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A descriptive study of the experiences and meanings of an adult male survivor of child sexual abuse Cameron, Malcolm Paul 1995

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A DESCRIPTIVE STUDY OF THE EXPERIENCES AND MEANINGS OF AN ADULT MALE SURVIVOR OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE by MALCOLM PAUL CAMERON M.R.E.,  B . A . , Grand Rapids B a p t i s t C o l l e g e , 1981 Grand Rapids B a p t i s t T h e o l o g i c a l Seminary, M . A . B . C . , Grace T h e o l o g i c a l Seminary, 1987  A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS  in  THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES (Department of C o u n s e l l i n g  We accept t h i s t h e s i s as  Psychology)  conforming  to the required standard  The U n i v e r s i t y of B r i t i s h Columbia March 1995 @ Malcolm Paul Cameron,  1995  1986  In  presenting this  degree  at the  thesis in  University of  partial  fulfilment  of  of this thesis for  department  or  by  his  or  scholarly purposes may be granted her  representatives.  permission.  Department The University of British Columbia Vancouver, Canada  DE-6 (2/88)  <s  ' O ?1  1A  for  an acJvanced  Library shall make  it  agree that permission for extensive  It  publication of this thesis for financial gain shall not  Date  requirements  British Columbia, I agree that the  freely available for reference and study. I further copying  the  is  by the  understood  that  head of copying  my or  be allowed without my written  ii  Abstract This study explores the experiences  and meanings of  an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of c h i l d sexual abuse.  A case  study approach i n the form of an i n - d e p t h i n t e r v i e w was u t i l i z e d i n an e f f o r t to examine one s u r v i v o r ' s experiences  and s u b j e c t i v e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s i n l i g h t of  h i s childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . I t was found that the s u r v i v o r elevated  his  experience of c h i l d sexual abuse to the degree t h a t n e g a t i v e l y permeated a l l aspects of h i s l i f e . sexual abuse was c i t e d by the s u r v i v o r as the  it  Child antecedent  t o the development of s p e c i f i c problematic l i f e  themes.  These themes i n c l u d e d sexual i d e n t i t y c o n f u s i o n , homophobia, ambivalence toward men, estrangement  from  h i s f a t h e r , u n s a t i s f y i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women,  fear  of i n t i m a c y , and movement toward recovery. This study therefore examines the p r e s e n t i n g data and i n c l u d e s a c r i t i c a l  analysis.  Ill  Table of  Contents  Abstract  ii  Table of Contents  iii  Acknowledgments Chapter I .  vi  Introduction  1  General Topic  1  Previous I n v e s t i g a t i o n s  3  Research Question  9  Rationale  '  Approach Chapter I I .  9 11  L i t e r a t u r e Review  13  C h i l d Sexual Abuse  13  Prevalence  17  Under-Reporting Factors  19  Long-Term E f f e c t s  20  Research D i r e c t i o n s  25  Q u a l i t a t i v e Research  29  Case Study  29  Chapter I I I .  Methodology  31  Personal Perspective  31  Design  36  Procedures  37  S e l e c t i o n of P a r t i c i p a n t  37  In-Depth Interview  38  iv  Analysis  42  Results  43  R e l i a b i l i t y and V a l i d i t y Issues  43  Construct V a l i d i t y  44  Internal V a l i d i t y  46  External V a l i d i t y  46  Reliability  47  Chapter I V .  Case P o r t r a i t  P o r t r a i t of W i l l y Chapter V .  R e f l e c t i o n s on Case Study  49 49 69  Introduction  69  Themes  69  Sexual I d e n t i t y Confusion  70  Homophobia  71  Estrangement From Father  71  Ambivalence Toward Men  72  U n s a t i s f y i n g R e l a t i o n s h i p s with Women  73  Fear of Intimacy  74  Movement Toward Recovery  74  Personal Reactions  75  Introduction  75  S u b j e c t ' s Research Commitment  77  S u b j e c t ' s Story of Abuse  77  S u b j e c t ' s O r a l Presentation  77  V  Subject's L i f e s t y l e  78  Subject's Relational Style  79  S u b j e c t ' s L i m i t e d Sense of Meaning  80  Conclusion  81  Introduction  81  A T h e o r e t i c a l Construct  83  Suggested A p p l i c a t i o n  86  Chapter V I . Discussion  i 91  Introduction  91  Findings  91  Limitations  92  T h e o r e t i c a l Implications  95  P r a c t i c a l Implications  105  Future Research i m p l i c a t i o n s  108  Summary  109  References  Ill  Appendix A  118  vi  Acknowledgment This study was made p o s s i b l e by the c o n t r i b u t i o n of Willy,  an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of c h i l d sexual abuse who  d i s c l o s e d h i s s t o r y f o r two reasons. First,  motivated by h i s commitment to embrace  personal wholeness, W i l l y chose to r e f l e c t over the course and content of h i s l i f e i n an e f f o r t to enhance h i s process of change. t h a t he gained i n s i g h t s ,  Consequently, W i l l y suggested encouragement,  and d i r e c t i o n  with respect to h i s personal development. Secondly, W i l l y d e s i r e d t o make h i s accessible  story  f o r research purposes i n a e f f o r t to promote  i n c r e a s e d awareness with respect to a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of c h i l d sexual abuse.  In so doing, W i l l y f e l t  that  other men might be encouraged i n t h e i r recovery as a r e s u l t of h i s  story.  Thank you, W i l l y ,  f o r your commitment t o  study, and f o r remaining p a t i e n t throughout duration.  this  its  1  Chapter  I.  Introduction  General  Topic  In the l a s t decade c h i l d sexual abuse  (CSA) has  a t t r a c t e d n a t i o n a l a t t e n t i o n i n the media as w e l l academic and p r o f e s s i o n a l c i r c l e s .  as  Society i s reminded  almost d a i l y that many of i t s members are v i c t i m s , p e r p e t r a t o r s , and/or s u r v i v o r s of CSA, i n some cases a combination of a l l t h r e e .  Questions concerning the  n a t u r e , e x t e n t , treatment,  and prevention of CSA are  being asked i n an e f f o r t an  to address what appears t o be  insurmountable problem ( C a h i l l , Llewelyn and Pearson,  1991) . Research with respect to CSA has focused on v a r i o u s i s s u e s such as prevalence, c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , factors,  coping mechanisms,  associated  risk  and long-term e f f e c t s  with childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n  (Beitchman, Zucker, Hood, DaCosta, Akman and C a s s a v i a , 1992) .  U n t i l recently,  most CSA research has been  concerned with the sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of females and, t o a l e s s e r degree, abuse.  the perpetrators of female  sexual  Inherent to most research studies concerning CSA  was the assumption that females were the primary v i c t i m s and  t h a t the sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of males was r a t h e r  uncommon (Watkims & Bentovim, 1992).  2  In recent y e a r s , however, there has been growing i n t e r e s t i n the sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of males i n an e f f o r t t o examine a population t h a t , f o r the most p a r t , has been neglected by r e s e a r c h .  P e t e r s , Wyatt and  F i n k e l h o r (1986), i n t h e i r review of the l i t e r a t u r e addressing prevalence r a t e s of male sexual victimization,  suggest t h a t considerable v a r i a t i o n s were  d e r i v e d from at l e a s t three American s t u d i e s .  They  conclude t h a t ranges e x i s t from 3% t o 31 % f o r males who have a h i s t o r y of CSA.  They comment that even the lower  r a t e s i n d i c a t e t h a t CSA i s f a r from an uncommon experience f o r males, and that the higher r a t e s r e p o r t e d would p o i n t t o a problem of epidemic p r o p o r t i o n s . Watkins and Bentovim (1992), based on t h e i r review of c u r r e n t research with respect to CSA of male children,  suggest that the study of male v i c t i m s of  sexual abuse i s j u s t beginning to develop.  In a d d i t i o n ,  they suggest the main d i f f i c u l t i e s i n a s s e s s i n g the a v a i l a b l e information have been the l a c k of gender a n a l y s i s i n most s t u d i e s , and, i n many i n s t a n c e s ,  the l a c k of c o n t r o l groups,  small sample s i z e s .  Despite apparent s i m i l a r i t i e s between males and females with respect t o long-term consequences of CSA, Watkins and Bentovim (1992) suggest gender a n a l y s i s as  3  an appropriate research d i r e c t i o n i n an e f f o r t t o examine p o s s i b l e variances t h a t may and  female v i c t i m s .  e x i s t between male  S p e c i f i c a l l y , the i s s u e s of under-  r e p o r t i n g and the degree to which males are at g r e a t e r r i s k of becoming perpetrators n e c e s s i t a t e f u r t h e r i n v e s t i g a t i o n (Watkins & Bentovim, 1992). The  focus of t h i s study, t h e r e f o r e , i s t h a t of male  v i c t i m s of CSA,  s p e c i f i c a l l y adult male s u r v i v o r s .  The  study i s e x p l o r a t o r y i n nature and seeks t o d e s c r i b e experiences  and meanings of one  the  s u r v i v o r ' s l i f e as i t  was  t o l d during the course of an in-depth  interview.  The  i n t e n t of t h i s study, t h e r e f o r e , i s t o examine an  a d u l t male s u r v i v o r ' s s t o r y i n an e f f o r t t o c o n t r i b u t e t o a growing body of l i t e r a t u r e addressing i s s u e s concerning  men  who  Previous  salient  were s e x u a l l y abused as boys. Investigations  Hayes and Long (1992) suggest t h a t i n recent there has been increased i n t e r e s t i n the i n c i d e n c e long-term e f f e c t s of sexual abuse of males.  years and  The  consequences of male sexual abuse are thought t o i n c l u d e f e e l i n g s of i s o l a t i o n , unworthiness, anger, masculine i d e n t i t y confusion, s t r e s s i n coping with the male r o l e , depression,  and sexual dysfunction  N a s j l e t e , 1980;  Roger & Terry, 1984;  (Dimock,  1988;  Summit & Kryso,  4  1978).  I t i s noted, however, that these d e s c r i p t i v e  statements are g e n e r a l l y derived from c l i n i c a l impressions  (Hayes & Long,  1992).  Beitchman et al.(1992) i n A review of the  long-term  e f f e c t s of c h i l d sexual abuse found that sexual abuse  is  an important problem with serious long-term sequelae. The s p e c i f i c  e f f e c t s of sexual abuse,  however,  independent of f o r c e , t h r e a t of f o r c e , or such f a m i l y v a r i a b l e s as p a r e n t a l psychopathology are s t i l l t o be clarified.  Furthermore, Beitchman et a l . suggest t h a t  c l i n i c a l samples may include a c o n s t e l l a t i o n  of  v a r i a b l e s commonly associated with psychopathology as f a m i l y d i s r u p t i o n , p a r e n t a l i l l n e s s  such  and a l c o h o l i s m  and t h a t t h e i r unique r e l a t i o n to CSA can not be  easily  determined unless c o n t r o l groups are i n c l u d e d . Beitchman et a l .  (1992) a l s o suggest t h a t v a r i o u s  symptoms have been reported i n the e a r l y aftermath of CSA, and t h a t ambiguity e x i s t s as to which e f f e c t s may be d i r e c t l y a t t r i b u t e d t o the abuse and which may be r e l a t e d to other antecedent or concomitant v a r i a b l e s . Consequently, there may be "sleeper" e f f e c t s of which a c h i l d may be unaware, emerging with dramatic impact i n adulthood.  While Beitchman et a l . do not d i s c r e d i t or  minimize the l e g i t i m a c y of short-term e f f e c t s  5  experienced by c h i l d r e n , they do suggest t h a t  adults  are able t o assess childhood events from a d i f f e r e n t p s y c h o l o g i c a l perspective than that of a c h i l d and t h a t understanding the adult perspective  i s necessary  to  u n r a v e l the f u l l impact of CSA. Watkins and Bentovim (1992) i n The sexual abuse of male c h i l d r e n and adolescents: A review of c u r r e n t r e s e a r c h found that research with respect to  sexually  abused males has c l e a r l y lagged behind that of abused females.  sexually  They a t t r i b u t e the l a g i n r e s e a r c h t o  the notion t h a t sexual abuse of males was seen as an uncommon, i f not r a r e , problem p a r t l y because i t was doubted t h a t sexual abuse had s i g n i f i c a n t e f f e c t s on males or t h e i r subsequent  development  In a d d i t i o n , Watkins and Bentovim (1992) found t h a t many s t u d i e s with respect to s e x u a l l y abused males and the consequent  long-term e f f e c t s s u f f e r from one of  the  f o l l o w i n g l i m i t a t i o n s : being anecdotal; having b i a s e d samples;  samples being too small i n s i z e ; a l a c k of  comparison groups; having no or i n s u f f i c i e n t measures;  being r e t r o s p e c t i v e ;  objective  and, most r e l e v a n t l y ,  f a i l i n g to undertake gender a n a l y s i s .  Despite  methodological l i m i t a t i o n s , most s t u d i e s have c o n t r i b u t e d v a r y i n g degrees of h e l p f u l i n s i g h t s  into  6  i s s u e s c o n f r o n t i n g male v i c t i m s of CSA (Vander Mey, 1988). In a recent study s p e c i f i c to men who were abused as boys, D o l l et a l . c h i l d h o o d and adolescent  sexually  (1992) i n S e l f - r e p o r t e d  abuse among adult homosexual  and b i s e x u a l men found that out of 1,001  adult  homosexual and b i s e x u a l male p a r t i c i p a n t s a t t e n d i n g s e x u a l l y t r a n s m i t t e d disease c l i n i c s 37% reported they had been encouraged or forced to have sexual  contact  before age 19 with an o l d e r more powerful p a r t n e r and t h a t 97% of these i n c i d e n t s occurred with men. al.  Doll  et  suggest the prevalence of sexual abuse with the  study p o p u l a t i o n was considerably higher than t h a t r e p o r t e d from most studies of male sexual  abuse.  Although the focus of the study was t h a t of a d u l t males, the study d i d not comment on long-term e f f e c t s ,  coping  mechanisms, or variances that may have been present with r e s p e c t t o how the p a r t i c i p a n t s viewed t h e i r v i c t i m i z a t i o n as compared to  sexual  females.  In the f i r s t U . S . n a t i o n a l study of male s u r v i v o r s of CSA, Mendel (1995) examined a c l i n i c a l p o p u l a t i o n of one hundred twenty-four men who i d e n t i f i e d themselves as having experienced sexual abuse i n c h i l d h o o d .  The  c e n t r a l focus of the study was to f u r t h e r understand the  7  r e l a t i o n s h i p between various abuse c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and adult psychosocial functioning. i n c l u d e d d u r a t i o n of abuse,  Independent  variables  s e v e r i t y of abuse,  number of  p e r p e t r a t o r s , age of respondent at onset of of  abuse,  presence of p h y s i c a l abuse, drug use by p e r p e t r a t o r , gender of the p e r p e t r a t o r , i n t r a - versus e x t r a f a m i l i a l abuse,  and sexual i n t e r a c t i o n s with mother, f a t h e r , and  siblings. A multimethod approach was u t i l i z e d , i n c l u d i n g both standardized and o r i g i n a l measures i n the form of a questionnaire.  In a d d i t i o n semi-structured  interviews  with a sub-sample of nine men were i n c l u d e d i n an e f f o r t t o e x t r a p o l a t e data from personal accounts. respect to the q u e s t i o n n a i r e , checklists  three  With  self-report  were u t i l i z e d : The Trauma Symptom C h e c k l i s t  (TSC;  B r i e r e & Runtz, 1989); the World Assumptions S c a l e  (WAS;  Janoff-Bulman, 1989); and, the B r i e f  Sexual  Function Questionnaire f o r Men (BSFQ: Reynolds et 1988).  The o r i g i n a l measures made up the bulk of  study and i n c l u d e d a number of questions respondent's  the  related to  the  sexual abuse h i s t o r y as w e l l as a number of  demographic questions  regarding the respondent's  e t h n i c s t a t u s , m a r i t a l s t a t u s , educational attained.  al.,  level  age,  8  Mendel (1995) c i t e d the l i m i t a t i o n s of the study t o i n c l u d e the f a c t that v i r t u a l l y a l l of the men had p a r t i c i p a t e d i n extensive psychotherapy, t h a t a high percentage of the respondents i d e n t i f i e d themselves as homosexual, t h a t perpetrators may have been screened out of the study by r e f e r r i n g t h e r a p i s t s ,  and t h a t  the  sample p o p u l a t i o n was predominantly white with high l e v e l s of education i n f e r r i n g a higher l e v e l of socioeconomic s t a t u s .  Thus, the g e n e r a l i z a b i l i t y of a  study of t h i s nature i s obviously l i m i t e d . Nonetheless,  Mendel (1995) found t h a t most o f  the  p a r t i c i p a n t s i n the study understood CSA as having damaging e f f e c t s on a l l aspects of t h e i r l i v e s .  I t was  f u r t h e r found t h a t the f o l l o w i n g i s s u e s s p e c i f i c t o male gender surfaced as a r e s u l t of the study: attempted e f f o r t s  the  1)  to i n c o r p o r a t e v i c t i m i z a t i o n i n t o  p r e v i o u s l y held schemas concerning m a s c u l i n i t y ; 2)  the  f a c t of being acted-upon was perceived as a t h r e a t  to  the p a r t i c i p a n t ' s view of themselves as men; 3)  the  common assumption that male v i c t i m s are somehow r e s p o n s i b l e f o r the abuse; 4) the assumptions  that  v i c t i m s i n e v i t a b l y become perpetrators due t o  society's  b e l i e f t h a t a l l men are oppressors; and, 5) common questions  concerning sexual o r i e n t a t i o n .  9  In g e n e r a l , most studies with respect t o a d u l t s u r v i v o r s of CSA have as t h e i r focus c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , symptomatology, prevalence, long-term e f f e c t s and, t o a l e s s e r degree, treatment c o n s i d e r a t i o n s .  From these  s t u d i e s questions have emerged with respect t o gender a n a l y s i s as an appropriate d i r e c t i o n f o r f u r t h e r research.  Recent r e s e a r c h , t h e r e f o r e , appears t o be  motivated by the hypothesis that males experience CSA d i f f e r e n t l y than females r e s u l t i n g i n l i f e events and a s s o c i a t e d meanings s p e c i f i c t o the male gender. Research  Question  This study examines and describes the phenomenon of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA. focus on the experiences  The i n v e s t i g a t i o n  will  and meanings a s s o c i a t e d w i t h  one man's childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  In essence,  t h i s study w i l l probe i n t o the l i f e of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of sexual abuse, thereby i n v e s t i g a t i n g f a b r i c of h i s experiences, meanings.  the  thoughts, emotions, and  In so doing, an e f f o r t w i l l be made t o  understand how h i s childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n r a d i a t e d throughout the course of h i s  life.  Rationale Research with respect t o adult male s u r v i v o r s of c h i l d h o o d sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n i s l i m i t e d .  Most s t u d i e s  10  addressing the long-term e f f e c t s of childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n are comparative i n nature to women and are c l i n i c a l l y based.  Few studies even mention a d u l t males  s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse.  More often than not,  adult  male s u r v i v o r s are b r i e f l y mentioned i n the context of treatment c o n s i d e r a t i o n s  toward the end of c l i n i c a l  studies. The assumption inherent i n studies of t h i s  nature  i s t h a t an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r ' s long-term e f f e c t s  are  remarkably s i m i l a r to those of adult female s u r v i v o r s . Consequently, both t h e o r e t i c a l and treatment considerations  f o r men are based on  generalizations  d e r i v e d from s t u d i e s p r i m a r i l y concerned with women. (Andrews, 1994; Bagley and K i n g ,  1990; Vander Mey,  Watkims and Bentovim, 1992; Andrews, 1994;  1990;  Mendel,  1995). The r a t i o n a l e f o r t h i s study, t h e r e f o r e ,  is  that  the f i n d i n g s w i l l c o n t r i b u t e to a growing body of research l i t e r a t u r e addressing s a l i e n t t h e o r e t i c a l and p r a c t i c a l i s s u e s concerning adult male s u r v i v o r s of CSA. I t i s a n t i c i p a t e d that a c l e a r e r understanding of  adult  male s u r v i v o r s of CSA w i l l be developed thereby c o n t r i b u t i n g the development of e f f e c t i v e modalities.  treatment  11  Approach The approach t o t h i s study was r e s e a r c h methodology.  through f i e l d work  S p e c i f i c a l l y , a case study  was  u t i l i z e d t o explore the experiences and meanings of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA i n t e r e s t was  (Yin, 1994).  Of p a r t i c u l a r  the s u r v i v o r ' s l i f e experiences and  their  meanings, coping methods, and perceived long-term e f f e c t s of h i s childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . This research i s e x p l o r a t o r y and d e s c r i p t i v e i n nature ( Y i n , 1994).  I t s aim i s t o capture the  essence  and complexity of the r e a l - l i f e experiences of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA i n h i s own  context.  A case study  approach i s appropriate as t h i s methodology best captures the l i v i n g elements of h i s experiences, a s s o c i a t e d meanings, r e l a t i o n s h i p s , coping mechanisms, p e r c e i v e d long-term e f f e c t s , and p s y c h o l o g i c a l processes (Yin,  1994). The primary source of information f o r t h i s  was  obtained through an in-depth i n t e r v i e w w i t h  p a r t i c i p a n t t o t a l l i n g approximately f i v e hours. i n t e r v i e w focused on the l i f e experiences and meanings of the a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA  study one The  their  before,  d u r i n g , and f o l l o w i n g the time p e r i o d i n which the abuse occurred.  Included i n the i n t e r v i e w was  an account of  12  c u r r e n t l i f e experiences with the awareness t h a t  the  p a r t i c i p a n t remains i n a process of continued s e l f discovery.  From t h i s e x p l o r a t i o n l i f e themes became  apparent, ones t h a t were understood by the subject t o be an accurate r e f l e c t i o n of his l i f e .  The  self-others  schema and l i f e themes w i l l be discussed at length i n a l a t e r chapter of the study. The p a r t i c i p a n t was s e l e c t e d as a r e s u l t of  his  v o l u n t a r y response to an ad placed i n the Vancouver Men's Evolvement Network J o u r n a l .  An i n i t i a l  meeting  t r a n s p i r e d during which time i t was determined t h a t s t o r y of abuse was c r e d i b l e .  his  The p a r t i c i p a n t presented  as d e s i r i n g t o share h i s experience of childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n and was prepared to o f f e r references h i s t h e r a p i s t s to v a l i d a t e the a u t h e n t i c i t y of  from  his  claims. The p a r t i c i p a n t ' s r a t i o n a l e f o r v o l u n t e e r i n g f o r t h i s study was rooted i n his process of  self-discovery.  Consequently, he decided as a r e s u l t of therapy t o  share  h i s s t o r y of abuse with someone other than a t h e r a p i s t . In so d o i n g , an e f f o r t was made by the p a r t i c i p a n t t o a i d i n the growing awareness and understanding of men who were s e x u a l l y abused as boys.  13  Chapter  II.  Child  Literature Sexual  Review  Abuse  CSA can be d e f i n e d as the involvement  of dependent  developmentally immature c h i l d r e n or adolescents i n sexual a c t i v i t i e s they do not t r u l y comprehend, and t o which they are unable t o give informed consent and t h a t v i o l a t e the taboos of f a m i l y r o l e s (Schechter & Roberge, 1976).  Included i n what could be understood  as a  t r a d i t i o n a l d e f i n i t i o n of c h i l d sexual abuse i s an  age  d i f f e r e n t i a l between p e r p e t r a t o r and v i c t i m of a t l e a s t f i v e years (Watkins  & Bentovim, 1991).  Recently, increased awareness of CSA  i n c i d e n t s by  younger p e r p e t r a t o r s has r e s u l t e d i n the suggestion of a two year age d i f f e r e n t i a l , along with other c r i t e r i a , t o d e f i n e i n t e r - c h i l d sexual a c t i v i t i e s which are c l e a r l y abusive (Johnsons,  1988,  1989).  Cantwell (1988)  suggests a d e f i n i t i o n of sexual abuse between c h i l d r e n t h a t focuses e n t i r e l y on behavior, thus d i s p e n s i n g with an age c r i t e r i o n a l t o g e t h e r .  Watkins and Bentovim  (1992) i n d i c a t e t h a t d e s c r i p t i o n s of c h i l d r e n as  abusers  complete the spectrum of s e x u a l l y abusive behavior  first  d e s c r i b e d between adults and c h i l d r e n , and adolescents and  children.  14  CSA, f o r the purposes of t h i s study, any sexual a c t i v i t y or experience which r e s u l t s  i s defined as  imposed on a c h i l d  i n emotional, p h y s i c a l , or sexual trauma  r e g a r d l e s s of the p e r p e t r a t o r ' s age ( B u t l e r ,  1985).  T h i s d e f i n i t i o n recognizes  abusive  activities  the wide range of  which follow a continuum r a t h e r than forming  d i s t i n c t c a t e g o r i e s that are often r e s t r i c t e d by age differentials  (Bagley and King,  1992).  However, i n an e f f o r t to avoid the m i n i m i z a t i o n of CSA by u s i n g a broad d e f i n i t i o n , Kempe and Kempe (1984), champions of the battered c h i l d syndrome, suggest the f o l l o w i n g d e l i n e a t i o n of those a c t i v i t i e s  which are  c l e a r l y abusive t o c h i l d r e n : (1)  sexual  incest -  a c t i v i t y between family members; (2)  pedophilia -  the  preference of an adult f o r the prepubertal c h i l d r e n as sex o b j e c t s ;  (3)  e x h i b i t i o n i s m - the exposure of  g e n i t a l s by an a d u l t male;  (4) molestation -  behaviors  such as t o u c h i n g , f o n d l i n g , k i s s i n g , and masturbation; (5)  sexual i n t e r c o u r s e - i n c l u d i n g o r a l - g e n i t a l ,  genital,  or p e n i l e - v a g i n a l contact;  (6)  anal-  rape - sexual or  attempted i n t e r c o u r s e without consent of the v i c t i m ; sexual sadism - the i n f l i c t i o n of b o d i l y i n j u r y as a means of o b t a i n i n g sexual excitement;  (8)  child  pornography - the production and d i s t r i b u t i o n of  (7)  15  m a t e r i a l i n v o l v i n g minors i n sexual a c t s ;  and (9)  child  p r o s t i t u t i o n - the involvement of c h i l d r e n i n sex  acts  for p r o f i t . These categories  i l l u s t r a t e the various  t o which c h i l d r e n may be subjected.  activities  N a t u r a l l y , the  r e s u l t a n t trauma may depend on the degree and d u r a t i o n of i n t r u s i o n as w e l l as the age and developmental  level  of the c h i l d to whom i t occurs, not t o mention the nature of the r e l a t i o n s h i p between the c h i l d and the offender  (Bagley and K i n g ,  1992).  Recent developments i n d e f i n i n g CSA e n t e r t a i n d i s t i n c t i o n s between abusive and non-abusive contact with c h i l d r e n .  Specifically,  sexual  sexualized  a t t e n t i o n has been put forward as a term to d e s c r i b e the boundary between c l e a r l y abusive and c l e a r l y behavior (Haynes-Seman & Krugman, 1989).  acceptable  Obvious  abusive behavior of a boy would be masturbating the boy, anal f i n g e r i n g or i n t e r c o u r s e , whereas c a r e s s i n g and s t r o k i n g a baby's buttocks p e r s i s t e n t l y ,  or poking  f i n g e r s i n the mouth, which were arousing t o the  father,  would be examples of what was considered s e x u a l i z e d attention. therefore,  I t i s thought that sexualized depends on the a f f e c t i v e  attention,  and s e x u a l l y aroused  s t a t e of c a r e g i v e r and whether the c h i l d has a sexual  16  response t o i t .  The d i s t i n c t i o n between sexual abuse  and sexual a t t e n t i o n f u r t h e r fades i n t o the realm of c u d d l i n g , vigorous bouncing,  and rough-housing which i s  s t e r e o t y p i c a l l y the normal approach, i n p a r t i c u l a r , t o boys by f a t h e r s (Watkin and Bentovim, 1992). Sexualized a t t e n t i o n i s n a t u r a l l y l i n k e d t o other important  research questions such as what e f f e c t s a t  d i f f e r e n t ages, i f any, does modelling of sexual behavior have, and, what c o n s t i t u t e s abusive Faller  (1989a),  modelling?  Seghorn, Prentky and Boucher (1987),  Smith and I s r a e l  and  (1987) a s s e r t t h a t the i s s u e of  s e x u a l i z e d a t t e n t i o n i s an important  factor.  However,  the e t h i c a l , a c c e s s i b i l i t y , m u l t i f a c t o r i a l research design problems inherent i n answering such questions are formidable and as yet have not been met  (Watkins and  Bentovim, 1992). Besides as few p i o n e e r i n g s t u d i e s on s e l e c t e d parent s e l f - r e p o r t groups (e.g. Rosenfeld, B a i l e y , S i e g e l & B a i l e y , 1986;  Rosenfeld, S i e g e l & B a i l e y ,  1987), there i s l i t t l e r e l i a b l e information on community p a t t e r n s of g e n i t a l contact between parent and p a r t i c u l a r l y i n bathing or t o i l e t i n g s i t u a t i o n s and Bentovim, 1992).  children, (Watkins  Obviously i n f a n t s and t o d d l e r s are  s u b j e c t t o c l o s e p h y s i c a l contact during c a r e - t a k i n g  17  functions.  Rosenfeld et a l . ' s (1986) found t h a t more  than 50% of 8-10  year o l d daughters were reported as  touching t h e i r mother s breasts and g e n i t a l s , and more 1  than 30% t o be touching t h e i r f a t h e r ' s g e n i t a l s , while more than 40% of 8-10  year o l d sons were reported as  touching t h e i r mother's g e n i t a l s and about 2 0%  their  father's genitals. Regardless  as t o whether the use of a boy f o r the  sexual g r a t i f i c a t i o n of another i n d i v i d u a l i s d e f i n e d as s e x u a l l y abusive or s e x u a l i z e d a t t e n t i o n , i t i s c l e a r from the a v a i l a b l e l i t e r a t u r e t h a t the long-term of imposed sexual a c t i v i t y are present and,  effects  f o r the most  p a r t , damaging t o the development of the male's s e x u a l i t y i n the broadest sense of the term.  I t i s the  p o s i t i o n of t h i s study t h a t the concept of s e x u a l i z e d a t t e n t i o n be f u r t h e r examined so as t o maintain with r e s p e c t t o d e f i n i n g s e x u a l l y abusive  clarity  behavior.  Prevalence The d e f i n i t i o n s of sexual abuse used i n r e s e a r c h s t u d i e s , sample s e l e c t i o n s , and methods of asking questions regarding sexual abuse s t r o n g l y i n f l u e n c e the prevalence r a t e s (Watkins and Bentovim, 1992).  I t was  commonly b e l i e v e d 15 years ago t h a t g i r l s were abused i n excess of boys i n a r a t i o of about 9 to 1 (Watkins and  18  Bentovim, 1992).  However, contemporary s t u d i e s  now  i n d i c a t e t h a t the r a t i o of g i r l s t o boys abused  has  narrowed remarkably. The m a j o r i t y of community studies (e.g. Badgley e t al,  1984;  Burman, 1985;  McShane, 1984;  Murphy, 1985)  g i r l s t o 1 boy. so uniform. 1 boy  Clinical  2-4  s t u d i e s , conversely, are  (Hobbs & Wynne, 1987)  1987;  suggest a r a t i o of  The highest reported r a t i o i s 2.2  g i r l s abused t o 1 boy al.,  F i n k e l h o r , 1984d; Kercher &  girls  to  whereas other r e p o r t s show 4  (Adams-Tucker, 1984;  Bentovim e t  Gale, Thompson, Moran & Sack, 1988).  c o n t i n u i n g discrepancy between community and  The  clinical  r a t i o s are an ongoing concern f o r research and f u r t h e r e x p l o r a t i o n and  not  require  explanation.  P e t e r s , Wyatt and Finkelhor (1986) c a r r i e d out a wide ranging review of the prevalence males t o females.  of CSA  comparing  They examined volunteer samples,  c o l l e g e student samples, and community samples.  Their  c o n c l u s i o n s from these North American s t u d i e s was  that  there i s c o n s i d e r a b l e v a r i a t i o n i n the prevalence  rates  f o r CSA  d e r i v e d from the studies that were examined.  Reported ranges were from 6% t o 62% f o r females and 3% t o 31% f o r males (Watkins and Bentovim, 1992).  from  19  F i n k e l h o r (1984b) concluded i n h i s Review Boys as V i c t i m s t h a t estimates from surveys of men i n the general p o p u l a t i o n would i n d i c a t e that perhaps 2.5-8.7% of men are s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d as c h i l d r e n .  Further,  F i n k e l h o r suggests that abused boys have not been coming t o p u b l i c a t t e n t i o n to the same extent as  sexually  abused g i r l s and therefore r a i s e s the i s s u e of  possible  under-reporting. Under-Reporting  Factors  The u n d e r - r e p o r t i n g of male CSA i s understood as commonplace by most researchers 1992).  In essence, p o s s i b l e  (Watkins and Bentovim,  factors leading to  the  u n d e r - r e p o r t i n g of sexual abuse i n boys can be c o n c e p t u a l i z e d as e i t h e r coming from w i t h i n the boy himself or due to a l a c k of response by those around him.  F a c t o r s i n f l u e n c i n g u n d e r - r e p o r t i n g of  sexual  abuse i n boys are thought to include fear of homosexuality,  d i f f e r e n t i a l emotional response t o being  s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d ( e x t e r n a l i z i n g as opposed t o internalizing),  l a c k of s u p e r v i s i o n whereby a boy's  v u l n e r a b i l i t y to e x t r a f a m i l i a l abuse i s  increased,  blaming the boy as i f the abuse was somehow the boys fault,  the missing of a l e r t o r s more p e r t i n e n t to boys  such as homophobic behavior, d e n i a l of abuse by females  20  i n t h a t women are often seen as being s e x u a l l y t o c h i l d r e n , d e n i a l of father-son abuse, c h i l d - c h i l d abuse  harmless  and d e n i a l of  (Watkins and Bentovim, 1992). Long-Term  Effects  Research with respect to the long-term e f f e c t s associated  with male CSA has tended t o be comparative i n  n a t u r e , addressing p a r a l l e l s between males and females i n r e l a t i o n to demographics, symptomatology,  attributions,  and long-term e f f e c t s .  demographics v a r y , a t t r i b u t i o n s symptomatology, depression,  In s h o r t ,  while  ( i n t e r n a l and e x t e r n a l ) ,  and long-term e f f e c t s such as  anxiety,  gender i d e n t i t y  confusion,  posttraumatic s t r e s s d i s o r d e r , sexual d y s f u n c t i o n , and sexual i d e n t i t y confusion are found to be r e l a t i v e l y c o n s i s t e n t i n the experiences  of both males and females.  Beitchman (1992) i n a review of the  literature  concerning the long-term e f f e c t s of CSA suggests t h a t the v i c t i m s of CSA are predominantly female and t h a t little  a t t e n t i o n has been focused on male v i c t i m s .  Bentovim and Watkin (1992) i n d i c a t e that the question of whether there might be d i f f e r e n t i a l e f f e c t s has yet  to  be s e r i o u s l y researched and we are l e f t to r e l y on scattered  impressions from c l i n i c a l s e t t i n g s ,  i n v o l v i n g small samples.  usually  21  Beitchman (1992) concludes that there i s  evidence  t o support long-term sequelae of CSA among boys. c i t e s v a r i o u s outcome domains which i n c l u d e d y s f u n c t i o n , gender i d e n t i t y c o n f l i c t , and an increased r i s k of becoming sex perpetrators.  He  sexual  homosexuality, abuse  Beitchman warns that evidence  in this  regard i s suggestive and c e r t a i n l y warrants f u r t h e r research.  Whether or not, according to Beitchman, male  v i c t i m s of CSA are l i k e l y to show more severe or unique sequelae than female v i c t i m s i s a moot p o i n t . Myers (1989) reported that men who were s e x u a l l y a s s a u l t e d as boys or young adults described problem areas i n t h e i r l i v e s such as r e p r e s s i o n ,  self-blame,  posttraumatic s t r e s s d i s o r d e r , male gender fragility,  sexual o r i e n t a t i o n ambiguity,  identity  mistrustfulness  of a d u l t men, i n t e r n a l i z e d homophobia, and disturbances of s e l f - e s t e e m and body image. Vander Mey (1988) presents the hypothesis  that  d i s t i n c t long-term e f f e c t s can and do e x i s t f o r a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s .  She does, however, acknowledge  importance of previous comparative research with  the respect  t o a d u l t male and female s u r v i v o r s , and suggests t h a t significant  f i n d i n g s be taken i n t o c o n s i d e r a t i o n when  22  f o c u s i n g on research questions concerning the sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of males. Cahill of CSA  (1991) suggests t h a t the long-term  effects  on males i s t h a t of depression, i s o l a t i o n , poor  s e l f - c o n c e p t , d i f f i c u l t y i n e s t a b l i s h i n g and r e l a t i o n s h i p s , and sexual problems.  maintaining  In a d d i t i o n , C a h i l l  i n d i c a t e s t h a t male v i c t i m s of CSA r e p o r t a l a c k of i d e n t i t y with, or problems i n coming t o terms with, t h e i r own  gender, sexual preference c o n f l i c t ,  sexual  d y s f u n c t i o n , sexual f a n t a s i e s or a t t r a c t i o n towards c h i l d r e n , and sexual compulsion.  Cahill  expresses  concern over the l a c k of research with respect t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse and hypothesizes t h a t some of the a f f e c t f o r a d u l t males i s d i f f e r e n t from t h a t of a d u l t females. F i n k e l h o r (1992), r e p o r t i n g on the f i r s t n a t i o n a l survey of a d u l t s concerning prevalence, and r i s k f a c t o r s a s s o c i a t e d with CSA = 1,481  characteristics,  (n = 1,145  males; n  females), concludes t h a t f i n d i n g s were  c o n s i s t e n t with smaller s c a l e surveys and suggests need f o r continued research with respect t o effects.  the  long-term  F i n k e l h o r ' s concluding remarks i n d i c a t e t h a t a  h i s t o r y of sexual abuse can be found i n an f r a c t i o n of men  important  and women i n the general p o p u l a t i o n , and  23  t h a t many of these experiences are at the hands of a person known to the c h i l d .  The report d i d not  address  the i s s u e s of p o t e n t i a l variance with respect t o term e f f e c t s between male and female  long-  victims.  L i t e r a t u r e concerning the treatment and recovery of long-term e f f e c t s of sexual abuse of males i s beginning to surface Law,  1990;  1990;  (Cahill,  Vander Mey,  j u s t now  1 9 9 0 ; Dole, 1 9 9 2 ; Hunter, 1988).  Self-help  l i t e r a t u r e has emerged i n response to the growing awareness of the needs of women and men who are beginning,  f o r a v a r i e t y of reasons,  sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  Bass and Davis  to r e v e a l (1988)  their  i n The  courage to h e a l : A guide for women s u r v i v o r s of  child  sex abuse present h e l p f u l information f o r women i n the process of recovery.  Bass and Davis acknowledge  the  book was w r i t t e n p r i m a r i l y f o r women and were not prepared t o address the recovery process f o r men at  the  time of w r i t i n g . Recently,  Davis  (1990)  i n The courage t o  heal  workbook: For women and men s u r v i v o r s of c h i l d sex addresses the needs of adult male s u r v i v o r s of abuse.  abuse  sexual  While acknowledging the movement of men toward  r e c o v e r y , Davis presents w r i t t e n and o r a l e x e r c i s e s may or may not be a p p l i c a b l e f o r both genders.  At  that first  24  glance,  the e x e r c i s e s are seemingly h e l p f u l i n  i d e n t i f y i n g the f a c t of v i c t i m i z a t i o n , as w e l l  as  s i g n i f i c a n t outcome domains such as i n t e r p e r s o n a l relationships, intimacy, however,  anger, t r u s t i s s u e s ,  sex and p a r e n t i n g .  self-esteem,  The m a t e r i a l does n o t ,  address how men might f e e l about themselves i n  the midst of p r e v a i l i n g norms, a t t i t u d e s ,  and b e l i e f s  w i t h i n s o c i e t y concerning m a s c u l i n i t y . Lew (1989) i n Victims no longer: Men r e c o v e r i n g from i n c e s t and other sexual c h i l d abuse writes out of h i s own experience  as a psychotherapist having  c o u n s e l l e d numerous adult male s u r v i v o r s of abuse.  sexual  Most of the book reveals personal accounts  of  sexual abuse while p r o v i d i n g l i t e r a t u r e and community resources  f o r those i n the process of recovery.  Lew's  work i s h e l p f u l i n i d e n t i f y i n g major c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and symptomatology of adult male s u r v i v o r s .  Hunter (1990)  i n Abused boys addresses the recovery process  f o r male  s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse, partners of those i n r e c o v e r y , c l i n i c i a n s , and others i n the h e l p i n g professions.  Unfortunately, Hunter's l i s t of  although h e l p f u l , i s not s p e c i f i c to males.  resources, In  a d d i t i o n , the recounting of the v i c t i m ' s s t o r i e s h e l p f u l i n understanding issues r e l a t e d to sexual  is abuse  25  although drawing together common themes so as t o understand long-term e f f e c t s i s  Research  limited.  Directions  Vander Mey (1988) and C a h i l l assumptions  better  (1990)  question  associated with the findings of comparative  r e s e a r c h i n r e l a t i o n to the long-term e f f e c t s experienced by male and female adult s u r v i v o r s of abuse.  They c l a i m that adult male s u r v i v o r s of  sexual  sexual  abuse have seldom been researched apart from s t u d i e s comparing both male and female s u r v i v o r s , and t h a t  most  of the comparisons are symptomalogical i n n a t u r e .  In  a d d i t i o n , Vander Mey and C a h i l l suggest t h a t comparative research i n s u f f i c i e n t l y of  addresses the long-term e f f e c t s  sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n on adult male s u r v i v o r s i n the  context of p r e v a i l i n g and p o s s i b l y oppressive societal,  familial,  and c u l t u r a l norms surrounding m a s c u l i n i t y .  G e i s e r (1979) notes that the sexual misuse of male c h i l d r e n i s a p o o r l y understood area of c h i l d abuse w i t h much misinformation and many myths.  He suggests t h a t  the dynamics of sexual abuse of males have l i t t l e common with those i n v o l v i n g females.  in  Vander Mey (1988)  suggests t h a t perhaps some of the misunderstanding  is  due t o the s i l e n c e surrounding the sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of males i n s o c i e t y , and that m a s c u l i n i t y i n v o l v e s  a  26  d e n i a l of helplessness with p a s s i v i t y on the p a r t of  the  male being equated with homosexuality. Vander Mey (1988) draws a t t e n t i o n to the f a c t  that  male sexual abuse v i c t i m s frequently s u f f e r i n  silence  thus v i c t i m i z i n g themselves.  the  She a s s e r t s t h a t  e f f e c t s of sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n on male c h i l d r e n , p l a c e d i n the context of s t e r e o t y p i c a l concepts of m a s c u l i n i t y , i n c l u d e mental d i s o r d e r s , the p r o b a b i l i t y of becoming r a p i s t s and i n c e s t offenders as a d u l t s , and the development of homosexual i d e n t i f i c a t i o n . Research on male sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , according to Vander Mey (1988), s u f f e r s in size,  from samples s e v e r e l y  convenience samples,  limited  analyses dependent upon  post factum v i c t i m r e p o r t s , research p r i m a r i l y o r exclusively  focused on the v i c t i m i z a t i o n of females  female v i c t i m s , a focus on only one type of sexual (e.g.,  incest,  replication.  or abuse  p e d o p h i l i a , r a p e ) , and l a c k of She argues f o r continued and i n c r e a s e d  r e s e a r c h focusing s p e c i f i c a l l y on the i s s u e s surrounding a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of CSA. As evidenced i n the preceding paragraphs, there  is  growing concern surrounding the long-term e f f e c t s of CSA i n male v i c t i m s .  In a d d i t i o n , there i s s p e c u l a t i o n t h a t  long-term e f f e c t s of CSA f o r adult males may i n v o l v e  27  unique variances when compared to the long-term e f f e c t s of a d u l t females.  While research does not  support t h i s s p e c u l a t i o n ,  explicitly  a number of points can be  taken i n t o account when c o n s i d e r i n g the long-term impact of sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of First,  males.  males can be and are s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d and  s u f f e r negative long-term e f f e c t s as a r e s u l t of victimization.  sexual  Beitchman (1992) found t h a t male v i c t i m s  of CSA show d i s t u r b e d adult sexual f u n c t i o n i n g and t h a t "sleeper" e f f e c t s ,  of which the c h i l d and others are  unaware, may emerge with dramatic impact i n adulthood. Second, P i e r c e and P i e r c e (1985) found that force or t h r e a t of force were s i g n i f i c a n t l y more common among a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s than that of adult female abuse s u r v i v o r s .  sexual  T h i r d , Johnson and S h r i e r (1985) found  t h a t 25% of v i c t i m i z e d males (n = 40) compared w i t h 5% of c o n t r o l s  (n = 40) reported sexual d y s f u n c t i o n ,  60% s a i d t h a t the sexual abuse had had a impact on t h e i r  and  significant  lives.  F o u r t h , Rogers and Terry (1984) reported t h a t male sex abuse v i c t i m s showed confusion of sexual i n a p p r o p r i a t e attempts t o r e a s s e r t  their  identity,  masculinity,  and r e c a p i t u l a t i o n of the abuse experience.  Finally,  Longo (1982) found i n a sample of male adolescent  sex  28  offenders  (n = 17) that 47% had been s e x u a l l y abused as  children,  and Becker (1988) reported a 19% i n c i d e n c e of  CSA among male sex offenders  (n = 139).  G i l g u n and Reiser (1990) r e c e n t l y s t u d i e d the  lives  of three men who were s e x u a l l y abused as boys t o determine thoughts,  feelings,  and misgivings as they  were coming t o terms with t h e i r sexual i d e n t i t y . found t h a t the sexual o r i e n t a t i o n of two of the  I t was subjects  was not a f f e c t e d by being s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d whereas the t h i r d subject f e l t that h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n i n t e r r u p t e d heterosexual development.  A l l subjects  i n d i c a t e d t h a t the process of coming t o terms with t h e i r sexual i d e n t i t y i n v o l v e d years of s i l e n t s u f f e r i n g and i n t e r n a l i z e d homophobia, not t o mention having t o d e a l with a homophobic c u l t u r e . Based on these f i n d i n g i t i s reasonable t o suggest t h a t there i s evidence t o support long-term e f f e c t s of at l e a s t c e r t a i n forms of sexual abuse i n a d u l t male survivors.  Vander Mey (1988) suggests that male  c h i l d r e n are indeed n e g a t i v e l y a f f e c t e d by sexual victimization.  The degree t o which the long-term  e f f e c t s of sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n f o r males v a r i e s from those of females i s a c u r r e n t and much needed p o i n t of  29  d i s c u s s i o n i n the ongoing research concerning sexual victimization. Qualitative  Research  The phenomena studied i n q u a l i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h are l a r g e l y i n t e r n a l processes such as perceptions and feelings.  The focus i s on how events are p e r c e i v e d by  the i n d i v i d u a l .  The researcher i s o f t e n i n d i r e c t  c o n t a c t with those i n v o l v e d i n the study (Borg & G a l l , 1989).  The purpose of t h i s research i s f i r s t t o  understand and then communicate the understanding of what i t i s l i k e f o r an adult male t o have been s e x u a l l y abused as a boy.  Q u a l i t a t i v e methods a s s i s t i n the  understanding of what others, such as adult male s u r v i v o r s of CSA,  are experiencing, and t o see the  i n d i v i d u a l i n context r a t h e r than as an i s o l a t e d v a r i a b l e (Fewell & Vadasy, 1986). Case  Study "A case study i s an e m p i r i c a l study t h a t  i n v e s t i g a t e s a contemporary phenomenon w i t h i n i t s r e a l l i f e context; when the boundaries between phenomenon and context are not c l e a r l y evident; and i n which m u l t i p l e sources of evidence are used"  (Yin, 1989,p.23).  I t i s hoped that the information and knowledge gained through t h i s study w i l l be h e l p f u l i n a s s i s t i n g  30  professionals  and men i n the process of recovery from  CSA as they address s a l i e n t theory and p r a c t i c e . this  issues with respect  It is further anticipated  to that  information w i l l be u s e f u l by way of c o n t r i b u t i n g  to a growing body of l i t e r a t u r e with respect t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s . Y i n (1989) o u t l i n e s  and addresses three  g e n e r a l l y l e v i e d at case study methodology.  criticisms The f i r s t  i s t h a t case s t u d i e s can l a c k r i g o r and are prone t o bias.  These tendencies are not however a p p l i c a b l e only  t o case s t u d i e s .  They are a l s o found i n q u a n t i t a t i v e  and experimental forms of r e s e a r c h .  The second  c r i t i c i s m i s that the case study o f f e r s generalization.  little  Y i n notes that the aim of the case  study i s t h e o r e t i c a l p r o p o s i t i o n s and not populations.  basis for  to  The t h i r d c r i t i c i s m i s that case s t u d i e s  can l e a d t o r a t h e r complex, t e d i o u s ,  reports.  This  l a t e r c h a r a c t e r i s t i c i s dependent upon the a b i l i t i e s t a l e n t s of the researcher to glean out the patterns of  findings.  essential  and  31  Chapter  III.  Methodology  This chapter d e t a i l s the methodology and procedures employed i n conducting t h i s study.  The f i r s t  d e t a i l s the w r i t e r ' s personal perspectives s i g n i f i c a n c e t o the t h i s study. presents  s e c t i o n addresses  s e c t i o n addresses  specifically  the i n t e r v i e w p r o c e s s ,  a n a l y s i s and p r e s e n t a t i o n of f i n d i n g s . final  section  The t h i r d  the i s s u e of procedure,  d e t a i l i n g subject s e l e c t i o n ,  and t h e i r  The second  an o u t l i n e of the study d e s i g n .  section  data  The f o u r t h and  the issues of r e l i a b i l i t y and  v a l i d i t y as they p e r t a i n to t h i s q u a l i t a t i v e Personal  study.  Perspective  A b a s i c tenant f o r q u a l i t a t i v e research i s t h a t  the  researcher i s the major research instrument (Spradley, 1979).  Oakley ( c i t e d i n M i s h l e r ,  1986)  believes that  the concept of "researcher and the researched as o b j e c t i v e instruments of data production be r e p l a c e d by the r e c o g n i t i o n t h a t personal involvement i s more than dangerous bias — i t i s the c o n d i t i o n under which people come to know each other and to admit others i n t o t h e i r lives."  (pg. 31.)  Therefore i t i s r e l e v a n t to d e s c r i b e  the p e r s o n a l context and perspective that I b r i n g to t h i s q u a l i t a t i v e study.  32  During my f i r s t year of graduate s t u d i e s at  the  U n i v e r s i t y of B r i t i s h Columbia i n Vancouver I worked as a Graduate Academic A s s i s t a n t i n the Student C o u n s e l l i n g and Resources Centre. responsibilities  In t h i s c a p a c i t y my  included the maintenance of  the  Resources C e n t r e ' s small l i b r a r y which i n c l u d e d a few s e l f - h e l p books on adult male s u r v i v o r s of CSA. Out of i n t e r e s t ,  I began to read a few of the books  and became c a p t i v a t e d by the i n t e n s i t y with which some of the personal accounts of sexual abuse were d e s c r i b e d . I t was not the abuse i t s e l f attention.  that caught the my  Rather, i t was the emotional and  p s y c h o l o g i c a l a f f e c t men were d e s c r i b i n g t h a t evoked my continued  somehow  interest.  My i n i t i a l reading of s e l f - h e l p  l i t e r a t u r e spawned  a d e s i r e t o continue pursuing the t o p i c as I began t o recognize i t s value with respect to r e s e a r c h .  Following  subsequent attempts to l o c a t e research with respect  to  a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse I r e a l i z e d t h a t l i t e r a t u r e i n t h i s regard was, and continues t o be, limited. I t appeared that an area of research was p r e s e n t i n g itself  and I t h e r e f o r e chose to pursue an understanding  of the i s s u e s c o n f r o n t i n g men who had been abused as  33  boys.  Throughout the endeavor to i n v e s t i g a t e  the  phenomenon of adult male s u r v i v o r s , a conscious  effort  was made t o avoid using t h i s process f o r p e r s o n a l g a i n . While I was open to c o n s i d e r i n g the impact of t h i s i n my own l i f e ,  topic  I purposed to r e t a i n o b j e c t i v i t y while  engaged i n the research process. Nonetheless,  both the p a r t i c i p a n t and the  content  of h i s s t o r y prompted a p l u r a l i t y of r e a c t i o n s f o r me. They i n c l u d e d anger surrounding his v i c t i m i z a t i o n , sadness with respect to his sense of being damaged, an i d e n t i f i c a t i o n with h i s sense of shame, anxiety as I r e l a t e d to h i s obvious struggle to r e v e a l i n t i m a t e events, i d e n t i f i c a t i o n with his struggle to confident within himself, expressed  life  feel  and i d e n t i f i c a t i o n w i t h h i s  self-doubt.  In s h o r t , I found myself r e l a t i n g to an i n d i v i d u a l l i v i n g w i t h v a r y i n g degrees of u n c e r t a i n t y and confusion with respect to himself and o t h e r s .  The reasons  surrounding h i s confusion d i f f e r from my own i n t h a t I do not r e c a l l memories of sexual abuse.  What I do  recall,  however, are memories r e l a t e d to repeated  efforts  to develop s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e  i n the midst of  peer  c r i t i c i s m and v e r b a l attacks during my elementary and high school y e a r s .  In a sense, I f e l t v i c t i m i z e d by the  34  i n d i s c r e t i o n s of others who I perceived as and without regard f o r my l i f e . developed a s e l f - o t h e r s  destructive  Consequently, I  schema i n which I became the  v i c t i m while others were e i t h e r p o t e n t i a l v i l l a i n s o r persons who c o u l d p o s s i b l y provide c o n s o l a t i o n . victim self-others  This  schema r e s u l t e d i n years of delayed  personal growth with respect to  self-confidence.  As a r e s u l t of personal c o u n s e l l i n g and a s i g n i f i c a n t degree of r e f l e c t i o n concerning the impact of others i n my l i f e ,  I came t o r e a l i z e t h a t  fostering  my v i c t i m i z a t i o n , as p a i n f u l as i t was at the time, was i n essence c o n t i n u i n g to i n h i b i t growth beyond t h a t of being a v i c t i m .  Consequently, I d i d not take  into  account the f a c t people change and t h a t I , t o o ,  was  changing as a r e s u l t of new r e l a t i o n s h i p s , p e r s o n a l m a t u r i t y , education, and increased awareness.  Moreso, I  was not t a k i n g i n t o account my personal r e s p o n s i b i l i t y for s i g n i f i c a n t l i f e  change.  In recent years I have developed a h e a l t h i e r sense of myself with respect to my s e l f - o t h e r s  schema, one  t h a t i s c h a r a c t e r i z e d by personal r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r change concurrent with empathy f o r those a f f l i c t e d by p a i n f u l l i f e events.  More s i g n i f i c a n t ,  however,  i s my  p e r s p e c t i v e that i n d i v i d u a l s v i c t i m i z e d as c h i l d r e n can  35  e i t h e r remain v i c t i m s or they can choose to move beyond victimization. approach t h i s  I t i s with t h i s perspective study.  that I  Consequently, as I was reading  about the t r a g i c l i f e events sustained by many a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of c h i l d sexual abuse,  I d i d so with  great degree of empathy concurrent with my thoughts concerning the need to move beyond v i c t i m i z a t i o n . In a d d i t i o n to the my personal reasons  f o r moving  i n t h i s p a r t i c u l a r research d i r e c t i o n , I was a l s o interested  i n the t o p i c of sexual abuse due to  nature of my work.  the  I p r e s e n t l y work as a c o u n s e l l o r  a f a m i l y s e r v i c e s agency.  for  In t h i s c a p a c i t y I provide  i n d i v i d u a l and group treatment to men i n c a r c e r a t e d i n minimum and maximum c o r r e c t i o n a l f a c i l i t i e s .  The focus  of my work i s s p e c i f i c t o v i o l e n t crimes i n c l u d i n g physical assault, murder.  sexual a s s a u l t ,  attempted murder, and  I t has been my experience to l e a r n t h a t most of  the offenders with whom I work have been e i t h e r p h y s i c a l l y or s e x u a l l y assaulted as boys, thus making the nature of t h i s study of great importance t o me i n the c o n s i d e r a t i o n of my p r o f e s s i o n a l  development.  I t i s with a combination of personal with v i c t i m i z a t i o n and commitment to  identification  professional  development t h a t I approach t h i s study.  In s h o r t ,  this  36  study r e f l e c t s  my i n t e r e s t  i n heightening awareness with  r e s p e c t t o i s s u e s surrounding adult male s u r v i v o r s of CSA.  The purpose therefore i s to i n v e s t i g a t e not only  p e r c e i v e d long-term e f f e c t s ,  but a l s o l i f e  experiences  and t h e i r meanings so as to p o s s i b l y expose unique ways i n which men have d e a l t with t h e i r childhood sexual victimization.  In so doing, a s i g n i f i c a n t  contribution  w i l l be made toward the enhancement of our understanding with respect to theory and i n t e r v e n t i o n . Design The design of t h i s study used f i e l d research methodology,  s p e c i f i c a l l y the in-depth i n t e r v i e w i n an  e f f o r t t o gather information that described the range of experiences CSA.  encountered by an adult male s u r v i v o r of  The information gathered i n t h i s study was d e r i v e d  from a p a r t i c i p a n t who had experienced CSA f o r approximately two years between the ages of ten and twelve.  In a d d i t i o n , the p a r t i c i p a n t , now t h i r t y - e i g h t ,  has been i n a s e l f - p r e s c r i b e d process of recovery f o r a number of y e a r s .  Consequently, the p a r t i c i p a n t was  r e l a t i v e l y aware of his thoughts and f e e l i n g s concerning h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n and subsequent long-term e f f e c t s . was able to a r t i c u l a t e h i s experiences  and t h e i r  He  37  meanings w i t h i n h i s range of a b i l i t y to c o n c e p t u a l i z e  in  this regard. Procedures Selection  of  Participant  Locating participants for this  study was d i f f i c u l t .  Reasons f o r the d i f f i c u l t y i n f i n d i n g  suitable  p a r t i c i p a n t s are thought to i n c l u d e fear of c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y considerations  disclosure,  by t h e r a p i s t s p r o v i d i n g  treatment to s u r v i v o r s , and a l a c k of t r u s t by those who may,  from a d i s t a n c e ,  be i n t e r e s t e d  i n a study of  this  nature. At  the outset of the study, three men volunteered  as p a r t i c i p a n t s . of  One p a r t i c i p a n t experienced the  two loved ones w i t h i n the i n i t i a l stages of  loss  the  r e s e a r c h and t h e r e f o r e withdrew h i s p a r t i c i p a t i o n . Another p a r t i c i p a n t chose to withdraw from the study f o r p e r s o n a l reasons r e l a t e d to h i s ambivalence surrounding self-disclosure  f o r the purposes of t h i s  research.  Thus,, one p a r t i c i p a n t continued to pursue the  study  w h i l e a v a i l i n g himself of the opportunity t o share  his  story. The  remaining p a r t i c i p a n t f o r t h i s  study  v o l u n t a r i l y responded to an ad placed i n the Vancouver Men's Evolvement Network J o u r n a l .  The c r i t e r i a f o r  38  s e l e c t i n g the p a r t i c i p a n t included: 1) that the a d u l t s u r v i v o r be over 18 years of age; 2) that the a d u l t s u r v i v o r was a v i c t i m o f CSA; 3) that he was able t o r e c a l l both abusive and non-abusive memories; 4) t h a t he was  able t o a r t i c u l a t e experiences and meanings  a s s o c i a t e d with having been s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d as a c h i l d ; and, 5) t h a t he was i n the process o f recovery t o the extent t h a t p a r t i c i p a t i o n i n t h i s study was not viewed as therapy. In-depth  Interview  F i e l d research i s a complex, non-programmed, i n t e r a c t i v e process that involves the researcher  and t h e  p a r t i c i p a n t i n the study with the research problem. Lofland  ( c i t e d i n M i s h l e r , 1986) describes t h e  unstructured  i n t e r v i e w as a " f l e x i b l e s t r a t e g y of  d i s c o v e r y . . . I t s object i s t o c a r r y on a guided conversation  t o e l i c i t r i c h , d e t a i l e d m a t e r i a l s t h a t can  be used i n q u a l i t a t i v e a n a l y s i s . " (pg. 27)  The in-depth  i n t e r v i e w , which forms t h e major t o o l o f t h i s i s a dialogue between the researcher wherein t h e researcher  research,  and the p a r t i c i p a n t  may formulate and t e s t hypotheses  throughout t h e process. Mischler  (1986) conceptualizes  " j o i n t l y produced discourses"  interviews as  (pg. 96).  One o f the  39  p r i n c i p l e s of t h i s research design i s r e f l e x i v i t y ,  a  c o n t i n u a l process of a n a l y s i s and review throughout the research p r o j e c t .  The f l e x i b i l i t y of t h i s  research  approach i s e s p e c i a l l y appropriate because the  stated  r e s e a r c h question i s concerned with the d i s c o v e r y of  the  range and nature of the experience and meanings of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA. Acknowledging that the s p e c i f i c  interview  procedures, d i a l o g u e , and a n a l y s i s r e l a t i v e  to  i n d i v i d u a l p a r t i c i p a n t evolves according to  the  p r i n c i p l e s of r e f l e x i v i t y as the research  progresses,  the i n t e r v i e w followed a broad general o u t l i n e i n order t o maintain a c o n t i n u i t y between the p r e l i m i n a r y i n t e r v i e w , the formal i n t e r v i e w , and follow-up discussions  (Spradley, 1979).  A preliminary interview  was h e l d so as to determine the s u i t a b i l i t y of proposed p a r t i c i p a n t .  the  The purpose of t h i s i n t e r v i e w was  t o o u t l i n e the purpose, nature, l i m i t a t i o n s , and o v e r a l l context of the study.  Included i n t h i s p r e l i m i n a r y  i n t e r v i e w was the i n t e n t i o n of e s t a b l i s h i n g rapport with the p a r t i c i p a n t while commencing the i n i t i a l  development  of t r u s t both i n myself as the researcher and i n the process of d i s c o v e r y .  The proposed p a r t i c i p a n t was  informed of h i s r i g h t s e . g . ,  h i s r i g h t to withdraw from  40  the study at any time f o r any reason, h i s r i g h t t o confidentiality,  and h i s r i g h t t o be assured t h a t  e t h i c a l c o n s i d e r a t i o n s were inherent i n a study of  this  nature. Following the completion of the p r e l i m i n a r y i n t e r v i e w and a one week time frame f o r the proposed p a r t i c i p a n t t o decide i f he would l i k e t o continue the process,  a second i n t e r v i e w occurred which was i n  a c t u a l i t y the f i r s t formal in-depth i n t e r v i e w l a s t i n g approximately two and on h a l f hours.  This i n t e r v i e w was  audio-taped and ended at the request of the p a r t i c i p a n t who f e l t t h a t enough had been shared f o r one i n t e r v i e w . A second i n t e r v i e w took place the f o l l o w i n g week so as t o continue the development of the p a r t i c i p a n t ' s story.  T h i s i n t e r v i e w l a s t e d two and one h a l f hours  d u r i n g which time the p a r t i c i p a n t completed h i s s t o r y i n f u l l up t o the present time.  Throughout the course of  these two interviews the p a r t i c i p a n t was i n v i t e d t o d e s c r i b e h i s experiences  and t h e i r meanings  associated  with having been s e x u a l l y abused as a c h i l d . In essence, the p a r t i c i p a n t served as a guide and teacher with respect t o the h i s t o r i c a l and c u r r e n t developments of h i s l i f e . focused on family l i f e ,  Broad areas of  interest  the nature and experience of  41  abuse,  r e l a t i o n s h i p to the p e r p e t r a t o r before, d u r i n g  and a f t e r the abuse, relationships.  s o c i a l f u n c t i o n i n g , and i n t i m a t e  An e f f o r t was made t h e r e f o r e  to  encourage the p a r t i c i p a n t i n the sharing of h i s experiences  and t h e i r associated meanings with  life respect  t o having been s e x u a l l y abused as a boy. The o b j e c t i v e of the interview process was gather information about his experiences Questions were therefore open-ended, questions  to  and meanings.  although some  were d i r e c t e d to probe f o r c l a r i f i c a t i o n or t o  o b t a i n completeness of i n f o r m a t i o n .  Example questions  included: What was your family l i k e growing up? Describe your r e l a t i o n s h i p to family members. Describe your r e l a t i o n s h i p to your f a t h e r before,  during and f o l l o w i n g the  abuse.  What e f f e c t d i d the abuse have on your t h i n k i n g and your emotions? How has the abuse impacted your l i f e ? How has the abuse impacted your r e l a t i o n s h i p s ? Describe your thoughts and f e e l i n g s while being abused. Describe what you have learned as a r e s u l t of having been abused.  42  What does i t mean for you to have s u r v i v e d childhood sexual  victimization?  How would l i f e be d i f f e r e n t  had you not been  s e x u a l l y abused as a boy? What impact has sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n had on the development of your  sexuality?  What does i t mean for you to be i n recovery? As p r e v i o u s l y mentioned,  the d u r a t i o n of  the  combined interviews was approximately f i v e hours i n length.  Following the interviews  a t r a n s c r i p t was  developed and given to the p a r t i c i p a n t to r e a d .  The  i n t e n t i n having the p a r t i c i p a n t read the t r a n s c r i p t was t o seek c l a r i f i c a t i o n , a d d i t i o n a l responses, and w r i t t e n feedback so as to add to the sources of i n f o r m a t i o n . Analysis A p o r t r a i t d e s c r i p t i o n based on the process was developed as defined i n the chapter.  interview following  T h i s p o r t r a i t reveals the perceptions  a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of sexual abuse. p r i n c i p l e s of r e f l e x i v i t y ,  of  the  According to  the  the p o r t r a i t was then  v a l i d a t e d with the p a r t i c i p a n t i n a follow-up  interview  w i t h the o b j e c t i v e of f u r t h e r c l a r i f y i n g and e n r i c h i n g the p o r t r a i t .  43  The  p o r t r a i t and follow-up i n t e r v i e w were both  analyzed and studied i n d e t a i l i n order to e s t a b l i s h a g r e a t e r degree of c l a r i t y with respect to experiences  the  and meanings associated with c h i l d sexual  victimization.  The experiences  and meanings of  the  p a r t i c i p a n t are t h e r e f o r e discussed i n the context of themes t h a t arose during the i n t e r v i e w s , of  the  development  the p o r t r a i t , and p a r t i c i p a n t feedback.  Results A d e s c r i p t i o n and c r i t i c a l a n a l y s i s was in  developed  response to the s e l f - o t h e r s schema and l i f e themes  t h a t emerged during the course of the i n t e r v i e w s .  The  d e s c r i p t i o n and c r i t i c a l a n a l y s i s are intended to p r o v i d e information f o r the purpose of enhancing insight,  knowledge,  and the development of a t h e o r e t i c a l  c o n s t r u c t f o r both p r o f e s s i o n a l s It i s  and s u r v i v o r s of CSA.  f u r t h e r a n t i c i p a t e d that t h i s research w i l l make a  s i g n i f i c a n t c o n t r i b u t i o n to a growing body of specific  t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of CSA. Reliability  Of of  literature  and V a l i d i t y  Issues  concern to q u a l i t a t i v e research are the  r e l i a b i l i t y and v a l i d i t y .  issues  Y i n (1989) e x p l a i n s  the case study t e s t s appropriate f o r measuring the c r e d i b i l i t y of q u a l i t a t i v e research a r e :  construct  that  44  validity,  i n t e r n a l v a l i d i t y , e x t e r n a l v a l i d i t y , and  reliability.  Yin further details  a number of t a c t i c s  be employed throughout the case study process so as  to  to  maintain research c r e d i b i l i t y . Construct  Validity  Construct v a l i d i t y deals with the soundness of study through the establishment measures  of c o r r e c t o p e r a t i o n a l  f o r the concepts being s t u d i e s .  i d e n t i f i e d three t a c t i c s  the  to manage t h i s  Y i n (1984) has issue.  The f i r s t t a c t i c i s the use of m u l t i p l e sources  of  evidence i n a manner encouraging convergent l i n e of inquiry.  A c r i t i c i s m of t h i s study c o u l d be found i n  r e l a t i o n t o a l a c k of m u l t i p l e sources encouraging a convergent l i n e of i n q u i r y . reflects  While t h i s case study  the l i f e of only one i n d i v i d u a l , i t  nonetheless important f o r three First,  is  reasons.  inherent i n t h i s research focus was the  i s s u e of l a c k of a v a i l a b i l i t y of p a r t i c i p a n t s .  I t was  s i g n i f i c a n t that as a r e s u l t of enquiry concerning the a v a i l a b i l i t y of p a r t i c i p a n t s that only three men appeared t o be w i l l i n g t o even consider t h e i r involvement i n a study of t h i s nature.  potential  Following the  withdrawal of two p a r t i c i p a n t s , the study was l e f t  with  one i n d i v i d u a l who committed himself f o r the d u r a t i o n of  45  the p r o c e s s .  I t i s the p o s i t i o n of t h i s study t h a t  f i n d i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s who were w i l l i n g to  disclose  information concerning t h e i r childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n was c h a l l e n g i n g . In a d d i t i o n , a c o n s i d e r a t i o n exceeding importance of the f i r s t ,  the  i s the f a c t of t h i s study being  ground breaking research with respect to d e s c r i b i n g the experiences  and meanings of adult male s u r v i v o r s of CSA.  Consequently, the research i s understood as being r e v e l a t o r y i n nature ( Y i n , 1994).  The research i s  r e v e l a t o r y i n the sense that i t i s concerned with how a CSA s u r v i v o r viewed h i s l i f e experiences  and meanings  as  opposed t o previous research p r i m a r i l y focusing on symptomatology,  long-term e f f e c t s ,  demographics,  p r e v a l e n c e , and coping mechanisms. I t i s t h e r e f o r e the p o s i t i o n of t h i s study t h a t one case study was s u f f i c i e n t  to develop an i n i t i a l sense of  the i s s u e s c o n f r o n t i n g an adult male s u r v i v o r of CSA as he attempted to i d e n t i f y and e x t r a p o l a t e a s s o c i a t e d with h i s experiences,  meanings  and whether or not  something of s i g n i f i c a n c e would r e s u l t from the r e s e a r c h process.  The case study i s therefore worth conducting  because the d e s c r i p t i v e information alone w i l l be r e v e l a t o r y ( Y i n , 1994).  46  The  second t a c t i c  involves e s t a b l i s h i n g a c h a i n of  evidence t h a t c l e a r l y l i n k s the i n d i v i d u a l case p o r t r a i t and of  the general d i s c u s s i o n to the s p e c i f i c the p a r t i c i p a n t .  experiences  This was managed through c a r e f u l  c r o s s r e f e r e n c i n g of the i n d i v i d u a l i n t e r v i e w d a t a .  In  a d d i t i o n , the p a r t i c i p a n t was i n c l u d e d i n ongoing discussions  while the findings were being developed  so  as t o continue i n the maintenance of c l a r i t y and accuracy of i n f o r m a t i o n . Finally,  the t h i r d t a c t i c i s the reviewing of  the  n a r r a t i v e with the p a r t i c i p a n t to f u r t h e r v a l i d a t e  the  results. of  this  This formed an i n t e g r a l p a r t of the  procedures  study.  Internal  Validity  I n t e r n a l v a l i d i t y i s only r e l e v a n t to s t u d i e s attempt t o e s t a b l i s h casual r e l a t i o n s h i p s , explanatory i n nature ( Y i n , 1994).  that  ones t h a t  Therefore, t h i s  i s not appropriate f o r t h i s study since i t  are test  is  d e s c r i p t i v e i n nature and makes no attempt to e x p l a i n or e s t a b l i s h causal External  relationships.  Validity  E x t e r n a l v a l i d i t y deals with the of  the study to the l a r g e r p o p u l a t i o n .  examines the range of experiences  generalizability As t h i s  study  and meanings of  adult  47  male s u r v i v o r s of CSA, an a n a l y t i c g e n e r a l i z a t i o n was developed which describes the r e s u l t s of t h i s study and provides a b a s i s  f o r comparison f o r other s i m i l a r  s t u d i e s l e a d i n g t o a deeper understanding of experiences  and meanings.  the  This study presents  one  account of a p a r t i c u l a r set of experiences  and meaning.  As Y i n (1994) i n d i c a t e s ,  not  automatic.  generalization is  Theories must be t e s t e d through r e p l i c a t i o n  of the f i n d i n g s i n other s i m i l a r s t u d i e s . Reliability The o b j e c t i v e of the r e l i a b i l i t y t e s t i s establish that,  to  i f a l a t e r researcher followed  exactly  the same procedure and conducted e x a c t l y the same study, the l a t e r study would produce the same r e s u l t s and c o n c l u s i o n s as the c u r r e n t study.  As the personal  experience of the researcher and the i n d i v i d u a l nature of the p a r t i c i p a n t i s such an important p a r t of r e s e a r c h process,  the  and because the i n t e r v i e w process  so u n s t r u c t u r e d , the l i k e l i h o o d of ever r e p l i c a t i n g t h i s study i s very low.  is  exactly  Here the approach  t o d e a l i n g with the r e l i a b i l i t y issue has to be, as Y i n (1989) s t a t e s , to conduct the study "as i f someone were always l o o k i n g over your shoulder" (pg. 45).  In the  absence of another person observing the a c t u a l r e s e a r c h  48  p r o c e s s , e s p e c i a l l y the i n t e r v i e w s and  follow-up  d i s c u s s i o n s w i t h the p a r t i c i p a n t , t h i s r e q u i r e s the r e s e a r c h e r t o e x p l i c i t l y acknowledge h i s assumptions, b i a s e s and p e r s p e c t i v e s .  Only by complete d i s c l o s u r e of  thoughts and process and s y s t e m a t i c r e c o r d i n g of t h e progress  of the study i n a l l d e t a i l can a measure of  study r e l i a b i l i t y be  achieved.  49  Chapter  IV.  Portrait  Case of  Portrait  Willy  W i l l y i s a 38 year o l d s i n g l e Caucasian male c u r r e n t l y l i v i n g i n a small town i n the i n t e r i o r o f B r i t i s h Columbia.  Born i n Ottawa, Ontario, W i l l y  spent  most of h i s growing up years i n and around Toronto he was 18.  He moved t o B r i t i s h Columbia  until  approximately  twenty years ago i n an e f f o r t t o d i s t a n c e himself from " f a m i l y expectations a s s o c i a t e d with being f i r s t  born."  P r e s e n t l y , W i l l y works i n the h o s p i t a l i t y i n d u s t r y and f i n d s "pleasure i n outdoor r e c r e a t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s " d u r i n g h i s spare time. When asked t o comment on h i s childhood, W i l l y r e c a l l e d h i s f a m i l y as being "very poor and f r e q u e n t l y i n a s t a t e of t r a n s i t i o n due t o my f a t h e r ' s v a r i o u s employment o p p o r t u n i t i e s . " He r e c a l l e d a few o f t h e i r residences as being i n f e s t e d with mice, and t h a t he and h i s two brothers and two s i s t e r s would o c c a s i o n a l l y capture the mice i n an e f f o r t t o be rewarded with s i p s of beer from t h e i r mother. W i l l y r e c a l l e d amicable r e l a t i o n s h i p s with h i s brothers and s i s t e r s i n the midst of o c c a s i o n a l s i b l i n g rivalries. neighborhood  He f r e q u e n t l y played road hockey with other boys during which time arguments emerged i n  50  the event of a l l e g a t i o n s  concerning u n f a i r p l a y .  While  he remembers arguing with h i s playmates, W i l l y a l s o r e c a l l e d himself as being a q u i e t boy who, f o r the most part,  stuck to  himself.  W i l l y was 10 when one of h i s younger brothers d i e d from complications associated with a hole i n h i s one t h a t had been present since the time of h i s  heart, birth.  This unfortunate i n c i d e n t i s understood by W i l l y as f i r s t of many s i g n i f i c a n t  the  l i f e events impacting l o n g -  term d i r e c t i o n s f o r both he and h i s f a m i l y .  I t was  just  p r i o r t o and f o l l o w i n g the death of W i l l y ' s brother t h a t h i s p a r e n t ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p evidenced signs of deterioration.  W i l l y ' s mother was d r i n k i n g i n access  while h i s f a t h e r became immersed i n the development of his  career. For approximately two years f o l l o w i n g the death of  t h e i r b r o t h e r , both W i l l y and his remaining brother were repeatedly s e x u a l l y abused by t h e i r f a t h e r .  Willy  s t a t e d t h a t he c o u l d not "remember the f i r s t time f a t h e r abused both me and my b r o t h e r .  I t happened f o r  two years between ages ten and twelve." t h a t what h i s f a t h e r d i d was "sexual,  his  He r e c a l l e d  o r a l at f i r s t " and  t h a t f o r the longest time he "just pretended t o be asleep."  He f u r t h e r stated that "I d i d n ' t f e e l  very  51  good. of  I f e l t sad and bummed out because of the  conflict  interest." W i l l y remarked that "I d i d n ' t know what c o n f l i c t  i n t e r e s t meant at the time. myself afterwards."  ,1 f e l t disgusted with  W i l l y ' s i n i t i a l ambivalence was  r e l a t e d to the "release, the orgasm. very p l e a s u r e f u l .  of  The orgasm was  I t was r e a l l y strange."  Willy  f u r t h e r s t a t e d t h a t "here i s my f a t h e r g i v i n g me g i v i n g me - you know - he r a i s e d me, s o r t of guided me with r u l e s and r e g u l a t i o n s ,  very s t r i c t .  And yet at  the  same time he'd be coming i n at night and doing these things.  I mean he would j u s t walk i n . "  W i l l y i n d i c a t e d that the sexual abuse would u s u a l l y happen "late at n i g h t , around three i n the morning."  He  would sometimes "wake up to f i n d somebody j e r k i n g me off.  At the same time I would be having t h i s  great  pleasure f e e l i n g and then r e a l i z e that - fuck - I d i d n ' t know what fuck was - and I ' d j u s t keep my eyes c l o s e d and t r y and p u l l away." In some instances W i l l y r e c a l l e d being abused while " l a y i n g on my back."  He i n d i c a t e d that during these  times "my father would grab me on my hips and would t r y and p u l l me over and I would r e s i s t because I d i d n ' t want t o .  When I c o u l d n ' t r e s i s t  any longer my f a t h e r  52  would j u s t p u l l me too hard and take advantage of  his  size." W i l l y then r e c a l l e d "just l o o k i n g at the w a l l .  I  d o n ' t know i f i t was a creature or what i t was but  it  was a great b i g c i r c l e .  It  I t was l i k e an elephant.  was a huge happy shape and i t was round l i k e a c h a r a c t e r i n a book. describe i t .  And there was t h i s f e e l i n g .  I can't r e a l l y  I t was a very safe place and I ' d l e t  it  grow bigger and I t h i n k I would l e t myself go i n t o  it  and l e t myself disappear." W i l l y s t a t e d that as time went on h i s f a t h e r became more ambitious as r e f l e c t e d i n his e f f o r t to take W i l l y t o bed i n t h e i r r e c r e a t i o n room.  I t was during  this  p e r i o d of time toward the end of the two year p e r i o d of abuse t h a t W i l l y became i n c r e a s i n g l y confused with r e s p e c t to h i s r o l e i n r e l a t i o n to h i s f a t h e r .  He began  t o wonder i f he should r e c i p r o c a t e h i s f a t h e r ' s  actions.  W i l l y s t a t e d that "one time I touched my f a t h e r ' s penis and s a i d to myself  'wow - t h i s i s r e a l l y f u c k e d ' . "  W i l l y r e c a l l e d being " r e a l l y upset and r e a l l y turned off."  In the f i n a l i n c i d e n t of the abuse,  Willy  i n d i c a t e d t h a t he "threw o f f the bed covers" while  his  f a t h e r "took h i s foot and j u s t kicked me o f f the bed. At the time i t hurt but I thought what a r e l i e f . "  53  Both during and f o l l o w i n g the sexual abuse, n o t i c e d a number of changes i n himself, his parents.  Willy  h i s b r o t h e r and  S p e c i f i c a l l y , Willy recalled his  r e l a t i o n s h i p with his brother as becoming more v e r b a l l y and p h y s i c a l l y aggressive.  In a d d i t i o n , W i l l y suggested  t h a t "my mother knew what was going on i n the sense t h a t she drank a l o t . "  W i l l y f e e l s that h i s mother's  d r i n k i n g was i n response to an "unhealthy marriage and the l a c k of power she f e l t concerning my f a t h e r ' s a c t i o n s with h i s sons."  W i l l y stated that "I  felt  p i s s e d o f f toward my mother because she c o u l d have done something - she c o u l d have phoned somebody." W i l l y a l s o r e c a l l e d "something I held on t o f o r a long time.  I j u s t buried i t deep.  when I was about twelve.  And I touched the l i t t l e  the baby who I was b a b y s i t t i n g . never babysat there a g a i n . out.  I was b a b y s i t t i n g girl,  They found out and I  Even t o t h i s day i t bums me  And t h a t ' s what upsets me.  I got r e a l l y upset  when we were t a l k i n g about people t a k i n g advantage of other people."  W i l l y i d e n t i f i e d t h i s i n c i d e n t as  only one time t h i s happened.  I g r i e v e over my a c t i o n s ,  e s p e c i a l l y knowing what my father d i d t o me and my brother."  "the  54  During the next few years W i l l y a l i g n e d h i m s e l f with h i s f a t h e r ' s demands and expectations with r e s p e c t t o t a k i n g care of h i s brother and s i s t e r s .  His f a t h e r  became f r e q u e n t l y absent from the home and consequently pressured W i l l y i n t o assuming p a r e n t a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s such as t a k i n g h i s s i b l i n g s t o church on Sundays.  Willy  r e c a l l e d f e e l i n g that he had no a l t e r n a t i v e but t o y i e l d to his father's w i l l . of entrapment.  Consequently, W i l l y f e l t a sense  On the one hand, he had knowledge of h i s  f a t h e r ' s abusive a c t i o n s , while on the other hand, he f e l t powerless i n that "I had no where t o go. know who t o t a l k t o .  I didn't  I d i d n ' t want t o be l a b e l l e d as  being gay i f anyone found out." During the time of W i l l y ' s t r a n s i t i o n i n t o high s c h o o l W i l l y r e c a l l e d "beginning t o evolve i n a sense. I n o t i c e d t h a t I became i n s u l t i n g of other people and t h a t I had the i n s i g h t and a b i l i t y t o hurt people.  I  d i d n ' t have any boundaries with g i r l s and I l o s t a l o t of f r i e n d s h i p s because of a l a c k of boundaries.  I  d i d n ' t have any sense of commitment or f a i t h f u l n e s s friends.  I never t o l d anyone about the abuse.  to  I just  kept i t t o myself." While i n high school W i l l y r e c a l l e d becoming homophobic.  "I was questioning my s e x u a l i t y and became  55  homophobic b i g time, r e a l l y b i g time.  I would c r a c k  homophobic jokes and i n s u l t someone i f I knew they were gay.  I never r e a l l y understood my own s e x u a l i t y .  never r e a l l y had a sense of what that was. what was going on at home was wrong. how wrong i t r e a l l y was. homosexual was w e i r d . considered homosexual. felt  right.  I knew t h a t  I j u s t d i d n ' t know  My f r i e n d s thought t h a t being  What my father was doing was It didn't feel r i g h t .  I d i d n ' t know.  make any sense.  I  I was too young.  It  never  It didn't  I d i d n ' t know what the p h y s i c a l  f e e l i n g s were, the emotional f e e l i n g s ,  the s p i r i t u a l  feelings." W i l l y ' s parents separated toward the end of high school y e a r s .  his  Consequently, W i l l y ' s younger  s i s t e r s went t o l i v e with t h e i r mother.  W i l l y was given  the choice to l i v e with his father or to move out on h i s own.  W i l l y chose to l i v e on h i s own and, a t the  request  of h i s f a t h e r , assumed r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r h i s b r o t h e r . W i l l y s t a t e d that l i v i n g on h i s own with h i s b r o t h e r was a "better choice than to l i v e with an a l c o h o l i c o r an abuser." W i l l y ' s l i v i n g arrangement with h i s brother l a s t e d f o r a b r i e f p e r i o d of time f o l l o w i n g which he decided t o move t o B r i t i s h Columbia.  Following h i s a r r i v a l  in  56  Vancouver W i l l y l i v e d with his father f o r the f i r s t months.  few  W i l l y ' s father had r e l o c a t e d there only a short  time e a r l i e r .  "I view t h i s as the beginning of  f o l l o w my f a t h e r p a t t e r n .  Its  the  no coincidence t o me t h a t  I moved t o B r i t i s h Columbia to r e - e s t a b l i s h my r e l a t i o n s h i p with my f a t h e r . " While l i v i n g with his father W i l l y n o t i c e d himself becoming " i n c r e a s i n g l y h o s t i l e toward my f a t h e r .  I t was  a mistake t o always be around an abuser, and I was always reminded of the abuse every time I saw him.  I  s t a r t e d t o break away from my father and I began t o t h i n k t h a t I wanted to change what happened to me and t o change who I became." Now i n h i s e a r l y twenties, W i l l y decided to d i s t a n c e himself from h i s father and consequently moved to Whistler.  For the next four or f i v e years W i l l y  immersed himself i n "seasonal p a r t i e s , cocaine and a c i d .  jobs, l o t s of sex,  l o t s of  I s t a r t e d to hang out with  people who were l i k e s u b s t i t u t e parents, people who were o l d e r than me.  I wrote a l o t i n my j o u r n a l s and began  w r i t i n g poetry." I t was during W i l l y ' s W h i s t l e r years t h a t  his  mother d i e d due t o complications a s s o c i a t e d with her alcoholism.  W i l l y chose not t o r e t u r n to Ontario f o r  57  her f u n e r a l because he d i d not want t o face o r i n t e r a c t with h i s r e l a t i v e s .  He r e c a l l e d f e e l i n g sad as a r e s u l t  of never t a l k i n g to her about his abuse.  He continued  t o q u e s t i o n whether or not she was aware of h i s  father's  a c t i o n s while wondering why she d i d nothing t o intervene. Following h i s time i n W h i s t l e r , W i l l y moved back t o Vancouver f o r a job o p p o r t u n i t y .  During t h i s p e r i o d of  time W i l l y r e c a l l e d "getting i n t o a l o t of d r i n k i n g , unhealthy d r i n k i n g .  I d i d n ' t have a b i g s o c i a l c i r c l e ,  only a few f r i e n d s .  My work l i f e i n c r e a s e d .  I reached  a management p o s i t i o n at MacDonalds followed by a management p o s i t i o n at Chuck-E-Cheeze." As a s u p e r v i s o r at Chuck-E-Cheeze, W i l l y o c c a s i o n a l l y dated a few of h i s female s t a f f  members.  U l t i m a t e l y , due t o i n d i s c r i m i n a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h h i s female subordinates concurrent with what he d e f i n e s "emotional and p h y s i c a l burnout", W i l l y was f i r e d  as  from  h i s managerial r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s . W i l l y understood t h i s p e r i o d of h i s l i f e as  the  c u l m i n a t i o n of having l i v e d many years i n d e n i a l . C h a r a c t e r i z e d by what he defined as "obsessive and e r r a t i c r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women" along with "excessive d r i n k i n g and marijuana", W i l l y came t o conclude t h a t "I  58  needed someone to t a l k t o .  I was p h y s i c a l l y t i r e d ,  e m o t i o n a l l y exposed and my income dropped t o unemployment."  In s h o r t , W i l l y claimed t h a t i t was  d u r i n g t h i s p e r i o d of time that he decided t o h i s sexual  address  abuse.  P r i o r to engaging i n an e f f o r t to address sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , W i l l y acknowledged t h a t  his although  he appeared t o be s e l f - d i r e c t e d and s e l f - s u f f i c i e n t , was aware of a "profound sense of emptiness, knowing and a p p r e c i a t i n g who I was, feel  grounded w i t h i n myself.  i n c e r t a i n areas of my l i f e  he  a l a c k of  and an i n a b i l i t y t o  I s t a r t e d to r e a l i z e  that  I was s t i l l ten years o l d ,  eleven years o l d , twelve years o l d , you know,  fourteen."  In 1988 W i l l y l i v e d with a woman f o r a year who "accepted me r i g h t o f f the b a t . vegetarian,  not a smoker.  She accepted me how I was.  l o t of people don't accept me. then.  She grounded me - yoga,  I was r e a l l y s e n s i t i v e  I took a l o t of things d e f e n s i v e l y ,  But t h i s woman j u s t amazed me.  personally.  She turned me onto  j o u r n a l s and d i f f e r e n t books and d i f f e r e n t s t a r t e d c l e a n s i n g my body.  A  I q u i t smoking  ideas.  And I  cigarettes."  W i l l y i d e n t i f i e d t h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p as being p i v o t a l w i t h respect t o h i s developing sense of himself as w e l l as h i s growing b e l i e f  i n the l e g i t i m a c y of  his  59  perspectives  i n r e l a t i o n to h i s abuse, the f a c t t h a t he  was abused.  In essence, W i l l y r e c a l l e d t h i s woman as  v a l i d a t i n g h i s s t o r y as w e l l as h i s l i f e i n g e n e r a l . A p p a r e n t l y , t h i s woman's s i s t e r worked i n a h e l p i n g p r o f e s s i o n and suggested that W i l l y seek c o u n s e l l i n g through a l o c a l s o c i a l s e r v i c e s  agency f o r abuse i s s u e s  as w e l l as t h a t of being a c h i l d of an a l c o h o l i c . Consequently, W i l l y made contact with North Shore S o c i a l S e r v i c e s i n an e f f o r t t o t a l k with a c o u n s e l l o r about h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  He was aware t h a t  f a t h e r had remarried and had another son. concern f o r the w e l l - b e i n g f o r himself,  Out of  his his  as w e l l as  that  of the c h i l d , W i l l y reported h i s sexual abuse to a counsellor.  The c o u n s e l l o r apparently i n d i c a t e d t h a t  there was no evidence to take a c t i o n with respect Willy's  to  father.  Following W i l l y ' s l i m i t e d i n t e r a c t i o n s with North Shore S o c i a l S e r v i c e s , he decided to v i s i t h i s  father  and h i s new wife f o r the purpose of c o n f r o n t i n g h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . abused me.  "I wanted to t a l k about why he  I t wasn't happening and he d i d n ' t want t o  t a l k about i t .  I was pussy f o o t i n g around and I wasn't  being very d i r e c t .  L i k e , he's my f a t h e r .  He's the guy  who brought me up and he's the guy who abused me.  60  T h a t ' s the dynamic.  I'm the son and he's the f a t h e r and  u n t i l he d i e s I t h i n k t h a t ' s when i t w i l l r e a l l y be over f o r me." "So I went over there and he and h i s wife d i d n ' t know what was happening.  I wasn't angry at my f a t h e r  d u r i n g t h i s p e r i o d of time.  So we sat downstairs and I  t a l k e d t o them f o r about an hour and they were both l i k e , my f a t h e r c o u l d n ' t b e l i e v e that here I was c o n f r o n t i n g him and at the same time t e l l i n g h i s new wife.  F i n a l l y I got up and had to  leave."  "And I got on my bike and, uh, I have moments i n my l i f e where I can r e c o l l e c t where my heart or my s p i r i t is  j u s t s o a r i n g so high and that was j u s t one of those  moments when I got on my b i k e .  I don't know how f a s t I  drove and I wasn't out of c o n t r o l and I wasn't out of touch.  I f e l t l i k e I was on another p l a i n and a b i g  burden was r e a l l y l i f t e d o f f me.  And i t was l i k e I went  parachuting f o r the f i r s t time and jumped o u t . l i k e - wow - I s t a r t e d s i n g i n g .  I t was  I was j u s t so happy."  W i l l y suggested t h a t nothing r e a l l y came of c o n f r o n t a t i o n i n s o f a r as the development of  this  his  r e l a t i o n s h i p with h i s father was concerned, and t h a t f a t h e r remained a l o o f .  his  However, he understood the  c o n f r o n t a t i o n as being p i v o t a l with respect to h i s own  61  sense of d i r e c t i o n .  Following t h i s i n c i d e n t ,  and upon  e n t e r i n g h i s mid t h i r t i e s , W i l l y saw himself as "coming t o terms with l i f e around me.  I was beginning to  r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r my actions and beginning t o  accept  see  myself as a good person, whereas before I always  felt  l i k e I d i d n ' t have any boundaries and that I was d i r t y somehow, or that I had to hide." In an e f f o r t to address h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , W i l l y began t o w r i t e i n journals to keep a r e c o r d of occurrences both h i s t o r i c a l and present. w r i t e because I was i n t e r e s t e d  in  "I began t o  self-discovery."  During t h i s p e r i o d of time, W i l l y accessed sexual  abuse  c o u n s e l l i n g at an a l c o h o l and drug r e h a b i l i t a t i o n centre i n Vancouver.  As a r e s u l t of c o u n s e l l i n g which l a s t e d  f o r approximately ten s e s s i o n s , W i l l y learned about unresolved anger, g r i e f ,  and l o s s i n r e l a t i o n t o  his  f a t h e r and mother. In a d d i t i o n to i n d i v i d u a l therapy, W i l l y was encouraged t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n a men's group. therapists  have a l l been female.  because there were men t h e r e . pretty cool.  "My  I was t e n t a t i v e  But I went and i t was  I t was r e a l l y u p l i f t i n g but I knew I  wanted t o be back with my female  therapist."  62  Consequently, W i l l y returned to h i s t h e r a p i s t who i n t u r n d i r e c t e d him toward s e l f - h e l p  literature.  "My t h e r a p i s t gave me a beginning and a r e a l l y good background of reading m a t e r i a l .  The Courage To Heal  Workbook and some other reading m a t e r i a l .  So I was  t o help myself and t h a t ' s an aspect t h a t I always as soon as I s a i d no to my father t h a t was the t h a t I c o u l d help myself.  able  felt,  point  I t j u s t takes a long time."  In a d d i t i o n to W i l l y ' s t h e r a p i s t c o n t r i b u t i n g t o his self-discovery,  "changing friends" a l s o "guided"  W i l l y toward a greater depth of personal awareness and direction.  He defined t h i s t r a n s i t i o n as "looking at  the world d i f f e r e n t l y and looking at myself differently."  My f r i e n d s were i n t o a l t e r n a t i v e  i n the sense that they weren't mainstream. meaning t o me that they weren't conservative with how the world i s today.  thinking  Mainstream and happy  And I s t a r t e d t a l k i n g t o  people t h a t would l i k e to change w i t h i n themselves.  If  you c a n ' t change the world, then you can make change within yourself.  I was becoming a h e l l of a l o t more  tolerant." In one of W i l l y ' s recent endeavors with r e s p e c t fostering  self-discovery,  to  W i l l y had the o p p o r t u n i t y t o  p a r t i c i p a t e i n an adult male s u r v i v o r s men's group i n  63  Vancouver.  Following an unsuccessful  attempt  to  p a r t i c i p a t e i n the group, W i l l y found an e d i t i o n of  the  Men's Evolvement Network j o u r n a l e n t i t l e d "Thunderstick" i n which an ad sought p a r t i c i p a n t s f o r the purpose of r e s e a r c h i n g adult male s u r v i v o r s of sexual  abuse.  Consequently, W i l l y met with the researcher of  the  proposed study so as to determine whether or not he wanted to p a r t i c i p a t e i n a study addressing i s s u e s with respect t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s .  Following the  completion of the information meeting with the researcher followed by a phone c a l l t o the U n i v e r s i t y of B r i t i s h Columbia's C o u n s e l l i n g Psychology Department t o confirm the study, W i l l y chose to p a r t i c i p a t e .  He d i d  so out o f h i s d e s i r e t o make h i s s t o r y a c c e s s i b l e f o r the purpose of research and p r a c t i c e .  "I came t o  l a s t page and your ad was there and I thought, i s an avenue that I've always been i n t e r e s t e d  the  hey,  this  i n and i t s  more mono/mono which i s something that I can handle." P r e s e n t l y , W i l l y f e e l s that there i s a need i n h i s l i f e t o f o r g i v e h i s father f o r the sexual abuse. have t o f o r g i v e my father because i t s with my anger.  a p a r t of  "I dealing  I'm s t a r t i n g t o recognize I have t o  he i s a l s o a person, and that he has had something on i n h i s l i f e as w e l l . "  see going  In a d d i t i o n , W i l l y understands  64  t h a t c e r t a i n areas of h i s l i f e must be acknowledged i n o r d e r t o continue h i s personal growth. "I f e e l  l i k e I've been screwed up f o r a long time.  I s t i l l s t r u g g l e with what the abuse means t o me. t r y i n g t o l e a r n from i t . influences others,  Its the f i b r e of my l i f e .  It  where I'm at as f a r as when I converse with  and where I'm at with my s t r u g g l e s .  struggle,  I'm  This i s my  and now I'm t r y i n g to t u r n i t i n t o an  opportunity." "I'm l e a r n i n g to make healthy choices homophobia, to admit questions  - t o admit  about my s e x u a l i t y ,  to  admit t h a t I d i d n ' t l i k e what happened to me, and t o f i n d people who w i l l l i s t e n to me.  Sometimes I  l i k e a puppy chasing i t s t a i l a l l the time. feel  feel  Sometimes I  l i k e my world i s f a l l i n g apart although I know i t s  not, but t h a t ' s how i t f e e l s . I t was l i k e , someone would say look up, and I ' d s t a y . slow down, i t s than myself,  Maybe not so much now. 'sit'  and I ' d s i t ,  I'd  The greater s p i r i t helps me t o  l i k e an i n v i s i b l e means, a f o r c e higher  p o s s i b l y from other people."  With respect to homophobia and questions his sexuality,  concerning  W i l l y was quick to p o i n t out t h a t "I  d o n ' t f e e l homosexual.  I am not homosexual, not gay.  understand the feminine side and f e e l more t r u s t w i t h  I  65  women than with men. sexuality.  I f e e l comfortable with my  Men are too narrow f o r me, e s p e c i a l l y when  we t a l k about f e e l i n g s and emotions and c r e a t i v e o u t l e t s and s t u f f l i k e t h a t . " R e c e n t l y , W i l l y experienced a sexual encounter with two other i n d i v i d u a l s , one male and one female.  He  i d e n t i f i e s t h i s experience as being "pretty cool" as a r e s u l t of being i n bed with both a man and a woman.  He  r e c a l l s the woman g e t t i n g up t o use the washroom and t h a t he and the man were "just being i n each others arms.  I was i n h i s arms and i t was okay.  It f e l t ,  it  sounds d i s j o i n t e d , but I remember l a y i n g there and she went t o the washroom and we j u s t held each other and t h a t was k i n d of n i c e , l a y i n g side by s i d e , we weren't chest t o c h e s t .  I don't t h i n k I would be comfortable  chest t o chest". W i l l y suggested that "in the l a s t couple of years I ' v e been f e e l i n g comfortable touching males, l i k e ' h i , how are you' s o r t of t h i n g . me I j u s t go 'hold i t , that.  Or when a male would touch  stop i t ' ,  but now I'm okay with  L i k e I'm c l e a r now that men c o u l d l i k e me.  Like  now I understand how men could l i k e other men, l i k e not from s l e e p i n g together but j u s t i n the l a s t few years  66  now I understand t h a t .  So t h i s whole experience  was  important to me." When asked to c l a r i f y the impact of c h i l d sexual abuse on h i s l i f e ,  W i l l y c l a r i f i e d t h a t " i t was  a f f e c t i n g me i n d i f f e r e n t ways, my r e l a t i o n s h i p s people.  My innocence,  with  my v i r t u e , my d i g n i t y , my  v i r g i n i t y both p h y s i c a l l y and emotionally were s t r i p p e d away at a v u l n e r a b l e and tender time of my l i f e . eroded a sense of wholeness.  It  I t took away any sense of  congruence I might have had between s p i r i t , mind, emotions,  soul,  and body."  Upon r e f l e c t i n g over h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p with h i s f a t h e r , W i l l y claimed that "I've never f e l t a fundamental sense of a f f i r m a t i o n from my f a t h e r . Someone was t a k i n g advantage of t h e i r power and t e l l you i t s sense t o me. power.  I'11  r e a l l y scary because i t d i d n ' t make any I'm 38 years o l d and t h i s person has  He fucked me up t o t a l l y .  The abuse w i l l never  r e a l l y be over u n t i l the day I d i e and then i t s The abuse stops with me.  this  over.  T r y i n g to f i g u r e i t out takes  up a fucking b i g chunck of my time and emotions." T h i s past year W i l l y received a l e t t e r  from h i s  f a t h e r i n d i c a t i n g his f a t h e r ' s d e s i r e to communicate. At p r e s e n t ,  and with r e l u c t a n c e , W i l l y has yet t o  decide  67  if  he w i l l r e - e s t a b l i s h some form of communication.  The  i s s u e at stake f o r W i l l y i s h i s commitment t o p e r s o n a l boundaries c h a r a c t e r i z e d by h i s u n c e r t a i n t y with r e s p e c t to his father's  intent.  When asked t o comment on h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h women f o l l o w i n g h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , W i l l y  stated  t h a t "when I went t o k i s s a g i r l I d i d n ' t have a c l e a n s l a t e t o go w i t h .  When I t a l k e d to my f r i e n d s about  women I d i d n ' t have a c l e a n s l a t e a g a i n , I d i d n ' t f r e s h and I sensed that from them. s i n g l e person but I f e l t that.  went c r a z y .  Not from every  I was at a disadvantage i n  I had l o t s of negatives  what t o do with them.  feel  i n s i d e and I d i d n ' t know  I f e l t that my whole  sexuality  I ended up having no boundaries".  W i l l y understands himself as having been through a s e r i e s of r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women c h a r a c t e r i z e d by a l a c k of personal boundaries.  "They would come on t o me  and I would l e t them do what ever they wanted.  I had no  sense of j u s t how t o be a guy and j u s t t r y and t a l k t o women and j u s t go out with them.  I t j u s t seemed t h a t I  d i d n ' t understand that i t takes a p e r i o d of time essence of j u s t go with i t .  When my father abused me he  j u s t came i n and d i d his t h i n g and then he l e f t . think that's  that  how I learned how to be.  You go with  So I  68  someone and do your t h i n g and they do t h e i r t h i n g and then you l e a v e .  T h a t ' s j u s t how things went."  W i l l y s t a t e d that he only has had one with a woman that has l a s t e d a y e a r . me mental.  relationship  "It r e a l l y makes  This r e l a t i o n s h i p j u s t ended again the same  type of way.  I'm not sure i t s  happening t o me.  a normal t h i n g t h a t ' s  Women put the moves on me and i t would  go both ways and t h a t ' s the pattern - t h e r e ' s no fence there". Consequently, W i l l y understands himself t o be missing something i n the midst of frequent attempts t o establish  l a s t i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women.  l o t of fun and i n t r i g u e and a l o t of very events and adventures. missing.  But there i s s t i l l  I'm missing involvement.  "I've had a  interesting something  I think i t  was  appealing when a woman thought I was a t t r a c t i v e , f o r my ego.  good  But I never had the experience of l e a r n i n g  how t o d e a l with my f e a r s , who to go and t a l k t o .  I've  wanted someone to r e a l l y care f o r me and t h a t I c o u l d share w i t h .  A r e l a t i o n s h i p i s something t h a t I want but  I keep p u t t i n g i t  off".  69  Chapter  V.  Reflections  On Case  Study  Introduction The purpose of t h i s chapter i s t h r e e - f o l d .  First,  emergent themes i n the context of s t a t e d l i f e events and meanings are i d e n t i f i e d and summarized.  Secondly,  p e r s o n a l r e a c t i o n s to the p a r t i c i p a n t and the content his disclosures  are presented.  of  T h i r d l y , a suggested  c o n c l u s i o n i n the context of a t h e o r e t i c a l c o n s t r u c t  is  i d e n t i f i e d i n an e f f o r t to conceptualize the d a t a . Themes C e n t r a l to the nature and purpose of t h i s study was the r e v e l a t i o n of W i l l y ' s s i g n i f i c a n t t h e i r perceived meanings.  l i f e events and  Emerging from W i l l y ' s  d i s c l o s u r e s were themes c h a r a c t e r i z e d by problematic p e r s o n a l and i n t e r p e r s o n a l i s s u e s . for  A common denominator  each emergent theme appeared to be t h a t of CSA.  In  s h o r t , W i l l y i d e n t i f i e d CSA as the antecedent t o most, if  not a l l , of h i s presenting concerns with respect  himself and o t h e r s .  to  Consequently, W i l l y understood the  f o l l o w i n g areas of h i s l i f e as having been a d i r e c t consequence  of CSA: sexual i d e n t i t y  confusion;  homophobia; ambivalence toward men; estrangement  from  f a t h e r ; u n s a t i s f y i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women; f e a r of i n t i m a c y ; and, movement toward recovery.  70  Sexual  Identity  Confusion  Although W i l l y i d e n t i f i e d himself as being heterosexual, significant  he claims to have experienced a  degree of sexual i d e n t i t y  r e s u l t i n g from CSA.  confusion  W i l l y suggested that h i s i n i t i a l  confusion was rooted i n c o n f l i c t i n g p h y s i c a l and emotional r e a c t i o n s toward his father during and f o l l o w i n g the abuse.  Concurrent with the i n i t i a l  t e n s i o n he experienced surrounding his  father's  behaviour was the i n f l u e n c e of W i l l y ' s emerging homophobia spawned p r i m a r i l y by the i n f l u e n c e of  his  childhood peer group. Consequently, W i l l y distanced himself  from the  idea  t h a t he, t o o , might be homosexual as a r e s u l t of being s e x u a l l y v i c t i m i z e d by another male.  However,  remained concerning the degree to which W i l l y  confusion felt  normal with respect to h i s emotional and p h y s i c a l r e a c t i o n s toward men and women. suggests t h a t  "I am not g a y . . . " .  Presently,  Willy  The i s s u e of  i d e n t i t y confusion appears to remain, however, of  sexual i n terms  seeking t o understand normal and/or healthy  i n t e r p e r s o n a l "boundaries" between himself and persons of  either  gender.  71  Homophobia W i l l y i d e n t i f i e d h i s homophobia as being generated by h i s sexual abuse t r a n s p i r i n g i n concert with peer group p r e s s u r e , thus f o s t e r i n g c r i t i c i s m toward homosexuals,  homosexual bahaviour, and anyone who  appeared t o be what one might t h i n k as gay.  stereotypically  As a r e s u l t of l a b e l l i n g h i s sexual abuse as  homosexual, W i l l y reacted to h i s abuse by developing and m a i n t a i n i n g an overt d i s r e g a r d f o r anything r e l a t e d t o homosexuality.  W i l l y suggested that h i s homophobia has  evolved i n the sense t h a t he i s able to t o l e r a t e and p o s s i b l y even understand how men c o u l d be a t t r a c t e d  to  other men. Estrangement  From  Father  Throughout W i l l y ' s story was the ongoing theme of h i s s t r a i n e d r e l a t i o n s h i p with his f a t h e r .  From the  time of the abuse W i l l y f e l t a departure from any closeness t h a t may have e x i s t e d i n h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p with h i s f a t h e r p r i o r to the p e r i o d of time during which the abuse took p l a c e .  The apparent struggle emerged i n the  form of confusion surrounding h i s f a t h e r ' s a c t i o n s  that  impressed him as being discontinuous with previous interactions.  Even more confusing and disempowering was  72  the i m p o s i t i o n of p a r e n t a l r e s p o n s i b i l t i e s life  on W i l l y ' s  i n the absence of both parents f o r v a r i o u s  reasons.  W i l l y understands his move to the west coast as being an attempt to r e - e s t a b l i s h some form of r e l a t i o n s h i p with h i s father who had p r e v i o u s l y moved t o B.C.  Willy identifies  t h i s as "the f o l l o w my f a t h e r  pattern" i n which he has attempted on at l e a s t two or three occasions  t o engage h i s father i n dialogue  concerning the abuse.  His father a l l e g e d l y  remains  d i s t a n t and a l o o f except f o r t h i s past year when W i l l y received a l e t t e r  from h i s Dad i n d i c a t i n g h i s  i n d i s c u s s i n g the p a s t .  interest  P r e s e n t l y , W i l l y i s i n the  process of r e l u c t a n t l y c o n s i d e r i n g h i s request,  somewhat  f e a r f u l of making himself vulnerable to an o r a l exchange of  thoughts  Ambivalence  and  feelings.  Toward  Men  Since the time of his abuse W i l l y claimed t o have remained d i s t a n t from men.  He suggested t h a t  c a p a c i t y t o t r u s t men i s very low.  his  Willy further  i n d i c a t e d t h a t h i s abuse somehow spawned an understanding of what he i d e n t i f i e d as the s i d e t o himself".  "feminine  When asked t o c l a r i f y h i s  comments  with respect t o h i s feminine s i d e , W i l l y f e l t t h a t he  73  was able t o r e l a t e more e a s i l y to the emotions of women than he c o u l d to the emotions of men. W i l l y suggested that men have d i f f i c u l t y i n s h a r i n g t h e i r emotions and that most men are unable to r e l a t e h i s experience of abuse.  W i l l y , therefore,  limits  to  his  involvement with men while focusing h i s a t t e n t i o n on women who demonstrate the c a p a c i t y to r e l a t e to abuse,  his  not to mention the impact the abuse has had on  his l i f e .  Consequently, most of W i l l y ' s f r i e n d s  are  women. Unsatisfying  Relationships  with  Women  W i l l y suggested that he has not had a r e l a t i o n s h i p with a woman l a s t i n g more than one y e a r .  Most of  his  r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women have been b r i e f and c h a r a c t e r i z e d by what he i d e n t i f i e d as a l a c k of "boundaries".  When asked to comment on what he meant  with respect to a l a c k of boundaries, W i l l y i n d i c a t e d t h a t he would e i t h e r j u s t l e t women "come on to me", o r , that  "I would j u s t come on t o a woman" without regard  f o r her p o s s i b l e  involvement with anyone e l s e .  Willy  suggested i t was unimportant to him whether or not  the  r e l a t i o n s h i p developed i n t o anything other than being sexual.  74  W i l l y understood his l a c k of a personal boundaries with women t o be r e l a t e d to h i s sexual abuse i n t h a t  his  f a t h e r demonstrated a d i s r e g a r d f o r W i l l y ' s freedom of c h o i c e and preference concerning sexual  activity.  Consequently, W i l l y claims to have developed a s i m i l a r p a t t e r n of r e l a t i n g to women although he does not understand h i s r e l a t i o n a l s t y l e i n t h i s regard t o be abusive. Fear  of  Intimacy  C e n t r a l to W i l l y ' s account of l i f e events and t h e i r meanings was the recurrence of h i s fear of intimacy with both men and women.  W i l l y suggested that he never had  the experience of l e a r n i n g how to d e a l with h i s f e a r of intimacy.  Consequently, he frequently wondered who he  c o u l d t a l k t o about the content and process of h i s  life.  W i l l y claimed to have wanted someone to care f o r him, someone with whom he could confide i n the context of an intimate r e l a t i o n s h i p .  I n t e r e s t i n g l y enough, W i l l y has  remained d i s t a n t with respect t o ongoing i n t i m a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p s with men and women. Movement  Toward  Recovery  W i l l y suggested that he made e f f o r t s recovery.  toward  I t would appear t h a t these e f f o r t s  have been  both formal and informal depending on W i l l y ' s p e r s o n a l  75  and i n t e r p e r s o n a l circumstances junctures.  Informal e f f o r t s  at various  life  toward recovery were  understood by W i l l y as having contact with people who held a l t e r n a t i v e world views and l i f e s t y l e  choices.  Many of these i n d i v i d u a l s were s a i d t o have provided acceptance  and a f f i r m a t i o n , both of which were l a c k i n g  i n W i l l y ' s formative y e a r s .  Formal e f f o r t s  recovery were s a i d to be i n d i v i d u a l therapy, with the North Shore S o c i a l S e r v i c e s ,  toward contact  and involvment  with a Vancouver A l c o h o l and Drug r e h a b i l i t a t i o n When asked to comment on the meaning of  centre.  recovery,  W i l l y i n d i c a t e d t h a t recovery was g a i n i n g a sense of being grounded w i t h i n himself,  to develop an  understanding of the degree to which sexual abuse affected  his l i f e ,  to abandon h i s fear of i n t i m a c y ,  work through the anger he f e e l s toward h i s f a t h e r ,  to to  l e a r n more about healthy r e l a t i o n s h i p s with men and women, and to be a peace with Personal  himself. Reactions  Introduction T h i s s e c t i o n addresses my personal r e a c t i o n s W i l l y and h i s s t o r y .  to  I t i s a n t i c i p a t e d that an  understanding of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA w i l l be f u r t h e r developed and c l a r i f i e d .  The f o l l o w i n g  76  comments, t h e r e f o r e , are s p e c i f i c t o one i n d i v i d u a l and are not intended as g e n e r a l i z a t i o n s . That W i l l y was s e x u a l l y abused as a boy f o r a p e r i o d of approximately two years i s abhorrent.  That  both he and h i s brother were c o n c u r r e n t l y abused by t h e i r father i s ,  f o r most, unimaginable.  W i l l y viewed  h i s d i s c l o s u r e of abuse f o r research purposes t o be a s i g n i f i c a n t p a r t of h i s recovery.  Consequently, the  i n t e n s i t y with which he spoke during the i n t e r v i e w s and f o l l o w - u p d i s c u s s i o n s was r e a d i l y apparent, as was the degree t o which W i l l y protected his emotions. This c r i t i c a l a n a l y s i s acknowledges i n d i v i d u a l s such as W i l l y who are r e c i p i e n t s of unfortunate events.  Making sense of l i f e events while attempting t o  determine t h e i r meaning i s , challenging. life,  life  f o r many, extremely  The degree t o which CSA a f f e c t e d  for. i n s t a n c e , may never be understood i n  Willy's full.  The need t o maintain empathy toward those a f f l i c t e d by the i n d i s c r e t i o n s of others cannot be o v e r s t a t e d .  The  need t o examine b a r r i e r s t o overcoming a f f l i c t i o n , however, i s of great n e c e s s i t y i n the c o n s i d e r a t i o n of efficacious  intervention.  77  Subject's  Research  Commitment  W i l l y impressed me as being genuinely committed t o the r e s e a r c h purpose and process with respect  to  examining an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of c h i l d sexual  abuse.  This was demonstrated by h i s i n i t i a l p o s i t i v e enquiry concerning the nature of purpose of the study, by  h i s commitment to the study throughout i t s  followed duration.  W i l l y understood and respected the l i m i t a t i o n s of  the  study i n t h a t i t was not intended f o r t h e r a p e u t i c purposes. Subject's The  Story  o f Abuse  trustworthiness of W i l l y ' s s t o r y was not  questionable.  I f requested, W i l l y was w i l l i n g t o  provide names of t h e r a p i s t s ,  agencies, f r i e n d s , and  f a m i l y members i n an e f f o r t to confirm the his disclosures.  authenticity  I t was found that W i l l y ' s s t o r y of  sexual abuse and i t s e f f e c t s ,  not to mention the manner  i n which i t was communicated, remained constant throughout the study.  In s h o r t , both W i l l y and h i s  s t o r y impressed me as being c r e d i b l e . Subject's As  Oral  Presentation  i s r e f l e c t e d i n the t r a n s c r i p t d e r i v e d from the  i n - d e p t h i n t e r v i e w s , W i l l y presented as one who s t r u g g l e d t o b r i n g his thought processes to  identifiable  78  conclusions.  Consequently, the fragmented and s c a t t e r e d  nature of W i l l y ' s o r a l p r e s e n t a t i o n during the necessitated  numerous follow-up d i s c u s s i o n s  interview  either  in  person o r over the phone. W i l l y acknowledged h i s tendency to t e l l within stories.  Some s t o r i e s  f a i l e d t o provide  c o n c l u s i o n s , whereas other s t o r i e s degree of c l a r i t y and c l o s u r e .  stories  reflected a greater  More often than n o t ,  the  s t o r i e s most d i r e c t l y r e l a t e d t o h i s experience of sexual abuse f a i l e d to present s u b s t a n t i a l  conclusions  i n s o f a r as t h e i r meanings were concerned.  W i l l y once  suggested t h a t h i s fragmentation might a l s o r e f l e c t my i n a b i l i t y o r l a c k of experience with respect  to  o r c h e s t r a t i n g productive i n t e r v i e w s . Subject's  Lifestyle  W i l l y ' s frequent r e s i d e n t i a l moves concurrent with numerous and d i v e r s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s r e f l e c t e d a s i g n i f i c a n t degree of t r a n s i e n c e .  W i l l y impressed me as  having i n i t i a t e d and/or p a r t i c i p a t e d i n l i v i n g environments and r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n which the l o n g e v i t y of h i s commitment to people and places was l i m i t e d . apparently at ease with h i s l i f e s t y l e  While  c h a r a c t e r i z e d by  frequent t r a n s i t i o n s , W i l l y suggested t h i s  particular  p a t t e r n developed i n h i s e f f o r t to search out r e s o l u t i o n  79  with r e s p e c t to h i s abuse, his  specifically  in relation  to  father.  Subject's  Relational  Style  In a d d i t i o n to frequent geographical and interpersonal transitions,  W i l l y impressed me as  s e l e c t i v e l y seeking persons who would understand h i s experience in  of abuse while v a l i d a t i n g i t s  his l i f e .  ramifications  Conversely, i n the event that persons were  u n w i l l i n g or incapable of a f f i r m i n g both he and h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , W i l l y impressed me as one who would abandon dialogue and/or r e l a t i o n s h i p with such individuals.  I heard him s t r o n g l y evaluate those who  were unable to meet his expectations with r e s p e c t  to  a p p r e c i a t i n g and a f f i r m i n g his v i c t i m i z a t i o n and r e s u l t i n g l i f e s t y l e choices and p a t t e r n s . By way of i l l u s t r a t i o n , points were r a i s e d d u r i n g the course of the in-depth interviews c l a r i f i c a t i o n was requested.  f o r which  On a few occasions W i l l y  remarked t h a t I could not r e a l l y understand and t h a t d i d n ' t r e a l l y matter as i t was only he who needed understand.  it  to  Consequently, the ethos of W i l l y ' s  p r e s e n t a t i o n during these i n t e r a c t i o n s d e s c r i b e d as detached and r e s i s t a n t .  could be In s h o r t ,  I  felt  80  cut o f f as a r e s u l t of not having experienced  sexual  abuse. Subject's  Limited  Sense  of  Meaning  I t was d i f f i c u l t t o extrapolate the meanings a s s o c i a t e d with W i l l y ' s CSA and subsequent  experiences.  W i l l y ' s aforementioned detachment and r e s i s t a n c e may have been r e l a t e d to a l a c k of personal i n - d e p t h awareness.  W i l l y suggested that i t was c h a l l e n g i n g f o r  him t o t e l l h i s s t o r y due to my gender, and t h a t I was one of the few males with whom he has confided with r e s p e c t t o h i s abuse.  The degree to which my gender  impacted W i l l y ' s d i s c l o s u r e s o r l a c k thereof i s unknown. W i l l y ' s sense of meaning associated with  life  events was t h e r e f o r e observed as being w i t h h e l d , p o s s i b l y due to my gender, o r , delayed with respect  to  h i s emotional awareness coupled with l i m i t e d c o g n i t i v e formation r e s u l t i n g i n a l a c k of c l a r i t y and i n s i g h t . The most prominent sense of meaning W i l l y  associated  with CSA emerged i n the form of cause and e f f e c t .  In  s h o r t , W i l l y claimed t h a t his personal and i n t e r p e r s o n a l confusion developed as a r e s u l t of CSA. I n t e r e s t i n g l y enough, W i l l y a r t i c u l a t e d c e r t a i n meanings s p e c i f i c to his abuse that emerged i n the of long-term e f f e c t s ,  ones that were c o n s i s t e n t  form  with  81  those appearing i n both research and literature.  self-help  W i l l y ' s sense of meaning, however,  was  l i m i t e d t o the i d e n t i f i c a t i o n of these e f f e c t s .  He  impressed me as being f r u s t r a t e d i n h i s e f f o r t e l a b o r a t e beyond t h e i r i d e n t i f i c a t i o n and the  to belief  t h a t these e f f e c t s were d i r e c t l y r e l a t e d to h i s  sexual  victimization. Conclusion Introduction The purpose of t h i s study was t o explore and examine an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA i n an e f f o r t  to  shed l i g h t on a phenomenon that has experienced l i m i t e d research.  Current theory suggests that men who were  s e x u a l l y abused as boys may experience such as d e p r e s s i o n ,  increased l e v e l s of  long-term e f f e c t s anxiety,  homophobia, sexual i d e n t i t y c o n f u s i o n , a l c o h o l and drug abuse,  f e a r of intimacy, and an underlying l a c k of  i n authority figures.  trust  U n t i l r e c e n t l y , most of these  long-term e f f e c t s have been derived from s t u d i e s p r i m a r i l y concerning women.  Most studies c i t e the  f o r i n c r e a s e d research with respect t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of sexual  abuse.  T h i s study found that the research p a r t i c i p a n t i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s of CSA c o n s i s t e n t with  need  82  those c i t e d i n c u r r e n t research l i t e r a t u r e .  However,  the focus of the study was that of examining the l i f e of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA i n an e f f o r t t o explore h i s sense of meaning associated with c h i l d  sexual  v i c t i m i z a t i o n and subsequent l i f e events.  It is within  t h i s context,  therefore,  that the f o l l o w i n g remarks are  presented. I t was observed t h a t W i l l y ' s sense of meaning with r e s p e c t t o CSA and l i f e experiences was l i m i t e d t o cause and e f f e c t .  U l t i m a t e l y , his sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n  r e s u l t e d i n a l i f e c h a r a c t e r i z e d by t u r m o i l and confusion.  This observation i s rooted i n one of W i l l y ' s  most poignant statements. screwed up f o r a long time. the abuse means t o me. Its  "I f e e l l i k e I've  I s t i l l s t r u g g l e with what  I'm t r y i n g to l e a r n from i t .  the f i b r e of my l i f e .  I t influences where I'm at as  f a r as when I converse with o t h e r s , with my s t r u g g l e s .  been  and where I'm at  This i s my s t r u g g l e ,  and now I'm  t r y i n g t o t u r n i t i n t o an o p p o r t u n i t y . " I t would appear t h a t W i l l y elevated h i s CSA t o degree t h a t i t became the " f i b r e of my l i f e " ,  the  resulting  i n the maintenance of a p a t t e r n of t h i n k i n g and behaving c h a r a c t e r i z e d by h i s sense of v i c t i m i z a t i o n wherein the more obvious problematic long-term e f f e c t s were  easily  83  identified.  I t would a l s o appear that W i l l y ' s p a t t e r n  of t h i n k i n g and behaviour has been r e s i s t a n t  to  s i g n i f i c a n t change, thereby e l i m i n a t i n g the  possibility  of becoming something other than a v i c t i m .  Finally,  W i l l y ' s v i c t i m i z a t i o n appears to f u n c t i o n as a way of life A  r a t h e r than an obstacle to overcome.  Theoretical  Construct  A recent t h e o r e t i c a l construct i s suggested i n an effort  to provide a lens through which to make sense of  the p r e s e n t i n g d a t a .  S p e c i f i c a l l y , Leahy (1991) i n  S c r i p t s i n C o g n i t i v e Therapy hypothesizes  life  scripts  i n which people l i v e out a p a r t i c u l a r drama i n the context of h i s or her i n t e r p e r s o n a l w o r l d .  Life  scripts  suggest t h a t some i n d i v i d u a l s maintain a negative cognitive  set and a d y s f u n c t i o n a l p a t t e r n of behaviour,  both of which are r e s i s t a n t therefore,  to change.  Life  scripts,  are defined as a set of expectations and  p r e d i c t i o n s contained i n the r o l e s of a drama. Consequently, l i f e  s c r i p t s seek to maintain a w e l l  developed system wherein the protagonist s i g n i f i c a n t v a l i d a t i o n from other p l a y e r s . life  s c r i p t s i s the consistency  experiences Central  to  of each p l a y e r ' s  character i n j u s t i f y i n g resistance  to change due t o  negative impact of the p r o t a g o n i s t ' s  unfortunate  the  past.  84  Leahy (1991) suggests that a l i f e intuitive,  s c r i p t i s an  i n d u c t i v e , and s e l f - p r e s e r v i n g t h e o r y ,  that i s resistant  to d i s c o n f i r m a t i o n .  therefore unlike s c i e n t i f i c  one  S c r i p t s are  p r o p o s i t i o n s which lend  themselves to c l e a r h y p o t h e t i c a l constructs and operational definitions. self-preserving First, instance,  A s c r i p t i s thought to be  f o r a number of  reasons.  s c r i p t s are i n t u i t i v e and vague.  the h y p o t h e t i c a l c o n s t r u c t ,  subjective  For  "victim",  is  i n t h a t i t i s a matter of moral or e t h i c a l  judgment as t o whether or not one i s t r e a t e d u n f a i r l y . Secondly, the t e s t of "victim" i s d i f f i c u l t disconfirm.  to  "Victim" i s viewed as a d i s p o s i t i o n and i t  i s t h e r e f o r e not e s s e n t i a l  to be a v i c t i m t o q u a l i f y as  a victim. Third,  i n d i v i d u a l motives of the p a r t i c i p a n t s may  be questioned and therefore p o t e n t i a l l y d i s c o n f i r m i n g evidence i s discounted as a cover or an e x c e p t i o n . F o u r t h , the s c r i p t holder attends to and s e l e c t i v e l y r e c a l l s information c o n s i s t e n t with the s c r i p t , thus script is self-preserving.  Finally,  scriptholders  c o n s t r u c t the i n t e r a c t i v e r e a l i t y t h a t confirms t h e i r s c r i p t by e n l i s t i n g others to play a script-game with  the  85  them which i n essence i n the s e l f - f u l f i l l i n g prophecy of the s c r i p t h o l d e r (Leahy, 1991). Leahy (1991) proposes the f o l l o w i n g developmental schema i n an e f f o r t t o i d e n t i f y the e t i o l o g y of a  life  s c r i p t : 1) t h a t the i n d i v i d u a l ' s conception of s e l f  and  others i s determined by the e a r l y development of schemas; 2) t h a t these schemas lead t o a search f o r information  theory-driven  c o n s i s t e n t with the schema;  t h a t these schemas are formed at the l e v e l of i n t e l l i g e n c e and  preoperational  are t h e r e f o r e  i n t u i t i v e , morally a b s o l u t i s t i c , and  3)  dichotomous,  egocentric;  4)  that  compensates f o r t h i s v u l n e r a b i l i t y by attempting t o  turn  these schemas focus on v u l n e r a b i l i t y , e s p e c i a l l y attachment i s s u e s ; and,  himself  5) that the i n d i v i d u a l  i n t o the opposite of the schema.  Other c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of l i f e s c r i p t s and s c r i p t h o l d e r s i n c l u d e : 1) the s e l e c t i o n of  historical  information  the  c o n s i s t e n t with the s c r i p t ; 2)  sabotaging of i n t e r v e n t i o n s by the s c r i p t h o l d e r ; 3)  the  s c r i p t h o l d e r ' s s e l e c t i o n of a t h e r a p i s t r e s u l t i n g i n the v a l i d a t i o n of the s c r i p t ; and,  4) the  scriptholder's  l a c k of awareness with respect  to s i g n i f i c a n t l i f e  events t h a t could have r e s u l t e d i n another n a r r a t i v e which, i f brought t o the awareness of the  scriptholder,  86  would confront the i n d i v i d u a l with the p o s s i b i l i t y of change (Leahy, 1991). The  a n a l y t i c a l task, t h e r e f o r e , becomes the  examination of an i n d i v i d u a l ' s c o n s t r u c t i o n of  reality  r e s u l t i n g i n an i n t e r p e r s o n a l world that i n essence proves the s c r i p t t o be c o r r e c t .  One  must t h e r e f o r e  step o u t s i d e the egocentric perspective of the schema i n t o the i n t e r p e r s o n a l n a r r a t i v e of the s c r i p t .  In  other words, the s c r i p t h o l d e r decenters from the  script  t o understand how  h i s or her schema i n f l u e n c e s  t h i n k i n g and behaviour of s e l f and others  the  (Leahy,  1991). Suggested  Application  Leahy (1991) i d e n t i f i e s the v i c t i m s c r i p t as one  of two  s c r i p t s ( a c q u i s i t o r n a r c i s s i s t being  other) t h a t presents  being  the  r e s i s t a n c e t o change.  C h a r a c t e r i s t i c of a v i c t i m s c r i p t i s the c a l l i n g on of others t o v a l i d a t e the s c r i p t h o l d e r ' s s u f f e r i n g , thus reducing  the p o s s i b i l i t y of change.  Leahy suggests that the v i c t i m ' s assumptions p e r t a i n t o low f r u s t r a t i o n t o l e r a n c e and ( " i t ' s awful that I f e e l bad", bad"), entitlement  awfulizing  "I should never f e e l  ("Since I had a bad childhood,  I  deserve b e t t e r treatment now"), demands f o r sympathy,  87  and  blame ("I shouldn't have to work at my problems,  because others are the cause of them", "Someone should be blamed i f there are problems", "You should l i s t e n my complaints and take them s e r i o u s l y " ) . therefore, and  to  The v i c t i m ,  assumes l i t t l e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r the problem  consequently b e l i e v e s there i s nothing he or she can  do t o s o l v e i t .  Suggestions  t o the c o n t r a r y are viewed  as signs of i n s e n s i t i v i t y and r e j e c t i o n . Leahy (1991) a l s o suggests that there are important advantages to the v i c t i m i n the p r e v i o u s l y mentioned assumptions. attention, and  The v i c t i m can o b t a i n sympathy and  r e l i e f of r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , be allowed t o blame  punish o t h e r s , become morally s u p e r i o r t o the  who t r e a t him or her u n f a i r l y , engage i n s e l f - p i t y ,  people and  a v o i d r e g r e t s over attempted behaviours r e s u l t i n g i n failure.  Leahy f u r t h e r suggests that the s c r i p t h o l d e r ' s  apparent p a s s i v i t y i s an e f f e c t i v e competitiveness  mask f o r  being r e f l e c t e d i n h i s or her  resistance  t o change. In the context of Leahy's (1991) theory with respect to l i f e s c r i p t s ,  i t i s hypothesized t h a t W i l l y ,  as a v i c t i m and s u r v i v o r of CSA, developed and maintained a l i f e s c r i p t c h a r a c t e r i z e d by v i c t i m i z a t i o n wherein h i s i n t e r a c t i o n s with others functioned toward  88  the v a l i d a t i o n of h i s l i f e i n a l l t h a t i t meant f o r him t o be a v i c t i m .  In so doing, h i s v i c t i m l i f e  rooted i n assumptions spawned by sexual (entitlement,  script,  abuse  blaming, demands f o r sympathy,  enabled him to maintain a v i c t i m n a r r a t i v e .  etc), This i n  t u r n r e s u l t e d i n r e s i s t a n c e to change. With respect t o the development of W i l l y ' s v i c t i m cognitive set,  i t would appear that W i l l y came to view  h i s world as being unsafe f o l l o w i n g the unfortunate event of h i s sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  Concurrent with h i s  developing view of the world and o t h e r s , W i l l y  is  thought t o have elevated h i s sexual abuse to the  degree  t h a t i t became an a l l consuming l i f e event, one t h a t would i n f l u e n c e the present outcome of h i s l i f e . therefore,  Life,  became an event to survive based i n a v i c t i m  schema, r e s u l t i n g i n h i s e f f o r t to f i n d others who would listen,  affirm,  and v a l i d a t e h i s  experience.  With respect to h i s i n t e r p e r s o n a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s , W i l l y presented as g r a v i t a t i n g toward those who were sympathetic and a f f i r m i n g of h i s experience of sexual abuse, p r i m a r i l y women.  I t i s thought  t h a t W i l l y was threatened by those seeking t o  child therefore present  a l t e r n a t i v e ways i n which to view h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n , not t o mention h i s l i f e i n g e n e r a l .  In s h o r t ,  Willy  89  presented as being s k e p t i c a l and r e s i s t a n t toward i n d i v i d u a l s and circumstances i n c o n s i s t e n t with h i s drama of v i c t i m i z a t i o n . His movement toward recovery i s thought t o be s c a t t e r e d and u n i n t e n t i o n a l ; s c a t t e r e d i n the sense t h a t therapy t r a n s p i r e d i n a t r a n s i e n t manner, u n i n t e n t i o n a l i n t h a t h i s movement toward recovery appeared t o l a c k d i r e c t i o n rooted i n i d e n t i f i e d g o a l s .  W i l l y spoke of  wanting t o be grounded, to be at peace with h i m s e l f , f o r g i v e h i s f a t h e r , and to make himself a v a i l a b l e others working through s i m i l a r circumstances.  to  to  His  e f f o r t i n t h i s r e g a r d , however, appeared to be without c o n s t r u c t i v e plans toward t h i s end. hypothesized, t h e r e f o r e ,  It is  further  that W i l l y sabotaged  his  movements toward recovery by engaging i n short term and ineffective  treatment m o d a l i t i e s .  In summary, i t i s proposed that the meaning W i l l y attached t o h i s CSA and subsequent l i f e  experiences  surfaced i n the form of v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  In essence,  CSA became paramount to the degree t h a t i t i n f l u e n c e d h i s b e l i e f system, others,  and h i s i n e f f e c t i v e  his  adversely  h i s behaviour toward  movements toward r e c o v e r y .  That W i l l y a t t r i b u t e d h i s CSA to a l l problematic areas in his l i f e reflects  a l i m i t e d scope of understanding  90  w i t h r e s p e c t t o the e t i o l o g y of p e r s o n a l interpersonal confusion.  and  91  Chapter  VI.  Discussion  Introduction This chapter addresses the f i n d i n g s of t h i s The in  f i r s t s e c t i o n summarizes the f i n d i n g s of the  study. study  the context of the emergent issues of the r e s e a r c h  participant.  The f o l l o w i n g sections o u t l i n e some of  the  l i m i t a t i o n s as w e l l as t h e o r e t i c a l and p r a c t i c a l i m p l i c a t i o n s of the study.  Finally,  suggestions are  proposed f o r future r e s e a r c h . Findings This study explored the experiences  and meanings of  an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA. A case study approach i n the form of an i n - d e p t h interview focused on one s u r v i v o r ' s experiences  and s u b j e c t i v e  interpretations  with respect to h i s childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . was found t h a t the s u r v i v o r , W i l l y , elevated h i s  It  sexual  v i c t i m i z a t i o n to the degree that i t adversely permeated all  aspects of h i s  life.  W i l l y t h e r e f o r e c i t e d CSA as being the primary cause f o r the development of s p e c i f i c problematic themes.  These themes included sexual  confusion,  life  identity  homophobia, ambivalence toward men,  estrangement  from h i s f a t h e r , u n s a t i s f y i n g  relationships  92  with women, fear of intimacy, and movements toward recovery. I t was then proposed that W i l l y ,  s i n c e the time of  h i s abuse, developed and maintained a l i f e s c r i p t o r drama wherein he, as the p r o t a g o n i s t , remained victimized.  I t was f u r t h e r suggested t h a t W i l l y ' s  v i c t i m r o l e spawned his search f o r persons,  primarily  women, t o a f f i r m h i s s e l f - o t h e r s schema, one t h a t was c h a r a c t e r i z e d by the nurturing of h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n r e s u l t i n g i n the delay of s i g n i f i c a n t l i f e change. q u e s t i o n t h e r e f o r e remains concerning W i l l y ' s of  t h i s p a r t i c u l a r l i f e s c r i p t as opposed t o  The  selection alternative  schemas such as that of r i s i n g above h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n . Limitations  Of The Study  This study was confronted by various l i m i t a t i o n s . The  most obvious l i m i t a t i o n i s that i t was a s i n g l e  study.  The p o t e n t i a l richness of data cross  was t h e r e f o r e e l i m i n a t e d . of  case  referencing  Consequently, the examination  one research p a r t i c i p a n t f o r f e i t e d the p o s s i b i l i t y of  generalizations. E s t a b l i s h i n g a research hypothesis  for this  study  i s understood as being both a l i m i t a t i o n and an a s s e t . Previous research with respect to a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of  CSA was extremely l i m i t e d .  This r e f l e c t s  either a  93  l a c k of awareness concerning the phenomenon, o r ,  the  continued assumption that the long-term e f f e c t s of  child  sexual abuse f o r men are not d i s s i m i l a r to those experienced by women. constructs  Furthermore, t h e o r e t i c a l  s p e c i f i c to a d u l t male s u r v i o v r s were  also  absent from most research studies of t h i s nature.  As a  r e s u l t of these obvious l i m i t a t i o n s suggested r e s e a r c h d i r e c t i o n s were sparse. T h i s study, t h e r e f o r e ,  took advantage of  the  o p p o r t u n i t y to simply examine the l i f e of a s u r v i v o r i n an e f f o r t t o shed l i g h t on a phenomenon that appears t o have been neglected by r e s e a r c h . t h i s study, t h e r e f o r e , limitation.  The broad nature of  could be understood as  Conversely, the i n v e s t i g a t i v e  nature of  t h i s study could be viewed as an asset i n t h a t  the  genesis of t h e o r e t i c a l constructs unique t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s might be developed. Another l i m i t a t i o n of the study was W i l l y ' s p r e s e n t a t i o n of l i f e experiences.  oral  As p r e v i o u s l y  mentioned, W i l l y ' s p a t t e r n of communication c o u l d be d e s c r i b e d as fragmented and somewhat i n a r t i c u l a t e .  It  was t h e r e f o r e very c h a l l e n g i n g to a s c e r t a i n and e x t r a p o l a t e meaning w i t h i n the confines of communication p a t t e r n .  his  When asked to f u r t h e r c l a r i f y  94  life  experiences and t h e i r meanings subsequent t o  in-depth interview,  the  W i l l y presented l i m i t e d i n f o r m a t i o n  and i n s i g h t i n a manner c o n s i s t e n t with h i s o r i g i n a l disclosures,  thus confirming my i n i t i a l  impressions.  Conversely, I was l i m i t e d i n the sense t h a t my personal v a l u e s ,  world schemas, and biases i n h i b i t e d t o  the degree t o which W i l l y ' s meanings were recognized and understood.  I t i s probable that W i l l y , to a degree t h a t  I was unaware, suggested meanings i n language and phrases unique to h i s own s t y l e of communication and understanding. chapter,  As p r e v i o u s l y mentioned i n an e a r l i e r  I approached t h i s study with my own i s s u e s with  r e s p e c t to s i g n i f i c a n t unfortunate l i f e  l i f e change subsequent t o  events.  It i s possible,  therefore,  that the lenses through  which I experienced W i l l y were f u r t h e r t a i n t e d by my belief  t h a t v i c t i m s often c a p i t a l i z e on t h e i r  v i c t i m i z a t i o n which i n t u r n r e s u l t s i n l i m i t e d growth. In an e f f o r t  to compensate for these p r o b a b i l i t i e s , my  a d v i s o r monitored the degree t o which I was l i m i t e d and assumed r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o a i d i n my o b j e c t i v i t y  with  r e s p e c t t o the research process and f i n d i n g s . Consequently my advisor was c a l l e d on to f u l f i l l r o l e on s e v e r a l  occasions.  his  95  Theoretical  Implications  This study has s e v e r a l t h e o r e t i c a l  implications  with respect t o a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of CSA. there appears to be no adequate t h e o r e t i c a l addressing the experiences  Presently,  models  and meanings of a d u l t male  s u r v i v o r s of CSA.  In the absence of a s o l i d r e s e a r c h  tradition specific  to t h i s study I chose t o search f o r  CSA t h e o r i e s  that might be a p p l i c a b l e i n a broader sense  i n s o f a r as they r e l a t e t o the phenomonon of a d u l t male survivors.  Consequently, my e v a l u a t i v e remarks w i t h  respect to e x i s t i n g CSA t h e o r i e s these t h e o r i e s  and the sense I make of  i n l i g h t of my findings are  speculative  i n nature. E x i s t i n g t h e o r e t i c a l models with respect t o CSA are p r i m a r i l y concerned with demographics, types and d u r a t i o n of abuse,  r e l a t i o n s h i p of the v i c t i m to  the  p e r p e t r a t o r , c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s and symptomatology,  and  long-term e f f e c t s .  Once a g a i n , most of the  t h e o r e t i c a l models are s p e c i f i c appear t h a t most CSA t h e o r i e s suppose,  to women.  advocate,  available I t would  i f not p r e -  a c a u s a l r e l a t i o n s h i p between CSA and  subsequent  problematic long-term e f f e c t s .  Consequently,  the e x i s t i n g CSA r e s e a r c h / t h e o r e c t i c a l t r a d i t i o n i m p l i e s t h a t those s e x u a l l y abused as c h i l d r e n w i l l develop one  96  or more of the long-term e f f e c t s repeatedly i n CSA research  identified  studies.  Furthermore, i t i s commonly thought t h a t many of the t h e o r e t i c a l models s p e c i f i c to women are t r a n s f e r a b l e to males with respect to the long-term impact of CSA. Whether or not these t h e o r e t i c a l c o n s t r u c t s are i n any way a p p l i c a b l e to a d u l t males has yet t o be investgated to any degree of T h i s study, t h e r e f o r e ,  significance.  argues f o r the need t o  evaluate  e x i s t i n g t h e o r e t i c a l CSA constructs and the i m p l i c a t i o n s these c o n s t r u c t s pose f o r future research with t o a d u l t males.  respect  A summary of c u r r e n t t h e o r i e s  concerning the impact of CSA i s presented.  Brief  remarks are made with respect to each theory and t h e i r a p p l i c a b i l i t y to adult male s u r v i v o r s . F i n k e l h o r and Browne (1985) suggest t h a t  the  v a r i o u s e f f e c t s of CSA can be c a t e g o r i z e d i n t o four traumagenic (trauma-causing) dynamics: traumatic sexualization betrayal  (inappropriate developmental  shaping);  ( c h i l d discovers someone who they were  dependent on has caused them harm); powerlessness process whereby the c h i l d ' s w i l l , self-efficacy stigmatization  desires,  (the  and sense of  are c o n t i n u a l l y contravened); and, (negative connotations a s s o c i a t e d  with  97  sexual abuse).  The problem with t h i s model i s t h a t  i s not gender s p e c i f i c  and consequently  it  overlooks  p o t e n t i a l variances found w i t h i n each dynamic f o r both males and females.  In s h o r t , t h i s model does not  provide room f o r d i f f e r e n t i a t i o n of e f f e c t s between men and women i n s o f a r as t h e i r experience of abuse  is  concerned. A second t h e o r e t i c a l model has been u t i l i z e d c h a r a c t e r i z e the e f f e c t s of sexual abuse.  to  W r i t e r s such  as Lindberg and D i s t a d (1985), Donaldson and Gardner (1985), and Eth and Pynoos (1985) came to apply the concept of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) childhood abuse experiences  i n c l u d i n g sexual  to  abuse.  These w r i t e r s noted considerable s i m i l a r i t y between the p r e s e n t a t i o n of a d u l t s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse and t h a t of b a t t l e v e t e r a n s .  However, PTSD appears t o have  limited u t i l i t y i n explaining specific  characteristics  of c h i l d sexual abuse and f a i l s to e x p l a i n , instance,  for  the impact of v i o l a t e d t r u s t from a primary  c a r e g i v e r , that being d i s t i n c t from the impact of or natural disaster  battle  (Mendel, 1995).  Janoff-Bulman's Assumptive Worlds (1985,  1989)  model focused on the c o g n i t i v e aspect of the impact of sexual abuse.  She suggested t h a t a l l i n d i v i d u a l s have  98  c e r t a i n assumptions or schemas about the w o r l d .  When  experienced, trauma forces i t s v i c t i m s t o r e a p p r a i s e t h e i r view of the world.  Janoff-Bulman f u r t h e r  hypothesized that the consequence of trauma i s  the  a s s i m i l a t i o n of the trauma i n t o an e x i s t i n g schema, o r , the r e v i s i o n of the schema so as t o accommodate f o r the trauma.  Three categories of assumptions c h a l l e n g e d by  trauma such as sexual abuse are 1) the p e r c e i v e d benevolence of the world, 2) the meaningfulness of w o r l d , and 3) the worthiness of the s e l f .  the  The problem  with t h i s model i s that i t addresses only the  cognitive  impact of v i c t i m i z a t i o n and does not convey p a r t i c u l a r affective  aspects of the impact of sexual abuse.  Mendel (1995) suggests feminism as one of the most influential  frameworks f o r understanding the impact of  i n c e s t i n the l i f e of the v i c t i m .  According t o  feminist  theory male supremacy and female oppression i s used as a b a s i s f o r e x p l a i n i n g why the vast m a j o r i t y of p e r p e t r a t o r s are male.  Mendel suggests t h a t  incest feminist  theory views sexual abuse simply as an abuse of power and appears t o work best when a p p l i e d t o father-daughter incest. While sexual abuse i s understood i n t h i s study as an abuse of power, the feminist p e r s p e c t i v e may have  99  decreased a p p l i c a b i l i t y to other forms of sexual  abuse  such as mother-son or peer abuse and t h e i r impact on a d u l t males  (Mendel, 1995).  Feminist t h e o r y , rooted i n  the assumption t h a t women have been oppressed by men s i n c e the beginning of time,  f a l l s short i n i d e n t i f y i n g  the need f o r gender a n a l y s i s when c o n s i d e r i n g the impact of CSA on males abused by women.  In a d d i t i o n ,  feminist  theory would not t o l e r a t e assumptions d e r i v e d from studies s p e c i f i c specific  to men being imposed on research  to women.  Finally,  Sepler (1990) reviews the e v o l u t i o n of  treatment of sexual abuse v i c t i m s from i t s v i c t i m advocacy f o r female rape v i c t i m s . argues t h a t p r i n c i p l e s appropriate to  source  in  In s h o r t ,  she  female  v i c t i m i z a t i o n are i n a p p r o p r i a t e l y t r a n s f e r r e d to work with males.  Sepler i d e n t i f i e s  the f e m i n i z a t i o n of  v i c t i m i z a t i o n which i n a d v e r t e n t l y developed m a s c u l i n i z a t i o n of oppression.  the  Consequently,  suggests t h a t males experience t h e i r  Sepler  sexual  v i c t i m i z a t i o n i n the context of s o c i e t y ' s e f f o r t  to  feminize the v i c t i m while at the same time the male v i c t i m i s understood as being weak or without power. The r e s u l t ,  according to S e p l e r , i s that male v i c t i m s  100  have gone undetected and/or under reported due t o s o c i e t y ' s b e l i e f that only females are v i c t i m s . With respect t o the a p p l i c a b i l i t y of these  theories  t o the f i n d i n g s of t h i s case study, i t would appear t h a t s t r a i n s of each theory can be found i n the  experiences  and meanings of W i l l y as an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA. The problem with these t h e o r i e s ,  however, i s t h a t each  one has been d e r i v e d from studies s p e c i f i c t o women and are understood by t h i s study as implying a c a u s a l r e l a t i o n s h i p between CSA and s p e c i f i c long-term e f f e c t s . In s h o r t , these t h e o r i e s suggest that s e x u a l l y abused c h i l d r e n w i l l grow up t o experience any one of a number of the p r e v i o u s l y i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s . Consequently, these t h e o r i e s appear t o f o s t e r the n o t i o n of v i c t i m i z a t i o n , thereby o f f e r i n g l i m i t e d i n s i g h t w i t h r e s p e c t t o the development of e f f i c a c i o u s ones t h a t would r e s u l t i n s i g n i f i c a n t l i f e  interventions, change.  In a d d i t i o n , none of the suggested t h e o r i e s ,  other  than Janoff-Bulman's Assumptive Worlds (1985, 1989), address the development and maintenance of a v i c t i m ' s assumptions and schemas before, d u r i n g , and f o l l o w i n g an abusive experience.  In other words, i t would appear  t h a t no e f f o r t has been made t o consider how a v i c t i m might make sense of t h e i r v i c t i m i z a t i o n or the  101  development of one's s e l f - o t h e r s worked f o r or against the v i c t i m .  schema that has e i t h e r In s h o r t , the primary  focus of the aforementioned t h e o r i e s would appear t o be t h a t of v i c t i m i z a t i o n and a l l that i t means t o be a victim. Janoff-Bulman*s Assumptive Worlds (1985, 1989) model i s compatible with the f i n d i n g s of t h i s  study  i n s o f a r as the development of one's assumptions and schemas are concerned.  I t was found that W i l l y  elevated  or i n c o r p o r a t e d h i s experience of sexual abuse t o the degree t h a t i t a l t e r e d , modified, and/or changed h i s assumptions and schemas of s e l f and o t h e r s ,  resulting in  the continued manifestation of v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  In  essence, W i l l y ' s world became a l e s s benevolent p l a c e i n which t o l i v e f o l l o w i n g h i s abuse, one that u n f o r t u n a t e l y came up short on meaning. Janoff-Bulman's Assumptive Worlds (1985, 1989) model i s a l s o c o n s i s t e n t with Leahy's (1991) theory suggesting t h a t d y s f u n c t i o n a l l i f e s c r i p t s grow out of negative c o g n i t i v e sets r e s u l t i n g i n a d y s f u n c t i o n a l p a t t e r n of behaviour.  With respect t o W i l l y ,  it  is  suggested t h a t h i s d y s f u n c t i o n a l p a t t e r n of behaviour, rooted i n a negative c o g n i t i v e s c r i p t , was c h a r a c t e r i z e d by the overflowing of h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n i n t o a l l aspects  102  of h i s l i f e .  The overflow of one unfortunate  event, t h e r e f o r e , that i t negatively emotions,  permeated W i l l y ' s l i f e to the extent influenced his b e l i e f s ,  interpersonal relationships,  profoundly,  life  h i s view of  thoughts,  and most  himself.  The f a c t t h a t W i l l y viewed himself as a v i c t i m throughout the b e t t e r p a r t of his l i f e while appearing t o s t r u g g l e i n h i s e f f o r t to move beyond v i c t i m i z a t i o n is,  i n the o p i n i o n of t h i s study, p o s s i b l y r e l a t e d  the p l e t h o r a of CSA theory, research s t u d i e s ,  to  and s e l f -  help l i t e r a t u r e that appears, f o r the most p a r t , t o be f i x a t e d on v i c t i m i z a t i o n and i t s  long-term e f f e c t s .  Most of W i l l y ' s comprehension and o r a l account of  his  v i c t i m i z a t i o n was reminiscent of what appeared i n both academic and s e l f - h e l p this  literature.  While h i s reading i n  regard may have been of value i n s o f a r as  increased  self-awareness was concerned, i t appeared to have been of l i t t l e  help with respect to moving him beyond  victimization.  I t could a l s o be speculated t h a t  his  therapy, p o s s i b l y influenced by much of the same l i t e r a t u r e , was influenced by the  therapist's  t h e o r e c t i c a l o r i e n t a t i o n , one that was c a u s a l i n n a t u r e , thus r e f l e c t i n g commonly accepted explanations i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s of CSA.  for  103  In summary, a p a r a l l e l i s drawn between J a n o f f Bulman's Assumptive Worlds (1985, 1989)  model and  Leahy's (1991) l i f e s c r i p t s i n that W i l l y , t o the trauma of sexual abuse,  i n response  assumed the world t o be  l e s s than safe wherein the developed meaning of h i s surfaced i n the form of v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  life  Concurrent w i t h  the development of his v i c t i m i z a t i o n W i l l y i s  further  understood as having influenced others to p a r t i c i p a t e h i s schema i n an e f f o r t t o v a l i d a t e h i s l i f e  in  script,  thereby i n f l u e n c i n g the l i m i t e d degree to which significant  l i f e change t r a n s p i r e d .  Absent from CSA t h e o r i e s ,  therefore,  is  the  p r o b a b i l i t y of other i n f l u e n c i n g environmental and physiological variables i n a victims l i f e ,  ones t h a t may  have c o n t r i b u t e d t o the development o f long-term e f f e c t s p r e s e n t l y a s s o c i a t e d with CSA. t h e o r i e s do not take i n t o  Specifically,  consideration  p a r e n t a l / f a m i l i a l psychopathology, disruptions/disturbances,  family  a l c o h o l and drug  peer p h y s i c a l and/or sexual abuse, considerations  most  misuse/abuse,  and p h y s i o l o g i c a l  coming t o bear on a v i c t i m s l i f e  d u r i n g , and f o l l o w i n g CSA.  before,  In other words, many f a c t o r s  other than CSA i n f l u e n c i n g a v i c t i m ' s  self-others  schema  104  have not,  f o r the most p a r t , been addressed i n r e s e a r c h  literature. Consequently, t h i s study argues f o r research t h a t d e - e l e v a t e s CSA as the primary cause of p r e v i o u s l y i d e n t i f i e d negative long-term e f f e c t s .  I t suggests t h a t  r e s e a r c h s p e c i f i c to s u r v i v o r s of CSA might take  into  c o n s i d e r a t i o n a d d i t i o n a l i n f l u e n c i n g f a c t o r s coming t o bear on a v i c t i m ' s l i f e .  Depression, f o r  instance,  f r e q u e n t l y a s s o c i a t e d with CSA, may i n f a c t be p h y s i o l o g i c a l l y based and simply exacerabated by CSA. CSA i n t h i s instance would therefore be d e - e l e v a t e d the primary reason f o r depression.  as  At the same time CSA  c o u l d be understood as one of many c o n t r i b u t i n g f a c t o r s i n f l u e n c i n g one's development. I t i s t h e r e f o r e thought t h a t a p r o - a c t i v e r e s e a r c h d i r e c t i o n might have as i t s  focus the sense one makes of  t h e i r abuse concurrent with the c o n s i d e r a t i o n of other influencing variables,  i n so doing there would be a  decreased emphasis on one's v i c i m i z a t i o n i n an e f f o r t f o s t e r the prospect of s i g n i f c a n t l i f e change.  to  In  a d d i t i o n , t h i s d i r e c t i o n might l e s s e n the impact of one's v i c t i m i z a t i o n i f a CSA v i c t i m , f o r  instance,  r e a l i z e d t h a t t h e i r homophobia developed not as a r e s u l t of sexual abuse,  r a t h e r as a r e s u l t of environmental  105  f a c t o r s such as s o c i e t a l  norms and mores coming t o bear  on the i n d i v i d u a l * s l i f e e i t h e r before or f o l l o w i n g time of abuse. represents  the  This suggested research d i r e c t i o n  a r e f r e s h i n g change from what i s  already  known concerning the i d e n t i f i e d e f f e c t s of sexual Practical  abuse.  Implications  With respect to p r a c t i c e , the presenting i s s u e f o r a t h e r a p i s t i s the s i g n i f i c a n c e  a c l i e n t attaches  h i s t o r i c a l and c u r r e n t l i f e events.  to  I t would appear i n  the case of W i l l y that the s i g n i f i c a n c e  he attached  to  h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n was the f a c t that he was v i c t i m i z e d r e s u l t i n g i n a l i f e c h a r a c t e r i z e d by personal and i n t e r p e r s o n a l confusion.  Because t h e r a p i s t s work w i t h i n  t h e o r e t i c a l constructs c o n s i s t e n t with t h e i r p r o f e s s i o n a l t r a i n i n g and experience,  the degree t o  which the t h e r a p i s t i s i n f l u e n c e d by theory i s  therefore  significant. If a therapist's  theory i s bound by v i c t i m i z a t i o n  and i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s , Willy,  for instance,  i n question.  If,  than the l i k e l i h o o d of  moving beyond v i c t i m i z a t i o n may be  however, the t h e r a p i s t can i n t e r v e n e  i n the e a r l y stages of recovery with a broader t h e o r e t i c a l base, he/she might p o s s i b l y a i d i n the containment of the c l i e n t ' s  victimization,  thereby  106  l i m i t i n g the degree to which the c l i e n t assumes h i s / h e r v i c t i m i z a t i o n to be detrimental long-term. C o n s i s t e n t with the aforementioned i m p l i c a t i o n of this  study i s not only the s i g n i f i c a n c e W i l l y attaches  t o h i s v i c t i m i z a t i o n , but a l s o the  therapist's  t h e o r e t i c a l understanding s p e c i f i c to male sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n and the r e s u l t i n g treatment m o d a l i t y .  It  i s p o s s i b l e that t h e r a p i s t s p r o v i d i n g treatment t o men s e x u a l l y abused as boys are u t i l i z i n g theory s p e c i f i c  to  women at the expense of understanding unique ways i n which men experience t h e i r abuse while making sense of l i f e events.  Consequently, t h e r a p i s t s working from  theory s p e c i f i c  t o women could i n h i b i t the degree t o  which men might experience  significant  change.  Another i m p l i c a t i o n of t h i s study i s t h a t  it  supports previous findings suggesting men who were s e x u a l l y abused as boys may e x h i b i t long-term e f f e c t s c o n s i s t e n t with those experienced by women.  I t would  appear t h a t W i l l y ' s i d e n t i f i e d problematic p e r s o n a l and i n t e r p e r s o n a l issues were described i n a manner c o n s i s t e n t with those c i t e d i n l i t e r a t u r e  addressing  long term e f f e c t s of childhood sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . The degree t o which the o r a l account of h i s l i f e  was  107  i n f l u e n c e d by l i t e r a t u r e addressing long term e f f e c t s of sexual abuse i s unknown. Furthermore, t h i s study challenges c u r r e n t research and s e l f - h e l p  h i s t o r i c a l and  l i t e r a t u r e concerning the  r a m i f i c a t i o n s of CSA i n i t s departure from long-term effects.  I t presents the theory that W i l l y ,  as an a d u l t  male s u r v i v o r of CSA, developed and l i v e d out a v i c t i m schema i n r e l a t i o n to s e l f  and o t h e r s .  It i s  thought  t h a t W i l l y drew others i n t o h i s schema i n an e f f o r t validate his victimization. life  to  Consequently, h i s schema o r  s c r i p t functioned i n an e f f o r t t o avoid p e r s o n a l  r e s p o n s i b i l i t y with respect to s i g n i f i c a n t Finally,  change.  i t would appear that t h i s study extends  what i s c u r r e n t l y hypothesized with respect t o a d u l t s u r v i v o r s of CSA.  Rather than d i s c a r d i n g other  r e l a t i v e t o the impact of CSA i n adulthood,  theories  it  acknowledges the c o n t r i b u t i o n s of these t h e o r i e s  while  seeking t o expand the parameters of understanding. s h o r t , the f i n d i n g s of t h i s study victimization,  acknowledges  i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s ,  power, and s e l f - o t h e r  In  abuse of  schemas.  At the same time, however, t h i s study f o s t e r s  the  i d e a t h a t the i s s u e of r e s i s t a n c e to change i s rooted i n life  s c r i p t s designed to r e t a i n one's v i c t i m i d e n t i t y .  108  Furthermore, i t promotes the thought that  previous  r e s e a r c h s t u d i e s have developed a t h e o r e c t i c a l t h a t allows  construct  f o r the e l e v a t i o n of the CSA experience  the degree t h a t other i n f l u e n c i n g v a r i a b l e s o r  life  events are not addressed as p o t e n t i a l explanations i d e n t i f i e d long-term e f f e c t s .  In s h o r t , t h i s  to  for  study  argues f o r a t h e o r e t i c a l construct t h a t d e - e l e v a t e s  the  experience of CSA as being the primary reason f o r the development of various problematic personal and interpersonal  issues.  Future  Research  Implications  Based on the t h e o r e t i c a l and p r a c t i c a l i m p l i c a t i o n s p r e v i o u s l y mentioned, i m p l i c a t i o n s f o r future r e s e a r c h are apparent.  Most obvious i s the need f o r a p l u r a l i t y  of case s t u d i e s so as to compare l i f e experiences meanings.  and  A broader range of research p a r t i c i p a n t s  would i d e a l l y be examined.  This would i n c l u d e men who  are m a r r i e d , men who are married with c h i l d r e n , men of homosexual o r i e n t a t i o n , men abused by women, men r e p r e s e n t i n g v a r y i n g degrees and d u r a t i o n of abuse, and men who were i n v a r i o u s stages of recovery. This suggested research d i r e c t i o n would be done i n an e f f o r t life  t o support or i n v a l i d a t e the theory of v i c t i m  s c r i p t s and schemas based i n negative  cognitive  109  sets and d y s f u n c t i o n a l behaviour.  In a d d i t i o n ,  this  r e s e a r c h d i r e c t i o n i s encouraged i n an e f f o r t t o move away from advocacy research c h a r a c t e r i z e d by the v a l i d a t i o n of the s u r v i v o r ' s v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  In essence,  t h i s research d i r e c t i o n would attempt to c o n s i d e r  other  i n f l u e n c i n g v a r i a b l e s coming t o bear on an i n d i v i d u a l s l i f e both b e f o r e , abuse.  d u r i n g , and f o l l o w i n g the time of  These v a r i a b l e s might i n c l u d e issues r e l a t e d  f a m i l i a l pyschopathology, influences,  family d i s t u r b a n c e s ,  to  external  and so on as c o n t r i b u t i n g f a c t o r s coming t o  bear on the development of many of the p r e v i o u s l y  cited  long term e f f e c t s c u r r e n t l y a s s o c i a t e d with CSA.  In  other words, t h i s research d i r e c t i o n may i n c h a l l e n g e p r e v i o u s l y accepted s e l f - o t h e r have permeated research f i n d i n g s .  fact  schemas t h a t  Previous r e s e a r c h has  supported the concept of v i c t i m i z a t i o n at the expense of s i f t i n g out t h e o r e t i c a l explanations  for i n e r t i a with  r e s p e c t t o changing one's v i c t i m i d e n t i t y . Summary T h i s study explored the experiences and meaning of an a d u l t male s u r v i v o r of CSA.  A case study approach i n  the form of an i n - d e p t h i n t e r v i e w was u t i l i z e d i n an e f f o r t t o examine one s u r v i v o r ' s experiences and  110  subjective  i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s with respect to h i s c h i l d h o o d  sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n . I t was found that the s u r v i v o r elevated experience of CSA to the degree that i t permeated a l l aspects of his l i f e .  his  negatively  CSA was c i t e d by the  s u r v i v o r as the antecedent to the development of s p e c i f i c problematic l i f e themes.  These themes i n c l u d e d  sexual i d e n t i t y c o n f u s i o n , homophobia, ambivalence toward men, estrangement  from his f a t h e r ,  unsatisfying  r e l a t i o n s h i p s with women, fear of i n t i m a c y , and movements toward recovery. This study examined the presenting data and included a c r i t i c a l analysis.  I t was hypothesized  the research p a r t i c i p a n t , i n response to h i s  that  child  sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n , developed and maintained a s e l f others schema.  Within t h i s framework the a d u l t male  s u r v i v o r l i v e d the l i f e of a v i c t i m and consequently i n t e r a c t e d with others i n an e f f o r t to have h i s victimization validated.  I t would appear t h a t  p e r s o n a l growth has been l i m i t e d as a r e s u l t of  his his  s e l f - o t h e r s schema c h a r a c t e r i z e d by v i c t i m i z a t i o n .  Ill  References A l l e n d e r , D.D. (1990). The wounded heart: Hope f o r a d u l t v i c t i m s of childhood sexual abuse. Colorado Springs: Navpress. Bass, E., & Davis, L . (1988). The courage t o h e a l : A guide f o r women s u r v i v o r s of c h i l d sexual abuse. New York: Harper C o l l i n s . Becker, J . V . (1988). The e f f e c t s of c h i l d sexual abuse on adolescent sexual offenders. In G . E . Wyatt & G . J . Powel ( E d s . ) , L a s t i n g e f f e c t s of c h i l d sexual abuse, (pp. 193-207). Newbury Park, CA: Sage. 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A r e t r o s p e c t i v e study of the long-term methods o f coping with having been s e x u a l l y abused d u r i n g childhood. C h i l d Abuse and Neglect. 16 (3), 399407. Lindberg, F.H., & D i s t a d , L.H. (1985). Post-traumatic s t r e s s d i s o r d e r i n women who experienced c h i l d h o o d i n c e s t . C h i l d Abuse and Neglect. 9, 329-334. Longo, R.E. (1982). Sexual l e a r n i n g and experience among adolescent sexual o f f e n d e r s . I n t e r n a t i o n a l J o u r n a l of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology. 26, 235-241.  116  M a r t i n , J.A., & Elmer, E. (1992). Battered c h i l d r e n grown up: A follow-up study of i n d i v i d u a l s s e v e r e l y maltreated as c h i l d r e n . C h i l d Abuse and Neglect, 16_(1), 75-87. McAdams, D. (1985). Power, intimacy, and the l i f e s t o r y . Homewood, I l l i n o i s : Doarsey Press. McCarthy, J.B. (1991). Survivors of p h y s i c a l and sexual abuse. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 61 (3), 475-476. Mendel, M.P. (1995). The male s u r v i v o r : The impact of sexual abuse. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage P u b l i c a t i o n s , Inc. Meth, R.L., & Pasick, R.S. c h a l l e n g e of change.  (1990). Men i n therapy: The New York: G u i l f o r d P r e s s .  Mrazek, D. (1981). The e f f e c t s of c h i l d sexual abuse: Methodological c o n s i d e r a t i o n s . Sexually abused c h i l d r e n and t h e i r f a m i l i e s . Oxford: Pergamon Press. Mrazek, D. (1981). Long-term e f f e c t s of sexual abuse i n c h i l d h o o d . Sexually abused c h i l d r e n and t h e i r f a m i l i e s . Oxford: Pergamon Press. Nelson, M. (1991). Empowerment of i n c e s t s u r v i v o r s : Speaking out. F a m i l i e s i n S o c i e t y : The J o u r n a l of Contemporary Human S e r v i c e s , 72 (10), 618-624. P i e r c e , R., & P i e r c e , L.H. (1985). The s e x u a l l y abused c h i l d : A comparison of male and female v i c t i m s . C h i l d Abuse and Neglect, 9, 191-199.  117  Rogers, C M . , & T e r r y , T . (1984). C l i n i c a l i n t e r v e n t i o n with boy v i c t i m s of sexual abuse. In I . Stewart & J . Greer ( E d s . ) , Victims of sexual a g g r e s s i o n : Treatment of c h i l d r e n , women, and men, (pp.91-104). New York: Van Nostrand Reinhod. Roth, S . , & Newman, E . (1991). The process of coping with sexual trauma. Journal of Traumatic S t r e s s , 4 (2), 279-297. S e p l e r , F . (1990). V i c t i m advocacy and young male v i c t i m s of sexual abuse: An e v o l u t i o n a r y model. In M.Hunter ( E d . ) , The s e x u a l l y abused male: V o l . 1. Prevalence. impact. and treatment (pp. 73-85). Lexington, MA: Lexington. Vander Mey, B . J . (1988). The sexual v i c t i m i z a t i o n of male c h i l d r e n : A review of previous r e s e a r c h . C h i l d Abuse and Neglect, 12, 61-72. Watkins, W . G . , & Bentovim, A . (1992). The sexual abuse of male c h i d l r e n and adolescents: A review of current research. Journal of C h i l d Psychology and A l l i e d D i s c i p l i n e s , 33, (1), 197-248. Yin,  R . K . (1994) Case study research: Design and methods. Beverly H i l l s , CA: Sage.  118  Appendix  A  - Letter of  o f I n t r o d u c t i o n and Statement  Research  Purpose  Department of C o u n s e l l i n g Psychology F a c u l t y of Education 5780 Toronto Road Vancouver, B . C . Canada V6T 1L2 Tel:  (604)  822-5259  Fax:  (604)  822-2328  Re: research being conducted by graduate student, Malcolm Cameron i n the Department of C o u n s e l l i n g Psychology f o r the purpose of a graduate t h e s i s under the d i r e c t i o n of F a c u l t y A d v i s o r , D r . L a r r y Cochran (822-5259) e n t i t l e d : A D e s c r i p t i v e s t u d y Of The E x p e r i e n c e s And Meanings Of C h i l d h o o d S e x u a l Abuse F o r A d u l t Survivors  Male  Dear Part i c ipant/Age ncy: Thank you f o r your w i l l i n g n e s s to engage i n the abovementioned research p r o j e c t . Your cooperation appreciated.  is  The purpose of t h i s study i s to i n v e s t i g a t e the phenomenon of a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s of sexual abuse. The o b j e c t i v e of t h i s study i s to search out the experiences and meanings of childhood sexual abuse i n the l i v e s of a d u l t male s u r v i v o r s throughout the course of t h e i r l i v e s s i n c e the time of abuse. As a r e s u l t of t h i s study i t i s a n t i c i p a t e d that a s i g n i f i c a n t c o n t r i b u t i o n w i l l be made t o the growing body of l i t e r a t u r e addressing p e r s o n a l , t h e o r e t i c a l , and p r a c t i c a l concerns so as to f u r t h e r enhance the l i v e s of thos i n v o l v e d i n the process of recovery. The r e s e a r c h w i l l take the form of indepthinterviews which w i l l r e q u i r e an i n i t i a l audiotaped 1-2 hour i n t e r v i e w during which time the story of abuse and the subsequent meanings and experiences a s s o c i a t e d with v a r i o u s stages of the p a r t i c i p a n t ' s l i f e w i l l be investigated. Open ended questions w i l l be used and w i l l not r e f l e c t any attempt t o engage the p a r t i c i p a n t i n therapy.  119  A t r a n s c r i p t w i l l be made f o r the i n i t i a l i n t e r v i e w f o l l o w i n g which another meeting w i l l be requested f o r the purpose of e s t a b l i s h i n g accuracy and c l a r i f i c a t i o n . F o l l o w i n g the second meeting the t r a n s c r i p t s w i l l then be analyzed f o r the purpose of drawing out meanings and experiences. A t h i r d meeting w i l l be requested so as t o o b t a i n feedback from each p a r t i c i p a n t concerning t h e i r impressions, thoughts, and f e e l i n g s about the defined meanings and experiences. F i n a l l y , each p a r t i c i p a n t w i l l be contacted f o r a follow-up meeting d u r i n g which t i m a copy of the t h e s i s w i l l be presented i n appreciation for t h e i r p a r t i c i p a t i o n . I t i s a n t i c i p a t e d that each p a r t i c i p a n t may spend between 8-10 hours f o r the purpose of the study. Monetary compensation i s not i n c l u d e d i n t h i s p a r t i c u l a r consent/agreement. A copy of the t h e s i s w i l l a l s o be presented to p a r t i c i p a t i n g o r g a n i z a t i o n s / a g e n c i e s i n appreciation for t h e i r p a r t i c i p a t i o n . C o n f i d e n t i a l i t y and anonymity w i l l be maintained through a c c o u n t a b i l i t y to the research a d v i s o r , the p a r t i c i p a n t s , and the granting agencies. A l l documentation w i l l be destroyed v i a the shredding of t r a n s c r i p t s and the e r a s i n g of tapes.  (name of p a r t i c i p a n t and/or agency) hereby consent(s) to p a r t i c i p a t e i n the aforementioned research p r o j e c t with the understanding t h a t at anytime and f o r any reason I am (we are) f r e e t o withdraw from p a r t i c i p a t i o n , and that a l l i n t e r v i e w s and accumulated data i n the form of audiotapes and t r a n s c r i p t s w i l l be destroyed f o l l o w i n g the completion of the r e s e a r c h , and that c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y and anonymity w i l l be maintained both during and f o l l o w i n g the r e s e a r c h , and t h a t I have a copy of t h i s agreement f o r my (our) r e c o r d s .  Particpant(s)  Witness  

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