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A song of songs : a/r/tography, autoethnography, and songwriting as music education research Bakan, Daniel Lowell 2014

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  A song of songs: A/r/tography, autoethnography, and songwriting as music education research  by Daniel Lowell Bakan  BA, York University, 1986 MA, University of Toronto, 1999  A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY in THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE AND POSTDOCTORAL STUDIES (Curriculum Studies)  THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA (Vancouver)  December 2014  © Daniel Bakan, 2014 ii ABSTRACT This dissertation is an a/r/tographic inquiry in which I explore how songs and stories about songwriting can serve as a means for theorizing new ways of conducting research in music education. I a/r/tographically braid music, lyrics, scholarship and research, autoethnography, and other creative analytical practices to demonstrate how songs and memories can be used as interpretive texts for understanding artistic identity and the nature of being a musician. Through a collaged and multi-modal method of inquiry, I show how music and its renderings, i.e., recordings, lyrics, videos, memories, and lived shared expressions (e.g., performance) can hold and uncover new ‘knowings’ about music making, the self, and society. Using a bricolaged métissage approach, I explore how and why the ethnographic study of autobiographical material and artistic renderings through (and about) song can broaden understandings of the lived experiences of musicians, music learners, and teachers. Supported by Pinar’s re-conceptualist theory of currere, hermeneutic epistemologies, and praxial approaches to music education, this dissertation exemplifies performative autoethnography as research through music-making. I ultimately arrive at two interwoven outcomes: 1) song may function simultaneously as the method, results, and interpretation of research; and 2) the lived experiences and ‘musicings’ of musicians may be considered as a form of artful scholarship. Digital audio and video files of six original songs are attached to this dissertation not only as data in support of the research, but also as a representation and report of findings through storied/scholarly renderings in lyric, prose, image, and music.  iii PREFACE The research and artistic compositions in this dissertation are all the original work of the author. Portions of Chapters Three and Four have been previously published in a single article: Bakan, D. (2013). This is the beauty: Song as a/r/tographical exploration. UNESCO Observatory Multi-Disciplinary Journal in the Arts, 3(2). All songs, music, and videos are copyright of the author. All songs are registered with the Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN). Artistic collaborative contributions to the audio recordings and videos (e.g., videography, recording and production, musical accompaniment, supplemental singers and instrumentalists) are acknowledged within the body of the dissertation, although all lyrics, songs and video renderings are my original works. All musical arrangements are also my own work, as are the video editing and narrational elements.   iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract.......................................................................................................................................... ii	  Preface........................................................................................................................................... iii	  Table of Contents ......................................................................................................................... iv	  List of Digital Media ................................................................................................................... vii	  Acknowledgements .................................................................................................................... viii	  Dedication ...................................................................................................................................... x	  CHAPTER ONE:  Introduction .................................................................................................. 1	  CHAPTER TWO: A review of the literature on autoethnographic method and related music education research ............................................................................................................. 6	  Introduction..................................................................................................................................... 6	  A few thoughts on writing .............................................................................................................. 7	  Music education research and the interpretive turn ...................................................................... 12	  The trouble with music education research .................................................................................. 16	  Praxial challenges to “aesthetic” music education ....................................................................... 21	  The crisis of representation........................................................................................................... 23	  Autoethnography as a storied method of lived-inquiry ................................................................ 26	  Story as meta-narrative ................................................................................................................. 33	  Autoethnography and currere as methods of musicing the self and social................................... 37	  CHAPTER THREE: The currere of a worldly folksinger: The social and technological context of songwriting in the 21st century................................................................................ 41	  My artistic currere......................................................................................................................... 41	  What is this thing called song? ..................................................................................................... 42	  v What is this thing called folk? ...................................................................................................... 48	  My storied musical lifeline ........................................................................................................... 57	  Technology meets song: The era of affordable recording ............................................................ 61	  Folk 2.0: Song goes on-line .......................................................................................................... 63	  Folk ‘n worldly cosmopolitans online .......................................................................................... 66	  Examples from my catalogue ....................................................................................................... 67	  A song of becoming...................................................................................................................... 67	  CHAPTER FOUR: This is the beauty: A methodology for song as a/r/tographical exploration................................................................................................................................... 69	  Part One: A few opening chords................................................................................................... 69	  Part Two: The singer grieves, the theory sings............................................................................. 71	  Part Three: If I could say it I wouldn’t have to sing it.................................................................. 74	  Part Four: Resonances .................................................................................................................. 77	  Part Five: A few verses on theory................................................................................................. 83	  Part Six: A reflective repetition and embellishment ..................................................................... 86	  Part Seven: Coda........................................................................................................................... 88	  CHAPTER FIVE: A song of songs............................................................................................ 90	  Prelude .......................................................................................................................................... 90	  Verse One: “The Year of Jubilo”.................................................................................................. 96	  Chorus One: “Jubilo: The complicated conversation” ................................................................. 97	  Verse Two: “Mount Elphinstone: Where will the fairies dance?” ............................................. 106	  Chorus Two: “The complex reverie of song-making”................................................................ 107	  Verse Three: “The Song That Everyone Should Hear” .............................................................. 113	  vi Chorus Three: “Song as comfort: The artist in service to the muse, the music, and the public good”........................................................................................................................................... 114	  Verse Four: “Chasing the Buck” ................................................................................................ 118	  Chorus Four: “The autoethnographical exploration of professional musicianship”................... 119	  Verse Five: “The Fountain Pen”................................................................................................. 127	  Chorus Five: “Complicated conversations of remembrance, connection, and writing”............. 128	  CHAPTER SIX: Final chorus: The complex conversation of musical currere .................. 135	  A reiteration of the theme ........................................................................................................... 135	  Five woven threads ..................................................................................................................... 136	  Knowing that is based in musical “doing”.................................................................................. 137	  Sung-stories and song-stories ..................................................................................................... 138	  Toward a hermeneutics of song .................................................................................................. 139	  Narrative and musical inheritance .............................................................................................. 139	  Song as research.......................................................................................................................... 140	  Sounds and style ......................................................................................................................... 141	  Musical presence/present emerging from subjectively lived musical currere ............................ 142	  The enabled digital practices of Folk 2.0.................................................................................... 144	  A final statement of the theme.................................................................................................... 145	  References.................................................................................................................................. 147	  vii  LIST OF DIGITAL MEDIA (LOCATED IN THE SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIALS AND ERRATA COLLECTION) http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863 1) This is the beauty (audio/video rendering) 2) The year of jubilo (audio recording) 3) Where will the fairies dance? (audio/video rendering) 4) The song that everyone should hear (audio recording) 5) Chasing the buck (audio recording) 6) The fountain pen (audio/video rendering) viii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS It takes a village to write a dissertation. Firstly, I owe thanks to my supervisor, Peter Gouzouasis, whose musicianship, scholarship, and mentorship have nurtured me throughout the doctoral study process. I owe much of my success to his guidance and insights. I also offer my gratitude to my committee members, Carl Leggo and George Belliveau, for their consistent guidance, support, and inspiration. As well, Scott Goble, William Pinar, William Doll, Karen Lee, Anne Phalen, Rita Irwin, Rajdeep Singh Gill, Peter Grimmett, and Donna Trueit inspired me on this journey and brought perspectives that clarified the vision of this dissertation. Several other scholars contributed through discussion and support. These include Marni Binder, Kerri Mesner, Samson Nashon, Sheri Gerson, Jason Nolan, Michael Bakan, Hillel Goelman, Abbie Bakan, Paul Kellogg, Jordan Paper, Phillip Holden, and Kate Collie. As well, I would like to thank The Social Science and Humanities Research Council of Canada and The University of British Columbia for the fellowships that have made this endeavour financially possible.  I would also like to acknowledge UBC’s Green College, whose principal Dr. Mark Vessey, along with my fellow resident members, led me to interdisciplinary ways of thought that I had not previously imagined possible. In particular, Darcy Davis-Case, Yun Sian Ng, Anita Prest, David Prest, Terry Berg, Sally Robinson, and Kathryn Ferguson supported me in difficult times. Green College formed as much a part of my doctoral learning as my formal studies. I am deeply grateful that an intellectual and scholarly place of commensality still can thrive in the modern university. I also offer thanks to the faculty, staff and my fellow students in the department of Curriculum and Pedagogy at the Faculty of Education at UBC, especially Graham ix Lea, Julia Ostertag, Ofira Roll, Donnard McKenzie, and Joanne Price—doctoral students who are pushing the boundaries of arts based research methodology in the academy.  I also am thankful to my family, friends, loved ones, and social community who offered comfort over these last few years. These include Sabina Latendorf, Sara Jane Apple, Brian Menzies, Jack the Dog, Melissa Rahme, Patti Powell, Tim Bartoo, Ruth Walmsley, Satchitananda the Poodle, Paul Bakan, Pauline Westhead, Dan the Dog, Joel Bakan, Rebecca Jenkins, Sky the Australian Sheppard, Laura Bakan, Derrick Smyth, Megan Bakan, Pat Beaton, Roy Cameron, Tina Blazer, Kari Lie, Zoe Kessler, Mr. Rick and the gang at totallyadd.com, Bruce March, Janet McCausland, Laura Schein, Allan Merovitz, Chris McKhool, Catherine Kurucz, Tom Leighton, Samantha the Labradoodle, Chris Moore, Noel Alfonso, Pete Johnston, Tracy Harrison, Jacob Bakan, Nicole Bennett, Jonnie Bakan, Maggie Robbins, Debbie Bakan, Joe Bakan, Judy Zone, Shelly Zone, Karen Blynn, Bob Johnston, Heather Powell, Clay Hepburn and the Duttons, Gwyneth Baillie, Susan Baker, Christina Starr, Rabbi Jack Schechtman-Gabriel, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Rabbi Laura Duhan-Kapan, the community of Or Shalom, John Chong, Mitch Podolak, Jake Willis AKA John Williams, Glen Marshall, the sypling, my genetic and adopted niblings, and my spiritual guides and companions. To all of the above—and to those who contribute to my ongoing learning and well-being who are too numerous to list or too eternal to name—I am deeply thankful. And finally, my gratitude goes out to Nina Miller, who made the final stages of this doctoral journey a joyful time of wonder with possibilities for a future of lasting happiness.    x DEDICATION   For my parents, may their memory be a blessing.   1 CHAPTER ONE  Introduction In recent years, arts-based researchers have offered illuminating pathways to understanding educational and artistic experiences,1 but song—words and music woven together—is under-theorized and relatively unexplored in educational research. Even though songs are used extensively in educational settings both inside and outside of school walls, very little has been said about how they may be considered as a genre of arts-based educational research. As well, autoethnographic, narrative, creative analytical practices, and arts-based approaches to research—increasingly used in other areas of social science since the 1990s—have rarely been implemented in music education research. And so, a primary research question of this dissertation is to determine how and why the study of autoethnographic material and artistic renderings through (and about) song can broaden understandings of the lived experience of musicians, music learners, and teachers.  Through this journey I explore how song, and by extension music, can be(come) considered as a form of research. I take a bricolaged métissage approach (Hasebe-Ludt, Chambers & Leggo, 2009; Kincheloe, 2001; Kincheloe, McLaren, & Steinberg, 2011) that forms a scholarly, artistic, multi-modal rendering. I intend to reveal how music making can form, inform, and be informed by autobiography, while simultaneously remaining grounded in the creative art-making process and reflective scholarship. I use a/r/tographical inquiry (Gouzouasis, 2007; Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Sinner, Irwin, Leggo, Gouzouasis, & Grauer, 2006; Springgay, Irwin, Leggo & Gouzouasis, 2008), which embraces autoethnographic methods (Chang, 2008;                                                 1  A small sample of discussions and examples can be found in Barone & Eisner, 2012; Gouzouasis, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2012; Irwin & De Cosson, 2004; Knowles & Cole, 2008; Leavy, 2009; Sinner, Leggo, Irwin, Gouzouasis & Grauer, 2006; Sullivan, 2010; Cahnman-Taylor, 2008; Van Halen-Faber & Diamond, 2008.  2 Ellis, 2004, 2009; Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Reed-Danahay, 1997) and creative analytical practices (Richardson, 2000), to explore the interwoven connections between teaching, research, and artistic practice. My methods are epistemologically informed by hermeneutics (Gadamer, 1984, 2004; Gallagher, 1992) and narrative theories (Barrett & Stauffer, 2009; Clandinin & Connelly, 2000; Ellis, 2009; Fulford, 1999; Leggo, 2008). I also draw upon poetic representation and lyrical inquiry (Prendergast, Leggo & Sameshima, 2009; Neilsen, 2008; Prendergast, Gouzouasis, Leggo, & Irwin, 2009).  Throughout this dissertation, I weave personal stories and songs to demonstrate how autoethnography (as narrated in reflections, story, and song writing) reveals personal, scholarly, and musical inheritances. Digital audio and video files are included in my thesis not only as data in support of my research, but also as a representation, interpretation, and report of my findings (see Prendergast et al., 2009, pp. 311-312). These digital media expand notions of research to broaden and include the ‘doing-ness’ of musical expressions and represent the experience of a lived artistic life through storied/scholarly renderings in prose, image, and music. Through this collaged and multi-modal approach, I intend to demonstrate how music and its renderings (i.e., recordings, lyrics, videos, memories, and lived shared expressions such as performance) can hold and uncover new ‘knowings’ about music making, the self, and other.  Like a song, I have composed this dissertation in a cyclical manner that crescendos to a concluding finale. My songs, as artistic representations and renderings, build upon each other and cast light on the place of the artist in community, the formation and expression of the creative musical self, and the technologically enabled digital creative musical practices that have emerged through the course of my lifetime. I look at compositional processes, memories, outpourings, and resulting products in an effort to further understand the identity of being a  3 songwriter2 in the our digitally enabled and historically situated moment. Throughout the a/r/tographic inquiry, music, and particularly songs are ever present. By engaging with a multi-modal and creative approach, my explorations are related to the role of artist in society, analog and digital technologies, music curriculum, and pedagogical theory. It is my hope that the reader/listener/viewer will grasp the woven threads of my questioning and come to share my insights. That said, this is arguably a complicated conversation. However, I believe that complication is necessary. My perspective is supported by Pinar’s re-conceptualist theory of curriculum—“currere” (Pinar, 1975a, p. 5; further elaborated in Pinar, 1975b; and Pinar, 2012). Pinar points to currere as a complicated conversation lived in the subjective experience of the self, lived in constant relationship with both the past and the future. The theme of currere will return again and again in this dissertation (see Chapter Two, Three, Five, and Six). As an educator and an artist, I am passionately curious about artist identity and the pedagogical currere, or lived path of learning, that contributes to the formation and expression of its formation. And so I will tell my story. This will result in an artistic, autoethnographical, a/r/tographical and musical inquiry into the currere of an individual who self identifies as an artist. Exegetical and scholarly prose, musical renderings, photographs, video, audio recordings, journalled and poetic writings, and songs will focus the research field.  The stories I share in this thesis travel along a timeline in which major changes in technology (from analog recording and broadcast to digital recording and distribution) shook the ground of musical practice. My current artistic works are the result of that technological and cultural change. It is only in this digitally enabled historical moment that my artistry can fully                                                 2  As situated in the North American folk music tradition of songwriting—see Chapter Three.  4 join with my scholarship, resulting in this dissertation, which is a creative and complicated rendering of my identity as an “artistresearcherteacher” (Gouzouasis, 2007, p. 34). My doctoral research builds upon previous academic studies in my Master’s and Honours BA theses. My Master’s degree thesis, Folk music, songwriting, art therapy and education in non school settings, (Bakan, 1999) included a collection of songs as a theoretical playground for a narrative inquiry into the social role of artists, arts education, and the artistic process. Using song, story, and theory to place myself as an artist within a field of inquiry, the written paper was accompanied by a soundtrack on CD. The original songs reflected on the topic of study and merged into a thesis that positioned the artist as an educator who contributes within the shared cultural location of non-school settings. My BA thesis, which connected Shamanic traditions with modern performance, also included an expressive arts component. My qualifying thesis for this interdisciplinary undergraduate degree was entitled, When the spirit says sing: The artist as contemporary shaman and included performance based explorations of mask rituals, clowning, song, story, and ceremony (Bakan, 1987). My doctoral work continues the trajectory of arts-based scholarship, and extends it into questions about the nature of music and research as well as artist identity and social function. The present dissertation is organized into six chapters. Chapter One is the present introduction. Chapter Two is a review of literature in autoethnographic theory that includes a discussion of issues of representation current to the field of music education research. This review will lead me to weave an interpretation of autoethnography with notions of music as “praxis” (as articulated by praxial music philosophers), to embrace an “em-body-ment” (Elliott, 1995, p. 58) of interpretive and performative autoethnography through music-making. As I will argue, praxial theory implies that music itself can be seen as a way of understanding the social  5 through the lived experience of the self. Musical renderings and practice can be used as interpretive texts for understanding the musical nature of our storied musical lives. In this chapter I also introduce the concept of currere (Pinar, 1975a, 1975b, 2012) and begin to articulate a major finding of my inquiry: that an understanding of musical currere in the lived practice of musicing offers an insightful and fruitful way of engaging in reflexive musicianship. This literature review will frame the theoretical context for the remainder of the dissertation.  Chapter Three traces my positionality as a musician through an exploration of currere; the path taken that led to my musical learning. Following Pinar (1975a, 1975b, 2012) to reflectively articulate the path of my learning, I discuss song as a musical practice, and contextualize my work as a singer-songwriter within the history of recording technology and the folk revival of the twentieth century in which I came of age.  Chapter Four is a methodological a/r/tographical exploration of the theory behind a/r/tography through song. That chapter lays the foundation for the use of song as a means of a/r/tographic exploration and also follows Gouzouasis (2013) to “remove the slashes” (p. 4) between the interstitial identities of artist, researcher, and teacher. As a result, Chapter Four initiates a foundational methodology for working with song as artographic inquiry.  Chapter Five is a montage and métissage of five songs, with discussion. It is organized in song-form, with ‘verses’ and ‘choruses’ that build to repeated and ever-developing themes. They are referred to as ‘hooks’ following the terminology of popular song. Finally, Chapter Six concludes this thesis with an exploration of these hooks and a summary of inquiries, emergent themes, and fruitful understandings that have resulted from my multi-modal efforts.  Six digital media files accompany this dissertation. These audio and video files are the exemplars, results, and artistic renderings arising from my scholarly efforts and musical musings.   6 CHAPTER TWO A review of the literature on autoethnographic method and related music education research  Stacks of books surround me in my study. These shelves hold the remnants of my academic journey into autoethnography. The lines and lines of words capture the ideas, notions, discoveries, reiterations, and perspectives of thousands of hours of lived experience. Encoded into text, these written remnants of orality place me in a legacy of ideas about culture, self, and other. There are stories here that extend beyond the few years of my own lifetime to generations, before and after. As I sit with these books I sit with these people. In these renderings, their texts and markings contain meanings. As I decode them I find myself in an utterly complicated conversation. I am able through these texts to do as Pinar requests, which is to be in touch with the past and the future through the worldliness of the subjective present.  I am here, alone and not so alone, in my study, surrounded by many, many people. They all have stories. It’s crowded in here. I have much to cite. Introduction Autoethnography and autobiographical research are not common methods used in music education research in North America, particularly in the United States. This is unfortunate, as the use of story, life history, and memory hold the potential to offer researchers wonderful insights into the nature of music practice, artist identity, musical teaching, and the complexities and value of musical knowing across a lifetime. Furthermore, because autoethnography, autobiographical research, and narrative inquiry challenge the norms of academic reporting and representation, these methods are increasingly being used by researchers to discover and transmit knowledge in artistic ways. It seems reasonable to suggest that music education researchers could benefit  7 greatly from exploring the possibilities of using music, song, performance, improvisation, composition, and other forms of musicing in our inquiries.  In this chapter, I will contextualize music education research in terms of the crisis of representation and the interpretive turn of social science research. From this theoretical base, I will engage issues surrounding music education policy and philosophy in North America and discuss how aesthetic music education philosophy has hampered music education research. A review of autoethnography as a method, story as an epistemology, and currere as a guiding light will enable me to illuminate how autobiographical methods can be engaged performatively, through music, with sung text. I will conclude by offering that musical renderings, in sung text and performed lived musical expression, are a viable, vibrant, and appropriate approach to autoethnographical and autobiographical inquiry in music education research.  A few thoughts on writing Before I proceed with this demonstration, I would like to offer some reflections on the use of writing in social science research. In the pages that follow, I will narrate some of the stories that surround the practice of autoethnographical and autobiographical methods in the postmodern academy and place them in relation to music education research. That said, this is tricky business. Once I reviewed the literature, it became clear that the critiques of traditional research go so deep, are so prevalent, and are so compelling, that the call to abandon linear scholarly form is like a siren song. That is, unless I am tied to a ship’s mast or plug my ears with wax, it is difficult not to follow its sound to a holistic, non-argumentative, and poetic form of research. It is tempting to do autoethnography about autoethnography, and in some respects, to not do so seems an injustice to the method.  8 Exploring autoethnography as method is also tricky business when it comes to music education research. Music education is neither progressive nor avant-garde when it comes to research epistemologies, particularly in North America. Music education researchers are late arrivals in the exploration of narrative, autoethnographic, and autobiographical research methods of qualitative theory. As I discovered and will share herein, the postmodern and interpretive turns that marked the use of narrative, first person story, and the artistic creative representations of knowing in ethnography are not prevalent in our field. Unlike those who research and write in the fields of curriculum theory, communication studies, language and literacy studies, performance studies, cultural studies and anthropology—music education researchers are not encouraged to be introspective, innovative, and use performative representations to explore, inquire, and document their construction of knowledge. Music education has occupied its own somewhat isolated domain in the curricular discourse. In that domain, the dominant philosophies that have set the tone for quantitative and positivistic modes of research have only recently, and minimally, been confronted (see Barrett & Stauffer, 2009; Colwell, 2009; Elliott, 2009; Gouzouasis, 2006, 2007, 2011; Gouzouasis & Bakan, 2011; Gouzouasis & Lee, 2002; Johnson, 2009). Autoethnography, and interpretive practices in general, reflect a hermeneutical epistemological stance that is not common in music education research paradigms. All the aforementioned points will be elaborated further later on in this chapter. Then there is a third tricky bit. Autoethnography and autobiographical methods exist in the complex field of qualitative research. Qualitative research writings can take a variety of forms. The qualitative researcher has been compared to a jazz musician, a quilt-maker, and a “bricoleur” (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011, p. 4). The bricoleur uses what tools she or he has on hand to discover and report findings. The term also is used in music studies when referring to  9 instruments made from found materials such as spoons, the washtub bass, jugs, and steel drums, as well as in mashed-up musical styles. Ingenuity, invention, and fluidity are part and parcel to bricolage. In terms of qualitative research and my own endeavour, bricolage is a metaphor as well as a method. It is marked by an inventive openness to using what is at hand to reveal understanding. “Research knowledge such as ethnography, textual analysis, semiotics, hermeneutics, psychoanalysis, phenomenology, historiography, discourse analysis combined with philosophical analysis, literary analysis, aesthetic criticism, and theatrical and dramatic ways of observing and making meaning constitute the methodological bricolage” (Kincheloe et al., 2011, p. 168).  With that broad concept of using the tools of research that are at hand, qualitative research texts can be performative, discursive, imagistic, roundabout, and collaged. They can follow a traditional academic style or they might not. They can be poetic, analytical, playful, expressive, or practice-based. Qualitative researchers frequently blend academic writing with narrative prose, poetry, and still or moving images. Sometimes scholarly argumentative prose is entirely abandoned. It has been suggested that in our current ‘moment’ of research, we are beyond the experimental stages of representation and fully into an era in which the forms are open ended, interpretive, openly creative, and seek verisimilitude rather than validity (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011; Gouzouasis, 2008; Richardson, 2000). A qualitative researcher is invited to not only place her or himself in the text but also to problematize the form of academic discourse itself and to use alternative and engaging approaches to writing and representation. The scholarly tone and distant othering of the scientificized subject of study is thought to hold epistemological assumptions that echo positivistic and colonial understandings of what knowledge is and how we study and articulate it. Richardson (2000) offers that writing, and its form, are themselves a  10 means of inquiry. One is encouraged to “show” rather than “tell” (Leggo, 2008, p. 11). Though beyond the scope of this essay and not directly applicable to my dissertation, indigenous theories and postcolonial perspectives have questioned these practices as well. Anthropology has long embraced humanistic ethnography and the practices of alternative ethnography have recently been so pervasive and influential that they are more the norm than the exception (see Clifford & Marcus, 1986; Denzin, 1997, 2003; Ellis, 2004; Ericson, 2011; Geertz, 1973, 1983; Goodall, 2006; Hatrup, 1992; Marcus & Fischer, 1986; Reed-Danahay, 1997; Roth, 2005; Spry, 2001; Van Maanen, 1988). Ethnography is interpretive (Denzin, 1997). All research may be considered as interpretive (Gouzouasis, 2008). Storytelling is scholarship, scholarship is storytelling. Writing reflects epistemology. Form is fluid.  And so, it is tempting to start right in practicing one of a diversity of Richardson’s (2000) Creative Analytic Practices (CAP). Skip the citations and head for the goods, so to speak. Leggo (2005) is a role model. He writes: I do not focus my writing on theoretical, philosophical, and scholarly arguments to defend and explain autobiography. I am not trying to convince readers about the efficacy of autobiographical research for composition, curriculum, and pedagogy. Instead I invite a conversation. I seek to engage readers with a performance in words. My concern is ultimately an ethical conviction. Simply, I think we live with too many lies, and, therefore, with little sense of who we are and who we can be. We need to tell our stories more. And we need to tell more stories. In the end, the stories we write and tell about our living experiences will teach us how to live with more creativity, confidence, flexibility, coherence, imagination, and truthfulness. (p. 132)  11 Thus invited, one should be able to join the conversation and tell a story, through offerings of songs, poems, dance, music, script, or prose. Call it research. Call it inquiry. Done. Or so it seems. But, not unlike specific musical genres, a dissertation is an exercise that abides by a certain set of practices. In academic practices one is expected to define, delineate, and defend the use of story as a methodology in scholarly prose. Engaging story as theory in the context of the university requires either a justification, or at the very least a collection of citations. There is a vetting of the narrative tale’s authority as scholarship. In doctoral studies, there are normalized forms and stylistic rhetoric that pay honour and tribute to the Western academic tradition. This tradition, though perhaps gendered, racialized, colonized, normalized, and controlling in its historical context, still maintains privilege in the realm of the academy. It is intriguing and curious that the very texts that critique the Western and colonial ways of assembling knowledge are cited using those very same Western and colonial methods of practice. But I also accept that citations are not “simply referential, but also persuasive….[i]nspection of the citations of authors permits the reader to ‘place’ the text and its argument” (Atkinson, 1990, p. 44). Citations assert knowledge and having paid one’s dues to the field. There is also an aspect of respect to the citation process. It honours our mentors. It names our teachers. It places us in complicated conversation with our past. This, as well as the conforming practices of scholarship, motivates me.  And so, in the ethical pursuit of understanding and knowledge, I offer this citation-infused prose. My discovery of autoethnographical work was the result of an academic journey, in that it involved reading and chasing references and yellow highlighters and précis. But as Pinar (2012) reminds us, a scholarly story is also a personal story. There is a journey, a currere  12 (Pinar, 1975a, 1975b, 2012; Irwin & De Cosson, 2004), which is lived in the learning. As we shall see, in the currere, the path taken, the subject is in complicated conversation with the past and the future through the living subjective embodiment of the learning in the present. There is a personal story behind this story. And it involves many citations. Music education research and the interpretive turn Music education research is a late, nearly non-existent, arrival in the complex conversation of qualitative research that challenges the epistemological dominance of positivistic research methods, especially in North America. Though autoethnography and other forms of autobiographical qualitative research are commonly found in communications studies, cultural anthropology, performance studies, language and literacy studies, curriculum theory, teacher education, and classroom practice (Ellis, Adams, & Bochner, 2010; Ellis, 2004; Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Leggo, 2004; Richardson, 2000; Pinar, 1975a, 1975b, 2012), narrative and storied methods are still a rarity in music education research. Even more rare, and perhaps barely acceptable to the field, are creative approaches such as performative and performance ethnography (Denzin, 2003; Spry, 2001, 2011), poetic inquiry (Prendergast et al., 2009; Prendergast, Gouzouasis et al., 2009), a/r/tography (Irwin & De Cosson, 2004; Springgay et al., 2008), ethnnodrama (Gouzouasis, Henry, & Belliveau, 2008; Saldaña, 2005), and other creative analytic practices (Richardson, 2000). This is an unfortunate state of affairs, as these kinds of research methods, and the expansion of them to engage musical renderings (i.e., instrumental compositions and songs) as a form of research, would be a fruitful way to engage and re-enliven both music education research practice and music practices in education. To understanding the state of music education research in the 21st century, it is first necessary to take a look at the history of qualitative research. Qualitative methods work toward  13 understanding the “complexities of the social world” and seek methods that “emphasize getting close to those we study, attempting to see the world through the participant eyes, and conveying the experience in a way faithful to their everyday life” (Ellis, 2004, p. 25). Qualitative theory and method are storied, interpretive, and full of both specificity and ambiguity that reflects the socially constructed nature of individual and collective experience. The word ‘qualitative’ implies an emphasis on the qualities of entities and on the processes and meanings that are not experimentally examined or measured (or measured at all) in terms of quantity, amount, intensity, or frequency. “Qualitative researchers stress the socially constructed nature of reality, the intimate relationship between the researcher and what is studied, and the situational constraints that shape inquiry” (Denzin & Lincoln, 2000, p. 8). Autoethnography is a qualitative method of inquiry informed by the blending of several threads of social science. Qualitative researchers engage in a wide range of what Richardson calls Creative Analytical Practices (CAP) such as autoethnography, performative ethnography, narrative theory, ethno-drama, arts-based research, and other creative and storied methods of inquiry (p. 929). As a sub-genre of CAP practices, autoethnography traces its lineage largely from ethnography, narrative theory, and other storied approaches to social science that were influenced by the “crisis of representation” and the “interpretive turn” in ethnography (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011; Erickson, 2011; Richardson, 2000; Reyna, 2006; Sparkes, 2002). The centrality of the self in the research text is supported by theories that place reflexivity and examination of meta-narrative as essential. Postmodern, hermeneutic, feminist, postcolonial, and post-structural theorists birthed a theoretical reassessment of the narrative relationship between story, interpretation, knowing, and writing in the social sciences. Researchers claimed that “theory is a story” and showed that not only is the “personal the political, the personal is the grounding for  14 theory” (Richardson, 2000, p. 927). The interpretive turn in ethnography brought the self and the subject into a dynamic relationship of relative truth and reflective practice. It fostered radically different ways of knowing and communicating human experience than those of positivistic reductionist social science. Knowledge was revealed as constructed, interpreted, and co-created within the social science text. The interpretive turn nurtured the recovery of story, narrative, and text in research. Subjectivity, emotion, feeling, and reflection were added to the research process. There emerged vast varieties of qualitative research practice that reinstated the author as subject, embraced interpretive means, and denied objectivity from the practice of fieldwork. The growth of qualitative research in social science was nurtured within the greater context of changing research paradigms in the Western academy of science, particularly in the field of cultural anthropology. As Erickson (2011) articulates, during the 1800s, scientific positivism grew to dominate physics and social science and its influence extended into the 20th century. Scientific forms of language were valued and empowered. Social scientists proceeded with certainty that their work was “objective, precise, unambiguous, non-contextual and non-metaphoric” (Richardson, 2000, p. 926). In anthropology, positivism fostered European, colonial, generally white, male anthropologists who studied the ‘primitive’ societies of the world with assumptions of scientific distance and assumed empirical objectivity. In the later half of the 20th century, this narrative of social science was interrupted by numerous deconstructions, retellings, and critiques (Denzin and Lincoln, 2011; Ellis, 2004; Erickson, 2011; Richardson, 2000; Reyna, 2006; Sparkes, 2002). This change in part reflects the impact of postmodernism, which forced a reassessment of notions of absolute objective truth. As Delamont, Coffey, and Atkinson (2000) write,  15 At its simplest, postmodernism is a challenge to the consensus held among the educated classes in the Western capitalist nations since the Enlightenment at the end of the eighteenth century that universal, objective scientific truths can be reached by scientific methods. Postmodernism argues that there are no universal truths to be discovered, because all human investigators are grounded in human society and can produce only partial locally and historically specific insights. The impact of postmodernism on the humanities and social sciences has been considerable and traumatic. (p. 227) Within the postmodern paradigm ‘truth’ is no longer understood as an absolute. Suspicion was cast on the meta-narratives of the enlightenment. In the later half of the 20th century, a variety of rupturing theoretical models set out to acknowledge interpretation in the study of social science. Tierney (2002) notes that qualitative research shifted from scientist-oriented approaches to a “more dynamic representational strategy that explicitly locates the author in the text” (p. 385). The “postmodern, poststructural, postcolonial, and feminist analyses, as well as other theoretical formulations, questioned how academics knew what they knew and how they presented these findings in their texts” (Tierney, 2002, p. 387). The pundits of a new ethnography gathered around a central ontology of interpretation. Ethnographical writing was as much a semiotic documentation of meaning as that which it presumed to report. “The idea that an anthropologist might simply sail to a faraway island, study the natives, and write an account of their lives was repudiated” (Tierney, 2002, p. 387). Denzin and Lincoln (2011) have identified a historical movement of eight “moments” of intellectual trends of thought in qualitative research in the English-speaking world. The moments blend and overlap, but they represent a mapping of the theoretical developments in qualitative research over the last century. They are also frequently revised. The historical moments are  16 currently identified as: the traditional (1900-1950); the modernist or golden age (1950-1970); the moment of blurred genres (1970-1986); the crisis of representation (1986-1990); the postmodern and experimental moment (1990-1995); post-experimental inquiry (1995-2000); the methodologically contested present (2000-2010); and the future (2010-).3  These mappings trace the influence of the postmodern, feminist, critical theory, postcolonial, indigenous, hermeneutic, and semiotic perspectives on research methodology. They lay the foundation for qualitative research theory and place science in our current methodologically contested present. The trouble with music education research Denzin and Lincoln’s (2011) mapping of moments does not universally travel well to other academic disciplines. Music education research is well behind other areas of education in terms of self-reflexivity, feminist critique, and postcolonial analysis (Colwell, 2009; Elliott, 2009; Johnson, 2009). Thus it seems that most music education researchers work in isolation from broader intellectual trends. Similar to sports education, music educators occupy their own territory in the schooling discourse. Both sports and music educators and theorists inhabit their own curricular, and often physical, spaces. As a result these specialties become isolated from the greater discussions that take place in education and in social science research. Physical education and sports researchers tell us that their field was still grappling with issues of representation and legitimation as the 21st century began (Holt, 2003; Sparkes, 2002). From that perspective, it seems reasonable to suggest that music education research is even further behind the trends.                                                  3 Denzin and Lincoln’s introduction to the multiple editions of the Sage published Handbook of Qualitative Research (as of 2011 we are at four and counting) has been the subject of some revision over the years—perhaps a tribute to the fluid nature of the field.  The process of redefining of these moments through each edition of the Handbook reflects the elusiveness of the field.  The blank space at the end of the last date in the list implies that the roadmap to the field will once again be revised as new understandings emerge.  17 Major journals of music education research in the USA barely acknowledge issues of representation and epistemological bias in their research methods. As Phelps, Sadoff, Warburton, and Ferrara (2005) write:  Traditional research designs in music education are grounded in objectivism: research data are accepted as largely autonomous from researchers in so far as they are (allegedly) objectified to the use of experimental or descriptive methods. Furthermore, there is acceptance of the verifiability principle: a statement or research finding is only meaningful if it is empirically verifiable. (p. 123) Even much of the qualitative research in music education research reflects a dualist paradigm that is a symptom of modernist thought. Flinders and Richardson (2002) note that,  the current generation of senior faculty who train music education researchers were themselves trained during the heyday of positivism and may have never expanded their own research expertise beyond its confines nor have any reason or interest in doing so. It is no surprise, then, that the language used in major refereed research publications in music education still bear the trappings of the positivist paradigm exclusively: hypothesis, variables, and objective measurement. (p. 1168) As a result, qualitative music education research is largely filled with pedagogical action research, case studies, participant observation, verbal protocol analysis, and occasional ethnographies (Flinders & Richardson, pp. 1170-1172). Many focus on outcomes, goals, and achievements in traditional music education settings. Very few use alternative forms of discourse, performative means, or any other form of creative analytic practice. Journals of music education research publish only ‘traditional’ forms of discourse as scholarship. The act of representation itself is barely questioned, and although narrative and autoethnography is  18 beginning to be more common, music education researchers seem generally unreflective in terms of the historical challenges that questioned issues of representation, legitimation, and interpretation in the research process. Philosophical discussions, historical analysis and other forms of argumentative prose are the main measure of theory. Researchers maintain authoritative distance from the subject and seem unaware of the underlying problems of text and scholarship that are at the heart of the challenges to research paradigms in the late 20th century.  One may question why music education researchers are so conceptually conservative in their understanding of research, representation, legitimacy, and validation compared to researchers in the fields of communications, anthropology, history, gender studies, cultural studies, performance studies, and curriculum theory. In the last 30 years—during a time when social science was under a flood of critique from postmodernism, post-structuralism, queer theory, Marxist analysis, feminist thought, and postcolonialism—researchers in the field of music education have remained largely unreflexive concerning issues of representation.  There are a few possibilities for this lingering, closed, mechanistic mindset. Most music education researchers lack adequate training necessary for a postmodern world (Colwell, 2009). Music educators are generally graduates of music schools and not social science or education theory programs. They are not versed in critique—in fact, graduates from classical conservatories are often extremely well versed in the compliance exacted by the form. Gouzouasis (2013) postulates this as a possible cause for the lack of innovation in research found in music education. As he puts it, Western classical music is, in many ways, a rule based discipline—there are rules for harmony, counterpoint, and other aspects of composition—and forms, in terms of music organizational structures, abound across all styles of music. There are rules and specific techniques for playing instruments and  19 singing, as well as somewhat rigid, accepted performance practices. It may also be a product of continued work in conservatories throughout most of their careers. Thus, as an extension of a rule based upbringing and continuing careers in the same institution, that may be why notions of traditionalist rules abound in the research programs of most music education researchers. (p. 11) As well, since the 1960s, music pedagogy and curriculum policy in the United States has been dominated by philosophers who view music as a pure, decontextualized, aesthetic experience (McCarthy, 2009). McCarthy and Goble (2005) write that the political climate of the USA in the 1950s led to a reassessment of the goals of music education, resulting from a dissatisfaction with functional arguments for music (i.e., music is good for social, moral, physical, and intellectual development) and a desire for music education to be based on philosophical principles which argued for its inherent value.  Owing at least in part to this discontentment, a number of scholars—such as Allen Britton, Harry Broudy, Charles Leonhard, Bennett Reimer, Abraham Schwadron, and Ralph Smith—began to work toward formulating a new philosophy built on principles drawn from Western aesthetics. These writers were influenced principally by the ideas of John Dewey, Susanne Langer, Leonard Meyer, and James Mursell. (p. 20) In order to establish “professional unity, security, and respectability” many in the field felt the need for a single philosophical perspective on the goals of music education, and the nature of musical experience (McCarthy & Goble, 2005, p. 23). As a result, aesthetic philosophies have dominated in education since the 1970s, largely through the Music Educators National Conference (MENC) with its significant influence on national music education standards (Goble, 2010; Elliott, 1995, 2009). Aesthetic music education is based in notions of music as a ‘thing’ or  20 ‘object’ of universal aesthetic beauty. It builds on Langer’s ideas of music as a tonal expression of emotional life (McCarthy & Goble, 2005, p. 22). This type of thinking about music tends to favour a focus on European music traditions, performance, music appreciation, music theory, notation, virtuosity, and specialization. As a result, McCarthy (2009) has identified four “traditions that have come to be closely associated with school music: priority given to musical works, preference for classical repertoire, emphasis on development of performance skills, and commitment to the values and practices of conservatory models of instruction” (p. 32).  Music was one of the first educational fields to develop national standards, largely advocated for by the MENC and in response to educational reforms arising from A Nation at Risk (National Commission on Excellence in Education, 1983). Elliott (2009) writes that MENC feared that without unified national standards music education would get cut altogether in the new focus on skills and job training. As he tells it, well meaning music educators—led by Bennett Reimer and other members of MENC—rushed to make standards about musical content in the simplest sense. They wanted them to be measurable and politically uncontroversial. Elliott argues (2009) that as a result of MENC’s philosophy, standards have been developed with crucial weaknesses. He believes they take no position on the rich long-term values of music to individuals and society. They focus on outward, positivistic, and testable results. Elliott writes that the standards movement represents conformity and compliance with conservative forces in education, and is un-reflexive in its values and assumptions. Although it is possible to measure whether a child is singing in tune doing so tells us very little about assessing a child’s growth in musical understanding and nothing about the deeper benefits that musical achievements may or may not contribute to the child’s life. (pp. 167-168)  21 This standardization has also impacted the way music is taught. As Bartel (2004) writes, “Music education today is perhaps more teacher directed than any other aspect of schooling” (p. xii). Bartel goes on to point out that systemic problems in the field encourage this teacher centred and controlling approach to musical practice. These include noise and class size factors, architectural issues in school building design, grade and age based divisions of educational institutions, a rehearsal and performance model of music curriculum and pedagogy, and an underlying meta-narrative that music is taught in formal classes and lessons.  The dominance of aesthetic music education as a philosophy has not only had detrimental results on music education, making it seem irrelevant to students and administrators alike, it has also had an effect on the conceptualization of music education research. Music education that focuses on evidence of ‘musicianship’ as defined by aesthetic philosophy and values produces research that reflects a corresponding epistemology. Historically, “research in aesthetic education responded to the widespread value attributed to quantitative research methodology, the measurement of behavioural and instructional outcomes, and the creation of instructional plans around concepts and behavioural objectives” (McCarthy & Goble, 2005, p. 27). Because of the influence of aesthetic models, a narrow idea of research held authority.4 At 14 years into the new millennium, 28 years after the publication of Marcus and Fischer (1986), it would seem that many researchers in music education have not come to terms with the issues brought to bear by the crisis of representation.  Praxial challenges to “aesthetic” music education  In response to the concentration of power held by MENC, “praxial” music educators formed an emergent school of thought that deconstructs entrenched aesthetic educational                                                 4  Interestingly, in musicology and ethno-musicology challenges to modernity have been more readily embraced. See for instance Michael Bakan’s (1999) work about his experiences learning Gamelon in Bali.  22 philosophy. These challenges have been articulated by scholar/musician/pedagogues such as Elliott (1995), Small (1998), Regelski (1996), and Goble (2010). The praxialists postulate that music is a trans-cultural doing-ness rather than a pure, aesthetic, idealized form. They resist the standards of linear achievement and hierarchy represented by aesthetic educators, and place music within a contextual social culture of interpretive meaning. Elliott (1995) departs, in his foundational text, Music Matters, from formalist and aesthetic-cognitivist approaches. Elliott repositions music as a verb— “musicing” (p. 47) is the action of making or listening to music. Just as a dancer engages in dancing, music makers and listeners engage in musicing. “Musicing is the inceptual property of music as an auditory presence” (Elliott, 1995, p. 47).  Music is something we do, not merely a theoretical form of perfection to which we aspire. Elliott denies dualism by reuniting thought and doing in music. This re-conceptualization seeks to remove the judgments and hierarchical standards set by aesthetic educators in the 20th century. Elliott believes music to be a form of “practical” knowing that can be compared to sports or the finely tuned handiwork of a surgeon. The action is the knowing, and the knowing informs the action. As Elliott explains “the actions of music making can be seen, fundamentally, as the ‘em-body-ment’ of musical thinking, knowing, and understanding” (p. 58).  The praxialists resist and reject the Platonic (and colonial) notion of music as transcendent and best exemplified in the ‘great masters’—dead, white men who stand in the authority of genius (Johnson, 2009). They advocate for the inclusion of a broader range of musical genres in teaching and learning such as jazz, folk, world, hip-hop, blues, rock and techno. They recognize the context of musicing and advocate an inclusive, progressive and  23 multi-cultural model of music education practice appropriate to a diverse global community (Goble, 2010). Praxial music philosophy’s challenge to aesthetic and positivistic models provides a stepping-stone towards music education research’s reconceptualization. Autobiography, autoethnography, and performative autoethnography have much to teach music education researchers, even the praxialists, who still publish and privilege only ‘scholarly’ academic writing and theoretical musings that are divorced from musical practice in their representations. Perhaps, if music educators, informed by praxial philosophical approaches, revisit the lessons learned from hermeneutics, semiotics and other interpretive approaches, research in the field might be better prepared to understand the lived practices of musicing and the ramifications this has for education as a whole (Gouzouasis, Bakan, Ryu, Ballam, Murphy, Ihnatovych, Virag, & Yanko, in press). In consideration, and in comparison with other realms of educational research, music education researchers have something to learn from other fields of qualitative research. We may have to go back a few steps, and revisit Clifford, Marcus, Fischer, Geertz, Turner, Bruner, and Dilthey to get our bearings. Perhaps then we will be ready for Bochner, Ellis, Denzin, Pinar, Lee, Gouzouasis, Irwin, Leggo, and Spry. I offer the following sections of this chapter as further evidence of the need for change in our profession. The crisis of representation The proclamation of the crisis of representation, originally articulated in Anthropology as Cultural Critique (Marcus & Fischer, 1986), revealed the role of the researcher in the researched. Geertz, Turner, Bruner, Clifford, Marcus, and Fischer were important contributors to a re-conceptualization of ethnography arising from the postmodern era. Two seminal texts, Writing Culture (Clifford & Marcus, 1986) and Anthropology as Cultural Critique (Marcus & Fischer,  24 1986), articulated the growing postmodern critique of knowledge and applied it to the writing of ethnography. Oft cited, these books were important catalysts to the interruption of the meta-narrative of objectivity and assurances of validity in ethnographic research. Clifford and Marcus called on ethnographic writing to engage in Geertz’s (1973) thick description—writing that could bring to bear contexts and meaning of cultural behaviour. This form of writing recognizes the writer within the written. The ‘write-up,’ it was argued, is as much a part of research as the ‘object’ of study. The crisis of representation articulated by Marcus and Fischer (1986) in the context of anthropology and ethnography expanded into other fields of social science. These ideas had lasting impact and called into question objectivity and validity—core concepts of 18th century positivistic social science. The hard truth of social science revealed by Writing Culture is that truth is approximate (Reyna, 2010). These approximate truths are expressed through and of the self, which is also utterly connected to others and the social. This changes the very nature of the research endeavour. Research becomes inquiry. Solid answers to solid questions are not an achievable, or even desirable, goal of the scholarly endeavour. Semiotics and hermeneutics had resonant influence on these newly articulated understandings of ethnography. Hermeneutics connected object and subject in a dynamic process of interpretation and reinterpretation. In this, Geertz, and his colleagues Bruner and Turner—all of who informed Clifford, Marcus and Fischer—owe some debt to 19th century philosopher William Dilthey. Dilthey’s hermeneutics connected object and subject in a dynamic process of interpretation and reinterpretation. “Dilthey argued that to understand the meaning of human action requires grasping the subjective consciousness or intent of the actor from the inside” (Scwandt, 2000, p. 192). Geertz’s work (1973) is embedded in the understanding that we relationally impart meaning in a phenomenological process of interpretation. As Geertz writes,  25 “the concept of culture I espouse is essentially a semiotic one” (Geertz, 1973, p. 5). Geertz believed that culture is made from webs of meaning based on the significance we create through interpretation. He continues,  man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun, I take culture to be those webs, and the analysis of it to be therefore not an experimental science in search of law but an interpretive one in search of meaning. (p. 5) This leads to a view that “culture is not strictly speaking a scientific object, but is created, as is the reader’s view of it, by the active construction of a text” (Van Maanen, 1988, p. 7). We interpret and reinterpret meaning from the texts of our lived experience. Stories, and culture as a whole, are made from assemblies and interpretation of symbols. Culture is created, absorbed, and responded to within and through a web of symbolic ‘texts.’ Both culture and writing are a semiotic expression of this meaning. Both are representative of our storied biographies and lived experiences. They are never separate from the self, its expressions, renderings, and representations. These ideas, and their resilient confirmation from multiple threads of social science theory (e.g., anthropology, phenomenology, hermeneutics, semiotics, feminism, postcolonial studies, post-structuralism, and postmodernism) brought interpretive practices to the field of qualitative methods. The crisis of representation allowed for a reassessment of scholarly practices and the reporting and articulation of ethnographic knowing. It made scholars question the disembodied and intellectual tone and findings of their research. However, the crisis of representation had minimal impact on music education research.  26 Autoethnography as a storied method of lived-inquiry It is into this rich field of qualitative interpretive method that autoethnography takes its place as a way to approach human knowledge in the social sciences. The hermeneutic, interpretive and semiotic approaches articulated by the crisis of representation paved the way for new paradigms for ethnography. By the early 1990s, Geertz’s (1973) thick descriptive writing was extended to the first person, to understand the place of the self in the social. This kind of writing could also bring to bear emotions, lived-experiences, and the body. It could bring texts into more intimate contact with readers through the use of literary tropes, story telling, performance, memory, reflection, and a careful eye for cultural context. As Ellis (2004) writes:  Suddenly there was a host of this work originating in anthropology. I’m thinking of scholars such as Geertz, Clifford and Marcus, and Marcus and Fischer. These writers prepared a space for texts such as Final Negotiations by introducing new forms for expressing lived experience. As I sat in my office trying to work out new ways to write that included the self, emotions, and the body, and brought the reader closer to the text, they were deconstructing writing conventions and demonstrating that literary and scientific genres of writing were situated within historical and linguistic practices that hide ideological interest and largely determine what will count as legitimate knowledge. (pp. 17-18) In autoethnography, the self—the individual construction of a personal life—is understood as within and of society. Personal life stories offer a playground and workspace to understand the social through the lived experiences of the self. The self is not separate from other, which is not separate from culture (Chang, 2008; Ellis, 2004; Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Reed-Danahay, 1997). Autoethnographers tell and reflect upon first person stories of their lived experiences as a way of  27 understanding the culture and themselves. They research lived experiences and their epiphanies. Ellis (2004) posits that the range of autoethnographers inhabit a triadic spectrum of emphasis. This triad of relationships between the auto (the self), the ethno (the culture), and the graphy (the process) remains a variable in the field. Some scholars do more auto, some more ethno, and some focus on the process. Autoethnography is both a method and a practice. In this form of writing/research the: epistemic subject and epistemic object are identical. Scientists take themselves (their experiences, actions, biographies) (as) objects of their research. Their object is not out there but consists decidedly in and of their own, situated bodies. Research pertains to the personalized, social, cultural, and historical context. (Breuer & Roth, 2005, p. 425) Often, autoethnographers abandon scholarly form as a means of disseminating theory. One of the important texts in autoethnographical theoretical literature is Ellis’s 2004 “methodological novel.” In it, Ellis interweaves a narrative of teaching a fictional class of graduate students about autoethnography with an explication of method. Like autoethnography itself, her text is non-linear and creative. But she also includes clear and direct expository prose that outlines the breadth of form that an autoenthnographical work can take. Usually written in first-person voice, autoethnographical texts appear in a variety of forms—short stories, poetry, fiction, novels, photographic essays, scripts, personal essays, journals, fragmented and layered writing, and social science prose. They showcase concrete action, dialogue, emotion, embodiment, spirituality and self-consciousness. These features appear as relational and institutional stories affected by history, and social structure which themselves are dialectically revealed through actions, feelings, thoughts, and language. (Ellis, 2004, p. 38)  28 There is some major discussion amongst theorists as to what writing about the experience of self as a form of ethnography should be called. Ellis and Bochner (2000) offer “autoethnography” as the term of choice as it encapsulates all the diverse methods and perspectives. Others use auto-ethnography with a hyphen, denoting a connection yet distinction between the “auto” the “ethno” of the field (Meneley & Young, 2005). Roth (2005) inserts the backslash to reflect the dialectical nature he reads into the self/social. I prefer to use Ellis and Bochner’s words, although I would extend their umbrella to include literary and artistic representations that are informed by lived experience and attempt to extend this experience to understand the social constructs in which they take place. Autoethnography often finds itself in tense relationships with other forms of academic practice. It can be seen as being self-absorbed, literary, unscientific, lacking structure, and non-scholarly. Holt’s (2003) wonderful writing story documents how his autobiographical work was rejected for academic publication. Some scholars are uneasy with considering a biographical tale written in first person as research (Holt, 2003). In its defense, autoethnography has also been categorized, canonized and perhaps, colonized, in attempts to justify its validity. To this end, some create vast normalization categories and taxonomies of the various and diverse methods by which personal story, told in a variety of tense and media, has been valid and valuable to social science. Autoethnographers often delineate their method in expository prose as a means of achieving scholarly validation—though this can lead to the ‘scientification,’ if you will, of the creative impulse of narrative. Scholarly language and discursive style assert the position and authority of the text. Some of the theorists seem well aware of this irony. Ellis and Bochner, (2000), sometimes with tongue firmly in cheek, will distinguish their academese through the use  29 of italics and section breaks before slipping into a scourge of citations to assert autoethnographic methods and their legacy. Ellis and other autoethnography theorists use these taxonomies to reveal the widespread use of personal story in social science. The vast listings of the autoethnographical literature are impressive. In one of their writings, they list 27 terms that have been coined for personal narrative research in fields such as sociology, anthropology, and communications (Ellis & Bochner, 2000, p. 740). These taxonomies echo a legacy of categorization in ethnography such as Van Maanen’s “realist,” “confessional,” and “impressionist” forms of writing (Van Maanen, 1988). Richardson (2000) also uses taxonomies. Her review of literature of creative analytic practices (CAP) is a genealogy of related species: autoethnography, fiction stories, poetry, drama, performance texts, polyvocal texts, reader’s theatre, responsive readings, aphorisms, comedy, satire, visual presentations, allegory, conversation, layered accounts, writing stories, and mixed genres. Ellis and Richardson both use the scholarly textual approach, categorization, and citation to show that autoethnographers and other practitioners stand on solid theoretical ground. These writers demonstrate that the field is well defined. Their research techniques are not fringe, rather, they represent a powerful social science movement. Richardson states that “CAP ethnographies are not alternative or experimental; they are in and of themselves valid and desirable representations of the social” (p. 930). They allow for subjective knowledge to be transformed into collective wisdom through their recovery in story and the pursuit of analysis. This analysis is, by its nature, not objective, and in fact the method challenges the supremacy of objective knowledge as a standard of excellence in human science. One might search for a distinction to be made between autobiography, biography, memoirs, and autoethnography. Autobiography, biography, and memoirs are generally seen as  30 literary events, rather than involving ‘research.’ It is the connection of the personal to the social that differentiates autoethnography from these other forms of life story writings. The ethno of autoethnography seeks the social within the self. “Autoethnography is an autobiographical genre that connects the personal to the cultural, social, and political” (Bartleet & Ellis, 2009, p. 7). Some believe this is a distinctly different practice than the literary practice of autobiographical work, life-writing through poetry, performative autoethnography, and a host of other labels and brands of reflective, creative practice.  But the lines between the literary/artistic expression of life story and the use of story as research continue to be challenged and remain, at best, blurry. Given the flexibility of the field, these kinds of distinctions may be moot. As the adage goes, “all research is me-search” (see Bresler, 2008). All theoretical constructions contain metaphors. All knowledge is allegorical. Ultimately, this fluidity makes delineating distinctions between biography, memoirs, autoethnography, and narrative theory itself theoretically intriguing, but ultimately irrelevant. A good story is a good story. Living is research.  Relationality is core to autoethnography’s storied epistemology. Chang (2008) places autoethnography in the context of three interrelated concepts: culture, self, and other. She argues that self is “consistently connected to others in the realm of culture” (Chang, 2008, p. 29). She frames deep cultural understanding as being connected in Buberian I-Thou relationships (Buber, 1923/1970). These are connections in which the self and other meet in a fundamentally relational ‘genuine encounter.’ In this way, the storied understanding of self and other form an ethical practice, one in which both the writer and the written are not ‘things’ (which is resonant with Buber’s I-It relationship) but a relational connected relationship of self and other that embody the I-Thou relationship. Understanding the story of self and sharing it with others builds and affirms this deep phenomenological interconnected, and dare I say it, spiritual, relationship.  31 Autoethnography benefits greatly from the thought that self is an extension of the community rather than it as an independent, self sufficient being, because the possibility of cultural self-analysis rests on an understanding that self is part of a cultural community. (Chang, 2008, p. 26)  This is particularly apt in education, where “identity and pedagogy are constructed through a self-narrative of lived experience within all its historical, social and cultural contexts” (Hayler, 2011, p. 13). The Buberian I-Thou relationship is foundational to ethical practice and pedagogy. Understanding that we are capable of the intimate connection implied by Buber’s (1923/1970) postulation frames pedagogical practice as relational. Hidden within this is the notion, as Buber addressed, that the relational connectivity is an expression of divinity. Knowing the other as part of yourself is a holy act. Compassionate knowledge and reflective understanding of the lived experiences of self and other, can lead to relational and ethical ways of being in the world. Autoethnographers also challenge traditional notions of validity in research (Gouzouasis, 2008). Rather, they seek verisimilitude, a feeling of evocative truthfulness that has the power to personally move the reader. “For autoethnographers, validity means that a work seeks verisimilitude; it evokes in readers a feeling that the experience described is lifelike, believable, and possible, a feeling that what has been represented could be true” (Ellis, Adams & Bochner, 2010, par. 34).  As a method of inquiry, autoethnography is proudly nonlinear and unpredictable. It can be performative, textual, visual or dramatic. This is appropriate to the subject matter of lived experience. There is also space for impassioned and personally fulfilling work that breaks convention and is self aware of its status as an interrupter of normalized scholarly discourse. Ellis (2009) states,  32 I want autoethnography to stay unruly, dangerous, passionate, vulnerable, rebellious, and creative—in motion, showing struggle, passion, embodied life, and collaborative creation of sense-making. I need the researcher to be impassioned and embodied, vulnerable and intimate, and the stories to be evocative, dramatic, engaging, with concrete and layered details, and when the topic calls for it, even heart-breaking. I want the reader to care, to feel, to empathize, to try to figure out how to live from the story, and then to do something. That to me is what autoethnography is about. (p. 363) Autoethnographers are very aware of the healing power of telling and understanding our stories. Ellis found autoethnography a healing process that brought her professional work and her personal work together. Ellis first wrote autoethnography in response to her brother’s death and continued in her grief as she managed her way through her partner’s ultimately fatal emphysema. She writes of how she coped with the illness of her partner by keeping daily field notes during the last year of his life. This ultimately became her text for Final negotiations (Ellis, 1995). In a conversation between Bartlett and Ellis (2009), both describe how autoethnography offered a renewed sense of connection to their life and work. Bartlett describes a situation similar to my own, one in which a professional life as a musician became a confused and mindlessly driven pursuit. She, like me, found herself on a treadmill of musical professional practice that had somehow become disconnected from her love of music. For Bartlett, autoethnography became a place to make sense of her musical practices. It provided a healing balm to her driven musical life which was becoming increasingly uninspired and fuelled by self-judgment and critique. The self reflective and restorying practices of autoethnography renewed her relationship to music.  In an emergent body of literature, there is a growing focus on the compassion that can be embodied in autoethnographical research. This is the heart, the core, of what Pelias (2004)  33 frames as a “methodology of the heart.” Pelias requests that we bring the body renewed into our scholarship. He craves that we can pose our questions and meanderings for truth within a living breathing body of skin, bones, groin, hand and a vibrant heart pumping red rich blood. “Without the heart pumping its words, we are nothing but an outdated dictionary, untouched” (Pelias, 2004, p. 7). We can return the subject to the object. We can soften the discourse of academic understanding. We can frame the truth and that which stands for the truth as an artful, heart full endeavour that cites compassion as its validity. Autoethnographers situate themselves as practitioners that embody an embracing and nurturing form of social science knowing in the academy and beyond. Ellis, Chang, Richardson, Denzin and Spry would agree with Behar that scholarship that “doesn’t break your heart just isn’t worth doing anymore” (Behar as cited in Pelias, 2004, p. 9). As my cousin, ethnomusicologist Michael Bakan once wrote: “If it leads to compassion, it’s knowledge; if it doesn’t, it’s just more information” (Bakan, 2009, p. 517). As Pelias (2004) writes, “I don’t want to go places where the heart is not welcome. Such places frighten me.” “Are you frightened by the truth?” would come the rejoinder. “No, I am frightened by what passes for the truth.” (p. 8) Story as meta-narrative Core to a storied approach taken in autoethnography is a meta-narrative of story as epistemology. Meta-narratives are stories we tell about stories. The meta-narrative that surrounds autoethnographical and autobiographical practices, and narrative theory as a whole, is about stories. In narrative theory, story is a methodology. The epistemology of story as method is that story is the way we tell ourselves to ourselves. We live storied lives. To story is to set a symbolic set of variables into play to create meaning. The process of “storying and restorying” is how we  34 learn and grow in our understanding. This is fundamental to learning. As Connelly and Clandinin (1990) tell it:  Narrative for us is the study of how humans make meaning of experience by endlessly telling and retelling stories about themselves that both refigure the past and create purpose in the future. Deliberately storying and restorying one’s life or a group or cultural story is, therefore a fundamental method of personal and social growth: it is the fundamental quality of education. (p. 24). We make sense of our lives through the ways that we tell our stories to ourselves. The stories change over time. New chapters are written, new interpretations of old stories are enabled, and mature understandings of infantile perspectives inform wiser insights. The stories are created in webs of meaning-making within our collective and self-lived narratives of biography. “Stories are the way humans make sense of their world” (Ellis, 2004, p. 32). Or as Fulford (1999) states, Of all the ways we communicate with one another, the story has established itself as the most comfortable, the most versatile—and perhaps also the most dangerous. Stories touch all of us, reaching across cultures and generations, accompanying humanity down the centuries. (p. x)  Stories simultaneously create our knowing, and transform our knowing. New stories, and new ways of understanding old stories, can challenge personal and collective narratives. Stories can force us out of habitual ways of being or maintain the status quo. Stories help us understand who we are and how we act in the world. A lived life is one that is storied. The stories that make up a life can be held in memory, histories, poetry, biographies, songs, and novels. These are artefacts in which we assemble ourselves—for, to, and through ourselves and others—to find out who we are and what we might become. These narratives bond families and communities in a storied web  35 as well. Goodall (2006) points to these stories as a narrative inheritance. Narrative inheritance is constructed not only in the ‘known’ and ‘told’ stories of a family culture, but also in the stories that are silenced, hidden, unspoken, or repressed. These stories—both manifest and latent—form a web of inheritance, sometimes unacknowledged and avoided, which contributes to the construction of personal and collective identity. Our biography, identity, genealogy, and worldview are made of and imbued with stories of our—and others—lives.  An epistemology of story is at the heart of autoethnography, and of narrative theory as a whole. These stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, are cyclic and unfolding; constantly rewritten and reinterpreted by memories informing the phenomenological now. Memory, like history, is selective. In the narrative flux of life story telling we create and reshape the past by virtue of our understanding of the present. Any story we tell of “what happened” is filtered through the subjectivity of our currently lived-lives. As Leggo (2005) writes “autobiographical writing is not capturing the past. Instead, autobiographical writing is about re-creating a sense of self, re-visiting the past in order to render renewed versions of experience” (p. 122). Or, as Hastrup (1992) elaborates, “The past is not past in anthropology; it is ethnographic present” (p. 117). The “what happened” is a construction. The tale we tell is always told from the perspective of now, and subject to interpretation. There is a play of fluidity between what we recall as the past and the interpretation we give it. In a fundamental way we can never truly understand “what happened.” The lived experience—the fundamental phenomenological moment of being in time—is not a narrative. “Any narrative will always be a translation, a hermeneutic search, an ongoing process of presenting and representing, of change and exchange, of selection and election” (Leggo, 2005, p. 122). As Eisenhart (2005) writes,  36 the story I tell must be understood as “what happened” in a very qualified way. My story is not a neutral, transparent, or decontextualized account of what happened or what kind of person I am. It is positioned—presented from the perspective of someone with certain intentions at a specific moment in historical time. It is also situated—made to fit with my expectation about who will be in my audience and what they will expect from someone like me and the other “characters” in my story. It is a literary genre actively constructed, by a person in a social and cultural space, so as to be believed (as something that actually happened to me, the teller) and so as to be taken seriously (as something that is meaningful for those I expect to read this account). (p. 286) This is as true in disciplines such as philosophy and history as it is in autobiographical work. Academic stories are still stories, and as such, they do not tell it ‘as it is,’ but rather ‘as it could be seen.’ The story I tell is one that is told from the perspective of my present, and the details that emerge are those resonant with the lived reality of my present. That notion is central to the conceptualization of autoethnographical work and perhaps all forms of narrative inquiry. The now is informed by the past. Echoing Pinar (1975a, 1975b, 2012), understanding and reframing the past through the resonance it has on the present allows for informed action and practice as we step into the future.  Although not autoethnography per se, Pinar’s (1975a, 1975b, 2012) notions of currere also engage with storying and restorying within a relational, ethical framework. Pinar reconceptualizes curriculum—not as an object or product—but as a process, lived in the subjective body of the individual, in dialogue with the collective subjectivity of society. “The method of currere seeks to understand the contribution academic studies makes to one’s understanding of one’s life (and vice versa)” (Pinar, 2012, p. 45). Pinar sees scholarship as a  37 conversation with others, both past and future, through understanding both personal biography (i.e., autobiography) and socio-historical context. Currere is a term denoting the road travelled as well as a method for understanding curriculum as an infinite and living path rather than an object or course of study. An understanding of curriculum as currere promotes an allegorical approach to story to place the subject in complicated conversation with the past and the future by as a way to enliven the present. Through a four step method, educational experience is understood regressively (by reflecting on past experience), progressively (by imagining experiences in the future—both one’s own and that of others), analytically (by understanding the historical present circumstances—also called the ‘horizontality’ of our lived moment—both subjectivity and of one’s society), and synthetically (coming to an integrated analysis of the lived educational present through the integration of the reflective knowledge found in the regressive, progressive, and analytical processes of the method).  For Pinar, it is in the reflexive relationship to our storied experience that we are able to make informed choices to act in the present. These choices, and the actions they inspire, resonate forward and backward through time, to distant and not so distant others. Pinar’s work implies that living in the midst of stories is the essence of scholarship. Pinar sees currere as a way to reflect on and reframe our notions of curriculum. Curriculum is not a thing to be achieved; rather it is a path to be lived. We live this currere in the reflective practice of scholarship combined with the lived bodies of our subjectivity. Similarly, research is not a thing to be achieved but a path to be lived, written sung, performed, drawn, and explored to its fullest potentials.  Autoethnography and currere as methods of musicing the self and social As I have attempted to share through this discussion of ideas that are being discussed and explored on a larger stage, music education research seems to remain largely unaware of the  38 issues of representation, interpretation, and epistemology brought to bear by the interpretive turn in social science and the crisis of representation. Music education research is dominated by positivistic epistemology. This is not a critique, although it may be interpreted as such by some readers, as much as it is a simple observation. As such, it reinforces and replicates hegemonic, aesthetic music education practices. Operating in isolation from discussions in curriculum theory, anthropology, cultural studies, performance studies, language and literacy studies, and drama studies, most music education research is relatively untouched by the critiques of form and content arising from feminist, postcolonial, postmodern, hermeneutic, and phenomenological retellings of theory. Fortunately, a small but emergent body of literature is beginning to explore the use of narrative, autobiography, autoethnography, and story to understand the lived experience of musical teachers and learners (Lee, 2004; Ellis & Bartleet, 2009; Gouzouasis & Regier, in press; Gouzouasis & Ryu, in press; Gouzouasis et al., 2014) although some seem to be still grappling with traditionalist, early forms of narrative inquiry (Barrett & Stauffer, 2009). In summary, a handful of notable exceptions to the ‘late to the dance’ syndrome of music education research are found in the work of Lee (2005, 2007, 2010), Gouzouasis and Lee (2002, 2007, 2009) Gouzouasis (2007, 2008), Gouzouasis, Henrey, & Belliveau (2008), Prendergast, Gouzouasis et al. (2009), and Ellis and Bartleet (2009). These works contain creative fictional and non-fictional texts, autoethnographical elements, narrative texts, and poetic renderings that challenge the form and content of research related to music learning and teaching. They grapple with the problem of finding ways to discuss, in the linear form of expository text, musical knowing as a living practice that musically stories our musical knowledge of self and other. They document the experience of musicing and explaining music in arts-based educational research, as well as other contexts through the use of narrative, autobiography, and autoethnography.   39 Also, in other areas of research (e.g., education, critical theory, postcolonial studies and performance studies) autoethnography that focuses on musical experience is becoming more common. Spry’s autoethnography on her father’s jazz career (Spry, 2010) and Huckabye and Weinburgh’s telling duoethnography on the songs “Dixie” and “Lift every voice and sing” (Huckabye & Weinburgh, 2012) are two such examples. Another particular touching example of the autobiographical use of text to document the complexities of musical experience is found in Jones’ tale Bye Bye Love (2009). In this lovely piece of writing issues of childrearing in a divorced family, song, story, loss, courage, and hope are told around a line-by-line reading of the Felice and Bordleaux Bryant song “Bye Bye Love,” made popular by The Everly Brothers. All of these works, which represent music through lived experience represented in poetic and story-telling texts, provide glimpses into the value of using artistic autoethnographic methods to reflect upon musical knowing. These new autoethnographies of music experiences begin to confront the issues of representation long ignored by music education research. The exceptions cited here capture the lived experience and reflection on music practice and teaching. But they do not represent this musically. Gouzouasis (2007, 2008) enjoys the use of musical forms as a way of structuring his writing, but as he well knows, talking about music is not music and writing about music is not music. Only making music is music making. Marcus, Fischer, Clifford, Geertz, Bruner, Turner, Dilthey, Gadamer, Leggo, Denzin, Lincoln, Connelly, Clandinin, Richardson, Ellis, Chang, Spry, Pinar and a host of others have re-empowered an ancient tradition of story as scholarship in the postmodern academy. New traditions that incorporate story as scholarship include poetic inquiry, narrative inquiry, fictive accounts, currere, autobiographical and memory research, duoethnography, and performative autoethnographical methods. When these story-tellings are extended to include notions of music  40 as “praxis” (as articulated by the praxial music philosophers), there is theory available to embrace an “em-body-ment” (Elliott, 1995, p. 58) of interpretive and performative autoethnography through musicing. The interpretive turn offers a space to consider music itself as a way of understanding the social through the lived experience of the self. This leads me to the premise that musical renderings and practice can be used as interpretive texts for understanding the musical nature of our storied musical lives. All musical practice is the embodied result of a currere. Musical expression of the self does not come to be in isolation from the social. Rather, music as a cultural and social construction, is an expression of the social related to and through the lived body of the subject as musicer. In the moment of musical making, the musicing subject is performatively entwined in complicated conversation with the past, through the em/bodied present. Musical presence is a result of musical past. I believe performative autoethnography, combined with a notion of musical currere, could be of particular interest to music education researchers. These methods can help us understand the context of our lived musical autobiographies, in and through music, i.e., musically, and use musical performance and practice as the research form, results, and interpretation of lived musical experience—in and through sound. Perhaps it is time for music educators, researchers, and practitioners to reflect on our use of representation and ask the question: Can music itself, and the lived, musical storied lives we lead, be the source and heart of our research inquiries in music education? In the chapters that follow, I will articulate this concept further, and in the end attempt to answer this question.  41 CHAPTER THREE The currere of a worldly folksinger: The social and technological context of songwriting in the 21st century My artistic currere In this chapter I will document a scholarly, reflexive, and biographical account of currere (Pinar, 1975a, 1975b, 2012) that offers a window of understanding into the roots of my songwriting practice. The method of currere is a self reflective and scholarly way of inquiring into the storied experience of our learning and study—the essence of curriculum theory. In order to contextualize my relationship to songwriting for this dissertation, I will seek to recognize some of the artistic threads and experiences that have educated me and place these influences in a historical context. This positioning will be informed by the method of currere, and yet not strictly follow its framework, which Pinar has offered as a loose set of benchmarks rather than a strict method. As Pinar offers in his first utterance of the method: “modifications are welcome as you work” (Pinar, 1975a, p. 6) And so, I will maintain a loose sense of play with the four stages of the method (regressive, progressive, analytical and synthetical) through the integrated exploration of my musical inheritance. I will look to the past—both my personal past and the historical past before my lifetime—and use this examination to inform my present. Documenting my musical autoethnography and genealogy is a way of understanding song as a complex artistic practice informed by the efforts of the many artist/teachers who have influenced me. Understanding my relationship to songwriting requires both a personal and social-historical contextualization.  I look to the musical milieu in which I came to age, and contextualize my musical experience within that historical setting.   42 I commence this chapter with a discussion of song as a cross-cultural phenomenon. I will then contextualize my artistic practice within the context of the North American folk music revival and the growth of the singer-songwriter as folk-poet and political commentator. From this launching pad, I will engage in a biographical discussion of my influences during the formative time of my teenage years. I will conclude with a discussion that is informed by Pinar’s notions of the worldly cosmopolitan educator, and postulate the idea that the folk singers and politicized artists of the last 50 years embody this ideal—it is to this role that I aspire. Also, throughout this chapter, connections will be made to the impact of the emergent technology of audio recording and digital distribution that have developed side by side with my biography of musical practices because the evolution of technology has gone hand in hand with my development as a singer-songwriter. Through this exploration I examine the past to inform the present both from a personal and a historical perspective. An artistic life is one of informed and informal scholarship, embodied in practice, and in complicated conversation with the creative practices of others, both those currently alive and those who have passed before. As I study my memory and the artefacts new recollections are triggered. As I compare the historical records to my memories I find inaccuracies as well as confirmations. I revise memory with understanding. I contextualize my artistic practice in relationship to the artistic practices of others. These threads weave in complicated conversation with my storied lifeline. This is the essence of my artistic currere. What is this thing called song? Songs are a form of music practice in which words are married with melody, pitch, rhythm, beat, and other expressive elements (e.g., dynamic, articulation, timbre) of music. Songs may transmit meanings in multi-modal ways (Frith, 1989, 1986; Levitin, 2008). Musical ideas  43 resonate with linguistic ones to enhance both (Neilsen, 2008). Words and music performed together weave narratives of story using language, rhyme, melody, and meter. The poetic quality of lyric allows ordinary speech to take on multiple meanings. Songs contain musical rhythms and sounds that resonate with our deepest neural anatomy (Sacks, 2008; Levitin, 2007). Song is a creative, engaged and interpretive text in the form of narrative, image, poetics, movement, and sound. Song has social function and pedagogic value. Humans use song to learn, to define communities, to pray, to organize, to soothe the infant and the infirm, to march to war, to protest for peace, and to woo our beloveds. Those functions and values transcend the disciplinary separations of music from other types of knowing. Song is cross-curricular, interdisciplinary, multifaceted, and at the core of our human existence.  It is not too broad a generalization to say that song—as text married to music—may be considered a universal human practice.5 Song practices are found cross culturally and date back as far as the use of language itself (Frith, 1989; Levitin, 2008). Though not all cultures perceive song in the way it has been constructed in the west, there is not a human culture or society that does not have some kind of sound/text in its social practice.  In song, music ideas interweave with linguistic ones to enhance both. Communicating in words as well as in musically organized sounds, songs provide their textual meaning in multiple domains. Lyrics evoke symbolic resonance through language, story, narrative, rhythm, and rhyme. Song is unique in that it is embedded with an irreplaceable musicality. It creates a creative, engaged and interpretive text in the form of poetics, movement, and sound. Song offers a unique expression of emotion, meaning, sentiment and collectivity that cannot be reduced to exposition—to do so denies the song its musical meaning.                                                 5   This is not to be confused with the ill conceived “music is a universal language” cliché. Music is not a universal language … it is more likely that language may be considered as a kind of music.  44 As Goble (2010) demonstrates, music is understood in a context of semiotic interpretation. Sounds are perceived as music by virtue of their interpretive context. Song practices are also culturally defined. As another example, Feld (1990) shows that the indigenous Kaluli people of Papua New Guinea engage in song practices, but their conception of those practices are very different than our own. The Kaluli have an intimate sonic relationship with nature that includes the birdsong they are surrounded by in the jungle in which they live. The sounds of the flow of water and the call of the birds are part of musical life in the songs the people sing. In their songs, what we would call the melody, what they call the “gisalo,” comes directly from birdsong and is of the natural world. The “sa-gisalo,” the words, are brought to the melody by living people. The birds, who the Kaluli believe to be their ancestors, make the music, and the living Kaluli add the words, positioning song as a co-created practice between the living and the dead. Thus, while song is a universal among humans, it is also extremely culturally specific.  Song offers unique opportunities for meta-disciplinary pedagogy and research through music making. Music is distinctively different than the written text. Even when reproduced digitally it is always performative. Praxial music educators use the terms “musicing” and “musicking” (see Elliott, 1995; Small, 1998, respectively) to describe the varied ways we interact with music, through performing, improvising, composing, dancing, and listening. Music is considered by some writers as a unique form of semiotic meaning-making that has a special function in culture (Regelski & Gates, 2009; Goble, 2010). It may be formed out of a community and may be informed by definitions birthed by specific cultural narratives. This interconnected form may then be performed situationally. A songster sings into a context of knowing and  45 reaches the specific situation of its performance. Frith (1989) argues that different songs create, or fantasize, different kinds of communities. In analyzing song words we must refer to performing conventions which are used to construct our sense of both their singers and ourselves, as listeners. It’s not just what they sing, but the way they sing it that determines what a singer means to us and how we are placed, as an audience, in relationship to them. (p. 90) Frith is highly aware of the non-musical information that is communicated within the context of musical genres. A song, for Frith (1996), is not defined merely by the words and music themselves, but also by the signs and symbols that communicate the context of its expression.  And so, to follow Frith’s perspectives, since we may look at the context of song making practices to understand a song’s meanings, I will examine my practice to understand the meaning I give to my song-making practices.  My use of song is informed by my aesthetic historical and cultural location. This location is grounded in the history of the ‘folk revival’ that impacted popular music in North America in the 1950s and beyond. Sonically, this form of music reflects Western and European approaches to music making. The music holds history in its tonalities, and reveals its roots in its audiated harmonic and rhythmic structures. It is primarily based on tonic, supertonic, mediant, subdominant, dominant, and submediant major and minor chord forms with harmonies and rhythms influenced by early immigration and colonial occupation from Europe and later with rhythms from Africa (influenced by the slave trade to North America). It is generally played using notes found in the diatonic scale (i.e., scales composed of seven pitches, separated by whole steps and half steps). Some exceptions to strict diatonic tonality may be found in the “bent” notes of the blues and the sliding sounds of fretless instruments such as the fiddle and  46 traditional fretless banjo. The major, dorian, aeolian, mixolydian, and the “harmonic minor” diatonic modes (a term used synonymously with tonality) are most common. Pentatonic scalar influences are heard in the blues and other music styles that were influenced by blues. Mexican, Spanish, Middle Eastern (e.g., Greek, Jewish, Turkish, Armenian, Lebanese, Egyptian) and other musical influences emerge as migration and immigration in the 19th and 20th century influenced the sounds. North American indigenous music making is only marginally represented if at all. Music from China and Asia is rarely present in the North American folk music genre, but still there are musical grammars used that strongly coincide with the major pentatonic music forms—such as those found in blues and other North American folk music.  Historically, the 20th century North American folk music genre has constructed itself as ethical and socially minded in its lyrical content. Politically progressive acoustic music with meaningful lyrics and themes of social justice, civil rights, peace, and other activisms became synonymous with the term folk music in the 20th century through the great influence of Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, and others in the People’s Song movement (Denisoff, 1971; Leiberman, 1989; Lornell, 2002; Mitchell, 2007; Scully, 2008). The lyrics of this music often deal with social issues and ethics. A song such as “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” captures in words and music a narrative of loss and regret at the horrors of war. It communicates ethical, musical, textual, and social information. In this tradition, songs are a cross-disciplinary form of pedagogy and activism that can be used to address ethical and social issues in a multi-modal form. This follows a long tradition of using song as a form of political critique. “Although not found in all societies, political song has been a staple of European and American political action for centuries” (Hart, 2003, p. 110). Ballads criticizing British colonial oppression and the king of England were published in early newspapers before the American Revolution. Songs such as  47 “Yankee Doodle” and “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” were themes for these early conflicts in North America. Some songs became symbolic standards under which people marched in armies to war and in rebellion to the streets. The use of songs to unite minds, actions, and political movements has a long history in North America and Europe. Not all of these traditions were humanitarian and progressive. “Dixie” was as important to the south as the issue of maintaining slavery. In my artistic, curricular journey, many of my teachers were musicians, song-poets, and singer-songwriters. I was exposed to their work through performance, broadcast, and recording as well as through the written words of lyric—lyrics that I would eagerly learn and sing hunched over my 1960 Gibson LGO steel-string guitar in my bedroom as a teenaged boy. I played a guitar ‘born’ the same year as me. Later I worked, saved and bought myself an old 1910 Orpheum 5-string banjo, a Guild 1960 semi-acoustic electric guitar, and a 1968 blond Fender Telecaster with a Fender amp. The instruments I was drawn to play were always those that allowed for a sung voice to be placed in concert with the sounds of strings and frets. I started to write and sing my own songs. I shared them with friends, in jams, in coffeehouses, and eventually with the world through digital recording and professional releases on tape and CD.  Torino (2008) has identified four fields of musical practice in his analysis of the ethnography of music and social life. “Participatory” music is a term to denote practices that are framed within an inclusive social setting. The goal of this field of musical practice is the “maximum sonic, kinesic participation of all present” (p. 90). “Presentational” music denotes performed music that is aimed at attaining the maximum interest of spectators. Most of Western concert performance forms fall into this category. “High Fidelity Music” refers to audio recordings that are recorded to represent an accurate record of a live performance, or to recreate  48 the experience of live performance through a recorded sound object. “Studio Audio Art” focuses “maximum attention to shaping the sonic object” (p. 91). Studio Audio Art does not attempt to emulate live performance, or even to be expected to be created in live performance. It involves the crafting of an audio creation that stands on its own as an artwork.  As a songwriter who stands, more or less, in the constructed “folk music” tradition of the 20th century, the distinct practice of song I am versed in is performative as well as participatory. It is recorded in audio artefacts that straddle high fidelity music and studio audio art. It is this blending of Torino’s four fields of musical practice that defines my practice. Ultimately though, the musical practices I engage—in performance, jam and sing-along, representational recording, and audio/video art making—are grounded in song. And my use of song is a direct result of those who have gone before me to define what is commonly called “folk music”—more or less. What is this thing called folk? I hesitate when people ask me what kind of music I play. I write songs. So I often say I am a singer-songwriter. But I play folk music. My engagement in songwriting as an artistic practice is influenced by my life as a Canadian-American of Jewish ethnic heritage growing up in the 1960s and 1970s. Those formative years, the first 20 years of my life, were set in a musical environment informed by the folk revival, the emergence of the contemporary song poets, and the use of song as a vehicle for social protest and commentary. This artistic movement was deeply influenced by the technological advancements in recording, broadcast and distribution. As Gruning (2006) has argued, folk music went hand in hand with technological advancements, from the wax cylinders used by early collectors of the Library of Congress to the digital downloads, websites and home recording gear used by current acoustic musicians who organize  49 and network through the Folk Alliance and similar organizations of today. I have internalized and built on these traditions, and they inform my creative work.  There is no question in my mind that influences in my songwriting can be traced to a lineage ultimately grounded, musically and lyrically, in what is known as North American folk music traditions. I play acoustic instruments, including the somewhat antique style of clawhammer on the five-string banjo, and engage in a practice that uses song as ethical documents of social and political commentary. But while the instruments I play and the songs I write are deeply informed by the narrative of folk music established in the 20th century, I hesitate to call them folk songs. The term folk song traditionally refers to songs of anonymous origin, passed down from singer to singer. As Michael Cooney—an artist I followed closely in my teen years when he annually played at the Mariposa Folk Festival—writes, “If you know who wrote it then it’s not a folk song”(Cooney, n.d.). By Cooney’s definition, folk songs are passed down through generations and changed, rewritten, and re-contextualized along the way. It is this collective ownership and authorship that Cooney celebrates. As a songwriter, all my works are of known origin, therefore, by Cooney’s description, they are not folk songs by his strict definition. At first glance, Cooney’s definition seems as anachronistic as the folk songs he loves to play. Is Woody Guthrie a folk musician? Yes. Does he write folk songs? Not according to Cooney. Fortunately, Cooney continues to draw a useful distinction between folk music and folk song. Folk music is a form of participatory practice. It involves people singing together and feeling like the music belongs to them. It may be that singer-songwriters like me are players of folk music, even if what we write are not folk songs.  Cooney’s definition of folk song seems to be resonant with the early days of folklore collecting in the late 19th and early 20th century. Collectors and academics established the term  50 ‘folk music’ to denote musical culture arising from the common people (Gruning, 2006; Denisoff, 1971). Folk songs were songs that were part of the daily life of working people. These songs were distinct from the carefully constructed salon music, orchestral music, opera, and the commercial music of burlesque and the music hall. Folk songs were viewed as being collectively authored over generations. They were songs made by the people, for the people. They were not written down in the notated manuscript of the church and educated upper classes. The songs were sung, taught, changed, and passed along—ear to ear, mouth to mouth, hand to hand. Early collectors such as Francis Child, Cecil Sharpe, and Olive Dame Campbell preserved these folk songs in writing and musical notation (Cohen, 2006; Krim, 2006). Here is where Cooney finds his fellows. “Folk” in this era referred to songs of anonymous origin passed down through aural-oral tradition. But aural-oral traditions changed dramatically in the 20th century with the advent of analog, and later digital, audio recording technologies. Before audio recordings, songs in North America and Europe were distributed as printed lyrics, taught aurally and orally, and usually written in music notation. Many musicians were not readers or writers of either music or linguistic symbols. Musical notation as a practice, though common among upper classes, the church, and educated elites, was not necessary to the music found in the work, social, and teaching songs of the lower classes. In the days before audio recording, the notion that folk songs were passed through aural-oral transmission made some sense. But the technological changes of being able to record music, along with emerging social movements and the broadcast technologies that developed as the century progressed (see Gouzouasis, 2000), has led to the redefinition of the folk music genre.    51 Recording technologies of the 20th century would change our understandings of folk songs as anonymous songs passed down through generations. With the advent of recording technologies it became possible to keep folklore collections as audio archives. First on wax, then on wire, and then on magnetic tape, recordings allowed the preservation of traditions into the collections of educated and often state-funded individuals. Musicologists such as Charles Seeger, John and Alan Lomax, and John Hammond equipped themselves with new technologies and began making audio records of the songs of “the people.” They travelled to communities and recorded music making in its “authentic setting.” From 1939-1942, a number of federally funded projects sanctioned under the New Deal provided the opportunity for the recording folk music.  These projects included the Folk Life Studies of the Federal Writers’ Project, the Federal Music Project, The Folksong and Folklore Department of the National Service Bureau of the Federal Theatre Project, and the Folk Music Archives of the Library of Congress. These archives built to a significant sonic library (Cohen, 2006; Denisoff, 1971). Those recordings include ballads, social songs, work songs, children’s songs, instrumental music, and more. They had a huge impact on popular and non-mainstream culture, particularly in the United States, but also around the world. Archival efforts have resulted in collections now found in the Smithsonian Institute and the Library of Congress. These archives, and the establishment of organizations to collect and preserve them, form the skeletal structure on which the modern notion of folk music in North America is defined.  Arising along side these recording and collecting initiatives, a left wing musical/cultural/political community thrived. This represented the first rumblings of the “folk music revival” which started in a “proletarian renaissance” (Denisoff, 1971, p. 68). The progressive and early Communist influence on the folk music revival in the first half of the 20th  52 century is well-documented (Denisoff, 1971; Leiberman, 1989; Lornell, 2002; Mitchell, 2007; Scully, 2008). Marxism helped the folklorists conceptualize folk songs as not just defined by their authorial anonymity, but also as songs that embodied class issues. Working class songs reflected values, politics and concerns distinct from the art music of the upper classes. This placed folk music as being not only songs of anonymous authorship that had been handed down by oral-aural tradition, but also as a politicized tradition of social protest, education, and agitation articulated in the work of the Almanac Singers, Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, and other pioneers of protest music (Lieberman, 1989, p. xiv).  A major factor in defining the new conception of folk music arose from an organized effort involving the People’s Song movement (Denisoff, 1971). People’s Songs Inc. was an organization that included veterans from the Almanac Singers, folklorists, activists, organizers, songwriters, and performers committed to issues of social justice, civil rights and peace.  Through the People’s Song movement of the 1940s, folk music’s definition expanded and became politicized. Songwriters such as Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, and Lee Hays were on the executive of the organization. People’s Songs Inc.—which also included Alan Lomax, Earl Robinson, Bess Hawes, and Oscar Brand as founding members—began to write, publish and record songs that spoke to labour and social issues. In 1946, Pete Seeger is quoted as saying that the goal of People’s Songs was “to organize all of us that write songs for the labour movement to put our collections of songs into one big cabinet, and to send any union local any kind of song” (Seeger, as cited by Denisoff, 1971, p. 109). This politicization re-conceptualized the folk genre to include songwriters who represented the American proletariat as the Whitman-esque common man.   53 Recording facilitated the documentation and distribution of a new kind of folk. Folk songs could now be preserved and prescribed ownership aurally. Audio recording made the narrow definitions of oral tradition as a defining factor in folk problematic. Many of the songs that came out of the People’s Song movement would not fit the definition of the earlier folklorists, nor that of Cooney as cited above. The folk musicians of the People’s Song movement ascribed authorship and composition title to their songs. Through audio recordings, we can now listen to Woody Guthrie, long dead, singing the songs he wrote word for word and musical nuance for musical nuance. Even though Guthrie didn’t compose his songs in music notation, his recordings allow us to ascribe his authorship to the songs he made up to fit his social and historical times. His songs were neither of anonymous origin nor handed down through generations. The agitator-folk musicians of that era played songs that changed the definition of the genre. Ultimately, this led to our current notion of folksingers as originators of their own material. The narrow definitions of folk broadened as a result of singer-songwriter activists of the 1940s. These changes would eventually find their way into commercialized music in the folk revival of the next decade, and set the stage for the use of song as a political and ethical expression by individual singer-songwriters in current cultures of today.  During the 1950s and 1960s, folk music took a new place in the media drenched world of popular music. During this time, a commercial genre of folk music was created and supported by record labels, radio, and venues. Folk music entered into the popular sphere with groups such as The Weavers, The Kingston Trio, The New Christy Minstrels, the Chad Mitchell Trio, The Limeliters, and a host of others. During the 1950s the commercial folk revival was decidedly less political than the earlier People’s Song movement, largely due to the backlash against artists, intellectuals, and teachers sympathetic to the critique of capitalism found in Communist thought.  54 In fact, soon after The Weavers rather apolitical breakthrough hit “Goodnight Irene,” their members (including People’s songsters Lee Hays and Pete Seeger) were blacklisted for their involvement with the Communist party. The threats of people such as Senator Joe McCarthy kept many silent about their political views.  Folk became commercial and depoliticized. New groups offered a slicked up form of folk. It featured tight harmonies and well-rehearsed arrangements. The harmony singing of the folk revival reveals more influence of glee clubs, choirs, and singing schools in privileged white urban America than of revolution. Many groups regularly performed on television on shows such as “Hootenanny,” which was taped on university campuses across the USA (1962-1963). The Kingston Trio’s first hit, “Tom Dooley,” can hardly be argued to be a song in which the topic is emancipation. But still political undertones were deep within the music. The Kingston Trio’s “Charlie and the MTA” was originally written in 1948 to support a socialist mayoral candidate in Boston (Cohen, 2006, p. 124-125). The red roots underneath the ties, matching outfits, clean harmonies, and professional performances of the folk revivalists showed through.  The new folk revival artists were impacted greatly by collections such as Harry Smith’s Anthology of American Folk Music released by Folkways Records in 1952. This work became a canonical standard. “This eclectic sampling of late 1920s and early 1930s recordings, with extensive, heavily illustrated notes, introduced a large new audience to the Carter family, Clarence Ashley, Buell Kazee, Furry Lewis, Mississippi John Hurt, and Blind Lemon Jefferson” (Cohen, 2002, p. 88). The Anthology, colourfully described by Lankford (2005) as being compiled by a peyote-fuelled Smith with support from Moses Asch of Folkways records (p. 40), was well loved, particularly in college towns and urban centers such as New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Chicago. These old folksongs, which resonated with a romantic conception of  55 a long bygone era, entered the popular imagination through tight and very ‘unfolksongy’ arrangements performed by middle-class, educated, young performers. In these new groups, folk instruments, such as the banjo, guitar and double bass would be iconically featured. Matching outfits and styled looks were common. The old recordings and archives were shined up and brought to market.  Though overtly apolitical through the 1950s, the commercial niche established by the folk revival was essential in facilitating the emergence of politicized popular folk song that was to follow. The work of the People’s Song movement, although not resulting in a proletarian revolution, did pave the way for social commentary and hegemonic challenge in folk music of the 1960s and beyond. As McCarthyism waned and the civil rights and anti-war movements gained strength, song as protest returned, largely through the work of ‘folk’ singer-songwriters. During the 1960s, the civil rights movement and resistance to the Vietnam War gave new motivation for artists to address politics in their craft. The folk revival had carved a commercial niche for slick apolitical folk songs in popular media, but it also piqued interest in the history of the music wherein lay the influence of the People’s Song movement. The legacies of Seeger and Guthrie were reflected in the early work of the young Joan Baez and Bob Dylan (although Dylan has in recent years denied any political aspirations, still his songs reveal the influence of his radical mentors). Buffy St. Marie’s “Universal Soldier” and Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind” both pay tribute—ethically, musically, stylistically, and lyrically—to the songs of the People’s Song movement. The 1960s saw the creation of a huge catalogue of protest songs about the war in Vietnam, the draft, poverty, violence, and civil rights. “We shall overcome” was sung in the streets. Numerous civic and political issues found their way into sung critiques. Eventually the progressive left-wing political use of song carried into rock, pop, soul and blues. This left a  56 legacy that lingered through the decades. In the 1980s, 1990s and into the 21st century songs that address social issues have been written to focus anti-nuclear, environmental, feminist and queer liberation movements (Gruning, 2006).   The folk revival brought acoustic music to the public ear. It re-politicized song as a form of social commentary. In addition to the lasting impact of protest and social commentary in popular song, the music of the 1960s and 1970s made room for the singer-songwriter. As Mitchell (2007) writes, the folk revival extended the genre to “a broad definition, a definition which encompassed everything from the modern musical singer songwriters to the most purest and traditional of named–system revivals” (p.183). She continues, Since the folk revival, the presence of the solo singer-songwriter in the popular music scene has been constant. Not only have veteran Canadian and American solo performers such as Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell and Paul Simon remained phenomenally popular, in many cases continuing to attract huge concert audiences, but they have also inspired subsequent generations of soloists. To this day, singer-songwriter such as Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morrissette, Tracy Chapman, Bryan Adams and Sting continue to be associated with introspective socially conscious lyrics and acoustic instrumentation (or at least a sound which avoids the louder excesses of rock music). (p. 184) After the folk revival the cultural landscape filled with socially minded song-poets. John Lennon, Billy Bragg, Holly Near, Bob Marley, Phil Ochs, Ani diFranco, and Bruce Cockburn come immediately to mind. Those artists built on the protest song traditions through song.  But they also bring a new introspective and personal style to their songwriting that differed than the activist writers of the 1940s. Paul Simon, Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, Joni Mitchell,  57 Leonard Cohen, and other song-poets used poetic and lyrical forms that crossed boundaries and further redefined musical genre. These new singer-songwriters were enabled by recording technology, just like their progenitors in the early part of the 20th century (Gouzouasis, 2000). Recorded albums allowed a new form of distributing songs, one in which an individual songwriter could access a global audience through sound. Their songs, now recorded, found their way into homes and onto turntables.  My storied musical lifeline In reviewing the literature that outlines the historical context of the folk revival, the growth of social commentary in song, and the impact of recording technology on culture, I have attempted to reveal my lifelong influences and the background for why the music I play may be considered as folk music. I have, in the proceeding, tried to outline some of the practices and cultural conversations that led me to songwriting. Born in 1960, I was too young for the folk revival, but I grew up surrounded by song. I was the fifth child in a litter full of baby boomers, and as a late arrival I missed the major thrust of the folk revival. From 1959-1967, my family lived in Chicago, one of the centres of the folk revival. Established in 1957, the Old Town School of Folk Music was an important part of the Chicago music scene and had an influence on the teenagers and adults I met as a child. As Mitchell (2007) tells the story, this school,  provided instrumental instruction, lecture series and a forum for discussion for young folk music enthusiasts, aimed to promote and encourage local talent, and to foster a view of folk music that was diverse and all embracing, with emphasis placed on ‘social learning’ rather than rigorous ‘classical training.’ (p. 78) When I was a child I often heard adults and older kids playing guitars and banjos in these folk traditions at school and in my family. I also listened to my household’s records by Pete Seeger,  58 The Clancy Brothers with Tommy Makem, Buffy St. Marie, The Chad Mitchell Trio, Johnny Cash, the early work of Bob Dylan, The Kingston Trio, and Eric Darling. I also recall listening to records by The Smothers Brothers, folk based comedians and social commentators whose weekly TV show was popular in my childhood home. The psychedelic folk “Surrealistic Pillow” by Jefferson Airplane and Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” shared the shelf beneath the turntable. The Beatles “Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” was also a favourite, setting the stage for my later interest in more contemporary sounds of music. In the early 1970s, when I was just coming into my teenage years, my mother took me to a folk festival. My life changed. At Mariposa, located on the Toronto Islands, a short ferry ride from the downtown core, I discovered a celebratory paradise of musical culture steeped in the folk traditions of the early collectors, the political activist/musicians, and the emerging singer-songwriters. Mariposa was the first folk festival in Canada. It had recently relocated to the downtown core from a remote site north of Toronto. Estelle Klein, who would later become a friend, was the artistic director, and by the time I came along she had conceived of a festival with simultaneous performances and workshops on multiple stages from 10 AM till 8 PM. When the festival moved to Toronto Island it had abandoned its previous large concert star studded format (Usher & Page-Harper, 1977).  Now it was conceived as an egalitarian festival. Although the festival included in its roster of international performers a mix of known and unknown names there were no “headliners” per se. Klein programmed her festival as a mix of workshops and concerts. Workshops would feature a shared stage with fascinating conglomerations of performers—both well-known and obscure. For me, these workshops, along with the jamming that took place all over the site, were the most exciting part of the festival. Others felt the same way. Mitchell (2007) reports that musician Michael Van Dusen’s main recollection of the  59 Mariposa Folk Festival was of the workshops and jams. He recalls, “people sitting around everywhere with autoharps, guitars, and banjos–any number of instruments ... sitting around in absolutely bucolic settings ... under willow trees ... groups of people, unamplified, sitting around and jamming” (Van Dusen as cited in Mitchell, 2007, p. 82).  I was hooked. I took lessons and learned how to strum the banjo using the traditional “frailing” or “clawhammer” method and fingerpick country blues on guitar. From the time I was 13, I regularly attended the weekly Shier’s Coffeehouse near my home in Toronto. Shier’s was an informal musical event every Friday and Saturday night, featuring talents from the Canadian Folk scene of the early 1970s. My parents, in retrospect, were extremely supportive of my newfound passion for acoustic music and song. My father would drive me to and from the coffeehouse on Friday nights. I had the luxurious pleasure of hearing artists like the Grammy award winning Ken Whiteley and his jug band, the Original Sloth Band. I heard blues great Sam Chapman, Canadian singer songwriters Murray McLaughlin and the late great Willie P. Bennett. At Shier’s, I heard Raffi when he was still an adult performer, and Dan Hill before he made it big (some would say he “sold out”). I heard Stan Rogers before he became a Canadian icon. I listened to blues and swing guitarist Jackie Washington, traditionalists such as The Friends of the Fiddlers Green, and folk-fusion songwriters such as Stringband. Pete Seeger, who I met at Mariposa, would remain a big influence throughout my life. Through Pete Seeger I learned about Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, the songs of the civil rights movement, and the old songs and ballads of the Appalachian Mountains. I also developed an admiration for Reverend Gary Davis, Mississippi John Hurt, and Big Bill Broonzy—artists who I learned about from performers such as Michael Cooney (who I heard perform at Mariposa) and Ken Whiteley (the weekly host of Shier’s coffeehouse). Also, during this time I got my ears and  60 hands on a used copy of John Hartford’s seminal album “Aeroplane.” John Hartford’s creative use of country, folk, and bluegrass genres to support his eclectic songwriting blew my mind. He was also one hell of a banjo player. I learned licks and songs, and played along to my records and cassette tapes.  In the years that followed, a study of my record collection would reveal the new and potent influence of singer poets along with traditional folk singers. I recall listening to Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” repeatedly. I learned how to play James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” and “Sweet Baby James.” When I was 16 or so I discovered the music of Bruce Cockburn. Cockburn would end up being as influential in my musical self-discovery as Seeger, Hartford, and Guthrie. In his work, I found a profoundly self-aware construction of song. Cockburn’s guitar playing, informed by country blues, finger-picking styles married with his poetic and introspective lyrics. They touched me deeply. His first albums, released in my early teens, would have a lasting impact on my own compositions. Other contemporary writers began to influence me. I jammed on electric guitar to Neil Young and CSNY (I recall my poor father shouting from his basement home office, “Danny have a heart!” begging me to turn down the volume). Songwriters such as John Lennon and Kate Bush were also on my turntable.  On a fateful evening in the early 1970s, Stringband’s Bob Bossin announced from the stage of Shier’s Coffeehouse that they didn’t have an artist to share the guest set, and if anyone would like to play a song they would be welcome. I jumped at the chance. I was no stranger to performing, as I had been a child actor and participated in theatre since I was eight, but I had not been a music performer. My buddies and I had been jamming on the 12 bar blues. Over lunch we wrote a funny little ditty appropriate to our early teen lives entitled, “The Peanut Butter and Jelly  61 Blues.” I got on stage and performed this to an enthusiastic audience of folkies. Thus, one could say, began my career as a professional songwriter. Technology meets song: The era of affordable recording My music upbringing corresponded with tremendous changes in the recording and distribution of music, and this had broad impact on my musical practices. Vinyl disks, radio waves, television, and tape recording were already common during my childhood. In the next 25 years of my life, the technological advances of the computer age brought new resources to my music learning and practices. In the course of my lifetime, the radio, record player, television, and, cassette tape recorders of my youth transformed into the digital recording and distributing technology I use in my artistic practice today.  As I grew into my 20s, I continued to write and learn songs, perform, and practice. Early on, I became enamoured the recording capabilities afforded by multi-track analog recording. I got my first home four-track cassette-recording machine in 1981. This was remarkable technology. It allowed four tracks of music to be recorded, overdubbing them onto a cassette tape, each on a separate track. The tape ran at high speed to obtain better audio qualities. In the 1980s, I released my first cassettes. These were professionally recorded on digital, mixed to analog cassette, and self-distributed. I sold the tapes from the stage, I used them to get college and public radio play, and they formed the basis of “packages” to send as “demos” to funders, managers, venues, and promoters. As Gruning (2006) describes, new affordable recording made it possible for folk artists to distribute their work on a self-funded low-budget basis, opening doors for an “indy” industry of acoustic singer-songwriters. Later in the 1990s, the digital encoding of sound and image revolutionized recording.  62 In the next decades, digital technology and the Internet would continue to make recording and distributing my original songs increasingly affordable. I began to experience home recording in digital in 1997 on a state of the art Ensonic PARISTM (Professional Audio Recording Integrated System) recording machine that belonged to a friend in the digital audio business. It cost over $5,000 at the time. PARISTM allowed for digital editing, unlimited multiple tracks, notation output of MIDI code, digital processing such as effects, compression, equalization and more. Now, 15 years later, GarageBandTM blows the old PARISTM out of the water in terms of stability, capabilities, sound quality, ease of use and size. The PARISTM audio to digital interface was about two feet square rack mounted unit that weighed a good 15 pounds. It required a plug in card that had to be installed into a tower computer. GarageBandTM is on my iPhoneTM and iPadTM.  Technology such as recording, broadcast, and digitization has made song-practice in the folk genre pervasive in our musical moment of history.  In 1998, I used the PARISTM to record a major solo project, a nine song CD that accompanied my MA thesis. My PARISTM recordings became the first step towards my subsequent debut solo commercial release of original songs on CD, recorded in an affordable basement professional studio on ADATTM (Alesis Digital Audio Tape) technology with Pro ToolsTM. This professional-quality project was affordably self-financed with support of fans and family who helped me hire a producer, musicians, engineers, and pay for pressing. The CD made it to national and international radio and brought me television appearances and gigs at top festivals and venues. Throughout it all, I played banjo the way I had learned from Pete Seeger and John Hartford, I wrote songs like Bruce Cockburn, Woody Guthrie, and James Taylor, and I used my lyrics to address social issues as modeled by the People’s Song Movement. I remained a  63 folkie, even though my band featured horns, drums and back-up singers symbolically indexing cross-over genres of rock and pop.  Folk 2.0: Song goes on-line In recent years, folk music has found a new medium of production and distribution on the Internet. If video “killed the radio star,” digital media eradicated the video star (Gouzouasis, 2000). Digital technology and personal audio has transformed music making and brought distribution and recording to a wide population. YouTube, established in 2005, has quickly become a vast depository of both archival and new musical recordings and videos (Burgess, Joshua, Jenkins & Hartley, 2009). Ease of production, reproduction, and distribution has dramatically changed the way music is created, documented, and shared. The World Wide Web (WWW) has brought connectivity to global grass roots music creators, bringing the means of musical production into the hands of artists. Accessible, digital recording technologies and networked computers enable a remarkable platform for music artists, including musicians working under the umbrella of influence from the folk tradition, to produce and distribute their work. YouTube’s success is largely based on a software innovation. The ability to easily upload video and audio and to encode it into a format that is viable across platforms of browsers and operating systems created the framework in which participatory functioning could take place. YouTube, and other sites like it, have led to an explosion of user-generated content that is forming a new library of cultural products—just as the work of the early folklorists built the collections of songs at the Smithsonian and Library of Congress.  As one example, and one that links us back to our discussion of folk music and protest, let us look at the story of “United Breaks Guitars” (Columbia Business School, 2010). When songwriter Dave Carroll was frustrated by United Airlines over damages made to his guitar when  64 it was mishandled by airline personnel, he wrote a song and made a YouTube video in protest. Carroll’s song is clearly related to the folk songs and protest songs of the People’s Song movement. Using a simple, guitar-based accompaniment with sung lyrics, Carroll’s musical genre could be called “country rock” but it is essentially a slicked up form of folk, with the addition of bass, drums, and other instruments. The use of tonic, subdominant and dominant chords, with a simple diatonic melody using a set rhyming scheme is resonant with hundreds of other songs in the folk tradition of the Americas. Even the verse and chorus structure, in which each verse tells another chapter of the story while the chorus reinforces the message, echoes the “songs of persuasion” used by the People’s Song movement. Carroll’s low-budget “United Breaks Guitars” video spread through the Internet like a rampant computer virus (Columbia Business School, 2010).  The participatory Internet, commonly called Web 2.0 (Dinucci, 1999; O’Reilly, 2005; Wesch, 2008), has facilitated the growth of what I have termed Folk 2.0 (Bakan, 2010). Folk 2.0 is the result of the creative, ethical, and communicative use of networked technology to distribute and document new songs about social issues.  Folk musicians earlier in the 20th century used technologies such as recordings, broadcast, and notation to spread issue-related songs to the population. Carroll and others use YouTube. Although Carroll is far less radical than his progenitors, his work stands in a tradition. Carroll is now an advocate for consumer rights and a speaker on doing business in the age of Web 2.0—his cultural ancestors in the People’s Songs movement might be offended by his interest in the markets of capitalism, but his protest song is still reminiscent of the traditions they encouraged. United Airlines has since made restitution. Song remains a powerful way to effect ethical values, including the values of consumer advocacy. Standing in the tradition of the folk revival, and being influenced by protest song and  65 leaders such as Seeger and Guthrie, new digital artefacts of homemade music are becoming a rich milieu for ethical concerns and issues of social justice. Just as technology was an enabler of the early folklorists to collect and distribute homemade music, Web 2.0 tools are facilitating a new revival of socially conscious songs addressing ethical and political issues.  Other examples of Folk 2.0 can be found in samples from YouTube. For instance, in recent years folk icon Joan Baez recorded a video of herself singing “We Shall Overcome” with a verse in Farsi for the Iranian activists fighting for democracy in their country (Baez, 2009).  David Rovicks’ “Drink of the Death Squads” is another new protest song that has found its way online (2006). Rovicks’ song reveals atrocities suffered by union organizers in a Coca-Cola factory. The song has become popular on the Internet, and Vancouver’s Solidarity Notes Choir filmed a YouTube video of the song in protest of Coca-Cola’s sponsorship of Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics (Workingtv, 2010). Another example, and one that shows the leaky margins of genre, is a video of a flash mob event in support of workers in a San Francisco hotel. A flash mob is a performance piece, usually planned surreptitiously through social media and involving large numbers of amateur participants, that takes place in a public place. Flash mobs are often filmed and broadcast on YouTube. In the song “Don’t Get Caught in a Bad Hotel” a group of activists rewrites the lyrics to Lady GaGa’s song “Bad Romance” to draw attention to a boycott in support of worker’s health care (Prideatworksf, 2010). These are just a few examples of new songs that deal with current social issues being distributed and produced with new technology. Interestingly, the cultural distribution and hegemonic challenge through song is taking place within the context of a corporatized platform of distribution. Google owns YouTube, and though it claims to “do no evil,” Google tracks and engages in surveillance on its users.   66 Folk ‘n worldly cosmopolitans online Amongst the noise and chatter of the Internet are a new breed of worldly cosmopolitan educators (Pinar, 2009) accessing their communities through networks of links, social networking, and digitized cultural products. Pinar (2009) has proposed the model of worldly cosmopolitan educators as a way of conceptualizing the work of public servants who teach through their subjectively engaged artistic and social practices. Worldly cosmopolitan educators are subjectively reflexive individuals in public service who are engaged deeply and passionately with the society they inhabit. Pinar points to the lives of Addams, Bragg, and Pasolini as examples of educators who brought these qualities to their work. They are shown as examples of reflective citizens who passionately expand discourse and understanding within the culture at large, frequently in direct confrontation with hegemony. They use artistic and creative means as well as political action to advocate for their intertwined personal and political causes.  Many folk musicians would seem to be examples of teacher/artist/facilitators who have brought this kind of cosmopolitan worldliness to their work. These activists are “educators through music” as well as music educators. They empower individuals and collectives to critique, protest, and organize in an embodiment of practical ethics. They inspire people to learn to write their own songs, play guitar, play banjo, record music, and to form musical communities and strengthen cultural connections. They are subjectively engaged, and socially present, in their historical moment. Worldliness is a state of ethical interconnectedness. The Internet is giving worldly educators a new venue for ethical influence through songs of persuasion built on the folk tradition. The digital networks help them achieve it. Folksingers have found a new platform. This is the new emerging form of Folk 2.0.   67 Examples from my catalogue In my own work, heavily influenced by the folk tradition, I too have used song as a way of extending personal narrative and music making into social comment. On the CD And Truth is Spectacular (Bakan, 2005) the cuts “84,000 ways,” “The Twin Towers of Babel,” and “How the Mighty Can Fall,” are examples of works of art that engage current issues in song and story. All three songs were written with the intention of providing stories and metaphors that could aid in the cultural reframing of current events, and offering alternative viewpoints and references for our response.6 These songs were released in 2005, the same year that YouTube was established. Increasingly I am now using digital media to distribute the songs I write. Like many Folk 2.0 musicians I maintain a YouTube channel, a Facebook and Twitter account, and make use of media sharing tools such as SoundCloud. This represents a major change in musical practice for individual artists. The digital means now available to record, arrange and distribute musical renderings on a global scale marks a significant transition in musical practice. As I will exemplify later in this dissertation, song can now also be combined with video to integrate image, text, storytelling and scholarship with the music. This is a powerful new format for socially minded musicians, one that is only beginning to show its impact. A song of becoming The present chapter, as it comes to a close, represents a journey, a road taken, a currere. It has offered an exposition of the context for the songwriting practice I engage in from both a historical and personal perspective. I have shown how emergent technology has led to the sharing and deliberation of ethical values as expressed in song and how this empowered the form of the singer-songwriter as a social facilitator and activist. I have demonstrated how these                                                 6  In chapter five the song “Mount Elphinstone” and the video rendering “Where will the fairies dance” are examples of digital media being used to address social issues.  68 emerging trends were built on the work of earlier artist-activists of the 20th century. I have elaborated how those artists can be viewed as examples of worldly ethical cosmopolitan educators for the culture-at-large.  I have placed my practice along side those of my progenitors to reveal their influence.  Perhaps I am not so different from the Kaluli. I play and write songs based on melodies, rhythms, harmonies, and forms taught to me by those from generations long gone. I too sing new words to the music of my ancestors. Perhaps I, like the Kaluli, add the sa-gisalo to the gisalo of the birdsong that surrounds me in the recorded artefacts and traditions they left behind. Maybe that is what folk music has been and can continue to become—making music in the present that is intimately connected to the music of the past. Perhaps all music is folk music. In consideration of my musings, I am still haunted by Cooney’s argument. “If you know who wrote it then it isn’t a folk song” (Cooney, n.d.). As a note to the success of the People’s Song movement, many of the songs Woody and Pete wrote are now part of aural-oral traditions. They are sung at campfires and handed down from person to person. In some cases, such as songs like “If I Had A Hammer” and “Where Have All The Flowers Gone,” they are so ingrained in the public ear that very few know the authorship (both were penned by Pete Seeger, coauthored by Lee Hays in the former, and Joe Hickerson in the latter). Very few of the thousands of voices singing “This Land is My Land” on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at the inauguration of President Obama knew that Woody Guthrie was the song’s original author. Performed by Pete Seeger, Bruce Springsteen and Tao Seeger (see Enrico, 2014), even fewer in the audience knew its original inspiration, as a protest song against private property. The song has entered the folk tradition, and it belongs to everybody now. Perhaps some day, one of my songs could be so lucky.  69 CHAPTER FOUR This is the beauty: A methodology for song as a/r/tographical exploration “I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world.”   (Woody Guthrie as cited in Cray, 2004, p. 285) Part One: A few opening chords This chapter is grounded in a song. This song is the first of six that are offered with this dissertation, and it can be heard (and viewed in performance) in the attached video file that accompanies this dissertation (see: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863). This song, and this chapter’s discussion, frame the methodological context form my use of song as a/r/tographic exploration, which will be further exemplified in the following penultimate chapter of this dissertation, my “Song of Songs.” I will also use this chapter to articulate the narrative and intellectual inheritance that arises from my relationship to, grieving for, and remembrance of my mother: professor and philosopher Dr. Mildred Bakan (1922-2010). “The Beauty of Song” (Bakan, 2010) is a taunt, a celebration, a position paper, and a rallying call. It is both autoethnographic and a/r/tographic, and is an example of song as artistry, research and teaching—an embodiment of a/r/tography. The song is (in part) an exposition on arts-based research theory. It is supported by the knowledge that—with a well-articulated arts-based methodology, a legacy of artistic/scholarly works in university catalogues, and a growing international community of practitioners and advocates—arts-based representation has become a vigorous form of scholarly discourse, especially in education (Leavy, 2009; Prendergast et al., 2009; Sinner et al., 2006; Sullivan, 2010; Van Halen-Faber & Diamond, 2008; Gouzouasis, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2012). Influenced by North American 20th century folk music (especially protest songs and “songs of persuasion”), “The Beauty of Song” is a celebratory and uppity  70 statement that musically affirms through practice a form of artistic scholarship that is communicative, visceral, musical, playful, sensuous, interactive, and creative. Artist/researchers/teachers have wiggled out a space to sing, dance, act, write, sculpt, and paint our inquiries in artistic and poetic forms (Leavy, 2009; Prendergast et al., 2009; Sinner et al., 2006; Sullivan, 2010; Van Halen-Faber & Diamond, 2008). This song, and the performance moment captured in the attached video, celebrates that wiggle room. As such, this song is a personal anthem of liberation that sings proudly into the negotiated space of scholarship to claim an artist’s voice in the academy.  I wrote the song “The Beauty of Song” as part of an a/r/tographical inquiry undertaken in a graduate seminar taught by Rita Irwin during my second year of doctoral studies in Curriculum and Pedagogy at the University of British Columbia. The attached video is a documentation of the “birth” of the song. It is not a perfected artistic rendering, but rather a field note that informs my research process. The song and video represents a transitory moment in my a/r/tographical queries into song as research and pedagogy. Poetic inquiry (Prendergast et al., 2009; Prendergast, 2009; Prendergast, Gouzouasis et al., 2009), lyrical inquiry (Neilsen, 2008) and the multiple expressions of a/r/tography (Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Sinner et al., 2006; Springgay et al., 2008) informed me. Gouzouasis (2006, 2007, 2008. 2012), Lee (2004) and Gouzouasis and Lee (2002, 2007) assisted in conceptualizing the unique challenges and opportunities offered by music as a/r/tographical research.  This song documents a transitory curricular moment in my scholarship process. The autoethnographic journey represented is one in which an artist seeks to understand and occupy the theoretical domain of arts-based academic research in an emergent identity as a new doctoral student in education. This transition from artist to researcher is important to the study of arts- 71 based educational research and a/r/tography. Artists have been called to join the research endeavour and are empowered to create artistic works with recognition of the scholarship embodied in what Richardson has termed Creative Analytical Practices (2000).  In response to this call, artists are seeking ways to think of themselves as researchers, just as researchers are repositioning their identities as artists (Bickel, 2005). Through this song, and the reflective prose here offered to support it, I attempt to articulate and celebrate the blurring of the boundaries between the roles of artist, researcher, and pedagogue.   The rendering of this work, as documented in the digital video attached and in this essay/artist statement, is three-fold: (1) I engage an exegetical exposition of autobiographical and artistic knowing in and through song; (2) I offer a poetic and practice–based musical/scholarly rendering that brings to bear the challenges and compromises faced by artists as they negotiate the creation and articulation of academic knowledge; and (3) I engage in a theoretical inquiry toward understanding the unique qualities embodied in song as a/r/tographical exploration. To these three ends I will first explore the autobiographical/autoethonographical contextualization of this project, I will then provide some context for understanding lyric, song, and songwriting in the North American folk music tradition, and I will conclude with a close read of segments of the song and reflect upon the theory behind song as research, practice, and pedagogy. Ultimately, this exploration and articulation grounds the emergent methodology for the use of song found throughout this dissertation.  Part Two: The singer grieves, the theory sings A/r/tography is seen as a form of lived practice-based inquiry (Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Sinner et al., 2006; Springgay et al., 2008). Inquiries are formed as a questioning, a curiosity, a troubling, which ask us to “live the questions” as Rilke directed his young poet to do (1903/1986,  72 p. 34-35). The term “inquiry” provides for embodied open-ended research processes. In an a/r/tographical inquiry, we enter the process and bear witness to what emerges as it influences our thinking, writing, and art-making. This process changes our thoughts and practices, and this, in a hermeneutic circle of creation and interpretation, informs our work. We share our learning with others without diminishing the artistic rendering as a meaning-making process. Inquiry does not assume a simple question to which we are finding a simple answer, but allows multiple, complicated, simultaneous, and even contradictory viewpoints to be held. “The Beauty of Song” documents an a/r/tographical inquiry focused on issues around the liminal personal/professional transition from musician/pedagogue to artist/researcher. The song uses the craft and art of songwriting and performance, informed by my many years of practice, to form and understand the pedagogical and theoretical results. As artists are called to bring their practice to the academic research process, a common thread of identity transition marks many of our journeys—especially those of musicians (Gouzouasis, 2006. 2007, 2012; Lee, 2004; Gouzouasis & Lee, 2002). My story represents one such case—one in which an artist/musician seeks to theorize and understand their work in the context of scholarship. My engagement with doctoral studies followed three decades as a professional musician, theatre artist, and arts educator. I did not come to my graduate work fresh out of college, but rather as a seasoned performer and cultural worker in mid-life.7 This song documents my journey of identity as I transitioned in my creative and learning process from artist to scholar.  Another point of reference is that I wrote the song in the months following my mother’s death. The loss of my mother is an underlying theme in the work, and as a result, the song embodies both my journey as a novice scholar and in the grieving of a beloved parent. But “The                                                 7  For more on my artistic career please see www.dannybakan.com.  73 Beauty of Song” is more than just a personal song; it is also a song about theory. This topic of theory is appropriate to my grieving process. My mother, Mildred (Millie) Bakan was Professor Emeritus of philosophy and social science at York University in Toronto, Canada. Her areas of study included phenomenology and hermeneutics. Her interests were diverse, but they centred on understanding the phenomenon of being, exploring interpretation, and the embodiment of ethical action. She wrote on the relationship between psychology and philosophy as fields of study and criticized behaviourist reductionism (1962). She wrote on Husserl and temporality (1978), about subjectivity and insight (1998), and on education and the work of Martin Buber (1984). Millie revelled in art, music, and story. She loved what she might have called the “being-ness of being.” Her work interweaves with mine, creating a narrative legacy that continues to connect us. A detailed discussion of Millie’s work is beyond the scope of this current chapter, but she would have appreciated a/r/tography, and was fluent in the philosophical traditions on which a/r/tography is built. The chorus and musical coda of the song repeats:  Mama oh mama can’t you see I’m gonna sing my way to a PhD. These lines are sung in celebration and acknowledgement of the work she and her generation did in creating the philosophical foundations for interpretive and creative research practices. Thanks for the blessing and the methodology says the song, I’m gonna sing my way to a PhD. My discovery process included my grieving, as well as an illumination of theory that connected me to my mother—and the philosophy of a/r/tography—through song in practice. It was the initial intention of this project to use song to explore issues arising from my extension from the social role of artist/teacher into that of researcher. But I began to see, through my autobiographical troubling of identity and the experiences of my grieving, that song itself was a unique form of arts-based educational research. I found myself searching for an understanding of  74 song as method, and discovered a rich –and largely unexplored—domain that connected song, autoethnography, narrative theory, poetic inquiry, and theory to community through music. Through this work I have come to believe that song offers unique opportunities for meta-disciplinary pedagogy and research. And so, this song, along with this essay/artist statement, in addition to bearing witness to my grieving and transition from artist to teacher to researcher, is also offered as a beginning articulation of using song in a/r/tographical music research, in honour of my mother. “The Beauty of Song” is an autoethnographic song about theory…but it is also a song about song as a/r/tography.  Part Three: If I could say it I wouldn’t have to sing it As discussed earlier (in Chapter Two), according to the praxialists, music is an action-based, and extremely unique, form of situated semiotic meaning-making (Regelski & Gates, 2009; Goble, 2010). And, as discussed in Chapter Three, songs are a form of embodied musicing in which words are married with melody, pitch, rhythm, form, and other expressive elements (e.g., dynamic, articulation, timbre) of sound.  Gouzouasis (2007, 2008, 2012) shows that musical knowing can, and does, inform its own unique form of scholarship. Taking an amodernist approach, Gouzouasis points to form itself as holding theory and theory being the basis for form. Musical forms—such as a sonata, a fugue, or even the macro and micro musical structures found in “free” improvisational jazz—articulate musical knowing through and of the form of that knowing (Gouzouasis, 2007, p. 38). The music makes sense of the music. For him, the music form informs the form of the research and the form of the research informs the form of the music. Echoing the organizational form of a musical fugue, Gouzouasis and Lee (2002) use narrative, poetry, exposition and dialogue to point to the resonance of music as a means for getting at “the truth.” Gouzouasis writes: “I always find  75 truth in music.… Whether in music composition, music improvisation, music listening, or music performance; whether I’m working solo or in a group, music has always provided me with truthful insights” (p. 135). Given the fluidity of knowing in our postmodern context, Lee and Gouzouasis (2002) discuss how musicians and the action of making music creates and nurtures a resonant social space of meaning. As Gouzouasis (2007) makes clear, the kind of knowing and representation that is contained in music cannot be reduced to other forms of expression. This resonance of truth is not unique to music, though musical truth is unique. This theoretical stance acknowledges that music, as music, contains and communicates meanings that lose their “truth” when reduced to non-musical forms. As stated earlier, Gouzouasis (2007, 2008) enjoys the use of musical forms to structure his writing, but writing prose is not music. I will say it again: only music is music. Although I stand with Gouzouasis in his articulations of the essential irreducibility of music as music, one can also look at song semiotically, which is not contradictory to his amodernist perspective. As Tagg (1997) and Goble (2010) have articulated, musical sounds are interpreted through a culturally situated process. And for Frith (1989), as previously discussed, a song is not defined merely by the words and music themselves, but also by the signs and symbols that communicate its context. And so, though I am in agreement with Gouzouasis that only music is music, and only music can contain musical meaning, there is a context to my artistic practice (as articulated in Chapter Three). The music I play has a long tradition of engaging humanitarian artists who use words and music together to learn, teach, inquire, and share. This history and the progressive activist work of “The People’s Song Movement” embraced the combination of words and music to craft “songs of persuasion” for the labor, civil rights and social justice movements (Denisoff, 1971; Lieberman, 1989). This legacy influenced the works  76 of song/poets such as Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Ani Defranco, Bruce Cockburn, Buffy Sainte Marie, Leonard Cohen and a host of others (Gruning, 2006). “The Beauty of Song” and many of my other works, reveal the influence of these kinds of socially engaged songs. This song uses words and music to make a case for a practice that challenges the hegemony of traditional academic discourse. The lyric uses scholarly language and adapts it to melody, rhyme and rhythm to act as a song of persuasion.  Also, as influenced by the folk revival tradition, the performance of “The Beauty of Song” encourages the audience to sing along—in fact the song is composed to require it. This is true to my mentors: the artist/activists of the folk music revival strove to break down the walls between performer and audience by celebrating singing and making music together in a live concert setting, engaging the audience in collective music making through words and music. Recordings of Pete Seeger in concert throughout the 1960s feature him leading thousands of voices in harmony together. This tradition found moments of historical significance during the civil rights movement, the protests against the war in Vietnam, and even during the first inauguration of President Barack Obama, in which Pete Seeger (at age 90) joined Bruce Springsteen in leading the crowd gathered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial Building in singing Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land” (Seeger, Seeger, & Springsteen, 2009).  In encouraging the audience to sing along, to take ownership of the musical moment, the musician—who now stands as facilitator, pedagogue, and activist as well as artist—offers a narrative musical form through which community can be strengthened, defined, nurtured, and reinforced. This is the role Seeger and others stepped into and it is this tradition that supports me. It is this music into which I place my voice. And it is this tradition that supports the celebratory sing-along documented in the attached video artefact.   77 This song was sung for a community of a/r/tographers. It is a song for a specific community at a specific time. It is offered as an anthem, one that reaches beyond my story, to interweave with the story of others—the specific others in my graduate seminar, and now my readers in this journal—a community of practice defined by our theoretical and practice-based interest in a/r/tography. It stands as a performative lyrical expression that is musically bonded with musical and scholarly history, community, and the ethical moment of my subjective present. It is a song to express my lived experience, and one crafted to give lyrical voice to the experience of others in the context of a community of practice (Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Irwin, 2008; Springgay, Irwin, Kind, 2008; Wenger, 2006). A song may be formed out of a community and may be informed by definitions birthed by specific cultural narratives. This interconnected enacted text may then be performed situationally. This social and pedagogical knowing is precisely what I aspired to demonstrate and embody in the performance of “The Beauty of Song.” As Frith (1989) informs us, song allows conventional language to be used in poetic ways. In “The Beauty of Song,” the unconventional academic language is rhymed and timed. In doing so I reclaim the language as a creative expression. With the addition of music—with its tones, timbres, rhythms and pulse, adding layers to the multiple meanings of the lyrical text—a new specter of knowledge making can be explored building on poetic inquiry and written creative prose.  Part Four: Resonances This is the beauty. This is the beauty of song. This is the beauty of song it resonates.  This is the beauty of song it resonates so. This is the beauty of song it resonates so long…   78 Lyric, and music itself, are forms of embodied knowing that stand in contrast to expository prose (Bresler, 2008; Neilsen, 2008). Lyric allows ordinary speech to take on multiple and metaphoric meanings. Lyric makes words unfold over time in musical ways. The opening lines of the attached song: this is the beauty of song it resonates so long, cannot hold its layers of meaning without the resonance of a sung lyric. As Leavy (2009), writes:  space surrounds every musical note, and singers and musicians can manipulate or sculpt these spaces… to produce the desired audience response and, correspondingly, impart meaning. The transformation of musical composition into audible sound thus unleashes its potential to access or feel emotions as well as to elicit emotional responses from listeners. (p. 114)  The opening of “The Beauty of Song” contains a lyrical build. Each line stands on its own before being added to in the next musical phrase. This poetic use of lyric allows new meanings to emerge from each set of words. “The Beauty of Song,” communicates multiple layers of concurrent meanings that unfold lyrically and musically over time. In order to offer thin slices of my a/r/tographical inquiry in practice, I will look, phrase by phrase, at the opening section of the song (knowing full well, that any interpretation I offer is insufficient to the multitude of experiences the sung lyric offers to listeners).  --- This is the beauty. The musical introduction to the song uses first position triads and rhythmic strumming to establish the musical frame of the song. Sonically this moment establishes musical elements, grammars and symbols that arise from the North American folk music tradition described above. It uses a diatonic scale and a simple tonic, subdominant, dominant (i.e., I, IV, V) chord  79 progression to create the harmony. It is performed on a steel string acoustic guitar and felt in duple meter (with a 4/4 meter signature). The use of a capo at the fifth fret transposes the sound of the instrument so that G chords sound as C chords, giving the guitar a lovely treble tone. My instrument’s body, made by world-renowned luthier Linda Manzer (Toronto) of aged and played hand cut spruce and rosewood, vibrate and resonate under my touch.  The first line of lyric, and the music that supports it, embody multiple meanings. The sonic vocabulary and instrumentation semiotically represent the folk music tradition of my artistic practice (i.e., this song would have been a very different semiotic experience if say, it was performed with a heavy metal quartet of drums, electric throbbing bass and two electric guitars with screamed atonal vocals or was written as a European style art-song for piano and trained classical voice). The musical and imagistic information informs the listener, and places the context for the work. The lyrical line points directly to the topic of aesthetics: beauty. Perception of beauty, however defined, is a trait of our species, perhaps offering evolutionary advantage (Dissanayake, 1992). Music is formed in semiotic expressions that hold meaning based on interpretation of sonic signs and symbols (Goble, 2010; Tagg, 1999). Perceiving these sounds as beautiful requires aesthetic judgment. This judgment is grounded in a multitude of practices, narratives and experiences, which inform perception.   The words point the listener to beauty itself. They point to multitudes of narratives about beauty that are offered by scholarship and lived-experience. Ultimately, the narratives become less (and more) specific, as the opening lines establish their musical meaning. There is a cascade of sound in temporal acoustic space; the resonance of the musical mind takes note.  --- This is the beauty of song.  80 Here the lyric becomes self-referential. It informs the listeners that song itself is the object of the aesthetic statement. As shown above, song is musical text. It is a unique form of cultural expression marrying lyric and music. There is a power inherent in the articulation of words entwined with music. Frith (1989) believes that song allows conventional language to be used in poetic ways through the emotional and musical expression of human voice. Neilsen (2008) cites lyrical knowing as a form of embodied writing that reaches across the divide of the other to form ethical relationships. Gouzouasis (2012) believes that elements of music such as tonality, meter, and form play a powerful role in shaping music as knowing. Bresler (2008) points to musical composition and performance as forming Buberian I-thou relationships in which we become a whole with the other. All of these thinkers support the conclusion that the combination of music, music performance and lyrical expression through song are a transformative means of human knowing and communicating. The song itself points to the song itself.  --- This is the beauty of song it resonates. Music is made up of resonating vibrations. The pitch A, which resonates at 440 vibrations per second, has harmonic relationships to overtones that vibrate at different frequencies. Some of these resonances create familiar sounds to our ears. For Western ears, influenced by “la contenance Angloise,” we hear the harmony of thirds and major sixths as aesthetically pleasing. This pleasure is informed by cultural bias that informs our judgment, but is also grounded in the vibrational resonance of the sound itself.  One can also speak of resonance in a different manner. “Resonance” is not only to the musical phenomenon, but also can be found in the shared cultural experience of a community of  81 practice and in the limbic brain connections formed as we engage in musicing together. When we gather around song a collective is drawn together. We resonate in our values, our stories, our interests, beliefs, and our epistemologies. Our communities are formed by a narrative resonance. Biologically, through this connection with others we achieve limbic resonance—literally syncopated stimulation of our brain activity (Lewis, Amani, & Lannon, 2000). The symbolic, emotional, spiritual, playful, metaphoric and dream-like neural stimulation of the music experience draws us to each other. Music is a whole brain activity, with rhythms and tone creating a light show of neural response in both listeners and performers. Musical rhythms resonate with our deepest neural anatomy; musical meaning making is biological as well as semiotic (Frith, 1989; Sacks, 2008; Levitin, 2007, 2008). The deep regions of our brain respond to patterns of rhythm associated with movement and coordination (Levitin, 2006). The neo-cortex processes words, symbol systems, patterns, and tone. The stimulation of the neo-cortex through the signs and symbols of words and music creates an emotional/symbolic connection with the limbic brain. It is the limbic system that triggers feelings, images, memories and deeply imprinted patterns. The limbic brain is stimulated by intimacy with other limbic brains. It is this part of our brain that is at play when we weep, or laugh, or are moved by a song or a touch. Music reaches into us and creates a resonance, which allows us to know that we are not alone. Our beings, mind, and body resonate together, literally and metaphorically, through song. --- This is the beauty of song it resonates so. Here the musical and lyrical meanings coalesce into a single statement.  At this point in the song, the listeners have begun to be familiar with the melody. As each new word is added the meaning of the phrase transforms. The music remains constant. This frames each word in  82 unspoken rhythms. This line—this is the beauty of song it resonates so—hovers expectantly over the last note of the phrase. It rings over the silence revelling in the unspoken. This musical expectation, hearing a silence where the ear craves something to fill it, allows this lyric to hang deliciously in the air. --- This is the beauty of song it resonates so long. Now the listener is given resolution in the complete lyrical line. This line spans the entire space of the now familiar melody. At this point the performance, as represented in the attached video document, comes to a pedagogical moment. This complete line is repeated. In terms of music pedagogy, this introductory section was teaching the audience their “part” of the song. By the end of the song the listeners will be singing this line with the singer. Having offered the instruction in a stepwise progression, adding more lyrics as the musical phrase is repeated, the singer has embedded the musical information in the listenership. With each singing of the repeated chorus, the singer/facilitator (i.e., artist-pedagogue) will ask the listeners to sing more and more of the chorus, allowing it to build into three distinct harmonizing parts by the end of the song. This will build until the entire room, and a community of practice of a/r/tographers, will sing the song together. If you listen closely at the end of the video, you can hear someone say “I can see we have a class song now.” Following this there is laughter, and then someone else says “the a/r/tography song.”  This sense of the song being one that belongs to the community is not unintentional. As an artist, I wrote this song within the context of expectation of performing it for a group of a/r/t/ographers. I used language in the lyric that would resonate with this community. My training as a performer/musician/facilitator who uses song as a way of entertaining, teaching, and  83 celebrating communities informs my work. The pedagogical and musical introduction of the song laid the scaffold for the community to sing together during the finale and musical coda. The facilitative pedagogical progression that unfolds in performance is informed by years of practice and hundreds of hours of stage time. This embodied knowing through music in practice in the context of community is what provides the very richness of resonance that is addressed in the lyric.  Part Five: A few verses on theory Gonna sing my way to a PhD It feels like a clash of identities Who I am and who I’ll be And how they find their harmony.  Sing my way to a PhD To embody arts based inquiry There’s art at the heart of the academy And you can sing all the way to a PhD  Emerging from phenomenology And hermeneutic epistemology Is a practice-based inquiry That forms around a/r/tography  There’s interpretation in what we know and see And this informs my methodology I’ve attached the footnotes in solid APA And persevere with Gadamer and trace him to today.  An interstitial flexibility Can deconstruct identity And life happens in spite of me And I find myself at university.  We are all becoming in our quest to understand. The medium holds the meanings in praxis of the hand So this is poetic inquiry  That embraces the liminality.   84 A/r/tography enables a space for musical and sung lyrical expression to be understood as a form of research inquiry marked by relationship, creativity, play, performance, and lived practice. Hermeneutics, phenomenology, feminist thought, postcolonial theory, postmodern analysis, and post-structuralism have coalesced to call us to question positivistic and post-positivistic assumptions about research and forge new kinds of scholarship (Denzin, 1997, 2003; Denzin & Lincoln, 2000; Sparkes, 2002; Irwin & Springgay, 2009; Sullivan, 2010; Popkewitz, 1997). Theorists have charged the academy to recognize that art-making can stand, not only as a tool for more “legitimate” forms of research, but also as a valid and worthy form of knowing in its own right (Neilsen, 2008; Richardson, 2000; Gouzouasis & Lee, 2002; Gouzouasis, 2007; Gouzouasis; 2008).  An array of examples of arts-based educational research has begun to fill the libraries, setting the stage for on-going and further exploration (Van Halen-Faber & Diamond, 2008). A/r/tography as a method has emerged from this theory and practice to articulate the connected and situated place of artists as researchers and teachers. The roles of artist, teacher and researcher are relational. A/r/tography focuses on the connected spaces in-between these roles and the communities of practice in which they emerge (Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Irwin, 2008; Springgay, Irwin, Kind, 2008; Wenger, 2006). Knowledge is understood as unfolding in a participatory discovery process. The teacher is not separate from their students. The artist is not separate from their audience or their work, and the researcher is not separate from the epistemological context for the knowing and the field of accumulated knowledge.  Much of my theoretical thinking about a/r/tography is influenced by hermeneutics. Hermeneutics calls us to be acutely aware of the role of interpretation in the subject/object relationship. The concept of hermeneutic, originating in biblical studies and expanded into  85 philosophical thought by Gadamer, entwines text and reader in a circular relationship (Gallagher, 1992). The text informs the reader, who transforms the text with reflection, and this new meaning is then brought back to the reader. The use of the hermeneutic circle, in which knowledge continues to develop nuance and meaning as it is revisited, is a method to account for the interpretation in our representations. Hermeneutics pays attention to the silences and the spaces in between the known and the knower.  We become the subject of our own discovery.  The use of art and poetic language celebrates the unique one-of-a-kind knowledge that arises from interpretation.  Each glimmer of understanding is unique to the particulars of the “fecundity of the individual case” (Jardine, 1998). It is in the specifics of the instance that we begin to surmise the universals embodied in the particular. There’s interpretation in what we know and see, says the lyrics of my song, and this informs my methodology.”  I am also theoretically supported by understandings of poetic and lyric inquiry. Prendergast articulates poetic inquiry as “ … an artistic practice carried out within a research framework that cannot and must not diminish the critical/aesthetic qualities of these poems as poetry” (Prendergast, 2009, p. xxv). “The Beauty of Song” straddles, in true interstitial fashion, Prendergast’s (2009, p. xxii) categories of “Vox Theoria” (poems in response to literature/theory in a given field) and “Vox Autobiographia/ autoethnographia” (researcher voiced poems that are written from field notes, autobiographical, or reflexive writing). It is both a song about theory, and an autoethnographical exploration of my identity as an artist and researcher. Lyric inquiry (Neilsen, 2008) articulates a methodology for the use of alternative forms of language for the documentation of knowledge. Lyric inquiry is “informed by aesthetic and philosophical principles of writing; it is based on a conviction that using expressive and poetic functions in language creates the possibility of a resonant, ethical, and engaged relationship between the  86 knower and the known” (Neilsen, 2008, p. 94). As a methodology, lyric inquiry celebrates the expressive, poetic, and aesthetic as a means of communicating the process and results of inquiry. “It is a phenomenological process and practice that embraces ambiguity, metaphor, recursiveness, silence, sensory immersion, and resonance ...” (Neilsen, 2008, p.96). Neilsen invokes the Greek god Hermes to find the origins of the word lyric.  Hermes, the winged-foot messenger who carries communications from place to place and person to person, birthed music by creating a lyre, a stringed instrument from a shell of tortoise and gut. This suggests an intimacy between music, lyric, interpretation, poetic language, and divine communication. The sharing of deeply personal and imaginative lyrical expression facilitates a way of knowing each other. It makes us move, laugh, cry, think, and wonder. Lyrical language is personal and imaginative. It “allows us to hear the music of the other” (Neilsen, 2008, p. 95). Lyric inquiry enables possibilities for the use of alternative forms of language for the explorations of knowledge. This is not a new approach to knowledge, as poets, songwriters and lyricists have long used this form. What is new is the challenge to the privilege of expository discourse as the primary means of learning, research and documentation of discoveries in social science. Lyric inquiry allows for the possibility that music with sung text, such as exemplified in “The Beauty of Song,” can be seen as a unique way of expressing knowledge. The resonance of song is discovered in the combination of words with music as a practice-based method. The words of a song only reveal their resonant meanings when they are lifted from the page into voice in the context of music. A song must be sung to be a song and only a song is a song.  Part Six: A reflective repetition and embellishment My practice is informed by years of doing, by praxis (Gouzouasis, 2006). I have released and toured two CDs of original songs, written music and words for numerous artistic projects  87 (theatre and dance), played in several professional bands, and sung on hundreds of stages. I have self-identified as an artist since I was about 18 years old. Song—the interweaving of lyric and music—has been my primary mode of creative expression and public discourse. As I say in the lyric to “The Beauty of Song:” the medium holds the meaning of the praxis of the hand. In less poetic terms, the performance and writing of this song itself reveals the practical knowing that is done through the musicing. I bring to my playing years of effort towards the performance of music in action. I have, as we musicians say, “chops.” I am fluent in song.  Throughout my early years of doctoral studies, I struggled with mastering the expository form of writing. As one fluent in lyrical forms of expression, I found my expression under siege by the dominant expository argumentative prose of academic study. More than once I contemplated abandoning scholarship—uncomfortable with having my words and ideas colonized into essay format. The scholarly form felt like an abandonment of my aesthetic sensibilities to embrace the normalizing types of text found in academics. It forced me to ask about the requirements of scholarship. Must knowing and theory be expressed in expository prose? Where do I, and my form of artistic and lyrical expression, fit? By writing and singing a song about the theory that supports singing a PhD, I sought to embrace the connected roles of artist/researcher. The song is imbued with my musical skills, aesthetic and scholarly understandings, and poetics through praxis. It exemplifies how research can be artistic, and how an artist can be scholarly. It feels like a clash of identities I sing. “The Beauty of Song” is a “song of persuasion” that serves as an example to prove that identities can merge—that my songwriting practice is scholarship. It stands to celebrate interconnected ways of being enabled and acknowledged by a/r/tography. More importantly this creative inquiry has enabled me to see myself become whole. Gouzouasis calls on us to remove the slashes, to be an  88 artistresearcherteacher (2007, 2012). Artography is articulated not to define our work into new categories and delineations, but to be whole—to celebrate the being-ness of knowing through artistic phenomenological and interpretive process. My inquiry revealed to me that I have always been artist and a scholar. As art-making takes its rightful place as a valid form of embodiment of knowledge, I am able to bring my years of artistic practice to the scholarly project and enhance and contribute to its development. By recognizing the subjective and community aspects of research, and by extending its realm into creative expression, the scholarly project can resonate with greater clarity, truth, and a sense of play. I can sing my way to a PhD because this form can find a place at the academy. This revelation is foundational to the findings of this dissertation, which will be further explicated in the next chapter. Musicianship is a form of scholarship and song functions simultaneously as the method, results and interpretation of research. As an artistresearcherteacher I also engage my community in this learning. As shown in the attached video, this project is musically as well as theoretically pedagogical. The final section of the video is a participatory sequence. I stop the performance to teach/facilitate the repeated lines to/with the audience/participants/learners. The parts sung by the audience form a base on which the lead voice can melodically improvise while chanting the ‘hook’ or chorus of the song. It is a musical, linguistic text that carries meaning not only for the singer as an artist, but also for a community of practice (Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Wenger, 2006).  Part Seven: Coda In this chapter a complex and multi-dimensional bricolage has formed/informed an emerging theory of song as artographical inquiry. I have begun to frame, in prose and song, the methodological and philosophical stance for further exploration into art making, songwriting, music education, curriculum, and pedagogy. “The Beauty of Song” arises out of qualitative arts- 89 based research theory and combines it with the artistic practice of songwriting. It demonstrates the unique potential of song to render meaning and enhance knowledge-communities. The result is an attempt to embody research through practice, and integrate music, lyric, story, and exposition to display the theory in action.  This methodological stance weaves autobiographical as well as theoretical narratives in lyric and song. The artistic and scholarly practices that have emerged have provided a musical and lyrical tool for exploration, research, and dissemination of research. I stand supported by my maternal, musical, theoretical, and personal mentors. I have centered my discussion on a songmaking practice documenting the transitional, and yet ultimately integrated, identity of artistresearcherteacher. This inquiry has outlined the methodology behind my conceptualization of music, and particularly song, as artographical creating, knowing, and teaching. I have found the theory, and it would seem that one can sing all the way to a PhD. For many reasons, this is a good thing—a celebratory moment.   .   90 CHAPTER FIVE A song of songs And this is the beauty of song it resonates so… Prelude In the second chapter of this dissertation, I offered an overview of the theoretical framework that supports the practice of autoethnographical and other interpretive qualitative methods used by social science researchers in the postmodern 21st century academy. I discussed how in our current “moment” of research we are beyond the experimental stages of representation and fully immersed in an era where the forms of qualitative inquiry are open ended, interpretive, creative and seek verisimilitude rather than traditional forms of validity (Richardson, 2000; Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). As stated earlier, qualitative research texts can be performative, autobiographical, discursive, artistic, imagistic, roundabout, and collaged. They may follow traditional academic styles or they may not. They can be poetic, analytical, playful, expressive, or practice-based. Qualitative researchers have been compared to jazz musicians, quilt-makers, and “bricoleurs” (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011, p. 4). Qualitative researchers frequently blend prose and poem, image and text, numbers and words. Their work can be collaged, artistic, or presented as a mixed up ‘métissaged’ blend of all or any of the above.  In Chapter Two, I also contextualized the current state of research in the field of music education in terms of a general lack of attention to issues of representation and interpretation, citing scholars who opine on the ill preparedness of the majority of music educators to theorize about theory in the context of postmodern scholarship. I went on to suggest that the understandings of lived experiences of music making might potentially be researched in artistic, personal, and ‘musical ways’ through the inclusion of models of inquiry such as performative  91 ethnography, poetic inquiry, autoethnography, artography, and other Creative Analytic Practices (Richardson, 2000). I concluded that chapter with an emergent concept that music making itself represented a lived moment of Pinar’s concept of currere: a complicated conversation of autoethnographic and musical knowing between the past, the present, and the future (Pinar, 1975/2012).  In Chapter Three, I offered several major themes, building on the lived learning path of currere (Pinar, 1975, 2012). First, I discussed the broader historical and sociological context of song practices. Second, I positioned my own songwriting within an artistic and historical context, and trace the connections between my music and the influence of socially engaged poet-singer-songwriters-artist-activists of the 20th century. Third, I discussed Pinar’s (2010) notion of “worldly cosmopolitan educators,” and argue that this role was embodied in the life and work of the artists who inspired me to engage ethically and passionately with the culture-at-large through song. Fourth, I documented how my musical autobiography was one marked by the transition from analog to digital technology, and point to a new kind of emergent “activist folk” music that I call “Folk 2.0.” Finally, I concluded by reinforcing a theme brought up in Chapter Two, and one that will resonate throughout this dissertation, that this discourse points to the practice of musicianship as an example of currere, in which embodied subjectivity is in complicated conversation with both the past and the future through the lived moment of music making in sound and lyric in the present. In retrospect, Chapter Four not only provides the methodological framework for my research, but also engages me in a subjective positioning process that enables me to declare and exalt the narrative and scholarly inheritance of my maternal, musical, and theoretical mentors. I simultaneously offered an example of an artographic and autoethnographic approach to research  92 that resulted from the creation, performance, and exegetical reflective analysis of the song, “This is the Beauty.” In that chapter, and in the song itself, I combined music (represented in a digital video field recording), theoretical hermeneutic scholarly reflection, autobiography, and poetic-lyric inquiry within a practice-based, musical (i.e., artistic) framework. I incorporated a playful and lyrically based articulation of theory and methodology in song. The chapter also served as an exemplar of an emergent way to use song in (and as) a research (or inquiry) process. The perceptive reader may note that I also began to reveal the possibilities of using digital technology as a means to document the lived expressions of lyrical and musical practice in a scholarly and reflective, theoretical context.  Having thus articulated the autobiographical, musical, historical, and social influences that inform my music practice, and building on the methodological frameworks and theoretical considerations arising from my review of the literature, I offer the present chapter of inquiry, focused on songwriting, as a means of research and inquiry grounded in the lived experience of my musicing. Following Pinar (2010), my “complicated conversation” includes reflexive, scholarly, subjective writing but will extend Pinar’s approach by being both autoethnographic as well as artographic, including digital renderings of songs and autobiographical stories (in both audio and video formats, contained in the digital files that accompany this dissertation).  I have organized the present chapter as a collage and métissage in “song” form, with the songs as “verses,” the commentaries as repeated “choruses.” I am inspired to take this approach by other artographic scholarship that uses musical form as a structure for prose (Gouzouasis, 2007, 2008, 2013; Gouzouasis & LaMonde, 2005; Gouzouasis & Lee, 2002). The song form I use is a ternary form (ABAB). This structure enables me to present my “data” in, and through, a song for each “verse” and the discussion as the repeated “choruses.” Offering a summation of my  93 inquiry, a final “coda” will repeat the “chorus,” leading to a summary of the “findings” of my research in the following final chapter of this dissertation. This form, exemplified in several of my songs, is grounded in my artistic practice. Thus I allow the art-making to inform the form of the research itself, staying true to the principles of arts-based research discussed in Chapter Four. In terms of songwriting, there is a functional efficacy to the use of the “verse, chorus, verse, chorus” form of song in developing a lyric’s theme. This form creates familiar patterns that are reinforced and refined as the song progresses. It allows different meanings to emerge, often from the same lyrical line, that shift in meaning and scope as each verse tells a story that is related to the theme of the song. In addition to the lyrical dynamics of this form, musical functions such as elaboration and repetition, shifts in “tonality” (Gouzouasis, 2013), grace notes and ornamentation, improvisation, and variation in texture, dynamics, timbre, tempo, and articulation can enhance musical meanings. This functionality seems appropriate to an artistic and autoethnographic inquiry into the lived experience of a musician and musicing in and through song.  This entire chapter, like a song, functions as a whole—forming the data, analysis, and results of my inquiry in a non-linear, cyclic, polyphonic, and patterned structure. The use of non-traditional organization of prose, like métissage and collage, allows the scholarly work to contain my “complicated conversation” in/about/through the lived practices of music making in song. Music elements such as melody, rhythm, beat, back-beat, resonance, harmony, pattern, counterpoint, tonality, dynamics and arrangement—and the concepts that elaborate those elements – are metaphorically represented throughout. I will tease out many of these elements in the final chapter of this dissertation.  94 As described in Chapter Two of this dissertation, the present chapter is influenced by “bricolage,” which in qualitative research can be a metaphor as well as a method (Kincheloe, 2001; Kincheloe et al., 2011). Bricolage is marked by an inventive openness to using a variety of methods to reveal understandings as needed in the moment of practice. The bricoleur uses what tools they have on hand to discover and report their findings. As previously cited, “Research knowledge such as ethnography, textual analysis, semiotics, hermeneutics, psychoanalysis, phenomenology, historiography, discourse analysis combined with philosophical analysis, literary analysis, aesthetic criticism, and theatrical and dramatic ways of observing and making meaning constitute the methodological bricolage” (Kincheloe et al., 2011, p. 168). Ingenuity, invention, and fluidity are part and parcel to bricolage. In the textual pages and digital renderings that follow, I take a varied case-by-case approach using ‘the tools at hand to “get the job done” as necessary for the presentation and explication of each song (or “verse”). Each “verse” and “chorus” is approached slightly differently in terms of representation and discussion. My musical exemplars, and their functions, are as follows: • “The Year of Jubilo” is presented in digital audio with reflective autobiographical scholarly exegetical prose as the chorus. • “Mt. Elphinstone” is presented in a digital documentary/music video with stories about the songwriting process and images accompanied by a “chorus” rendered as a reflective theoretical/personal scholar/artist’s statement. • “The Song That Everyone Should Hear” is in digital audio accompanied by narrative reflections as the “chorus” • “Chasing the Buck” is in digital audio with an autoethnographical “chorus” and reflective narrative prose on my life as a professional musician. • “The Fountain Pen” is presented in digital audio/video and the “chorus” is formed by personal reflections.   95 Throughout the present chapter, emergent concepts from the verses are discussed and elaborated in each chorus, building toward the repeated coda finale. The repeated choruses are anchored in two, interwoven, conceptual “hooks.”8 These hooks form a theme that is repeated after each verse, and at the end of the ‘Song’ (of Songs) leading to the “coda.” The two hooks are as follow: 1. Song functions simultaneously as the method, results, and interpretations of research (Prendergast, Gouzouasis et al., 2009). 2. The lived experience and musicings of musicians are scholarship (Gouzouasis, 2007, 2008, 2013a). As a whole, these songs, and the Song of Songs which this chapter forms, is a representation that defines and declares my main self-discovery from this inquiry: that song and music making is a form of research, a method of interpretation of lived-data, and a report of findings. Musicians can live as scholars, and their music itself contains a rich knowledge base from which one may draw upon in the study of music (and musical) education.                                                   8  “Hook” is a term from popular music used to describe a short, ‘catchy,’ musical phrase that is repeated throughout the song (usually in a repeated chorus, or at the end of each verse). The hook line forms a musical (and sometimes lyrical) reference point that anchors the entire song. One example from my work is the line “There’s 84,000 ways to raise a child.” In that case there is a lyrical hook followed by a musical hook.  96 Verse One: “The Year of Jubilo” The Year of Jubilo Words and music by Danny Bakan  I was at a party at my friend Tom’s His buddy had brought an old banjo along We tuned her up and played a song We played the Year of Jubilo  An old banjo from the Civil War When the slaves were freed and the states restored She sang a tune she’d sung before She sang the Year of Jubilo  Jubilo the great reprieve All debts forgiven all slaves are freed Back in the 19th Century She sang the Year of Jubilo  An old banjo from the Civil War With fingermarks on the fingerboard Where fiddle tunes were frailed before Like the Year of Jubilo  And I bet she danced em right till dawn Celebrating freedom’s song And I bet everybody played along To the Year of Jubilo   And as I played that tune again And danced a step with a new found friend I thought how much this world could mend From a Year of Jubilo   If all the debts could be reprieved And we started a new society One in which all slaves are free A Year of Jubilo   Jubilo The great reprieve All debts forgiven, all slaves are freed And what I think this old world needs is a year of Jubilo   (This song is presented as a digital audio file that accompanies the dissertation.  See: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863)  97 Chorus One: “Jubilo: The complicated conversation” “The Year of Jubilo” is my musical retelling, or re-composition, of an “old-time”9 instrumental “fiddle tune” of the same name. The instrumental tune on which my new song is based is itself derived from the melody of the song “Kingdom Coming,” written by American popular songwriter Henry Clay Work (1832–1884). The words of the original lyric were divorced from the melody many years ago, but the song’s tune became a standard in the old-time repertoire, preserved through aural-oral and recorded traditions.  On perhaps the most immediately emerging level of exegesis the lyric and music reference three things: an old-time fiddle tune; the theme of Jubilee; and my inspirational experience of playing on an antique banjo. But there is a deeper level of analysis that has emerged hermeneutically, as I have delved further into the creative process that not only was embedded in the initial writing of the song but also in the ongoing reflexive scholarship that has unfolded since I conceived it.  *** A few years back, a friend lent me an antique five-string banjo built in the late 19th century to play for a week or two. The old banjo in my hands had been made in either the Northern States of the US or in England. I wasn’t sure. It had a ‘head’ like a drum made from pig or calfskin and a ‘tubed’ fifth string that travelled in a tunnel to the tuning pegs, as was common in the time of its construction. As I played the strings of this old instrument, and felt its tones emerge under my hands, I became acutely aware of the wear-marks under my fingers. Musicians who had coaxed the sounds to ring long before I was born wore these indentations on                                                 9  “Old-time” is a subgenre of the Americana musical tradition, denoted by a pre-bluegrass instrumentation and musical vocabulary often reflecting popular music of the southern United States from the mid 1800s to the 1930s.   98 the fingerboard. My hands followed the lingering finger patterns that remained etched as remnants in the ebony fingerboard under the strings. The grooves and scratches, left by the pressure and sweat of musical fingerings from distant times, led my hands to the placements, pull-offs, and slides that make an instrument sing. These markings and signs, a patina of musical play, are often valued by collectors and give each instrument a signature unique to its history – not unlike the memories and experiences that construct our biographies.  *** The modern five-string banjo is a descendant of stringed instruments brought to the Americas by West African musicians abducted by slave traders (Adams & Pestcoe, 2007; Gura & Bollman, 1999; Linn, 1994). One of the features of the modern five-string banjo, invented in the United States during the minstrel era of the 1800s, is a high pitched string played with the thumb; a trait more common in African instruments than those found in Europe.10 Frailing (also called “clawhammer” banjo style) is a syncopated right hand strumming technique in which the thumb sounds this high fifth string in a ringing drone throughout the music. The playing style is common in old-time music, and often is used as a melodic and rhythmic accompaniment to fiddle players.  *** As I played that “old banjo from the civil war” I almost felt and heard the old tunes that had been played there before. This banjo had a history, and I wanted to learn an old tune to play on it. Or, as I half jokingly said to myself at the time, “A tune it already knew.” I went to my                                                 10  This is often referred to as a “reentrant” tuning, similar to some traditional African instruments.  Recently musicologists have brought banjo players from the Americas to West Africa to meet and play with traditional masters of a stringed instrument called the Jola Akonting . The similarities of tuning, tonality, construction, and rhythmic playing style between the two instruments have largely reaffirmed the theory that the modern banjo can be traced to West African origins. See Adams and Pestcoe (2007) for more on recent understandings of roots of the banjo.  99 library of music books and found a banjo arrangement of the tune for “The Year of Jubilo” written in tablature11 in Ken Perlman’s book “Melodic Clawhammer Banjo” (2006). I learned to play it in the traditional style and fell in love with the sweet melody. I knew nothing about the history of the tune, though I was intrigued by its name. A trail of research led me to the biblical reference of the Year of Jubilee, a Sabbath year in which lands lie fallow, debts are forgiven, and slaves are freed (Leviticus, 25, 8-13). 12 As I played that antique banjo, learned the old tune, and read the biblical passage on which I became certain the title was based, the images and poetic references of the song started to form. The words of Leviticus inspired me. Issues of third world debt and the realities of modern slavery13 came to mind. As I wrote the new song based on the old tune, I felt the joy of creation, as well as the sadness that required these issues to be addressed.  *** “The Year of Jubilo” is a familiar tune of the repertoire in circles of old-time musicians across North America, and in recent years around the world. The tune is found in popular culture of the early 20th century, and later in the work of Jay Unger and Molly Mason (1994), who                                                 11  Tablature is a form of notation, first developed for viheula and lute in the Renaissance period, which is common as a way of “texting” banjo music. Rather than standard music notation with 5 lines and 4 spaces, tablature has at least 4 lines that represent strings and either numbers or letters represent the placement of the fingers on the fingerboard. 12 “And thou shalt number seven sabbaths of years unto thee, seven times seven years; and the space of the seven sabbaths of years shall be unto thee forty and nine years. Then shalt thou cause the trumpet of the jubile to sound on the tenth day of the seventh month, in the day of atonement shall ye make the trumpet sound throughout all your land. And ye shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof: it shall be a jubile unto you; and ye shall return every man unto his possession, and ye shall return every man unto his family. A jubile shall that fiftieth year be unto you: ye shall not sow, neither reap that which groweth of itself in it, nor gather the grapes in it of thy vine undressed. For it is the jubile; it shall be holy unto you: ye shall eat the increase thereof out of the field. In the year of this jubile ye shall return every man unto his possession” (Leviticus, 25, 8-13, Standard King James Bible, n.d., Project Gutenberg, Second Version, 10th ed.).  13 A 2013 report from The Walk Free Foundation states, “From forced labour on cannabis farms in the UK to the child workers in the cocoa industry of Côte d’Ivoire, an estimated 29.8 million people are enslaved today” (http://www.globalslaveryindex.org, 2013, paragraph 1).  100 revived the melody in historical recreations and recordings in the 1990’s. The melody, without the lyric, is heard in the soundtrack of Hollywood produced, American Civil War films dating back to the 1940s, as the theme song for the Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy radio show of the late 1930s (Hill, 1953a), in the animated cartoons of Tex Avery (The Three Little Pups and Billy-Boy), and in Ken Burn’s 1990 documentary The Civil War that features Unger’s recording of the tune.  Like many of the traditional fiddle tunes in the North American folk music repertoire, “The Year of Jubilo” is most commonly played on fiddles, banjos, mandolins, guitars, and other acoustic instruments. Often this style of music is played in a participatory manner at jams, parties, festivals, dances and community gatherings. It was in this context that I first encountered this compelling melody.  *** Since its moment of creative birthing, I have let the song live with me, and continued to research the origins of my source material. I began to play my new song as I travelled—with the old melody as its reference point—in shows, concerts, and at festivals. A chance meeting at a folk festival led me to an invitation to play at The Library of Congress in Washington, DC. There, at the Centre for American Folklife, I played the tune for the research librarians, and they found the original printing of the published song. And I began to understand the context of the instrumental version I had learned from Perlman’s book (2006). *** The composer of “Kingdom Coming,” Henry Clay Work, was the son of a renowned abolitionist, Alanson Work. Henry witnessed his father assisting many slaves’ escape to freedom as part of the “underground railroad” network of safe houses and activists. Alanson Work would  101 ultimately be convicted and imprisoned due to his efforts to free a group of southern slaves.14 Biographers are quite certain this experience influenced Henry Clay Work (McWhirter, 2012; Epstein, 1945). “His father’s sufferings and contact with runaway slaves must have contributed fervour and authenticity to many of Henry Work’s songs” (Epstein, 1945, p. 125). Growing up in relative poverty, Work was likely familiar with “working-class minstrelsy. As a boy he met many African Americans on their way to freedom, and enjoyed hearing their stories and songs. As a result Henry’s early songwriting efforts were heavily influenced by blackface performers” (McWhirter, 2012, p. 146). But Work’s ethical stance is revealed in the lyric to “Kingdom Coming,” despite the “Jim Crow”15 dialect and racist posturing of the black-faced minstrelsy form he followed. In fact, this was the song’s strength, as recognized by his music publishers.   “Kingdom Coming” was published and promoted by the influential publishers Root & Cady of Chicago, Illinois, and released in 1863. The publication of the song followed a meeting in which the young novice songwriter, then employed as a printer, showed George Root his compositions. Root was quite taken with “Kingdom Coming.” The song, Root immediately realized, touched a nerve in the culture (McWhirter, 2012; Epstein, 1945). It was a radical departure for the minstrel blackface genre, which generally depicted slaves as happy with their lot enjoying life as an underclass (see McWhirter, 2012 for an in depth analysis of the minstrel show and its depiction of black America). Although firmly based in the minstrel tradition (including the pidgin dialect), the lyrics of “Kingdom Coming” celebrated freedom and emancipation. Sung from the point of view of soon to be liberated slaves, the song tells the story                                                 14  A fascinating account of Alanson Work’s arrest can be found in the Cornell University Library Samuel J. May Anti-Slavery Collection. In it Work describes how after his arrest the slaves who led him in bondage led him while “…weaving the past and present circumstances, with our future prospects, into a song which they made to echo through the woods to the great satisfaction of their masters and friends, who were on horseback. “   15  “Jim Crow” was actually the name of a character of the blackfaced minstrel show developed by Caucasian actor Thomas Rice. Rice, first in New York and subsequently across the United States, made the song and accompanying dance “Jump Jim Crow” famous in the 1830’s (see Toll, 1974).   102 of a plantation at the end of the American Civil War. The Yankee soldiers of the North are approaching, and the slaveholder, “The Master,” has run away in fear. The white skinned oppressors are trying to turn their skin dark in the sun to hide from the approaching liberating armies. The overseer is locked up in the cellar, his whip is lost, and the oppressive handcuffs are broken. The slaves have moved into the big house, are drinking the liquor, eating the food, and having a party. “It must be now the Kingdom Coming and the Year of Jubilo!” they sing joyously:  Verse:    Say, darkies, hab you seen de massa, wid de muffstash on his face, Go long de road some time dis mornin’, like he gwine to leab de place? He seen a smoke way up de ribber, whar de Linkum gunboats lay; He took his hat, and lef’ berry sudden, and I spec’ he’s run away!      Chorus: De massa run, ha, ha! De darkey stay, ho, ho!  It mus’ be now de kingdom coming, an’ de year ob Jubilo! Henry Clay Work, Kingdom Coming, 1863 Prior to its release, Root & Cady engaged what might have been the first American music marketing campaign for the song shortly after Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation.16 “For a week before the publication of Kingdom Coming, Henry Work’s first national hit, the mysterious words “Kingdom coming!” stared at the citizens of Chicago from newspapers and street posters, causing all kinds of speculation” (Epstein, 1945, p. 127). “Kingdom Coming” was first performed in comedic minstrel shows by “black-face” Caucasian performers, but towards the end of the war, abolitionists, Union soldiers, slaves, and emancipated and “contraband” African Americans took up the song. Reporters wrote that freed slaves, behind Confederate lines, would                                                 16  Interestingly, there was an economic aspect to the promotion of Work’s song as well, a phenomenon not uncommon in relation to music, past and present. Music “publishing” prior to recording and broadcast was focused on sales of sheet music. These written scores, similar to the “broadsides” which would be sold containing lyrics to ballads, would be marketed and sold and formed one of the key elements of Root & Cady’s business. Musicians in North America have a long tradition of writing towards the needs of the market. See my song “Chasing the Buck” and the written “chorus” that accompanies it in Verse Four of this chapter. This would be worthy of a thorough examination in future work.   103 greet the liberating Northern troops singing the chorus of “Kingdom Coming” as an ode to freedom (Epstein, 1945, p. 128).  *** A note on the audio track: The analog audio tracks were first recorded digitally in a studio, capturing the live performance of the acoustic instruments and vocals and turning the sound waves into digital code. Later, I imported these files into Logic Pro on a Mac based digital audio workstation, which allowed me to edit, equalize, mix, compress, and manipulate the digitized audio. Musically, I wanted the audio piece to move through time, to start in the past on a simple banjo, to build sonically into the present, and then return to the past. As I worked the music digitally, I was able to add in “loops” of other instruments, including a pre-recorded stock performance on the percussive “bones” that would have been traditionally used in the folk music of the 1800’s. A MIDI17 file containing Henry Clay Work’s original arrangement was also imported into the project. The piano accompaniment that enters in the second half of my recording is note for note from Work’s arrangement.  Using digital technology, I was able to interact directly with Work’s composition, blending my creative expression with his, thus opening up a deeper dimension to my recording. I used Work’s vocal harmony lines as MIDI computer code to trigger a sampler sounding brass marching band instruments resonant with the song’s Civil War history. I added to these digital horn parts, writing a musical counterpoint for the last verse. I then mixed in loops of Motown style drum kits that enter as the song unfolds toward the final chorus. For me, this arrangement brought the music’s semiotic meaning into our current time, and gives the musical climax at the                                                 17 MIDI stands for Musical Instrument Digital Interface and is a code used in software to turn music pitches and durations into commands that are digitally transmitted to trigger a synthesizer or sampler. MIDI code allows notation to be transformed into commands that trigger a sound device to produce sounds of specific note, duration, attack, decay, and velocity, emulating a live performance of the notated composition.   104 end of the composition a contemporary feel. Finally, I added a coda using Work’s vocal harmonies (now played by the horn section) and added a marching snare drum loop to the Motown drums. Those tracks decrescendo and pan across the left to right side of the musical mix through the final moments of the song, emulating a military band passing by and fading into the distance. All of this was then finalized in the mix, setting levels and final compression, adding limiters, reverberation, and equalization to smooth out the track and finding the right volumes to polish the work into the final stereo MP3.  *** Through my exegetical reflections on “The Year of Jubilo,” meanings concerning musical practice, history, ethics, social justice, and recurrent themes of emancipation and liberation have emerged. In the months that I have researched the threads that influenced my writing of the song, I have discovered many points of connection between my creative retelling/recomposition of “The Year of Jubilo” and the intent behind the lyrics and music of Henry Clay Work’s song “Kingdom Coming” (1863). As I have delved deeper into the multiple meanings of my song, the threads that connect my artistic work with the original song and the sentiment of its author have been surprising. I discovered a resonance of meaning and ethics that weave through and beyond time in my songwriting and that of Henry Clay Work’s. My complicated musical-ethical conversation with Henry Clay Work and his music resonated from his past to my present. As well, Work had a sensitive and artistic temperament (as revealed in his personal writings, see Powell, 2004 and Hill, 1953)18 and this also has resonance with my life. Remarkably, and as a testament to the interstitially connective power of art, I knew nothing of                                                 18 As Powell writes: “In the Fall of 1882, Work turned fifty years old and had become (as Sam Loper put it) a sad and somewhat melancholic man, one who’s life socially and financially was a continual disappointment” (As cited in Powell, 2004, p. 122). Also, Work himself wrote, in a personal letter “Being naturally of a nervous temperament, (I) am easily elated, and very easily depressed in spirits” (As cited by Hill, 1953, p. 219)  105 the man, the song “Kingdom Coming,” or the history surrounding the tune when I wrote my song. This is an example of how my musical present resonates with his presence in the past, through the renderings of our creative, scholarly, musical, and lyrical work. This allegorical-biographical resonance seems to be precisely the phenomenon celebrated by Pinar (1975; 2012) in his conceptualization of currere, in that the subjectivity of my lived present maintains a complicated conversation with the life and music of Henry Clay Work (and through him, the music of other forbearers) and this resonates into the future through my reflexive and ethically informed musical actions. It also exemplifies the rhizomatic connectivity of artography. These woven threads are illuminated in the digital rendering of the song—musically and through the use of technology. In the audio recording, our ideas (i.e., Work’s and mine) blend into a musical, time-based, complicated conversation in song; the creative result of an emergent musical currere—empowered by technology and bonded by the ethical use of lyric to address issues of social concern.   106 Verse Two: “Mount Elphinstone: Where will the fairies dance?”  Mount Elphinstone Words and music by Danny Bakan  There’s a creek on S.J.’s land On the side of Mount Elphinstone I like to go there when I can When I need to spend some time alone  And when the sun breaks through the trees  and the creek is singing merrily It teems with life’s diversity I think how sweet this world can be  On the side of Elphinstone I fell into a trance  On the side of Elphinstone I saw the fairies dance  And following a fairy thread  I was tricked and I was led  to understand the things they said and then sing them to you...  and they told me of their troubles and they told me of their woes of corporate dollars soon to pave their forest  homes with logging roads   On the side of Elphinstone I fell into a trance  On the side of Elphinstone I saw the fairies dance  And they want to log Mount Elphinstone They will if they get the chance But if they log Mount Elphinstone Where will the fairies dance?  And they warned me of the water Soon to be our greatest need But they assured me we’d have plenty If we plant a lot of trees....  107  There’s seven creeks on Elphinstone That quench the thirst of those below And bear and cougar and red-legged toad Still have some room to roam  And they wanna log Mount Elphinstone And put up a few retirement homes And the watershed will no longer flow And they’ll  take the cash and go...  And they want to log Mount Elphinstone They will if they get the chance But if they log Mount Elphinstone Where will the fairies dance?   They’ll sell the land and build and pave Top dollar will be paid and made But look at the lovely park they saved As the watershed runs dry  On the side of Elphinstone  I fell into a trance And on the side of Elphinstone I saw the fairies dance.  And they want to log Mount Elphinstone They will if they get the chance But If they log mount Elphinstone Where will the fairies dance?  (A video/audio/storied rendering of this song, and the stories behind/around its composition is presented as a digital video file that accompanies the dissertation.  See: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863 ) Chorus Two: “The complex reverie of song-making” This song and its video rendering are the documentation of one of my journeys of creative engagement. The video is an artographical piece that – in musical, lyrical, visual, narrative and textual terms – exemplifies the three aspects of artist, researcher and teacher engaged with the processes and renderings of artographical inquiry. It documents: 1) the  108 interstitial, rhizomatic connecting practices of songwriting and story (the artist aspect); 2) the study and lived research experience of the art-making process (the researcher aspect); and 3) a communicative report and explication of knowledge found through the process of inquiry (i.e., the teacher aspect). As well—as encouraged by autoethnographic theory—this song and video enables me to demonstrate (i.e., show rather then tell) how these lived practices might extend into liminal experiential spaces that are between the real, the imagined, and the numinous.   *** Of what do I mean when I speak of “fairies?” I use the term firstly in the fairy tale sense to reference the realms of Puck, Oberon, and Tatiana and imply acknowledgement of imagistic influences from literary tales of story, rhyme, and fable. I also mean to refer to the multitude of world narrative traditions that tell of sprites, leprechauns, angels, elementals, little-people, water-spirits, nymphs and the like. Folklorist Gary Varner (2007) has made a comprehensive catalogue of these beings from traditional stories around the world. It is rather compelling to note the similarities found across cultural traditions. As Varner states, “Many of their stories and descriptions are for the most part, identical” (p. 1).  He asks,  Do we simply regard them all as products of the universal unconscious mind –a mind that stretches between cultures, times and geographic location? On the other hand, do we assign a possibility that they may be based on reality, or at least a reality that coexists with our own sense of reality? (Varner, 2007, p. 1) Neither Varner, nor I, have a simple answer to this odd problem of the resonant stories that span cultural, spatial, historical, and geographical boundaries.  ***  109 There is no proof available for fairies except the verisimilitude of lived experience. Maybe there is something of fairie that we do not rationally understand, yet that is very much present in our phenomenological experience. Documentary filmmaker John Walker, in his 2002 National Film Board of Canada film “In Search of Fairies” interviews Mark Fox, a scholar of paranormal and religious experience. In that film interview Fox states:  I’m just wondering whether the realm of the imagination, the realm in which fairies dwell, is in fact a sort of intermediate realm, neither completely in your head and neither completely in the world, but somehow crossing over, transcending the two, belonging to both and yet belonging to neither. And that, of course, is something which many educated secular scientifically trained Westerners find difficult to accept. They either exist or they don’t. If you can’t photograph them, If you can’t weigh them, if you can’t interview them, if you can’t measure them, if you can’t capture them and put them in a cage and put them on display then they don’t exist—except of course as figments of your imagination. But say they do exist in some intermediate realm neither in the world nor in your head? Perhaps there is a third place where they dwell.  Because this seems to be the place where poets and artists and composers often dwell as well. (As cited in Walker, 2002) *** I know this “third place” of which Fox speaks. Many artists are well familiar with it. I find this place, when I attain a soft and receptive way of being in a half-awake entranced state of imagination. This engaged third space, neither “inside” or “outside” of the self, is resonant with Bachelard’s (1971) use of the term “reverie.” Bachelard’s use of the term reverie denotes a feminine, receptive, poetic mind space in which art-making comes into the world. It is a participatory way to bring the imagined into the real through open interpretive experience that is  110 neither dream nor waking. It is also the (s)p(l)ace (de Cosson, 2002) where other musicians, such as Claude Debussy and even the jazz group Reverie, have lingered over the centuries.  This, I believe, is the place of fairie. This in-between and liminal state that embodies an improvisatory sense of Gadamerian play (Gadamer, 1986) that inspires a looseness of joints, a sparkle of light on waves on the water, the engaged make-believe of children. That looseness is at the essence of hermeneutic interpretation. It requires a dream-like movement of thought that offers a ‘bodymindspiritsoul’ willing to dance within the imagination and keep eyes ready to see what a wild stream glimmering in the virgin woods reveals. Perhaps only an artist-researcher can reach this place. ***  This reverie is the place of art. And, like the fairies, this creative space seems to me to be very real, although perhaps both illusive and elusive. It is a way of seeing. It nurtures what my mother would call an “addressive” way of being in the world that is an embodiment of the I/thou relationship. As she writes (Bakan, 1984): Though I can look at trees as mere things, to be causally explained by their relationship to the environment, I can see them also in another way, again as unique, as addressive, as speaking, as relating to sky and earth, as vital, as living, as coping. This sort of seeing is spoken of poetically and depicted as art. It is the place of symbol and art. It is an engagement with others in our world which does not divorce us from our bodies and yet is not simply an expression of arbitrary impulse. We sometimes encounter the cosmos itself in these terms. The stars in the night sky speak to us in a certain way if we let them.  (p. 77)  ***  111  In the attached renderings, I use the term “fairie” as much more than a polemic gimmick. Though the images of dancing sprites are a useful and lighthearted way to lyrically discuss the resource hungry consumer economy that burdens our times, for me “fairie” is more then a literary device. In these stories I am speaking of entities, non-human persons who have a sentient presence. These fairies live in the half dream place of a worldview and ‘other worldview’ informed by rationality, yet not so grown up as to not to be able to play make-believe. They are non-corporeal, not quite temporal, beings that inhabit the wild places of the earth. These beings can at times seem to communicate to us in the shimmers of an engaged imagination.  Art is a realm of imagination and play, and in it all things are possible. It is in this realm where, as my mother points out, the stars (or fairies?) can “speak to us in a certain way if we let them” (Bakan 1986, p. 77). Art is a realm of imagination and play, and in it all things are possible. The use of art and story as research is one of the few places in the normalized positivistic, scientificized, and rational realm of the modern academy where such ideas might be expressed. It is one of the few places where we can let the stars speak and be heard. *** Like the hero of Joseph Campbell’s (1968) universal “monomyth,” the artist brings an elixir to the community after their journey of adventure. Acting in the role of shaman, or teller of sacred tales, or keeper of wisdom, the renderings of the creative mind bring a value to waking life that may be difficult to assess by either the marketplace or quantitative analysis. As I state in the lyric, “Following a fairie thread, I was tricked and I was led to understand the things they said and then sing them to you.”  Thus, the logging of Mount Elphinstone continues, the wild places are being clear-cut for pulp and paper, the land and its non-human inhabitants are threatened. And so, through this song,  112 and the stories articulated in the video, I seek to speak for the sub-altern who have no voice and who inhabit a place I love. If I did my work well, then the rendering will speak for itself. It is my research, it is my data, it is my report, analysis, and interpretation. It is my art work. Perhaps in aid to the fairies, perhaps in aid to the poetic practice of lyrical inquiry, perhaps as a creative musical expression in the digital realm, I offer the attached video métissage of story and song. *** In this song I maintain an ethical stance as a songwriter in the protest song tradition of North American folk music and trust that my engaged imagination and ethically informed musicing may change minds, support environmental justice, and help to preserve a sense of values in which Buberian I-thou relationships inform our actions and policies (Buber, 1923). Perhaps this song/story might create a web of action that can serve to hold sacred spaces of co-creation between the human mind and the living world of bio/cultural/psychopoetic diversity we inhabit. Perhaps we can speak I-thou to each other and the world we live. Perhaps the fairies can continue to dance, despite the loss of the wilderness, in our poetically engaged ethically inspired creative outpourings. Perhaps the digital and creative realm is the new terrain in which the fairies now can live, once the forests and wild rivers are gone. Perhaps there is an ethical motivation required in order to be artists, teachers and researchers. Perhaps we need to be conscious of what values we serve.  *** The music for this artefact was recorded digitally in my friend’s basement on his Apple computer with Logic software. Another friend mastered it in his home studio. The video was shot with a hand held digital camera and edited in iMovie on my Macbook. Other than buying a few meals and beers for those who helped, it was made without paying for studio time, editing  113 suites, or producers. This video represents the possibilities of Folk 2.0 in my own practice. It contains melodic and harmonic references to my folk progenitors, and stands in a historical tradition of song as social commentary while remaining current to the times in which I live.  Verse Three: “The Song That Everyone Should Hear” The Song that Everyone Should Hear Words and music by Danny Bakan   This is the song that everyone should hear  This is the time that we all relinquish fear  For there’s hurricanes and wars and a struggle to survive  And this old world is weary and these are our times.  This is the melody that every one should know  For in it’s fearless harmony the miracles can grow And all of the illusions can briefly disappear This is the time that we all relinquish fear  And perhaps we are the unlucky ones to be born into this time  Or perhaps we are the blessing that confers the endless rhyme  Perhaps the simple logic of a simple life of grace Can force the hand with loves command to neutralize the hate.  This is the poetry that we are called to write.   To lay down our burdens and dance a life of light. For what you know is more then what you see Once you know you understand That the time is now its in our hearts and the time is now at hand.   This is the generation with the blessed eyes to see  The power of the children who we must now let lead  And so with playful laughing love we draw each other near  For this is the time that we all relinquish fear This is the melody This is the song This is the poetry and so it has begun.  (This song is presented as a digital audio file that accompanies the dissertation.  See: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863)  114 Chorus Three: “Song as comfort: The artist in service to the muse, the music, and the public good” It was a nine-hour drive home to downtown Toronto from the Catskill Mountains in upstate New York. I parked on the side street where I lived, happy, exhausted, and musically/socially/intellectually stimulated from my weekend away.  I began to unpack my bags, instruments, and the promotional materials I carried in the trunk of my road-worthy Honda Civic. Hauling gear—being your own roadie—is part of the job, and no matter how road weary, you can’t leave the car packed on the street overnight. Musicians are favourite targets for thieves. Instruments are easy to resell on the black-market. “Trust in G-d, and tie your camel” my friends used to say. Many of them speak from sad experiences. The tour is not over until you unload your car. A collage of tunes, thoughts, conversations, efforts, ambitions, disappointments, and sounds resounded in my memory from the weekend. These had been three sleepless but joyfully musical days and nights playing and singing with hundreds of folk musicians, broadcasters, and programmers at the Northeast Regional Folk Alliance Conference in New York State.19 The Folk Alliance is an organization that brings together a glorious mélange of musicians and music lovers. It is a community of colleagues who live on air and dreams, playing tunes, together and for each other, in the decrepit but charming resort hotel in which the conference is held. In a three-day feast of sound and song the grassroots “industry” of folk music gathering, radio DJs and concert promoters look for acts to hire and promote. Musicians showcase their acts and try                                                 19  The website description of the Folk Alliance International Northeast Regional (NERFA) conference reads:  NERFA holds an annual four-day conference where, artists, agents, booking agents, venue and festival promoters, recording industry professionals, graphic artists, folk DJs, journalists, photographers, publicists and production professionals get together to exchange ideas, learn by attending workshops, panel discussions and seminars, participate in an exhibit hall, attend formal showcases of juried performers, and go to private and guerilla showcases hosted by performers, agents and promoters. (http://www.nerfa.org)  115 to get gigs. We talk, network, jam, swap licks20, listen to each other’s songs, tell stories, learn, share, and play. The music is non-stop and everywhere… in stairwells, lobbies, conference rooms, and hotel rooms converted to coffeehouses and the “guerrilla showcases”—small concerts of artists that start at one in the morning and go until dawn or later. Without sleep, buzzed on connection and jamming, surrounded by other hyper-creative musicians—we forego rest, financial security, relationships, and stability for a song. This kind of conference is a wonderful, yet exhausting, and expensive experience. The buzz of these festivities brings great memories and take their toll on the body, mind, and pocketbook. They represent the joy and perils of life as a professional musician. It was late 2006. George Bush was entering his second term in office with devastating results; it was barely a year after the mishandling of aid for the devastation of Hurricane Katrina; the Patriot Act had been reauthorized and made permanent (with great impact on the folk music community); and the war in Iraq was lingering on despite proclamations of “mission accomplished” three years prior. Regardless of the comfort brought by song, laughter, and camaraderie at the conference, my American friends and colleagues were depressed, full of despair, and desperate. The fear, worry, and absence of hope were palpable. As soon as I arrived home, despite my exhaustion, I was drawn to play my banjo. A song started to come to me within moments of the first sounds I strummed. I felt the first lines as if I were seeing the crown of a birthing child’s head. It felt as if this song was being “channelled” through me. I remember feeling compelled, as if by a loving but firm command, to reach for my fountain pen and journal to write the song. I recall saying to myself (or to my muse who seemed                                                 20  A term referring to short musical phrases and methods of getting certain kinds of sounds specific to different genres of musical practice. Old-time licks are distinct from bluegrass licks which are distinct from blues licks which are distinct from heavy metal licks etc.   116 to be rather authoritarian at this moment):  “Not now...” After a few moments, the response was immediate and strong.   “NOW!”  The first two verses and the bridge of this song spilled out of my pen, and then suddenly the words stopped, my hand frozen on the page. “Now what?” I asked my muse.  “You write the next part” was the response. So I wrote the line, “This is the poetry we are called to write, to lay down our burdens and dance a life of light.”  My pen took over, my muse returned, and the final lines of that verse and the next and final verse as well as the coda was completed in less than 15 minutes. No re-writes or revisions were required. *** Several emergent themes can be drawn from my story of writing of this song. First, this song arose from the context of community and social engagement that inspired its composition. As previously discussed in Chapter Three, my musical identity as a songwriter and a banjoist arises from a biographical relationship with the folk music tradition in North America. This tradition is interlaced with social activism, largely through the work of Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, Joan Baez and others who helped to redefine the genre as one which included “songs of persuasion” and “protest” music which addressed social issues in song (see Chapter Three for a detailed discussion of this history).   117 Second, emergent herein is a view of song as located within the context of a community. That point is also elaborated in Chapter Two in my discussion of “This is the Beauty” as a song for a specific community of artographers.  Third, in likewise fashion, this song is for a community. The pretentious title that states it is a “song every one should hear,” is perhaps offered to the reader and listener as a tongue in cheek gesture. But only partly so, as one of the defining aspects of the community for which it is written, the folk music community, is a focused attention on humanitarian values that transcend difference. Of course, given that music is a culturally defined practice, no song can reach “everybody,” even if the sentiments of the song are reflective of a spirit of inclusion that would idealize the value of transcending difference. This, I believe is the irony of the North American Folk Music movement—even in its attempts toward inclusion it reflects values of modernity rather than the complex pastiche of the global community it claims to represent.21 *** A note on the audio track: The attached audio of this song is a blend of digital instruments and recorded acoustic tracks of the vocals and banjo. The digital tools now available to musicians to render their work represent a major departure in terms of representation. Now, with these tools a song can cross the line between Torino’s categories of  “High fidelity” music and representation and “Studio Audio Art”(Torino, 2008). This recording, although semiotically referring to choral voices and horn sections, maintains a semiotic                                                 21 This notion of the romantic inclusive values and embodied contradictions inherent in the construction of Folk Music as a social movement, in part addressed by studies such as Gruning’s Millenium Folk (2006) and Felene’s Romancing the folk (2000), is worthy of more research and discussion. The notion of erasing difference can be quite problematic. Interestingly however, as all humans engage in forms and ways of musicing, one may conceptualize musicing as a form of transcultural doing and making that is not limited by musical cultures, traditions, and practices. In that way, musicing as a practice (not music as a universal ‘language’ – which is a misguided concept) has a quality and essence that enables humans to transcend difference. Autoethnographic reflections and artographical explorations into these themes would make for a very interesting future study.  118 reference to itself as a produced sound. It is not an attempt to “be” a recording of these acoustic instruments, yet it refers to them sonically and in terms of the role they play in the hymn-like audio representation of the song here presented.   Verse Four: “Chasing the Buck”   Chasing the Buck Words and Music by Danny Bakan    Chasing the Buck Every day a dollar Wishing for luck and a little bit of gold Each and every day You wear it like a collar Chasing the buck till everything is sold Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee a buck  Chasing the buck A little bit of glitter Meeting the ends till the balance is black Making the grade Getting richer, better, thinner Chasing the buck till the buck chases back Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee a buck  Everything’s for sale in the wonder of the market Supply and demand rule like a king My body, my mind, my knowledge, my time My labour, my looks and the songs I sing Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee a buck  When you’re chasing the buck Every day a dollar You wake up in the morning and it tells you what to do Run around the maze Wear it like a collar Its the rhythm of the world is the burdens of the blues Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee a buck  (This song is presented as a digital audio file that accompanies the dissertation.  See: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863)  119 Chorus Four: “The autoethnographical exploration of professional musicianship” This song brings to bear reflections on the “professional musician era” of my biography. During this time of my life, making a living, and especially making a living playing music, became a major motivating factor for me. I had been living a poverty-purchased and marginalized life for many years, following my muse, learning my craft, and writing songs that reflected my social and spiritual values. Increasingly as I grew to middle age, I found myself concerned with musical markets and gigs for the financial security that celebrity and “success” seemed to offer.  *** Playing music is a practice wrought by deep love and reverence. As demonstrated through the other songs and stories in this chapter, I possess a sense of the music and songs I compose and write as serving a greater good—as a cause that is resonant with spiritual and timeless qualities, as well as social qualities. For me, and I think for many music practitioners, music is a transcendent, even holy, activity. Approaching musical mastery requires not only a commitment of effort, but also a commitment of mind, body, and spirit. Mere extrinsic forces do not inspire the hours of dedication and study that expert musicianship demands.  But as I examine the life experiences of my decades of professional musicianship, I have come to understand other aspects of my musical motivation. Why did I play music? Was it just for the love of music? Was it for spirituality? Was it only in the service to the transcendent muse? Was it merely for the greater good? In part, yes of course. But also, if I speak the difficult truth, I, like many musicians, also have been motivated by the market place. If the truth be told—and autoethnographic inquiry demands that it does—even though my musical efforts were full of holiness, a sense of the sacred, a commitment to community and social concern, and a reverence  120 for imagination, art, and love—in my years of professional life, music increasingly became also about making a living. This is difficult to speak; yet I think it is crucial in an autoethnographic account of songwriting and musicianship. As the autoethnographic process is noted for being a healing endeavour as well as a research inquiry (Ellis, 2004), naming this phenomenon as part of my own creative recovery (Cameron, 2002)—it is a healing process that tends to the wounds that a life of professional music have left behind.  *** It started with love of music. I remember singing “Leave Her Johnny Leave Her” at the top of my lungs in our song filled music class in grade one. I recall the bliss of the Mariposa Folk Festival when I was 10, and the spontaneous music “jams” on the ferryboats joyously singing “The Titanic” in ironic harmony as we floated across Lake Ontario to the island park where the festival took place. I recall the itinerant music teachers hired by the Toronto Board of Education who would visit our school to teach us how to play guitar. I remember the LPs that I listened to over and over so I could learn to play finger picked acoustic blues after discovering guitar greats like Mississippi John Hurt and Reverend Gary Davis. I entered my teen years and found Canadian songwriters like Bruce Cockburn, Neil Young, Bob Bossin, and Willie P. Bennett—and I was hooked. I became a musician. It was who I was, what I did, and how I built my identity. It was sacred to me. It was fun. It won me the praise and admiration of peers and teachers. In my second year of university I decided to be a songwriter full time. I dropped out of school, got a job waiting tables to pay the bills, and began to play gigs. I made a choice, and in many ways, I have paid for it. ***  121 Throughout most of my adult years, I have been a self-employed professional musician, and this has been core to my identity until I entered the doctoral program of which this dissertation is the result. Because of this, my work life has been full of flexible day jobs, teaching assignments, and temporary positions that allowed me to fly away for tours and opportunities to gig. And fly I did. I went to Los Angeles. I toured Canada from coast to coast. I played in New York, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Virginia, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Michigan, Ohio, and Washington, DC. I made people cry, laugh, think, dance, tap their toes, clap their hands, hum a tune, and sing along. It was a blast. It was also, at times, a drag. It was full of love, adventure, buzz, despair, anxiety, desire, fulfillment, applause, glory, shame, depression, bad meals, amazing meals, awful beds, slum-like band rooms in a basement under a bar, and five star suites. Most of the time I was broke. *** I still have the posters from gigs dating back to 1980, my promo kits, drafts and finished copies of grant proposals (mostly declined, some endorsed), marketing plans, radio DJ cards, contact sheets for the glossy photos, mock ups of album art, written agreements with band members, contracts with funders, fundraising letters, festival applications, receipts from haircuts, costume purchases, gas, hotel rooms, meals on the road, advertisement layouts, business cards, flyers for showcases, lists and lists of buyers, presenters, DJs and anyone else who might have a gig or connection—remnants  from the years of hustle.  Because, whatever anyone tells you, the pop-rock-folk music business is largely a hustle game. Being a working musician is not a secure job. You are always on the make. For sure, it had its moments of transcendence. There were songs and tunes and friends and loves and travel and applause and exhilaration. But there was also pain, empty pockets, struggles for the next  122 rent check, and reliance on charity and the generosity of grants, donations, and patrons to make ends meet. Along with the fulfillment of the creative effort, there was an unending and ongoing need to constantly be on the lookout for the next gig, connection, or opportunity – more than I ever expected when I started out as a starry eyed songwriter in 1979.  *** Callahan (2005) asserts that in the marketplace driven economy of the arts, “celebrity” has replaced “quality” as a measure of musicianship. He believes a common assumption of both audiences and critics is that “they may not be famous because they are good, but they must be good because they are famous” (p. xxi). Record sales and revenues determine what is and what isn’t good music, and these sales numbers are often driven by the promotional efforts that manufacture celebrity (see Gouzouasis, 2000).  *** When a musician chooses to commit, the concerns of the market become an increasingly pressing priority. In my career, this became a commitment to promotion and—if I dare admit it—hype. The online Oxford English Dictionary defines media “hype” as “extravagant or intensive publicity or promotion” (Oxford Dictionary, n.d., par. 1). The promotion of the “brand” name of Danny Bakan led to celebrity, which led to gigs and successes, thereby creating more celebrity and more gigs. It was a machine that fed on itself. I became a promotional “monster.” Soon I found that in order to maintain celebrity status, I had to promote a public persona of absolute success. Joni Mitchell, in her song “Free Man in Paris” called it the “star-making machinery behind the popular song” (Mitchell, 1974). I know of what she speaks.  Even what I might call ‘touchy-feely, feel good, all in this together’ folk music was not immune to the debilitating virus of hustle. And perhaps, that is what broke my heart the worst of  123 all. Because I fell in step with this hustle despite myself, and despite my self-awareness. I learned to pad the facts, to build a fiction that was bigger than life, to make it seem like I was making more money and being more ‘successful’ than I really was. A random remark in the press became a rave review. A poster campaign delivered more value in getting my name out than actual ticket sales on the night of the event. Gigs that paid little or nothing were spoken of as being more lucrative than they really were. Travel and tours were always touted as a huge success, even if I lost money or barely broke even. This fiction was necessary to maintain an identity of idolatry. It led the fans, public, and promoters to continue to believe the myth of success that led to more gigs, more fans, and more successes. Even though I still moved audiences to tears and laughter, brought joys and insights, and felt that my music continued to serve a greater good, there was a disconnect between my sense of the sacred and the bottom line of the music business. It lacked integrity, and took its toll on my heart and soul. I hated this in myself. It was this dishonesty, and the heartbreak of the hard facts of the market, that led me to leave the music industry for the academy. It was this feeling of distortion that led me to seek new ways to be an artist, ultimately finding my way to the university and to the expression of my music, teaching, and learning as arts-based educational research.  My life experience with the music biz is reflected in the musical track attached. Toward the end of the recording the lead vocal becomes increasingly distorted, just like my vision of musicing became after years of chasing the buck. However, at the very end of the track, there is a spontaneous burst of laughter from the singers, showing how even in this inhuman and distorted world, there remains the lifeblood of humanity and passionate play.  ***  124 Abbing (2002) has described an “exceptional economy” within the arts that differs fundamentally from other forms of exchange and commerce. He identifies a “winner takes all” (p.107)  model unlike other professions (professional sports may be an exception as well). He points to a seemingly unending supply of new artists, willing to invest deeply of themselves and all available resources, to gamble on the chance of economic success in the field. The cause of this is what he believes is a “mythology” (p. 30) of the sacred that surrounds the arts.   Perhaps I too share in this mythology, and I am not completely certain it is a myth. There is something sacred in the arts, as documented throughout this chapter. Despite the pressures of the market, music holds a sacredness in the “absolutely uncommodifiable component of shared experience—joy, sadness, anger, love, solidarity, thoughtfulness, connection, etc.—shared by music makers and audiences in a completely open exchange” (Callahan, 2005, p. xxi). Callahan goes on to state that: Without these components, music lacks the social and spiritual drive that makes it so vital to human life. With them music subverts. The possibility it contained and announces is defiant for the simple reason that the market needs music, but music does not need the market. (my emphasis, p. xxi).  *** As Lee (2004) has shown, many music educators, especially those who developed skills in jazz and pop music, made an initial investments in their craft in order to become performing artists, ultimately settling—sometimes begrudgingly—on teaching as a way to make ends meet. Perhaps I am doing the same with my life. And so I wonder: is academe really that different from the music business? Is arts-based research just another way in which artists and other creative  125 people are “chasing the buck?” Is a journey into the higher levels of arts-based research also a way in which creative people seek a place of security? Is this too a grand compromise of values?  Pinar (2009) might also wonder about this proclamation. Although seldom direct about it, he has peppered his text, The Worldliness of a Cosmopolitan Education, with hints on how to understand what is a rather scathing critique of our current academic society. Pinar tells us that this book is a “montage confronting the fascism of the present” (p.17). He identifies the public sphere as so “shredded” by commodification and exhibitionism that the only viable form of resistance is “inner-dialogue and study, academic versions of prayer” (p. 16). Pinar states that the modern university, and schooling in general, is no longer in service to the values of the “Republic” which promoted the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. He suggests that the United States civil war was ultimately lost, and that the “South” (or at least the values of the Confederacy) rose again. Pinar states, in so many words, that we are now behind enemy lines. This is what he calls the “nightmare” that is our present. Where everything, including scholarship, is reduced to sales and celebrity to determine its value. “Everything’s for sale in the wonder of the market, supply, and demand rule like a king. My body, my mind, my knowledge, my time, my labor, my looks, and the songs I sing,” as I composed and perform the lyric.  ***  I have lived a marginalized life as an artist, and now I am normalizing into the university—partly for the financial support and security it can provide. But what is this world? Is it one of scholarship, sacredness, study, and thought? Is it one of prayer? Or is it an unkind, publish or perish, funding-driven, competitive world of tenure chasing, grades, outcomes, conformity, systemization, competition, and normalization? Pinar (2009) would term this a nightmare, and yet it is one I crave for the security (and health insurance) it can provide. This is  126 my own “problem of my flesh and life”(Pinar, 2009, p. 8) It is not only my own though, it is a problem that haunts all heartful educators and scholars—and musicians too.  *** About the audio track: The attached audio track is the result of hundreds of hours of effort and listening and adjusting. Like viewing a painting, or a film, or even this written prose, the final result is formed by significant investment of conscious effort. The track for “Chasing the Buck” began as a rhymed couplet that I would say to myself as I went to work at one of my many short-term “day jobs.” From this lyric, a small song, based on a banjo part and repeated rhythmic motif, formed. The song was then played live with improvising fellow musicians in a studio situation and recorded (Pete Johnston on bass, Gwyneth Baillie, Christina Starr and Chris Moore on vocals, Chris McKhool on violin, Glen Marshall producing and engineering). These initial tracks were originally intended for my 2005 album release “…and Truth is Spectacular,” however, issues with the rhythmic feel of the recording and bleeding between tracks made them difficult to edit preventing any further efforts being put into the song at the time. During the process of working on this autoethnography, I began to discover how the market driven world of music, and even academia, had affected me. I found this unfinished track in my files and began to play with the sounds and concepts. It seemed a fitting way to address the issues of economy that have haunted my career.  I pulled the digitally captured tracks out and “remixed” them into small loops. This process allowed me to work each sound sample individually, cleaning them up and adjusting rhythmic issues on each individual track before reassembling them into the final audio piece attached. I took the bass part, and found a two bar segment that could be digitally reproduced in a cycle. I isolated the multiple female back-up vocal tracks and reshaped them using both looping technology and ‘pitch-shifting’ to create further harmonies. I rerecorded the “lead”  127 vocal tracks in my home studio, and added loops and effects from a library of sounds that are part of my Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) program. I used a keyboard to play new motifs, which I mixed with these loops. This palette of sounds became my “sandbox” with which to play, and in the next few months I worked and reworked the track into the final version included herein. I used multiple effects including stereo emulation, compression, delay, equalization, panning, and volume automations to weave and form the final mix. Verse Five: “The Fountain Pen”  The Fountain Pen Words and music by Danny Bakan   I write these pages now and then with my mother’s fountain pen Years ago when she was young she wrote pages to. Now time has turned and things have changed We urge her to try to say our names But I don’t think she knows us now, we’re strangers in the room  And you don’t remember when  you wrote with this gold tipped fountain pen. And the words and wisdom that flowed out then  Changed people in their way.  Have an insight once a day you’d say It’s sure to keep the doctor away Have an insight once a day you’d say Have an insight once a day   I think you’re happy with your simple life You eat and sleep and hold your light And the mercy is you’ll never know The young girl has grown old.  But once you led them in the crowd You spoke your truth and stood up proud And you know I think you still do now It’s the strength within your soul  And you don’t remember when  You held me when I lost a friend Or urged my restless seeking soul  128 To follow the writer’s way  Have an insight once a day you’d say It’s should of kept the doctor away Have an insight once a day you’d say Have an insight once a day   And so I write these lines for you Because I know you would want me to And through it all the generations turn And I watch the lines connect  And so I write with this fountain pen And love these words like you did then And its ok cause I remember  Its ok if you forget  You don’t remember when  You wrote with this gold tipped fountain pen But its ok cause we remember  Its ok if you forget Its all ok cause we remember Its ok if you forget.  Have an insight once a day you’d say Have an insight once a day.  (A video/audio/storied rendering of this song is presented as a digital video file that accompanies the dissertation. See: http://hdl.handle.net/2429/51863) Chorus Five: “Complicated conversations of remembrance, connection, and writing” I began to grieve my mother years before she died; this song was written before her passing. It is a hymn of love and remembrance that helped me, and others, come to terms with her illness.  The dementia first presented itself as aphasia. Sometime in her late seventies, my mother,  129 Dr. Mildred Bakan22 began to have difficulties with language. Words that used to bolt like lighting from her active mind became hard for her to find. She would search for names and nouns, laughing about it at first, but in a few years it was not something we would find funny. Her difficulty increased until she could barely speak at all, cast mute by the small strokes and episodes of bleeding in her brain. Senile dementia of the mixed type was the diagnosis. Perhaps due to the strokes, or to the Alzheimer’s that doctors suspected was also claiming her brilliant mind, we watched her slipping away from us, increasingly living in a different yet connected reality. For a time, though her words were lost, music remained one of the ways to communicate with Millie. At first, though she could not speak, I could get her to mouth the lyrics of old familiar songs such as “You are my Sunshine,” “April Showers,” and “Shabbas Zolzine.” In the years that followed these words too were absent. However, even in the most extreme advancements of her illness, her lips no longer able to form words, music could bring a physical response. Sometimes it was as subtle as a slight wiggle in her fingers. Music remained a way to communicate with the insightful woman of words long after her words were gone.  As her condition advanced, Millie became a person always in the moment23. She did not seem to know who we were. She forgot how to walk, talk, bathe, and feed herself. The past seemed to disappear. There were no thoughts of the future. She lived in the now. But Millie’s strength, spirit, and warmth remained, even when much of her identity, as we had known it, was claimed by the brain damage. The narratives and language that constructed her biography were                                                 22 Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Social Science at York University, author, teacher, scholar and community activist. See http://www.benjaminsparkmemorialchapel.ca/ServiceDetails.aspx?sid=137005&fg=1&AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1 23 This seems somehow fitting, given her academic interest in the philosophies of phenomenology and her passion for developing an understanding of “being” and “time.”  130 ultimately lost, but through it all she somehow remained present. Until very late in her life she remained “there.” She slept much, but when awake, she was quick to smile. “It’s the strength within your soul” sings the song.  *** Arising from my autobiographical and artographical particular, the song’s lyrical and musical text tells tales casting light on how stories construct self and relationships through and around the processes of memory. This is also a song about the role of writing in constructing both story and one’s identity from shared and individual memories. “The Fountain Pen” is about my mother’s loss of memory and my writing and songwriting to remember her for her, as well as for others and me to remember. My pen – like my banjo, my guitar, my computer, and the other technologies I use to express my musical and linguistic thoughts – was an instrument that enabled me to capture the stories and reflections of expression. It forms the central metaphoric image on which this song is based.  The stories in and behind this song weave a narrative inheritance informed by my lived experiences with grief, love, illness, and an aging parent. Narrative inheritance (Goodall, 2005; 2006) manifests in the stories we learn, live, and carry in our personal, family, and cultural/tribal identities. This song touches on the particulars of my narrative inheritance but is, as these inheritances always are, about more than just my personal and localized story of subjectivity. As the theory at the heart of autoethnographic inquiry confirms, the personal story is connected to universality; the self is a construct of the social, and the social a construct of the self (Chang, 2008; Ellis, 2004; Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Ellis et al., 2010; Jones, Adams, & Ellis, 2013). This is a story of my mother, and the particulars of her aging and brain disease, but I am not the only child to have lived this story. It is a song about writing, yet I am not the only writer who came to  131 write through a story. This is the power of autoethnographic work, for as I tell my story I cast light on the stories that others have and might live. *** My mother and father were both writers. Writing, for me, is a family story, one I seem to have inherited. Throughout the house of my childhood there were books, typewriters, pens, and piles and piles of paper. I grew up with the click clack ding swoosh sound of the typewriter as a familiar tone of my sonic landscape. They were as much a part of my musical biography as the LPs and instruments I played. My father would start writing at 5 or 6 AM, and I would wake to the sound of his thoughts coming through the keys of his old Underwood mechanical. I still find the music of an old fashioned typewriter a comforting sound, like a rhythmic sonic play of words as they hit the page.24 When I was a young troubled adolescent my mother taught me that writing could clear my head, unravel my confusion, clarify my complicated feelings, and offer insights for others and myself. She taught me, as she had learned herself, that when one couldn’t think straight, or was having difficulty seeing things clearly, deciding what needs to be done next, or making decisions, writing helps to clear the mind. Writing became my saving grace. I would write to, as my mom would say, “write myself clear.” When I was in my twenties, two decades before she got sick, my mother gave me a high quality fountain pen, the kind she loved. I treasured this writing instrument, and it became a daily ritual to start my day with pen in hand sitting with the blank pages of my journal. In the years that followed, I found this daily writing to be a necessary task in my day; like eating, sleeping, and exercise. Daily journaling, and the songs and poetry that flowed from the process,                                                 24 I find this sound so comforting that I now use a software application to emulate the sound of a mechanical typerwriter on my computer. See: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ityper/id639594479?mt=12  132 became the main way I was able to, as my mom used to say, “keep my head screwed on straight.” When Millie got sick, I took comfort in my fountain pen and in the words of my daily writing. “Have an insight once a day” was a mantra she gave me long ago, and one I often repeated. It was this that inspired my song.   *** Musically, “The Fountain Pen” is composed with an instrumental introduction followed by a verse-verse-chorus-bridge lyrical form (AABC) with musical interludes separating the repetition of this pattern. The final coda is made of half of the instrumental break. In writing the song, I felt that the listener needed non-lyrical moments to sit with the rather emotional content of the lyric. The music gives the words a chance to settle in. The song is accompanied by finger-style acoustic guitar played in “dropped D tuning” (i.e., where the 6th string on the guitar is tuned a whole step down from E to D). The picking style is sometimes called “Travis picking” (after country music guitarist Merle Travis), “piano style” (due to its constant bass reminiscent of traditional barrelhouse and blues piano), or “independent thumb” technique (describing how the bass groove gives the fingers of the right hand freedom to follow the melody or create counter rhythms to the tune)25. Like the constant presence of her maternal support, and the constant comfort of writing and creativity, the guitar accompaniment can be seen as an analogy for our relationship and presence in each other’s lives.  In the digital audio rendering, a double bass and drum kit supports the guitar part. Music making (and recording) is a collective, creative act. This song was recorded “live off the floor” in a single evening at Vibewrangler studios in Hamilton, Ontario. Glen Marshall was the producer. He helped to coordinate the hiring of the back-up musicians (Mark McIntyre and Tone Valcic),                                                 25 Chet Atkins, Blind Blake, John Hurt, and Doc Watson were also masters of this style.  133 managed and equipped the studio, worked closely with the engineer (Michael Keire), oversaw the recording process, talked me down when I got nervous, and generally ran the session. Both Mark and Tone are expert improvisational musicians. Neither had heard the song before they entered the studio that day, yet they quickly got the feel of it and created accompanying parts that were elegant and tasteful. I rehearsed with them for a short while during which time the engineers and their assistants set up the microphones and cables in the recording space. Glen ensured a relaxed and comfortable environment conducive to creativity and a sense of group intimacy. Bob Lanois recorded video footage. There was a quiet focus in the studio, and good-natured playful humour blended with a seriousness that bordered on the sacred as we undertook the ritual of music making. Several versions were recorded until we all felt that we had a workable take. This take was then mixed and mastered by Michael, with Glen keeping a watchful ear and eye on the process. Two other songs were also recorded in this session. The digital video on the accompanying CD is a métissage created from footage of the recording session—the mixed audio, photos of my mother and father, compiled images, and excerpts from my mother’s published works. The video was crafted using iMovieTM. The raw video footage was imported from digital AVI files and edited into a collage over the final stereo mix of the audio. Care was taken to match the video footage to the music. Words were synched with the movement of lips and guitar riffs were matched to the movement of hands. Photographs from personal family archives were scanned and edited in JPG and TIF format and woven into the visual montage. Photos of my mother’s published works were taken on my iPhone, and then assembled into a “slide show” in iPhotoTM. This métissage was then exported as a digitized movie and integrated into the edited project. Footage of the handwriting was also filmed on the phone’s camera, and the files were compressed and adapted to scan, synchronized with the  134 lyrics. Clips were crafted to link together using “cross-dissolve” and “fade to black” transitions and timed to match lyrical phrasing, rhythms, and melodic changes. The video itself works in the same way as a musical rendering, unfolding over time. The visual works in synch with the sound, song, music, and lyric to enhance the narrative and storytelling of the autoethnographic report.  *** She died mostly without suffering, the dementia mercifully sedating her in the final months. I sang “The Fountain Pen” at her funeral. As I played it, the room exploded with weeping. It took all of my performance skills and great emotional effort to get through that song. I knew at the time that my job was to sing the song so we could mourn together. It is what Millie would have done. I had to be, as she use to say to me as a child, “strong-strong.” I stayed strong for her, for me, for my family. “Because I know you’d want me to” says the lyric. My role as artist/facilitator dropped away as I finished playing the song and moved away from my mother’s coffin. I collapsed into tears and fell into the waiting weeping arms of my family. Her death hit me in a new place then. It was in my bodily memory thrusting me into the grief of a child in tears for his lost mother. My feelings were no longer musical, lyrical, or verbal. My grief emerged from my infantile—literally word less—psyche.  Is this wordless place similar to the world my mother inhabited at the time of her death? Wordless feeling? Pure presence? And is this some form, some aspect, of the power of music: to enable humans to reach, to transcend, and to communicate deeper than mere language allows us to reach? To give expression to those things that are beyond words, beyond verbalization? Like grief? Like love? Like the timelessness of eternity?   135 CHAPTER SIX Final chorus: The complex conversation of musical currere  Ethnography is not an innocent practice. Our research practices are performative, pedagogical, and political. Through our writing and our talk we enact the worlds we study. These performances are messy and pedagogical. They instruct our readers about this world and how we see it. (Denzin, 2009, p. 209) As a final chorus to my “Song of Songs,” and the concluding chapter to this dissertation, I will articulate findings, musings, and reflections on the musical and storied expressions that form the data and findings of this inquiring doctoral endeavour. In keeping with the form of the previous chapter, these concluding remarks are expressed in what might be alliteratively called ‘sectional stanzas of summation.’ In short prose-based exegetical reflections, I will extract emergent conclusions to the questions of inquiry posed throughout this thesis: how can the lived expressional of biographical reflection, and the artistic renderings that emerge from a creative musical life offer insight into the experience of musicianship? How does this work re-frame music and song as not only a part of the music education research process, but also as analysis and report that engages musical knowing as music? How does this research cast light and new understandings on the real-life stories of being a musician in the digital era of musicing? A reiteration of the theme Through my research, I set out to explore how song, and by extension music, can be(come) considered as research. I have used multi-modal and bricolaged methods to show how the songs included in this dissertation and their renderings hold and uncover ‘knowings’ about songwriting, arts-based and autoethnographic theory, narrative, community, curriculum theory, digital audio recording practices, technology, storytelling, learning, artist identity, and  136 musicianship. I have used my research to include the ‘doing-ness’ of musical expressions as well as digital representations of story, image, and sound that take the scholarly project beyond the limitations of argumentative linear prose. I have used musical ways to discuss musical things, and tried to creatively engage my fluidity with digital media to extend the music into video and other forms of narrative.26 As stated earlier, the previous chapter articulates and repeats two intertwined and polyphonic conceptual “hooks.” 1. Song functions simultaneously as the method, results, and interpretations of research; and  2. The lived experience and musicings of musicians are a form of artful scholarship. These hooks are expressed in musical, artful, scholarly, and expository ways throughout the previous chapter—grounded in the songs. The songs were presented digitally as musical artefacts, lyrically (in words), and with written and video storytelling. In some cases, such as “Mount Elphinstone” and “The Fountain Pen,” the video rendering further enhances the music with a montage of images and musical, visual, and narrative elements. Interwoven into these ‘tellings’ the prose offers scholarly, historical, personal, and social reflection. To clarify and reinforce these ‘hooks’ I conclude my “song of songs” with reflective prose that ‘teases out’ some of the metaphoric rhymes, melodic phrases, and tonal themes emergent from this collection of music.  Five woven threads  The preceding exposition in/through/about song and story evolved as a bricolaged métissage (Hasebe-Ludt et al., 2009), weaving five main methodological threads: 1) arts-based research methods as artographical inquiry; 2) phenomenological hermeneutic exegetic analysis; 3) praxial approaches to musicing as a lived action situated within a cultural context of “doing”;                                                 26  See Gouzouasis (2005) for an exploration of what he calls FATness (Fluency with Arts Technology).   137 4) autoethnographic inquiry; and 5) an emergent theory of musicing as a lived currere of reflective learning, ongoing study, and reflexivity. These renderings and musical musings form a web of connection, with threads interwoven, overlapping and emerging as the works of musicing, lyric, story, and scholarly/personal self-reflexivity entwine. These threads weave, with story and lyric, into an emergent theoretical statement towards understanding song, the song-making process, and its digital rendering as a way of conceptualizing song as research and music as scholarship.  Knowing that is based in musical “doing” The songs I write and sing arise from my subjectively located musical biography as an artist, and as such are examples of performative autoethnography (Denzin, 2003; Spry, 2001, 2011), artographical inquiry (Bickel, 2005; Irwin & De Cosson, 2004; Irwin & Springgay, 2008; Sinner et al., 2006; Springgay et al., 2008), and a representation of the complicated conversations that emerge from explorations of my musical “currere” (Pinar, 1975; 2012). The songs in Chapter Five are conceptualized as arts-based research partially through my braided identity as an artist/researcher/teacher or a/r/tographer. The explication of artography (without the “slashes,” following Gouzouasis, 2006; 2007; 2013) is one in which the interlaced and woven rhizomatic meanings of the doing of art combine seamlessly with the discovery of knowledge (research) and the practice of pedagogy (teaching). An artist is—lives, eats, breathes, sings, plays, composes—both a researcher and a teacher. These interconnected roles and identities all present themselves in the sung works of this chapter and are supported by this prose-based artist statement/essay. The work itself is the data, the analysis, the communication, curriculum, and the report.   138 Sung-stories and song-stories As I demonstrated throughout Chapter Five, every song is an assemblage and result of stories. Songs themselves tell stories—musical, lyrical, socially and in terms of the context of the musicing itself; I call these “sung-stories.” As well, the songs are the result of what we might call “song-stories;” new and old stories about song itself. These musical and lyrical narratives are told in the words, sounds, and music. The song-stories are framed in the semiotic texts of the instrumentation (i.e., the sound of a frailed clawhammer banjo, the synthesized sound of a percussive loop, or the choir emulated accompaniment to a hymn-like melody), in the social context in which the words and music are sung, and in the recording/performance/video artefacts that represent them. Each time the song is sung, thought about, conceived and re-conceived, or reflected upon new meanings emerge. These stories resonate dynamically, both forwards and backwards, through time. They are in my music making, the music making of my forbearers, and in the playing of music makers beyond my life-span who may be influenced by my music-making in the future.  These song-stories and sung-stories resonate with the transcendent aspects of music articulated throughout this dissertation. It is work influenced by the muse, fairie, imagination, creativity, ethos, ethics, history, and self (call it what you will) woven through an enacted, sonic, semiotic, embodied musical practice (i.e., of ‘bodymindsoulspirit’). Music is enacted through the masterful use of sound in patterns over time. If done well, it has a chance to become a timeless activity, lifting the music makers and the listeners out of time and space into a different kind of being-hood (see Callahan, 2006, for more on musical mastery and time). This musically engaged timeless place resonates with the eternal, and Buber, Bachelard, Mildred Bakan, Fox, Callahan, Gouzouasis, Pinar and others speak of it in many different ways. It is both within subjective  139 historical moment of the lived self, and beyond it. It is the space of fairie, reverie, prayer, and the sacred. It is embodied in the dialectically complicated moment of our worldly subjectivity that is lived in our actions. To me it is elusive, difficult to speak, and ever-present. These songs and stories are an attempt to indicate, but cannot fully articulate, this transcendent and complicated essence of musicianship.  Toward a hermeneutics of song  The compilation of stories in my “song of songs” is selective. There are contained herein many stories, but many more are lurking in the silence outside the boundaries of the telling. Each story I tell here is only one view, as if my lens (i.e., my aperture) can only focus at one part of the whole at a time. The interpretation of the song, and the stories that surround the lyric itself, the musical sound, the identity of the songwriter, and the nature of the community in which the song is sung are all part of the creative flux of lived historical present/presence. The “object” of song is ever in a fluid state of lived interpretation that is in dialogical relationship between the private creative impulse of the artist within the public space of music making. It is called playing music for a reason.27 It is the hermeneutics of play, at play, with playing music in mind. Narrative and musical inheritance  In this autobiographical and artistic self-reflective process, I have identified threads of narrative inheritance (Goodall, 2005; 2006). These inheritances include stories of song as facilitation, as a spiritual expression, as an affirmation of community, as prayer and praise, and as a means of educational political social action. I have also pointed to the inherent contradictions that I experienced between song as a sacred practice and song as a commodity for the market. In this storyline, I have been motivated by a desire to serve both my society and my                                                 27 Perhaps as opposed to the notions of ‘studying’ music that is echoed in the halls of Western classical music conservatories.  140 spirit through song. I am also motivated by a desire to speak the truth of my experience as a musician and a songwriter, even with contradictory, or dissonant, resonances (Gouzouasis, 2006; 2013a). My story also includes an intellectual inheritance from my family, as well as musical styles and sounds from the complicated conversation of musical practices that make up North American songwriting traditions. It should however be understood that the renderings within this dissertation are examples from simply one form of musical practice. In my specific musical narrative, digital renderings were an appropriate form of documentation. A similar methodology to the one that I have used here, combining autoethnographical work with artistic work, could be adapted for the study of any form of musical practice, but other means might be more appropriate for other forms of music. The techniques I have used for this dissertation arose from my musical inheritance. For instance, in this dissertation I did not use notation. This was a choice. My musical learning was not based on carefully notated and written scores, or on set ways of playing the songs. I focused here on performed and recorded sounds. I told stories and used lyrics and words. Every piece of music, and every musicer, is unique. An appropriate method to understand each unique currere must be determined by the situated practitioner.28 The means of representation I chose were resonant with my musical narrative. To engage in an authentic exploration of other forms of music practice other means might be more fitting.  Song as research Each song I write is the lived result of a research process. This is not a “scientific” process, but rather a process of becoming (Gouzouasis, Irwin, Gordon, & Miles, 2013). It is an                                                 28  It also should be noted that the form of music I engage in is distinctly a practice that comes from Western European traditions. Other forms of practice of music may or may not engage in a conceptualization of music as performance or even as an object of unique study that stands distinct from other aspects of cultural life.  141 artistic process that arises from subjective, passionate engagement. Like many inquiry methods, it does not start with a hypothesis that leads to a quasi-experiment that leads to a proof and definitive conclusion. Rather, the creative process is fluid and open. The result is unknown at the outset, and the meaning of the process and the song artefact that results from the creative inquiry is not a single outcome, but one that is hermeneutically interpretive in nature. Often, as exemplified in “The Year of Jubilio,” that which emerges from the research is undetected for some time after the songwriting process. Even the recording and production, the manipulation of sound within the digital palate of the DAW,29 is one in which the outcome emerges from the process of working and reworking the music digitally. There is no conclusion other than the artefact of the compositional and recording process at a particular place, space, and time. Furthermore, in live contexts, songs (and remixes) are performed and recreated ad infinitum, enabling musician artographers to be an embodiment of the notion of song as ongoing living inquiry. Sounds and style  Each of these songs, while maintaining a consistent style within the singer-songwriter genre, is a unique representation with individual differences and idiosyncrasies. Like a painting, a poem, or any other expressive form, these songs are each on their own ground. They come into the world as unique expressions, and I, as artist, attempt to midwife them to their birth. All of them exist as expressions of my artistic and scholarly self-understanding, and they also each offer a uniqueness of expression. That said, these five songs have similarities. They are all felt and heard in duple meter and in a diatonic tonality. They are all constructed of lyrics with rhymed couplets, containing                                                 29  Digital Audio Workstation. In this case I used Logic Pro.  142 rhythms that work in temporal syncopation with the music. They mostly follow a ternary form, often with additional bridges or “c” sections. Instrumental breaks offer the listener repose from the lyrics, and allow the instrumental aspect of the music to “breathe.” As well, stylistic motifs are used to represent the meanings of the songs. For example, in “The Year of Jubilo” traditional instrumentation such as the “bones” and banjo are referents to the minstrel shows of the 1800s, while the Motown drums and horn sections of the final section bring the song into the present. The military marching band of the final fade moves towards an almost cinematic parade through the sonic “space” as the sound pans from left to right. Likewise, in “Chasing the Buck” a ‘remix’ aesthetic, with percussive loops, synthesized swells and “rises,” and the manipulation, echoing, and distortion of key lyrical phrases give the song a more modern and urban feel.  Musical presence/present emerging from subjectively lived musical currere  The complexity of music making is a lived practice of art, research and teaching that is located in the subjective present in conversation with the past and the future. This in part, is a representation of the complex conversation of a musical currere (Pinar, 1975a, 1975b, 2012). As stated earlier (see Chapter Two), Pinar re-conceptualizes curriculum as a process, lived in the subjective body of the individual, in dialogue with the collective subjects of the society. Currere is a term denoting the road one travels in an unfolding and complicated lifetime of learning. For Pinar, curriculum is not a “thing” to be achieved; rather it is a path that is taken through reflective lived experience. Curriculum through this lens is a complicated conversation with others that is uncovered through understanding personal biography and socio/historical context – including the past, present, and future. Pinar asserts that it is in the reflexive relationship to personal and historical allegory that we are able to make informed and ethical choices toward the  143 future.30 These choices, and the actions they inspire, resonate forward and backward through time to distant and ‘not so distant’ others. We live our individual and collective currere in the reflective practice of scholarship within and through the lived bodies of our subjectivity. As Pinar (2012) reaffirms, “The method of currere seeks to understand the contribution academic studies makes to one’s understanding of one’s life (and vice versa)” (p. 45). An understanding of currere places the subject in “complicated conversation” with the past and the future as a way to enliven the present. This, for Pinar and other “reconceptualists” of curriculum theory, is the project of education.   I submit that currere extends beyond the limits of traditional academic study, scholarship, and schooling. Currere is also revealed in musical practice. Musical expression of the self does not exist in isolation from the world around us. Even when one works alone, one is with others. When I compose in my studio, I am in conversation with musicians and musical forms that have gone before me and with those that will follow when I am gone. As Mildred Bakan (1975) once wrote (and as cited in the video rendering of “The Fountain Pen”): human kind is always in community with each other, and the “myth of our times” is that we can “singly save ourselves” (p. 27). We are “mutually dependent on each other,” not just economically, socially and spiritually, but (I would add) musically. One’s musical presence, and present, is the resulting manifestation of musical past. In the lived moment of music making, a musician is performatively entwined in complicated conversation with the past through the sounds, tones, syntax, signs, and sonic symbols of the embodied musically expressed present. This complicated conversation may be found in the music itself, and one may interpret that the music itself may imply multiple shifting and changing meanings. Music making, and the instruments used in the                                                 30  And Gouzoausis (2013) would argue that we can do that because we develop a sense of ethos, and eethos – of knowing who we are in relation to the world of music and people around us.  144 expression of music, can be construed as a cultural construction of the social related to and through the lived body of the music maker. For instance, a banjo played in a specific traditional style resonates with all the complicated music makings that brought that style to be and are represented by its sound and image. Depending on how it is played and variations in the playing style, music, and instrument design, a banjo could semiotically reference bluegrass or hillbilly music, Pete Seeger’s progressive protest songs, Irish fiddle tunes, or the Jim Crow black-faced minstrels.  The enabled digital practices of Folk 2.0 My approach to music as research is enabled by technological advancements that allow for the digital representation and distribution of musical artefacts. The music for the audio and video files included in this dissertation were recorded digitally on Apple™ computers with Logic Pro™ software. The video was shot with a hand held digital camera, an iPhone™, and edited in iMovie™ on my MacBook™.31 These renderings represent an example of the possibilities of Folk 2.0 in my practice. The songs contain melodic and harmonic references to my folk progenitors, and stand in a historical tradition of song as social comment while remaining current to the times in which I live. They are representations of the resonant opportunities for the musical, poetic, narrative, and heart-felt documentation of lived experience that result in social community artistic action. And yet they are ‘bricolage’ in the true sense of the word, in that I use the tools at hand to ‘get the job done.’ In this case, my tools are digital. In music, and as a result in music education and in music education research, digital technology has changed everything. Gouzouasis and Bakan (2011) termed our current situation a “digital tsunami.” We are all still                                                 31  I am well aware of the “corporatization” of my digital tools in this instance. In this moment of technological history, these tools are used as a “suite” which functions together to streamline the creative/musical/video process. In years to come I suspect that these tools will be less proprietary, as information, and code – to invoke the spirit of Marshall McLuhan – ever wish to be free.   145 reeling from the impact of these new tools for making cultural products and sharing them with others. Music will do what it always does; change with the times while maintaining a connection to the past. And musicians will use all available means to find their creative expression and share their work with others. Music educators, and researchers, have to catch up fast, or we will be left behind by music itself. A final statement of the theme The subject of inquiry for this dissertation has been an examination of why and how musical expressions through song can inform, and form, research. I believe that music education research is in need of a reassessment in terms of its representation. I have offered new approaches to both the study, and the dissemination of research in, through, and about song, with full appreciation that musical knowing is a unique and powerful approach to documenting the knowledge of lived autoethnographic and artographic experience, as well as a pedagogical method of engaging social action. Overall, I have demonstrated how the field of research in music education might approach using music itself, and particularly song, as a frame for understanding the lived experience of music makers.  Song, as words put to music, allows for and enables a lived expression of linguistic and poetic knowing in an embodied musical performance. The exegetical and interpretive webs and weavings behind and through the songs are meant to enhance and extend the meanings of music. These methods help us understand the context of lived musical biographies, and use musical performance and practice as the research and reporting of lived musical experience as represented sonically and visually in digital renderings. This dissertation is a demonstration that performative means of research using both music and autoethnography, and musical renderings  146 and practice themselves, can be used as interpretive texts for understanding the musical nature of our storied musical lives.  All musical practice is the embodied result of a currere. Musical expression of the self does not come to be in isolation from the social. Rather, music as a cultural and social construction, is an expression of the social related to and through the lived body of the subject as ‘musicer.’ Through my telling and retelling of the stories around my songs, and in the songs themselves, I provide my readers a frame for understanding the artistry of songwriting as the result of a creative/interpretive/practice-based inquiry process. Song is research. Music making is a form of scholarship. Music is a form of practiced mastery that reaches beyond space and time to create complicated resonances of self, story, society, and history. Only music is music, and only song is song. The lived experience of musicians, and the musical renderings of their expressions, offer ways to understand music (as music) as well as (lived) musical experience. When it is all said, sung, and done I believe I have demonstrated that this form of inquiry—artful, heartfelt, mindful, musical, thoughtful, reflexive, authentic, and conscious of interpretation, subjectivity, and the relation of the self to the social—has a necessary place in music education research, art-based educational research, and creative analytical practices.32                                                   32  And I might add, though it is beyond the scope of this dissertation, that music education is not just about teaching people how to play music, it is also musical education because music itself teaches. As I have stated elsewhere (Bakan, 1999), musicians are educators, not just for musicians, but for society as a whole. Goble (2010) also points to this, in his interpretation of music as a means of achieving psycho-social equilibrium. As such, music practitioners are essential to this necessary social and individual process. 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