a t i n t e r v e n t i o n s s h o u l d be d e s i g n e d t h a t f o c u s on chan g i n g t h e a t t i t u d e s of the group toward t h e i n d i v i d u a l (Hymel e t a l , 1 9 9 0 ) . E d u c a t o r s might t h e r e f o r e f o c u s on t e a c h i n g s t u d e n t s t o v i e w each o t h e r i n a more d i f f e r e n t i a t e d o r s e n s i t i v e way or t o c r e d i t t h e b e h a v i o u r of r e j e c t e d p e e r s more p o s i t i v e l y (Hymel et a l , 1 9 9 0 ) . 41 CHAPTER I I I METHODOLOGY The i n v e s t i g a t i o n o f a l i v e d e x p e r i e n c e r e q u i r e s methods of c o l l e c t i n g and examining m a t e r i a l t h a t a r e s e n s i t i v e and a l l o w a r i c h l y d e s c r i p t i v e t r e a t m e n t o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e t o ensue. Phenomenology and a s i n g l e case s t u d y d e s i g n , as employed i n t h i s s t u d y , a r e c o m p a t i b l e w i t h t h i s . The . c o l l e c t i o n and a n a l y s i s o f the m a t e r i a l was conducted by means of t h e hermeneutic p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l method d e s c r i b e d by van Manen, (1990). RESEARCH DESIGN PHENOMENOLOGY Phenomenology has been advanced as t h e most e f f e c t i v e a pproach t o r e s e a r c h w h i c h aims t o i n v e s t i g a t e and d e s c r i b e a human e x p e r i e n c e ( C o l a i z z i , 1978; G i o r g i , 1986; S a d l e r , 1978; Sto k e s , 1987). G i o r g i (1986) s t a t e s ; . . . i n p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l r e d u c t i o n we d e a l w i t h p r e s e n c e s and not e x i s t e n c e s . So we're not so much concerned w i t h the way t h i n g s a c t u a l l y a r e o r were as t h e way i n whi c h t h e y appear t o t h e s u b j e c t s . P s y c h o l o g y v e r y much depends upon such p r e s e n c e s , i . e . the way things are experienced 42 by subjects (p.16). Phenomenology seeks to understand that which i s unique and i r r e p l a c e a b l e r a t h e r than r e p l i c a b l e and q u a n t i f i a b l e . I t "remains w i t h the human experience as i t i s experienced" and " t r i e s to s u s t a i n contact w i t h experience as i t i s given" ( C o l a i z z i , p.53).. HERMENEUTIC PHENOMENOLOGY Hermeneutic phenomenological i n q u i r y , as presented by van Manen (1990), i s a k i n d of h y b r i d approach to research, connecting the i n t e r p r e t i v e methodology of hermeneutics w i t h the more d e s c r i p t i v e nature of phenomenology. This form of i n q u i r y seeks to gain a f u l l understanding of a human experience. I t " i s a human science which stud i e s persons" (van Manen, p. 6) as opposed to disembodied subj e c t s . Van Manen suggests that through the experience and r e f l e c t i o n of another person, i t i s p o s s i b l e to develop a more profound understanding of a piece of human experience as i t i s c o n t e x t u a l l y embedded w i t h i n the whole of human experience. Although Moustakas (1990) takes pains to demonstrate the d i f f e r e n c e s between, h e u r i s t i c and phenomenological methods, h i s d e s c r i p t i o n of the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of h e u r i s t i c research i s h i g h l y compatible w i t h the d e s c r i p t i o n of hermeneutic phenomenology given by van Manen. Moustakas proposes f i v e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of h e u r i s t i c i n q u i r y : 1. I t seeks to r e v e a l more f u l l y the,essence 43 o r meaning of a phenomenon of human e x p e r i e n c e . 2. I t seeks t o d i s c o v e r t h e q u a l i t a t i v e d i m e n s i o n s o f the phenomenon. 3. I t engages one's t o t a l s e l f and evokes a p e r s o n a l and p a s s i o n a t e i n v o l v e m e n t and a c t i v e p a r t i c i p a t i o n i n t h e p r o c e s s . 4. I t does not seek t o p r e d i c t o r t o de t e r m i n e c a u s a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s . 5. I t i s i l l u m i n a t e d t h r o u g h c a r e f u l d e s c r i p t i o n s , i l l u s t r a t i o n s , metaphors, p o e t r y , d i a l o g u e , and o t h e r c r e a t i v e r e n d e r i n g s r a t h e r t h a n by measurements, r a t i n g s , o r s c o r e s (p.42). T h i s s t u d y has been i n f o r m e d by t h e s e a t t r i b u t e s of h e u r i s t i c i n v e s t i g a t i o n . CASE STUDY I n t h e p r e s e n t i n v e s t i g a t i o n , s i n g l e case s t u d y was chosen as t h e v e h i c l e i n whi c h the e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n c o u l d be f u l l y e x p l o r e d as a l i v e d e x p e r i e n c e . A c c o r d i n g t o Y i n (1989),the case s t u d y " i n v e s t i g a t e s a contemporary phenomenon w i t h i n i t s r e a l - l i f e c o n t e x t " (p. 2 3 ) . Moreover, i t i s e m i n e n t l y c o m p a t i b l e w i t h e i t h e r an h e u r i s t i c o r hermeneutic p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l approach t o r e s e a r c h . Whereas e x p e r i m e n t a l r e s e a r c h d e l i b e r a t e l y m a n i p u l a t e s c o n t e x t and su r v e y r e s e a r c h l i m i t s v a r i a b l e s , t h e case s t u d y may embrace b o t h r e a l - l i f e c o n t e x t and i t s abundant v a r i a b l e s as e s s e n t i a l 44 elements i n u n d e r s t a n d i n g a complex e n t i t y . The nuances and c o m p l e x i t i e s of t h e i n d i v i d u a l a r e most m e a n i n g f u l l y e x p l o r e d t h r o u g h a s i n g l e case s t u d y . SELECTION OF THE CO-RESEARCHER C o l a i z z i (1978) s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e s u b j e c t of t h e s t u d y be r e f e r r e d t o as t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r , i n d i c a t i n g t h a t t h e r e s e a r c h e r and c o - r e s e a r c h e r a r e p a r t n e r s i n t h e p r o c e s s . Furthermore, a st u d y such as t h i s r e q u i r e d t h e p a r t i c i p a t i o n of an i n d i v i d u a l who had b o t h t h e e x p e r i e n c e b e i n g i n v e s t i g a t e d as w e l l as t h e a b i l i t y and w i l l i n g n e s s t o t a l k about i t . The c o - r e s e a r c h e r s h o u l d e x e m p l i f y a " t y p i c a l case" where the i n v e s t i g a t o r " d e v e l o p ( s ) a p r o f i l e o f c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of an average case and the n f i n d ( s ) an example o f the case" ( M c M i l l a n & Schumacher, 1989, p.184). T h i s p r o c e s s a l s o conforms t o t h e p r i n c i p l e s of t h e o r e t i c a l s a m p l i n g , where the r e s e a r c h e r s e l e c t s i n d i v i d u a l s w i t h s p e c i f i c c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and i s t h e r e a f t e r a b l e t o p r o v i d e a p p r o p r i a t e e x t e r n a l v a l i d i t y by g e n e r a l i z i n g o n l y t o t h a t p o p u l a t i o n (Neimeyer & R e s n i k o f f , 1982). The d e f i n i t i o n of terms i n c l u d e d i n c h a p t e r one o u t l i n e d t h e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s sought o f the c o - r e s e a r c h e r . They i n c l u d e d : a c t i v e harassment by p e e r s as r e c o l l e c t e d by s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r s , e v i d e n c e o f peer r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s i n c u m u l a t i v e f i l e d a t a , and s e l f - r e p o r t by an i n d i v i d u a l of b e i n g " p i c k e d - o n " o r of b e i n g l o n e l y . 45 P o t e n t i a l c o - r e s e a r c h e r s were s o l i c i t e d by a s m a l l n o t i c e p o s t e d i n a h a l l w a y by t h e c o u n s e l l i n g o f f i c e a t C h a r l e s Hays Secondary S c h o o l i n P r i n c e Rupert w h i c h o u t l i n e d t h e n a t u r e of the s t u d y (See Appendix A ) . The c o - r e s e a r c h e r , Ray, (pseudonym) was s e l e c t e d from s e v e r a l i n t e r e s t e d s t u d e n t s as f u l f i l l i n g t h e s e l e c t i o n c r i t e r i a of a t y p i c a l case v i a t h e means o u t l i n e d above. Ray was i n f o r m e d as t o t h e n a t u r e of t h e s t u d y . I t o l d him t h a t I was i n t e r e s t e d i n l e a r n i n g about h i s peer i n t e r a c t i o n s t hroughout h i s s c h o o l c a r e e r and more s p e c i f i c a l l y , i n how he e x p e r i e n c e d d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h peer i n t e r a c t i o n s . The word " d i f f i c u l t i e s " was i n i t i a l l y used i n p l a c e of " r e j e c t i o n " due t o t h e p a r t i c u l a r l y n e g a t i v e c o n n o t a t i o n s of t h e l a t t e r term f o r Ray. Ray agreed t o commit h i m s e l f t o t h i s p r o j e c t . THE RESEARCHER The case s t u d y i n v e s t i g a t o r i s p r i m a r i l y an i n t e r v i e w e r . Y i n (1989) o u t l i n e s the b a s i c s k i l l s r e q u i r e d o f t h e e f f e c t i v e case s t u d y i n v e s t i g a t o r as i n c l u d i n g t h e a b i l i t y t o : - ask good q u e s t i o n s - and i n t e r p r e t the answers - be a good " l i s t e n e r " and not be t r a p p e d by h i s o r h e r own i d e o l o g i e s and p r e c o n c e p t i o n s - be a d a p t a b l e and f l e x i b l e - have a f i r m g r a s p of t h e i s s u e s b e i n g s t u d i e d 46 - be u n b i a s e d by p r e c o n c e i v e d n o t i o n s , i n c l u d i n g t h o s e d e r i v e d from t h e o r y . (pp.62-63), Furthermore, the r e s e a r c h e r must be c a p a b l e of d e v e l o p i n g and m a i n t a i n i n g an atmosphere o f warmth and t r u s t i n o r d e r t o a l l o w t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r t o f e e l a b l e t o d i s c l o s e t h e depth and b r e a d t h o f h i s e x p e r i e n c e w i t h freedom (Moustakas, 1990). The r e s e a r c h e r must be a b l e t o empathize o r " i m a g i n a t i v e l y p a r t i c i p a t e i n the e x p e r i e n c e of a n o t h e r " ( E i s n e r , p. 6, 1980) i n o r d e r t o i l l u m i n a t e t h a t w h i c h i s not o b s e r v a b l e . F i n a l l y , t h e r e s e a r c h e r must be a b l e t o o r i e n t t o the q u e s t i o n w i t h s i n c e r e i n t e r e s t . The r e s e a r c h e r must be a b l e t o i d e n t i f y and t h r o u g h w r i t i n g r e l a t e t h e essence and meaning of t h e e x p e r i e n c e so t h a t o t h e r s may u n d e r s t a n d i t "as a p o s s i b l e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f t h a t e x p e r i e n c e " (van Manen, p.41). COLLECTION OF MATERIAL M a t e r i a l was c o l l e c t e d i n a v a r i e t y of ways o v e r t h e c o u r s e of one s c h o o l y e a r . The f i r s t method of c o l l e c t i o n was v i a i n t e r v i e w . I t i s i m p o r t a n t t o use an i n t e r v i e w method t h a t ' w i l l l e a d t o r i c h and d e t a i l e d i n f o r m a t i o n r e g a r d i n g the phenomenon b e i n g s t u d i e d . . The r e s e a r c h e r must remain f i r m l y o r i e n t e d t o the r e s e a r c h q u e s t i o n , e n c o u r a g i n g t h e co-r e s e a r c h e r t o be c o n c r e t e and d e s c r i p t i v e about h i s e x p e r i e n c e (van Manen). T h e r e f o r e , a l t h o u g h a c o n v e r s a t i o n a l i n t e r v i e w s t y l e was u t i l i z e d , two s p e c i f i c methods were employed t o 47 f o c u s t h e i n t e r v i e w s . F i r s t , t h e i n t e r v i e w s l o o s e l y f o l l o w e d a c h r o n o l o g i c a l sequence t h r o u g h t h e p r e - s c h o o l t o h i g h s c h o o l y e a r s i n o r d e r t o o b t a i n a complete p i c t u r e o f Ray's l o n g - t e r m e x p e r i e n c e w i t h r e l a t i o n s h i p s . I n p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l r e s e a r c h , t h e h i s t o r i c and the p e r s o n a l a r e e s s e n t i a l ( G i o r g i , 1975). Second, each i n t e r v i e w was f i r m l y f o c u s e d upon r e l a t i o n s w i t h o t h e r s and t h e p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e s of r e j e c t i o n of t h e cb-r e s e a r c h e r . Q u e s t i o n s d e s i g n e d t o f o c u s on. c o n c r e t e and r i c h d e s c r i p t i o n were posed, such as: Can you g i v e an example of t h a t ? How d i d you f e e l about t h a t ? What do you remember about...? What were t h e y s a y i n g about you? What d i d t h e y do t o you? What makes you d i f f e r e n t ? Can you remember when...? Can you g i v e an example of t h a t ? At t i m e s q u e s t i o n i n g gave way t o empathic response, a p a r a p h r a s e of t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r ' s words, o r even s i l e n c e as was deemed a p p r o p r i a t e . The c o - r e s e a r c h e r was i n t e r v i e w e d and t a p e d t w e l v e t i m e s o v e r a p e r i o d of f o u r months. I n t e r v i e w tapes were t r a n s c r i b e d a f t e r each i n t e r v i e w and i d e n t i f y i n g i n f o r m a t i o n d e l e t e d . These t r a n s c r i p t i o n s were r e a d by Ray p r i o r t o t h e next i n t e r v i e w t o check f o r a c c u r a c y of t r a n s c r i p t i o n , and 48 more i m p o r t a n t l y , t o check t h a t h i s e x p e r i e n c e had been i l l u s t r a t e d t o h i s s a t i s f a c t i o n . The i n t e r v i e w s t h e r e f o r e p r o v i d e d b o t h a means of c o l l e c t i n g m a t e r i a l r e l a t i n g t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n , as w e l l as a means t o c o n s i d e r w i t h the c o - r e s e a r c h e r the m a t e r i a l g a t h e r e d p r e v i o u s l y (van Manen). I n f o r m a l , untaped meetings o c c u r r e d s p o r a d i c a l l y t h roughout the s c h o o l y e a r . The c o - r e s e a r c h e r ' s mother was i n t e r v i e w e d and tap e d once. Furthermore, as i s o f t e n t r u e o f c o - r e s e a r c h e r s i n t h i s k i n d o f r e s e a r c h , (van Manen), Ray became i n v o l v e d i n a v e r y p e r s o n a l way w i t h t h e s t u d y and v o l u n t e e r e d t o s u p p l y p o e t r y he had w r i t t e n throughout t h e y e a r t o f u r t h e r i l l u m i n a t e h i s e x p e r i e n c e . Ray and I a l s o r e a d t h r o u g h h i s c u m u l a t i v e s c h o o l f i l e t o g e t h e r over t h e c o u r s e of s e v e r a l weeks. As van Manen reminds us, once e x p e r i e n c e s have been remembered, taped, t r a n s c r i b e d , o r r e f l e c t e d upon, t h e y becomes t r a n s f o r m e d and a r e no l o n g e r t h e same as l i v e d e x p e r i e n c e . However, i n my c a p a c i t y as s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r , I sometimes had t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o be w i t h Ray when he was i n the m i d s t of d i f f i c u l t e m o t i o n a l e p i s o d e s , w h i c h t o some s m a l l degree p l a c e d me somewhat c l o s e r t o t h e c e n t r e of h i s l i v e d e x p e r i e n c e . W h i l s t t h e s e meetings were not taped, t h e y p r o v i d e d a n e c d o t a l m a t e r i a l t h a t reminded me " t h a t p a r t s of the ' t e x t ' o f d a i l y l i v i n g a r e s i g n i f i c a n t f o r one's s t u d y while i t i s happening" (van Manen, p. 69). Furt h e r m o r e , t h e s e 49 meetings reminded me most c o g e n t l y o f my purpose i n p u r s u i n g t h i s s t u d y . F i n a l l y , Ray was p r o v i d e d w i t h d r a f t c o p i e s o f t h i s document throughout t h e w r i t i n g p r o c e s s , u l t i m a t e l y g i v i n g h i s a p p r o v a l o f t h e m a t e r i a l and i n f o r m a t i o n c o n t a i n e d w i t h i n i t . ANALYSIS Through d i s c o v e r i n g t h e m a t i c a s p e c t s o f the phenomenon b e i n g examined, an exemplary d e s c r i p t i o n may be c r e a t e d . D e s c r i p t i o n has been c h a r a c t e r i z e d as "the use of language t o a r t i c u l a t e t h e o b j e c t s o f e x p e r i e n c e " ( G i o r g i , 1986, p.4) and t h i s p r o v i d e s t h e fundamental r a t i o n a l e f o r t h i s k i n d of a n a l y s i s . Van Manen s u g g e s t s t h r e e methods o f s e p a r a t i n g themes from the t e x t : 1. The h o l i s t i c approach where, upon e x a m i n a t i o n of t h e t e x t as a whole, t h e fundamental meaning may be e x p r e s s e d as a s i n g l e p h r a s e . 2. The s e l e c t i v e approach where c e r t a i n p a r t i c u l a r l y r e v e a l i n g s e c t i o n s a r e i d e n t i f i e d and marked. 3. The d e t a i l e d r e a d i n g approach where each . sente n c e o r sentence c l u s t e r i s c o n s i d e r e d i n l i g h t of t h e c e n t r a l q u e s t i o n : What does t h i s s e ntence o r c l u s t e r r e v e a l about the phenomenon o r e x p e r i e n c e b e i n g d e s c r i b e d ? 50 Each of these methods was employed i n the a n a l y s i s of the m a t e r i a l provided by the co-researcher. In the h o l i s t i c approach, a d e s c r i p t i o n of a s i n g l e anecdote or i n c i d e n t was used as a complete t e x t . However, some c o n s i d e r a t i o n of the i n t e r v i e w s as a whole was taken and general themes developed from them. Anecdotes or i n c i d e n t s were described by Ray and subsequently analysed i n t o a s i n g l e , meaningful phrase. For the s e l e c t i v e approach, r e v e a l i n g s e c t i o n s of the te x t were h i g h l i g h t e d and thematic phrases developed around them. For the d e t a i l e d reading approach, sentences were w r i t t e n on index cards and grouped i n t o r e l a t e d c l u s t e r s . I then t r i e d to d i s c e r n what each sentence or c l u s t e r revealed about the experience of r e j e c t i o n . The same three methods were used i n order to analyse Ray's poetry as w e l l as the anecdotal experiences I encountered w i t h him. Themes were determined to be e s s e n t i a l or n o n - e s s e n t i a l to a d e s c r i p t i o n of the experience of r e j e c t i o n based on "free imagination v a r i a t i o n " where the phenomenon was imagined without the theme being a c h a r a c t e r i s t i c part of i t . I f the phenomenon's e s s e n t i a l meaning was i n t a c t without the theme, then the theme was deemed no n - e s s e n t i a l (van Manen). The co-researcher was asked to examine the themes and comment upon t h e i r a p p l i c a b i l i t y to h i s s i t u a t i o n and experience. F i n a l l y a phenomenological d e s c r i p t i o n of the experience of r e j e c t i o n was developed. Phenomenological d e s c r i p t i o n has 51 been termed "an example composed of examples" (van Manen, p. 122) and s h o u l d a l l o w the r e a d e r t o see t h e meaning and s i g n i f i c a n c e o f the e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n as i t i s l i v e d . The next c h a p t e r w i l l o u t l i n e the themes g l e a n e d from t h e m a t e r i a l and c u l m i n a t e i n a p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . ASSUMPTIONS I t has been su g g e s t e d t h a t t h e r e s e a r c h e r ' s p r i o r knowledge of a phenomenon may p r e j u d i c e h i s o r h e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f i t . The r e s e a r c h e r may l e a n towards an i n t e r p r e t a t i o n of the phenomenon b e f o r e r e a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g can b e g i n (van Manen). T h e r e f o r e , i t i s n e c e s s a r y i n p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l r e s e a r c h t o make my assumptions r e g a r d i n g the phenomenon c l e a r a t t h e o u t s e t i n o r d e r t o b e g i n w i t h a degree of r i g o u r ( G i o r g i , 1975). I e n t e r i n t o t h i s s t u d y w i t h f o u r fundamental b e l i e f s about r e j e c t i o n f o r an a d o l e s c e n t . F i r s t , l o n g term r e j e c t i o n by p e e r s i s a h i g h l y u n p l e a s a n t e x p e r i e n c e t h a t causes s i g n i f i c a n t harm t o t h e a d o l e s c e n t ' s sense of s e l f and t o h i s o r h e r d a i l y f u n c t i o n i n g . Second, th e r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t , i n a f u t i l e attempt t o p r o t e c t and s u s t a i n the s e l f , engages i n responses t h a t tend-t o p e r p e t u a t e t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n i n a c y c l i c manner. These responses may i n c l u d e a g g r e s s i v e o r w i t h d r a w i n g b e h a v i o u r s , o r b o t h . 52 T h i r d , a f t e r a p e r i o d o f c o n t i n u e d r e j e c t i o n , t h e e x p e r i e n c e becomes so t r a u m a t i c t h a t t h e a d o l e s c e n t may r e t r e a t i n t o e i t h e r f u l l o r p a r t i a l d e n i a l , thus n u l l i f y i n g o p p o r t u n i t y f o r change. My f o u r t h b e l i e f concerns the b e s t approach t o i n t e r v e n t i o n w i t h a r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t and a l s o g u i d e s my c h o i c e of method. I b e l i e v e t h a t by e n c o u r a g i n g the co-r e s e a r c h e r t o t e l l h i s s t o r y t o an empathic and t r u s t w o r t h y p e r s o n , t h e c o - r e s e a r c h e r ' s s e l f becomes v a l i d a t e d and thus t h e need t o deny i s reduced o r e l i m i n a t e d a l l t o g e t h e r . T h e r e f o r e , t h r o u g h a s e r i e s o f a p p r o p r i a t e l y conducted i n t e r v i e w s , the c o - r e s e a r c h e r may be c l o s e r t o an u n d e r s t a n d i n g of s e l f t h a t w i l l break t h e c y c l e of r e j e c t i o n . The b e l i e f t h a t r e s e a r c h may a l s o be t h e r a p e u t i c i s a l s o advanced by C o l a i z z i (1978), who sees human r e s e a r c h as a form of e x i s t e n t i a l t h e r a p y . F i n a l l y , I must p l a c e t h e s e assumptions i n abeyance i n o r d e r t o observe and i n t e r p r e t Ray's l i v e d e x p e r i e n c e as i t i s r a t h e r t h a n as I may expect t o see i t (Aanstoos, 1986; G i o r g i , 1986) . 53 CHAPTER IV THE EXPERIENCE OF REJECTION RAY'S STORY Some people try to understand what is not supposed to be understood. Some people try to understand me and that is one thing that i s not Possible to do. I myself Do not understand What I am a l l about. Ray More th a n one hundred pages of t r a n s c r i b e d m a t e r i a l r e v e a l e d f i f t y - s e v e n anecdotes o r i n c i d e n t s as r e l a t e d by Ray t h a t were t h e m a t i c a l l y c o n n e c t e d t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . I n t h e f i n a l i n t e r v i e w , Ray p r o v i d e d an extended metaphor t o d e s c r i b e h i s e x p e r i e n c e as w e l l as some o f h i s p o e t r y , w h ich, i n i t a l i c s , p r e f a c e s each s e c t i o n . Each anecdote o r i n c i d e n t was examined i n t h r e e ways: h o l i s t i c a l l y , s e l e c t i v e l y , and t h r o u g h d e t a i l e d r e a d i n g as o u t l i n e d i n t h e p r e v i o u s c h a p t e r . Anecdotes and i n c i d e n t s were e i t h e r h i s t o r i c a l , o r c u r r e n t a t the time o f t h e i n t e r v i e w s , but o f t e n t h e t e m p o r a l frame was b l u r r e d . P r e s e n t - d a y events were i n e x t r i c a b l y bound t o p r e v i o u s o c c u r r e n c e s i n Ray's l i f e . v Four g e n e r a l t o p i c s were d e v e l o p e d t o frame the m a t e r i a l and from each, themes emerged. D i s c u s s i o n of t h e themes a r e h i g h l i g h t e d by examples from t h e i n t e r v i e w s . F i n a l l y , Ray's 54 metaphor i s r e p r i n t e d i n f u l l . I n t e r v i e w e r comments a r e i t a l i c i z e d . 1. EXPECTATIONS I understand, that I am expected to do many things, but the things expected to be done w i l l not most cases Ray . The e x t e r n a l l y imposed norms w h i c h t e n d t o govern our s o c i a l b e h a v i o u r i n v o l v e c o m p l i c a t e d p r a c t i c e s . There a r e consequences f o r a d h e r i n g t o o r b r e a k i n g the r u l e s . W h i l e most c h i l d r e n seem t o u n d e r s t a n d t h e s e norms by p r e - s c h o o l , Ray o f t e n seemed b a f f l e d by t h e e x p e c t a t i o n s a d u l t s h e l d r e g a r d i n g h i s b e h a v i o u r . He b e l i e v e d t h a t c h i l d r e n s u b s c r i b e d t o a d i f f e r e n t code o f b e h a v i o u r than a d u l t s and was g e n e r a l l y u n a b l e t o i n t e g r a t e t h e two codes s u c c e s s f u l l y d u r i n g h i s s c h o o l c a r e e r . P r e - S c h o o l ? I remember t h a t ( t e a c h e r s ) always used t o get us t a l k i n g and k i n d o f t a l k t o p e o p l e you d i d n ' t l i k e t o o much i n c l a s s . They t r i e d t o get you t o be f r i e n d s w i t h the p e o p l e you d i d n ' t l i k e . 'Cause she (the t e a c h e r ) s a i d t h e y d i d n ' t l i k e t h e a r g u i n g and t h e f i g h t i n g between a l l t h e k i d s , and t h e p u l l i n g of h a i r and t h e b i t i n g . And i f you d i d n ' t get a l o n g , t h e n you, you had t o s i t i n the c o r n e r o r something l i k e t h a t ... I don't know - i t ' s c o n f u s e d - i t j u s t - k i n d of g e t s you t o 55 t a l k t o them (the o t h e r c h i l d r e n ) . I t happened l i k e once t h a t I had t o s i t i n the c o r n e r t h e r e ( i n p r e - s c h o o l ) . And t h a t was because he (an u n i d e n t i f i e d peer) k i n d of b i t me and I got mad and I threw sand i n h i s f a c e . I don't know. They j u s t t o l d us t o l i n e up, we l i n e d up, p e o p l e s t a r t e d p u s h i n g and s h o v i n g . I t j u s t seemed n a t u r a l . Even i n h i s e a r l i e s t p e e r i n t e r a c t i o n s , Ray was c o n f u s e d by t h e norms. I n h i s memory, he was t h e v i c t i m and y e t he would be the one p u n i s h e d . Ray u n d e r s t o o d t h a t i t was i m p o r t a n t t o t h e a d u l t s t h a t t h e c h i l d r e n get a l o n g and not f i g h t . He u n d e r s t o o d t h a t a d u l t s would p u n i s h him i f he d i d get i n t o a l t e r c a t i o n s , but seemed u n a b l e t o a v o i d them. Furthermore, he was not c e r t a i n o f t h e l o g i c ; why would "they" want him t o be f r i e n d s w i t h p e o p l e he d i d n ' t l i k e ? Why c o u l d n ' t t h e a d u l t s see him as t h e v i c t i m o f o t h e r s r a t h e r t h a n th e p e r p e t r a t o r ? I t seems then, t h a t an i m p o r t a n t a s p e c t of t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n i s c o g n i t i v e c o n f u s i o n . Ray's c o n f u s i o n extended t o h i s e m o t i o n a l s t a t e . I t was o f t e n d i f f i c u l t f o r him t o r e c o g n i z e j u s t what i t was he was f e e l i n g i n a c r i s i s . But, I , you, I don't, you don't r e a l l y know how t o f e e l when, r i g h t when y o u ' r e t h a t young, you don't r e a l l y remember. You can f e e l c o n f u s e d t r y i n g t o know whether 56 t o be happy, sad, angry. Ray had d i f f i c u l t y o r i e n t i n g h i m s e l f t o o t h e r s , b o t h c o g n i t i v e l y and e m o t i o n a l l y . The r u l e s g o v e r n i n g the i n t e r p e r s o n a l w o r l d were c o m p l i c a t e d and t h e r e s u l t s of h i s a t t e m p t s t o e n t e r i n t o i t were u n p r e d i c t a b l e . H i s c o n f u s i o n and subsequent f a i l u r e t o adhere t o t h e r u l e s o f t e n r e s u l t e d i n h i s e x c l u s i o n from the group. Ray remembers b e i n g sent t o s i t i n t h e c o r n e r one o t h e r time i n P r e - s c h o o l . You had t o t h i n k , the t e a c h e r t o l d you t o t h i n k about i t . I'm, I don't know, my Mom s a i d she got a phone c a l l s a y i n g I was an embarrassment i n c l a s s , I embarrassed everybody i n the c l a s s . L i k e I d i d n ' t even know what "embarrassed," I d i d n ' t know what "embarrassing" was when - how can I s t o p b e i n g e m b a r r a s s i n g when I don't know what i t i s ? Ray's c o n f u s i o n i s an a l i e n a t i n g e x p e r i e n c e . He i s t o l d by the t e a c h e r t o " t h i n k about i t , " but he u n d e r s t a n d s n e i t h e r how he t r a n s g r e s s e d , nor h i s t e a c h e r ' s t e r m i n o l o g y . He i s p h y s i c a l l y i s o l a t e d from the o t h e r c h i l d r e n as a punishment, i s c o g n i t i v e l y i s o l a t e d t h r o u g h h i s l a c k o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g , and e m o t i o n a l l y i s o l a t e d t h r o u g h t h e l a c k o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g of o t h e r s . As he u n c o n s c i o u s l y moves i n t o the p r e s e n t t e n s e a t t h e end of t h e p r e v i o u s anecdote, t h e r e i s a s u g g e s t i o n t h a t 57 the c o n f u s i o n ' a n d i s o l a t i o n i s c u r r e n t as w e l l as h i s t o r i c . E m o t i o n a l and c o g n i t i v e i s o l a t i o n from o t h e r s , t h e r e f o r e , i s a n o t h e r element of t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . E n f o r c e d p h y s i c a l i s o l a t i o n from t h e "normal" environment l e n d s a dim e n s i o n o f r e t r i b u t i o n and e x c l u s i o n t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e , l e a v i n g Ray c o n f u s e d and, as he grows o l d e r , angry. I n Ray's memory, the " p u l l i n g of h a i r and t h e b i t i n g " r e p r e s e n t t h e normal b e h a v i o u r s of c h i l d r e n . A d u l t r esponses t o such b e h a v i o u r s a r e l e s s c o m p r e h e n s i b l e t o him. Ray's s c h o o l memories a r e l i t t e r e d w i t h r e f e r e n c e s t o b i t i n g , s t a b b i n g , h i t t i n g , k i c k i n g , and o t h e r p h y s i c a l harm committed by him and by o t h e r s on him. W e l l , t h a t one time I , I got suspended f o r D.D.T'ing someone on cement s t e p s . My Dad s a i d he d e s e r v e d i t because he'd seen what he'd been d o i n g t o me f o r a l o n g t i m e . A D.D... ? A D.D.T. You put h i s head i n her e ( g e s t u r e s ) and drop i t back. I D.D.T'ed him onto cement s t e p s . I t ' s a w r e s t l i n g - l i k e W.W.F-. You D.D.T'ed somebody... Because I got p i s s e d o f f w i t h him. W e l l , I k i n d o f got p i s s e d o f f w i t h him 'cause I d i d n ' t want t o , I c o u l d n ' t t a k e arty, I c o u l d n ' t t a k e any more of t h e s h i t he was p u t t i n g on me and e v e r y t h i n g l i k e t h a t . 58 Ray's e x p e r i e n c e shows t h e degree t o w h i c h r e j e c t i o n may be e x p e r i e n c e d f i n a l l y as u n t e n a b l e and may r e s u l t i n v i o l e n t a c t i o n a g a i n s t a n o t h e r . Ray su g g e s t s t h a t t h e r e i s a n a t u r a l l i m i t t o t o l e r a n c e , and r e t a l i a t i o n i s j u s t i f i a b l e . To be r e j e c t e d , t h e r e f o r e , i s t o e x p e r i e n c e extreme i n t e r n a l t e n s i o n between one's need t o conform t o s o c i a l norms and one's mounting f r u s t r a t i o n and anger. The f e e l i n g and e x p r e s s i o n of anger must be seen as an e s s e n t i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c o f the e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n . 2. BELIEFS I can't help myself The Day of Death w i l l come I w i l l judge the whole world People w i l l Live and People w i l l Die not everybody w i l l stay a l i v e Ray Ray a t t e m p t e d t o make sense of h i s w o r l d t h r o u g h a sometimes c o n v o l u t e d and c o n t r a d i c t o r y l o g i c . H i s i n t e r n a l b e l i e f system was c h a l l e n g e d d a i l y by t h e w o r l d v i e w o f o t h e r s , t o t h e p o i n t where he engaged i n m a g i c a l o r f a n t a s y t h i n k i n g a t some times and. r i g i d , i n f l e x i b l e r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n a t o t h e r s . " W e l l , most of t h e p e o p l e I a c t u a l l y t a l k e d t o were a l l g i r l s . [ I t was easier to hang around g i r l s ? ] Yeah, w e l l i t i s r e a l l y , because they don't l i e as much as guys do and they don't get u p s e t . " 59 A c c o r d i n g t o Ray, g i r l s a r e , as a c l a s s , more t r u t h f u l t h a n boys, and as t h e f o l l o w i n g anecdote r e v e a l s , s t u d e n t s a t one s c h o o l more prone t o a n t a g o n i s t i c and b u l l y i n g b e h a v i o u r t h a n t h o s e a t a n o t h e r . As Ray t r i e d t o make sense o f t h e f a c t t h a t he was a t a r g e t of h i s p e e r s , he o f f e r e d up numerous reasons f o r t h e i r o b v i o u s d i s l i k e of him. I used t o get beat up a l o t a t w***** S c h o o l . . . . The k i d s a t were j u s t p e o p l e who p i c k e d on someone because t h e y were d i f f e r e n t . And you were d i f f e r e n t , you were the one. Yeah, I was one o f t h e p e o p l e . What made you d i f f e r e n t ? W e l l , what made me d i f f e r e n t a t t h a t p o i n t , was t h a t I ; d i d n ' t wear any c l o t h e s t h a t were i n s t y l e . I wore rugby p a n t s and t h i n g s l i k e t h a t and th e y thought t h a t was geeky s t u f f . " They d i d n ' t c a l l me a geek, but t h e y ' d c a l l me names, l i k e when I f i r s t got my g l a s s e s , p e o p l e used t o c a l l me F r a n k e n s t e i n and a l l t h a t s t u f f . I n v a r i a b l y , Ray saw h i s u n p o p u l a r i t y as a f u n c t i o n o f e x t e r n a l and u n c o n t r o l l a b l e f o r c e s . S e e i n g o n e s e l f as a v i c t i m seems an e s s e n t i a l component of t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n . The r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l may b e l i e v e , w i t h c o n s i d e r a b l e cause i n Ray's case,' t h a t any o b s e r v a b l e element of u niqueness o r i n d i v i d u a l i t y i s t h e b a s i s f o r harassment and v i c t i m i z a t i o n . The d e s i r e t o f i t i n and connect w i t h o t h e r s 60 may t h e r e f o r e g e n e r a t e a t t e m p t s a t becoming p a r t of t h e norm. However, g i v e n t h a t the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l may have l o n g s t a n d i n g d i f f i c u l t y i n i n t e r p r e t i n g and i n t e g r a t i n g s o c i a l norms, t h e e f f o r t s a r e l a r g e l y f u t i l e and may s i m p l y a m p l i f y d i f f e r e n c e s . I n d i v i d u a l i t y becomes an i n t e n s e l y i s o l a t i n g e x p e r i e n c e . I n grade t h r e e I changed my name f o r a w h i l e . I got my Mom t o go i n t o t h e s c h o o l and t e l l them t o c a l l me by my m i d d l e name because t h e k i d s were b o t h e r i n g me about my f i r s t name. Not t h a t I r e a l l y - my m i d d l e name's worse -but i t ' s k i n d of h a r d . They made fun of you? Yeah. I t got me k i n d of u p s e t . But f i n a l l y I went t o the p r i n c i p a l about i t and t h e p r i n c i p a l t a l k e d t o me and t o l d me about i t and s a i d "Don't worry anyways." And my Mom came i n t h e next y e a r and s a i d "We'd l i k e t o get him c a l l e d t h i s name i n s c h o o l . " So t h e y put t h a t name on the r o l l and by t h e time I got i n t o grade f o u r - o r i n the m i d d l e o f grade t h r e e - t h e t e a c h e r got t i r e d of c a l l i n g me t h a t so she c a l l e d me Ray because she knew who I was. So a t t h a t p o i n t I was - w i t h one guy who l i k e s s t a b b i n g p e o p l e w i t h p e n c i l s . And so, the n I went down t o t h e o f f i c e . I used t o work down i n t h e l i t t l e room where p e o p l e would come and s i g n out d i v i s i o n t o y s and t h i n g s l i k e t h a t . So we worked i n t h e r e and s i g n e d out -me and, uh, whoever e l s e was asked t o do i t . I was t h e r e by m y s e l f sometimes. Kids were picking on you? Yeah. They used t o p i c k on me a l o t down t h e r e . When the y were r e a l l y p i c k i n g on me, t h e r e was p e o p l e , l i k e I was w a l k i n g home and t h e y ' d come up - l i k e t h r e e o r f o u r o f them would come up and jump on me and s t a r t pounding on me and then get up and run away. ... My Mom and Dad used t o go up t o the s c h o o l and get mad and t a l k t o t h e P r i n c i p a l and a l l t h a t s t u f f . My p a r e n t s found out from my s i s t e r what was happening. How come you didn't t e l l your parents? Because I d i d n ' t t h i n k i t was r i g h t t o t e l l on somebody f o r something. 'Cause I d i d n ' t know why they d i d i t . You didn't understand. Yeah, I d i d n ' t u n d e r s t a n d . My name was d i f f e r e n t , t h a t ' s why they were b o t h e r i n g me about my name, 'cause my name was d i f f e r e n t . A l t h o u g h Ray says t h a t he d i d n ' t u n d e r s t a n d why he was t a r g e t e d , he s t i l l , somewhat b e l a t e d l y , r e t u r n s t o t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of h i s name b e i n g t h e problem. He a l s o shows an i n t e r n a l b e l i e f system t h a t r e c o g n i z e s t h a t t o " t e l l on somebody f o r something" i s wrong. Yet, i t may be seen t h a t he f a c e s i n t e r n a l c o n t r a d i c t i o n r e g a r d i n g t h i s b e l i e f , s i n c e he o f t e n sought th e a s s i s t a n c e of o t h e r s when b e i n g . v i c t i m i z e d . As Ray moved i n t o a d o l e s c e n c e , t h e d e v e l o p m e n t a l need t o 6.2 s e p a r a t e from h i s p a r e n t s and e x p l o r e more i n v o l v e d p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s caused him c o n s i d e r a b l e d i f f i c u l t y . He found i t h a r d t o communicate h i s needs w i t h anyone. I'm wondering, i s it hard to t a l k about your feelings? W e l l , p r o b a b l y . W e l l , most males don't l i k e t e l l i n g someone when t h e y f e e l e m o t i o n a l o r something l i k e t h a t . They don't l i k e t o say i t . Who could you t e l l , who could share in that with you? I don't know.... When grade t e n came a l o n g , when I s a i d something, i t was everything. [ I t a l i c s added] I l i k e , nobody u n d e r s t o o d what I was s a y i n g . K i n d of l i k e m i s m a t c h i n g p h r a s e s . Because you had to just l e t it out? Yeah. L i k e i f I was s a y i n g something, and I had two t h i n g s t o say, and one was "I'm angry" and t h e o t h e r one was "Don't p i s s me o f f , " o r something l i k e t h a t . And I d i d , k i n d o f l i k e , say them l i k e t h i s ( g e s t u r e s t o demonstrate mixed u p ) . Together, mixed up? Yeah, yeah. Did you ever go home and t e l l Mom and Dad? Never. She e x p e c t s me t o t e l l h e r e v e r y t h i n g , but I c a n ' t t e l l h e r a l o t o f t h i n g s . What would she say if you could t e l l her? Oh, she'd say ( a f f e c t s a n a g g i n g tone) "Did you i n s t i g a t e a n y t h i n g , d i d . y o u s t a r t i t ? " And a l l t h i s s t u f f , and 63 y o u ' r e j u s t . k i n d of "go on, a d i o s , 'bye." She didn't understand. No. She says she u n d e r s t a n d s my problems b e t t e r t h a n I do. How c o u l d she u n d e r s t a n d what i t was l i k e f o r me, b e i n g blamed and bugged and e v e r y t h i n g , and d o i n g something? Even i f you d i d n ' t do i t . I n e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l , Ray's mother had been a s o u r c e of s u p p o r t , but she c o u l d n e i t h e r u n d e r s t a n d nor t o l e r a t e h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p d i f f i c u l t i e s as he grew up. T h i s , c o u p l e d w i t h h i s own need t o s e p a r a t e from h e r l e f t him w i t h l i t t l e c o m f o r t . The r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t ' s e x p e r i e n c e of a l o n e n e s s may be e x a c e r b a t e d by t h e n a t u r a l d e v e l o p m e n t a l p a t h i f no p e e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e a v a i l a b l e t o f i l l i n t h e v o i d c r e a t e d by s e p a r a t i o n from p a r e n t s . Ray needed someone t o u n d e r s t a n d . B e i n g i s o l a t e d and m i s u n d e r s t o o d seem t o be p a r a d i g m a t i c f e a t u r e s of t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . 3. REACTIONS The power of the lonely and scared is much greater Than the Power of the man that l i f t s 200,000 lbs Ray Ray's e x p e r i e n c e o f harassment o f t e n r e s u l t e d i n h i s t a k i n g a v i o l e n t s t a n c e . He f e l t j u s t i f i e d i n r e a c t i n g , p a r t i c u l a r l y i f harassment f o l l o w e d a n o t h e r s t r e s s o r , even an u n r e l a t e d one. N e v e r t h e l e s s , he d i d not always a c t out h i s 64 v i o l e n t f a n t a s i e s , w h i c h u s u a l l y c e n t r e d on h i s almost m a g i c a l s u p e r i o r s t r e n g t h . Ray's mo r a l code, u n d e r s t a n d a b l y , s u g g e s t e d t h a t i t was wrong t o h a r a s s and v i c t i m i z e t h o s e who ar e weaker and he v e r y much l i k e d t o see h i m s e l f i n the p r o t e c t o r r o l e . Ray sometimes f e l t t h e need t o respond v i o l e n t l y t o what he saw as harassment of a n o t h e r . He saw h i m s e l f as t h e p r o t e c t o r o f a weaker i n d i v i d u a l . However, h i s responses seemed l a r g e l y out o f p r o p o r t i o n t o the p e r c e i v e d wrong, and tended t o f o c u s on h i s own f e e l i n g s of h u r t and anger. W e l l , t h i s weekend, our ( a c t i v i t y group) went t o (a n e i g h b o u r i n g community) f o r a S p o r t s weekend. Other (community groups) were t h e r e and a k i d from u * * * * * t r i e d , he was t r y i n g t o do something t o a g i r l from our group. And she i s l i k e a s i s t e r t o me, and I w o u l d n 1 t . . . ( t r a i l s o f f ) . When I found out he t r i e d t o do something t o h e r , I got r e a l l y mad and s t u f f . . . . I k i n d of went a f t e r him and i t took s i x k i d s and t h r e e a d u l t s t o h o l d me back from g o i n g a f t e r him and I was s t i l l p u s h i n g them a l l f o r w a r d . They had t o l o c k t h e guy i n the f u r n a c e room so t h a t I wouldn't h u r t him. I t ' s not. r i g h t f o r him t o go a f t e r t h e s m a l l , t h e younger k i d s . I j u s t don't t h i n k i t ' s r i g h t f o r him t o do t h i n g s l i k e t h a t t o p e o p l e l i k e t h a t j u s t because he wants t o get even w i t h somebody e l s e . He was t r y i n g t o get back a t us, our p e o p l e , f o r t e a s i n g him. We wanted t o h u r t him, 65 but we were h e l d back and s t u f f . Ray's e x p e r i e n c e o f t h i s event was so p o w e r f u l and a f f i r m i n g f o r him, t h a t he was v i s i b l y e x c i t e d days l a t e r . He en j o y e d t h e sense o f r i g h t e o u s n e s s i t a f f o r d e d him; t h e e x p e r i e n c e of b e i n g p o w e r f u l and j u s t i f i e d . He e x p e r i e n c e d p l e a s u r e a t t h e n o t i o n t h a t o t h e r s might see h i s b e h a v i o u r as worthy o f r e s p e c t . Furthermore, he saw h i s r e a c t i o n as a normal - a l b e i t u n c o n t r o l l a b l e - i n t e r n a l l y d r i v e n , p h y s i c a l r e s p onse. I chased him around town f o r about two hours and I was s t i l l moving. Someone got down t h e r e and p i c k e d him up i n a c a r about two seconds b e f o r e I got t o where he was and t h e n i f I'd g o t t e n t h e r e , I p r o b a b l y would have h u r t him r e a l bad. But th e n , I'm g l a d they got t h e r e b e f o r e I d i d . I d i d n ' t want t o have i t on my c o n s c i e n c e t h a t someone b e i n g i n t h e h o s p i t a l because o f me. I know I c o u l d have t a k e n him w i t h as much power as I had and as much s e c u r i t y I had i n my body, I would have t a k e n him. I got the a d u l t s a c t u a l l y u n d e r s t a n d i n g why I was l i k e t h i s way. I l e t them know why and I s a i d " I , I'm r e a l l y t r y i n g t o c o n t r o l my temper, but when he's a g g r a v a t i n g me l i k e t h a t i t ' s r e a l l y h a r d . I t ' s r e a l l y a n n oying and I can,'t h o l d i t back v e r y w e l l 'cause I'm not v e r y good a t h o l d i n g my temper i n . " When yo u ' r e pumped l i k e t h a t , t h e r e ' s no way anybody c o u l d do a n y t h i n g t o s t o p , t h e r e ' s 66 no way t o s t o p you. But t h i n g s l i k e t h a t get you r e a l l y u p s e t . D e s p i t e t h e v o l a t i l i t y o f the s i t u a t i o n , Ray's p r i m a r y c o n c e r n was t o have the a d u l t s u n d e r s t a n d h i s f e e l i n g s . He worked h a r d a t c o n f o r m i n g t o the r u l e s o f s o c i a l c o n t a c t as he u n d e r s t o o d them, even as he found h i m s e l f provoked i n t o a l a r g e r and more p o t e n t response than seemed w a r r a n t e d by t h e a c t u a l s i t u a t i o n i n w h i c h he found h i m s e l f . O b v i o u s l y , Ray's l e n g t h y h i s t o r y o f r e j e c t i o n and harassment by h i s p e e r s was a r e s o u r c e f o r h i s e x p l o s i v e a c t i o n s . When asked what was p r e v e n t i n g him from c a l m i n g down now, days a f t e r t h e i n c i d e n t -o c c u r r e d , Ray c i t e s , not the i n c i d e n t he has been r e c o u n t i n g , but a n o t h e r , u n r e l a t e d o c c u r r e n c e : E v e r y time F * * * * * (a s t u d e n t who f i g u r e s r e p e a t e d l y i n s t o r i e s o f harassment) w a l k s by me, he has t o push me i n t o t h e l o c k e r s , and the way I am a l r e a d y i s bad enough. But w i t h someone l i k e t h a t d o i n g t h i n g s t h a t way i s g o i n g t o get me pumped even more, wh i c h you c a n ' t s t o p y o u r s e l f from d o i n g t h i n g s l i k e t h a t . ... . I t h i n k he g e t s some k i n d o f k i c k out of d o i n g t h i s . But one t i m e , i f he c a t c h e s me i n a mood l i k e t h i s , I ' l l j u s t t u r n around, and he's g o i n g t o get s l u g g e d . I don't c a r e what anyone e l s e s a y s , I don't c a r e i f I get e x p e l l e d from s c h o o l . He's j u s t gonna ask f o r i t . 67 Ray e x p e r i e n c e s h i s temper i n v a r i o u s ways. I t i s a l i v i n g e n t i t y , w i t h i t ' s own h i s t o r y . T h i s temper's gone back, t h i s r e a l bad, bad temper's gone back t h r e e y e a r s . But s i n c e I've had a temper, i t ' s gone back maybe grade e i g h t , when I got a r e a l bad temper. Why? I don't know, I r e a l l y don't know. J u s t because p e o p l e were h a r a s s i n g me, b o t h e r i n g me, and a l s o p e o p l e l i k e , p e o p l e t h a t used t o t e l l me t h a t I s a i d t h i n g s about o t h e r p e o p l e , and s t u f f , and t h e y ' d s t o p h a n g i n g around w i t h me. Things l i k e t h a t i s t h e r e a s o n I got k i n d o f u p s e t . I n t h e m i d s t of t h i s anecdote, Ray r e v e a l s a c l u e t o h i s p r e d i c a m e n t . He has been ac c u s e d of s a y i n g t h i n g s about o t h e r p e o p l e , a c a r d i n a l s i n amongst t e e n s , and t h e r e i s a h i n t t h a t he may be t e l l i n g " t a l l s t o r i e s . " Yet Ray i m p l i e s t h a t t h i s i s f a l s e , and t h a t a g a i n he i s the v i c t i m o f t h e mean s p i r i t of o t h e r s . H i s anger i s a l s o a r e l e a s e of t e n s i o n f o r him and he sees i t as sometimes the o n l y method of s t o p p i n g h i s t o r m e n t o r s , but he a l s o r e c o g n i z e s t h a t t h e r e may be o t h e r , l e s s d e s i r a b l e consequences of g i v i n g f r e e r e i g n t o h i s rage. I t ' s k i n d o f l i k e , s c a r y , and I don't l i k e d o i n g i t , but I know i f I decked him, he'd p r o b a b l y s t o p . 'Cause a l o t of p e o p l e , a l o t of p e o p l e i n t h i s (high) s c h o o l know how 68 much power I've got i f I get mad. But i f I'm not mad, my power doesn't show. But when I get r e a l mad, my power j u s t goes w i l d . L i k e my body j u s t t a k e s o v e r f o r i t s e l f and I don't even know what I am d o i n g . I t ' s r e a l l y s c a r y f o r my s i s t e r s and my p a r e n t s . My p a r e n t s cannot put up w i t h . i t . They t r y s t a y i n g away from me o r s t a y i n g on my good s i d e . When I get i n t o a temper. The f a c t t h a t he views h i s temper as " s c a r y " may i n d i c a t e t h e degree t o w h i c h elements o f r e j e c t i o n , such as harassment, v i c t i m i z a t i o n , o r t e a s i n g , sometimes e l i c i t a grand response. A n o t h e r f e a t u r e p a r t i c u l a r t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n may be t h a t t h e response need not come w i t h t h e same degree o f i n t e n s i t y as t h a t t o w h i c h t h e r e j e c t i o n i s e x p e r i e n c e d . Pent-up anger and f r u s t r a t i o n t h a t b u i l d s o v er the c o u r s e o f m u l t i p l e i n d i g n i t i e s may r e s u l t i n an e x p l o s i o n of anger s e e m i n g l y u n r e l a t e d t o t h e t r i g g e r event. I t ' s j u s t the way t h e y (peers) always - I was t h e new p e r s o n a t t h e (elementary) s c h o o l and t h e y wanted somebody t o bug and a l l knew I had a temper and so t h e y kept on d o i n g i t . They would get a reaction from you. Yeah. I more o r l e s s p i c k e d up something and threw i t a t them. I p i c k e d up t h e desk and chucked i t a t one o f t h e guys. 69 Often Ray's response to harassment was to break the tension w i t h a great and u n f o r g e t t a b l e gesture that could not be ignored by anyone. Ray's peers would "set him up," tormenting and harassing him u n t i l they e l i c i t e d the d e s i r e d response. This must be seen as a dehumanizing experience. He becomes nothing more than a joke to them, and i n so becoming, i s s t r i p p e d of h i s d i g n i t y and s e l f - r e s p e c t . At other times, however, he might simply t r y to escape h i s tormentors. When you reacted (to harassing peers in Junior High School)... They would bother me more. And. I'd j u s t blow up. Well, then I would hide i n the hallways sometimes, i n the s t a i r w e l l s . I'd hide i n that l i t t l e book room that was downstairs. When asked to describe how he f e l t i n the mornings before going to school, he s a i d : You f e l t l i k e , ah., "I don't want to do t h i s , there's no way I'm going to do t h i s because i t ' s s t u p i d . " And "I don't f e e l l i k e being harassed today." You f e l t -I f e l t that i t was embarrassing, I didn't want to go. you were ashamed and embarrassed about i t . Yeah. Kind of l i k e your stomach turns. I f e l t u s e l e s s . Useless. The reason I f e l t useless was I wasn't in c l u d e d i n 70 a n y t h i n g . Ray i n d i c a t e s a degree of h o p e l e s s n e s s h e r e . He was made p h y s i c a l l y i l l a t t h e thought of f a c i n g h i s p e e r s and' was e x c l u d e d by them when not b e i n g more a c t i v e l y h a r a s s e d . I t was a h u m i l i a t i n g and e m b a r r a s s i n g e x p e r i e n c e . And he f e l t " u s e l e s s , " a term most a p t l y d e f i n e d i n the C o n c i s e O x f o r d D i c t i o n a r y (1964, p.1433) as meaning "out of h e a l t h o r s p i r i t s , u n f i t f o r a n y t h i n g . " He has become the d r o s s of the s o c i a l o r d e r . Ray b e l i e v e s t h a t he i s r e c o g n i z e d by o t h e r s as l a c k i n g any purpose o r m e r i t as a human b e i n g . B e i n g r e j e c t e d t h e r e f o r e , i s t o e x p e r i e n c e deep and a b i d i n g l o s s . One l o s e s one's sense of s i g n i f i c a n c e as an i n d i v i d u a l , one's s o c i a l and p e r s o n a l worth, and t h e i n h e r e n t v a l u e o f one's uniqueness i n t h e eyes of o t h e r s . When asked what a d v i c e he would g i v e someone i n h i s s i t u a t i o n , Ray r e p e a t s t h e a d v i c e he has r e c e i v e d from a d u l t s throughout h i s l i f e . L e t ' s see. Hmm. Try t o i g n o r e them ( h a r a s s i n g peers) and don't a g g r a v a t e o r encourage i t . So if someone was s i t t i n g here and said to you "these kids are a l l picking on me, they're pushing me... " W e l l , I don't, they s h o u l d n ' t , ah, r e a c t t o i t so much, and t h e y , the more r e a c t i o n s they g e t , the more i t ' s g o i n g t o be done. I f you s t o p r e a c t i n g , t h e y ' l l l e a v e you a l o n e . T h e y ' l l , t hey won't go down so easy, but they 71 w i l l , you w i l l be l e f t a l o n e a f t e r a p e r i o d of t i m e . This i s something you have found? Yeah. Yeah, don't g i v e them what t h e y want, t h e y want t o see. They want t o see a r e a c t i o n , t hey want t o see you r e a c t . And s e e i n g you make a f o o l o f y o u r s e l f . Ray r e c o g n i z e s t h a t h i s i s a h o s t i l e w o r l d where he i s c o n t i n u a l l y m i s u n d e r s t o o d by o t h e r s . Y e t , t h e a d v i c e p r o f f e r e d by t h o s e who do not e x p e r i e n c e t h e w o r l d i n t h e same way may r e s u l t i n h i s not b e i n g seen a t a l l . When one i s not seen a t a l l , i s o l a t i o n i s complete and "you w i l l be l e f t alone." [ I t a l i c s added] The e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n s u g g e s t s t h a t Ray has not been seen c l e a r l y by h i s p e e r s , o r has not been r e c o g n i z e d as h a v i n g l i k e a b l e q u a l i t i e s by o t h e r s . He knows t h a t he has been judged and deemed unworthy, and t h i s adds a n o t h e r d i m e n s i o n t o t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . The r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l may e x p e r i e n c e h i m s e l f as c o n t a m i n a t e d : so unworthy and u n l i k e a b l e t h a t he becomes u n t o u c h a b l e . B e i n g a c t i v e l y r e j e c t e d may a t times then, be p r e f e r r e d t o b e i n g c o m p l e t e l y unseen. 4 . SEEKING SOLACE Not everyone in t h i s cruel world f i t s the Description of the perfect person But they are who they are and they're being themself Ray 72 Ray o f t e n l o o k e d t o a d u l t s f o r a s s i s t a n c e w i t h h i s i n t e r p e r s o n a l d i f f i c u l t i e s . I n E l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l , Ray took t o l e a v i n g t h e c l a s s r o o m and f i n d i n g a s y m p a t h e t i c ear when s t u d e n t s made fun of him. I l e f t t h e c l a s s . I'd put my books i n my desk and then walk out of t h e room and i n t o t h e j a n i t o r ' s room. That was l i k e a safe place for you? The j a n i t o r t o l d me t o come i n t h e r e anytime I wanted t o . I'd t a l k t o him. But he d i e d when I was i n grade s i x . I d i d n ' t r e a l l y know h i s name, I j u s t knew him^as th e j a n i t o r . 'Cause I remember one t i m e , Mr. c***** ( p r i n c i p a l ) caught me g o i n g i n t o t h e room t h e r e and he asked me why I was g o i n g i n t h e r e and I s a i d "Because the j a n i t o r i s my f r i e n d . He t a l k s t o me and s t u f f . " He (the p r i n c i p a l ) s a i d "What does he t a l k t o you about?" "He t a l k s t o me about my problems." The j a n i t o r would, we would j u s t s i t t h e r e and t a l k about what was g o i n g on i n c l a s s and s t u f f . Here Ray e x h i b i t e d the v e r y human need t o connect w i t h a s y m p a t h e t i c i n d i v i d u a l . At o t h e r t i m e s , Ray asked h i s t e a c h e r s f o r h e l p . Other students would bug you? W e l l , t h e y ' d l i k e , t h e y ' d come up w i t h , t h e y ' d p i c k on me, throw s t u f f a t me i n c l a s s . I t ' s more o r l e s s how they, i t would happen t h e r e , but they would throw e r a s e r s , p e n c i l s , a l l t h a t k i n d o f s t u f f . 73 You'd be s i t t i n g there working and... Then something would come e i t h e r f l y i n g by me o r something would h i t me i n t h e head. And you would. . . Turn around and t e l l . t h e m t o s t o p t h r o w i n g t h i n g s a t me. And he'd say " I d i d n ' t do a n y t h i n g . " So I got the t e a c h e r t o t a l k t o them a whole bunch and he ( t e a c h e r ) t o l d me j u s t t o i g n o r e i t and t h e y ' l l s t o p . However, Ray's e x p e r i e n c e was such t h a t t h e harassment d i d not s t o p . He was un a b l e t o m e a n i n g f u l l y i n t e g r a t e t h e a d v i c e o f h i s p r o t e c t o r s w i t h h i s own a c t i o n s o r t h e a c t i o n s of h i s p e e r s . I t would appear t h a t b e i n g r e j e c t e d i n v o l v e s a d e s p e r a t e need t o c u l t i v a t e the i n v e s t e d a t t e n t i o n of a n o t h e r i n o r d e r t o r e c e i v e s o l a c e and p r o t e c t i o n , i n a d d i t i o n t o fundamental human c o n n e c t i o n . I t i s not c l e a r whether Ray r e c e i v e d e i t h e r of t h e s e so much as a d v i c e . N e v e r t h e l e s s , he e x p e r i e n c e d r e j e c t i o n d e e p l y and was i n s t a n t l y a b l e t o p r o v i d e an extended, metaphor f o r h i s e x p e r i e n c e when asked. RAY'S METAPHOR People i n g e n e r a l a r e on a r o a d t h a t has been broken. I t doesn't go nowhere, i t j u s t s t o p s . And the n I'm -everybody e l s e can get t o t h e end o f the road, but I'm 74 o f f by m y s e l f i n m i d - a i r . You can walk a c o u p l e o f i n c h e s t o i t , but you can ' t t o u c h . You can walk as f a r away from i t as you want. But yo u ' r e w a l k i n g on a i r and you c a n ' t r e a l l y communicate w i t h nobody. I f you r e a c h out, t h e y won't t a k e y o u r hand because t h e y ' r e a f r a i d o f you p u l l i n g them out i n s t e a d of them p u l l i n g you i n . But you just want to be pulled in? Yeah. They're s p e a k i n g but I can ' t t a l k . N o t h i n g comes out o f my mouth when I t r y t o say something. I t ' s almost l i k e I'm mute. I can ' t speak. Some of them a r e s h o u t i n g t h i n g s . They're c a l l i n g me down and s t u f f l i k e t h a t 'cause I'm d i f f e r e n t from them. And some o f them a r e l o o k i n g w i t h dumb l o o k s because t h e y don't know what's g o i n g on. And some a r e t h r o w i n g r o c k s . But th e y c a n ' t h i t you. The r o c k would go r i g h t t h r o u g h you. I t ' s s o r t of l i k e b e i n g d i s c o n n e c t e d from s o c i e t y . They ca n ' t h u r t me because I'm not p a r t of them. You have to be brave about i t . Yeah, you have t o be. But i t never stops being painful. No. I t ' s the same w i t h them. They ca n ' t s t e p o f f the ke r b . I ca n ' t get on, they can't get o f f . But a t l e a s t they, know s o m e t h i n g - i s h o l d i n g them i n p l a c e . But, l i k e you c a n ' t say the same, because you don't know what's h o l d i n g you t h e r e . You don't know anyone and they don't know you, but they s t i l l r e j e c t you because they can see 75 t h a t you a r e d i f f e r e n t , l i k e l e v i t a t i n g i n m i d - a i r . I t g e t s them t h i n k i n g t h a t i t ' s some k i n d of e v i l magic o r some k i n d o f f l u k e . I t ' s l i k e g r a v i t y i s p u l l i n g from each and e v e r y d i r e c t i o n . And i t ' s always t h i s way?; Yeah. W e l l , s i n c e I can f i r s t remember, yeah. But when you l o o k down, you can see o t h e r p e o p l e down t h e r e . Others? Yeah. And the n t h e y ' r e dead b o d i e s and I get t h e f e e l i n g t h ey were l i k e I am, but they c o u l d n ' t make c o n t a c t so they f a l l . I t ' s a r i s k f o r me. I t ' s l i k e t e l l i n g you t h a t you have t o make c o n t a c t w i t h s o c i e t y one day o r y o u ' l l l o s e e v e r y t h i n g . Y o u ' l l l o s e y o u r s e l f . You're more o r l e s s always t r y i n g t o make c o n t a c t w i t h s o c i e t y so you can get up on t h a t l e d g e . But t h e y won't l e t you up? Not y e t , they haven't, no. Not ' t i l t h i s p o i n t . Ray's extended metaphor forms a summary v e r s i o n o f h i s l i f e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n . I t su g g e s t s t h e h o p e l e s s n e s s and d e s p a i r he f e e l s a t h i s i n a b i l i t y t o connect m e a n i n g f u l l y w i t h o t h e r s . H i s b e i n g " o f f by m y s e l f i n m i d - a i r " and "b e i n g d i s c o n n e c t e d from s o c i e t y " i m p l i e s h i s p h y s i c a l and s o c i a l i s o l a t i o n and "you can ' t r e a l l y communicate w i t h nobody" sug g e s t s s e l f - a w a r e n e s s of b o t h h i s communication d i f f i c u l t i e s and h i s e m o t i o n a l i s o l a t i o n . That o t h e r s "won't t a k e y o u r 76 hand because t h e y ' r e a f r a i d of you p u l l i n g them out" r e v e a l s Ray's u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f the f e a r o f o t h e r s t h a t c o n n e c t i o n w i t h him may r e s u l t i n c o n t a m i n a t i o n ; t h a t he may " p u l l them out" of normal s o c i a l p o s i t i o n i n g i f they a l l o w c o n t a c t . The d i f f i c u l t y i n communicating, and o f b e i n g m i s u n d e r s t o o d and unseen i s e v i d e n t t h r o u g h Ray's muteness. That a "rock would go r i g h t t h r o u g h [him]," h i g h l i g h t s h i s uniqueness and s e p a r a t e n e s s . They " [ c a l l ] him down," v i c t i m i z i n g him and u n d e r s c o r i n g t h e l a c k of a c c e p t a n c e of h i s u n i q u e n e s s . H i s d e c l a r a t i o n "They c a n ' t h u r t me" i n d i c a t e s a k i n d o f nonchalance he wears l i k e a s h i e l d , y e t he knows t h a t he cannot a v o i d p a i n . Ray i n d i c a t e s h i s s t u c k n e s s ; "They can ' t s t e p o f f t h e k e r b . I c a n ' t get on, they c a n ' t get o f f " and complete e x i s t e n t i a l a l o n e n e s s ; "You don't know anyone and they don't know you." M a g i c a l and f a n t a s y t h i n k i n g i s a l s o r e p r e s e n t e d w i t h i n t h i s metaphor as Ray sees h i m s e l f " l i k e l e v i t a t i n g i n m i d - a i r . " F i n a l l y Ray d i s c l o s e s t h a t h i s most b a s i c need i s t o connect m e a n i n g f u l l y w i t h o t h e r s ; " I t ' s a r i s k f o r me. I t ' s l i k e t e l l i n g you t h a t you have t o make c o n t a c t w i t h s o c i e t y one day o r y o u ' l l l o s e e v e r y t h i n g . Y o u ' l l l o s e y o u r s e l f . " However, s o c i e t y has p u r p o s e f u l l y e x c l u d e d him by not l e t t i n g him up on t h a t l e d g e . The judgement t h a t he i s unworthy has been made and a c t e d upon, and he knows i t . Y e t , Ray a l s o knows t h a t he needs an harmonious r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h s o c i e t y r a t h e r t h a n one o f c o n f l i c t . The most fundamental need of 77 human b e i n g s , t h e r e f o r e , i s t h a t w h i c h i s most a t r i s k f o r t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l . But Ray s t i l l e x h i b i t s t h a t o t h e r , e l e m e n t a l a s p e c t o f the human c o n d i t i o n : hope. They haven't l e t him up "Not ' t i l t h i s p o i n t . " C h a p t e r F i v e w i l l b e g i n w i t h a p h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l d e s c r i p t i o n of t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n . I m p l i c a t i o n s and recommendations f o r s c h o o l s and c o u n s e l l i n g p r a c t i c e w i l l f o l l o w , and s u g g e s t i o n s f o r f u t u r e r e s e a r c h w i l l c o n c l u d e t h e c h a p t e r . CHAPTER V 78 CONCLUSION THE EXPERIENCE OF REJECTION Throughout h i s t o r y , t h e r e a r e few examples of l i t e r a t u r e o r h i s t o r i c a l w r i t i n g s t h a t examine t h e p l i g h t of the r e j e c t e d . Abundant a c c o u n t s o f t h e b r o a d e r , s o c i o - p o l i t i c a l r e a l m of o p p r e s s i o n and c o n f l i c t e x i s t , as do r e p o r t s o f i n t o l e r a n c e and p e r s e c u t i o n of i n d i v i d u a l s and groups due t o r a c i a l background, gender, o r r e l i g i o u s o r p o l i t i c a l b e l i e f . However t h e narrow and p e r s o n a l f o c u s on the i n d i v i d u a l who has been s e t upon, tormented, and b e l e a g u e r e d t h r o u g h o u t h i s e x i s t e n c e f o r o t h e r , l e s s e a s i l y i d e n t i f i e d r e a s o n s , i s r a r e l y e n c o u n t e r e d . One wonders why such a p o w e r f u l human e x p e r i e n c e has not been e x p l o r e d a t l e n g t h i n l i t e r a t u r e . I n a n o t a b l e e x c e p t i o n , Fyodor Dostoyevsky, when w r i t i n g about t h e proposed p l o t f o r h i s n o v e l The I d i o t ( 1 8 6 9 / 1 9 5 5 ) , s u g g e s t e d t h a t : "A man who has always been h u m i l i a t e d and i n s u l t e d u s u a l l y p o s s e s s e s i n f i n i t e g e n e r o s i t y and l o v e , but he (the i d i o t ) does not p o s s e s s them and, t h e r e f o r e , he commits a c t s of wickedness a g a i n s t , and revenges h i m s e l f on, t h o s e he would have l i k e d t o l o v e and f o r whom he 79 would g l a d l y have shed h i s b l o o d . ... He i s o b s e s s e d w i t h t h e d e s i r e t o do something h e r o i c so as t o d i s t i n g u i s h h i m s e l f and become h i g h e r t h a n everyone e l s e . (p.15)-There a r e p a r a l l e l s between Ray's e x p e r i e n c e and D o s t o y e v s k y 1 s c l a i m s . Ray c l e a r l y f e l t t h e need t o do "something h e r o i c " as e v i d e n c e d i n t h e p r e v i o u s c h a p t e r , where he t r i e d t o p u n i s h t h e young man who committed an o f f e n c e a g a i n s t a g i r l i n t h e group. Yet he i s n e i t h e r p o s s e s s e d o f " i n f i n i t e g e n e r o s i t y and l o v e " nor i s he e n t i r e l y w i c k e d and v e n g e f u l . R a t h e r he i s , as a r e most p e o p l e , g e n e r a l l y t r e a d i n g a l e s s extreme p a t h somewhere between the two. W h i l e Dostoyevsky n o t e s t h e e x t r e m i t i e s , the c o n t r a s t s of h i s l i t e r a r y v i e w t e n d t o m i r r o r a more s u b t l e r e a l i t y o f Ray's e x p e r i e n c e and b o t h suggest an axiom around w h i c h t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n may be f o c u s e d . The P r i n c e (the " I d i o t " o f t h e t i t l e i n D o s t o y e v s k y ' s work) r e c o g n i z e s t h a t : "For some r e a s o n everyone r e g a r d s me as an i d i o t , t o o . . . . But what s o r t of i d i o t am I now when I know m y s e l f t h a t p e o p l e t a k e me f o r an i d i o t ? As I come i n t o a room, I t h i n k : "They l o o k upon me as an i d i o t , but I am i n t e l l i g e n t f o r a l l t h a t and they don't seem t o r e a l i z e i t . " (pp. 102 -103). Both t h e P r i n c e and Ray r e c o g n i z e t h a t t o endure r e j e c t i o n i s 80 t o e n c o u n t e r tremendous p o l a r i t y , a k i n d of c o n s t a n t l y e x p e r i e n c e d i n n e r d i a l e c t i c between what one knows about o n e s e l f and what o t h e r s p e r c e i v e and a c t upon. N e i t h e r Ray nor t h e P r i n c e r e a l l y u n d e r s t a n d why they a r e r e j e c t e d ("For some r e a s o n . . . " says th e P r i n c e , v a g u e l y ) , but t h e y do n o t e t h a t t h e r e i s a c o n t r a d i c t i o n between what o t h e r s seem t o r espond t o v e r s u s what t h e y as i n d i v i d u a l s u n d e r s t a n d about t h e m s e l v e s . They a r e d e s t i n e d , i t seems, t o be m i s u n d e r s t o o d ; t h e i r m o t i v e s and b e h a v i o u r s m i s c o n s t r u e d and m i s i n t e r p r e t e d . The r e s u l t a n t sense of c o g n i t i v e and e m o t i o n a l d i s s o n a n c e means t h a t t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l may h a v e ' g r e a t d i f f i c u l t y i n p r o j e c t i n g a s t a b l e and c o n s i s t e n t sense of s e l f t o t h e o u t s i d e w o r l d . There i s such p o t e n t i a l f o r i n s t a b i l i t y o f o b s e r v a b l e c h a r a c t e r o r p e r s o n a l i t y t h a t i t i s l i t t l e wonder t h a t on o c c a s i o n , r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s behave e x p l o s i v e l y and u n p r e d i c t a b l y . The s u r p r i s i n g t h i n g i s t h a t we a r e s u r p r i s e d by the v i o l e n c e and havoc some l o n g - r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s wreak on s o c i e t y . I n essence, t h i s s h o u l d be r e c o g n i z e d as the most u n d e r s t a n d a b l e and a p p r o p r i a t e o f b e h a v i o u r s . I t c e r t a i n l y i n d i c a t e s a g r e a t e r degree of congruence a t a g i v e n moment tha n , f o r example, c o m p l i a n t b e h a v i o u r , where the i n d i v i d u a l may be s i m p l y masking o r d e n y i n g r e a l (and p r o b a b l y a p p r o p r i a t e ) f e e l i n g s o f o u t r a g e o r anger. I t i s the f i n a l g rand g e s t u r e , f u l f i l l i n g many needs: power and c o n t r o l o v e r o t h e r s , sense of j u s t i f i a b l e r e t r i b u t i o n , and re'lease o f l o n g -81 s t a n d i n g f r u s t r a t i o n , h u r t , and anger. For t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l , almost everyone i s p a r t of t h e c o n s p i r a c y t o e x c l u d e them. T h e r e f o r e , random v i o l e n c e i s not random a t a l l . A l l o f s o c i e t y makes up the o f f e n d i n g p a r t y . As Ray says i n h i s metaphor, " I t ' s s o r t of l i k e b e i n g d i s c o n n e c t e d from s o c i e t y . They ca n ' t h u r t me because I'm not p a r t o f them. " The d i s p a r i t y between Ray's u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h i m s e l f v e r s u s t h e u n d e r s t a n d i n g o t h e r s had o f him caused him t o e x p e r i e n c e i n t e n s e e m o t i o n a l and c o g n i t i v e t u r m o i l . D u r i n g one i n t e r v i e w , he s t a t e d , "You don't r e a l l y know how t o f e e l when, r i g h t when y o u ' r e t h a t young, you don't r e a l l y remember. You can f e e l c o n f u s e d t r y i n g t o know whether t o be happy, sad, angry." Ray had become c o n v i n c e d a t an e a r l y age t h a t he c o u l d not t r u s t h i s f e e l i n g s , t h e r e f o r e he o f t e n seemed t o be s e e k i n g t o have o t h e r s c o n f i r m h i s v a l i d i t y and w o r t h ; c o n f i r m a t i o n w h i c h was. r a r e l y f o r t h c o m i n g . The c o n s t a n t u n c e r t a i n t y as t o w h i c h f e e l i n g s were " c o r r e c t , " c o u p l e d w i t h c o n f u s i o n o v e r " t r y i n g t o know" u n d e r s c o r e s t h e p r e c a r i o u s n e s s o f Ray's c o n n e c t i o n w i t h o t h e r s . On t h e o t h e r hand, however, he f e l t c e r t a i n t y - even a sense of m o r a l o u t r a g e - r e g a r d i n g t h e wrongheadedness of h i s t o r m e n t o r s . I n h i s metaphor, he says "And some of them a r e l o o k i n g w i t h dumb l o o k s because they don't know what's g o i n g on" [ i t a l i c s added]. L i k e the P r i n c e , he knows t h a t o t h e r s do not see him f o r what he t r u l y i s and t h a t t h e e r r o r i s , i n 82 f a c t , t h e i r s . However, he r o u t i n e l y does not have a v o i c e i n the s o c i a l o r d e r whereby he may p r o t e s t , be heard, o r be seen f o r who he r e a l l y i s . The r e l a t e d n o t i o n o f b e i n g seen ( e i t h e r v i s u a l l y o r o t h e r w i s e ) r e t u r n s a g a i n and a g a i n i n Ray's s t o r y , and seems t o be c e n t r a l t o a l l s i g n i f i c a n t human i n t e r a c t i o n . Yet i t i s more t h a t s i m p l y b e i n g seen, t o o . I n essence, t h e need f o r r e c o g n i t i o n , t h a t i s : r e - c o g n i t i o n where one i s "know[n] a g a i n " and t h e r e i s "acknowledge[ment] of v a l i d i t y o r genuineness of c h a r a c t e r " ( C o n c i s e O x f o r d D i c t i o n a r y , 1964, p.1033), i s p r o f o u n d . I n t h e e a r l i e s t b o n d i n g p r o c e s s e s , mothers make eye c o n t a c t w i t h a baby whose optimum v i s u a l range i s t h e d i s t a n c e between t h e mother's b r e a s t and eyes. E a r l y c h i l d h o o d games o f "peek-a-boo" demonstrate t h e importance of s e e i n g and not s e e i n g . C h i l d r e n may become a n x i o u s and upset when the attachment f i g u r e l e a v e s t h e i r v i s u a l range. As t h e c h i l d ages, b e i n g seen, o r r e c o g n i z e d , by o t h e r s becomes c r i t i c a l l y i m p o r t a n t . By a d o l e s c e n c e , b e l o n g i n g t o ( b e i n g r e c o g n i z e d by) a peer group i s a c e n t r a l d e v e l o p m e n t a l t a s k and so, the a d o l e s c e n t who i s r e j e c t e d by o t h e r s r i s k s f a i l u r e i n t h i s and subsequent d e v e l o p m e n t a l i s s u e s . T h i s n o t i o n of b e i n g seen and r e c o g n i z e d i s c l e a r l y e s s e n t i a l t o b e i n g human. The r i s k of b e i n g r e j e c t e d i s , as Ray notes i n h i s metaphor, s i m p l y t h a t "You don't know anyone ( and t h e y don't know you..." To not be known o r " r e - c o g n i z e d " 83 a c c u r a t e l y by o t h e r s s u g g e s t s the g r e a t e s t of l o s s e s . Ray knows t h a t t o be unable t o make c o n t a c t w i t h o t h e r s i s t o " l o s e e v e r y t h i n g . Y o u ' l l l o s e y o u r s e l f . " Thus, one p o l e o f the e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n i s a deep and a b i d i n g sense o f l o s s . At the o p p o s i t e end, however, even as Ray's sense o f s e l f - w o r t h and d i g n i t y were under c o n s t a n t a t t a c k by h i s p e e r s , h i s f e e l i n g s of embarrassment and h u m i l i a t i o n a c t u a l l y i n d i c a t e a p o w e r f u l sense o f s e l f - a w a r e n e s s and s e l f -knowledge. H i s sense of mor a l o u t r a g e , b o t h a t t h e harassment he r e c e i v e s a t the hands o f o t h e r s and a t the p l i g h t o f o t h e r s i n s i m i l a r p r e d i c a m e n t s , i s v e r y r e a l and i n d i c a t e s t h a t , c o u n t e r t o what an o u t s i d e o b s e r v e r might e x p e c t , he has a s t r o n g sense o f s e l f - w o r t h . I t i s the o t h e r s who have m i s u n d e r s t o o d , and a r e i n e r r o r , not him. He c e r t a i n l y u n d e r s t a n d s the fundamental p r i n c i p l e s of r e l a t i o n s h i p s ; "the g o l d e n r u l e " i f you w i l l . Y e t , when he c o n f r o n t s a d u l t s t o a f f o r d him p r o t e c t i o n , t h e y i n v a r i a b l y (and c o n f u s i n g l y ) t e l l him t o " i g n o r e " t h e harassment. The word i g n o r e comes from t h e L a t i n ignorare meaning "not know," t h e same r o o t as f o r i g n o r a n t . I n essence Ray i s b e i n g a d v i s e d t o "not know," t o be i g n o r a n t , o f h i m s e l f and of t h e judgement and a c t i o n s of o t h e r s , and t o l i v e u n t r u t h f u l l y . Which, i n an o d d l y c o n t r a d i c t o r y manner, i f he s h o u l d t a k e such a d v i c e , reduces h i s s e l f - k n o w l e d g e and p e r s o n a l power. So, s t r i p p i n g the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l o f h i s 84 power t a k e s on a c o n s p i r a t o r i a l a s p e c t . H i s d i g n i t y , s e l f -w o r th, and v a l u e as a human b e i n g a r e t a k e n aim upon by h i s pe e r s and f o l l o w e d up by h i s a d u l t p r o t e c t o r s . I t i s not s u r p r i s i n g t hen, t h a t t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s h o u l d a t ti m e s f e e l c o m p l e t e l y i s o l a t e d , c o n f u s e d , and angry. Throughout i t a l l , Ray makes c o n t i n u e d a t t e m p t s t o connect. He i s not a q u i t t e r ; on t h e c o n t r a r y , he a t t e m p t s e n d l e s s l y t o j o i n w i t h o t h e r s and t o make sense o f h i s w o r l d . I n e f f e c t he at t e m p t s h e a l h i m s e l f by s e e k i n g t h e k i n d of n u r t u r i n g , a c c e p t i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s t h a t have been d e n i e d t o him throughout h i s l i f e . Each time he does r e a c h out t o o t h e r s , however, he r i s k s embarrassment, h u m i l i a t i o n , and a sense o f complete u n w o r t h i n e s s . H i s courage i s u n p a r a l l e l e d , but u n n o t i c e d . R e j e c t i o n speaks t o r e c o g n i t i o n of t h e n e g a t i v e r a t h e r than p o s i t i v e a s p e c t s of c h a r a c t e r and p e r s o n a l i t y . I n f a c t , r e j e c t i o n d e n i e s the p o s s i b i l i t y of p o s i t i v e c h a r a c t e r and p e r s o n a l i t y t r a i t s . Perhaps, i n t h e end, the r e a s o n few p e o p l e w r i t e about r e j e c t i o n i s s i m p l y because i t i s t o o p a i n f u l and t o o p o s s i b l e f o r us a l l . We have a l l f e l t r e j e c t i o n i n some s m a l l way. To be l a b e l l e d as a " r e j e c t " by our p e e r s , t o be e n d l e s s l y m i s u n d e r s t o o d , o r t o have weak and unhappy c o n n e c t i o n s w i t h o t h e r s may w e l l be our g r e a t e s t f e a r . And, f i n a l l y , perhaps we a r e w i l l i n g t o m a r g i n a l i z e o r i s o l a t e o t h e r s i n o r d e r t o c r e a t e a b u f f e r between o u r s e l v e s and t h a t g r e a t l o n e l i n e s s . 85 CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS The purpose of t h i s s t u d y was t o e x p l o r e and d e s c r i b e the e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n t h r o u g h t h e s t o r y o f one i n d i v i d u a l . The l i t e r a t u r e r e v i e w o u t l i n e d t h e p r e v i o u s f i n d i n g s and d i r e c t i o n s of s t u d y i n t h i s a r e a , as w e l l as s u g g e s t i n g t h e need f o r an e x a m i n a t i o n of t h e a c t u a l e x p e r i e n c e o f r e j e c t i o n . Ray's e x p e r i e n c e was sometimes c o n s i s t e n t w i t h p r e v i o u s r e s e a r c h f i n d i n g s , a t o t h e r t i m e s n o t . He was, f o r example, m i r e d i n c o g n i t i v e and e m o t i o n a l c o n f u s i o n as had been found i n t h e l o n e l i n e s s r e s e a r c h of M i j u s k o v i c (1986) and Brennan (1982), but as a young a d u l t , Ray has not en c o u n t e r e d s i g n i f i c a n t adjustment d i f f i c u l t i e s such as t h o s e n o t e d by S r o u f e and R u t t e r (1984) amongst many o t h e r s . The e s s e n t i a l d i f f e r e n c e between t h i s s t u d y and o t h e r s , however, was t h e f o c u s on a h i g h l y p e r s o n a l , i d i o s y n c r a t i c , and p a i n f u l e x i s t e n c e : i n f o r m a t i o n w h i c h i s o f t e n l o s t i n q u a n t i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h . The f o l l o w i n g c o n c l u s i o n s and recommendations must be r e a d i n l i g h t o f the f a c t t h a t they a r e based on comparing one pers o n ' s e x p e r i e n c e t o t h e body of r e s e a r c h t h a t c u r r e n t l y e x i s t s . They a r e a l s o f o c u s e d e n t i r e l y on the s c h o o l system. T h i s i s not meant t o i m p l y t h a t the s c h o o l system i s s o l e l y r e s p o n s i b l e f o r c r e a t i n g o r m a i n t a i n i n g t h e a t t i t u d e s and b e h a v i o u r s t h a t l e a d t o t h e r e j e c t i o n of i n d i v i d u a l s . Nor s h o u l d the r e a d e r i n f e r t h a t the system may, i n i s o l a t i o n , 86 c o u n t e r t h e p a i n of r e j e c t i o n f o r an i n d i v i d u a l o r e x t i n g u i s h t h e r e j e c t i n g b e h a v i o u r s a c t e d out by many p e o p l e . However, much of t h e e x p e r i e n c e of r e j e c t i o n i s e n c o u n t e r e d w i t h i n the s c h o o l s e t t i n g , and s c h o o l s a r e c a l l e d upon t o a r b i t r a t e , p r o t e c t , and educate th e v a r i o u s p l a y e r s i n such e n c o u n t e r s . F urthermore, s c h o o l s a r e p l a c e s of l e a r n i n g and development. Where b e t t e r t o educate everyone i n c r e a t i n g a more i n c l u s i v e and embracing w o r l d ? These recommendations a r e a l s o p r e d i c a t e d upon the b e l i e f t h a t a warm, p o s i t i v e , and a c c e p t i n g c l i m a t e w i l l r e s u l t i n reduced h o s t i l i t y and r e j e c t i n g b e h a v i o u r s i n t h e s c h o o l s e t t i n g . They a l s o suppose t h a t l a t e r warmth and a c c e p t a n c e may i n some way, a m e l i o r a t e the e f f e c t s of e a r l i e r r e j e c t i o n . Three l e v e l s of recommendation f o l l o w . F i r s t , major s c h o o l r e s t r u c t u r i n g i s p r oposed as so t o meet the needs of a l l s t u d e n t s . T h i s r e q u i r e s p o l i t i c a l w i l l , w i d e s p r e a d community and e d u c a t o r s u p p o r t , p l u s a common p h i l o s o p h i c a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g . T h i s i s , of c o u r s e , the most d i f f i c u l t and l e a s t l i k e l y recommendation t o be a c h i e v e d , but i t i s i n c l u d e d t o l e n d f u r t h e r w e i ght t o t h e i m p r e s s i v e body of e v i d e n c e i n t h i s a r e a . Second, s c h o o l a d j u s t m e n t s , c o n c e r n i n g p o l i c y , programs, and i n t e r n a l s t r u c t u r e s a r e a d d r e s s e d . T h i r d and f i n a l l y , i s s u e s s p e c i f i c t o p e r s o n n e l , such as s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r s , home room t e a c h e r s , o r a d v i s o r s a r e s u g g e s t e d . 87 1. MAJOR SCHOOL RESTRUCTURING W i t h i n t h e s c h o o l s e t t i n g , the c r e a t i o n of a p o s i t i v e s c h o o l c l i m a t e where i n d i v i d u a l d i f f e r e n c e s a r e r e s p e c t e d , where s t a f f model t h i s f o r s t u d e n t s , and o l d e r o r more a b l e s t u d e n t s model i t f o r younger, l e s s a b l e s t u d e n t s , must be a p r i o r i t y i f t h e needs'of a l l a r e t o be a d d r e s s e d . I suggest t h i s s h o u l d be thought o f as t h e c r e a t i o n and sustenance of a n u r t u r i n g c u l t u r e . T h i s r e q u i r e s t h e s e t t i n g up o f p o l i c i e s , programs, and s t r u c t u r e s w h i c h a l l o w f o r t h e a d o p t i o n and i m p l e m e n t a t i o n of t h e s e i d e a s . However, t h e r e a r e i d e o l o g i c a l and p h i l o s o p h i c a l b a r r i e r s , i n many s c h o o l s t h a t may t h w a r t a t t e m p t s t o c r e a t e a t r u l y i n c l u s i v e and n u r t u r i n g environment, not l e a s t of w h i c h i s a f o c u s on c o m p e t i t i o n o v e r c o o p e r a t i o n . Numerous r e p o r t s ( f o r example Turning Points: Preparing American Youth for the 21st Century, 1989) have su g g e s t e d t h a t w i t h i n s c h o o l s , s m a l l e r communities be de v e l o p e d , whereby a more n u r t u r i n g and c l o s e environment may be a c h i e v e d i n o r d e r t o f a c i l i t a t e s t u d e n t development and l e a r n i n g . However, t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s o f l a r g e - s c a l e e d u c a t i o n a l r e s t r u c t u r i n g and r e f o r m have been w e l l documented i n B r i t i s h Columbia o v e r t h e p a s t few y e a r s . I n t h i s P r o v i n c e , community unease a t what was f a l s e l y p e r c e i v e d as a " w a t e r i n g down" o f academic s t a n d a r d s c o u p l e d w i t h a l a c k of r e a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g of what s c h o o l r e f o r m might mean was j o i n e d by t h e m a c h i n a t i o n s of p o l i t i c a l e x p e diency, and so, many a p p r o p r i a t e reforms brought / ; 88 i n under t h e a u s p i c e s o f The Year 2000 program were l a r g e l y abandoned. G i v e n t h a t t h i s program drew upon l a r g e b o d i e s of r e s e a r c h , as w e l l as the work of master e d u c a t o r s i n the f i e l d , t h i s i s a g r e a t p i t y , and a s t e p back i n terms o f c r e a t i n g warm and n u r t u r i n g s c h o o l c l i m a t e s . Large s c a l e r e s t r u c t u r i n g would i n c l u d e a f o c u s on c o o p e r a t i o n o v e r c o m p e t i t i o n , a r e c o g n i t i o n o f the d i v e r s i t y o f t h e c l i e n t p o p u l a t i o n , and a n u r t u r i n g , c a r i n g , r e s p e c t f u l environment. Each of t h e s e elements, p r o p e r l y a d d r e s s e d would a s s i s t t h e ac c e p t a n c e o f f o r m e r l y r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t by t h e i r p e e r s . 2. SCHOOL PROGRAM ADJUSTMENTS V a r i o u s programs s t i l l e x i s t i n many s c h o o l s t o p r o v i d e t h e s t r u c t u r e by wh i c h some measure of warmth and a c c e p t a n c e may be a c h i e v e d . Peer T u t o r i n g programs where o l d e r s t u d e n t s work w i t h younger, s p e c i f i c a l l y m o d e l l i n g a c c e p t a n c e and warmth towards a l l s t u d e n t s c o u l d be h e l p f u l t o the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l . Peer m e n t o r i n g programs i n f i n e a r t s o r o t h e r a r e a s may s e r v e t o p r o v i d e one on one c o n n e c t i o n s between s t u d e n t s who have s i m i l a r i n t e r e s t s , but where one may be a r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l . A wide v a r i e t y of c l u b s might be e s t a b l i s h e d f o r s t u d e n t s who don't e a s i l y f i t i n t o the mainstream of s p o r t s o r o t h e r a c t i v i t i e s . Teacher a d v i s o r y groups o r homerooms where r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e the f o c u s r a t h e r than a d m i n i s t r a t i v e concerns would a l s o be b e n e f i c i a l i n 89 c r e a t i n g a sense of b e l o n g i n g and c o n n e c t i o n . T r a n s i t i o n a l programs s h o u l d be p r o v i d e d f o r s t u d e n t s e n t e r i n g h i g h s c h o o l , as w e l l as p r e p a r e d n e s s on t h e p a r t of t e a c h e r s , c o u n s e l l o r s , and a d m i n i s t r a t o r s f o r t h e i n c o m i n g s t u d e n t s . T h i s might i n c l u d e s i g n i f i c a n t p r i o r c o n n e c t i o n w i t h t h e e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l s r e g a r d i n g the s p e c i f i c needs of the i n c o m i n g s t u d e n t s , but a h e a l t h y awareness of t h e n e g a t i v e a s p e c t s of r e p u t a t i o n a l b i a s needs t o be m a i n t a i n e d . Courses and programs t h a t a r e a l r e a d y i n p l a c e i n s c h o o l s , such as C a r e e r and P e r s o n a l P l a n n i n g (CAPP) s h o u l d be u t i l i z e d i n o r d e r t o i n v e s t i g a t e t h e continuum of r e j e c t i o n t h a t a l l i n d i v i d u a l s f e e l a t some p o i n t . W i t h i n t h e s e c o u r s e s , t e a c h e r s must be equipped themselves t o model, d e v e l o p , and enhance empathy f o r o t h e r s . Development of a sense of community and a c c e p t a n c e t h e r e f o r e seems w i t h i n our r e a c h i n s c h o o l s , even i n t h i s c l i m a t e of u n c e r t a i n t y and f i s c a l r e s t r a i n t . 3. ISSUES RELATING TO PERSONNEL C o u n s e l l o r s o r o t h e r a d u l t s who a r e a v a i l a b l e and w i l l i n g t o l e t t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l f i n d h i s o r h e r v o i c e , thus d e v e l o p i n g r e c o g n i t i o n of h i s o r h e r s t r e n g t h s , w i t h o u t a d v i c e g i v i n g , may support t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l . The r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t needs a s a f e p l a c e t o come t o when h i s o r h e r f r u s t r a t i o n s become too g r e a t . Focus s h o u l d be p l a c e d f i r m l y upon th e needs of the i n d i v i d u a l t h a n t h e needs of the system, 90 so t h a t t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l i s not m a r g i n a l i z e d o r d e n i e d a c c e s s t o a p p r o p r i a t e a s s i s t a n c e because of p e t t y r u l e s o r p r o c e d u r e s . F o r example, many s c h o o l s a s s i g n c o u n s e l l o r s t o s t u d e n t s f o r a d m i n i s t r a t i v e reasons w i t h o u t a l l o w i n g s t u d e n t s t o make c h o i c e s i n whom they get t o see, and when. Many s c h o o l s a l s o r e q u i r e f o r m a l appointment b o o k i n g s . These g a t e k e e p i n g e x e r c i s e s may l e a v e t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l w i t h o u t a p o s i t i v e r e s o u r c e when he o r she most needs i t , perhaps l e a d i n g t o b e h a v i o u r a l e x p l o s i o n s o r i m p l o s i o n s t h a t c r e a t e a f a r more p r o b l e m a t i c s i t u a t i o n t h a n needs be. The r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l must know t h a t he o r she has an a l l y i n t h e b u i l d i n g whom, w i t h i n r e a s o n , may be seen when n e c e s s a r y . Other s t a f f need t o be educated on how t o de f u s e p o t e n t i a l l y t h r e a t e n i n g o r p r o b l e m a t i c s i t u a t i o n s c e n t r e d around t h e i n d i v i d u a l , w i t h o u t c o n t r i b u t i n g t o r e p u t a t i o n a l b i a s . C o u n s e l l o r s might a l s o c r e a t e s m a l l a c t i v i t y o r o t h e r groups whereby s t u d e n t s c o u l d d e v e l o p t r u s t i n g and warm r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h each o t h e r o ver t i m e . W i t h t h e fo c u s b e i n g on u n d e r s t a n d i n g and r e c o g n i t i o n , r a t h e r than c o m p e t i t i o n and e g o c e n t r i c i t y , i t i s p o s s i b l e t h a t such s m a l l group a c t i v i t i e s may b u i l d c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l , as w e l l as tho s e who may be d o i n g the r e j e c t i n g . W h i l e d i s c u s s i n g a s p e c t s o f t h i s paper w i t h Ray, he n o t e d t h a t he f e l t as though he u n d e r s t o o d h i m s e l f much b e t t e r t h r o u g h r e a d i n g about h i m s e l f . He sug g e s t e d t h a t t a l k i n g 91 about o n e s e l f i s good, but r e a d i n g about o n e s e l f i s a v e r y p o w e r f u l and i n f o r m i n g a c t i v i t y . T h i s would i n d i c a t e t h a t N a r r a t i v e Therapy may be an a p p r o p r i a t e avenue f o r r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l s t o t a k e . I a l s o suggest t h a t B r i e f o r S o l u t i o n -Focused c o u n s e l l i n g s t r a t e g i e s may be p r o d u c t i v e methods t o examine i n l i g h t of t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s f a c e d by r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s . FUTURE RESEARCH I t i s a x i o m a t i c t h a t a l l good r e s e a r c h g e n e r a t e s more r e s e a r c h . I t s h o u l d be o b v i o u s t h a t t h i s i s t r u e o f q u a l i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h as w e l l . More q u e s t i o n s a r e r a i s e d by the r e s e a r c h than a r e answered. ( G i o r g i , 1975, p.98). A c o n t i n u a t i o n o f r e s e a r c h i n t h i s a r e a would no doubt p r o v i d e w o r t h w h i l e i n f o r m a t i o n f o r s c h o o l c o u n s e l l o r s s p e c i f i c a l l y and e d u c a t o r s i n g e n e r a l . F u t u r e r e s e a r c h might c o n s i d e r a l a r g e r s a m p l i n g o f s t u d e n t s who p e r c e i v e themselves as e x p e r i e n c i n g r e j e c t i o n a t t h e hands of t h e i r p e e r s , perhaps i d e n t i f y i n g t h o s e who f e e l t h a t t h e y e x p e r i e n c e r e j e c t i o n a l l o f the t i m e , a l o n g a continuum t o t h o s e who r e p o r t t h a t they a r e never r e j e c t e d . I n t e r v i e w d a t a from i n d i v i d u a l s who r e p o r t themselves as b e i n g a t v a r y i n g p l a c e s on t h e continuum may y i e l d much i n f o r m a t i o n . F u r t h e r t o t h i s , i t would be 92 p r o d u c t i v e t o note whether t h e r e a r e s p e c i f i c t i m e s when s t u d e n t s a r e more l i k e l y t o be r e j e c t e d , e i t h e r d e v e l o p m e n t a l l y o r t e m p o r a l l y . I t would be i n t e r e s t i n g t o examine t h e s t u d e n t s who a r e i d e n t i f i a b l y t h o s e who h a r a s s i n d i v i d u a l s the most. These s t u d e n t s c l e a r l y have i s s u e s t h a t may be a d d r e s s e d t h r o u g h some o f t h e s u g g e s t i o n s mentioned p r e v i o u s l y . A s t u d y of t h e e f f i c a c i o u s n e s s o f v a r i o u s newer c o u n s e l l i n g s t r a t e g i e s i n d e a l i n g w i t h r e j e c t e d a d o l e s c e n t s , such as N a r r a t i v e , S o l u t i o n - F o c u s e d , and B r i e f T h e r a p i e s , might prove i n t e r e s t i n g and h e l p f u l . G i v e n t h a t t h e s e methods t e n d t o a v o i d s i t u a t i n g t h e "problem" w i t h i n t h e i n d i v i d u a l , t h e y may w e l l be b e t t e r s u i t e d than o t h e r methods, such as s o c i a l s k i l l s t r a i n i n g , w h i c h c l e a r l y i n d i c a t e t h a t the r e j e c t e d i n d i v i d u a l i s a t f a u l t f o r h i s o r h e r s i t u a t i o n . F i n a l l y , i t would be f r u i t f u l t o examine t h e r o l e of e a r l y a c c e p t a n c e o f i n d i v i d u a l s by c a r e g i v e r s i n c o n t r i b u t i n g t o t h e problems of l a t e r p eer r e j e c t i o n as w e l l as t h e p o t e n t i a l o f l a t e r a c c e p t a n c e on r e l i e v i n g the e f f e c t s o f r e j e c t i o n on t h e i n d i v i d u a l . 93 REFERENCES Aanstoos, C. M. (1986). Phenomenology and t h e p s y c h o l o g y o f t h i n k i n g . I n P. D. Ashworth, A. G i o r g i , & A. J . 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