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Carnegie writer's fall/winter, 1997 edition Carnegie Learning Centre (Vancouver, B.C.) 1997

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CARNEGIE WRITER'S FALL / WINTER 1997 EDITION My Friend by Jason Bak When I decided to go to Canada I told all of my Korean friends and neighbours about my new plan in Canada. At last I got ready to go. I hugged and waved my friends at the airport. I promised them that I would be successful within 3 years. However, it has been 6 years I haven't made it yet. So, I feel ashamed to talk to my friends how I am or to visit Korea. But, I don't still disappear, I'll find a job, study and workout every day. There is a room in the corner of the poorest area of Vancouver where some of the most colorful people in North America gather to learn about such subjects as Math, ABC's Computers and other interests. I for one am very proud of my association with all parts of the Carnegie but share a special love for the tutors, students and passer-byers that visit the third floor classroom. Ever since the rescue from the Vancouver School Board we have become one as a unit of friendhip and understanding. with people like Sarah, Wendy, Carol and others behind the scene this is one of the best places to visit . I pray for many blessings for our Learning Centre. Carl MacDonald Living Indian Living Indian in a world that does not wantto know our ways, hurts the whole meaning of life. LIFE, mother earth father sky Sacred pipe, sweat lodge ceromony, Water for life. IT is these ways that will Help us all save what we helped distroy. No matter what nation we come from it is, Mother earth that gives us every thing that we need. Do not forget we all at one time needed our, Mother to give us life. To me this is living INDIAN. Fred Arrance I / /. < / 'Wk am 1? A ezee ~ tk ~ wod ea«d4 06-~' 1 am ad. ~ deen a ftttod«a 06- tk ~~ ~: aH- 1~. ?1ttt~. ~. ~. M matteJt ~ 1 ~ ~ ~ Me ~ to- O#e idea. ~ina~. 7Wu~1am. 'W~ am 1?1tot in tk ~ 'UUe. not a ~~. &a in a ~ 06-~ ~ ~ me 4 tk &«M/A~~. A ~ 06- a dan ~ dead. 11~ tktt Me (!Ued to- ~ 'UWWed &a tM ~ aftetzed. 7cmed iHt<J a fdi9M 1 Ul# ~ to4e. &a ~ «du. 7ku u ~ 1 a#) ad. ~ 1 ~ deen. 'W~ UtM 1? 1n 'Zefflediat~, ~~. dt«jdd. deuJ. g'~1~and~~. ~~, it UtM tktt HtIf ~ 06- ideM. ad. ~ «.JeIZe HtIf (J«#t. ?1ttt (J«#t~. HtIf (J«#t~. HtIf (J«#t~. ~ ad.~. ~ to-~ 4 tk &~~. tkn~4~~~~iHt<J~4tk~. 'Pwz- fPze44«Ite ~ ~ me. ~ in f«!zn UtM ~ ~ ~ 4 tk4e da#te tbzee ~. 70 weak me ~ HtIf (J«#t ~ to- lit ~ tk ~. A~. M 1 fA.IItite t4u 1 am ~ to- dee. 5ed. ~. ~ HtIf (J«#t ~. ~~ 06- a4at ~~. 1 am ~ to-~ tktt tk 'ZIJd 1 dee. 1 Ul# ~ dee HtIf ~. ~ fJi4ion. HtIf~. Me HtIf (J«#t. 1 am~. 1 am uk. 1 am Embroidery You could say embroidery . You could say needle work. There's a few different ways of saying it. It is cross-stitch work. I have to have a needle and thread to show you, but I'll try to explain. You make a cross on a material. Then you make a pattern out of crosses . You could make it big. You could make it small. Any way you want it. You have to use your head. I'll tell you how I learned. I live in a rooming house. One lady, she was sitting at a table doing the work. I stood behind her and watched her how she was doing it. Then she got up to go to the stove. She was cooking. Then I sat down and started doing what she was doing. When she saw that, she said, "Don't touch that. You're gonna ruin it." And I said, "Maybe, maybe not." Then when she saw what I was doing, she said, "You did it perfect! " Paul "Hi, my name is Paul." Wanna be friend's." is the first thing that you will hear out of his mouth if he finds you interesting enough as you pass by the table that he sits at in the Learning Centre. At the age of forty-three. He tries his best to show up every day with vitality and determination. He has decided that he want's to be a scientist, because he likes science. Most of all he wants to be a lawyer, so he can sue his ex-doctor. The doctor has said that he cannot marry again. This is why he comes to the Learning Centre. To take some of that power back. Since he has begun coming to the Learning Centre. He has gained a lot of self-diretion, and will-power. The man knows what he wants and he want's, and he's going for it. Paul is from Greece. That is where he was born . So, he is bilingual. This, he is very proud of. He even teaches Greek to some of the regular people that come to the Learning Centre. One of them is me. 1\ly name is Luke. I am one of the volunteer tutor's at the Carnegie Learning Centre. I have tutored Paul on on occasion. In fact, Paul has tested each tutor here. He has not found out which one he likes the best. I believe that he gets the best education, because he gets many different points of view of the subject and /or words that'he works with everyday. He is very addamant about learning math as well. He wants to learn how to count his money. We are trying our best. We don't want to see him being ripped off. We think that he is used to that, and excepts it as every day life. It makes us feel awful. You see, Paul is disabled, and it is obvious. He can not walk without his canes. In front of the Carnegie Learning Centre. There are a lot of drug dealers and street people that scare him as he comes into the building. But, he pushes his way past and comes to the third floor. There are a lot of people that live in the area that '"von't even do that. I have to say that, it feels good to see that kine! of courage. I don't want to harp on the fact that Paul is disabled. That is besicle the point. It is just that,if i was in his place. r would not be as brave. Truly, he is someone to look up to and admire. "I To Luke July 21, 1997 I would like to thank you for the nice letter that you sent me you give me life and strength I wish you the best in your ende~vours yours truly Paul Kapsa]j s. Sleeping Beauty gets busted IGorgeous gIrls trapped In a mad, bad worfdf :l - • THEN Panorama of Vancouver N.W. 1904 A clipper lies in the harbour. North Vancouver Indian Village is discernable at the far right. Squatters' homes tolerated in Stanley Park can be seen at the left. Howe Street is in the foreground, w ith the Badminton Hotel on its far side. North and West Vancouver are virgin forest. f\vllikkii My name is Kyllikkii. I was born in Finland and lived there for almost 40 years. Then I moved to Sudbury, Ontario and got married to a man who spoke both English and Finnish. I am not sure where my husband is now. I moved from Sudbury to Vancouver over 10 years ago. In Vancouver, I used to work washing dishes, cleaning houses, and babysitting, but now I no longer work. I have come to the Learning Centre to learn English. - July 8, 1997 Notes from Bamako September 19, 1996 Bamako is a busy, dirty, in-your-face Third World city. Not so different, in many respects, from the Downtown Eastside, or perhaps parts of New York City. Nevertheless, after awhile, the incessant hardness of the city gets to you. Just walking down the street is a struggle! The way people accost you in the market, gripQing your arms and dragging you into their stalls -the rugged, ripped-up, pot-holed roads -the everywhere dust that coats your hair, nostrils, lungs -the kids calling after you "Toubabou, Toubabou l " ('White skin l White skin l ") -the blinded, beggared, lepered, cripples crawling around on the street at your feet -the way people pile into the backs of open-air trucks until you think there is really no more room ("Awn fara de!"), and then three more large women squeeze in beside you, babies on lap, bags underfoot -the way that everywhere you turn, people are tryinK to sell you think, turnin& the whole cirt into one, huge, bustling market v'lith no exit doors .... At first, I thought we were seeing parts of the cirt that were under reriair. There were workman everywhere, breaking up the pavement with hand-held hammers, piece by hard piece. But then I realized that all of Bamako is constaIltly in a state of flux, of disrepair a,.d being repaired, of changing, renovating, trying to catch up to the rest of the world. And when I see the dusty babies tied to the backs of the women who squeeze in beside me in the minibuses, I can well imagine that Mali has one of the highest tolls of infant mortality in the world. People are so pleasant, though. Those same women watch when I place my fare into the outstretched hand of the young man whose job it is to corral people in and out of the bus, and they make sure that he hai1d me back the right change. My few ,,'lords of Bam bar a !anguaKe draw ready, easy smiles and wann laughter from the people squashed in beside me. -Sarah Evans '....., . .,., .... ~ -~:--l-'- -'--f ... · My name is Rudolpho. I am from Guatemala. I came to Canadawith my family of four on February 1996. We have a son, fourteen years old, and daughter, she is twelve years old. When we came to Vancouver, many friends told uS,"Welcome here is your home Canada opens its arms for all people of the world". We felt very happy to hear this. But after talking with other friends, they told us "now you have to learn the English language, all people speak English. We spoke only Spanish, but after two years of living in Vancouver, we can now speak, write, and read English, and we are trying to learn every day these three things. Now, I feel glad because I see how my children have learned to do these three things too, with the unique difference that they have learned faster than me. Now we live very happy because we have learned many things about the life here in Vancouver. We like it very much. For example,in the spring, all the trees and gardens you look at are very beautiful with flowers and leaves of colour. After come the summer where you can see all people in the beach, parks and all place of diversion. After comes autumn. This also is very nice because you can see how the leaves fal~ from the trees and the flowers in the gardens die off. The winter is hard. It rains a lot and sometimes snow falls and it is very cold. Finally, you feel and enjoy the Four Seasons of the year.So it is vancouver. We always say "Thanks Canada". December 5,1997. ___ ~,,-:--f'~::;--·::~ '-'-'~~1'"J;ri~--';-- .-' with Thoughts Of You Now in my mind clearly seen There to find me and Eileen Pleasure-skating at Monarch Park There afternoon there after dark Now hot summer days there swimming Line-up at seven--day dimming Arriving home and there in luck Driving the road an ice-cream truck Now on the ground the leaves of fall with raking sound leaves piled tall In jumping blurring dusk's red glow We two buried from head to toe But-now in drawing to a close 'You can't go back' do you suppose? I know I can--and all I do--Is close my eyes--with thoughts of you * And Mommy's Girl So far away From what was home She couldn't stay So now to roam To roam the street Dead on her feet To meet a John To get it on To get a fix Speed-ball mix To kill the pain out of the rain Addiction's trip Within it's grip without a choice I hear a voice I hear a cry So now to die In the wrong car with a crow-bar There was a time Another world Nursery rhyme And mommy's girl * by Richard Au I came to Canada in 1996 . Every morning I must go to the park for about an hour to exercise. There were more than twenty people, mainly seniors. They were very friendly and happy. I think Vancouver is the most beautiful city in the world. Especially in the spring time, everwhere there are lots of trees and flowers. The environment is excellent, after-wards I attended the English litracy classes in the Learning Centre at Carnegie Hall . I need to learn the pronunciation of the new words, to speak better, and generally to improve my English. AN ANTHOLOGY by Tony Loomis Knowing that the spirit within keeps me true to myself and following its perceptions from day to day helps me to co-exist and show love and understanding to those around me even when they are unworthy of it . In a moment of purest clarity I perceive that God loves us all and gives us freedom of choice to worship him but only in that can we find happiness and true freedom. All of the riches in the world cannot buy happiness because serenity flows from within. Unless we learn to forgive we will be drowned in a sea of resentment. Life is like a broken winged bird when one forgets his dreams. The secret of the Human Spirit is revealed to us when we learn that it is more important to give love than to receive . Sometimes we must kill the past and bury it deeply and not think of the future so that we may learn to live in the present and appreciate it more. There is in sanest hours, a consciousness that rises, independent, lifted out from all else. Calm as the heavens. This is the love and empathy, given to us by God, that we nurture for our brothers and sisters on the Planet Earth. Higher power, you have a soft, quite voice deep within me. Help me, through meditation, to hear you better for yours is the voice I wish to follow. CHESSMEN by Tony Loomes Unbridled fear, that's what I'm feeling right now. Almost totally alone, with but one solitary knight left to assist me in my quest. We are fighting this one out to the death, to the very end. The rest of my team are gone. There will be no reprieve. And me, I'm just an insignificant pawn, trying with every fibre of my being with the assistance of but one knight, to protect this ungodly great giant called a king, next to me. But, in a sense, we are protecting each other. If our King is trapped, as useless as he is, the game will be over. And if I can only make it to the end, with two more squares to go, the metamorphosis will end as suddenly as it began and I will turn into a queen, the most beautiful, strongest and wisest person on our team. I sure hope that knight hovering around us, doing his utmost to protect, doesn't lose his cool. S7AtJ& K '} 'd CIUf rxal S~ #tIf ~ iRe tk~. '} 'd tkuuu. #tIf ~ e¢ ((J tk ~ j«4t ((J 6att ((J tk ~ Me a~, ~ Md 'Ulfted tittte cMd. '} 'd de t4t ((J ~ ~ Ue((J #tIf~, #tIf ~ tittte~, fhitk ~ ~ ad, ~ e¢ tifa. ~ 0IettJ a tattetzed mat Md ~ 0& ~ ~ ~ a4 #tIf ~ ~ ~0&de4Ute. ?fJ~ it '4 ~ '} 'd 'UJft 0<JeIZ, Md ~ 0& ftMIde iRe #tIf {UUt 1)ewetk~~ S~ tk ~ t4a iRe #tIf {UUt 'D~~, ~~tk~. S~'}'d~, '~'}'~~~?' S~ '} 'd ~ fiat '} ~ 6o't ~~. '} 'd ~ rxal S~ #tIf ~ Ue((J tk ~. VANCOUVER'S MISTY MOUNTAINS Ever present Ever solid lows and highs Ever changing colours Morning mist moves in Replacing darkness Ridges are revealed As mist hide low Behind the first mountains by Dora Sanders Sinks to the centre behind the second And lingers on high Behind the third row A picture so obvious Each ridge clearly defined Three dimensial Breathtaking! CASTING COUCH .Jv.,1 i e Cy r, . Cry??? Why would I cry? I never cried. I couldn't find tears because tears belong to victims. Sure, there're many victims in show business, but not me! You know, five years ago, I remember once a director called me after an audition and told me I have been chosen for a part in a film. He asked me to come to dinner and meet the producers. I was excited and accepted this invitation. That evening we went to a karaoke club to meet two producers. They ordered some drinks. They asked me to Sing and dance and drink. The director told me " It's your duty to please the producers. " So I danced and danced, sang until my throat was dry, and drank until I was drunk. When we left the club, I felt so dizzy. I couldn't walk. They took me to a hotel. I got sick and vomited all over the bed and my clothes. The director and producers offered to help with my clothes. They ran their hands under my sweater and skirt. I screamed but no one heard me. I vomited again. My vomit disgusted them. The director slapped me and said "What a disgusting smell! Who told you to drink so much, baby? " Too bad the stink of my vomit still couldn't stop them. Three guys raped me one by one. The next morning I woke up alone in the bed. I took a cab home. I kept asking myself" Do I really want to be an actor? Or should I call the poliCe? To be or not to be? That's the question." Eventually I called the director and producers and told them" I want that part in the film." So I made that movie and many more the same way. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, really. You know why? You see, I'm black and blue all over. What else can hurt me any more? I'm not a victim. I'm a surviver. Do you hear me? And I'm an actor. No one can take that away from me. A PLEASANT AND TINE CONCEITED COMEDY CALLED MENDECHMUS, TAKEN OUT OF THE MOST EXCELLENT POET PLAUTUS. submitted by David Leblanc Titus Maccius Plautus, who was born during the third century B.C. and died during the second, was the most popular of the Roman playwrights. The Elizabethan translation, which Shakespeare may, or may not have known in some form, was published in 1595. The initials of the translator, W. W., are generally thought to stand for William Warner, a man of letters who is sometimes remembered for his historical poem, Albion's England. GOOD RE: LATI ON5"H!P.S ARE SA SED UPoN coMMoN INTERE5T51111 RHATiONSHIP TIP # ILl-: IT's 8~iT£ R IF YOII DON'T l-~T "THoS~ {'ITTLE TJ.lIHGS" BVltp UP To A HOMICIPAL RAGE" "" MU5T you ALWAYS KEAO AT THE TABLE ?I/ . " \ ~ f ! / \ \ - ---~---- ----- - - -\ From the Introduction to: Resistance and Renewal Surviving the Indian Residential school by Celia Haig Brown My Dad's attitude became "Why teach my children indian if they are going to be punished for speaking it?" So he would not allow my mother to speak indian to us in his presence. I never learned how to speak my own language. I am now, therefore, truly a 'dumb' indian. ' by Randy Fred New World Media Society by Fred Arrance You can't fight honour You can't steal pride The spirit will get you, You cannot hid e. that Indian Spirit Sometimes we lose it, That Spirit we choose Being born Indian A Spirit with Pride THEY WILL NEVER GET IT NO MATTER HOW THEY TRY ~\f\ a-t"'i i=~::-:::ACKS TC~-!)AWN 5 rm(\f:j<2->JqU5LlQ\ SDD(ldS Q ~ L-[ S 't f\ n~ \'\ Q\~6 j-kHCLS~ u~ \ ~ ~ 1--the e-nd C5~ +\M~ ''Y\~ Clnd fY\;J IS \. ('- \ ! €-Q ve +ocA-p ~lV\;\-S ) Y\ *~\E- SCL\JL~ 771& 1<() eR ~e aood OH tk 'UJd, a«d 4taMd~. ' 7k ftiea4 k kid (J(J. ~ ~ &uf ~ a«d toIUt. Iei4 ~ a«d ~ duuv. fta'taltd ~ WUJ44 Iei4 dO«t. 7(). weejt: to 4kd a teM 0Jt 'ZOft Iei4 ~ a«d «Jidk it etta.4# 't ~. ~e aood OH tk 'UJd a«d ~ ~. ~e aood OH tk 'UJd, ~ 6dt ~, Iei4 ftiea4 ~ &uf ~ a«d toIUt. 1'itS'J7)& 1~a~OHtk~ Ut4ide. g'~ &ad wid 'Zed ~ ~ fW~ fflJJt H«J«tk. ~ tku aft de a ~~? ~ deefte4t~, to hMe fW ~ k ~ 1 dtift 6ed. 14- H«f ~ OH tk ~ wid fW~ fflJJt H«J«tk OH tk oat4ide 0& H«f ~ Md me &iHd Md mute Ut4ide 0& it aft. -SEPT. 13/1997 I'm deeply saddened by the death of Princess Diana. I watched the funeral on T.V. It was a moving experience. PAUL Fairy Tale Tragedy Was Princess Diana lRJMANI'nES· TEACHER -a destroyer of illusion & fairy tales -so that you can start to Dve life authentically. the world's most celebrated woman - rame, power, beauty, Cortune -& in a moment orrear, anger, paranoia - all gone. Paparazzi's chasing Millions of $ to satisfy a public's thirst for illusion - because or the unwillingness to live one's own liCe. Healthy, centered indhiduals find joy & happiness in the simplicity of loving themselves & THEm UVES - not thirsting for illusion. We live in a world of illusion - avoiding truth - avoiding accepting ourself-not looking deeply at who we are & accepting that - dropping our masks - being real .•. & that's where the great JOY is. this sick world is nurtured by one's acceptance oC "Cairy tales" -strangly - opening the heart & being real allows one a life so much more filled with celebration than the lite oC denial. Socrates said, .. the unexamined lite is not worth living'" Princess Di has left a legacy of destroying our attachment to fairy tales - & don't avoid the social institutions & their consequences as printary Cuel for the illusions ••• religion, social do's & don'ts, marriage, career & so rorth. the life you save & .-lUd will be yours - & this NOW, HERE is the ___ "", .... ent orwaking up & celebrating the miracle or you. No more tunnel flsion. Meditate - die to illusion - BE FREE! by Richard Au Last weekend there was big news in the world, "Diana, Princess of Wales" funeral . Over a million people stayed on the sidewalk with many flowers because she was a charitable and caring person . So the Queen ordered every government department to have the flag at half mast . She spoke to the country for the first time . In the church, the famous singer Elton John, sang "Candle In the Wind" . Both of her sons began to cry and everyone felt sad. At the same time it was broadcast through sixty countries speak-ing forty-four different languages on radio and satelite for everyone in the world to watch . The funeral was from 5 p.m. to 8 o'clock in the evening . p Battle with Mr. Smith The eleven-year-old with budding breasts Opened the door of Mr. Smith's beer store Darkly lit with wooden-beamed ceilings, Creaky dirty wooden floor And of course, at the counter The pale-faced, beady-eyed ivlr. Smith Who always stared at her breasts. Ivlr. Smith's father had hung himself From those beams Years ago it was said. She was scared of Mr. Smith And the ghost of his father. .. IS Never Lcu-e lOlJ€ \ S i--e Y\ctE:-Y ?J~ Y\ -1 \-<Z ~\Y\d Some nights she had to go to the store More than once, it depended On how drunk her mother was. Anxiously she would watch The large screw-top beer bottles become empty Knowing that she would have to return To Mr. Smith's beer store To beady-eyed Mr. Smith. If the store was empty He would come around the counter And try to fondle her breasts Usually she managed to wriggle away. Mr. Smith was at the counter that special day. Come round here, Mr. Smith said Come behind the counter. She said, no, no I don't want to. But you are just like your mother, Mr. Smith said You are your mother's daughter. Come here, come behind the counter I want to show you something. She became enraged Fear left her She yelled and pounded her small fists on the counter. I'll never drink I won't smoke I'll never hurt my children. And she never did. And Mr. beady-eyed, pale-faced Smith Never bothered her again And she was no longer scared. He was just a dirty old man Who owned a beer store. No woman or child should ever Accept labels leom 5~~I~mi~~ \e V --------------~~------~~----~------~-------- -- -- -.0 :r@ •• f __ ' ~"" /'.~ .'lA ' .~;r._. , ....... .. ".'., .. ,:;~lr,Itf,Q<o ..... \ THE ENCHANTED AUTUMN & THANKSGIVING V· '. ~ I!T~" ""/ ' Creator-Life's force is a wonder and mystery that gives to life its mystery. (1.5 It transforms nature to many different brilliant colours in autumn season. It changes, for examples from crawling caterpillar to a flying colourful ~ r butterfly. Y' Autumn delight has many moods, Beauty has moods for everyone Transformed colours stands out in the nature A time to be grateful to celebrate the beauty of Thanksgiving and peace and m hope. ;;p Show or appreciate or acknowledge give thanks for the harvest bountifully provided and blessings. Give thanks in your heart at this festive time . May your harvest of blessing be many. Appreciate the beauty of the changing autumn leaves and watch them dance and whirl in the breeze A. Tap into your innate wisdom. "'4: It enhances life and well being . ~,., )n The Master Designer weaves the strands of life, .,., ~1., .~ touches with the threads of joy, serenity, laughter, and etc. AJ ,~ .. ~_ .... _H_A_VE __ A_H_A-=PP_Y_T_H_A_NK_S_G_I_V_IN_G __ ~_c_~_!_~_~_i_r~_t~ __ i?_9_7 ___ ~_!l_t_I' , ~/ :. ~.:-~ " \ , " J • I \ l \ --'''--W- ~ ---:--.--- ' - - ---- ... .. .. ... ' . J" • ," . Th is is a pocrTI ab ou t Illy friend, Nurse r 11:\ ller loveliness of influence felt by nIl \\'ith adlniratioll. As she glided gracefully amongst patiPIlIs showed same beautiful gestures, \Vhen n1inglecl an10ngst friends & other people. noticeable was:her radiant laughter l\: SI11ik, 'Vit h such keen Inind and though lfll 1I1P5s were the approaches to\varcls others - ulli quely Inspiration & encOtlragelllent urged liS (0 Illove onward \vith confic1en< SeIlsed her strengthening guide. Felt c'oznfortable in her ascending presence Beheld her as a trusting cOlllpanion or like a friend \vith caring kindness who 1110ved freely in her rhythl11 of life. Surrounded us \vith supporting atnl0sphere Thus experiencing joyously through every . ne\\! expenence whatever the situation & circulllstance Being highly honoured those \vIla have dignity and respect beC~Hlse of her hannonizing presence ilnd cnthusiasl1l. I\1ay 1990 -~. --ISELF-HARM BOOkS] ARCOBALENO DISH WASH MACHINE Scrub the Pots, wash the Pans , keep them clean . For I'm the ... Captain of the Dish Wash Machine. Sweep the Floors, do the Chores, the Knife, the Fork. Happy me, the Spoon. fly me, to the moon. For I'm the .. . Captain of the Dish Wash Machine. Wipe the Table, and Tureen, so Cookie, David clang, she won't scream. and David clatter, everything else, Dough hooks swirl, alta girl. Dishes bang, Cups rattle, it don't matter. Cutlery swish, Mixers prattle . For I'm the, . . Captain of the Dish Wash Machine. A hectic day, a breathtake run, HEY FOLKS! THE DINNER'S DONE! Go to Mary," Where's my tix? Mary says," Your schnoz to pix!" Give three cheers, and let's be keen . For I'm the . .. " CAPTAIN OF THE DISH WASH MACHINE!! fllll~~;; III Au-dela de I'arc-en-ciel Bien au-dela de la portee de I'homme On dit qu'il existe une terre qui defie I'imaginat Au-dela de I'arc-en-ciel Bien au-dela du demi-cercle de I'arc On dit qu'il existe une terre parfaite Au-dela de I'arc-en-ciel Bien au-dela de I'arc aux sept couleurs On dit qu'il existe I'autre moitie de I'arc Au-dela de I'arc-en-ciel circulaire Bien au-dela de I'arc-en-ciel..bien ~e On dit qu'il existe la terre de la beatitude. "It's a single-parent family and a social worker." I Chris Laird - as told to Shiela One woman married a very rich man He said his brother had to go with him everywhere. One night they went to a party and the wife got a bad headache. Her husband said "Why don't you go home darling." She went home, opened the door to her bedroom and said to the butler, "Take off my dress, take off my panty hose, take off my wig," and "don't wear them ever again". What is the difference between ignorance and indifference? "I don't know", and "I don't care". Computer 1 "Arnold's tried everything - LSD, pot, cocaine, alcohol-but he always comes back to his old soother./I ----submitted quotes by David LeBlanc It would make a man at his wit's end to see how brabbling causes are handled yonder at the court. If a poor man, never so honest, have a matter come to be scanned, there is he outfaced and overlaid with countenance. If a rich man, never so vile a wretch, come to speak, there they are all ready to favour his cause. What with facing out bad causes for the oppressors and patronizing some just actions for the wronged, the lawyers they pocket up all the gains. For mine own part, I come not away empty, though I have been kept long against my will. For taking in land to dispatch a matter this morning for one of my acquaintance, I was no sooner entered into it, but his adversaries laid so hard unto his charge and brought such matter against him that, do what I could, I could not wind myself out till now. I am sore afraid Erotium thinks much unkindness in me that I stayed so long; yet she will not be angry, considering the gift I gave her today. Plautus: Menaechmus Repose you there, while I to this hard house, More harder than the stones whereof 'tis rais'd; Which even but now, demanding after you, Denied me to come in, - return, and force Their scanted courtesy. Shakespeare/King Lear None of these rogues and cowards But Ajax is their fool. Shakespeare/King Lear None but the Fool, who labours to out jest His heart-struck injuries. Shakespeare/King Lear This cannot be, By no assay of reason. 'Tis a pageant To keep us in false gaze. When we consider The importancy of Cyprus to the Turk, And let ourselves again but understand That as it more concerns the Turk than Rhodes, So may he with more facile question bear it, For that it stands not in such warlike brace, But altogether lacks the abilities That Rhodes is dressed in. If we make thought of this, We must not think the Turk is so unskilful To leave that latest which concerns him first, Neglecting an attempt of ease and gain To wake and wage a danger profitless. Shakespeare/Othello I . i ~. I ; , f' \ I I ' \ , . - -..--- --~. _. - --v , . _ . ~ .. ~~ ........... ----~)  To Sarah From Shawnee Sawyer A Blessing Asked Especially For You I pray that God will guide you in your decision, that he will quiet you amid the world's confuss -ion; and that he will comfort you and carry you over the times when you feel that you cannot make it alone. And I pray that he will always let me be there beside you to let you know that where-ever our hearts may be you may feel safe and loved and at home. Colin McCarthy THE SERENITY PRAYER God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr Always pray for the best, and live one day at a time . We cannot change the past; we just need to keep the good memories and acquire wisdom from the mistakes we've made. We cannot predict the future; we just need to hope and pray for the best, and what is right and believe that's how it will be. We can live a day at a time, enjoy the present and always seek to become a more loving and better person. Karen Berry Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. May God bless you with good health and close friends every day the whole year through. May God protect you and look after the loved ones around you. May God love you and always be near, where ever you go. Arida Fuller May I seek to live this day quietly, eassily, leaning on God's mighty strength, trustfully, restfully, meeting others in the path peacefully, joyously, waiting for God's will unfolding, patiently, serenely, facing what tomorrow brings confidently, courageously. Anonymous e. I~d~ l"1\et the. MOl'\ster at c:\ PCA.(· (And the. rnol'\shr Wa.s charrni",9 and ~ the Y'Y\or'lster SQi~/~ov'(,t not "ne of tho~e aWfUl people who thinks /'1'(\ 0. TY\onst-er o,('e. ~OU? Se.ccWse I am fl9-t a. MonSte:r. I'M the Mctrl ~f yov(' o.re a.M S." Th e MonSter Showed hi s teeth. The t"tlo'()st€r cl!' f';'t- ve. ~ ca.r SO she let him ~fl ve hers, ~ didn't helVe. c:\n~ Money, but So.i~ if She helped hiM €.':J wov/d nave a fortvhe bec.OvI.He Secretl~ III rU1I II·Fe. he. was bflllia.l')t C\.nd s-ucces$-fc..d, she If.{st ha.d +0 .f'igvfe cut h"w to gethim ovt of the. yY\on ster. "\-\elp Me r So.'Je me /'J .said the m(1(\ of her ctr:amS, Cind the. MonSter opened his mcvth Ve.f~ w(de. For a mOl'neM the It.ld~ elt scared. The rno'()?re,f' SCJ.I·d "D,-dn't !;Iou See /I the. MoVI e 'fieauty and tht Bea5r ? The la.d3 nodded ar\~ felt ashamed for .~ dOI..\bhf\~ the tratlSFOrMi"9 power of uY\(olldlrIOno.llove, Ar.d then he. ate heY', A pub'''c Se.fvl·ce Q.nr1ounceme!1t r?\"\ . i, ~" .~ -~ - .. . ~ ------,,--r Friday, September 12, 1997. I saved a man ' s life this evening. He hung himself from one of the rafters in front of the construction site of the Lief Erickson Building . As i was walking down the street past the police station. I saw two women. One of them was crying . The other looked as though she was in a daze. She pointed to something out to me without saying a word. As I walked toward to where she was pointing. I saw the man. He was hanging there, with a sheet wrapped around his neck, and the other end tied to the rafter. I could tell he wasn't breathing. Emotionally, I didn't feel anything . Well, a little shocked, I suppose. He was unconcious. I immediately untied the sheet from the rafter. No-one was around to catch him . One of the women was there , but she was on too much shock to be of any help. I just let him fall to the ground. He smelled of booze. He had also soiled himself. I am told that when you die, or just before, your muscles completeley relax in your whole body . I guess he was just on the verge of dying. I untied the noose from around his neck. It was still constricting his breathing. As I was doing this. The cops arrived. They let me finish doing what I was doing. After I had finished. ONe of them took me aside and questioned me as to what the situation was as I arrived myself. I explained in complete detail. He also took my name and address. I thought, "Well, this one time I'll co-operate with them." He said that, if I hadn't done what I had done. The man would be dead. I think he also said thank you. I'm not too sure. He was also about to say that the man would probably thank me too . But, he stopped in mid-sentence. I think at that moment the cop and I were thinking the same thing. The man wanted to die. Why would he thank me for fucking up his plans. Tutoring at the Learning Center is great. Though, I though I was getting soft and emotional. As I was going through the situation. I completely distanced myself as to what was happening . It's not that I'm a cold-hearted son of a bitch. I am rather proud that one of my safeguards that i used to protect myself while I was a streetperson is still intact. I had said to a friend some days earlier that I felt that I was losing the idea of who I was. Changing. I am glad that I am or was a streetperson . If you can survive to streets. You can survive anything. I have survived with the caring help of my friends who told me that i was worth something. I, myself, have attempted suicide and when I was revived or woke up the next day . I was disappointed and ashamed to still be alive . I know that this man will be angry with me. But, i ' m glad i did what i did. I don't know him and i never will. But, I must have felt that he was worth something or I would have just walked right past him and not given it a second thought like the others that did before i got there. LUKE AUGER NOW Hastings & Carralliooking West Removal of the C.P.R. spurline led to establishment of Pioneer Place, extreme right, which was better known as Pigeon Park, a favourite sunning spot of Skid Road residents whose benches were removed in 1972 by a city council intent on window-dressing the area for Gastown and tourism. READING ROOM ROUNDUP by Irene Schmidt On August 6 we had a retirement party for a very special person. Eleanor Kelly was such an efficient organizer and could relate to everyone who entered this building. There were many tributes to our head librarian. I remember her as a counsellor as many patrons would pour their hearts out to this amazing lady when they were feeling down. It was because of a daughter's illness that she decided to work in this area. Cyril Ekstein was one of many who often confided in Eleanor. We were shocked to hear about how he passed away at such an early age. I shall always remember Cyril helping me decorate the Christmas tree in the library. I thoroughly enjoy being on the library committee and one of the highlights was when we attended the first Inner City Library Conference. Eleanor was instrumental in obtaining funding for us and we owe her a great debt of gratitude. We stayed at a beautiful old brick building which used to be a T. B. sanatorium. It is nestled in the midst of the spectacular Qu' Appelle valley surrounded by rolling hills. Even though we went there at the end of April there was still ice on the lake. Despite the cold weather the wild prairie crocuses succeeded in blooming allover the hills. The organizers of the conference were fantastic and there was entertainment for us every evening. We were invited to a Sioux reserve for supper and dancing. Everyone made us feel extremely welcome. I would like to return there for a visit when I have more time. This is a time for new beginnings. We were very fortunate in obtaining Andrew Martin for our library. Andrew is great for this community as he used to fill in for Eleanor and finds it easy to relate to the patrons. Please make him feel welcome. In closing I would like to say being on the library committee has been a rewarding experience. _ A ,... _ _ _ -I.. ~ ,.. • • DIVINE RETRIBUTION by Tony Loomes I wondered down the road on a dark and dreary night When whom should I spy from the corner of my eye, but that one who's a terrible sight. Dark and sinister, all clothed in black, too late, I'd seen him, I couldn't turn back. The Grim Reaper stood, near a crowd, by the side, looking morbid as ever, like death's ugly bride. He glanced over at me on that fateful night, His deadly eyes gleaming with an intense light. He spoke then and said, "You'll be mine this day, 'cause you know for a fact you're going to pay." He put his hand out and I backed away: I knew if he touched me I'd be dead that day. I walked and I walked for over a mile but then when I turned, he was there with a smile. The Reaper said without malice and with no rancour, "I've come a long way, and you're the one I've come for. " "Why me?" I said, "What did I do?" "It's just a job," he spoke, "I never ask who." "Where will I go and where will you take me?" I said. "You know damn well I don't want to be dead." "Your time has come," he quoth with a nod, "after all, I have a job." "But where will I go? You don't even know my story." "I don't have to," said the Reaper, "you're going to Purgatory. " When I took his hand there was no pain to bear, I looked back once and saw my body lying there. And to all you good people who have listened, you'll know: It really is true that you reap what you sow. Now that I'm through I'll leave you this thought in mind, because I know that some people think that justice is blind: The idea that I give, as a final solution, there really is a diving retribution. BIRTHDAY PRESENT by Julie eyn Michael, are you ready? Camera rolling? Happy birthday, Mom. Wow! It's been fifteen months since I came to Vancouver. Vancouver is such a beautiful place. Nice weather, friendly people. And I'm fine. I go to UBC every day, studying medicine. Everything is going very well. And I miss you. And----that's a lie . You really wanna know how I am? I miss you sometimes, but I hate you most of the time. And I--I tell you the truth. I already left UBC. Studying medicine makes me feel like I'm wasting my life. I know you love me. mum. You want me to have a good career, so you want me to be a doctor. Mum, you give me too much pressure. You love me too much. I'm suffering from your love. You think being a doctor is a good career, huh? But It's not for me. Please, leave me alone. Michael, would you please stop the camera for a minute? Take that part out, Michael. I can't imagine how angry my mum will be when she watches this video. You think it's time to tell her the truth? You want me to continue? Mum, why do you have so strong a prejudice towards musicians? Remember, whenever I was singing or playing the keyboard at home, you would yell at me? "Stop that! You're wasting your time. You see those musicians singing and playing musical instruments in the street, begging money from the passengers? I tell you, Julie, if you keep studying music, you'll become a beggar." Mum, you know what I'm doing now? I'm studying music. I've written a bunch of songs and I'm recording my demo tape. No matter if I become a beggar, poor musician or whatever, I'm responsible for it. Don't worry about me . Leave me alone, please. Anyway, Mother, Happy birthday! How's that, Michael? THEN Hastings & Carra II looking West 1932 For 45 years Canadian Pacific Railway trains routinely crossed Hastings St at Carrall. Here C.P.R. 252 makes one of the last shunti ng trips to False Creek before the crossi ng was abandoned in favour of a tunnel. The old B.C. Electric Bui Id il (left, 1912) through whose arches streetcars used to pass was in transition with buses and would soon be converted into a bank . At the extreme right is the Merchants Ban k bui Id i ng, (1913), ang led to accommodate th e spurl i ne. The building wi P on the side (for Pierre Paris shoe store) is a typical turn-of-the-century commercial building, designed by the period's leading B.C. architect Thomas Hooper. The whole row, mostly still standing, was built before 1910. THE MISSING LINK by Irene Schmidt Everyone in our family was saddened by the death of Uncle Bill recently . He was the last of Dad's siblings . Dad was the eldest and was born in Gretna, Manitoba. The reason for the grandparents on Dad's side leaving Manitoba was that the land became too expensive for them. Grandma and Grandpa took up a homestead in the Medstead district several years prior to his birth. Several years following his birth the family moved to a farm in the Mount Hope District northeast of North Bat tIe ford . The reason for choosing this location was they wanted to be near the railroad as at Medstead they had to travel too far to transport their goods. On the Mount Hope farm Grandma and Grandpa raised four children including William, his older sister Elizabeth, his older brother John, as well as his youngest brother Henry. The family were very active in social, community and political life. Uncle Bill expressed an early interest and displayed a talent for music, which was nurtured and encouraged by his family, he successfully completed the ACTM certification for violin from The Toronto Conservatory of Music. William planned a career in music, however the Depression and other life events prevented this from becoming a reality. Neverless, throughout his life Uncle Bill enjoyed both performing and listening to a variety of music, however his preference was always for the classics. Music played another extremely important role in William's life. In the 1930's Uncle Bill met his future wife Emma, through a common love of classical music and through the encouragement of their music teacher. In 1938 Uncle Bill and Aunt Emma were married at Biggar and farmed in a variety of locations south of Biggar. In 1943 their son Ron was born. In 1945 they moved to The Dale farm which they later purchased, and where they lived until 1962. At this time they purchased a home in Saskatoon and operated their farm from there until 1969 where they retired from active farming. In 1969 Uncle Bill suffered a major heart attack and recovered. The main reason for him surviving for so many years was due to the tender loving care from Aunt Emma. This Florence Nightingale really watched Uncle Bill's diet and she always had a twinkle in her eye when she said, "I want to keep him around for a few more years." Wayne and I last saw them in July 1996 and they were still like honeymooners. For several years Uncle Bill and Aunt Emma worked with their good friends Jack and Eileen 0' Brian, at a fishing lodge In northern Saskatchewan. This experience provided them with many lasting fond memories. In the mid 1970's Uncle Bill and Aunt Emma entered a more relaxed phase of life, during which time Uncle Bill mastered the crafts of woodworking and Lapidary . Uncle Bill was an avid fisherman and was very proud of his trophy fish. In 1994 Uncle Bill and Aunt Emma moved to their present home in the wildwood district of Saskatoon. Bill remained active in church, social and community life until two years prior to his death. Uncle Bill was a person who was always keenly interested in assisting the needs of others. This was demonstrated by his many acts of generosity and of helping neighbours, family and friends whenever needed. He had a very positive outlook on life . This attitude, along with his ability to always focus on the best in people, encouraged and nurtured his family and friends. Uncle Bill's honesty and integrity served as an excellent role model for his family and all who knew him. Uncle Bill will be greatly missed by all whose lives he touched. Surviving Uncle Bill are his wife Emma, his son and daughter-in-law Ron and Julie and grandson Herman. Also surviving are his two sisters-in-law Catherine and Alma as well as numerous nieces, nephews and cousins. Uncle Bill was predeceased by his parents Henry and Elizabeth, his sister Elizabeth and his brothers John and Henry. He was also predeceased by his brothers-in-law Arthur, Robert and his sister-in-law Mary and Georgina. Here is a poem from his grandson. TO GRANDPA A man who was stronger I did not know Who took people seriously and never said no Favours for friends always came first That's why I know the spirits will treat him well, And keep him jovial in his life with the angels. I should always remember Uncle Bill's delightful sense of humour. He could always make us laugh when we were feeling down . I shall miss hearing the beautiful music played by Uncle Bill on the piano and violin, Aunt Emma on the piano and Wayne strumming the guitar. There is truly a missing link in more ways than one. 1900'S PLUS 1997 = HISTORY, MINUS TRADITION = TODAY!! TODAY, AS I LOOK INTO THE FACES OF OUR LOST TRIBES, MANY ARE PLAGUED WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. AND THERE ARE ONLY A FEW WHO STILL STAND FIRM, WHO KNOW, OR ARE FAMILIAR WITH THEIR RIGHTS AS A NATIVE. BUT STILL, JUST KNOWING THIS KNOWLEGE, AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT ARE STILL TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. TAKING AN EXPRESSION FROM THE TWELVE STEP GROUPS, AND APPLYING IT TO THE NATIVE RACE, WILL AND VERY WELL COULD BREAK THE BONDAGE THAT HAS BEEN IMPOSED ON US OVER THE GENERATIONS THAT HAVE FADED AWAY. THIS EXPRESSION FROM THESE GROUPS THAT I AM SPEAKING OF IS THIS ... " IF YOU KNOW YOUR TALK, WALK YOUR WALK ". WHAT THIS MEANS AND WHAT IT WOULD BRING IS A STRONG BOND OF BEING ABLE TO ... 1) SEE AGAIN; TO ACKNOWLEGE YOUR SURROUNDINGS, AND TO BE ABLE TO TRUST IN YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE A FIRST NATIONS PERSON WHO HAS THE SAME RIGHTS AS WELL AS ANYBODY ... 2) TO FEEL AGAIN; TO BECOME IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS THAT WOULD BE BENEFICIAL TO YOU AS A NATIVE, AND TO FURTHER YOUR KNOWLEGE ABOUT YOUR LOST AND WATERED DOWN HERITAGE .. . ( BACKGROUND) 3) TO SPEAK AGAIN; TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH YOUR ELDERS, TO TRY AND LEARN OF OUR FORE-FATHERS, AND ABOUT THE MISTAKES THAT WERE MADE IN THE GENERATIONS THAT HAVE ALREADY GONE BY AND NOT TAKE, OR ACCEPT ANY CONDEMNATION FROM ANY OTHER SOURCE OF POWER AND WORK TOW ARDS A BETTER FUTURE FOR OUR CHILDREN AND OUR CHILDREN'S, CHILDREN. 4) TO TRUST AGAIN; TO BE ABLE TO EMPOWER YOUR SELF WITH A HEALTHY PRIDE OF KNOWING WHOM YOU ARE AND WHERE YOUR TRIBUNAL ANCESTRY L YES AND FOR-EVER GOES UN-CHANGED. THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN EASY THING TO DO, BUT THE REALITY OF IT IS ... THE FIRST STEP STARTS WITH YOU .. . YOU ARE NOT ALONE. IF YOU ARE SCARED, AND ARE OVER RIDDEN WITH FEAR, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS EVEN IF IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD BE REMEMBERED AT THIS POINT .. I! NEEDING HELP ISN'T A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, IT IS SIMPLY A SIGN OF BEING HUMAN I!. DEDICATED TO ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN SUFFERING, OR HAVE LOST THEIR LIVES AND/OR FAMILIES THROUGH AN ON GOING WAR WITH A STRING OF BEAUROCRATIC RED TAPE. YOUR PAIN HAS NOT BEEN FORGOTTEN ABOUT, BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER RUNS DEEP, IN REALITY HAS I SPEAK YOUR PAIN HAS BEEN A GIFT TO US THIS DAY, BECAUSE IT GIVES US THE STRENGTH TO BE ABLE TO STAND HERE AND ACKNOWLEGE THE CHANGES THAT NEED TO BE MADE IN ORDER FOR A BETTER TOMORROW . Voice , . .' ". " ..... " ' t ..... " . -- ) The invitation to inspiration sometimes appear to be as difficult to see as the white of white as compared to the brightness of the sunshine. As illusive as a snowshoed rabbit in the midst of a winter's snowstorm. Sometimes too large for the eye to grasp at a distance, or as insignificant as a grain of sand on a wonderful white beach. Numerous times that one grain might seem you're the one with one, while many others have what appears to be buckets full of inspiration. Theirs being liken to diamonds, shining by a polishing of thought, smooth and tooled by time, and trued to a hardness through experience. While the sand is still dulled, by the shine of the day or made to be smalled, by the size of the universe. It did come from somewhere and is with you now, new, precious and pure, and it will find a way to somewhere with or without you having acknowledged or even noticed its inapprarent presence. I read a quote it was about a snowflake, not the first of the season, but as white as any that had ever been made by God and His wonderful nature. So well made, like pollen trying to find its place with the many aids and adversaries of nature, grand and great, the wind with its fickleness, the clouds with their clumsy, cumbersome size and ominous yield, many time unwanted sometimes needed too much (a judgement of man), and of course the cool of the November air. I watch as it skiddered from the one side of the farm yard where it had been in the midst the some other rather thoughtless action to hovering over an old, very old well, with grey/green mosses, many many cracks, and worn edges, and inviting opening. One would think this possible that it could be one of the first man made water vessels to ever be constructed. Down, down it floated to the bottom of this bricked tunnel where after many seconds it touched the surface of the well's water, and seemingly disappeared into an everness, possibly to be the first cyrstal of the ice crust that would form over the winter months, leaving it nearly impossible to draw any water. Can you imagine removing the well's water, and just leaving dry, removing the brick and stones and having nothing but darkened space, removing the snowflake and having no float. With all that gone, nothing? Catch the drift? Even as something appears becomes to become nothing nature continues to somewhere from someplace. June 17/97 MY STORY _~--""'...;;a;I My name is Florence Green and I am a woman that lives in vancouver. And I see a lot of people on the streets and I help a lot of the people out on the streets when I can. The people sleep on the streets and I have slept on the streets too and I hate it and walk them to. My mother put me on the streets when I was 11 years old. I have seen little children's on the streets too. And it makes me look at the people on the streets today. It makes me cry to see the people do what they d o . I see them died in hotel rooms and on streets and I am looking at at me. My mother di ed in a hotelroom and I lived in hotelrooms. The people in B.C carne to vancouver and people in U.S.A and Sask carne to and they see them sleeping on the streets. It is looking at a picture of a little girl before you judge her it makes you want to take her horne. And it is looking at a picture of a little boy before you judge he look in his face and you would just cry. I am one of them and lhate it when I see the children's on the streets. I have children's too and I have to tell them I was on the streets and slept and walk the streets. The woman 1 talk to they ask of I help the people on the streets and help the men to and I ask her of she helpes them. The downtown eastside I like helping them and I wash they would help themsalf but they will not. I seat at horne and I look out my windon at night and days I just want to cry and cry mysalf to sleep at nights when 1 see them on the streets. lwash they would go horne but I just say that in my mind.l wash the people in town would have it in their hearts to help them. So 1 can sleep at nights and 1 can find a home for them two.A little kid ask me for money to eat and 1 take the little kid in a cafe to eat and I seat at the table and the kid eat and eat 1 was crying so I walk out of the cafe. And I what home we all have home to go two and you have children's to.l seen a old man sleeping on the pavement and a woman sleeping to I walking down the street and I see a young man and a young woman sleeping on the streets to and I cry when I see them.When I see mother and babys on the streets I see mysalf on the streets.l am drunk 1 did time in jail I see children's in jails they are 14 years o ld and older.l see them died in jail to it is not a nice to see. I see joung girls died on the streets I wash I can help them but I cannot I cry and cry. So when you people read this story you will cry to. I set at home and cry and cry in my mind I just look back to the the t ime I walk the streets I find that I walk them ~ ever day by day and at night to p$ we have to real help the people on the streets. The End Florence Green A Different View Loss of self esteem, loss of self image, loss of motivation, loss of volition. These losses transiate into needs. Who defines or articulates these needs? under the current system governments issue funds to human service agencies or providers to define and address these needs, however benign and altruistic this system may seem, providers and sympathetic core groups arbitrarily define delivery and definition of needs. The cost to the individual who requires a service is the degradation of the individuals self-concept by the messages of deficiencies. In the Downtown Eastside the largest deficiency is poverty, this is a disability and along with this disability are the extra costs associated with the disability. The extra costs are not generally financial, they are an abstract cost and this cost comes in the form of entrenchment of loss of self- esteem and self-image. The public investments in the poor for services are given to non-poor people who are called "servicers". The Downtown Eastside is one of the largest collection of "servicers" that routinely assert the need for more services, agencies, and systems thus inferring that the leadership and capacities of these individuals are inadequate to solve problems. The inception of new services and agencies around people creates new environments that will guarantee deviant behaviour by people who receive these services. Those who use these services will only become known by their deficiencies and will be serviced at the discretion of those offering the service. Active citizenship will retreat in the face of professional expertise and services will aggregate to form total environments. These effects are so widely over looked because of the compelling rational for human services . ELDERLY CROSSING by Dora Sanders The sign by the road said, 'Elderly Crossing'. An old woman stood by the sign looking at the uncaring car and truck drivers in the passing traffic. Crossing the narrow English Village road was possible - perhaps the old woman felt she was not going to be fast enough. Others, younger, more agile were dashing across. Cars have the right-of-way in England, I'm told. I'm elderly and was a tourist in the picturesque place so I followed her example. Instead of crossing the busy road I walked alongside on a narrow, crowded sidewalk that would barely allow two to pass. At one point a sales booth covered the sidewalk and I had to step up one large step and walk a bit and step down one deep step to continue on. They were selling ice cream and other summer treats such as hot dogs at the booth. It was a hot day so I turned around after a step or two, bumping into people as I did so, and went back to get a cone . 'One pound' the sign said, which in Canadian is something like two dollars and fifty cents. I pointed to what I wanted. "One pound fifty," I was told. 'God, I can read,' I thought, but let it go. That was one expensive cone. There was a nearby bench in front of a tourist centre. I sat down and started to eat my cone. An elderly man was sitting there. "Do you live here?" I asked, ever the typical blunt tourist. "I do," he said, pointing across the street with his cane, to a busy small store area, and a road veering off in an incline behind the shops. The whole village was hilly except for the main road, and it gently slanted downward. He nearly hit people with his cane and had to lower it when people bumped into it. "I hope you live well," I said. "I'm eight-five," he said. "I'm in a care home." Well he said another word which I took to be 'care home.' Maybe he lived at the rear or above one of the shops. "I'm from Canada," I said. "My son lives in Canada," he said. "Oh how nice," I replied . "Where?" "In Toronto," he said. "I've never been to Toronto," I said. "It's very big." "Yes, he told me it's too big. The traffic problem is a real headache for him." "Do you manage to cross this street alright?" I asked. "Oh yes," he said, "when the traffic slows." We talked a bit more. I gathered the traffic was bad only in the tourist season. I finished my cone and returned the way I had come, stepping up onto the sales booth, along about six feet and down. I went up the narrow street, stopping only to buy some post-cards which were hanging on hooks outside a shop . 'Another tourist trap,' I thought, but oh well. The old woman had gone from beside the 'Elderly Crossing' sign. I never chanced the crossing, instead I went directly back to 'my' coach, or 'tourist bus'. I stored the cards in my pack just as the coach started to leave the pretty little village. I did see an elderly couple hurry across the road and a car slow for them so the This rational is a persuasive argument yet services that claim a success refuse to acknowledge the fact, that, for everyone successful agency or service there are 1000 failures. For a community that requires so many services a new machine has been created and within this machine is the redefinition of "us" not as a people in a place, but as individuals in a system. This machine has threatened the individual by institutionally defined social programs with the power to establish authoritative definitions of need and who, what, where, when and how these needs will be addressed. All to often society claims politicians do not have the interest of the individuals or communi ties at heart and measures have been instigated to stymie the lack of accountability felt by the general populace. However, this right for" servicers" to be accountable for the disbursement of funds and services is not afforded to those who must rely on the current systems and whose primary disability is only financial. When approached for accountability, of services or servi c ers, self-righteous indignation is one of the responses, the o ther · is no response and the third is to have a policy debate that focuses on setting ceilings or streamlining services. These policy debates only turn citizens into clients who require intervention of a paid provider. These services have become valrted institutions as they provide a comfortable lifestyle for those employed in this field, However, the analogy of a snake consuming its own tail is used to describe the fact, that, these "servicers" will consume more than they will ever produce. The perverse consequences and irony of the need for more money for more services and servicers, is, for this economy to grow problems must proliferate. Gary Thompson 2 drivers weren ' t all out to stop the elderly from crossing. I gave the cards out after I got home. I'm sorry I never got a postcard with the colourful sign, 'Elderly Crossing' on it. And I didn't think to take a picture of it. FalIlWinter 1997 Edition These writings are not exercises in spelling and grammar -They are unedited written thoughts from Carnegie writers. We all have different voices. We are all unique individuals. Happy New Year Merry Christmas Joyous Solstice Happy Hanukkah! THANKS TO ALL WRITERS ALL HELPERS 401 Main Street Vancouver, B. C. AND THANKS TO THE LEARNING CENTRE FOR HOSPITALITY AND CAPILANO COLLEGE FOR PRINTING FIGHTING FOR SURVIVAL by Irene Schmidt The first Trick or Treaty Rally occurred on October 31. It was a sunny fall day and the leaves were a variety of beautiful colors. Autumn is the most interesting and enjoyable time of the year. We gathered at the Vancouver Central Library to start our rally. I went as Mick Jagger and had a sign saying, "We Can't Get No Satisfaction From The Politicians." The organizers of this particular rally did a fantastic job and every issue was covered including welfare, health and education cuts, extreme poverty, lack of jobs especially for youth, affordable housing crisis, the increasing homelessness, lack of drug and alcohol detox centres, child apprehensions, the corrupt justice system and police brutality. We need more support for families to keep them together instead of continuously seeing the destruction of family units. With the present system in existence it is just as if the residential schools never closed. Aboriginal children are still adopted outside of their own culture. All of these so called experts do not know the true meaning of the expression, "in the best interest of the child." After we left the library we marched down Hamilton Street and turned on Smite to continue to the law courts where we had another rally complete with speakers. Viola Thomas was the M. C. with such a powerful voice. From there we marched down to the Benthal Centre on Burrard and blocked the streets where another rally took place. A giant puppet of Jean Cretien followed us everywhere we went. Next we travelled to Canada Place to have another rally complete with speakers. From there we marched through Gastown to entertain the numerous tourists. They looked bewildered and kept taking pictures of us. The lack of services for urban natives is appalling. To demonstrate this our next rally stop was Pigeon Park where our brothers and sisters hang out. We let them know that they have not been forgotten by everyone. From there we marched up Hastings Street past the Carnegie Community Centre and then we demonstrated in front of the police station. I was extremely proud of our youth for the way they spoke and their courage. When you see the way they conducted themselves one feels as if the future is in good hands. Members of the youth dumped bottles of chinese cooking wine out on the street because it is killing many of our people. I wonder where they brought the new police chief from. When Chief Chambers came to speak at Carnegie he said he did not know chinese cooking wine was a problem in the Downtown Eastside. Perhaps we should take him on a walking tour and bring this man back to reality. Our final destination was Oppenheimer Park where we were treated to stew, bannock, fruit and beverages. There was also musical entertainment and an open mike for anyone who wished to speak. I never cared for rap music until that day when this young man did such an excellent job of expressing the issues with it. There were many signs opposing APEC and the M.l . A. agreements. I would like to see the Trick or Treaty Rally become an annual event until justice prevails for all. The Families. There are rich and poor families all over the world. The rich ones have many luxuries whilst the poorer ones do not. Many families live in this very happy world I have seen in Canada and other countries how people live with lots or insufficient money . Families that have a lot of money have many things that are very nice. The richest families have the biggest houses and the best cars. They travel to many places in the world. Sometimes for business or for vacations. The poor families do not have anything of value. But when they do have something of value they treasure it. In this world are the two faces of life. The rich at the top of the mountain and the poor in the depth of the ocean. This is very unfair! unfortunately such is life and there is nothing much. We could do to change the situation August, 1997 Rodolfo Marroquin The UBC Library and UBC Learning Exchange would like to thank the following participants for their contributions to digitizing this community-generated document: Brookes Bayfield; Graham Cunningham This community-generated work was digitized and deposited to cIRcle, UBC's open access digital repository, as part of the Digitizing Community Memories project of the Making Research Accessible in the Downtown Eastside initiative (MRAi). In collaboration with the UBC Learning Exchange and UBC Library, the project provided training and support for community members in the Downtown Eastside to digitize and make openly available community-generated materials.  This project aimed to increase access to historic Carnegie Centre publications and preserve these unique materials for years to come.  For more information on this project and the UBC Learning Exchange, please visit learningexchange.ubc.ca  September 13, 2017 

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